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top 200 commentsshow all 335

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]andrewsmith1986 139 points140 points ago

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Well, that pear shaped loser was me! And I was in that photo, until I broke in here, stole the photograph and airbrushed myself out of there!

[–]Zoney 150 points151 points ago

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You have lost a lot of hair!

[–]usuallyskeptical 163 points164 points ago

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I'M AWARE!

[–]TopicalSeinfeldQuote 24 points25 points ago

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That's what they tell me!

[–]cybercobra 1 point2 points ago

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(nods) Keep it up!

[–]wiseguy68 2 points3 points ago

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always wondered what airbrushed meant..

like, photoshop version 2.0 ?

[–]sacrilege 19 points20 points ago

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[–]Lochlan 5 points6 points ago

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Happy Reddit Birthday!

[–]_JustinCase 11 points12 points ago

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When this episode aired Photoshop 4.0 was already available!

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Here you go, airbrushed in to sand and sky.

What did you do here! You took out the wrong guy!

[–]Book8 8 points9 points ago

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with a pinkish hue?

[–]CySurflex 4 points5 points ago

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more of a rosy glow

[–]pmax 1 point2 points ago

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A pinkish hue?

[–]TopicalSeinfeldQuote 2 points3 points ago

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Thunder stolen.

[–]dietrhombi 1 point2 points ago

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Wrong sitcom

[–]just_another_crowd 143 points144 points ago

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oh yeah?

WELL I HAD SEX WITH YOUR WIFE

[–]marinasdiamond 66 points67 points ago

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The jerk store called!

[–]JoelDaMan 59 points60 points ago

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..and they're running outta' you!

[–]HighlyUnnecessary 52 points53 points ago

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What's the difference, you're their all-time best seller!

[–]JoelDaMan 8 points9 points ago

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..yeah well the life support machine called and..

turns car around

[–]eromitlab 2 points3 points ago

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You're beat, Reilly! You just screwed yourself!

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points ago

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Yeah well, the ocean called. They want their shrimp back!

[–]pikindaguy 19 points20 points ago

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"They're running out of shrimp."

[–]usuallyskeptical 37 points38 points ago

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...His wife is in a coma...

[–]xylander_vj 7 points8 points ago

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serenity now serenity now!!!

[–]illiniry 4 points5 points ago

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Yeah? Well the life support machine called and...

[–]ericarlen 8 points9 points ago

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...they're running out of shrimp?

[–]JoelDaMan 1 point2 points ago

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turns car around

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Oh...no wonder she didn't move around a lot.

[–]Homesickblues 61 points62 points ago

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"Is anyone here a marine biologist?"

[–]kaellinn18 13 points14 points ago

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Is that a Titleist?!

[–]RachelRTR 9 points10 points ago

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Hole in one.

[–]andrewsmith1986 20 points21 points ago

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WOOAAHHHHH big fella!

[–]frickindeal 55 points56 points ago

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The sea was angry that day my friends, like an old man trying to send back soup in a deli.

[–]reddittrees2 19 points20 points ago

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I got about 50 feet out and suddenly the great beast appeared before me. I tell ya he was ten stories high if he was a foot. As if sensing my presence he let out a great bellow. I said "Easy! big fella." and then as I watched him struggling I realized that something was obstructing it's breathing.

From where I was standing I could see directly into the eye of the great fish. Mammal. Whatever. Then, from out of nowhere, a huge tidal wave lifted me, tossed me like a cork and I found myself right on top of him, face to face with the blowhole. I could barely see with the waves crashing down on me but I knew something was there so I reached my hand in, felt around and pulled out the obstruction!

[–]forevercabron 5 points6 points ago

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What is that, a Titlelist?

[–]hseldon10 5 points6 points ago

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A hole in one!

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

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Do you know that you can buy the soup nazi's soup? I saw it in the store just the other day. Couldn't believe it. It had a pic of him on the can. When I grabbed the can from the shelf an angry voice from out of nowhere yelled, "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!!"

[–]TheAmazingWJV 1 point2 points ago

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Jamalaya!

