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[–]PointyStick 156 points157 points ago

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Looks to be adapted from Daniel O'Brien's "A Series of Dispatches From Jersey Shore's New Intern".

[–]Hank_fight_Hank 23 points24 points ago

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Thank you for pointing that out. I was reading the review posted by the OP and kept thinking I'd read all of that before but couldn't remember where.

[–]shitfaceddick 13 points14 points ago

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Cool story, Chinaski.

[–]DavidK305 1 point2 points ago

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Never seen jersey shore, but now I wanna see it. They should use that review as a promo

[–]AteBitz 16 points17 points ago

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I actually had a pet named Snooky (German short-haired pointer) as a kid, so this made me kinda chuckle. But it's not her looks that repulses...

[–]ObviouslyLying 110 points111 points ago

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What is wrong with you people!? Snooky is gorgeous!

[–]I_over_exaggerate 34 points35 points ago

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Dude, she is easily the hottest woman on the planet.

[–]ObviouslyLying 30 points31 points ago

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i thought my novelty account was creative until i saw yours!

[–]I_over_exaggerate 40 points41 points ago

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Dude, stop being so modest, your account is like a million times better than mine

[–]KindaOffTopic 9 points10 points ago

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What is your unit of measure?

[–]Disagreed 17 points18 points ago

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I agree.

[–]No_habla_ingles 15 points16 points ago

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Yo tambien.

[–]DisagreesForNoReason 8 points9 points ago

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No, it really isn't.

[–]S_knight 21 points22 points ago

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perhaps you wouldent be downvoted if people read your username, here have an upvote

[–]dontgoatsemebro 9 points10 points ago

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Congratulations, you just validated reddits' evolution of the 'not' joke.

[–]theycallmeryan 2 points3 points ago

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Love the novelty account.

[–]ObviouslyLying 15 points16 points ago

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this might sound odd..but i don't really know what a novelty account is

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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Jersey Shore not being scripted ruined the immersion for me.

[–]somnambulistrex 1 point2 points ago

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I was about to point this out. Good job.

[–]IAmASpy 1 point2 points ago

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Came here to say that if no one had. I mean, DOB has some pretty uniquely phrased jokes. Not easy to plagiarize word for word and not get noticed.

[–][deleted] 54 points55 points ago

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Is there a name for this type of writing yet? It's pretty prevalent on the internet. Over the top similes with a dusting of meme culture and random references. Some of it is pretty creative and it definitely is distinct in it's style at this point. Just wondering if it has a name yet.

[–][deleted] 78 points79 points ago

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nerdrage

[–]indite 13 points14 points ago

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Truthiness

[–]enrosque 18 points19 points ago

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I dunno if there's a name for it, but for early examples look up Seanbaby. I think it's been around since the late 90s.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]pikpikcarrotmon 12 points13 points ago

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I don't know who did it first but Maddox and Seanbaby are masters of the style. Sometimes I feel like they should be the only ones allowed to use it...

[–]enfermerista 2 points3 points ago

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Aw, Seanbaby! There's a blast from the past.

[–]Tech_Itch 1 point2 points ago

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There's also the guys behind Old Man Murray/POE. And Lowtax of course. The style itself is much older than the Internet, I'd wager.

[–]Ortus 5 points6 points ago

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Ripping off maddox?

[–]m__ 1 point2 points ago

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It's similar to Charlie Brooker's style I think.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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I don't think it's particularly new, just in a different form, easier for modern audiences to understand. There's a book called Joseph Andrews which isn't quite in this style, but has a very similar feel and effect to it. It was written in the 18th century if I recall correctly. It's quite a (funny) read. I recommend it to anyone who can slog through centuries-old English.

[–]frenzyboard 1 point2 points ago

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[–]Bill_Kristol 121 points122 points ago

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Maddox from 2001 called, he said he wants his shtick back.

[–]luftmatratze123 4 points5 points ago

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Hey. Maddox lives on.

[–]knullare 5 points6 points ago

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MISSSSSS MADDOXXXX

[–]MrClean75 7 points8 points ago

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The last time I saw Maddox, he was getting owned on Penn and Teller. OWNED!

[–]Tech_Itch 6 points7 points ago

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Without seeing the episode, I have to say that I always thought that (unlike with say, Tucker Max) Maddox's assholery is really a shtick, and he's actually a completely sane person in RL. So I don't see what the point of including him in the Bullshit episode was.

