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top 200 commentsshow 500

[–]MileageAddict 84 points85 points ago

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DC Metro factoids: At 196 feet (60 m) below the surface, the Forest Glen station on the Red Line is the deepest in the system. There are no escalators; high-speed elevators take 20 seconds to travel from the street to the station platform.

The Wheaton station, next to Forest Glen station on the Red Line, has the second-longest continuous escalator in the world, the longest in the Western Hemisphere, at 230 feet (70 m).

The Rosslyn station is the deepest station on the Orange/Blue Line, at 97 feet (30 m) below street level. The station features the third-longest continuous escalator in the world at 205 feet (62 m); an escalator ride between the street level and the mezzanine level takes nearly two minutes.

[–]likeahurricane 46 points47 points ago

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I ride the Rosslyn escalator every day. I used to put my book up when I got off the train, but then I realized I can get an extra 2-4 pages in over the length of the escalator. Because of this extra reading time, I much prefer to escalate.

[–]UtahGimmeTwo 11 points12 points ago

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I knew there was a reason why I hated going to fucking Wheaton so much.

[–]Askol 7 points8 points ago

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I was corrected by a redditor for the same thing, so let me pay it forward by letting you know you're misusing the term "Factoid" (It actually means they aren't facts at all).

EDIT: I guess this assumes the your comments are actually true. If not, then that's actually a perfect use of the word factoid.

[–]Gizank 2 points3 points ago

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Great, now I have to go visit Forest Glen. Cedar Point was bad enough back in 2000. At least DC is a short trip.

[–]deceptisean[!] 56 points57 points ago

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His smile in conjunction with "now I elevate" threw me into an fantastic laugh

[–]dmuma 421 points422 points ago

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Not to begrudge this, but if you've never been to Dupont Circle, it is one of the most terrifying escalators in the world. I used to walk up the damn thing when it was moving (both up and down) when I worked in DC. I visited recently and I am shocked that I am alive to tell this story.

[–]Mauricio76 251 points252 points ago

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It's the tallest, steepest escalator I've ever seen. Standing at the top you feel like you are descending into the depths of hell.

[–]freshyill 61 points62 points ago

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You've never been to Wheaton.

[–]aiowen 20 points21 points ago

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Or Bethesda.

sigh Just two more hours before I can descend back into the pit.

[–]Smails 13 points14 points ago

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Bethesda Redditor. Kin.

[–]annietym 4 points5 points ago

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Rockville Redditor, NIH worker. Medical Center's escalators definitely compete with steepness.

[–]Hurkleby 3 points4 points ago

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Working in the Clark building as we speak!

[–]Pers_respon 3 points4 points ago

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I can see you

[–]Smails 6 points7 points ago

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"Working"

[–]AAAAAAAAAAAAA13 5 points6 points ago

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Gaithersburg redditor here. Can you guys hear me?

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points ago

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Ohh ohh! I'm up in Laurel!

Okay, that's not really very close. But I am a girl!

[–]bmoffit1 3 points4 points ago

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Bradley Blvd here. oh hey guys.

[–]WastedPotential 31 points32 points ago

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Wil?

[–][deleted] 12 points13 points ago

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good will hunting:

"let me guess, you just got off the dupont escalator for the first time and now you think you know something about moving staircases, think you can come in here and gain a little free karma with all the redditors who wouldn't know an escalator from an MC Escher drawing. But i can tell you've never been to wheaton, because if you had been to wheaton, you would know that wheaton is the tallest steepest escalator on god's green earth."

[–]AwesomeJosh 20 points21 points ago

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Whil

[–]idontusejelly 18 points19 points ago

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Wil

[–]AwesomeJosh 14 points15 points ago

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Whil

[–]idontusejelly 16 points17 points ago

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[–]AwesomeJosh 10 points11 points ago

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[–]deltahat 11 points12 points ago

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Wheaton is the longest escalator in the Western hemisphere. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wheaton_(WMATA_station)

[–]dalore 12 points13 points ago*

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[–]jattea 81 points82 points ago

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Anyone have a pic?