[–]marquella 1 point2 points ago

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ELAINE: I don't want soup. I can make my own soup. " 5 cups chopped Porcine mushrooms, half a cup of olive oil, 3 pounds celery."
SOUP NAZI: That is my recipe for wild mushroom.
ELAINE: Yeah, that's right. I got 'em all. Cold cucumber, corn and crab chowder, mulligatawny.
SOUP NAZI: Mulliga...tawny?
ELAINE: You're through Soup Nazi. Pack it up. No more soup for you. Next!

[–]ropers 60 points61 points ago

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[–]hapagolucky 9 points10 points ago

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I was hoping to see this. Can you do the one where the clerk mistook Krueger for George because of his baldness (i.e. the one where Krueger is airbrushed out)?

[–]Beezle 50 points51 points ago

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[–]chrismatic 9 points10 points ago

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Came just for this. Thank you!

[–]gefiltefishblues 1 point2 points ago

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i just came from this.

[–]GorillaButt 2 points3 points ago

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Heeey, I had to draw that from memory! Considering, I think that's damn good!

[–]european_son[S] 2 points3 points ago

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I was waiting for someone to post this with a "FTFY"

[–]pooskate2003 271 points272 points ago

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Believe it or not George isn't at home, please leave a message... at the beep

[–]HyperspaceHero 106 points107 points ago

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I must be out or I'd pick up the phone...

[–]patrickbeam 112 points113 points ago

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Where could I be?

[–]Fedor1 86 points87 points ago

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Believe it or not, I'm not home.

[–]whothehellispat2 67 points68 points ago

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George, pick up! I know you're screening for Allison!

[–]jerkonlylurks 43 points44 points ago

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Hey!

[–]GeorgePlimpton 55 points56 points ago

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Been trying to meet you.

[–]edahs 31 points32 points ago

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must be a devil between us

[–]DrBobert 35 points36 points ago

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Or whores in my head

[–]dkat 8 points9 points ago

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Whores at the door

[–]casiopt10 13 points14 points ago

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Never change, reddit.

[–]reddittrees2 18 points19 points ago

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George are you there? I hate that stupid message. Look, I'm at the office please call me, we need to talk.

[–]patriarchyftw 12 points13 points ago

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Allison? I guess you're not at home...I probably should have tried you at the office.

[–]0mega9401 2 points3 points ago

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georgey

[–]kruunch 14 points15 points ago

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I read that in his mom's voice.

GEOOOORGGGGYYYYY

[–]prince_nerd 5 points6 points ago

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GEORGEYYY... I leave you for 2 minutes and you treat your body like an amusement park...

[–]joopndufus 55 points56 points ago

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AHAHAHHA, I SAW THAT SHOW AND REMEMBER THAT QUOTE TOO!!!

[–]pooskate2003 35 points36 points ago

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NO WAY!

[–]lopsiness 6 points7 points ago

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[–]ThatGirl_Tasha 3 points4 points ago

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That has to have been the most depressing theme song for any superhero ever. But of course, it came from an era of depressing TV theme songs.

Cheers made a person downright suicidal.

[–]ericarlen 10 points11 points ago

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The theme to M*A*S*H was "Suicide is Painless." Lyrics:

Through early morning fog I see

Visions of the things to be

The pains that are withheld for me

I realize and I can see...

[CHORUS]

That suicide is painless

It brings on many changes

And I can take or leave it if I please...

I try to find a way to make

All our little joys relate

Without that ever-present hate

But now I know that it's too late, and...

[Chorus]

The game of life is hard to play

I'm gonna lose it anyway

The losing card I'll someday lay

So this is all I have to say.

[Chorus]

The only way to win is cheat

And lay it down before I'm beat

And to another give my seat

For that's the only painless feat.

[Chorus]

The sword of time will pierce our skins

It doesn't hurt when it begins

But as it works its way on in

The pain grows stronger...watch it grin, but...

[Chorus]

A brave man once requested me

To answer questions that are key

Is it to be or not to be

And I replied 'oh why ask me?'

[Chorus]

'Cause suicide is painless

It brings on many changes

And I can take or leave it if I please.

...And you can do the same thing if you please.

[–]trombloney 4 points5 points ago

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Beleive it or not, George isn't at home, please leave a message at the beep
I must've gone out, or else I'd pick up the phone
Where could I be?
Believe it or not I'm not home!

