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top 200 commentsshow 500

[–]acegibson 550 points551 points ago

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The stick - from man's very first war to his latest.

[–]ochoa88 189 points190 points ago

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Thing is, it's probably a specialized tactical enemy deterrent stick that costs $1.2 million.

[–]deavon 10 points11 points ago

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Perhaps under Cheney's direction.

[–]Key_Lime 27 points28 points ago

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Do you honestly believe that Cheney thinks a soldier's life is worth more than $1.2 million?

[–]LuxNocte 46 points47 points ago

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I believe that Cheney is willing to funnel as much money as possible necessary to achieve third quarter growth projections save the lives of American soldiers.

[–]ElDiablo666 5 points6 points ago

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I think warfare is summed up quite nicely by the cost-benefit analysis that's being discussed right now.

[–]srika 21 points22 points ago

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Well, we can get Halliburton to make those.

[–]Big_Dick_Cheney 4 points5 points ago

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More money for me, plus it saves American lives!

[–]jrandom 1 point2 points ago

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It costs that much because not only can you wield it in a vertical fashion, you can also use it in a horizontal orientation.

[–]fr3ddie 27 points28 points ago

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They should implement this on several FPS's.

[–]lackofbrain 17 points18 points ago

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In MDK one of the things you could pick up was a decoy - it was bascially an inflatable doll version of your character which wobbled off in a specified direction and drew fire. That was a very silly game though.

[–]jauho 2 points3 points ago

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Man, I loved that game.

[–]AgentMull 4 points5 points ago

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On second thought, lets not go to Camelot. Tis a silly place.

[–]leorolim 2 points3 points ago

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BURN THE BLASFEMER!

[–]lackofbrain 1 point2 points ago

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Why am I blaspheming? It was a very silly game, and deliberately so. It was a lot of fun though...

[–]catsfive 2 points3 points ago

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OK, he's a nice guy. BUT BURN HIM ANYWAY!

[–]lackofbrain 1 point2 points ago

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Hold on, let me just get my asbestos underwear, then we can do this.

[–]catsfive 1 point2 points ago

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OK, I'll get a duck and meet you back here in 20.

[–]agbullet 7 points8 points ago

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The original Duke Nukem 3D had a holographic decoy you could put around corners and such to trick your enemies into firing and giving away their location.

[–]Fallout 233 points234 points ago

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“I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones.” —Albert Einstein

[–]dfndoe 145 points146 points ago

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In an interview with Alfred Werner (published in Liberal Judaism in 1949), Einstein said: "I do not know how the Third World War will be fought, but I can tell you what they will use in the Fourth -- rocks!"

  • snopes

[–]feureau 32 points33 points ago

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fucking snopes. How do they work?!

[–]BowlingisnotNam 77 points78 points ago

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They are like CNN: They do investigative reporting exclusively on shit that doesn't matter.

[–]inthe80s 65 points66 points ago

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I think Snopes investigates stuff that matters more often than CNN does lately.

[–]the_fun_alt_account 1 point2 points ago

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Except factual accuracy matters more than populist opinion on celebrity gossip.

[–]Rivia 5 points6 points ago

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This is how they work.

[–]TimothyCratchit 16 points17 points ago

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Very appropriate name for the quote!

[–]brianbrianbrian 38 points39 points ago

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Quotes... quotes never change.

[–]kfour 2 points3 points ago

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-brianbrianbrian

[–]Over-hyphen-ator 8 points9 points ago

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-brian-brian-brian

[–]darc_oso 5 points6 points ago

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-brain-brain-brain

[–]DLWormwood 8 points9 points ago

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-pinky-pinky-pinky

[–]anders_ 3 points4 points ago

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zort

[–]ronearc 9 points10 points ago

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Teddy Roosevelt, big fan of the stick, would approve of this post. Side note, the aircraft carrier, USS Theodore Roosevelt has three nicknames. It is usually just TR, its radio call sign is Rough Rider but most beloved of all, the TR is often referred to simply as The Big Stick.

[–]ghoststalking 2 points3 points ago

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Sticks and stones may break my bones but kkchhhhht Your position has been compromised, over.