[–]SgtJoo 252 points253 points ago

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[–]guymandude 29 points30 points ago

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This really doesn't do it justice. First time I went on the subway in D.C. I was fucking amazed and terrified even having been told how long the escalators were. I am used to the NYC subway so I don't know how people don't get bored on the way down.

[–]ctzl 22 points23 points ago

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You can walk, you know.

[–]o8643 27 points28 points ago

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Not with all the tourists and fucktards around. DC's metro system is notorious for many things but especially for people ignoring the "stand on the right, walk on the left" rule. I've bowled over more than my fair share of mouth-breathers on my way down to the platform because they were standing on the left.

[–]ctzl 14 points15 points ago

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Hey now, don't complain to me about tourists, I live in NYC. I don't bowl through them though, I try being polite.

[–]Mysteryman64 40 points41 points ago

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Polite...New Yorker?

Wat?

[–]LonelyNixon 11 points12 points ago

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Yea he's either new or a liar. There is no such breed.

[–]laxt 5 points6 points ago

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As a fellow DC Metro rider, what gets me the most about tourists is when they stop where the escalator finishes, ignoring the line of people moving behind them. They just stand there to look around, forgetting that they're in the way of 20 people trying to get off.

[–]Actuality 2 points3 points ago

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We call them "escalefters."

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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Actually, DC is just about the only US city I know of where people even try to attempt the stand-on-the-right rule.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

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They do in San Francisco.

[–]phate_exe 15 points16 points ago

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[–][deleted] 141 points142 points ago

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that's typical of every subway escalator in eastern europe

[–]Jumba 167 points168 points ago

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[–]kjoneslol 214 points215 points ago

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You guys need more lights.

[–]Jumba 72 points73 points ago

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I'm not Russian, I just frequently get stuck in those endless Wikipedia reading binges, which included pretty much all the metro networks of Eastern Europe.

[–]kjoneslol 61 points62 points ago

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It happens to the best of us.

[–]siriussam 17 points18 points ago

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i think the MC Escher escalator is the worst, take a look: http://www.b3ta.com/board/10320990

[–]ukraineisnotweak 5 points6 points ago

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Ugh, I can spend hours sometimes... ending up at a completely unrelated page from where I started.

[–]NightOnTheSun 8 points9 points ago

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Oh god, Adderall + Wikipedia = LEARNING EVERYTHING

[–]feng_huang 3 points4 points ago

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[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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It must have been built immediately after the Halloween update.

[–]sinemy 124 points125 points ago

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[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]xXEvanatorXx 9 points10 points ago

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God I hate The Moscow Metro.

[–]Rhomnousia 20 points21 points ago

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I see that picture and think about high speed chases while on cocaine and listening to some late 90's techno.

[–]romwell 2 points3 points ago

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Not shown in photo: millions of commuters and babushkas elbowing each other -

- Like this or like this.

[–]chauncey_gardner 2 points3 points ago

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[–]Dimitri_Kuznetsov 2 points3 points ago

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Yes, Moscow has best escalators in all of world. I take ride on them everyday to work for mother Russia. Is privilege to not walk stairs, but when escalator break is just stairs and I cry for is movement. But I not little girl, I strong man like bear, so I walk stairs.

[–]maxd 10 points11 points ago

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And London.

[–]tehreal 7 points8 points ago

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here in Los Angeles, too

[–]PooPooDooDoo 14 points15 points ago

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In Mother Russia?

[–]transmogrified 38 points39 points ago*

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Goddamn especially in Mother Russia. Standing at the top of the Metro escalators in Moscow, you can't even see the bloody bottom. I had nightmares about those things.

Once you get to the bottom it's pretty nice though. Warm, and there's marble frescoes* on the walls.

edit* fresco is the wrong word - I'm looking for the word that means a bunch of marble chips glued to the floor/wall to make a picture. What the hell is that word??

edit 2* many people have stepped up with the correct term: mosaic. Complete and utter brain freeze on my part. I shall leave my mistake for posterity.

