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582
583

I don't mean to sound slutty... (thehighdefinite.com)

submitted ago by twolf1

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[–]uRprobablyagay 63 points64 points ago

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Gramma, you have a typo in your signature.

[–]Theprefs 11 points12 points ago

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ಠ_ಠ

[–]MinimalistLaughter 4 points5 points ago

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hah

[–]hardc0rebr0 1 point2 points ago

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lo

[–]generalchaoz 1 point2 points ago

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\O

[–]ExperiMental184 2 points3 points ago

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Does Grandpa know about this?

[–]washer 14 points15 points ago

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If this hadn't been embossed, I wouldn't have cared as much. It would've been a good, but not triumphal, post.

I can't look at plain paper anymore. It all has to be embossed. I'm going broke being classy.

[–]clrs 43 points44 points ago

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"Look at that subtle off-white coloring. The tasteful thickness of it. Oh my God, it even has a watermark!"

[–]SirRosie 2 points3 points ago

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Goddammit. You are quicker than I.

[–]Zeebster 0 points1 point ago

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The color is Bone.

[–]Splatterh0use 1 point2 points ago

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But wait. You ain't seen nothin' yet. Raised lettering, pale nimbus... white.

[–]weareallstardust 1 point2 points ago

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Is something wrong, Patrick? You're sweating?

[–]thrush77 0 points1 point ago

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I have never seen this movie, yet I know this quote ... moved to the top of my Netflix queue.

[–]Bloopman55555 8 points9 points ago

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I'm going to use you in all the wrong ways grammar.

[–]HonestAbeRinkin 3 points4 points ago

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I have a standing offer with my son: $1 for every grammar/usage error he spots in public (signs mostly). He's made bank on apostrophe mistakes...

[–]Offtopic_bear 0 points1 point ago*

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That is absolutely awesome. Upvoted for fostering good grammar in your son.

[–]pennerigatepasta 1 point2 points ago

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Pssst...

[–]Offtopic_bear 1 point2 points ago

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Nothing to see here! Move along!

(Thank you good sir)

[–]HonestAbeRinkin 0 points1 point ago

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I'd rather have him a Grammar Nazi than oblivious to proper usage, that's for sure!

[–]Balaur 2 points3 points ago

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The font is especially appealing in that particular setting. Could a font geek tell us the name please?

[–]zerolollipops 0 points1 point ago

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Apparently the name of the font is in Chinese (which the designer doesn't speak), if that helps anyone.

[–]HonestAbeRinkin 0 points1 point ago

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There's an app for that. (Seriously, there is.)

[–]mqduck 2 points3 points ago

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"Please use me whenever you want" implies that I'm at liberty to disregard you whenever I want as well. Sweet freedom!

[–]sonofabitch 7 points8 points ago

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Sincerely, Rules that typically only matter about half of the time; the other half of the time they are purely arbitrary and serve little purpose other than to enable pissy people on the Internet to get bent out of shape

FTFY.

NINJA EDIT: Nothing against your post in specific, but there are many occasions where misusing grammar doesn't create an ambiguity. If the purpose of language is communication, and all interested parties can understand, why worry about the "misuses" that are really just "variations"?

[–]Lampshader 0 points1 point ago

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Yeah, there are many situations where it doesn't make the message ambiguous. However there are some where it inverts the meaning (I'm looking at you, "could care less"). Most grammatical errors just make the reader exert additional time and effort to understand, which could be considered as rudeness on the part of the writer. Also, those little errors that native speakers understand easily can make things very difficult for those less familiar with the language at times.

[–]sonofabitch 0 points1 point ago

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That's fair, definitely. In the 4 or so languages I've tried learning throughout my life, real-world use always comes and kicks me in the ass. For example - Korean - my wife will say something to her parents on the phone and I'll be like "...what the fuck, that wasn't a sentence." She'll say "well, it's...a phrase. It means <x>."

[–]msrMmmmm 0 points1 point ago

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And sometimes new variations are seen as innovations. Thus language changes. There's a reason we don't use old english anymore.

But we're using logic with people who think English is being 'destroyed' by the next generation of English users because the English they use is not the 'perfect' variety they learned. There is only 1 true way to use English for them. Kinda like nazis and their 1 true race.

[–]sonofabitch 0 points1 point ago*

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You had me until Godwin's law reared its ugly head.

I'd agree though. The fury with which some people argue silly language rules is hilarious, especially because even a language like American English has significant dialectical differences. It's like religion - people will argue forever about it, when really it's something that will be impossible to prove in the end.

[–]Doomdoomkittydoom 0 points1 point ago

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Grammar is a fad that has run its course.

[–]tina_ri -1 points0 points ago

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But irregardless of you're message getting across dont you think its a little important?

[–]Please_Disregard 2 points3 points ago

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You're a message.

[–]HonestAbeRinkin 0 points1 point ago

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Didn't you mean 'acrost'???

[–]tina_ri 0 points1 point ago

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I rike you, Abe Rinkin. Guess what my last name actually is.

[–]HonestAbeRinkin 0 points1 point ago

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I rike yous to!

[–]sonofabitch 0 points1 point ago

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In certain situations, sure.

[–]lkbm 5 points6 points ago

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The top line is slanted. This is a problem for me.

