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top 200 commentsshow all 270

[–]diggemigre 290 points291 points ago

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Add some charcoal and he's ready to grill.

[–]ThatsItGuysShowsOver 174 points175 points ago

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He has the ribs for that.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]kettal 30 points31 points ago

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classy

[–]plaguelocust 14 points15 points ago

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That's the dumbest thing I think I've ever seen.

It's obvious he should have gone for the implantable fleshlight.

Where's RelevantRule34 when you need him?

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

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He's already going to wind up as someone's fapping material if he ever gets incarcerated. I don't think he should make things any worse for himself.

[–]maxtheman 1 point2 points ago

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Since the original post was deleted, this just really confused me...

...and I'm not even Baked!

[–]sidein 0 points1 point ago

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Even dumber, with an extra dose of likely severe burns: Heated Ab Belts to burn fat

[–]big-o-notation 3 points4 points ago

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It's not everyday you see spam upvoted to +23.

[–]cigerect 4 points5 points ago

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redditor for 6 hours

This is spam. Notice the link is not at all relevant to the thread and is simply a reply to a top comment.

Please report this.

Looks like this guy is getting more sophisticated; the username isn't just a random string of characters like they have been in the past.

[–]saidbefore 3 points4 points ago

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Everything about that is terrible. Except for the "surgeons" Stiff Little Fingers shirt.

[–]secretlyilliterate 1 point2 points ago

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I really want to see him go for a jog and suffer a blowout.

[–]Joeyrollin 0 points1 point ago

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His parents must be so proud......

[–]adaminc 0 points1 point ago

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manbeef.com

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]ThatsItGuysShowsOver 19 points20 points ago

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I have seen you spamming this every where. Nope, I am not getting any breast implantation, bro.

[–]meltedlaundry 12 points13 points ago

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What about Instant 6-pack breast implantation?

[–]nichademus 8 points9 points ago

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total recall 2: this time she's got 6

[–]matrael 6 points7 points ago

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I'd buy that for a dollar.

[–]ThatsItGuysShowsOver 3 points4 points ago

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Any spam link for that yet?

[–]neoncp 20 points21 points ago

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Throw it in a pot, add some broth, a potato. Baby, you've got a stew going

[–]notoneofthem 6 points7 points ago

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Yes, that's fine, but I would like to focus on my acting, Mr. Weathers. I did give you my last $1,100

[–]slazer88 1 point2 points ago

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Let me tell you a little story about acting. I was doing this Showtime movie, Hot Ice with Anne Archer, never once touched my per diem. I'd go to Craft Service, get some raw veggies, bacon, Cup-A-Soup... baby, I got a stew going.

[–]ejlewis 5 points6 points ago

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[–]ReallyNiceGuy 1 point2 points ago

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What if he is Tosh?

[–]michaeljonesbird 0 points1 point ago

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Add some charcoal, and baby, you got a cue goin'!

FTFY

[–]letthemeatcrack 0 points1 point ago

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jack black?

[–]zachatree 64 points65 points ago

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Looks like they knocked of the Ab-Abber 2000.

[–]tortured_brain 31 points32 points ago

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The ladies will be all up ons!

[–]ssoass7 19 points20 points ago

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Someone's been working on their cloits and dloits...

[–]Davethe3rd 12 points13 points ago

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With the ease of a thousandaire!

[–]shawnsonium 4 points5 points ago

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It's like a cold ones brewery over here, there's so many six-packs.

[–]CRM-114 3 points4 points ago

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But, where are your pecs?

[–]ForgettableUsername 2 points3 points ago

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Don't need 'em.

[–]GentleZacharias 3 points4 points ago

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That's why they call me double A: ALL ABS.

[–]Soyner 100 points101 points ago

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That's genius. I'm gonna wear it backwards and be the first dude on my block to have a 6-pack back.

[–]MrTapir 65 points66 points ago

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I hate to crush your dreams but.... someone has beaten you to it

[–]Soyner 45 points46 points ago

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dreams. dashed.

[–]Captin_Obvious 4 points5 points ago

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But he doesn't live on your block does he?

[–]ThatsItGuysShowsOver 3 points4 points ago

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Don't worry, even reposts work.

[–]Scarker 1 point2 points ago

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I think it would be even easier if you just sat on it and had a 6-pack ass.

[–]Yankee_Gunner 5 points6 points ago

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OMG you have your head on backwards!

/facepalm

[–]merdenoms 18 points19 points ago

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Simpsons did it.

[–]HamburgerInhibitor 8 points9 points ago

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The Simpsons really have done everything.

[–]morkoq 2 points3 points ago

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and don't you forget it.

[–]al343806 5 points6 points ago

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I was wondering if anyone else was going to point that out.

