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top 200 commentsshow all 245

[–]Quantum_Finger 117 points118 points ago

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  1. That looks scary/uncomfortable to drive
  2. That has to screw up your ability to safely control the bike.
  3. ಠ_ಠ

[–][deleted] 52 points53 points ago

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On the plus side, He rides like he's throwing his hands in the air and saying "AAAAWWWW YYYYEEEEAAAAHHHH!"

[–]anonymoustroll 1 point2 points ago

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on the down side, he's wearing a helmet...

...so when he finally crashes, we'll probably have to pay for his sip-and-puff straw controlled motorized wheelchair.

[–]blumpkin 6 points7 points ago

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I've never understood why people ride bikes like that. It makes them look like a little baby that can't reach the handlebars on his tricycle.

[–]Sutibu 13 points14 points ago

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Should be impounded for not being road worthy.

[–]fierylungs 2 points3 points ago

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He could get a ticket in MO, but I've never seen/heard of that around here (and see it often enough to know it's not well enforced.)

[–]paulw252 2 points3 points ago

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Handlebars can't be higher then your shoulders I think. I'm in IL though.

[–]skeierdude 9 points10 points ago

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I remember watching the WCC guys building a bike for Shaq. He asked for longer handlebars and they told him it was a terrible idea, the handling would be awful and the bike would be dangerous. I can't imagine how fucked this guy is if he has to swerve to avoid an accident.

[–]fierylungs 9 points10 points ago

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Screw how fucked that guy would be, how about all the other motorists that would have to avoid his poorly controlled swerve?

[–]bob4apples 1 point2 points ago

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I think the plan is not to swerve but just to be ready in the cartoon splat position.

[–]Cruxius 19 points20 points ago*

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The point to having high handlebars like this is because back when you had very active biker gang wars, the different gangs would string a wire across the road at neck height when they knew a rival gang would be driving past. Chuck handlebars like these on to snap the wires and no one loses their head. It's why that style of bike is called a chopper.

On a side note, there's not a huuuuuge loss in steering ability with handlebars like that, at speed it takes a very small amount of handlebar turn to turn the bike, leaning over works just fine, and in emergencies a quick jerk of the handlebars in the opposite direction to where you want to go will shift you over 1-2m almost immediately.

EDIT: Apparently I was wrong about the reason they're called choppers. The tall handlebars to stop the wires is still correct though.

[–]-buddha- 29 points30 points ago

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That's not why they're called choppers. They got that name because they are custom bikes that were made from chopping up other bikes. Maybe you're familiar with the phrase "chop shop".

It is also difficult to control a motorcycle with tall ape hangers.

[–]ForgettableUsername 4 points5 points ago

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Chop shops are called that because they were where biker gangs brought bodies of rival gang-members to be cut up and disposed of... that's where the 'chop' comes from.

I just made that up, so it's probably not actually true.

[–]mauxfaux 13 points14 points ago

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"It's why that style of bike is called a chopper."

Hahaha.

[–]homercles337 8 points9 points ago

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Youre full of shit on both accounts.

[–]bokin 5 points6 points ago

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I don't doubt they may have been instituted for that reason, but it certainly isn't how choppers got their name. Those handle bars are called "ape hangers" and choppers are named that because they are made from pieces of other bikes.

[–]mikeash 4 points5 points ago

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Couldn't they have a separate bar to cut the wire, and leave the handlebars in a sane position?

[–]ForgettableUsername 5 points6 points ago

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I don't think this would be possible. It has to be the handlebars. There is no other way to do it.

[–]ManBearTree 1 point2 points ago

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If only you hadn't made the chopper reference. Your post is now flawed and holds no weight.

[–]Quantum_Finger 2 points3 points ago

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Thanks for that. TIL

[–]lukeatron 17 points18 points ago

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TIWMD. Today I Was Made Dumber.

[–]anonymoustroll 3 points4 points ago

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Welcome to every day on Teh Intrahwebs...

...the only forgivable thing is that it makes you less dumber than broadcast television.