[–]hireflame 8 points9 points ago

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It's not. The photograph is taken at an angle. You can even see it going slightly out of focus toward the right.

[–]frankyb89 0 points1 point ago

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Damn. Cannot unsee.

[–]stinkpalm 1 point2 points ago

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I would have done it in Eggshell with Romalian type. What do you think ?

[–]wileycat 2 points3 points ago

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Jesus, that's really super, how'd a nitwit like you get so tasteful?

[–]stinkpalm 0 points1 point ago

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Nice..../hands shake under the table.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Dear Grammar,

I appreciate your hand-set letterpress type! However, I think you can use more effort in your kerning. I am a letterpress buff, and I'd love to see more!

Sincerely, A Typographer Disguised As A Redditor

[–]IHeartSoup 1 point2 points ago

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Soooo I dont haz to use u wen i dun want 2?

[–]REWORD_EVERYTHING 1 point2 points ago

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*Deer

[–]Gobbagu 1 point2 points ago

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For some reason seeing the paper and how it's printed on there made my mouth water.

[–]zmmar007 0 points1 point ago

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Look at that subtle off-white coloring. The tasteful thickness of it. Oh my God, it even has a watermark!

[–]zerolollipops 5 points6 points ago

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Dear Reddit:

A friend of mine is the printer of these things. You can buy them here: http://www.etsy.com/shop/shopsaplingpress?section_id=7914391

Sincerely, Zero.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points ago

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Why are people downvoting this guy?

In the guidelines:

However, please credit the author: Try using Tineye or Google to find the origin of an image and link to the author's site if possible.

[–]zerolollipops 1 point2 points ago

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Upvote for the username!

[–]Tgg161 0 points1 point ago

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These are worth reading. Thanks for the link!

[–]InGordWeTrust 4 points5 points ago

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What Stephen Fry thinks about this...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J7E-aoXLZGY

[–]k11235 0 points1 point ago

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Dear Grammar we need to talk... I met Math she's nice and stable, I mean we knew it wasn't right from the beginning.

Friends? Keith

[–]OldSkoolGamer 0 points1 point ago

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Read that as 'Sincerely, Grandma' - milk shot out of my nose.

[–]crapcrapcrapcrap 0 points1 point ago

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OMG! Double Standard!!!!

Why do we have to call Grammar 'Slutty' if all they want to do is be used?! Isn't Grammar entitled to some using?! Grammar has needs too! Sure, if a guy wanted to be 'used' whenever someone wants they wouldn't be considered slutty, would they?!

[–]pyrebyte 0 points1 point ago

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If you seem too needy and desperate, people will not use you no matter how slutty you are.

[–]kristianur 0 points1 point ago

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Grammar who?

Grammar proper or grammar poor?

[–]damendred 0 points1 point ago

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I always knew Kelsey was easy.

[–]icemonnster 0 points1 point ago

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THIS.

[–]darksider 0 points1 point ago

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Whot 4?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Grammar exists to be broken.

[–]uptwolait 0 points1 point ago

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Thanks for asking, I'm doing good.

[–]uptwolait 0 points1 point ago

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Thanks for asking, I'm doing good.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Sincerely, Grandma.

[–]Milk07 0 points1 point ago

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Not grammically correct.

[–]durnholde 0 points1 point ago

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I wonder if the author knows when to use semicolons.

[–]xwonka 14 points15 points ago

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Considering they used a coordinating conjunction between two independent clauses a semicolon would have been unnecessary.

Or are you just wondering that out loud? Like, "I wonder if the author likes ham sandwiches?"

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]xwonka 0 points1 point ago

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One: You do not need a semicolon if you use a conjunction, as the author did.

Two: Eight days later?

[–]durnholde 0 points1 point ago

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Strunk and White - Elements of Style

I am not addicted to reddit.

[–]xwonka 0 points1 point ago

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God, what edition are you using? Everywhere else I'm looking says not to use it with a conjunction.

Everywhere from "Eats, shoots and leaves" to The Oatmeal.

[–]cat_elliott -2 points-1 points ago

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Do "People" and "World" need to be capitalized?

[–]whiskeytango55 4 points5 points ago

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Yeah, you capitalize the first word and all nouns in a salutation.

[–]dogShit101 0 points1 point ago

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Silican Braile

[–]panders2reddit 0 points1 point ago

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The hipster presentation kept me from upvoting this.

[–]gwynjudd -1 points0 points ago

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She sound's hot

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points ago

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Disapprove, Yoda does.

[–]samwisevimes -4 points-3 points ago

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Dear Grammar, I don't want to sound judgmental, but when you can make up your mind what you want to be. Then I'll use you however you want.

[–]samwisevimes 0 points1 point ago

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really? I guess none of you have had to go from APA to MLA to CMS to Turabian...

[–]nomerde -2 points-1 points ago

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The 1980's called, they want their typewriter back.

[–]DuncanSmart 2 points3 points ago

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1980's would be dot-matrix.

[–][deleted] -4 points-3 points ago*

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Thank goodness, their for a sec, I thought it was going to be a note from my ex-girlfriend, "Good Grammar". That bitch is a Nazi.

[–]MoarPlz -3 points-2 points ago

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fuck off

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