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Pretty sure everyone should keep a copy of this in their car. (i.imgur.com)

submitted ago by Atticus_Flinch

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[–]fuckinghole 10 points11 points ago

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Converted to an editable format and corrected, some of the original just didn't make sense.

http://www.urbanracing.net/misc/parking.rtf

[–]CAINE36 1 point2 points ago

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It's people like you, man. People who keep the ol' internet spinnin'.

[–]hrtattx 8 points9 points ago

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OR...

youparklikeanasshole.com

[–]bradlovespie 4 points5 points ago

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Seemed pretty straight forward until I saw "Wank Chariot" and "Like an Abortion". Upvote for making me lol at work.

[–]sexytronx 7 points8 points ago

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"Thank you for parking your wank chariot like an abortion" brought joy to my heart and tears to my eyes. Simply incredible.

[–]DoctorHilarius 1 point2 points ago

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I completely lost it when I read "Wank Chariot".

[–]HMJBurner 2 points3 points ago

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Just printed a few copies.

Edit: There's definitely a typo though. "Thank you so much from parking your car". I'll just make my own.

[–]IfThisWasChina -1 points0 points ago

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can you post it here?

[–]HMJBurner 1 point2 points ago

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sorry for the delay. I made changed one or two of the boxes, but it won't disappoint.

here it is

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Save pic as dumbass drivers. File. Print. Yup, going in my car first thing tomorrow.

[–]AgesMcCoor 1 point2 points ago

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I'll have you know that my wank chariot gives me the right to park anywhere I want.

[–]hvernon 1 point2 points ago

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Every Saturday morning when I run a deposit to the bank there's a fuckoff who drives a (smaller) pick up truck and parks it across three spaces. I don't know why s/he's there every Saturday morning, but it drives me insane.

Printing one of these for them.

[–]abasov 1 point2 points ago

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It's FOR NOT FROM!!! ahhhhh insert rage face

[–]rededditor 1 point2 points ago

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Except some of us really don't give a fuck when people park poorly. Such as I. Plus I would find the person who submits their opinion of someone's park job in a manner like this to be an even bigger douche than the parker.

[–]shitsoup 1 point2 points ago

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I take it you haven't lived in a city, have you?

Nothing chaps my ass quite like coming home, finding a parking spot close to my house, but then, upon closer inspection, find the driver derped up a two car spot, the last spot in a 2 block radius, into a luxurious, single car parking spot.

[–]SummerBeer 0 points1 point ago

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But that spot wouldn't have been there without the derped parking job. You are taking personal offense as if the bad parking job personally affected you, but it didn't. Unless the guy double parks right in front of you, you wouldn't have gotten that spot anyway. His bad parking job is not the proximate cause of you not getting that parking spot.

[–]shitsoup 0 points1 point ago

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Ah, but I actually don't take this personally, at least not directly, and it really has little to do with the actual spot real estate as well.

Having to park on-street in a dense neighborhood, where everyone else in the neighborhood is also parking on street, there is an unspoken, mutual agreement: parking is limited, don't park like a twat. When someone does park like a twat, that mutual agreement has been shat upon. I can only assume the driver has little regard for everyone else in the neighborhood that needs to park in the limited on-street parking, myself included, effectively chapping my ass.

[–]rededditor 0 points1 point ago

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Lol I live in a city of 1M people.

[–]chinesef000d 1 point2 points ago

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Well I know someone who isn't going to be in the annual Douche-Off this year!

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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i got something like this when i parked just a tad crooked at target once. best response is a giant "LOL"

[–]RetroEvolute 0 points1 point ago

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I happen to like these: http://www.houseofgrafix.net/You-Suck-At-Parking-Cards/View-all-products.html

[–]ex_ample 0 points1 point ago

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Left "passive aggressive loser" to the last section.

[–]ripper17 0 points1 point ago

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A copy? I need thousands!

[–]Tetha 1 point2 points ago

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enough to build an entire wall of these papers around their car so they cannot get into the car again. /trollface

[–]mage_g4 0 points1 point ago

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I have seriously considered having a load of business cards made that say something like:

Learn to park, you fucking cunt.

I really hate bad Parking. There is no excuse.

[–]darkpool 0 points1 point ago

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Sincerely,

Passive aggressive driver

[–]btb01 0 points1 point ago

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I actually now encourage my wife (she drives a bigger car than me) to park further away from places.. but to take up two spaces. I'll get her to stop doing this when all the fat/useless/lazy/careless fucks out there stop opening their car doors into the side of her car, leaving a series of crease dents.

Thank you, that is all, carry on about your business.

[–]crunk-juice 0 points1 point ago

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Where is the checkbox for all of the above?

[–]EastYork 0 points1 point ago

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my thoughts

[–]misterkris 0 points1 point ago

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Parking is serious business -nerds

[–]slyweazal 0 points1 point ago

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Way too civil. Too easy for the asshole to not take it seriously. They'd probably just scoff and turn it into litter.

I vote for a decently sized sticker that says "Douchbag" or "I'm a DOUCHEBAG" or "I park like a DOUCHEBAG."

That way it takes some effort to remove (without causing damage) and if the driver's in a rush, they'll drive around advertising their failure - hurting them in the worst possible way - their ego.

[–]tidder112 0 points1 point ago

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Do I check all that apply?

[–]Say_fuzzy_pickles 0 points1 point ago

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Don't forget there's always www.youparklikeanasshole.com

[–]phishsandwich 0 points1 point ago

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...wank chariot? I can't even figure out what that insult means.

[–]cyco 1 point2 points ago

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I believe it implies that the receiver masturbates in his or her vehicle, presumably while they should have been learning to park properly.

[–]phishsandwich 0 points1 point ago

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That is a God among insults.

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