[–]johnq-pubic 26 points27 points ago

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From Wikipedia: There are several escalators on the Moscow transit which are over 400ft long. The longest in the Americas is Wheaton Station-Metro D.C. at 230 ft.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Escalator

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]chwilliam 5 points6 points ago

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And now I know more than I ever needed to know about escalators.

[–]johnq-pubic 4 points5 points ago

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Better than knowing more than you needed to know about ... bozarking.

[–]crapfoodpants 19 points20 points ago

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[–]ewest 2 points3 points ago

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Wow, that is fucking beautiful. I wish every mass transport station was adorned with these.

[–]happybadger 6 points7 points ago

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Stockholm effectively has a 100± km long art exhibit.

[–]alinot 16 points17 points ago

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Russian subway stations also double as bomb shelters, if I'm not mistaken.

[–]davvblack 8 points9 points ago

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marble frescoes

the fuck?

[–]mudstump 23 points24 points ago

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Is bitch when marble dry too fast. Ruin entire fresco.

[–]MedeaMelana 3 points4 points ago

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Stockholm has loads of em too.

[–]McMac 21 points22 points ago

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Was gonna say! We use them to cull our population. Only the strongest escalateurs shall survive.

[–]Zitkovich 13 points14 points ago

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escelateur, I'm putting that on my resume

[–]timmehdude 2 points3 points ago

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[–]ITSigno 5 points6 points ago

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Pretty common in Japan, too. Pedestrian even.

[–]j1ggy 3 points4 points ago

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In Canada they usually go from floor to floor, and you have to get off and make a U-turn to go up another level. Seems safer to me if you ever had a tumble.

[–]Soosed 6 points7 points ago

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That's because there are things on those floors.

The TTC in Toronto has some huge escalators in some of the stations, although I guess they aren't as steep.

[–]andan 6 points7 points ago

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Mauricio76:...like you are descending into the depths of hell.

SgtJoo: Here ya go

FTFY

[–]BlorfMonger 2 points3 points ago

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Dang, I rode on that when I was a kid visiting Washington DC. I was all amazed because you see this escalator just go up into a concrete tube with no end in site. I liked it better than the dinosaurs at the Smithsonian.

FYI this was in the mid 80's, so I dont really know if it was the same one.

[–]Sve7en 4 points5 points ago

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That motherfucker was the bane of my existence when my 8th grade class went to DC for 3 days. I had a panic attack on that thing.

[–]mexicodoug 2 points3 points ago

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I'll never understand why adults let kids out of the house or hotel without a strong, safe dosage of thorazine and ritalin.

[–]attackofthesuck 2 points3 points ago

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That's not even the scary one. That's the one that comes out right by the Krispy Kreme. The other side of the street is fucking terrifying.

[–]itsamoreh 6 points7 points ago

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[–]Brad_Boston 20 points21 points ago

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[–]waldron76 4 points5 points ago

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What's so weird is that if you just look straight in front of you you can convince yourself that the escalator is FLAT and the rest of the world is tilted.

Woah.

[–]Ellemeno 2 points3 points ago

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There were a few moments in the video where it looked like the escalator was going up instead of down. Now, that's some M.C. Escher shit right there!

[–]fragglet 2 points3 points ago

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For further laziness, you can also put 2m8s, you don't need to calculate the exact number of seconds...

[–]Dax420 5 points6 points ago

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[–]popepeterjames 6 points7 points ago

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[–][deleted] 18 points19 points ago*

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Now give us a single plum, floating in perfume, served in a man's hat.

[–]xployt 21 points22 points ago

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I'll take it from here, guys.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points ago

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It's not even the longest in the DC Metro system... that's at the Wheaton station. Longest in the western hemisphere.

[–]funkah 5 points6 points ago

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I think the one in Wheaton may be a bit bigger. Who ever goes to Wheaton, though.