[–]whittler 3 points4 points ago

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you don't have to say "kkchhhhht" every time you press the button

[–]Fourism 12 points13 points ago

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under-appreciated comment

[–]toobias 52 points53 points ago

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I liked it when it only had 5 upvotes.

[–][deleted] 24 points25 points ago

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Man, you're just toobiased.

[–]rabidg00se 17 points18 points ago

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Man, you're just AlwaysFapping.

[–]LordCypher 10 points11 points ago

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Stop posting on Reddit rabidg00se!!! You are a g00se!! You don't have fingers and can't type!!! Also rabies!

[–]bitingmyownteeth 6 points7 points ago

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I need some kind of symbol, perhaps a royal symbol to know this message is legit.

[–]Zyberst 2 points3 points ago

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The feet! They are very elegant and flexible. Also doesn't we everyone have freedom of speech on reddit? I for one would like to hear a rapid goose's take on the current human centric wars and social structures. A fresh perspective could be what we need!

[–]LordCypher 3 points4 points ago

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made me giggle! elegant and goose feet are not two things i would have associated with each other... maybe in water.

TIL- geese have waterproof computers.

[–]Zyberst 2 points3 points ago

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My work here is done. Is should really make a novelty account someday..

[–]IZ3820 1 point2 points ago

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What options are you considering?

[–]onefingerattack 2 points3 points ago*

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I saw a better comment floating around at the bottom of the thread. You probably didn't see it though. It was very obscure.

[–]HeathenCyclist 1 point2 points ago

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...to his last.

FTFY

[–]GrumpyAlien 1 point2 points ago

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Twig technology at it's best

[–]trouser 164 points165 points ago

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Attach the fake head to a periscope and you won't ever have to stick your head out.

[–]Bloodysneeze 82 points83 points ago*

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I believe this has been done with simple mirrors at least as far back as WWI.

Edit: Looks like they even went as far as to attach a rifle to periscopes.
http://www.charleyswar.net/weapons-of-world-war-1-trench-periscope-rifle/

[–]AnimeKid 18 points19 points ago

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I wanna say I saw this on a show called Future Weapons or something...but I recall something similar.

A gun that can be angled to shoot around a corner. In order to be feasible for such, it has a camera affixed so the soldier can see what it is they are looking at around the corner without exposing themselves.

[–]morkoq 25 points26 points ago

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i remember it too, the gun was israeli, thats all i remember

[–]raziphel 17 points18 points ago

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Ironically, the gun is based off of a German idea from WW2.

[–]teknoprisoners 1 point2 points ago

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The good ole Krummlauf für Sturmgewehr 44.

[–]unfriendlyfire 9 points10 points ago

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They sure know their guns.

[–]UnqualifiedChemist 3 points4 points ago

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The corner shot

[–]TUNGSTEN_MAN 4 points5 points ago

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I remember this! Although there could have been multiple references to various guns.

The one I remember was a german automatic rifle. The Germans during WWII rushed the production of a certain tank/artillery piece, and they neglected to put a machine gun on it, which meant enemy soldiers could just climb up on top and kill the people inside with no problem.

So to compensate this mistake, they made a machine gun with a curved barrell so the people inside could poke the gun out and shoot in various directions just enough to deter soldiers from getting close.

Morkoq mentioned some isreali gun. Im sure there are multiple guns like this. Maybe he is thinking of some fancy new high technology gun that has cameras and stuff.

[–]YouLostTheGame 10 points11 points ago

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[–]rogue_hertz 4 points5 points ago

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It was taken a step further however; the Kitty CornerShot.

[–]TheTreeMan 1 point2 points ago

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Wasn't this gun in Ghost Recon?

[–]zellyman 2 points3 points ago

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Kind of. In the last two you could hold the MR-C out around the corner and use the camera to aim.

[–]hlipschitz 1 point2 points ago

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It's called a CornerShot.

[–]Meekois 9 points10 points ago

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This will be the future of warfare. Instead of shooting each other, we will shoot each others guns, until the other side has no more guns and surrenders.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

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except the guns will be robot controlled.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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Im on a phone, but yotube the naked gun scene where leslie neilson and the bad guy run out of bullets and just start throwing guns out of a box at each other.

