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all 67 comments

[–]pseudolobster 34 points35 points ago

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People need to use shan't more in daily conversations. It's a great word.

[–]Lumburg 9 points10 points ago

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Lugubrious.

[–]noonches 9 points10 points ago

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Risible

[–]pseudolobster 5 points6 points ago

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Copacetic.

[–]AerialAmphibian 7 points8 points ago

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Cromulent

[–]noonches 2 points3 points ago

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Assal Horizontology

[–]jaxspider 10 points11 points ago

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Thrice!

[–]Admiral_Cuddles 2 points3 points ago

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As in: "I wish I could upvote you not once, not twice, but thrice!"

[–]MyCousinAtticus 1 point2 points ago

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Regicide.

[–]red97 0 points1 point ago

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Scrumtrulescent.

[–]getDense 0 points1 point ago

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Syzygy.

[–]ryuujinusa 0 points1 point ago

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nice

[–]freemanx89 1 point2 points ago

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I just used this in a paper. Thanks!

[–]InfinitePower 1 point2 points ago

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What about you? Do you find it... WISIBWE? When I say the name... BIGGUS...DICKUS?

[–]relevant_rule34 26 points27 points ago

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Customers Who Bought Related Items Also Bought: A Darth Vader Dildo - NSFW

[–]foocs 48 points49 points ago

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Might take a bit of force to get that in.

[–]Rahvel -4 points-3 points ago

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Come on people! 13 points? This is comment gold!

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points ago

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Nice try, foocs' other account.

[–]msbrooklyn -1 points0 points ago

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AHHAHAHAAHHAHA uber points for starwars reference :P

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Almost there...

[–]jaxspider 3 points4 points ago

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Those sick fucks, putting (slave outfit) princess leia in the background of a Vader dildo. This is basically indirect incest.

DO WANT / ME GUSTA

[–]relevant_rule34 13 points14 points ago

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Yep -NSFW

[–]jaxspider 1 point2 points ago

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Thats it. You have been too good to me. I don't want to lose you to someone else.

/ Gets on one knee.

relevant_rule34 will you marry me?

[–]relevant_rule34 8 points9 points ago

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Sees you get on one knee

/Slowly unzips crotch

[–]Wofiel 2 points3 points ago

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That sounds painful. You should just stick to unzipping pants, bro.

[–]jaxspider 0 points1 point ago

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I didn't say to stop!

[–]SirTodd 0 points1 point ago

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Took me a while(to notice), but it appears she doesn't have arms.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]relevant_rule34 8 points9 points ago

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[–]betweenwritingbugs -2 points-1 points ago

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I admire your ability to type keywords into google and post the results for karma.

You're one of the many heroes of the new internet's gift culture. You don't really produce anything per se, but you get along anyhow.

[–]imanewbie 1 point2 points ago

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this satisfies rule 34?

[–]wiseguy68 0 points1 point ago

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ONLY 12.99$ !?!?

[–]SmoothWD40 0 points1 point ago

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Yeah that's what I thought, specially for a Star Wars product. Should have been 3 easy payments of $39.99

[–]tcquad 7 points8 points ago

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If you buy cheap novelty condoms, you still might be.

[–]ryuujinusa 0 points1 point ago

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so true, cheap shit rips so easily. stick to the Trojans imo

[–]VeryAngryRaptor 4 points5 points ago

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[–]faiiq 8 points9 points ago

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I will not be!

FTFY

[–]yellowstone10 5 points6 points ago

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English pedantry time! "Will" is in fact correct here. There are two sorts of future tense - a simple future with no emotional considerations; and a future with a sense of insistence, desire, or command. Simple future is expressed with "shall" in the first person and "will" in the second and third person, hence "I shall set my alarm for 7:30" and "Bob will love this thing I found on Reddit." This is reversed for the other sense of the future tense, e.g. "Victory shall be ours!" or "I will not be dissuaded by your cunning argument."

If Vader said "I shall not be your father," that would be a simple statement of fact, that he will not at some point in the future pass on genetic information. "I will not be your father," on the other hand, expresses a strong inclination for fatherhood not to occur.

The old joke that illustrates the difference: cry "I shall drown! Nobody will help me!" and you might get saved if there's someone in earshot; cry "I will drown! Nobody shall help me!" and folks will respect your wishes for an aquatic death.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]VisualBasic 0 points1 point ago

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I'd prefer to see this duplicated on a daily basis so I can enjoy it every day.

PROBLEM?

[–]Time8u 1 point2 points ago

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So, what Darth Vader is saying is: "There is a baby.... It's not mine. I cannot, however, say the same thing for guy using this novelty condom."

[–]FiredFox 1 point2 points ago

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Credit to the artist:

Chibi Darth Vader was originally drawn by Joe Wight

Don't know who did the caption though.

[–]Knotwood 1 point2 points ago

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NEVER let the girl give you or hold the condom.

[–]msbrooklyn 1 point2 points ago

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this reminds me of a good star wars quote "luke use the force, im out of lube"

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]Blow_That_Job[S] 0 points1 point ago

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I'll take two dozens

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]Blow_That_Job[S] 0 points1 point ago

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Good one, mister.

[–]ethanol 0 points1 point ago

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So they finally invented lightsaber sheaths.

[–]jaxspider 1 point2 points ago

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[–]carolevale 0 points1 point ago

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I shall not be your mother

[–]inuyome1008 0 points1 point ago

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This is the only type of condom my husband will ever be allowed to use :|

[–]nicholmikey 0 points1 point ago

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I guess daddy doesn't use condoms.

[–]mcglock 0 points1 point ago

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unless your force is too strong, nawmean?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Love it!

[–]king_of_the_universe 0 points1 point ago

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I wonder if they paid Lucas. Cause they have to and should.

[–]TaxExempt 0 points1 point ago

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Yeah. Cause if you carry that, you probably aren't gettin laid.

[–]mnlg 0 points1 point ago

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That's true... that's possible!

[–]shoegazer666 0 points1 point ago

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Old.

[–]Blow_That_Job[S] 0 points1 point ago

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I just woke up to all of these comments. Redditors always make my day :)

[–]another_brick 0 points1 point ago

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Good thing this has only been posted a million times.

[–]Blow_That_Job[S] 1 point2 points ago

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Amen! Now it has been posted 1,000,001 times.

[–]ronmexico79 0 points1 point ago

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Do you have to wear those things even when she's just giving great helmet?

[–]bmfalconer 0 points1 point ago

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Where can I buy these?

[–]Blow_That_Job[S] 0 points1 point ago

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I'll provide you my paypal account in a PM. Donate $9.99 and I'll send you a pack of 12. btw use the Promo-code THESEDONOTEXIST and you'll get 90% off ;)

[–]islandstyls 0 points1 point ago

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Reminds me of the super bowl commercial mini-darth vader. Brilliant condom wrapper. A good laugh before sex is always in good order.

[–]sniperinthebushes -1 points0 points ago

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"Fucking repost this is, kill yourself you must"

                                           -Oh_Hai_Yoda