[–]pooskate2003 28 points29 points ago

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I think that was the general consensus, yeah.

[–]trombloney 8 points9 points ago

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That's how I've always heard it in my head, and it was confusing following the thread hierarchy. Anyways it's wrong too, this is right

[–]dereking 39 points40 points ago

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George: What is this? This is a drawing.

Clerk: Looks real, doesn't it?

George: This is a cartoon!

Clerk: Hey, I had to draw that guy from memory. Considering, I think that's damn good.

[–]reddittrees2 10 points11 points ago

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But it's not a photograph! I need a photograph!

[–]dereking 15 points16 points ago

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Clerk: Then you better get a camera...

[–]stupidlikeafox 28 points29 points ago

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George Castanza, a god among men. I cant think of any person i can better relate everyday happenings to.

[–]curiously_anonymous 16 points17 points ago

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Probably one of, if not the best, sitcom character of all time. His only competition is Larry David, who isn't really competition per say, being the same guy and all.

[–]holodog 2 points3 points ago

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Best moment on Curb - Larry and Jason Alexander arguing about what a loser the Costanza character was, and Larry getting personally offended.

"So? I was in a contest!"

[–]GorillaButt 2 points3 points ago

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"I mean come on, he goes in to his girlfriend's house to steal the tape from the answering machine?"

"I DID THAT, I WENT AND STOLE THE TAPE FROM MY GIRLFRIEND'S ANSWERING MACHINE!!"

[–]Robilton 26 points27 points ago

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Hi, I'm George. I'm unemployed and I live with my parents

[–]bookey23 15 points16 points ago

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You know, chicken salad's not the opposite of tuna. Salmon's the opposite of tuna, because salmon swim again the current and the tuna swim with it.

[–]RygelXVI 7 points8 points ago

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GOOD FOR THE TUNA

[–]Book8 1 point2 points ago

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Who are you, George Costanza?

[–]forevercabron 1 point2 points ago

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I'm Victoria... Hi!

[–]ArJooDeJew 24 points25 points ago

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"Don't you even care? This is your company! It's your name on the outside of the building! Speaking of which, the R fell off and all it says now is K-UGER."

[–]lopsiness 25 points26 points ago

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Sounds like a car horn doesn't it? k-UUUUger. k-UUUUger.

[–]AI52487963 3 points4 points ago

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That sounds like one of those old-time car horns. K-UUUGER!

[–]I_want_some_taquitos 24 points25 points ago

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Art Vandelay?

[–]ForgettableUsername 13 points14 points ago

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Of Vandelay industries?

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]ForgettableUsername 5 points6 points ago

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Did you type that with one hand?

[–]artvandelay7 3 points4 points ago

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How may I help you?

[–]remiprev 5 points6 points ago

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I need latex.

[–]andrewsmith1986 135 points136 points ago

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He's lost a lot of hair.

[–][deleted] 117 points118 points ago

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THAT'S WHAT THEY TELL ME!

[–]StoneOfTriumph 61 points62 points ago

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George is getting upset!

[–]spaceGodzilla 20 points21 points ago

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Yeah? Well the jerkstore called.

[–]Schlessel 6 points7 points ago

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I SLEPT WITH YOUR WIFE!

[–]starspangledpickle 16 points17 points ago

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WE HAD A PACT

[–]djsku82 8 points9 points ago

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You mean Art Vandelay.

[–]happyblanchy 3 points4 points ago

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The architect?

[–]sabowski 4 points5 points ago

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No, the importer-exporter. However, he's thinking of quitting the exporting and just focusing on the importing.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points ago

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TWIIIIIIIIIIIXXXXXXXX!!!!!!!!

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]Slates77 4 points5 points ago

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He has a fearful stare.

[–]RPMiSO 5 points6 points ago

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With his bear like chest hair.

[–]square965 1 point2 points ago

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He used too much Nair.

[–]Death_of_a_Pedophile 6 points7 points ago

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I'm thinking of trying this Chinese cream, it should restore it.

[–]andrewsmith1986 6 points7 points ago

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The Chinese have done it my friend. The Chinese have done it.