[–]NeededANewName 3 points4 points ago

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I've only been to DC once and haven't seen the Dupont Circle one in person, looks creepy though. The one that always got to me was the CNN Center in Atlanta. I'm not real fond of heights.

http://attractions.uptake.com/blog/files/2009/07/cnn_escalator.jpg

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]drwormtmbg 6 points7 points ago

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I really want to go to DC just to ride this escalator.

[–]PooPooDooDoo 15 points16 points ago

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You will be lucky if it even works.

[–]Hurkleby 3 points4 points ago

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[–]popepeterjames 4 points5 points ago

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I've never had a problem with the escalator.... only the people who think that they have to take it at a run while taking 5 steps at a time during the morning rush.... while shoving other people out of the way. Of course that is pretty much every Metro stop escalator in DC.

[–]o8643 8 points9 points ago

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Stand on the right, walk on the left. Any violators of these rules deserve to be shoved or forced to wait respectively.

[–]jasondm 6 points7 points ago

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They should smooth the middle, add rails, and put a landing pad at the bottom. The potential for injury would be so high, but at the same time it'd be so fun.

[–]dmuma 10 points11 points ago

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I was one of these people. Sorry. I don't even understand it now.

I desperately need to get somewhere three or four seconds faster!

[–]captainAwesomePants 11 points12 points ago

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Well, a tiny percentage of the time, it'll be the critical 3-4 seconds that means you get on the train and save several minutes. Or even it'll be the last train and it'll save several hours.

Of course, most of the time you just get to wait for the train first and it saves you zero time.

[–]homeworld 2 points3 points ago

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Here's the Exchange Place PATH station escalator in Jersey City. Looks just as steep.

[–]homeworld 4 points5 points ago

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[–]WearingCoats 30 points31 points ago

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It's even worse when you've pre gamed.

[–]Schadenfreudian_slip 6 points7 points ago

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Oh Dupont happy hour, I miss thee.

[–]lwoodjr 29 points30 points ago

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When I was a kid an escalator grabbed my sneaker, snatched in right off my foot, and ate it. Traumatizing. Happened at Dupont Circle, no less. Place is a death trap.

[–]histumness 23 points24 points ago

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You have to learn to fear and respect the escalator.

[–]transmogrified 22 points23 points ago

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My step dad told me that if I ever fell down on an escalator, my hair would get caught in the scary eaty part and it would rip my scalp off.

[–]AttackingHobo 5 points6 points ago

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I don't think that he is wrong.

[–]dmuma 7 points8 points ago

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This is my new nightmare.

[–]jcopacetic 9 points10 points ago

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I was in a motorcycle accident as an undergraduate. Landed me on crutches for a couple of weeks. Let me tell you - when the DuPont escalators feel like being stairs and the elevator doesn't work. It sucks.

[–]MrDorkESQ 9 points10 points ago

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I came here to say this. I used to work in an office @ Dupont Circle and had to go up and down that thing multiple times a day.

here is a good photo

[–]thisgoeshere 11 points12 points ago

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the really fucked up thing is that not only do the metro escalators randomly stop (theyve definitely stopped when ive been on then (wtf temprorary stairs)) but in the past locks have failed and they plummet. 2 people died at a metro stop last year when this happened

[–]CoolSocks 17 points18 points ago

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I wasn't scared of the escalators until I read this comment. I think I'll just take the stairs from now on.

[–]mexicodoug 5 points6 points ago

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Why not just elevate?

[–]CoolSocks 2 points3 points ago

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And let the zombies trap me? Sir, I think not.

[–]runs4beer 3 points4 points ago

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I was at the Pentagon metro at the start of the 2010 Marine Corp Marathon (starts just outside the Pentagon) and there were so many people on the escalator next to mine that it just ground to halt. TIL I'm thankful the locks held...

[–]jaybeas 3 points4 points ago

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(citation needed) If two people were killed by Metro escalators, DC media would have been all over it.

