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all 177 comments

[–]harpwn 332 points333 points ago

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In England, dating is conducted by texting random numbers until you find a match

[–]WalnutSoap 107 points108 points ago*

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Are you a boy or a grill

[–]Chicane 85 points86 points ago

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I'm a grill

[–]Excessive_Combustion 56 points57 points ago

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What's yourr name? :)

[–]teabaguk 458 points459 points ago

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<It's Sher@mie:) >

[–]Chicane 148 points149 points ago

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lol u crazy

<It's Sher@mie:) >

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]InfinitePower 16 points17 points ago

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They've begun multiplying. Just relax and let the assimilation begin.

[–]RuDreading 19 points20 points ago

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What? This isn't happening! You're crazy! You're all crazy! Times a million! No! NOOOOOOooo... ... <It's Sher@mie:) >

[–]Beezle 39 points40 points ago

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< I T 'S S H E R @ M I E : ) >

[–]detroit264 5 points6 points ago

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ASSUMING DIRECT CONTROL <It's Sher@mie:) >

[–]my79spirit 0 points1 point ago

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Sher@mie and Snookie hybrid?

[–]Mov1s 4 points5 points ago

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I totally saw that coming and i still cracked up when i read it.

[–]Homer00 20 points21 points ago

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Wow, it's like you guys just saw the same picture as me.

[–]anonymousgangster 3 points4 points ago

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dis is me, do u got a pic

[–]ThePengwin 6 points7 points ago

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Oh darn, i think I've made a misteak.

[–]callmeroastbeef 5 points6 points ago

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Did you say steak?

[–]ender52 1 point2 points ago

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Now you got me all excited...

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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misteak? is that a new kind of steak?

[–]ThePengwin 7 points8 points ago

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It's like a steak, but totally wrong.

It's usually the grills fault.

[–]iamriptide 1 point2 points ago

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Yeah, it's like a milk steak

[–]Javindo 1 point2 points ago

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Bitch, I'm a bus!

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points ago

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Really?

[–]Dead_Rooster 2 points3 points ago

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Same in New Zealand as well. I believe it extends to all Commonwealth countries.

[–]WashRedMau5kins21 0 points1 point ago

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Craigslist adds are sooooo much better. The best place to creep

[–]ucantkillheroes 37 points38 points ago

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Paul Wall? Is that you?

[–][deleted] 25 points26 points ago

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I'm sorry, I'm not Paul Wall.

[–][deleted] 16 points17 points ago

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Are you selling everybody grills?

[–]Chicane 12 points13 points ago

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Also, are you robbing the jewelry store?

[–]baxter45 19 points20 points ago

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You know I never understood that line.

Robbed a jewelry store and told them make me a grill.

Doesn't it take time to make a grill? They have to take a mold of your mouth and stuff, I thought. If he robbed a jewelry store did he wait there until they finished his grill? Did he come back a few days later to pick it up and the owners just never called the cops? I don't think Mr. Wall put too much thought into these lyrics.

[–]Chicane 10 points11 points ago

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I'm glad you put a lot of thought into them though.

[–]tuutruk 7 points8 points ago

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As I understand the gentleman in question had stolen all necessary materials from a jewelry store. Once he had located the company that constructs "grills" he told them to build it with the stolen material. The risk, of course, is that the grill-construction company may have heard of the jewelry store heist and they may call the authorities. However, I'm sure a well-placed bribe or showing of weaponry will nullify the risk.

[–]countrytime 1 point2 points ago

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He is the same guy who stated "I stay crawlin like head lice" Don't hope for too much from him.

[–]IncrediblyHungry 0 points1 point ago

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Nelly also sang this line ("robbed the jewelry store...") along with Paul Wall. Of course, Nelly has proven himself to be quite the logical being: "it's getting hot in here, so take off all your clothes." Apparently, there were no windows or air conditioning units available in there.

[–]tuutruk 1 point2 points ago*

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You need to look at the big picture. Sure you could open the windows or turn on some air conditioning OR you could have all the beautiful women taking their clothes off.

I find the latter the happier option for all.

[–]cantCme 0 points1 point ago

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But that doesn't solve the original problem. The room temperature isn't going to drop if you take your clothes off.

[–]tigerw00ds 2 points3 points ago

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then i wont be asking, what it do?

[–]pigferret 0 points1 point ago

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Are there any Walls there?

[–]famikon 0 points1 point ago

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Paul Mall?

[–]samstr 0 points1 point ago

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Pall Mall make grills now?

