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[–]megamuncher 202 points203 points ago

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Get off my land, you peace loving beatniks

[–]ShadyG 152 points153 points ago

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"I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it."
-- Jack Handy

[–]ron3090 37 points38 points ago

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"In the game of chess you can never let your opponent see your pieces."

--Zapp Brannigan

[–]kylewelte 8 points9 points ago

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In the end, they crumbled like a house of soufflé cards.

[–]JeddHampton 17 points18 points ago

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"If we hit that bull's eye, the rest of the dominoes will fall like a house of cards. Checkmate."

[–]bhal123 17 points18 points ago

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"When I take action, I'm not going to fire a 2 million dollar missile at a 10 dollar empty tent and hit a camel in the butt. It's going to be decisive." -- President George W. Bush, Newsweek, Sep 24, 2001

[–]iamBillCosby 1 point2 points ago

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and not a single fuck was given that day.

[–]Naberius 68 points69 points ago

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Country fans really turned on the Dixie Chicks after they dissed Bush.

[–]cutthedayshort 19 points20 points ago

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I read this in Bob Saget's voice.

[–]magoh 7 points8 points ago

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I read your comment in Tom Bergeron's voice.

[–]Yargyarg 22 points23 points ago

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As a result of our failing school system I was unable to read your comment.

[–]my79spirit 0 points1 point ago

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I read yours with Daisy Fuentes, briefly laughing benignly in the background.

[–]Jafit 58 points59 points ago

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Well girls are indeed icky, this seems like a reasonable course of action.

[–]Hastyr 36 points37 points ago

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We must prevent the spread of cooties at all costs.

[–]foxomo 28 points29 points ago

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We must construct additional tractors.

[–]Jubber 8 points9 points ago

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Spawn more overtractors.

[–]sirukin 7 points8 points ago

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Not enough petroleum gas!

[–][deleted] 122 points123 points ago*

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Afterward, she left him and left behind a John Deere letter.

[–]drphungky 18 points19 points ago*

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Oh man, hate to do it, but the country boy in me is screaming to get out:

Afterward, she left him and left behind a John Deere letter.

FTFY

Edit: Your correction makes me happy, but I just realized you could've been making a hidden double entendre there, what with leaving behind a John Deer *letter* because the e was missing. Oh what cleverness. If it wasn't your intent, you totally should have claimed that.

[–][deleted] 12 points13 points ago

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You did the right thing.

[–]drphungky 8 points9 points ago

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Wow, I totally missed your username. Talk about oblivious.

Although I guess it was technically a spelling error, not grammar. So I don't feel completely moronic.

[–]SwampySoccerField -5 points-4 points ago

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You two are so sweet. Now let me stop the 'HEY I COMMENTED ON YOUR SWEET MOMENT, GIVE ME KARMA' train before it gets started.

Please, don't give me karma for my statement. Its the duty of each Redditor to cockblock the karma train before it gets started.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points ago

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I chortled audibly.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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I chortled audibly.

Is there any other way?

[–]vcuauhtemoc 3 points4 points ago

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You know you really aren't considering the deaf population.

[–]jackface337 0 points1 point ago

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If a deaf person chortles in the woods, does anyone hear it?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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True, because the context is simpler than that. Chortling, by definition, is a sound. So... "audible chortling" is (as pointed out by Willis13579) a bit of a pleonasm, which is what I was poking fun at. ;-)

[–]thenumber28[!] 0 points1 point ago

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food for thought, in chinese there aren't any verbs that necessarily imply their completion, like in english. accompanying words have to be added to indicate completion.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Hmm... I've also heard that Chinese doesn't have verb tenses, and that temporality is expressed through context. I'm actually interested in learning Mandarin, though I'm still short on gumption at this point. :-/

[–]vcuauhtemoc -1 points0 points ago

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I dunno, I think this definition was made without the consultation of any deaf lexicographers, and thus is biased. I'd bet different sounding laughs also correspond to different sounding facial expressions.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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I think you're missing the point. Being able to hear or not isn't relevant to the joke.

By definition, chortling makes a sound, whether there is someone to hear it or not. To specify that the chortling is audible implies that there might exist a kind of chortling that would be inaudible, but English already has a word for that: silence.