[–]whothehellispat2 7 points8 points ago

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...you stink

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points ago

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[–]qabsteak 1 point2 points ago

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[–]gefiltefishblues 1 point2 points ago

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These are not scraps. These are the historic remains of a once great society of hair.

[–]ingdaddy 28 points29 points ago

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Co-stanza!

[–]thechilipepper0 42 points43 points ago

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Cant-stand-ya!

[–]driftw00d 8 points9 points ago

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Mr. Heyman!

[–]Lurk_a_lot 9 points10 points ago

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Cartwright! Cartwright!

[–]hopscotchking 3 points4 points ago

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four?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Festivus.

[–]tootired25 11 points12 points ago

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That pear-shaped loser was me!

[–]Mtrain 12 points13 points ago

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R.I.P. Uncle Leo

[–]curiously_anonymous 12 points13 points ago

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[–]But_Im_Le_Tired 7 points8 points ago

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Chief Grady on vacation from Spurberry

[–]LesMoores 7 points8 points ago

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Dr. Van Nostrand? yeah, thats right.

[–]astroot 1 point2 points ago

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I've seen moles so big they have their own moles. Freckles that cover two men.

[–]discoinfiltr8r 25 points26 points ago

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me gustanza

[–]SwirlStick 5 points6 points ago

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That's one the best episodes.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]SwirlStick 6 points7 points ago

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I believe those are actually all different episodes my friend.

[–]Tom_Wheeler 4 points5 points ago

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Bathroom stalls that extend all the way to the ground you say?

[–]daverich9 7 points8 points ago

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You know, if I could get this Coco woman down to Kruger, they wouldn't be able to call me Koko anymore because Kruger would never allow 2 Kokos.

[–]theHip 2 points3 points ago

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Ah, excuse me, Vice-president Coco, no one cares about your Gammy.

[–]daverich9 2 points3 points ago

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What did you say about my Gammy?

[–]theHip 2 points3 points ago

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Forget Gammy!

[–]daverich9 1 point2 points ago

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Maybe there should be a Gammy...

[–]theHip 2 points3 points ago

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Gammy's getting upset!!!

[–]daverich9 2 points3 points ago

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Gammy! Gammy! Gammy!

[–]jamestwofive 5 points6 points ago

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if you don't know it's from the slicer episode of seinfeld.

aka the boombox incident.

[–]rustyisacowboy 10 points11 points ago

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Cougar! My son says your company stinks!

[–]FrankReynolds 16 points17 points ago

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YOU COULDN'T SMOOTH A SILK SHEET IF YOU HAD A HOT DATE WITH A BABE....

I lost my train of thought.

[–]billyfazz 5 points6 points ago

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These pretzels are making me thirsty.

[–]BillyMcGorn 3 points4 points ago

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Who are you, George Costanza?

[–]GorillaButt 1 point2 points ago

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I'm the opposite of every man you've ever met.

[–]Nick_oFcourse 2 points3 points ago

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CA-STAN-ZA!

[–]theHip 1 point2 points ago

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CANT-STAND-YA!

[–]mossman85 3 points4 points ago

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[–]leg_room 2 points3 points ago

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I have no idea why this video was "up next" from the kruger compilation...but I'm glad it was.

[–]phixion 2 points3 points ago

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HEYYYY T-BONE!

[–]Mugendai 3 points4 points ago

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Everyone's focusing on Costanza but they're totally ignoring Christine O'Donnell.

[–]wangologist 2 points3 points ago

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Daniel Von Bargen! What happened to that guy, he was all over the place like 10 years ago.

[–]Elven6 1 point2 points ago

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http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0901926/

Seems like he's mostly doing odd ball TV stuff now, I guess Malcom in the Middle might have been his most recent big follow up?

[–]cpolito87 2 points3 points ago

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Cue deluge of "The original photobomber [fixed]" posts.

[–]driftw00d 4 points5 points ago

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[–]nejdu 2 points3 points ago

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You call yourself a lifesaver. I call you pimple popper MD!

[–]HighlyUnnecessary 4 points5 points ago

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What's the deal with airplane peanuts?

[–]PeskyVarmint 1 point2 points ago

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[–]w_a_w 1 point2 points ago

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zomg, george's boss is married to christine o'donnell! poor guy.