[–]HP_Hovercraft 7 points8 points ago

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I'm pretty sure he's a nice guy, even if his articles are ridiculously asshole-ish. At the peak of his popularity, he took the time to respond to two separate emails I sent and was really cool and down to Earth. That says a lot to me in retrospect, anyway.

[–]MadIgor 28 points29 points ago

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This looks awfully familiar. And by familiar, I mean lifted from Dan O'Brien

http://www.cracked.com/blog/a-series-dispatches-from-jersey-shores-new-intern/

[–]breen-machine 2 points3 points ago

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Correct.

[–]OdwordCollon 4 points5 points ago

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Came here to say that. Enjoy your upvote :D

[–]poopdoodington 3 points4 points ago

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Yup.

[–]elucubra 8 points9 points ago

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Are you certain you know the meaning of the word "astute"?

[–]enrosque 49 points50 points ago

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Meh. Less funny and effective imo because of the first couple lines. He went straight for the cheap shot, attacking a person's appearance. Too easy a target. C+ at best.

[–]crashnburn753 8 points9 points ago

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You should create a novelty account and call it "joke_critic", or something equally similar.

[–]Daesleepr0 18 points19 points ago

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You should make one called, SuggestionBox

[–]WTFisBehindYou 67 points68 points ago

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"MTV has announced that a fourth season will be filmed in Italy to air in late 2011." - wikipedia

Maybe they won't come back

[–]mcphilip 32 points33 points ago

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Berlusconi likes this

[–]Smart75 9 points10 points ago

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Sadly, that's the absolute truth.

[–]WolfPack_VS_Grizzly 24 points25 points ago

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They don't even speak Italian. I honestly think they'll all be murdered there. Snooki won't be punched in the face this time, some lady is just gonna stab her to death.

[–]paulw252 24 points25 points ago

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Most of them aren't even of Italian descent. And yes, when the people of Italy find out that their people are being represented like this in the US the whole cast will be murdered.

[–]stopeatingcars 128 points129 points ago

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Oh awesome, more reasons for Europeans to hate us.

[–]Heiminator 30 points31 points ago

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European here,I actually think that show is hilarious :-)

[–]notanotherpyr0 10 points11 points ago

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I lost a bet so I have to tell you that not all New Jerseyans are anything like that, they are mostly from New York and Connecticut, and not all Italian Americans are like that. Also Snooki isn't Italian American(remember that so you don't lose the same bet).

[–]pikpikcarrotmon 6 points7 points ago

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Most New Jerseyans are from New York and Connecticut?

[–]notanotherpyr0 23 points24 points ago

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No the people from the Jersey Shore are. They are not from New Jersey, they just vacation there during the summer. According to a friend of mine from New Jersey it's like looking at tourists in Disney World and thinking wow people from Orlando really like fanny packs.

[–]poubelle 2 points3 points ago

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Not technically Italian, but she was adopted and brought up in an Italian family.

[–]abagofdicks 18 points19 points ago

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Great ambassadors for our country.

[–]brlito 5 points6 points ago

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They're gonna piss off the wrong mobster's kid or try to pick a fight with a gangster.

[–]more_than_that 5 points6 points ago

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Ah, fuck you

Italy

[–]daleok 2 points3 points ago

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Maybe they will get thrown into Mount Vesuvius.

[–]han320 123 points124 points ago

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Jersey Shore is actually pretty funny. But since Reddit doesn't like it, I guess I'm not supposed to like it.

[–]kranzb2 23 points24 points ago

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Yeah I laugh my ass off at that show and I absolutely hate reality shows, its the first one I have watched since the first Survivor when I was in like 5th grade. The shit these guys say on this show especially The Situation are instant classics.

[–]churchdemo 17 points18 points ago

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Relevant

"We're at this point in our society where we used to go watch an entertainer because the guy was a great juggler, and this guy could juggle eight bowling pins at once, and two chainsaws. Now we go watch a guy who's the worlds fuckin worst juggler, he cant to two balls, its embarrassing. You gatta see how shitty this guy is at juggling..."

[–]jd230 1 point2 points ago

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After Ronnie took all of Sammi's shit and destroyed it, I was chuckling. When she came back and Ronnie immediately starts talking about how they should get back together, and she agrees, I was hooked forever.

[–]Hewhospeaks 11 points12 points ago

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its totally fine to like it - you probably have a different sense of humour to other people on reddit. i watched some when i was bored at my parents flicking through cable and it made me more bored. it was sort've just like watching some ADD kids run around. i flicked around some more and found old seinfeld which i would rather rewatch and get more enjoyment out of... i upvoted though for sharing your opinion

[–]_rand_mcnally_ 9 points10 points ago

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I think it's a good because it's bad type of show.