[–]famikon 1 point2 points ago

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I thought we were guessing Paul names :(

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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I prefer Newports, thank you.

[–]paulw252 142 points143 points ago

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I died laughing at the final "Oh".

[–]TigerTrap 362 points363 points ago

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R.I.P.

[–]RepostedContent 52 points53 points ago

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We've known him for over 3, unforgettable, months now.

[–]paulw252 35 points36 points ago

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You can spend the next few weeks wondering how I posted that comment. Or this one. . .

[–]erulabs 19 points20 points ago

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ZOMBIE!

[–]khast 7 points8 points ago

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brb, getting some pea shooters.

[–]IPoopedMyPants -1 points0 points ago

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I'm out of stock on the pea shooters, but I've got plenty of poo shooters in the warehouse if you're interested.

[–]khast 6 points7 points ago

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I don't need a monkey.

[–]ron3090 0 points1 point ago

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Who doesn't need a monkey?

[–]tHeSiD 7 points8 points ago

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Zombies are people too!

[–]trudat 0 points1 point ago

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*were

[–]fizban7 -1 points0 points ago

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If a hipster saw a bunch of zombies swarming some guy you think he would follow?

What does a vegan zombie eat?

you think a foodie zombie only eats organic brains?

probably not.

[–]gstuartj 10 points11 points ago

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Vegetarian zombies eat graaaaiiiiins.

[–]GiantMarshmallow 4 points5 points ago

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What does a vegan zombie eat?

Answer: http://www.mightywombat.com/oldtoon.php?year=2009&id=432

[–]Chewbacca117 1 point2 points ago

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Save some zombie jokes for the rest of us, man.

[–]mizuhri 3 points4 points ago

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Time machine.. duh.

[–]saintlawrence 3 points4 points ago

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You died but you got better

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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Jesus?

[–]drdeeps 4 points5 points ago

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It hasn't been 3 days.

[–]gigreviews 59 points60 points ago

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I'm just as immature as you. Simple humour makes life so much funnier.

[–][deleted] 63 points64 points ago

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A slice of pizza walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender replies, "I'm sorry, we don't serve food here."

[–]ImAfraidNot 34 points35 points ago

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A piece of string walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender replies, "I'm sorry, we don't serve pieces of string here. You'll have to leave."

The piece of string gets up and walk outside. He starts stomping around, huffing-and-puffing, twisting-and turning, settles down and goes back inside.

The bartender sees him and goes, "Hey! Aren't you that piece of string I just kicked out?"

To which the string replies, "No, I'm a frayed knot."

[–]hemlockecho 7 points8 points ago

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A man walks into a bar in the dystopian future and says "I'll have some soylent green." The bartender replies, "I'm sorry, we don't serve colored people here."

[–]DrDuPont 4 points5 points ago

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Two polar bears are sitting in a bathtub. The first one says, "Pass the soap." The second one says, "No soap, radio!"

[–]punkdigerati 1 point2 points ago

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Hahahaha! I get it!

[–]retlawmacpro 1 point2 points ago

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Hahahaha! I don't.

[–]rdeluca 0 points1 point ago

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Hahaha carrots and waffles.

[–]LovesSecretDomain 6 points7 points ago

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brilliant

[–]cookedbread 5 points6 points ago

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What a knee slapper

[–][deleted] 24 points25 points ago

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 _o_
/  \_\
   /  |
   \ 

[–]ron3090 0 points1 point ago

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A rabbi, a nun, and a cardinal walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says "What is this, some kind of joke?"

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points ago

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If I were a guy looking for a random girl via text messages and I found myself George Foreman, I think I'd be pretty much ok with that.

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points ago

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I don't understand... Who fucking texts random numbers of people they don't know?

[–]theowne 3 points4 points ago

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Text message convo generating websites.

[–]kirun 0 points1 point ago

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The same people that used to random chat you on ICQ and get mad if you ignored them.

[–]alexryane 0 points1 point ago

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Usually someone you met in a club...

[–]Inane_BS_To_Follow 19 points20 points ago

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I get the distinct impression that mister +44 7534 206... now believes that a "Gril" is another name for transvestite.

[–]pimpmasterspaceman 3 points4 points ago

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[–]spinoza15 7 points8 points ago

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All of George Foreman's sons are named George:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/George_Foreman#Family

[–]monarchslager 3 points4 points ago

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So are all of the grills like family to him?

