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515
516

Disregard females, acquire calculus (29.media.tumblr.com)

submitted ago by lolocoster

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[–]PARSLEYsage 30 points31 points ago

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Disregard females -> acquire calculus -> acquire income -> acquire females.

[–]farceur318 5 points6 points ago

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But...but you had to have had them in the first place in order to disregard them...

[–]PARSLEYsage 9 points10 points ago

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When you were a kid, eating Lucky Charms, did you ever eat all the grain bits first so you could have a straight marshmallow soup toward the end? It's kind of like that.

[–]ihateyourface 0 points1 point ago

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Actually, i extracted the marshmallows and left the grain behind. then i made a marshmellow soup yyeeaaaahhh!

[–]Luminaire 13 points14 points ago

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What you don't know is those are his sisters.

[–]catsrus12 16 points17 points ago

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Even hotter.

[–]jamescagney 44 points45 points ago

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The jokes on you. There's a third woman. That's his vinegar face.

[–]Varront 3 points4 points ago

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Or the first man.

[–]dwhitey724 3 points4 points ago

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Vinegar strokes.

FTFY

[–]Bluekross 0 points1 point ago

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Upboat for The League reference.

[–]bulletproofchimp 0 points1 point ago

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I wait eagerly for the next football season......[steeples fingers]

"Cuz I am literally going to sodomize you on the battlefield! I'm going to have nonconsensual sex with your face and butt."

[–]bldl 0 points1 point ago

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He's not disgusted; he just came.

[–]Platypuskeeper 7 points8 points ago

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Learn chemistry, acquire females.

That's Lavosier and his wife/lab-assistant/fanzine editor Marie-Anne Pierrette Paulze .

He discovered the law of conservation of mass. Bitches love mass.

[–]clgt360 3 points4 points ago

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http://i.imgur.com/jD166.jpg

[–]theJAW 0 points1 point ago

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Insert obligatory penis jokes.

(Lol, "insert penis")

[–]Bloopman55555 0 points1 point ago

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I HAVE MASS! Bitches love me.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]Transceiver 15 points16 points ago

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Thanks, I have the same ones :)

But seriously, no make-outs until after my math exam.

[–]the_cereal_killer 2 points3 points ago

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why did you thank him? it's not like...eh - why do i even bother.

[–]Bloopman55555 7 points8 points ago

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YOU! You killed Captain Crunch!

[–]lupin96 1 point2 points ago

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heartless bastard !

[–]the_cereal_killer 0 points1 point ago

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muahahaha! my diabolic laughter tells you that indeed, my diabolic plan to kill your beloved captain crunch succeeded.

[–]englishred 14 points15 points ago

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Look you'd be the same way if you had a dad that would kung-fu you through a wall if you didn't get a ten on your math homework.

[–]Bloopman55555 10 points11 points ago

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Plus his teacher's scale only goes up to five, so he has to put a lot of time into it.

[–]lupin96 0 points1 point ago

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it's math.

[–]Bloopman55555 0 points1 point ago

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Yeah, making it REALLY hard to get that many bonus points. XD

[–]lupin96 0 points1 point ago

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that's the joke

[–]Bloopman55555 0 points1 point ago

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It was my joke too. o.o

[–]lupin96 0 points1 point ago

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sorry, since nobody uses "XD" anymore, i thought it was sarcastic.

[–]lupin96 0 points1 point ago

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sorry, since nobody uses "XD" anymore, i thought it was sarcastic.

[–]Bloopman55555 0 points1 point ago

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I use 'XD' ... >_> Don't be hatin' on mah facin'.

[–]Anon502 17 points18 points ago

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This man is truly putting Descartes before the whores.

[–]Dstanding 0 points1 point ago

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I am going to use this in the future as if I thought of it.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points ago

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Why does shit like this not happen to me?!

[–]original_gamgee 11 points12 points ago

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You finished your math homework.

[–]15june 1 point2 points ago

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don't finish your homework

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points ago

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go to japan

[–]dastly75 1 point2 points ago

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Nice try Earthquake

[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points ago

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you mean God

[–]AwkwardJoe 5 points6 points ago

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one is pitching his nipple the other is sucking his nipple.... do some cultures put more focus on man's nipples during foreplay or have i just been only with some ungrateful/selfish bit--s er?!

[–]Searth 6 points7 points ago

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Seeing how he doesn't like it and they somehow do I think they're teasing/bullying him.

[–]KMFDM781 14 points15 points ago

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I wish I was bullied like that.

[–]YouCantMissTheBear 4 points5 points ago

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Yup, Jason Statham can't get off without some nipple clamps nowadays

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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I see this when watching Japanese porn, but not in American porn. It must be an Asian thing. I always skip past the male nipple licking since it's boring.

[–]altrdgenetics 1 point2 points ago

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I am trying to figure out why they do this to the guys.... I mean I don't get it.

[–]j2sun 3 points4 points ago

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Asian here...i love it when I get my nipples licked and sucked. Maybe we have more sensitive nipples?

[–]altrdgenetics 1 point2 points ago

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possibly... looks like whitey fails at something else

[–]funkengruven88 2 points3 points ago

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As far as I am concerned, orgasm without nipple play is no orgasm at all.

Try it, it will change your world.

[–]78fivealive 0 points1 point ago

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I have noticed this among us Asians.

[–]rhiz0me 15 points16 points ago

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How Redditors think: Asian guy with glasses? Must be doing math.