That's why I watch it. I don't think anyone who wasn't an idiot to begin with would be affected by the show or change their behaviour because of it.

The review in this link was a lot less funny than watching the show thats for sure.

[–]Terrorpede 23 points24 points ago

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It's hilarious. We have a Thursday night party for the new episode.

[–]a2wickedd991 22 points23 points ago

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Jersday.

[–]shenaniganny 1 point2 points ago

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It is funny, but I don't think that was it's original point. Which makes it even funnier, of course.

[–]fatshiteater 6 points7 points ago

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The show is great. No one on the show, besides maybe Snooki, actually takes themselves seriously. Pauly D, Vinny, and Mike are all pretty funny dudes.

[–]gdpt 23 points24 points ago

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I watch it and I am a Redditor. I also have sex quite often. Not that those two are related in any way.

[–]Culero 12 points13 points ago

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I bet they're all grenades! haha--I've said too much! D:

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points ago

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I'm guessing most people haven't even watched a minute of it to judge it.

[–]imatwrk 11 points12 points ago

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Haters gonna hate. If you find the show annoying, this type of humor isn't for you.

[–]notic4lyf 9 points10 points ago

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When I read shit like this I feel like it reflects way more poorly on the people of Reddit than it does on the so-called idiots of the Jersey Shore. If you honestly hate the show that much and are still talking about then the joke is really on you.

[–]cold12 1 point2 points ago

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Me and my girlfriend watch it every Thursday and love it.

[–]Anon_is_a_Meme 14 points15 points ago

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Jersey Shore should be narrated by David Attenborough.

[–]Snowspot 131 points132 points ago

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Jersey Shore is hilarious, I don't understand how you can't watch and just laugh? They act like kids on the show but that's the charm.

[–]melikeybacon 82 points83 points ago

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I once hated this show and its cast as much as the next person, but I've come to accept it as entertainment. You just have to find a way to not take it seriously.

It's a really hilarious show...T-Shirt TIME !!!!!

[–]ricktencity 61 points62 points ago

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Cahbs ah heeah!

[–]r4nf 20 points21 points ago

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Oh yeah! Wake up, yeah!

[–]melikeybacon 22 points23 points ago

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Snitchuation!!!

[–]docstar 13 points14 points ago

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YEEE BUDDY!

[–]garistotle23 11 points12 points ago

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OYEAH!

[–]knullare 19 points20 points ago

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GRENADE WHISTLE!

[–]Purple_Cobra 10 points11 points ago

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GYM, TAN, I'M NOT BUYIN' IT

[–]doomgoblin 1 point2 points ago

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Bitch was saying he was just a friend! Only thing is i thought they werent allowed to have cell phones or tvs?

[–]cold12 7 points8 points ago

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Ronnie lookalike was the best thing ever.

[–]TmanV 5 points6 points ago

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My girlfriend loves it, and I have refused to watch it with her. But sometimes she'll put it on and I can't help but laugh at some of the shit they're doing. Not like I was doing the brightest things when I got shitfaced at that age.

[–]for_the_record 1 point2 points ago

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The whole point of broadcast entertainment (even live theater) is meant so that we can live vicariously through others. I think most of us, but not all, watch the show to live vicariously through their ridiculous drama that we don't have to deal with outside of watching. These are not things most normal, civilized people do, and that's why it's interesting.

[–]Purple_Cobra 23 points24 points ago

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I think people take it way too seriously. I can't get enough of that show, and it really bugs me when people make crazy generalizations about it indicating the downfall of the US or of society or whatever. There's a highly-upvoted comment above that says "Oh awesome, more reasons for Europeans to hate us" in response to them shooting the next season in Italy. Really? Is it that hard to tell that the vast majority of it is acting and for entertainment? Am I in the minority in that I've never actually witnessed anyone act nearly as ridiculously as they do on the show?

[–]LilMinx 4 points5 points ago

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Have you ever met any Guidos from Staten Island, Long Island, Astoria, Sheapshead Bay, or NJ before?

They are here; they are tanned; and they are armed with the sticky sort of hair gel!

[–]KingKane 11 points12 points ago

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Upvoted for logic and reason in a circlejerk thread.

[–]mebizzle 1 point2 points ago

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Honestly, it is all fun and games, but the rest of the world seriously does look down on us for this kind of shit. Granted, it's a predisposition for a lot of people that allows them to assume wrongly, but it still isn't helping.