Let's take hearing out of it, to avoid confusion. Suppose I describe a cat as "sitting statically"; it's another pleonasm, because the implication that something could sit, but not be at rest, is nonsense, making the adjective redundant. Whether there's anyone to observe the cat, or whether the cat can move, isn't significant.

[–]vcuauhtemoc 0 points1 point ago

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I saw the word joke. I hoped that you had also remembered that my response was a continuation of that joke.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Shit, mang, I think I mistakenly took your first comment seriously.

Stereotypes are bad, blah blah blah, but I swear to whatever-you-hold-holy, every deaf person I've met so far (not that many, but still) has had a stick up their ass about hearing vs non-hearing. Consequently, when someone makes reference to deafness not being taking into consideration in some cultural context, I simply assume they are doing so in earnest.

Egg, and my face, are in alignment. (stolen from Moss, The IT Crowd)

[–]Willis13579 0 points1 point ago

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Humorous pleonasm.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points ago

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Wait, are you explaining JokersAndClowns' comment to me in earnest? Surely it was clear that my previous comment was rhetorical, or...? Is this some kind of meta-troll? :-]

[–]down_vote_magnet 2 points3 points ago

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I say we stay here and keep saving our money for the worm farm.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points ago

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FTFY

John Deere

[–]Snufflesaur -1 points0 points ago

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Dumb and Dumber did it.

[–]Dark1000 66 points67 points ago

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Bitch, I'm a tractor.

FTFY

[–]aldt 20 points21 points ago

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That's how I read it initially. Far less coherent, far more appropriate.

[–]Bitch_IAmA_Bus 2 points3 points ago

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Ugh, this meme is so overused these days...

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Yeah, he could at least have gotten the original quote right.
It wasn't "Bitch im on a Bus" that isn't even really funny.

[–]gettinginfocus 0 points1 point ago

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[–]JustTrollingYou[S] 161 points162 points ago

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They see me rollin.

[–]jaylem 70 points71 points ago

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They hatin'

[–]skyride 48 points49 points ago

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and oh its apparent i'm too white and nerdy.

[–]RustyRobot 38 points39 points ago

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Move bitch! Get out the way, get out the way bitch! Get out the way!!!

[–]madwickedguy 0 points1 point ago

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patrolin and tryin to catch me ridin dirty....

[–]Ghostalker474 0 points1 point ago

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tryin to catch me ridin dirty...

[–]The_Dirty_Carl 0 points1 point ago

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Get off my back.

[–]dammitmanion 3 points4 points ago

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Since these girls peepin me I'ma glide and swerve, these hookers lookin so hard they straight hit the curb

[–]guyinatrashcan 2 points3 points ago

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| They see me trollin'

FTFY

[–]numbernumber99 -1 points0 points ago

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Relevant!

This is what I thought the link was going to show in the first place.

[–][deleted] 29 points30 points ago

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"Move bitch" version is better.

[–]madwickedguy 3 points4 points ago

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get out the way!

[–]drphungky 0 points1 point ago

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Get out the way bitch!

[–]coffinrehearsal -2 points-1 points ago

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Bitch move!

FTFY.

[–]Endemoniada 21 points22 points ago

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Bitch, I'm on a tractor! - The 60s edition.

[–]OldTimeGentleman 6 points7 points ago

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That episode made me scream out loud. My neighbours must have thought I was a psychopath.

[–]Endemoniada 2 points3 points ago

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I just sat gasping for a few seconds, and then I burst into uncontrollable laughter. Never in a million years could I have imagined a scene like that in Mad Men. Hysterical. Loved it :)

[–]line10gotoline10 0 points1 point ago

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Holy CRAP I have to come back to watching this show. What season is THAT?

[–]Endemoniada 0 points1 point ago

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Season 3, around episode 5-6 I think.

[–]snadfox 6 points7 points ago

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step 1: track reddit front page imgur links for a week step 2: repost in 8 months step 3: profit step 4: repeat, own reddit front page

i'm too lazy to do this myself, probably since i don't actually understand this hubub about 'karma'

[–]opsbabe 16 points17 points ago

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Actually its a gator. sorry.

[–]yesac2004 0 points1 point ago

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Came here to say that

/Farmer Melvin

[–]NiceGuysFinishLast 3 points4 points ago

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I bet the Dad got in more trouble for laughing his ass off than the kid did for doing it...