[–]Nirple 8 points9 points ago

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Uh... No...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chopper_(motorcycle)

A chopper is a type of motorcycle that was either modified from an original motorcycle design ("chopped") or built from scratch to have an authentic appearance.

[–][deleted] 13 points14 points ago

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Just because you get something right doesn't mean you have to bold it into oblivion.

[–]ForgettableUsername 5 points6 points ago

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If it wasn't bolded, how would we know it was correct?

[–]Pemby 0 points1 point ago

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Thank you for this explanation. I once saw something similar to this on the road, not quite as exaggerated but I was just like, WTF? It didn't help that the guy riding it was comically tiny.

[–]neonettech[S] 45 points46 points ago

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Well it surely keeps his armpits nice and dry!

[–]McParty 65 points66 points ago

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Steve Holt!

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]anonymoustroll 0 points1 point ago

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[–][deleted] 7 points8 points ago

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\o/ STEVE HOLT!

[–]bsolidgold 1 point2 points ago

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Dammit... now I have to go watch Arrested Development again...

[–]coombuyah26 2 points3 points ago

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Gah, beat me to it.

[–]motorcycledog 20 points21 points ago

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It's crazy, but I know that guy! Lives out in St. Charles County.

[–]kramboid 9 points10 points ago

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I live in St. Charles and see him every once in a while. Always seems to be having a blast.

[–]donnie0darko0 9 points10 points ago

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What high school did you go to? :D

[–]Sil369 11 points12 points ago

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ಠ_ಠ

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]hillgod 2 points3 points ago

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I like telling people CBC, looking at their face kind of light up, and quickly declaring, "That was a lie! I went to Eureka!" The reactions are always priceless.

I'm glad I live in Austin now.

[–]stereosaurus 2 points3 points ago

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Damn I was about to be like Eureka, no shit? And then I saw your username. Sup Nick.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Cocks Between Cheeks

[–]jade-E 1 point2 points ago

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indeed

[–]kramboid 1 point2 points ago

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Stalker...... Duchesne.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Francis Howell North Biotch!

[–]themooseiscool 0 points1 point ago

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Lafayette, sure had some.....times there.

[–]IncrediblyHungry 13 points14 points ago

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What is his justification for the ridiculous setup?

[–]motorcycledog 2 points3 points ago

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Too have the highest ape hangers around. I guess you gotta have a goal in life.

[–]jeffcityjon 2 points3 points ago

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I have seen him driving around before. He looks like an idiot going down the road.

[–]freezingprocess 4 points5 points ago

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St. Charles, eh? There is a shocker. (not)

[–]kentron 1 point2 points ago

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Hey mister, I live in St. Charles!

[–]CowFu 1 point2 points ago

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meet up at main street sometime?

//not a crazy stalker, 26-yr old male looking to have a beer with fellow redditors

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]freezingprocess 1 point2 points ago

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I live in Alton Illinois. I really can't say shit.

[–]Greenman851 4 points5 points ago

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He is probably a regular at Fast Eddie's Bonaire

[–]freezingprocess 2 points3 points ago

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Only a local could understand how funny that is.

[–]Greenman851 1 point2 points ago

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I'm actually from KC but my uncle is a professor at Wash. U. so I go to STL, and Alton/Grafton all the time.

[–]waitwutok 0 points1 point ago

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I'm in The OP.

[–]Greenman851 0 points1 point ago

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I'm sorry to hear that. ;)

I live in the 39th St W Area

[–]waitwutok 0 points1 point ago

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Johnson County Uber Alles

[–]Linktank 1 point2 points ago

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Cool, tell him he's an idiot for all of us...

[–]Identifier_of_Idiots 2 points3 points ago

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You have a bright future in my profession.

[–]motorcycledog 1 point2 points ago

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He has been told that quite a few times. It doesn't sink in.

[–]StraightfromSTL 0 points1 point ago

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ditto on the St. Chuck, I see this guy out around my town all the time. and he's not the only one with a bike that crazy

[–]00100100 15 points16 points ago

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I go to Sturgis every year and I haven't seen ape hangers that ridiculous yet. Then again, anything over your shoulders is illegal, and most places enforce it hard.