[–]jasond33r 1 point2 points ago

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I work with a guy who spent some time around these people before the show and unfortunately, yes, they really did act like this before there were cameras.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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People who fill their extra time with these types of shows doesnt necessarily mean youll act this way, though it does increase that possibility. It means you may rather fill your mind with hollow information. Why not watch linktv? Why not watch a documentary or show on how your food is made/treated? When you fill your spare time with content that doesn't improve your intellect or your understanding of the world/countries around you (like how much trash is affecting the ocean and how to alter related bad habits, the corruption of our government through cases like citizens united vs. the FEC, infection of greed in most industries) you are acting unintelligently and also adding to the problems all around you. Although its hard to get irrate, as were all products of our environments. But when the majority of most popular content is as unintelligent(and distracting) as it is, it's easier to realize why the world is the way it is.

Thus the "...loss in faith for humanity" is written in the review. Tho the attack on appearance is cheap.

[–]Yargyarg 1 point2 points ago

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The funny thing is that the cast doesn't even take themselves seriously, they're always making fun of their own accents, joking about their silly acronyms, and teasing each other about stuff like taking a long time on their hair or face. I think the people that don't like the show the most are the bitter people that get angry when they see other people having fun.

[–]Strijdhagen 2 points3 points ago

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I agree, its very entertaining to watch, you just have to pretend that they're actors!

[–]PillowMonster 1 point2 points ago

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Spot on,

I can't stand the snobs who act like they hate the way they behave and refuse to watch because of it. Even worse are the ones who've never seen the show and jump on the bandwagon to slag it off.

Whilst their actions don't mirror my own, it's undeniably (or was) one of the most entertaining shows on television.

[–]Deutscher_Aggie 6 points7 points ago

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Stolen from Cracked.

[–]gweeds 7 points8 points ago

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I wish to pitch to MTV that they put me on the show. I am a socially inept 27 year old, overweight, irish looking dude... with onset balding. I would essentially sit in the corner of the house and shake my head... much like Lee Trevino in "Happy Gilmore".

[–]k4osth3ory 2 points3 points ago

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not that i watch the show, but you can hate on the people on the show, but they are laughing their way to the bank

[–]zerbey 2 points3 points ago

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I've watched a couple of episodes, and I found the show irritating in the extreme, but I suspect like all other reality shows the "reality" is created by clever editing. I have the option to not watch it, and I'm using it!

[–]BeSsen 6 points7 points ago

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This show is not as bad as some might want you to believe. MTV has had far worse shows like Next or Super Sweet 16.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

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Super Sweet 16 is everything that's wrong with humanity.

[–]samsf90 6 points7 points ago

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My friend's dad owns a couple clubs. I actually got a chance to meet the Situation at one of them. He's actually a down to earth guy. This reviewer, like everyone else, is falling for the act. There's a difference between reality and fantasy.

Sure, the show is trash, and I have only bothered to watch a couple episodes (which I thought were funny but not really woth while), but making arguments against the show ad hominem is ridiculous, especially when you're just attacking the characters that they play.

[–]guymandude 397 points398 points ago

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That's BS sounds like this guy didn't even watch this show and just relied on stuff he read o the internet to write it. I actually occasionally watch the show and even though I don't condone their lifestyle, nor would I ever lead a life like that, I cannot say that I think most of them are bad people. They seem like they genuinely care about each other (some of them). While there is a lot of high school type drama ,there is nothing really worse than that. It is just basically drunken fun, and shallow sex. Nothing more, nothing less. Jersey Shore is nothing like what most people make it out to be, it is just an easy target and saying that this show made you lose faith in humanity is, quite frankly, really stupid. I am not ashamed to say that I would definitely be friends with most of them people on that show.

[–]boomHeadSh0t 46 points47 points ago

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You lost me at "I am not ashamed to say that I would definitely be friends with most of them people on that show."

[–]Hank_fight_Hank 261 points262 points ago

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I had to upvote you for the being the only person I've ever seen to defend the wholesale, amplified douchebaggery that is The Jersey Shore.

[–]illusiveab 112 points113 points ago

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Jersey Shore really is the epitome of a complete denial of human intellectuality and maturity. It's everything that our generation doesn't need in constructing the future of rationality.

[–]Laocoon 28 points29 points ago

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How is it any worse than literally almost any other reality tv show? At least its entertaining in its absurdity.

[–]oldjoe 2 points3 points ago

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I really like the way you put that. "Entertaining its absurdity."