[–]milkasaurous 6 points7 points ago

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"Chicks will dig it." -Jeff

[–]cultured_banana_slug 1 point2 points ago

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It'd beat having back boobs. :(

[–]Lokonopa 1 point2 points ago

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Depending on your anatomy, you might end up with several back butts.

[–]alternate_ending 0 points1 point ago

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Someone once pointed out that I have back abs. Not a 6-pack back, but back abs nonetheless.

This was at the height of my volleyball-playing days...

[–]ForgettableUsername 0 points1 point ago

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In the biz, that's called a 'back-pack.'

[–]LedInfrared 0 points1 point ago

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A 6-back? /crowd boo's

[–][deleted] 84 points85 points ago

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Recommended by pseudo-athletes.

[–]a_scanner_darkly 4 points5 points ago*

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Hey, does that mean if i wear a tracksuit then i can start getting advertising deals then?

[–]Namelis1 4 points5 points ago

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Sure, I'll get a doctor's coat and spout out about it boosting vitality by 20%

We'll make millions.

[–]Dested 4 points5 points ago

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Nice try Dr. Spaceman

[–]ForgettableUsername 1 point2 points ago

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Spaceman is Zoidberg! Zoidberg is Spaceman!

[–]Urbanette 0 points1 point ago

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For pseudo abs!

[–]intensenerd 22 points23 points ago

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Massive points for anyone that can give me the best explanation you'd give to a girl after you take your shirt off and she sees this. . .

[–][deleted] 61 points62 points ago

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Well you know how your bra makes your boobs look perky? Well, this is pretty much the same thing.

[–]intensenerd 8 points9 points ago

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bahahahah. Didn't think about that. That's awesome.

[–]behemuthm 48 points49 points ago

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starts to tear up "I lost my abs in a fire when I ran into a burning building to save a litter of newborn kittens. I just hope you can accept me for my less-than-perfect abs... and my big heart." one tear drop

[–]Error_Value 2 points3 points ago

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Only acceptable if you also six-pack your heart.

[–]jbarket 11 points12 points ago

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Easy. Just put on your best James Franco and hit her with this:

I can't take this off. It's my abs.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

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Hmm, sounds more like George Michael to me.

[–]areh 3 points4 points ago

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Lost them in 'Nam..

[–]rearlgrant 3 points4 points ago

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I've read threads on dating boards where women ask about how to manage Spanx when spontaneously hooking up. Something just seems off about that, and this....

[–]intensenerd 7 points8 points ago

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TIL what Spanx are. . .

[–]NSFW_Guy 1 point2 points ago

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They have them for men too....

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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As a user and a relative of the designer.....I approve this message.

[–]elezeta 2 points3 points ago

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Sorry for this baby. I'm in a ultra-secret beta program to test a new recording technology developed by NSA. It's custom made in order to fits within my abs, cannot take it off without their permission.

Disclosure: Not safe for mob

[–]Stumblin_McBumblin 13 points14 points ago

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If I donned this little contraption it would resemble a dozen rolls that were beginning to rise in the oven.

[–]kittypoopappledrink 105 points106 points ago

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[–]wulululululuu 51 points52 points ago

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Somehow, "all up-ons" has snuck into my regular vocabulary.

[–]ForgettableUsername 3 points4 points ago

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Me too. But nobody gets the reference and people keep thinking I'm having a stroke.

[–]thisissamsaxton 29 points30 points ago

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[–]Gozdilla 37 points38 points ago

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[–]guinness_blaine 20 points21 points ago

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"Don't you need pecs?"

"Don't need'em"

[–]rudegrrl 2 points3 points ago

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"That's why they call me Double A. ALL ABS."

[–][deleted] 16 points17 points ago

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I was hoping this would be posted. Memories...

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points ago

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First thing I thought of was the ab-dabber. Don't mind me while I put my glass down on my Strong Bad coaster to pocket my keys with the Homestar rubber... keything.

[–]LordQuizar 4 points5 points ago

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"Fob"

[–]XYY 2 points3 points ago

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[–]Astrixtc 9 points10 points ago

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That was the first thing I thought of.

[–]barfolomew 2 points3 points ago

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Are those guys still making money from that stuff? Yeesh.

[–]linds360 26 points27 points ago

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I'm a chick and I dig Jeff.

[–]LuxNocte 36 points37 points ago

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Nice try, Jeff.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]ForgettableUsername 1 point2 points ago

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Ice cube tray.

[–]not_sure_if_upvote 34 points35 points ago

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60% of the time it works every time

[–]justflyakite 13 points14 points ago

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[–]ReducedFat 4 points5 points ago

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Yeah...I think I saw this yesterday too..

[–]ProZaKk 2 points3 points ago

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Oh no! It's a cross post!