[–]LuxNocte 1 point2 points ago

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Recoil must be a bitch. Not as bad as enemy fire, of course...but still...

[–]itstemo1 11 points12 points ago

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You don't mind if i patent this would you? Maybe even have a robot with a Fake Head.

[–]morkoq 28 points29 points ago

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or we can have the robots just fight each other

[–]spandia[!] 6 points7 points ago

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They would sort of Rock'em and then Sock'em too.

[–]Sewermutt 5 points6 points ago

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We live in a digital age now. All we need are some cameras.

[–]FrankManic 1 point2 points ago

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I've heard soldiers bitching about how much weight in batteries they need to lug around to power all the gizmos they have these days.

[–]evil_twin 1 point2 points ago

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when it comes to their equipment, the simpler the better.

[–]nanto 1 point2 points ago

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Attach the fake head to a robot and you won't ever have to not be a slave to robots

[–]MrRabbit 250 points251 points ago

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Well...

I'm done complaining about my squeaky office chair for the day at least.

[–]StupidLorbie 136 points137 points ago

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for the day at least.

I like the cut of your jib.

[–]illusio 41 points42 points ago

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What's a jib?

[–]thelastbaron 63 points64 points ago

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A type of sail.

[–]illusio 105 points106 points ago

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I know. Old Simpsons joke:

Tennille: I'm a man of few words… Any questions?

Homer: Uh, is the poop deck really what I think it is?

Tennille: (laughs) I like the cut of your jib.

Homer: What's a jib?

Tennille: (laughs, then speaks to his sergeant) Promote that man.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Also a type of crane.

[–]xboarder 11 points12 points ago

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[–]Cydrid 1 point2 points ago

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I like the cut of his hair.

[–]LawyersGunsAndMoney 1 point2 points ago

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"Hey, no disrespect Jonas, but it isn't so easy. These guys like their system, it's what they do. You take that away and you are looking at a bunch of pissed off nut bags with ray guns, and giant, I don't know, a giant octopus slash tank with laser eyes."

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]juke_the_stats 13 points14 points ago*

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A friend of mine was an Air Force mechanic and one day a bunch of Army guys showed up for a plane ride. They were out on the tarmac and a reservist officer walked by and my friend nodded at him. The officer yelled "Where's your salute Airman?" and my friend had to remind him "We don't salute on the flightline sir." The officer walked away sheepishly.

[–]Negative__One 8 points9 points ago

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Why don't they salute on the flightline? Also what's a flightline?

[–]AdShea 13 points14 points ago

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Because if you forget what you're doing for one second, you may be crushed or sucked into an engine. Officer egos are slightly more resilient than airman bodies.

[–]spoogieking012 4 points5 points ago

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very very slightly

[–]juke_the_stats 4 points5 points ago

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I think he explained that they want people to be concentrating on their jobs: whether it be handling fuel or weapons or running jet engines and propellors, and not worrying about who to salute. And the flightline is basically the staging area beside the runway near the hangars.

[–]MrShow 5 points6 points ago*

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Simply put, it's a no hat, no salute area. Hats get sucked into jet engines. So certain areas are deemed "no hat, no salute".

Even more simply put, a flightline is where all the planes like to hang out when they're not flying.

And by the by, juke_the_stats' friend is full of shit. This story has been told to me 60 times in the eight years I've been in the Air Force; each time it was told to me by the "protagonist". We enlisted folk like to talk up the badassedness we displayed to the bumpkin brass to other enlisted scum. It's especially powerful when you add the fact that it was some dumbass Army officer who doesn't know the decorum on the flightline.

tl;dr: jet intakes are powerful powerful. A plane will only fly for ~1% of its lifespan. Officers are all dumb and collegey. Fuck the Army 'n' stuff. Air Power!

[–]catsfive 1 point2 points ago

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...but in one piece.

[–]ScarfMachine 36 points37 points ago

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This seemed strange to me at first, because I immediately noticed he wasn't wearing his "Battle Rattle" (LBE, Flak Jacket, Canteen). I wanted to call "BS"...