[–]smn 8 points9 points ago

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Bitches love tractors

[–]Angusgrim 2 points3 points ago

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I don't care how many times that gif gets re-posted, its funny EVERY SINGLE TIME, and will continue to be.

Having been a little brother to two older sisters, god bless this young man.

[–]drunkcowofdeath 7 points8 points ago

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Sigh.... all I can see is one of those kids getting their ankle broken when the tractor drives over it.

I'm always paranoid when it comes to gifs like these.

[–]SnacklePop 4 points5 points ago

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The first time I watched it, I was just hoping the little girl wouldn't get ran over.

The second time I watched it, I laughed very loudly.

[–]sarlcagan 4 points5 points ago

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Love the laugh at the end!

[–]JustTrollingYou[S] 8 points9 points ago

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AWWWWW YEAHHHHHHHHH

[–]steroidsthrowaway 1 point2 points ago

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Same here. That maniac grin cracked me up.

[–]val_kyrie -1 points0 points ago

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Supervillain in the making. Now he just needs a nemesis and a sweet costume. And a lair. Every villain needs a lair.

[–]Daeroth 3 points4 points ago

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God damn hippies!

[–]LucienReeve 3 points4 points ago

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What a ghastly little boy.

[–]ammderlu 1 point2 points ago

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Trailer Park Boys -- The Early Years.

[–]GeorgeForemanGrillz 1 point2 points ago

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Future Ford F350/H3 driving scumbag.

[–]DoctorBaconite 1 point2 points ago

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What you don't see is the little girls leg getting mutilated by the underside of the riding mower.

[–]horth 1 point2 points ago

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Looks more like a John Deere, Gator to me...

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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I want some kids.

oh, and a million dollars (not exaggerating).

[–]nats15 1 point2 points ago

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Fuckin city folk. How can you not know the difference between a tractor and a fucking Gator.

[–]deflective 2 points3 points ago

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as mentioned last time this was posted, start this song in the background then watch the gif

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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you do know he got his ass kicked by his sisters afterwards, of course. double teamed him. it is what sisters do.

[–]nyxerebos 0 points1 point ago

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disclaimer: nonsexual and silly

[–]enken90 1 point2 points ago

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RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE

[–]NonAmerican 1 point2 points ago

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And I dupe your posts.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points ago

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You mean the gif keeps repeating?

[–]hermes369 1 point2 points ago

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[–]CylonInALabcoat 1 point2 points ago

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/steers into girl at the end.

[–]CRoswell 1 point2 points ago

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I'm on a tractor. Plowing fields and shit!

Moving that soil, getting seeds all WET.

This ain't New York, this is rural as it gets.

[–]Eurynom0s 1 point2 points ago

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God dammit, I thought this was "Bitch, I'm not a tractor," and was going to make a McCoy joke. But no, now we can't have nice things.

[–]stealthmodeactive 1 point2 points ago

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Bitch, I'm a tractor.

FTFY

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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i always hated the ultra lame toys i got when i was a kid when my brother got fucking awesome remote-controlled shit and THINGS YOU CAN RIDE IN! fucking dolls and fake hair-blow dryers.

[–]borick -1 points0 points ago

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I keep saving funny pics to my funny pics folder. But the file-names have never overlapped. I have like almost 1,000 and not once have I had to overwrite a file. I attribute this to reddit's old link detection system as most of my images come from reddit. I like stories.

[–]spindash 1 point2 points ago

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Nothin' runs over bitches like a Deer.

[–]nopokejoke 0 points1 point ago

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Is this the same guy who ran over those cyclists?

[–]Awol_01010001 0 points1 point ago

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MOVE BITCH! GET OUT THE WAY!

[–]Gearshock 0 points1 point ago

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Anyone seen the source video to this?

[–]justbecausewhynot 0 points1 point ago

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I always see that exact same guitar in every pawn shop I go. What does that mean Disney?

[–]g4mm4 0 points1 point ago

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Fuck the police!

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Hahahaha, thank you so much for reminding me of "Bitch, I'm a bus!"

fucking L OH L every time

[–]freeatwill 0 points1 point ago

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My only question is did he back up and ask one of them for a sandwich?

[–]amayes 0 points1 point ago

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like a bus.

yeah, I said it.

[–]joeanon 0 points1 point ago

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Should have been.. Bitch, I'm a tractor.