[–]likwidfuzion 3 points4 points ago

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His five daughters are named (oldest to youngest): Lean, Mean, Fat-Reducing, Grilling, Machine

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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..What's he going to call the next one?

[–]ArJooDeJew 2 points3 points ago

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George.

[–]Ashtefere 0 points1 point ago

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Georgie.

[–]sanscomplique 1 point2 points ago

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So is one of Tracy Jordan's

[–]Convenient_Truth 0 points1 point ago

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He's so proud of it...

[–]psilokan 0 points1 point ago

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Wow, that's all kinds of awesome.

[–]hispter 0 points1 point ago

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I ran in a track meet with one in college. It was a very exciting way to meet a George Foreman.

[–]Barnolde 47 points48 points ago

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Q: Why do iPhone users have random conversations with people they don't know?

A: Because they have no friends.

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points ago

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Damn, you got me.

[–]Kleim4nn 0 points1 point ago

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I'll take a potato chip, and EAT IT!!!

[–]verdammt 23 points24 points ago

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Q: Why do iPhone users have random conversations with people they don't know?

A: BECAUSE THESE IPHONE CONVERSATIONS ARE MADE UP

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

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Then i was phone?

[–]rinja 12 points13 points ago

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LOL, because they spend so much money on their iPhone, service plan, and apps, they can't afford to go out any more, =).

[–][deleted] 19 points20 points ago

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I had to re-mortgage my house and then take out a loan to get it, fucking ridiculous man.

[–]rinja 1 point2 points ago

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You're not kidding. At a company, I saw them spend ~$220 for the keyboard, power supply, and cover to go along a $500 iPad.

No wonder I can't afford to open a brand new Apple-anything.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points ago

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That's probably your fault, not theirs when they have millions of customers loyally buying their products.

[–]rinja 0 points1 point ago

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Yup, it's completely my fault that saving money has left me little leftover to spend on Apple gear. And I'm completely satisfied.

[–]alb1234 -2 points-1 points ago

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That's exactly what I was wondering - why did the OP randomly message someone. For the lulz? To post the screencap on Reddit? Kind of pathetic...

[–]timofiend -1 points0 points ago

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Have you never let someone make a call off your phone, then some time later received a text from the number they called, asking who you are? Then having promptly forgotten you let someone make a call off your phone earlier, you text back asking why, intrigued as to why a random number is texting you asking this, but not willing to give your name out to said random phone number. Random grill conversation ensues.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Nope. But then I don't let people use my £500 phone with all my personal data in it to call random people.

[–]timofiend 1 point2 points ago

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So if your friend asked to borrow your phone to make a call, you wouldnt lend it to them? I wasnt talking about lending it to random people on the street, which is i assume why you mentioned the price of your phone.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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No way.

[–]timofiend 0 points1 point ago

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Wow. You must have a really good relationship with your friends eh.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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It's never come up.

[–]listos 3 points4 points ago

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Being that I'm obsessed with Pokemon right now, this is what I was thinking of

[–]Super-Lafcadio 13 points14 points ago*

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Oh, you funny man. Funny funny man ! Oh you. EDIT : You funny !

[–]MtHammer 2 points3 points ago

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Well if you're going to be a sarcastic dick like that, Professor Oak isn't going to give you any of his pokemon.

[–]guf 1 point2 points ago

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Ahhh beaten to the punch, brilliant my friend. Nicely done.

[–]MtHammer 0 points1 point ago

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Great minds apparently play the same video games. :)

[–]beccaonice 2 points3 points ago

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I actually know a guy whose name is George Foreman

[–]pro753698 4 points5 points ago

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Bitch, i'm a grill

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points ago

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I read it twice in a row and I cracked up twice in a row. This is an artist's rendering of my face immediately after each reading.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

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the resemblance is uncanny.

[–]zenmity 3 points4 points ago

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Yao?

[–]Excessive_Combustion -1 points0 points ago

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i?

[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points ago

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It's Obama.

[–]hi7en 1 point2 points ago

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*Gryll...and then you drank your own piss?

[–]drdeeps 6 points7 points ago

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Random person texting me.

Better drink my own piss.

[–]tHeSiD 1 point2 points ago

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This got me thinking... Its been ages since I grilled a girl :(

[–]picsandnsfwonly 1 point2 points ago

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its so bad that its probably not even fake.

[–]LeSpatula 1 point2 points ago

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Bitch... I'm a grill!

[–]doctorsax 0 points1 point ago

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I'm so proud of it, I put my NAME on it!