Then I noticed his sniper rifle. Ah, I understand. Carry on, high speed.

[–]imaprinceschik16 30 points31 points ago

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I call BS because I can't do this in MW2 OR Black Ops. Therefore, doesn't exist.

[–]tejmin 6 points7 points ago

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Ninjas don't need armor.

[–]xeonrage 9 points10 points ago

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No your initial impression is correct, it is still a setup scene for a picture.. note the guy in the background in an open doorway just chilling there.. nothing to protect him

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]xeonrage 2 points3 points ago

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so he has his uni off, and is lying next to an open doorway? cmon now

[–]jwd0310 1 point2 points ago

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You said "high speed." Why did you do that? Is that a Marines thing? I play paintball with a guy who says that. I always wondered why.

[–]timwang2006 1 point2 points ago

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We say it in the army too. Just a term to describe someone really badass.

[–]Kweasel 37 points38 points ago

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Either that or he's a closet puppeteer

[–]benso730 20 points21 points ago

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3rd Battalion, 5th Infantry, SpecGroup, Puppeteers.

Oblectatio et Interficio

[–]Honztastic 16 points17 points ago

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Is that Latin for "My Hand in their Ass"?

[–]benso730 6 points7 points ago

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No, but that would have been good, too. :-)

It is "I entertain and I kill"

[–]Otto_rot 6 points7 points ago

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http://imgur.com/lTPHj.jpg

"Five years ago, I lost 30,000 dolls in the blink of an eye, and the world just fuckin' watched."

[–]histumness 3 points4 points ago

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Does the military have a DADT policy for puppeteering?

[–]VladdyB 35 points36 points ago

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What if he destroys the shades ?!?!

[–]selflessGene 36 points37 points ago

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THEN HE WILL FIGHT IN THE SUN!!

[–]zaq1 37 points38 points ago

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Would you prefer he destroy your face?

[–]saintdaniel 141 points142 points ago

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Ehh those are pretty bitching shades

[–]pburn883 12 points13 points ago

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yea i totally agree... save the shades

[–]LordCypher 9 points10 points ago*

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Lol, those are probably Issued gear for him. I know I got a pair of bullet-resistant Oakleys when I went to Afghanistan. Can get new ones pretty easily if they get fucked up. EDIT: bullet resistant is not quite what I wanted to use here, more shrapnel resistant... but definitely not bullet proof, I doubt they could save your face from a 7.62 round that the AKs use if they hit it...

[–]Pratchett 10 points11 points ago

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bullet-resistant Oakleys

TIL there are eye glasses that resist bullets.

[–]Toploader 13 points14 points ago

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The goggles; they do nothing.

[–]ultrafez 1 point2 points ago

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These ones do.

[–]LordCypher 2 points3 points ago

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yup i know there are some that can catch a shotgun blast so that you still have your eyes at least... if you survive a shotgun to the face that is... Its some pretty wicked plastic stuff.

[–]General_Lee 1 point2 points ago

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So who designed the glasses to only cover the eyes? Wouldn't a face mask be much more viable to take a hit? Look at any video game character in a full body suit, like Master Chief. Couldn't they rig up a pane of that glass to cover the face like that?

[–]Pratchett 3 points4 points ago

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In that case I think that the lack of a rest of your face makes working eyes redundant.

[–]Naota10 1 point2 points ago

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It's mainly to protect against random shrapnel, but I know where you're coming from

[–][deleted] ago*

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[deleted]

[–]CC440 1 point2 points ago

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They're more like light-shrapnel-resistant. Even if the lense would stop a bullet it would still push the thin frame into your socket with all the force of said bullet probably crushing your eye socket to bits and killing you.

[–]LordCypher 1 point2 points ago

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i agree. my wording should have been better...

[–]Number_6 2 points3 points ago

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I had to laugh at this one. Just because they are ballistic glasses does not mean they are bullet resistant.

Did you ever get issued the WileyX glasses? I preferred them over the Oakleys. The lenses were almost impossible to scratch.

[–]itsIvan 1 point2 points ago

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If having to squint until he gets new shades is the worst thing that happens to that guy, then I think he'll be fine.