[–]rabidbot 2 points3 points ago

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I didn't, and obviously a lot of people didn't

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

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K so it gives you waffle belly. I can get the same effect on the back of my thighs when wearing shorts on patio furniture.

[–]Scarlet- 5 points6 points ago

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If woman can wear cami secret tops I can wear instant 6-pack!

[–]karmagedon 0 points1 point ago

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Now you're getting it.

[–]Sirtet 4 points5 points ago

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[–]harumpf 4 points5 points ago

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NSFW

If you work at Ferrari.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

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hehe. Some people will do anything to look like they are healthy and athletic - except be healthy and athletic.

[–]pimpnose 3 points4 points ago

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All I can picture is someone squeezing playdoh out of a tube....

[–]Paravail 2 points3 points ago

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I still prefer the Ab-Abber 2000.

[–]froderick 4 points5 points ago

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Uh.. is this actually a thing?

[–]LuxNocte 2 points3 points ago

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I've always been an advocate of the self immolation method of weight loss. Most of the body's unsightly fat is contained in what I like to call the "mortal coil". Shuffle off that, and you'll be a svelte, sexy spirit in no time!

[–]btits 6 points7 points ago

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I feel like i could home make one of these out of the plastic soda can rings

[–]mexicodoug 0 points1 point ago

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I bet it would be more comfortable, and the babes would be charmed by your sense of humor when you stripped to the waist.

[–]ProbablyHittingOnYou 6 points7 points ago

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Now I'll look great at the beach!

[–]bythog 5 points6 points ago

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I think you'd look great at the beach, anyway.

wink

[–]finkalicious 5 points6 points ago

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Now you can spend less time in the gym and more time being a douchebag!

[–]khalid066 29 points30 points ago

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ಠ_ಠ

[–]ThatsItGuysShowsOver 15 points16 points ago

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Chicks dig it, bro!

[–]fabioakio 9 points10 points ago

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"Jeff" said it, so it must be true!

[–]iul 2 points3 points ago

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"recommended by pseudo athletes" :))

[–]Spengebab 2 points3 points ago

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Haha, how's the quote...

"Recommended by pseudo-athletes.

"I couldn't believe how effective the Ab-hancer was, chicks dig it" -Jeff"

Who's Jeff? I don't even?

[–]sheep1e 0 points1 point ago

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Who's Jeff? Jeff is a pseudo-athlete, duh.

[–]EvanConover 2 points3 points ago

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In case anyone is wondering what a good REAL ab workout looks like: http://www.beginnertriathlete.com/cms/article-detail.asp?articleid=486

[–]Malquiem 0 points1 point ago

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Damn, I wouldn't be able to move for about two weeks after that. Hardcore.

[–]blackfrankwhite 2 points3 points ago

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I couldn't believe how effective the ab-hancer was, chicks dig it.

-Jeff

[–]canofunk 2 points3 points ago

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Cheaper than surgery...

[–]nervs 2 points3 points ago

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But pain can persist for days afterward. Swelling can last for weeks or even months. (The after picture was taken a little over a year after the surgery.) And there can be complications, such as infection and bleeding.

Sign me up

[–]atheist_creationist 0 points1 point ago

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Wow. That just looks fucking bad. 7 grand down the drain.

[–]autocorrector 2 points3 points ago

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I recommend supplementing this with a pectoral-muscle shaped corset.

[–]LuxNocte 9 points10 points ago

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Stick a potato into your pants and you're good to go!

(Protip: Potato in the front)

[–]wadsworthsucks 2 points3 points ago

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but the potato in the back of the pants is such a good ice breaker!

[–]handrewming 3 points4 points ago

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I think they counted wrong... I see a 12 pack forming. 12 ABS FOR THE PRICE OF 6 XO !?!? WHAT A BARGAIN XD !!!

[–]TargetMeat 1 point2 points ago

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With this devise and my side roll I could pull off the mythical 12 pack

[–]IStillSurf 1 point2 points ago

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E Honda's secret EXPOSED!

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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why have a six pack when you can have a keg

[–]meftw111 1 point2 points ago

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My toaster oven comes with two of these

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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just do some legs raises you lazy bitches

[–]topofthepile 1 point2 points ago

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I need two of them.

[–]bookemdanno 1 point2 points ago

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I wonder if some idiot will be stupid enough to put that on their face, then sue the company for giving them a 6-pack face?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Jeff knows what he's talking about.

[–]cl191 1 point2 points ago

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no deal, it doesn't have the "seen on tv" logo on the box.

[–]Jayjun 1 point2 points ago

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It looks so comfortable. :)

[–]dgoff 1 point2 points ago

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6 second abs

[–]Dognar 1 point2 points ago

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Instant 12 pack.