[–]oddmanout 6 points7 points ago*

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california, here. I see them over the shoulders all the time, it looks ridiculously uncomfortable. CA has some pretty strict car laws, i don't know about motorcycle laws, though. (although, they're allowed to split the lane here)

EDIT, looked it up, 15 inches above the seat is the law. There are a bunch of illegal bikes here.

[–]surfnaked 2 points3 points ago

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Funny thing, when they are right at your shoulders, maybe a little higher, they are super comfortable to use. Just a bit sketchy going around corners. On the road cruising though, they're the best. I think with that guy he borrowed his big bro's bike. Really big bro.

[–]BigLlamasHouse 4 points5 points ago

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Another thing they never enforce:

Straight pipes. Totally illegal, yet all over the place.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points ago

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And completely fucking infuriating, especially when you live right next to a road and are woken up at all times of the night by those assholes.

[–]kg8484 2 points3 points ago

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What's even more infuriating is the self-righteousness of those guys. You talk to one of them about it, and all you get back is "Loud Pipes Save Lives."

[–]GrammarBeImportant 1 point2 points ago

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How the fuck did they come up with that one?

[–]HammerJack 1 point2 points ago

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While I won't defend the people who have unnecessarily loud exhaust, I will attest to the fact that many people (2 wheels or 4) are stupid. I've been run off the road several times and my horn didn't do a thing to stop them.

It's argued that even if you can't see them, a loud exhaust will make sure they know you are there and until I see evidence to the contrary, I'm inclined to believe them.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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The problem is straight pipes make no more sound in front of you, only behind you, so yeah, you're safer from the guy pulling out behind you that didn't see you - which you would be safe from if you were invisible and silent. The guy that still can't hear your straight pipes and doesn't see you still pulls the fuck out and you t-bone him.

It's a bullshit argument made by old men who feel inadequate with their schlong making up for it with a loud motor.

[–]HammerJack 1 point2 points ago

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While most of the sound travels backwards, some will still move forwards, and unless they are doing better than Mach, you'll be able to hear them before you see them.

I say let them do it, once the lack of backpressure finishes off their engine it'll be quiet.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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All I'm saying is the sound from a normal muffled bike and a bike with straight pipes driving down the highway isn't noticeably different from in front of the bike, however, behind the bike it is significantly different.

The argument that straight pipes save lives is because it supposedly keeps people from cutting you off or pulling out in front of you - however, straight pipes simply are not loud enough from those angles to be worth the excessive noise behind the bike.

You know what would work better? These and these but they don't have the cool factor. If you really want to make the safety argument, come back after you have implemented some of that shit.

[–]Irnchkn 0 points1 point ago

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Everyone is trying to outdo everyone else's lack of consideration for their neighbors. I couldn't hear my television, indoors, with the windows closed, when one of these jerks rolls by. Glad I live somewhere other than California now.

[–]admiralteal 1 point2 points ago

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CA also has strict emissions standards for motorbikes, as I understand it. Almost as strict as the Taiwanese ones. That's pretty rare - generally the stuff motorbikes put out is halfway between CO2 and radioactive sludge.

[–]Irnchkn 0 points1 point ago

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But never enforced. People bolt their stock exhausts back on for the smog check.

[–]HammerJack 0 points1 point ago

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I think it's been changed.

[–]Irnchkn 0 points1 point ago

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Tough equipment laws and zero enforcement. Which explains all the illegal exhausts that never get fined.

[–]fierylungs 0 points1 point ago

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It is illegal in MO. I can't remember the actual measurement, but you're hands can't be more than x inches above your shoulders (or something to that effect.)

I've NEVER seen anyone pulled over for it and regularly see more than a few over the top ape hangers in my area.

[–]onethirtytwo 8 points9 points ago

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QUICK SOMEONE DO MCA

[–]ChipChopChip 6 points7 points ago

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How the hell can you do anything on that?

[–]this_time_i_mean_it 5 points6 points ago

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Well, it's pretty easy to cheer on one of those.