[–]SoloJones 1 point2 points ago

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Being better than other shit doesn't stop shit from being shit.

[–]asoap 7 points8 points ago

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Jersey Shore really is the epitome of a complete denial of human intellectuality and maturity. It's everything that our generation doesn't need in constructing the future of rationality.

Question: Do you feel superior to the people on Jersey Shore?

[–]gottaleavethisfarm 14 points15 points ago

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Our generation needs even less of your pseudo-intellectual bullshit. "Constructing the future of rationality"? At least the douchebaggery on the show has comedic value.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]guymandude 1 point2 points ago

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I agree 100%. The review is very funny although not really based on fact or fair.

[–]nilshasskills 9 points10 points ago

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THANK YOU. If you've never actually watched the show, you only see these people at their absolute worst, from the shit you see on the internet. Through watching the show, they become humanized and you can even identify with them. I wouldn't say they're great people, they're shallow, vain, and sometimes a little stupid, but hey man, it was a lazy Sunday and I kinda got wrapped up in it, and Vinny is just too cute and hilarious to hate.

[–]hooplah 2 points3 points ago

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Vinny is so adorable. I have a huge crush on him.

[–]phyre_fiend 99 points100 points ago

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People who hate on Jersey Shore need to watch it for what it is, entertainment.

[–]tokington 110 points111 points ago*

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I think the show is hilarious. Using a vuvuzela as a "grenade whistle" is comedy gold. Guilty pleasure or not, the show can be fun to watch.

[–]ProfessorLX 38 points39 points ago*

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the best was when vinny was blowing the grenade whistle and mike was mid convo inside the house.. he's like 'wait girls shhhh' my wife and i cracked up so damn hard... that was actually hilarious..

in general i find the show to be quite funny, the dumb shit they do and say is purely entertainment and is very enjoyable if taken that way.

for those who want to see (sorry bout the quality): the grenade whistle

[–]the_realist 20 points21 points ago

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His facial expression when he first heard it was priceless.

[–]ProfessorLX 9 points10 points ago

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def. one of my favorite moments from the show.

[–]Track1 1 point2 points ago

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Link please?

[–]Inlawjosiewales 58 points59 points ago

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Also citing a female lead character's facial features as the primary grudge seems like a pretty weak criticism. There are plenty of good shows with female leads who aren't Barbie, what a piss poor review.

[–]Moregunsthanpatience 22 points23 points ago

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Yeah, people watched Sex in City.

[–]jpmezart 38 points39 points ago

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is that the russian version of sex and the city?

[–]Moregunsthanpatience 30 points31 points ago

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Yes, takes place in Moscow. Is sexiest city.

[–]jpmezart 13 points14 points ago

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CITY IS FINE

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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[–]the_realist 6 points7 points ago

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But he said female leads, not equine leads.

[–]Kale 2 points3 points ago

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Equines are not sexless. They are also Male and Female.

[–]ADangerousMan 6 points7 points ago

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honestly, I thought I hated the show until I watched it. I then found out it was hilarious.

[–]hooplah 5 points6 points ago

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Agreed, completely. One of my professors is pretty famous in our area of study's circles around the country and has served as dean of various prestigious schools, but we still bond over a love of shows like Jersey Shore. You have to suspend your critical eye sometimes and just enjoy. Some people take life too seriously all of the time.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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Half of the entertainment is the douchebaggery....

[–]Schmangeetay 7 points8 points ago

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If this is entertainment, I would rather be bored.

[–]josefjohann 1 point2 points ago

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I think a show that is bad enough to channel your hatred, and even perhaps moral outrage is giving you a chance to become closer with your own sense of humanity and purpose. Which I think is probably more validating and life-affirming than trying to be entertained by it.

[–]wickedsteve 1 point2 points ago

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I have to admit Jersey Shore got a few laughs out of me. But I feel stupider after watching it.

[–]newtointernet 20 points21 points ago

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i'll defend the show too, but i'd stop short on saying i would be friends with most of them lol

maybe pauly (the one with the crazy hair)

[–]hobes88 16 points17 points ago

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I'd love to have their lives, they make so much money just for having fun, drinking and being on holiday.

[–]WolfPack_VS_Grizzly 10 points11 points ago

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Be friends with? Maybe Vinny and Pauly, but that's about it. They seem to be the only people on that show with half a brain.

I just wanna fuck Ronnie's brains out. Call him stupid, call him a juicer, whatever. He's got a rockin' body and I won't have to hear him talk when his face is shoved into a pillow, anyway.