[–]pingas 1 point2 points ago

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perhaps you should attach a ring of unspecified metal to the said object

[–]fuckdapopo 0 points1 point ago

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ok yea i lolled

[–]Reductive 0 points1 point ago

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I like the local-centric design. More than 10 digits in your phone number? It gets the ellipse. Is the space for phone numbers the same in different localizations?

[–]yousername 0 points1 point ago

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Oh, my bad.

[–]mrcj22 0 points1 point ago

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The simplest things are often the most amusing. I love his response: "oh."

[–]occams_shovel 0 points1 point ago

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Who was texting? I would have thought it was the a friend's GF scanning text messages, but the number wasn't in your contacts.

[–]ericf150 0 points1 point ago

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Did anyone else look at this on their iphone while in class and be like "Wtf who the hell am I talking to?"

[–]yardglass 0 points1 point ago

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No

[–]prettyinpunk 0 points1 point ago

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you crack me up too

[–]brainflakes 0 points1 point ago

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Have you been putting your meat in my GF???!?

[–]IjustdontknowWTF 0 points1 point ago

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Bitch, I'm a grill

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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After you said "George Foreman", the appropriate response should have been "Which one?"

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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I can see this actually happening, as more smart appliances continue to enter the marketplace.

[–]generalchaoz 0 points1 point ago

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A relevant Conversation I had

[–]RonnDuncan 0 points1 point ago

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Oh you are a funny bunny.

[–]swimmernick 0 points1 point ago

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Haha funny foreign phone numbers are funny.

[–]razgrez 0 points1 point ago

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people with iphone's get a lot of wrong numbers. I think I will avoid getting one.

[–]FsckItDude_LetsBowl 0 points1 point ago

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Huh, until now it never really struck me that the iPhone4 screen-grabs were so much bigger than the older ones. That really is quite a lot of pixels.

[–]drscience123 0 points1 point ago

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Protip, George Foreman has a daughter named Georgette Foreman.

[–]staffell 0 points1 point ago

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George Foreman is still a male.

[–]BenoNZ 0 points1 point ago

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I get this sometimes in New Zealand. What kind of weirdo just texts random numbers with a hope of hooking up??

[–]raaabert 0 points1 point ago

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Oh god, when I read the "oh" coke and bits of the whopper I'm eating came out if my nose

[–]Lethalmud 0 points1 point ago

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singing heeyyooo...

[–]cmj4h 0 points1 point ago

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I cant imagine how confused the other guy must have been.

[–]ltperohi 0 points1 point ago

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This is grilliant.

[–]crocodileheart 0 points1 point ago

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I love how he says "oh" after you say you're a grill, like he's considering the notion of that being a gender.

[–]quix117 -1 points0 points ago

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That reminds me of the story of that guy's GF.

[–]gigashadowwolf 1 point2 points ago

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[–]dylanjohnthomas 0 points1 point ago

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Bitch i'm a grill

[–]PLJNS[!] 0 points1 point ago

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Oh so you're a grill? I'll just put my meat between you, George Hymen.

[–]frymastermeat -2 points-1 points ago

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That's so unfunny that Carlos Mencia wouldn't even steal it.

[–]rwgordon -2 points-1 points ago

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Fake.

[–]KeswickPinhead -1 points0 points ago

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[–]LettersFromTheSky -1 points0 points ago

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+44, thats england. I only know cause I've talked with clients from there and have a partnership with a business over there.

but don't worry, I crack myself up all the time too.

[–]aaaaaaaargh 2 points3 points ago

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It's not England only, ye bloody yank, there are 4 different countries that use +44!

[–]LettersFromTheSky 1 point2 points ago

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aaaaargh matey, England be t' only 44 I'm familiar with :)

[–]aaaaaaaargh 1 point2 points ago

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That silly place in the south? Ever heard of Wales, Scotland and Northern Ireland?

[–]LettersFromTheSky -1 points0 points ago

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I thought that was England....aka the UK.

[–]aaaaaaaargh 1 point2 points ago

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Aaaaaaaargh, England is NOT the UK. It's just a region full of evil people who don't eat haggis.

[–]thewonderfularthur 0 points1 point ago

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the o2 uk network may slightly give it away as well

[–]LettersFromTheSky 0 points1 point ago

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I didn't see that (I have a blackberry) so all I see is the phone number or name of the person who texted/called me.

[–]Twofer -1 points0 points ago

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We're a small island... we don't have enough space to accommodate these fucktards.

[–]Trolld_Hard -1 points0 points ago

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Fake and Gay