[–]bvanman 1 point2 points ago

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K UGER

[–]HarryCarnce 1 point2 points ago

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i think it's weird how kruger, being such an apathetic guy, had a pretty decent physique for a middle aged guy. the kids look just like kruger and his wife, too.

[–]gregny2002 2 points3 points ago

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For a middle aged guy? I'm half his age and he looks a lot better than me.

[–]hdd1080p 1 point2 points ago

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Best show ever

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Isn't that Commandant Edwin Spangler on the upper left?

[–]bonestein 1 point2 points ago

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And the worst photoshop ever.

[–]pdmcmahon 1 point2 points ago

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[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Came here to mention that my only Reddit account was named after Seinfeld.

[–]mentalcaseinspace 1 point2 points ago

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Everybody's talking at me. I don't hear a word they're saying. Just driving around in Jon Voight's car.

[–]dogdisco 1 point2 points ago

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Actually, Paul McCartney was the original photobomber..

[–]itsicenine 1 point2 points ago

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Earlier photobomb:

http://img43.imageshack.us/img43/9792/george1nh.jpg

Paul McCartney in the 1960's

[–]twister55 1 point2 points ago

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C: "You have lost a lot of hair!"

G: "I am aware!!!!!"

[–]zthomasri 1 point2 points ago

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good god.....thats the kind of picture you hang above the mantel.

[–]lloydbraun69 1 point2 points ago

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CAN'TSTANDYA

[–]happyblanchy 1 point2 points ago

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Lloyd Braun, did all this "appearing in the background of family's beach photos" years ago and he did it so much better than George.

[–]JohnnyAwesome 1 point2 points ago

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Jerry, it's Frank Costanza, Mr. Steinbrenner's here, George is dead, call me back!

[–]Liesaboutfamily 1 point2 points ago

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Nice, odd as it sounds my dad was the one to actually take this picture. He said the worst part of it was trying to get the lighting just right to make George's hair appear real.

[–]VGChampion 1 point2 points ago

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I was hoping people would talk about Seinfeld rather than big Seinfeld quote chains. :(

[–]pleatedjeans 3 points4 points ago

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[–][deleted] -1 points0 points ago*

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"HE'S A NAGGER!!!!!!!!"

[–]zekebleh 4 points5 points ago

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Read the username.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Looks like he shaved his nipples.

[–]hollyhood 0 points1 point ago

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You down with O.P.B.?

[–]AllDesperadoStation 0 points1 point ago

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I airbrushed that Ford right out of there.

[–]jandalofdoom 0 points1 point ago

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The boombox incident from "The Slicer" Episode.

[–]optravisprimeatsdick 0 points1 point ago*

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I thought you were dead. Seeing as you're not, I spit on you. Now where's my blue car?

[–]Book8 0 points1 point ago

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The Secret in their eyes II

[–]-eKi- 0 points1 point ago

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Gordon Freeman pre-Half Life era...

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Costanza... Cant stand ya!!!

[–]puffynipples_r_swell 0 points1 point ago

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K-UUUGGER

[–]illuminatiscott 0 points1 point ago

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Nope: here is the original photobomber.

[–]gefiltefishblues 0 points1 point ago

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he sure did go bald

[–]Zhyl 0 points1 point ago

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[–]jspeights 0 points1 point ago

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Comes complete with Wolf Man T-Shirt

[–]ThisIsNotaComic 0 points1 point ago

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Upvote if you found me!

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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[–]JBRonan 0 points1 point ago

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The only reference i got here was the pixies one, and that was definitely the least relevant. I'll just let myself out

[–]Minimiscience 0 points1 point ago

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The timeless art of seduction.

[–]deadmoney 0 points1 point ago

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Strange... I don't see the mole on this shoulder.

[–]American83 0 points1 point ago

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The photobomber looks like Bob Saget

[–]aivzdog 0 points1 point ago

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what a hairy sexy man hehe

[–]Finkarelli 0 points1 point ago

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Cooooooooo-stan-za!

(by Mennen)

[–]Mavlis 0 points1 point ago

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I contend that this is actually the original photobomber: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_cJtsnTeg7w