[–]Yelly 9 points10 points ago

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I think Vinny was in school to be a lawyer before this whole reality show blew up.

And Snookie was training to be a veterinarian.

I think they play up the dumb stuff because it sells.

[–]guymandude 6 points7 points ago

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Ya Vinnie is a really smart guy. I could be wrong but I heard somewhere that he was thinking of going to an Ivy league law school. And it's amazing that reddit hates Snookie so much since she loves animals and takes care of them for a living.

[–]guymandude 8 points9 points ago

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I think a lot of them are smarter than people give them credit for. They are just not book smart. Also they are drunk more than not so it's tough to show an intellectual side when you are in the club and drunk most of the time.

[–]WolfPack_VS_Grizzly 10 points11 points ago*

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You have a point. They all seem like they're genuine and caring people. (Except for Mike, I kind of want to kick him in the teeth. And I don't count Sam or Angelina because they're cunts, and they're gone.) You don't really see them shit-talking behind each other's backs. The reason they seem like such violent people is because all conflicts all brought out instantly, fought over and then settled. They just all have a lot of issues, so they fight a lot.

I'll have to retract my previous statement and say, yeah, I'd be friend with a lot of them too. Vinny and Pauly are sweet guys that just want everyone to get along. Ronnie is also a nice guy with a big heart, even if he's not the brightest, but he has no balls and I'd hoped he'd get them back once Sam left, but he didn't. Snooki is that likable girl in high-school that everyone called a nymphomaniac. And Deena is her best friend of the same nature. I like them both. Jenny is a girl that I'd kick it with. She's honestly a nice person and actually pretty smart, and she just plane won't take your shit. She cares about her friends and family and the only time you ever really see her lash out, is when someone is slandering someone she cares about, even if it's another person she cares about. I love that the only thing she asks for for from anyone is respect.

Regardless, if they go to Italy and call themselves Italian, they're gonna have their faces buried in pillows and shot.

[–]guymandude 5 points6 points ago

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Haha well at least I convinced one person. But yea like you said they all seem like sweet, caring people underneath their "Jersey Shore personas", except for Angelina. Angelina is just a bitch. Also I'm not a fan of Deena and Sammie but I don't think they are bad people.

I don't think they will have too much trouble in Italy. There are a lot of douchebags in Italy too. I just think that if they are around other people that like to drink and party that they will get along because party people usually get along pretty well.

[–]WolfPack_VS_Grizzly 2 points3 points ago

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True. I'd love to party with them, sometime. But I'm not your normal healthy-eating, weed-smoking, gym-going, college-schooling, 23-year-old Redditor, either.

[–]pondercat 4 points5 points ago

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Thank you!!! :) I think Jenni's a really sweet girl, I feel the exact same way about her. But nobody ever understands that when I try to tell them, they're all like "Blagh, it's Jersey Shore, there can't be any likeable person on that show", and I was starting to worry I'd just been brainwashed into thinking there are actually nice people there on that show. So thank you for making me feel less alone. :D

[–]WolfPack_VS_Grizzly 4 points5 points ago

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I feel like there aren't enough people in the world that are actually willing to give something (anything) more than just a chance.

[–]Superfishul 16 points17 points ago*

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I really enjoy Jersey Shore. I enjoy watching the interactions between the roommates and the drama that unfolds and how they react/deal with the drama. Here are some of my thoughts on the characters:

Mike "The Situation" - Arrogant, conceited, outgoing, loves to be the center of attention, wants to be the alpha dog all the time. Even though he wants to be the alpha dog, he is hesitant to get in physical confrontations and knows when to use diplomacy. When he is not being a douchebag (trying to steal his roommates' girls in the club and playing pranks) he can be pretty funny. Terrible wingman. Love him or hate him, this guy might be the heart of the show.

Ronnie - This dude is more the quiet kind of type, but he knows how to laugh and have fun. He is the alpha dog in the house, because he is built like a fucking gorilla and could probably fuck up any of the guys in the house including The Situation. If you talk smack to this guy, it might be lights out for you.

Vinny - This guy might be the smartest one in the house. He is thoughtful, and even though he could get Snookie's cookie whenever he wants, he knows that would fuck up their friendship and fuck Snookie up emotionally because he doesn't think of her as girlfriend material.

Pauly - This guy can be a goofball and random. The Situation and Pauly might be the two funniest characters on the show. He is energetic, and willing to throw down for his boys. He wants to be friends with everyone, and everyone considers him their boy. Him and Vinny are true bros on the show. He is a great wingman.