[–]Mrleibniz 7 points8 points ago

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Reminds me of "Enemy at the Gates"

[–]AndrewHollandsworth 3 points4 points ago

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my exact same thoughts. Jude Law is actually good in that movie.

[–]imdwalrus 15 points16 points ago

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[–]cdd727 89 points90 points ago

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I don't agree with the war, but damn do I respect the brave men and women who are over there fighting.

[–]SoPoOneO 86 points87 points ago

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Do you respect uniformed soldiers that fight against the US?

[–]brodies 83 points84 points ago

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Do you respect uniformed soldiers that fight against the US?

I bolded the relevant words. Uniformed, yes. I don't support them, but I at least respect them and hope they can spend the war as a POW before going home and living a long, fruitful life. Fighting without a uniform, though, makes it very difficult for the other side, if not nigh impossible, to truly follow the rules of war.

[–]kingzer 65 points66 points ago

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Also makes it much more difficult for the civilians that live in the country.

[–]P-Dub 20 points21 points ago

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Yeah one thing that is really disgusting about the Taliban is how they immerse themselves with civillians so any attack on them is bound to cause civillian casualties.

It would be like if the united states military tied women and children to the Hesco Bastions that protect them.

[–]Sophophilic 5 points6 points ago

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That's nonsense. If your neighborhood were to be invaded, would you put on a uniform before fighting back?

[–]brodies 2 points3 points ago

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I had grand plans to include that in my comment and somehow forgot it (even though it's arguably a bigger issue). Thanks for adding it!

[–]Seiesnalli 26 points27 points ago

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Why does a uniform suddenly make soldiers respectable?

Presuming you're familiar with American history, the first war with the British was flush with un-uniformed soldiers on the American side. Were they any less respectable than the Continental Army regulars?

[–]jaesun 10 points11 points ago

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you're acting like a civilian, fighting a war. then when they figure it out and try and fight back, they will complain you are killing innocent civilians! brings about unnecessary death that should be avoided

[–]FrankManic 8 points9 points ago

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War is hell and civilians will be killed regardless. Want it to stop? Stop fighting wars.

[–]kingzer 11 points12 points ago

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The percentage of civilian casualties sky rocket when the opposing forces goal is to blend in with them. It's a dirty tactic that brings a much higher risk to everybody involved besides the actual fighters.

[–]FrankManic 21 points22 points ago

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That's something that strong nations tell themselves to justify what they're doing to smaller, poorer nations. They can't possibly win in a stand up fight. So they manipulate the engagement to create terms favorable to them. And one of the best weapons against powerful, imperialistic nations is public opinion. Fighting with guns and cruise missiles and tanks is no more or less noble than fighting with propaganda and stories of massacres. There is no goodness to be found in war.

To put it very simply, where could you possibly hide from a cruise missile, except in a school full of children?

And would you be so suicidal as to stand in the open, welcome the bombs, and invite your own futile, meaningless death?

There is a line in Gladiator that sums this up rather nicely.

Quintus: People should know when they are conquered.

Maximus: Would you, Quintus? Would I?

People will always fight. If they believe their cause is just and their need is great they can, and will, and have, done almost anything. America has as many moments of abject shame as any irregular guerrilla army. Our conflicts over the last two centuries are littered with civilian massacres, the bombing of hospitals, schools, and places of worship, The outright destruction of entire cities, massacres of surrendering troops, deals brokered with tyrants and mad men. We're the only nation in the history of the world to use Nuclear weapons in conflict, and we chose largely civilian targets, with questionable military utility, against a nation that was already beaten and broken because we demanded unconditional surrender and would settle for nothing less.

War is hell. And we are in no position to judge anyone.

[–]mehum 8 points9 points ago

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An interesting footnote to that is that in WWII -- arguable the clearest case of "good vs evil" in any major conflict -- it was the Allied forces that commenced and promoted bombing of civilian centres as a military target. There was an interesting doco about Robert McNamara in which he stated that the Allies were committing war crimes, but they weren't prosecuted because they won.