[–]hopeNsorrow 5 points6 points ago

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The best part is when the DC metro escalators break down. Imagine standing in the metro for a good half an hour after a hard day of work and just when you get off, you come to Mount Fucking Everest. A real FML moment right there.

[–]laxt 2 points3 points ago

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During the rally last fall, I think it was L'Enfant's escalator that broke.

I've lived in DC almost all my life, have been riding the Metro since I was six years old. I've never heard of the escalator just deciding to break like that. Or maybe I just hadn't heard. But for the most part, we're only recently having these problems due to the economy and our beloved locals bitching over the rise in cost to meet millions of dollars in infrastructure upgrades. We had two trains meet in a head-on collision the summer of '09 I think it was, due to some foul-up in the train routing. It's a shame to see these things when the economy is in such a rough state. Everyone who's all anti-taxes and government spending, take a look at how these important services crumble when a bunch of corporately-owned politicians decide that the wealthiest among us should have a fourth Mercedes for their second summer house.

[–]otm_shank 10 points11 points ago

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Porter Square (Boston) is pretty daunting as well.

[–]Schadenfreudian_slip 9 points10 points ago

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I used to think the Porter Square escalator was enormous, then I moved to DC... when I moved back to Boston, it was like seeing that 'Giant Rope Swing' that you used as a 4 year old, only to find out it was barely 6 feet off the ground.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

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bah, i used to run down that escalator when i was late for school

bah!

[–]Chumpstinator 2 points3 points ago

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Isn't the angel station (uk) escalator longer?

[–]ULTRA_Lenin 2 points3 points ago

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Longest in the world I think.

[–]anthonybsd 5 points6 points ago

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Not to call you a little girl, but Dupoint Circle escalator is child's ladder compared to Moscow Metro Escalators

[–]tehreal 25 points26 points ago

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|I NOT SAY YOU LITTLE GIRL, BUT DUPOINT CIRCLE ESCALATOR IS CHILD'S LADDER TO MOSCOW METRO ESCALATOR

FTFY

[–]laxt 3 points4 points ago

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Fine Russian Escalator!

[–]Hurkleby 5 points6 points ago

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If that were Dupont's escalator that lady would have been shoved down by now for not standing all the way to the right.

[–]Chumpstinator 2 points3 points ago

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Isn't the angel station (uk) escalator longer?

[–]moms_pro-jerk 2 points3 points ago

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Yeah I was going to say, most escalators in Russian metro are much worse looking. Stop being such PUSSY!

[–]DocOTaco 120 points121 points ago

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mitch hedberg is turning in his grave

[–]FORVICTORY 35 points36 points ago

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Brodie is probably madder.

[–]123GoTeamShake[!] 26 points27 points ago

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That kid is back on the escalator!

[–]brodies 2 points3 points ago

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You have no idea how mad I am.

[–]mikkymikkymik 67 points68 points ago

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sorry for the convenience.

[–]nature1 16 points17 points ago

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He is elevating in his grave.

[–]fresh38 2 points3 points ago

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I truly believe he is.

[–]play3393 3 points4 points ago

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I doubt it. He'd be laughing his ass off more likely.

[–]marainman 17 points18 points ago

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You've also gotta watch out for ghouls and super mutants once you get to the top.

[–]thecarbine 3 points4 points ago

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The Talon Company Mercs were always there to greet you after a long journey through the subway tunnels.

[–]kore464 13 points14 points ago

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This is what I picture him doing: http://i.imgur.com/hGb96.jpg

[–]LCDreadout 10 points11 points ago

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I guess I understand why this is funny, but I like his verb for elevator. It makes sense to me, I immediately understood what he meant, and he used fewer words than "Now I take the elevator."

Do people just love a black man talking funny or something?

[–]OriJinalGangsta 115 points116 points ago

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An escalator can never break--it can only become stairs. You would never see an "Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order" sign, just "Escalator Temporarily Stairs. Sorry for the convenience.