[–]Divernon 1 point2 points ago

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I'm a Gator, Bitch. FTFY

[–]cmha-yes 0 points1 point ago

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this does not have enough upvotes... .gif clearly shows a John Deere Gator

[–]Maybe_not 0 points1 point ago

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I can't believe that so many people doesn't notice this, a gator looks no way like a tractor. It saddens me that OP thinks this a tractor, has he never seen a farm?

[–]gurry -1 points0 points ago

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I'm on a Gator, Bitch. or You're a Gator? Bitch. FTFY.
(go noles!)

[–]31stan 0 points1 point ago

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I believe you meant to say bitch I'm a bus.

[–]JayhawkCSC 0 points1 point ago

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I'll get her a tractor...

Bitches love tractors.

[–]The_Director 0 points1 point ago

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Don't give GTA to this kid!!!

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago*

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Bitch, I'm an assault with a deadly vehicle conviction.

[–]jrockk 0 points1 point ago

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i have two younger sisters and only wish i had access to a drivable tractor to further torture... i mean love them. bahaha

[–]skateitsgreat 0 points1 point ago

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I've seen this .gif before. It works best when you listen to this at the same time: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FwhRQYf--KM

[–]Dr_Eastman 0 points1 point ago

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Not a tractor...

[–]FattyMagee 0 points1 point ago

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The best part is that at the very end he jerks the wheel to the left as if he intends to finish her off.

[–]The_narrator101 0 points1 point ago

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Boys rule

[–]RealDollNipSlip 0 points1 point ago

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I learned from Mad Men that women can't drive John Deere tractors.

[–]_refugee_ 0 points1 point ago

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Bitch, I'm a bus.

[–]ViewSonik 0 points1 point ago

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bitches love tractors

[–]AJistheGreatest 0 points1 point ago

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Repost

[–]IrregardlessYourRong 0 points1 point ago

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Move Bitch Get Out The Way, would have been a better title.

[–]TurboDowns 0 points1 point ago

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Suddenly, a tractor

[–]phadedlife 0 points1 point ago

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picture is older than the internet

[–]Breauxhim 0 points1 point ago

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The girl with the guitar stopped singing; she looked over to her right and squinted.

That noise, what--

The tractor was bearing down on them.

No time to think.

She fucking took off.

Behind her, she heard a scream, then a crunch.

[–]wall-y -5 points-4 points ago

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He really plowed that bitch.

[–]niggerdick -1 points0 points ago

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Apparently, you took the joke too far. Let's recap:

  • calling a couple of seven-year-old girls who weren't bothering anyone a bitch: cool
  • making a sexual pun about it: not cool

Keep this in mind next time. You need to get your finger on the pulse of reddit's sense of humor.

I'm trying out various jokes in which I call the seven-year-olds cunts. I'll let you know how they turn out, but I'm guessing the results will not be favorable.

[–]wall-y 0 points1 point ago

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Fascinating, I admire your scientific mind.

Reddit, she is a cruel mistress.

[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points ago

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Cunt is a word most people would downvote you for using for most situations.

And it's a play on the "Bitch, I'm a bus" meme. Had this meme never occurred the gif would not have received as many upvotes.

[–]diabloenfuego -2 points-1 points ago

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First and foremost, you're a troll. Second, his pun was crafty if a little insensitive. Finally, if you're complaining about how insensitive this is, maybe you should first look at your username.

[–]niggerdick 0 points1 point ago

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First and foremost, disagreeing with me doesn't make me a troll. Secondly, I agree, his pun was crafty. That was the fucking point of me responding to him.

[–]Ryan0617 -1 points0 points ago

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Anyone know where the video is?

[–]Dalonger 0 points1 point ago

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I'm being too lazy to find it, but I've seen it a bunch of times on America's Funniest Home Videos. Seems there's an influx of AFV gifs going around.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points ago

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boys rule, girls drool.

[–]seagramsextradrygin -1 points0 points ago

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Maybe i'm getting old in reddit years, but I feel like this was on the front page last week.

[–]privatejoker -4 points-3 points ago

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This was hilarious

when i first saw it last month

[–]IAmANotFunny -2 points-1 points ago

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Tractor... I'm a bus , bitch!

