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all 162 comments

[–]longhare 143 points144 points ago

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I don't understand how anyone can have such poor awareness of their own body that they miscalculate both the height and position of their jump by more than a foot.

[–][deleted] 116 points117 points ago

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I hope everyone gets the true impact of this statement. It is not that she missed the bar or missed the bag. She missed the Earth. She completely and in every possible way failed to provide even remotely enough force to raise her body past her own ass. What did she think was going to happen?

Really, the only possible explanation is that she is from a much lower gravity environment and she is not accustomed to ours.

[–]CeeBmata 5 points6 points ago

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She was banking in the power of prayer and to quote my old pal Willy.

Willy Wonka: You get nothing! You lose! Good day sir! or ma'am.

[–]paolog 4 points5 points ago

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I think she got the fact that you have to lean backwards, but that bit comes once you get level with the bar, not just as you're taking your feet off the ground.

[–]sawu 13 points14 points ago

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Or high.

[–]Caedus_Vao 1 point2 points ago

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Upvote for me spitting all over my screen.

[–]longhare 0 points1 point ago

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Or she gained weight

[–]VicePresidente 42 points43 points ago

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Dude, QWOP is hard!

[–]whiterabbittracks 13 points14 points ago

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my theory is that people like the girl in this video, as children growing up and getting used to their bodies, never did any normal kid stuff like climbing trees or jumping off/over things - perhaps they where over-protected and kept inside, forbidden to jump on the bed or slide down the banister. Thus, they never really developed the awareness of/control over their bodies that adult humans are supposed to have. So they go through life like a 6-week old puppy who attempts to jump onto the couch but ends up smashing into it landing on it's back on the floor.

[–]schroefoe 2 points3 points ago

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I was the type of kid that was up and down cliffs, running through the woods, and doing all that "normal kid stuff" and never really developed good body control. I'm a klutz; maybe naturally. Sometimes it's like my brain doesn't fire right or something, because I've tripped over my own feet and smashed my face into the floor before.

[–]whiterabbittracks 0 points1 point ago

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well, it's one thing to be a bit clumsy and sometimes trip over yourself, but I've met a few people who are sorta like the girl in this vid in that, while doing anything more complicated than walking down the sidewalk, they seem to have less instinctive control over their bodies than a 16-year-old brand-new driver does over a pickup truck with a manual transmission. There are some people out there for whom the problem definitely goes beyond just being clumsy/a klutz, whether the theory I posted above is correct or not.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]calvados 0 points1 point ago

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That was me you saw.

[–]cschema 5 points6 points ago

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A foot? More like a meter!

[–]slacker22 2 points3 points ago

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She was attempting Heisenberg arbitrage.

[–]wild_oats 0 points1 point ago

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I think she was probably concentrating on jumping off her right* leg, so she did so prematurely rather than make a new run. When you practice this jump you learn where to start from so that your timing is correct.

[–]Megatron_McLargeHuge 0 points1 point ago

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She probably watched Olympic athletes do it and timed her jump as if she had their speed and vertical jump. She had no idea how much less altitude and hang time she'd get. I think our perceptions are off because we watch professionals in slow motion, and movie special effects that reduce gravity.

I did something kind of similar as a kid, trying to do a back flip off of hanging rings in a park. I let go far too soon because I overestimated how fast I was rotating and fell on my face. You see people make a similar mistake riding bikes off of ramps because they're used to the Dukes of Hazzard type jumps and don't realize that their front wheel will start falling while the back is still on the ramp.

[–]anexanhume 36 points37 points ago

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It would appear her family tree has some fainting goats in it.

[–]EarthRester 13 points14 points ago

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That or some loops...

[–]kevdubs 21 points22 points ago

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I don't understand all te bobbing and weaving...why doesnt she just run straight up to it

[–]akatherder 25 points26 points ago

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They always jump with their back over the bar, rather than head first. I assume she was emulating them so she need to come in from the side like that.

[–]BillHaverchuck 1 point2 points ago

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not necessarily, there is an older style of high jump where you basically try to dive over the bar and do a flip to try to get your legs over as well

[–]art-iii 10 points11 points ago

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How many people still do that?

[–]rescueball 9 points10 points ago

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Yes, that is an older style that is not used any more.

[–]fermi196 6 points7 points ago

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looks like a failed fosbury flop

[–]dlbear 0 points1 point ago

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The flop looks really do-able, but I always did better with the dive.

[–]theXarf 0 points1 point ago

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I always did the flop when I was at school because I couldn't begin to get my head round how else to get over the bar. I wasn't good at any type of sport.

[–]ricktencity 0 points1 point ago

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I switched between the flop and scissor kick depending on the day.

[–]Nirple 0 points1 point ago

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That sport never made sense to me. If you don't have a mat waiting for you on the other side you die. How is that useful?

[–]sars_kills 6 points7 points ago

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I think she's wearing beer goggles.

[–]Vv0rd 1 point2 points ago

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High jump takeoffs need be done off one foot.