[–]shepppard 1 point2 points ago

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Shit if this worked on Jeff then it's a must buy. Even Pete said it worked

[–]stoked 1 point2 points ago

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I actually thought it was something meant to squeeze your muscles and somehow give you tighter abs. Hahaha

[–]uguysmakemesick 1 point2 points ago

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just make sure you turn the lights off when you're having sex.

[–]slupo 1 point2 points ago

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Nobody has mentioned this would give you a twelve pack?

[–]Z_T_O 1 point2 points ago

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That's six better.

[–]long_wang_big_balls 1 point2 points ago

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And here I am busting my chops down the gym, how silly of me.

[–]tinkafoo 1 point2 points ago

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Thanks, Jeff!

[–]connundrummer 1 point2 points ago

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WHERE CAN I BUY!

[–]YourMatt 1 point2 points ago

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They need to make this a real product. Gag gift sales would be through the roof.

[–]diggstown 1 point2 points ago

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The keg is genetically superior

[–]YouTouchYourself 0 points1 point ago

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Now you got grills on yo stomach,

bro

[–]whereistehnarwhal 2 points3 points ago

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um .... what is this thing??

[–]TagW 5 points6 points ago

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Looks like his left arm.

[–]eightfivezero 4 points5 points ago

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His arm?

[–]jjudk001 2 points3 points ago

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I thought it was his scrotum.

[–]TruthPicker 1 point2 points ago

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Pussy.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Gut cleavage.

[–]leparsdon 0 points1 point ago

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oh wow, there are just no words

[–]MajSARS 0 points1 point ago

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Like a male 'wonderbra' fake fake fake When their tits fall so will your gut.....hmmm....ironic.

[–]KimJongIlSunglasses 0 points1 point ago

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ABHANCE

[–]spunkypug 0 points1 point ago

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The shirt has to come off sometime!! This is as bad as a toupe.

[–]whitneyd 0 points1 point ago

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As a woman, i have to say this is by far the biggest turn off today thus far.

[–]lnava 0 points1 point ago

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The ladys will be all ab-ons

[–]sellby 0 points1 point ago

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gob would so where that

[–]Douchebox 0 points1 point ago

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If you wore this thing with a slim tee you'd be unstoppable

[–]john2496 0 points1 point ago

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its better than having a one large pack

[–]HyeR 0 points1 point ago

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Is that a ball sack in the lower picture?

[–]scp333 0 points1 point ago

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Haha. "recommended by pseudo athletes"

[–]7aji88 0 points1 point ago

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Would it help man boobs too??

[–]kevehr 0 points1 point ago

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The abb-abber 2000

[–]Tylertron 0 points1 point ago

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Reminds me of the time I drew abs on cardboard, stuck it under my shirt, and showed girls in my class. I think I was in 8th grade at the time. They thought it was funny.

[–]OmeletteEngineer 0 points1 point ago

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Ew.

[–]RatSalad311 0 points1 point ago

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Chicks dig it

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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"Chicks dig it."

ಠ_ಠ

[–]sreddit 0 points1 point ago

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Is this .. real?

[–]serych 0 points1 point ago

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Looks legit.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Why do I see a ball sack?

[–]DrunkMc 0 points1 point ago

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Wonder Bra, meet your match!

[–]Khoops66 0 points1 point ago

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All the downvotes are jealous of his bod

[–]KeiTee 0 points1 point ago

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big big fan of Jeff

[–]TheZenArcher 0 points1 point ago

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The girls will be all up ons!

[–]ironiridis 0 points1 point ago

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I think he's holding that remote control the wrong way.

[–]ccopy 0 points1 point ago

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Looks like a cooking grill.

[–]blackmagic70 0 points1 point ago

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Do you guys not have any sort of regulator for things like this? If you bought this product, and it didn't work - obviously - are you legally allowed to obtain a refund?

[–]rock217 0 points1 point ago

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I hear this guy has a big spleen.

[–]buddhaPIMP 0 points1 point ago

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6 pack with dual tri-lovehandle-pack. goes perfect with my chestwig and crotchless thong

[–]jglab 0 points1 point ago

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I read it as Ab Hacker.

[–]wadsworthsucks 0 points1 point ago

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no. just. . .no.

[–]gtrommer 0 points1 point ago

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Let's go for a typical dude pose. Yeah, boxers watching tv! Chicks dig it.

[–]cyborg_selkie 0 points1 point ago

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Does it come with a fronts piece?

[–]Valerim 0 points1 point ago

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From the people who brought you corseting and foot binding!

[–]HaiEverybody 0 points1 point ago

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best result with combination of exercise and diet

[–]Azonic 0 points1 point ago

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I have no idea how they convinced Wayne Rooney to do this!

[–]cspeed 0 points1 point ago

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It works better if you add heat.

[–]SpermWhale 0 points1 point ago

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If this wouldn't work, I'll track the inventor and smash one on his head.