-Mitch Hedberg

[–]open_it_up 37 points38 points ago

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Sorry, I like him too, but Mitch is 100 percent wrong -- they can open you up and drop you into the abyss, as happened today:

http://www.tbd.com/blogs/tbd-on-foot/2011/02/foggy-bottom-escalator-falls-apart-photos--8705.html

[–]AtheismFTW 20 points21 points ago

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And it's even called the Foggy Bottom Escalator. Wasn't it enough for them just to give it a creepy name, without it also dropping you into purgatory?

[–]sexrockandroll 8 points9 points ago

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Well, thanks for that. I think it's time to start taking the stairs...

[–]DaBake 63 points64 points ago

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As much as I love Mitch, he obviously never had to walk up the escalators at Dupont.

[–]DoubleSidedTape 30 points31 points ago

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And they definitely do go "out of order" in DC.

[–]Hurkleby 17 points18 points ago*

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If the escalators are out of order more than they are working, aren't they just running as usual?

edit: should've made this a philosoraptor

[–]aterlumen 9 points10 points ago

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Until the escalator collapses, then there's lots of pointy shit and you're falling onto it.

[–]knome 6 points7 points ago*

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They honestly need to stop building the spike pits at the bottoms of the shafts. I know its traditional, but eventually they have to realize how few elevators actually fall these days. Replacing the "close door" button with a "close door and activate crushing walls" button would be far more likely to see use, and the symbol is the same, so no new buttons.

edit : I read your comment as "elevator collapses" for some reason, but I like this comment, so I'm leaving it

[–]pseudolobster 7 points8 points ago

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[–]mindspork 13 points14 points ago

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[–]weggy 32 points33 points ago

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I took that escalator to go to the Reddit Rally party. It was so long, I had to drink my own piss.

[–]AAAAAAAAAAAAA13 5 points6 points ago

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I was there, too. Remember the upvote-downvote light sign?

[–]Holden_Caulfiend 5 points6 points ago

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Escalators? It's the Super Mutants you gotta worry about...

[–]Jaymuhz 6 points7 points ago

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Did anyone else only know Dupont Circle Station from Fallout 3 and think this sounded god damn scary.

[–]SisterMaryBorgia 3 points4 points ago

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This. I was like "you can actually use the escalators at Dupont Station???"

[–]le23 10 points11 points ago

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Cowboys hat in DC ಠ_ಠ

[–]bubbameister33 2 points3 points ago

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There are a lot of Dallas fans here in DC. But when the Cowboys lose they are no where to be found.

[–]mpete510 3 points4 points ago

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What made this even better was that I read it in Tracy Jordan's voice.

[–]mi_nombre_es_ricardo 5 points6 points ago

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Man, after seeing this old man, escalators are not a joke anymore.

Edit: He should have elevated.

[–]dittokiddo 3 points4 points ago

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Are there really that many people who HAVE escalator stories? I mean short of "this one time my friend and I ran up one that was going backwards!" or something, I didn't realize this was a common thing.

[–]BlizzardFenrir 2 points3 points ago

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[–]mizay7 2 points3 points ago

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I also try to remember to elevate at Woodley Park. When those escalators turn into stairs it is an absolute bitch.

[–]hate_sf_hobos 2 points3 points ago

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Metro stations in DC were also built as bomb shelters during the Cold War. If you stood on the escalators and rode them all the way up without walking it would take you about 5 minutes. It's still better than taking the elevators.

[–]freshyill 2 points3 points ago

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For what it's worth, I know Metro Center isn't nearly as big of an escalator, but I can walk down the escalator faster than the elevator can go. I timed them both just this week. The elevators in the DC Metro system are S L O W. I'm willing to bet the Dupont elevator moves at the same speed as Metro Center (I took it once and it seemed to take forever).

Here's my results:

Elevator: No wait, got right on and then walking to the fare gate was 1:02.

Escalator: (Started timing when I walked past the elevator) to the fare gate was 57 seconds.

Also, the elevator smelled like piss.

[–]benchmarke 2 points3 points ago

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I remember being on an escalator once when it broke down, it was awful! We were stuck on that thing for hours until the rescue people came and got it working again...