[–]axehandle 47 points48 points ago

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She just assumed she had to lay on her back.

[–]Mrubuto 29 points30 points ago

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cause shes blonde

[–]jerstud56 5 points6 points ago

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'Cause she's a fish.

[–]jsmayne 15 points16 points ago

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that joke flopped

[–]unrelated_topic 3 points4 points ago

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Cause she's a gay fish.

[–]belladonnadiorama -1 points0 points ago

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Funny, she doesn't look like Kanye West.

[–]unrelated_topic -1 points0 points ago

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But she likes fish dicks...

[–]justcasual 0 points1 point ago

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mmmmmmmmmm fish sticks

[–]timoleon 7 points8 points ago

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For certain females, that's their universal problem-solving approach ...

[–]cschema 0 points1 point ago

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Fits with her High School nick name of 'Old Mattress Back'

[–]BoredBeyondBelief 4 points5 points ago

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i prefer this (NSFW) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ivVxvQlSbOw

aired at 2.00 pm in the "Sunday Family Show" of one of the network owned by Mr. Berlusconi, and, obviously she was owned too (by Mr. Berlsuconi, of course)

[–]JimmerUK 1 point2 points ago

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That gave me the opposite of a Fosbury Flop.

[–]popepeterjames 6 points7 points ago

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And for those who hate grainy animated gifs.... here's the YouTube video

[–]sto79be 1 point2 points ago

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Thankyou, I don't understand why people keep submitting gifs of videos. You lose the sound and quality, the load times are often unbearable, and a lot of smartphones like Android can't display animated gifs!

[–][deleted] 17 points18 points ago

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Why does she keep doing it?!

[–]stinkylibrary 19 points20 points ago

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She stops at around the 10 minute mark and takes her shirt off.

[–]kungtotte 2 points3 points ago

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You son of a bitch!

[–]basically 3 points4 points ago

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The build-up is the best part of this whole GIF.

[–]dbe 31 points32 points ago

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No they said you couldn't jump because you were white.

[–][deleted] 25 points26 points ago

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Highest jump ever recorded by was a white dude (clean/ no steriods)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Patrik_Sj%C3%B6berg

[–]OberlinBillyGoat 9 points10 points ago

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That first paragraph is so awkward.

Jan Niklas Patrik Sjöberg (born 5 January 1965 in Gothenburg, Västra Götaland) is a former Swedish high jumper and previous world record holder. With 2.42 metres (7 ft 11.3 in), he holds the Swedish as well as the European record in men's high jump. His 2.42m is the best jump in history for anyone who has not tested positive for performance-enhancing drugs, as Javier Sotomayor tested positive for nandrolone. However, Sotomayor bettered that mark several times and didn't test positive on any of those occasions. He is also a two time world indoor record holder with marks of 2.38 m (1985) and 2.41 m (1987).

[–]DietColaWithLime 13 points14 points ago

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Hey. Guess what. It's Wikipedia. Click edit and clean it up.

[–]OberlinBillyGoat 3 points4 points ago*

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You're right. I thought about it but I was concerned about Wikipedia etiquette. It's cool to just change something without any notice or discussion?

Edit: Never mind, just saw you've already answered my question.

[–]karnoculars 2 points3 points ago

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I've never understood how Wikipedia works. So anyone can just go in there and edit pages? Is there any kind of check in place to make sure people aren't trolling?

[–]DietColaWithLime 6 points7 points ago

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Yes. The check is other people and a log of every edit ever made. Vandalism is usually fixed very quickly.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

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Good explanation. If karnoculars is interested in more detail, he should read this page from the original wiki.

[–]palparepa 1 point2 points ago

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[–]rwgordon 3 points4 points ago

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I've seen this one hundred times before, but fuck it's good.

[–]CheatasaurusRex 3 points4 points ago

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Adage fail:

Tis better to not try than to do this.

[–]bboytriple7 1 point2 points ago

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Protip: Don't stare directly into the Sun the moment before you jump.

[–]mrsbatman 1 point2 points ago

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I'm the first to admit that I am terrible at most sports... but WTF did I just see?!

[–]Wolfmanatee 1 point2 points ago

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She has to be high. I refuse to believe that people not on magic mushrooms could embody such a huge disparity between mind and muscle.

[–]thedailyaustin 1 point2 points ago

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[–]h8mx 1 point2 points ago

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Is that just the shadow of her cap or is she blindfolded? That would explain the wobbling and lack of awareness.

[–]NickDK 1 point2 points ago

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There does seem to be a possibility that the entire reddit population is laughing with a blind girl that insists on participating in PE just like a normal kid..

The footage still remains hilarious though!

[–]homertone 1 point2 points ago

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There's always the extremely rare possibility that she's just a cool chick who made a funny joke at the risk of sustaining an injury. Right? crickets

[–]Chamanzan 16 points17 points ago

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Making sandwiches doesn't prepare you this type of activity.