[–]FrankManic 2 points3 points ago

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Pretty much. People keep pointing out that we hung people for doing what we're doing in Gitmo.

[–]tach 1 point2 points ago

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it was the Allied forces that commenced and promoted bombing of civilian centres as a military target

No. While the allies did conduct large scale terror bombings, the originators were the germans, from the beginning of the war.

On 22 September, Wolfram von Richthofen messaged, "Urgently request exploitation of last opportunity for large-scale experiment as devastation terror raid ... Every effort will be made to eradicate Warsaw completely". - Warsaw Blitz

Britain did renounce the indiscriminate bombing of civilians at the beginning of the war. They reverted their position after the Rotterdam Blitz.

While it was acknowledged bombing Germany would cause civilian casualties, the British government renounced deliberate bombing of civilian property, outside combat zones, as a military tactic.[24] The British changed their policy on 15 May 1940, one day after the German bombing of Rotterdam, when the RAF was given permission to attack targets in the Ruhr Area, including oil plants and other civilian industrial targets which aided the German war effort, such as blast furnaces that at night were self-illuminating. The first RAF raid on the interior of Germany took place on the night of 15/16 May 1940 while the Battle of France was still continuing.

And let's not get started on the Spanish Civil War, where a small town called Guernica suffered the manifestations of German Kultur.

They sowed the wind, and reaped the firestorms at Dresden.

[–]Maxion 5 points6 points ago

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Well, it's kind of hard for them to get a uniform when they aren't really even an army

[–]rmeredit 1 point2 points ago

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So what of those Libyans fighting in what's now a civil war to free themselves from a mad dictator? It's the nutjob's henchmen with the uniforms, shooting, bombing and murdering their own people.

[–]ufoninja 1 point2 points ago*

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one mans freedom fighter is another mans terrorist. the 'rules of war'? what exactly does that mean? is it not just something that the winners make up after the fact?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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god i hate the "rules of war" bullshit. war is mass murder, lets not get cute with a bunch of laws and shit.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points ago

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I don't. If they didn't volunteer, there wouldn't be a war.

[–]hypejdubs 15 points16 points ago

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FN CAMPERS!!!

[–]Poddster 9 points10 points ago

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That's not an FN.

[–]DrOOpieS 4 points5 points ago

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Looks like a barrett

[–]rockon4life45 4 points5 points ago

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If he's using a recent M16 it probably is FN, as Colt licensed the manufacturing to FN.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

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It's very clearly not an M16. It's an M82

[–]StupidLorbie 14 points15 points ago

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I do the same thing when I wake up. I dangle my arm off the bed, and then my cat attacks it. Better my arm than my ankle. In my sleep-haze, I wind up stepping on the miserable creature then startling myself and falling over.

It's pure chaos.

[–]Bobinator2000 2 points3 points ago

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Random-but-slightly-related-fact time!

This is basically where the saying "Use your loaf" came from. In ye olde days, they used to put their helmet on a loaf of bread (their rations bread) and pop it round a corner to get them to shoot so they were open for attack while they reload (flint and lock guns).

[–]Tgg161 5 points6 points ago

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I have never heard 'use your loaf'. Is it British?

[–]samsari 3 points4 points ago

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Are you sure? It's rhyming slang - use your head/loaf of bread/loaf

[–]the-snowman54 5 points6 points ago

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In my day we just saluted the nearest officer

[–]turtledujour 96 points97 points ago

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Fuck everything about this. I gotta go hug a vet.

[–]NakedOldGuy 237 points238 points ago

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I'll kick a politician in the balls.

[–]_dustinm_ 7 points8 points ago

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You don't think they'd see a naked old guy coming a mile away?

[–]_croz 14 points15 points ago

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Let me go find Bush.

[–]ShadyJane 55 points56 points ago

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Hey you pervert, get your head outta my skirt!!

[–]DanWallace 22 points23 points ago

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Now we know where Jane gets her shade.

[–][deleted] 13 points14 points ago

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Agreed. My dog ate some chocolate a few months ago. But she's all good now thanks to the work of a vet.

[–]dghughes 6 points7 points ago

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I wonder if veterinarians hate the word "vet".