[–]benzine 8 points9 points ago

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Oh shi- gotta turn!! Gotta TURN!!! GOTTA TURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR-

SMASH!

[–]Sil369 2 points3 points ago

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into the hulk?

[–]kerrykerrykerry 10 points11 points ago

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Compensating much?

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points ago

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I live in st Louis. I went to the mills today and saw an empty bottle of Boone's farm on the concrete part of a "Parking for mommys to be" sign.

Not proud.

[–]potatohamster 0 points1 point ago

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That place really went down the toilet fast.

[–]baby_pan 4 points5 points ago

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That giant is going to be pissed when he realizes someone stole his motorcycle.

[–]donnie0darko0 6 points7 points ago

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Sure, this is in Missouri, but it doesn't strike me as an especially prototypical Missouri thing. (I'm from Missouri)

[–]potatohamster 1 point2 points ago

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I put about 12,000 miles on a car over 3 months driving all around Missouri and never saw anything this ridiculous.

[–]AustinMiniMan 1 point2 points ago

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I'm so sorry...

[–]potatohamster 0 points1 point ago

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Everything's what you make of it--it ended up being one of my best summers ever.

[–]thegreatgazoo 1 point2 points ago

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I think the most rediculous thing I've seen in the state was an old long bed pickup truck in the Ozarks. It had one of those giant camper shells on it (the type you can actually live in), and apparently it was too heavy so they welded in an extra axel behind the regular axel.

[–]bakedbiscuits 0 points1 point ago

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I saw a man hauling a trailer (no sides to it) with a fridge on it, once. Holding on to the fridge (for what looked like dear life) was a woman who had to at least be 80 years old. I love my state. Nothing surprises me anymore.

[–]donnie0darko0 2 points3 points ago

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You were probably in missouruh.

[–]bakedbiscuits 0 points1 point ago

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Correct! The Ozarks.

[–]fudgynubbles 2 points3 points ago

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That's just unreasonable.

[–]rbasov 2 points3 points ago

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I saw that same guy in Lawrence last week...That cannot be comfortable to ride like that

[–]eshemuta 2 points3 points ago

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Those are illegal in many states. In Ohio they can't be above your shoulders.

Besides, it just looks stupid.

[–]mcsharp 3 points4 points ago

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Hey I've lived in 13 States and now I live in Missouri! ....sadly, those idiots are everywhere. I guess it would be nice if they all lived in one state tho...so we could all avoid it until they blew themselves up.

[–]waitwutok 1 point2 points ago

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What's been your favorite place?

[–]tomparker 3 points4 points ago

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Missouri loves company.

[–]Mancalime 3 points4 points ago

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I'm from Missouri, and I'm pretty sure there's no such thing as "Only in Missouri...".

Depending what part of the state you're in, any actions/viewpoints/habits etc. could just as easily be associated with Arkansas, Iowa, Kansas, Nebraska, or Illinois.

Then again, maybe the inability to be classify anything as a "Missouri thing" is in fact a "Missouri thing"...

[–]saffir 2 points3 points ago

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These are extremely common in the Hispanic areas of California, especially Los Angeles and San Diego. They're called Ape Hangers because they make the rider look like an ape, plus one has to have the mental capability of an ape to want to ride like that.

They're illegal and a safety hazard. This coming from a fellow motorcycle rider.

[–]OniKoroshi 8 points9 points ago

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There is a reason ape hangers are illegal in CA. Missouri has it right though, keep them legal and prevent these people from procreating.

[–]anonymoustroll 1 point2 points ago

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by the time they've got enough money saved up to buy these things, they've probably knocked out a small brood of yard apes...

[–]suicide_king 1 point2 points ago

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what happens when he crosses the border?

[–]daesoph 1 point2 points ago

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He's always going WOOOOOOOOO!

[–]GIJew392 1 point2 points ago

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[–]Wolters 1 point2 points ago

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Ah here we see the lesser spotted Orangutan biker, vary rare indeed.

[–]crashcrashbenjamin 1 point2 points ago

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I wonder how long it takes for his hands to fall asleep.