[–]Messiah -1 points0 points ago

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r/fixmeasandwich

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points ago

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So sick of that video. New rule: once Tosh shows it, it's been officially fully circulated.

[–][deleted] 36 points37 points ago

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Well then I guess it's a good thing I don't watch his show.

Because I haven't seen it.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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The best thing about being a girl is that as long as you are hot, nobody gives a shit.

[–]evileddy 2 points3 points ago

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Wrong. Times have changed and hot girls are commonplace.

Hot girls with hot personalities aren't.

[–]kore464 1 point2 points ago

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[–]unrelated_topic 2 points3 points ago

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Blondes gonna blonde.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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there is however no more epic jump than this one : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V7N9INphoOg

[–]wippanegg 0 points1 point ago

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That video needs way more footage of him just standing around waiting for the jump.

[–]MorbidPenguin -1 points0 points ago

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I give you a 5.6

[–]NoMoreJustice 1 point2 points ago

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A bit generous, don't you think...

[–]JimmerUK 7 points8 points ago

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It was out of 100.

[–]Capt_Icanhas 0 points1 point ago

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Welcome to internets

[–]NIK4EVA 0 points1 point ago

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... and then the gravity took over.

[–]Evilmd 0 points1 point ago

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Funnier than the special olympics!

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Turanga Leela?

[–]ChrisMaga 0 points1 point ago

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Thanks for the laugh, prepare for upvote arrival.

[–]Messiah 0 points1 point ago

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what is this from?

[–]Caedus_Vao 0 points1 point ago

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I love how in this day and age, it's possible to capture an exponentially greater amount of FAIL than we could a decade ago, and make it all public domain.

Brings a tear to your eye, really.

[–]frobischer 0 points1 point ago

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She swerves on the way to the jump. Did she spin around to get dizzy before doing this?

[–]emptythecache 0 points1 point ago

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I used to be able to high jump 5'10". I just had to put that out there. I miss being in shape.

[–]Essplosions 0 points1 point ago

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Nope... it's cause you're drunk.

[–]collidge 0 points1 point ago

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does everyone's mum run like this?

[–]collidge 0 points1 point ago

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does everyone's mum run like this?

[–]BenTG 0 points1 point ago

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This had to be immediately after spinning around with her head on the end of a baseball bat or some other wacky dizzying experience.

[–]formfactor 0 points1 point ago

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Now imagine how this moron drives. And she would probably get mad at me for flipping her off for driving in the fast lane.

[–]TheLoneWander101 0 points1 point ago

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she sliped on an invisible banana peel

[–]acllr12 0 points1 point ago

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hahaha that was an epic fail!

[–]shame_brigade 0 points1 point ago

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Holy shit, this is awesome! Did you make this?

[–]duggar62[!] 0 points1 point ago

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like a boss

[–]punkjabi 0 points1 point ago

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Why is she wearing sunglasses? Anyone consider the possibility that she might be visually impaired?

[–]Jukepot 0 points1 point ago

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Wow, you can tell how incredibly out-of-touch she is with her body.

[–]RandoAtReddit 0 points1 point ago

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Don't listen to the sexist hatred. You can't jump because you're white.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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My guess: They were messing around and having fun by spinning around in circles before attempting to do whatever it is that you call that. That would explain... pretty much everything.

[–]davidjlowe 0 points1 point ago

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Are you kidding me?? 162 comments on this video?! Big disappointment.

[–]demongirl 0 points1 point ago

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As a former high jumper I can ask, "What the hell was the cameraman doing standing almost EXACTLY where needed to be running?!"
It seems obvious she didn't really know what to do, but you can't properly gain the momentum without running to the side of the mat and turning toward it. On the other hand, the bar was ridiculously low. She could've just hopped over it. Eh.

[–]deadthoughts 0 points1 point ago

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That was some Charlie Brown shit.

[–]HandBananaHammock 0 points1 point ago

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Successsss!!!!

[–]Youcanthandleit -2 points-1 points ago

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I think this proves that women are inferior in every single conceivable way

[–]MattaU 0 points1 point ago

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drunk?

[–]nerdfighterelle -5 points-4 points ago

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Oh look. the same video thats been posted on reddit a million different times with different titles... but this time the title is sexist. My favorite!

[–]karl_hungus 5 points6 points ago

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Well, I've never seen it before and I enjoyed it.

But if you're saying that the title is sexist because it makes fun of the scientific FACT that women cannot jump as high as men (IT'S SCIENCE), then you are correct, SIR/madam.

[–]ricerfuel 0 points1 point ago

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Never seen it.

[–]FuchsiaGauge -5 points-4 points ago

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Nobody said that. You just interjected it to make fun of girls in general. Sucking any funny out of the entire thing.

[–]whiskeytango -3 points-2 points ago

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I thought it was pretty funny. Get the sand out of your vag.

[–]RYuukiG -1 points0 points ago

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you fail! but thanks for trying!

[–]cuddle_bunnies_suck -4 points-3 points ago

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why the fuck would you jump then?