Sammy - Ron's girlfriend. Prettiest girl in the house. Seems like the kind of girl that always needs a guy in her life. Got in two catfights with Jenny. Even though she's a pretty girl, she can hold her own.

Jenny - She is a tough bitch. She knows kung fu (well maybe not kung fu, but some other martial art). She has fake boobs. She likes cute things (her dogs and Snookie).

Snookie - She wants to be loved by everyone. She is childish in many ways (her height, the way she acts, the way she needs to be loved, etc.). She has a bubbly personality.

Deena - One of Snookie's best friends. She is the new roommate on the show (replacing Angelina). She is the same size as Snookie, with a similar personality.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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IMO Jenny, Pauly and Mike are smarter than Vinny. I think Vinny doesn't want to fuck Snookie because he can do better. He is nationally famous and can go out to the club and get beautiful women.

In some ways Ron is the alpha dog but in some ways not. I think he's the least thoughtful in the house and is abusive to his girlfriend.

Your analysis of mike is good.

[–]Radank 8 points9 points ago

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I couldn't agree more. I've watched the show a few times and it's harmless fun. I've only come to dislike The Situation (or is it "The Sitch", still?) because of his apparent lack of perception over his bombing at the Trump Roast. As far as I go, you can fuck up TV, but you do not fuck stand-up comedy up and have such an obvious lack of humility afterwards.

[–]guymandude 4 points5 points ago

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I dislike Sammie and Deena the most. Mike annoys me with some of his shit but I have to give him props because I think he is the only one on the show that knows how to take care of a house/ cook. All the others mostly live like animals, and that comes from a college student.

[–]Sember 39 points40 points ago

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Well that's your opinion, and my opinion is fuck jersey shore

[–]guymandude 40 points41 points ago

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That's fine because no one is forcing you to watch it. If you feel that way about it I would also expect you to not talk about it too much.

[–]savutano 7 points8 points ago

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I fuckin love Pauly D. He's always happy and never a douche towards anyone. Someone I could definitely hang out with.

[–]guymandude 5 points6 points ago

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That's what I'm saying! He's a fun guy and doesn't take himself seriously and has a good sense of humor. Why wouldn't you want to be friends with someone like him?

[–]Hewhospeaks 4 points5 points ago

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it would be alright if people watched it as a joke, but i assume there are kids out there who look up to these people as rolemodels and think that there shallow point of view is how they should act.

[–]purple_bottle 1 point2 points ago

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I think Jersey Shore is doing a great service for our generation. It's actually pointing out what a life of total excess actually is. There's a lot of nerd rage pointed at Jersey Shore because it seems like the viewers are condoning that lifestyle or wishing for it themselves. No one actually wants to be these people, and no one looks up to these people. If there's someone who actually does want to be The Situation, they're a total moron and have missed the point anyways.

The cast members are overblown caricatures of themselves, the women are repulsive, and the men serious ego issues (borderline mental illness I would say). Yes it is filtered through the cultural wasteland that is MTV, but I feel like Jersey Shore is an important examination of a doomed subculture.

[–]guymandude 2 points3 points ago

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I don't know if I agree with most of what you said. The only man with ego problems on that show is Mike. And calling it bordering on mental illness is a gross exaggeration.

[–]siyengar 1 point2 points ago

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Nancy Franklin: "Our ability to take any pleasure, or even interest, in shows like this—in which participants are depicted as energetic but essentially aimless, oblivious of their own deficits, and delusional about their attractiveness and their importance in the world—hinges not on our ability to identify with them but on our ability to distinguish ourselves from them."

[–]EByrne 1 point2 points ago

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Agreed, Jersey Shore stupidly entertaining (think of it as an anthropology show, or something). On top of that, I'm not even ashamed to admit that Vinny and Paulie both seem like pretty decent guys that I'd probably be friends with if I knew them.

[–]RE90 1 point2 points ago

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I would kill to bro it out with Pauly D

[–]PunkRockMakesMeSmile 18 points19 points ago

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Anyone else finally get around to watching a few episodes only to find that this cast isn't really remarkably more retarded or obnoxious than most of the rest of the country? I'd rather be on the Jersey Shore than in the bible belt, or anywhere between Colorado and Cali. Pretend to be disgusted if you want but you would fuck every one of those girls, and so would I.

[–]doomgoblin 13 points14 points ago

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Sammy and Jenny (Jwoww) yes. The two meatballs? no way.

[–]waldron76 2 points3 points ago

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Reminds me of Stewart Lee's description of Big Brother as "the phenomena of some twats in a place."