[–]IvanMawesome 1 point2 points ago

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I never understood apehangers. they don't make dudes look badass. they make them look like little kids on oversized bikes.

[–]CulenTrey 1 point2 points ago

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That guy is just bad to the bone...

[–]sk8rgui 1 point2 points ago

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Ha, I have seen this guy at bike shows. Majorly retarded setup.

[–]Shins 1 point2 points ago

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[–]neonettech[S] 0 points1 point ago

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that's the most ridiculous bike & biker I've ever seen.

[–]skilluminati 6 points7 points ago

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I don't like to prejudge people, but I'm certain his friends and family would agree that he's an asshole.

[–]dirtymoney 1 point2 points ago

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Yep. Missouri IS awesome.

[–]msalstrom -2 points-1 points ago

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I really hate Missouri

[–]00100100 7 points8 points ago

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I live in MO, and I agree.....damn helmet law.

[–][deleted] -4 points-3 points ago

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Are you serious? The chances of dying when riding without a helmet is so great, you're pretty much going to die if you get in a crash. The helmet saves the state a lot of money in cleaning up your blood off the highway, not to mention the fact that it saves your life and doesn't get your family to start crying.

[–]Doctadrew 13 points14 points ago

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I think he was being sarcastic.

[–]00100100 1 point2 points ago

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Ya, he didn't get it obviously.

[–]SLOWchildrenplaying 3 points4 points ago

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Your grammar is atrocious for a Nazi.

[–]Randomresponder 0 points1 point ago

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Noe; he aint sirius"

[–]jtt25c -3 points-2 points ago

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Fuck You, Missouri is the greatest state in the Midwest!

[–]2manyopinions 2 points3 points ago

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Key phrase there is "in the Midwest"

[–]msalstrom 0 points1 point ago

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[–]wteknight 0 points1 point ago

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Weeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!

[–]reddonk 0 points1 point ago

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Why.

[–]chirodiesel 0 points1 point ago

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Fuck you, I'm an anteat....errr biker!!!!

[–]Phantom_Scarecrow[!] 0 points1 point ago

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They're legal in Pennsylvania. They repealed the "No more than 18" from the seat" law a few years ago. Here's a good site that outlines MC laws, state-by-state. http://www.bikerplaza.com/motorcycle-law.html

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Throws your hands in the air, wave arou... BANG!

[–]Liefx 0 points1 point ago

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He's just really enthusiastic about biking.

[–]kevmondiors 0 points1 point ago

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Why would anyone do that to the Wario bike?

[–]jessesomething 0 points1 point ago

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I just... don't get it.

[–]brotherwest 0 points1 point ago

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james?

[–]ageoflife 0 points1 point ago

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Is there a reason they put the handlebars so high up, or is that just to look cool?

[–]Ricktron3030 0 points1 point ago

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I bet that corners like a boss.

[–]hidigidy42 0 points1 point ago

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Mmm pinching nerves in the shoulder... lovely xD

[–]Pinilla 0 points1 point ago

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I live in St. Louis and saw a guy driving one of these at the gas station the other day. Pretty freaking hilarious.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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What a fucking idiot...

[–]TheSpecialK 0 points1 point ago

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I throw my hands up in the air sometimes!!!

[–]livinlifeman 0 points1 point ago

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thats pretty safe...

[–]theanswerisfries 0 points1 point ago

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I love to feel the wind whistling through my pits.

[–]cdoublejj 0 points1 point ago

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While i don't like it, i don't think it should be impounded for all you know that guy spent a really long time making it. how about we impound something you like.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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It's not a matter of liking the look. Ape hangers make it neigh impossible to steer in an emergency where you need to swerve. I could spend a long time making a spike that hangs off the back of my vehicle that is aimed at the head of the driver behind me, I'd still have to tie a red ribbon on it to protect other drivers.

[–]cdoublejj 0 points1 point ago

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good point i won't argue that, i guess there is a line between irresponsible and art.

[–]Samsador 0 points1 point ago

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So much feeling lost in arms!