[–]MediumPace 2 points3 points ago

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An escalator stopping mid ride was one of the scariest experiences in my life. This quote just
reminded me of that. The escalator wasn't totally packed which made it even worse. Elevated
this particular incident to #1 in my books, because I saw people eating metal. My spirits for
riding escalators isn't very high anymore. I always take the elevator or the stairs. The day
I step back on an escalator, is the day Hell freezes over.

[–]Braddigan 1 point2 points ago

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Government payments of those involved in the tragedy are already underway.

[–]No_name_Johnson 1 point2 points ago

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Dupont circle has a pretty large Raider population; that guy should be on his toes.

[–]xebo 1 point2 points ago

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bitches love elevators

[–]BURRRRRRRR 1 point2 points ago

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TIL elevate = v, to ride an elevator

[–]BillyBreen 1 point2 points ago

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When it comes to elevation, Samson gets me lifted.

[–]InnerBattle 1 point2 points ago

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why are they interviewing a dude in dc with a cowboys hat on

[–]andbruno 1 point2 points ago

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Seems like that comment needs an [8] or something.

[–]mosthorrorshow 1 point2 points ago

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Elevate me later. I'm taking the stairs.

[–]rsnbl_man 1 point2 points ago

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That's a troll face right there!

[–]i11S0u1 1 point2 points ago

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I rode down the Bethesda escalator while high out of my mind once. It felt like I was in one of those dreams where you fall through the floor and you keep falling. Its almost as terrifying sober.

[–]rvweber 1 point2 points ago

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If ever there was a post that should remain at the top or reddit for days and days, this is it.

[–]hamsterberry 1 point2 points ago

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[–]Nadie_AZ 1 point2 points ago

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Hallucinate

Dessegregate

Mediate

elevate

Try not to hate

Love your mate

Don't suffocate on your own hate

Designate your love as fate

A one world state

As human freight

The number eight

A white black state

[–]onederboy 1 point2 points ago

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This is one of the columns the Express has been doing recently to try to help the metro system gain exposure. Usually the whole thing is terrible and they have a Q/A section filled with softball questions that the metro authorities either avoid answering, or respond with their standard answer (we're not doing anything about it.) I usually just get angered by the piece, but this customer story was pretty great.

[–]EmperorNortonI 1 point2 points ago

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i used to love partying. then i got tired of it, so now i celebrate.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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They're just lucky he didn't have regulate!

EDIT: I think I must be the only one who sings the Michael McDonald original over the sample.

[–]jkahrs595 1 point2 points ago

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I went down this thing after the Reddit meetup (Rally to Restore Sanity/Fear). I was at like a [3] and my friend was probably an [8]. Shit was scary.

[–]justkevin 1 point2 points ago

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Escalation, A film by M. Night Shyamalan

No, for real, it's a short parody of Devil where they get stuck on an escalator, actually directed by M. Night Shyamalan. Some of his best work in years.

[–]ambiturner 1 point2 points ago

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My favorite escalator video in the tube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fFqQOlYE4EE

[–]Unlucky13 1 point2 points ago

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Seriously though, whats with the escalators in DC? Why didn't they just install stairs? (that's what they are 90% of the time anyway)

[–]Stanovich 1 point2 points ago

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Distributing upvotes for DC people! As a resident of Northwest DC, I empathize with all these red line horror stories. Gotta love WMATA.

[–]Cyberbuddha 1 point2 points ago

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As some one mentioned wheaton's is longer but you get the general idea.

[–]Rambo5000 1 point2 points ago

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If you from Dupont, then why you cowboys fan!?!? Traitor!!

[–]irishemperor 1 point2 points ago

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Elevate yo'self before you escalate yo'self!

[–]agbullet 1 point2 points ago

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classy motherfucker.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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DC CHILLIN PG CHILLIN.

[–]ColonicIrritation 1 point2 points ago

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To a higher plane of existence. Godspeed.