[–]bluntz 2 points3 points ago

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either way, he watches Jersey Shore

[–]BIRDMIND 2 points3 points ago

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I watch this show every week and yet I cannot agree more with this review. I think that's most of the reason why I can't stop watching.

[–]guisar 2 points3 points ago

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I guess, he still rented the thing.

[–]zaccus 2 points3 points ago

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That some dudes think Snooki is hot just blows my mind. She looks like a walking cold sore.

[–]MustWarn0thers 10 points11 points ago

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Pauly and Vinnie actually seem like genuinely likable individuals at their core. Other than that, it's pretty shallow television, but who am I to judge a group of people getting paid lots of money to fuck around and be idiots for a living.

I'd trade up in a heartbeat.

[–]henryk 7 points8 points ago

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Is it supposed to be ironic that the guy writing the review left out about eight or so apostrophes? The difference between "you're" and "youre" isn't really that hard to get right.

[–]evanm5 9 points10 points ago

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Drop the "The", just Jersey Shore.

[–]angrynarwhal 18 points19 points ago

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A million dollars isn't cool, you know what IS cool?

[–]BohmaJenkins 6 points7 points ago

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NSync

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points ago

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Breaking: Pompous Ass Doesn't Know What He's Talking About

[–]bancan 11 points12 points ago

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I really like Jersey Shore. They are living their life the way they feel like and its good entertainment. Some of the shit they do is absolutely hilarious. Reddit needs to get of its high horse stop pretending like the only right opinion is theirs.

[–]doomgoblin 10 points11 points ago

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I think the show is hilarious as well. It was originally made to be ironic, like My Super Sweet 16, so the audience would laugh at the cast, but it turned out to be fucking hilarious.

[–]conoresque 16 points17 points ago

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Jersey Shore is fine reality television programming. Them being famous does not affect us in anyway. They are not stealing a job, or money, from me. Also, everyone is watching Jersey Shore for the wrong reasons.

[–]I_Nickd_it 9 points10 points ago

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In my opinion it is one of the best shows on TV because it is so stupid/bad/car-crash-tv.

I love it! It gives me a great laugh and I get to feel better about myself after watching how retarded some people can be.

[–]jujicakes 7 points8 points ago

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They're making all the choices that I'm too smart to make.

[–]I_Nickd_it 4 points5 points ago

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Exactly. It's almost as if you can live an alternative retarded lifestyle through them without any of it affecting you directly. ;)

[–]ImCrabby 3 points4 points ago

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Whenever I hear something about Jersey Shore that makes me think, "what a stupid show full of retards", I remember that the Situation makes more money in a year than I will during my entire life.

[–]scatr99 3 points4 points ago

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STOP LIKING WHAT I DON'T LIKE

[–][deleted] 15 points16 points ago

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That dude is pretty angry about a TV show. Lost faith in humanity? Really? How dramatic.

[–]tovarish22 17 points18 points ago

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It's called hyperbole. Pretty common literary technique.

[–]porn_flakes 7 points8 points ago

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In spite of any sort of pride or dignity I may possess or any sort of taste I think I have...I must say that I would totally fuck Snooki.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

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Wow. I have never seen the Jersey Shore but I am now somehow overwhelmed with a desire to watch it. Can it really be this good (read: bad)?

[–]ninjafartee 1 point2 points ago

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Bret Easton Ellis wrote the most astute review ever of The Jersey Shore, it was in Playboy a few months ago.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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I love the Jersey Shore it's funny.Ron 4 Sammi Sweetheart 4evvva! xxxx

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Holland did a rip-off of this show which is relatively even more popular than Jersey Shore is in the US. Watch the opening sequence and see for yourself the Dutch equivalent of Snooki and The Situation ;)

[–]SLOWchildrenplaying 1 point2 points ago

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Jersey Shore is the worst thing to have happened to the east coast since 9/11

[–]Dr_Magnificent 1 point2 points ago

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Heh heh heh... Ass-toot...

[–]KingOfAllBlacks 1 point2 points ago

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it is quality television entertainment,

[–]burf 1 point2 points ago

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I understand that Jersey Shore is garbage entertainment, but from what I've seen they're just less-than-scholarly people who party a lot and look/act a little unclassy; it might not be something to aspire to, but the people who say it's the low point of humanity is pretty fucking stupid, in my opinion.

[–]savethemooses 1 point2 points ago

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I wish David Foster Wallace were still around to write an essay about Jersey Shore. It would be transcendent.