[–]mikemcg 1 point2 points ago

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The image creator was playing upon a notable stereotype to quickly establish a character for a joke. The joke wouldn't be as too the point and possibly less funny if you had an establishing scene where the kid's doing math.

[–]rhiz0me 2 points3 points ago

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and this is how stereotypes are perpetuated. thanks!

[–]mikemcg 0 points1 point ago

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It's key for improv and short films.

[–]rhiz0me 0 points1 point ago

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ie: carlos mencia

[–]mikemcg -1 points0 points ago

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Not the best example. Think more like Whose Line.

[–]rhiz0me 1 point2 points ago

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nope. carlos mencia is the perfect example. perpetuating stereotypes to try to get people to think he is funny. do you see where i'm going with this? Whose Line rather mocks stereotypes instead of perpetuating them.

[–]mikemcg 0 points1 point ago

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Whose Line doesn't mock them, just used them. Carlos is another game entirely.

[–]rhiz0me 0 points1 point ago

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sir. you are CLEARLY mistaken.

[–]mikemcg 0 points1 point ago

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Nope. It's a common practice to rely on stereotypes to quickly establish a character. Whose Line is guilty of it just as much as Carlos does, but Carlos has no excuse.

[–]nerga 2 points3 points ago

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Oddly enough, I know more asians who are bad at math than the ones who are good at math. But I guess people will use dumb stereotypes no matter what.

[–]mcnublets -2 points-1 points ago

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C- in AP stats right here. YEEE.

[–]Raz_Aquato 1 point2 points ago

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In your defense, Stats isn't really Math :)

[–]LincolnHighwater 11 points12 points ago

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That poor bastard.

[–]bhindblueyes430 2 points3 points ago

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OH GOD LOOK AT HER PINKY!!

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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RAPTOR CLAW

[–]I_Downvoted_Your_Mom 2 points3 points ago

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Double Nguyen for him!

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Ahaha, jokes about vietnam.

[–]tangyteng 1 point2 points ago

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It is scary how much the thumbnail made me think I was photoshopped into that pic.

[–]lvraa 1 point2 points ago

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Why not do some calculations on a "triangle"...3-some... don't nerds see the opportunities in life!?

[–]cykalu 1 point2 points ago

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There is no ladies in that image.

[–]mygoodnessmyguinness 1 point2 points ago

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But if he can''t even take a derivative, he'll never have any hope of lying tangent to her curves, as this article so succinctly points out: http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/science-%26-technology/science-is-fanny-central,-claims-professor-brian-cox-201102033510/

[–]DTwister555 1 point2 points ago

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Are those his sisters?

[–]Shins 1 point2 points ago

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I would watch the dude reluctantly fucks them.

[–]stopeatingcars 1 point2 points ago

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Why are we perpetuating and upvoting stereotypes? C'mon guys.

[–]neilyton 2 points3 points ago

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The title is funnier than the caption in the photo

[–]PsychoWolf 2 points3 points ago

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tell me what is the integration of horney2 ?, baby.

i apologize in advance for this bad joke

[–]StealthSilver 17 points18 points ago

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(1/3)horney3

[–][deleted] 34 points35 points ago

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(1/3)horney3 + Cock

FTFY

[–]StealthSilver 9 points10 points ago

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Oh so that's what the C stands for.

[–]fancy-chips 10 points11 points ago

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the cock constant

[–]DoWhile 15 points16 points ago

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the cockstant

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

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Considering that in the photo he's definitely integrating and not having relations, there is no need for the C in that expression.

[–]PsychoWolf 1 point2 points ago

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HA

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago*

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Furthermore, the local extrema of your pants can be calculated as follows:

F(horney) = horney2

F' (horney) = 2horney

2horney = 0; horney = 0/2

=> horney has no limits

[–]Ace1999 0 points1 point ago

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STFU and sudo make me a sandwich!

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points ago

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Haha, I know what this means now!

[–]YottaDren 0 points1 point ago

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... i finished my math hw

[–]andrethegiant 0 points1 point ago

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i think this pic would be funnier without the text over it

[–]Blumpkin_Pie 0 points1 point ago

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Is he sleeping?

[–]Ace1999 0 points1 point ago

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Contrary to popular belief they're actually vampire bitches sucking away his life force!

[–]farceur318 0 points1 point ago

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It's like they're stealing his life-force though his nipples.

[–]samuraichikx 0 points1 point ago

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I had my calc final today! I had to do that! only with men...which is kind of normal anyway. The world is my gay wedding.

[–]koshercommando 0 points1 point ago

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does anybody know where I can find the original pic??

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Maybe hey knows that they are actually lady boys.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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This looks like my biology teacher =/

[–]all_usernames_taken -1 points0 points ago

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O.K. it sucks to be the guy, but from what movie is this picture taken?

[–]nerga -1 points0 points ago

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oh its funny because hes asian, and has a weird face, and because hes asian he should be good at hard math, math like calculus! Oh wow that is so crazy.

[–]Fabjance -1 points0 points ago

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All of the Asians in my lectures sit in the front row. All of them.

[–]rhavage -1 points0 points ago

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this has gotta be from otaku fantasy porn that will NEVER happen in a million years.

[–]qaphqa -3 points-2 points ago

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It's funny because the only thing Asians are good at is math

[–]Raz_Aquato 0 points1 point ago

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and Engineering, Medicine, Law, Accounting, Architecture, Design, . . .

[–]qaphqa 0 points1 point ago

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For the record, my comment was sarcastic. Note that the guy in the pic isn't holding a calculator or even a notebook, but it nonetheless uses the tired 'Asians are good at math' joke.

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