Veterinarians must be thinking "Thanks!...oh."

Even more confusing if you're a veterinarian veteran

[–]muldots 1 point2 points ago

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moreso if you are a veteran aryan veterinarian

[–]eternityablaze 29 points30 points ago

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I bet that's not a politicians son.

[–][deleted] 32 points33 points ago

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Not a fortunate son

[–]psilokan 29 points30 points ago

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C-C-R BREAKER

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points ago

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He wasn't drafted. He volunteered. It's not like he only is there because he didn't have connections.

[–]flashman 2 points3 points ago

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Given the ratio of politicians to everyone else, I'd say that's a safe bet.

[–]NickDouglas 12 points13 points ago

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Reminds me of the scene in a Discworld novel where Vimes doesn't do this: He puts the stick at an odd angle, and the sniper shoots where he would have been if he'd been poking the stick straight up.

[–]thumbsdown 3 points4 points ago

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I think I understand what you mean but I need a diagram to be sure. The sniper shoots through the wall at the point where he would have been had he pointed the stick straight up?

[–]StoneFawkes 2 points3 points ago

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Yes.

[–]eightate8at8 3 points4 points ago

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I've been reading this as "Sniper chick..." the past 3 hours..

[–]funkybside 2 points3 points ago

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Ping!

Yep, there's a sniper. Now what?

[–]norsurfit 14 points15 points ago

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Sniper, no sniping!

[–]Tgg161 7 points8 points ago

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Aw man!

[–]citizen511 9 points10 points ago

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That's not how you sniper check. All you gotta do is listen in your headset for someone saying

Dude, I just no-scoped a bunch of fags near their spawn point. Two more kills and I'll have my chopper gunner. Fucking noobs.

[–]FrostByt 2 points3 points ago

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Wouldn't that knock you in the junk?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Is that a little kid sitting in the background?

[–]Orangutan 1 point2 points ago

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War is a Racket ~ Maj. Gen. Smedley Butler

[–]maverickjs 1 point2 points ago

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In America, I fought where my Civilian Government sent me. I am proud to have represented you as best as I could in the situation I was given.

[–]fockzhound 1 point2 points ago

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(Sniper) "These infidel have such thin necks"

[–]5trokerac3 1 point2 points ago

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Wrong term. A sniper check is saluting an officer in the field.

[–]Thwomper 1 point2 points ago

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"Vasili, grab that sniper rifle. Good. Now wait for Pavel to get the bastard's attention. Pavel... Do it!" "Yes, Comrade." "Fourth floor, red building!" "He's dead. Good shot comrade."

[–]CleanShavenRiker 1 point2 points ago

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There really are random oil drums inside buildings over there? I thought that was just a FPS thing...

[–]philkav 5 points6 points ago

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His own rifle is pointing towards his head...

[–]QuesoPantera 38 points39 points ago

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Fortunately a trigger can't pull itself.

[–]StupidLorbie 46 points47 points ago

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I heard guns kill people.

[–]DoctorRock 5 points6 points ago

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No, guns don't kill people, puppies kill people

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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Air Bud 13: Markspup.

[–]Jakubisko 1 point2 points ago

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Guns don't kill people... I kill people - with guns!

[–]The_Higgs_Boson 1 point2 points ago

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POW!

[–]el0rg 1 point2 points ago

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Guns don't kill people, gaping holes in vital organs kill people.

[–]philkav 4 points5 points ago

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True, but isn't the 3rd rule of gun club that your gun is always loaded and can go off at any time

[–]unnecessary_axiom 10 points11 points ago

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No, the third rule of gun club is "If someone says 'stop' or goes limp, tap..." no, wait, nevermind. Wrong club.

[–]sanfranman 9 points10 points ago

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Famous last words.

[–]QuesoPantera 3 points4 points ago

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Just to prove a point, I've re-enacted this photo and I am completely safkopjopppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp

[–]kingbinji 7 points8 points ago

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thats not his rifle....the guy hes looking for is right next to him!

[–]MovinToCalifornia 2 points3 points ago

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you idiot, the sniper is five feet away from you, across from the barrel!