[–]Phraenk 0 points1 point ago

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Had you not shown me, I would not have believed this.

[–]BenCelotil 0 points1 point ago

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"Right turn, Clyde."

[–]schumo 0 points1 point ago

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classy... yet unrefined

[–]SwirlStick 0 points1 point ago

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I hope to goodness this is fake...if not that is seriously dangerous and I don't think his mother would approve.

[–]QoolNQalm 0 points1 point ago

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...why?

[–]anonymous-coward 0 points1 point ago

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Add some weights and pulleys to that puppy, and you're all set to do lat pulldowns.

[–]esokies 0 points1 point ago

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"Smell my pits bitch!!"

[–]ryan101 0 points1 point ago

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Missouri Department of Transportation office next right... Perhaps he should swing by there and ask about state motorcycle law.

[–]adamhos 0 points1 point ago

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I've seen giant ape hangers like that in Ohio. Most bikes don't have them that big, but a few do. I have no idea how they ride like that.

[–]DiabloKing 0 points1 point ago

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Ahaha hope thats not his daily driver lmao..

[–]harvesteroftruth 0 points1 point ago

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Did anyone notice the exhaust pipes in the back?

[–]yoshisakan 0 points1 point ago

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Those bring new meaning to "Ape Hangers."

[–]VeryClever 0 points1 point ago

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It always amazes me the disconnect between how cool this guy thinks he is and what a fucking attention whore everyone else knows he is.

[–]fuzzb0y 0 points1 point ago

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Someone tickle his armpits quick.

[–]luhjan 0 points1 point ago

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no dude, it looks totally normal your right.

[–]suspencer 0 points1 point ago

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This is the point at which they stopped being sissy bars and started being monkey bars.

[–]9ren[!] 0 points1 point ago

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\o/

[–]shifty_eyed_Jew 0 points1 point ago

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He fell and died shortly after this picture was taken.

[–]DarkoftheMoon 0 points1 point ago

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This guy doesn't look like he's in misery?

[–]netgod2002 0 points1 point ago

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You're doing it wrong!

[–]warmnutella 0 points1 point ago

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when he rear ends someone we all yell TOUCHDOWN!!!

[–]onis14 0 points1 point ago

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It's nice to see Americans catching up to the Bosozoku.

[–]j-bix666 0 points1 point ago

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I love/hate my home state.

[–]teh_colonel 0 points1 point ago

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I've lived in Missouri my whole life and this is the first one I've seen. But I think you'll find that stupidity isn't native to just one state.

[–]zwingll 0 points1 point ago

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awww look he wants to be tickled!

[–]JoeyIaguessa 0 points1 point ago

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This is an accurate example of why I hate this state.

[–]me0w 0 points1 point ago

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It's Wario!

[–]Indiv0 0 points1 point ago

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I put my hands up, playin' my song..

[–]ForkMeVeryMuch 0 points1 point ago

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"Is that legal?" he asked incredulously.

[–]mr_nonsense 0 points1 point ago

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On Sporcle's quiz of the 50 states, Missouri is the least often answered. So this guy was obviously just trying to raise his state's profile.

[–]STLbleedsblue 0 points1 point ago

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I live in St. Louis and I have seen this guy!

[–]mmca 0 points1 point ago

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Any higher and he won't be able to reach the handles.

[–]nothingswrong 0 points1 point ago

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Blood flow?

[–]MyFantasticTesticles 0 points1 point ago

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I was sure that was photoshopped until I found another picture of the same bike

[–]jutct 0 points1 point ago

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That looks like a really efficient method of thinning the gene pool.

[–]PimpMogul 0 points1 point ago

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This is so ridiculous, I LOLed for a good minute.

[–]nikiu 0 points1 point ago

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It looks like he's hitting the gym.

[–]pahncrd 0 points1 point ago

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He should probably lawyer up.

[–]anonymoustroll 0 points1 point ago

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I doubt he has a facebook profile to delete...

[–]anonymoustroll 0 points1 point ago

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Ah yes... Missouri, the "Show Me [because I can't read]" state.