[–]sjbennett85 -2 points-1 points ago

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repost

[–]leitz010 -4 points-3 points ago

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repooost

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points ago

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PROtractor

[–]Frankeh -1 points0 points ago

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It's the AWWWWW YEEAAHHH face he's pulling that gets me.

[–]jivarie -1 points0 points ago

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They see me Troll'n old posts.

[–]primary0 -1 points0 points ago

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Suddenly, a traktor!

[–]AetherAeternus -1 points0 points ago

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The kid throws his head back at the last minute and screams "AWWWWWW YEEEEEEAAAAAAAAH"

[–]Moreland -1 points0 points ago

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like a Hoss (Cartwright that is)

[–]jonathanyong81 -1 points0 points ago

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[–]darkp22 -1 points0 points ago

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Stopping the Coodie Revolution one girl at a time!

[–]quantumsheep -1 points0 points ago

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What the... are they going to sing about a tractor or- oh, oh I see. ... Lol.

[–]silentmage -1 points0 points ago

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I love how the kid on the tractor is laughing his ass off.

[–]alexlm85 -1 points0 points ago

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When you see me in the highway, get the fuck out of my way! Move bitch get out the way!

[–]Radico87 -1 points0 points ago

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Proper reaction to hippies. Imagining they're vegetarians is further justification.

[–]b1ip -1 points0 points ago

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sweep the leg

[–]notatotaljerk -1 points0 points ago

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The accumulated filth of all their sex and murder will foam up about their waists and all the whores and politicians will look up and shout "Don't run over us!"... and I'll look down and whisper "No."

[–]biscuitsarefodunking -1 points0 points ago

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heh! Reminds me of my favorite tractor related vid of all time. So many to choose from...

[–]iza_trini -1 points0 points ago

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Good thing he wasn't driving a Chinese Type 59 Tank!

[–]monicacpht3641 -1 points0 points ago

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Me thinks that be a Hannah Montana guitar. Little boy did them a favor.

[–]cmasterchoe -1 points0 points ago

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I think he's a member of G.R.O.S.S.

[–]MorphineBattery -1 points0 points ago

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So i'm not sure if I'm the only one whole likes Combichrst here but it reminded me of this song.

[–]JackSpratts -1 points0 points ago

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hey, show some respect for your hippie sisters or it's off to bed with no granola!

[–]drl5049 -1 points0 points ago

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Not a tractor it's a Gator but still funny

[–]bhal123 -1 points0 points ago

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[–]enucliator -1 points0 points ago

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She thinks my tractors sexy, she wants to ride it all the time.

[–]NeoSniper -1 points0 points ago

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It loaded a bit slow so the first time around I was treated to the slowmo version.

It was glorious!

[–]iamstr8fire -1 points0 points ago

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Epic

[–]SweetNeo85 -1 points0 points ago

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Okay, now how many people missed the word "on" in op's title?

[–]PossiblyTrolling -1 points0 points ago

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CONGRATULATIONS! You are the millionth person to post this gif!

[–]ChaosBeast -1 points0 points ago

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I like how he's very clearly laughing maniacially.

[–]Solvent_Stripper -1 points0 points ago

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I would like to imagine that this kid had a righteous explanation for mom in the aftermath that ensued.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points ago

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I've seen this on reddit so many times. And I will upvote it every time.

[–]freshmas -1 points0 points ago

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That girl later died from her injuries.

[–]twillstein -5 points-4 points ago

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I fucking hate gifs.

[–]this_is_your_dad -2 points-1 points ago

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… we all said "FUCK YOU BITCH" and kept rolling …

[–]BennyHarassi -2 points-1 points ago

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Dexter Morgans 5th birthday

[–]krugnasty -3 points-2 points ago

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[–]shriek -3 points-2 points ago

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Now she's fallen head over heels over him. Girls strangely like to be treated badly. I don't know why.

[–]Dimpl3s -3 points-2 points ago

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I never understood why suburb/city folk called lawn mowers a tractor. This is a tractor

[–]Maybe_not 1 point2 points ago

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It's not a lawnmower, it's clearly a gator. Also a gator looks no way like a tractor, I wonder why so few mentions it, and those that do gets downvoted. This could be compared to saying that a truck is a car.

Maybe this is the result of the digg war?

[–]Dimpl3s 0 points1 point ago

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It is a gator! the lack of a roof threw me.