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891
892

I don't understand this "hoverhands" that you speak of. (i.imgur.com)

submitted ago by metalmartyr

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[–]SubaruBirri 162 points163 points ago

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That poor guy :(

On the other hand though, he may be setting up for an unprecedented double elbow boob graze. This man may be smarter than we infer...

[–]HateComics 563 points564 points ago

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I got this bro.

http://i.imgur.com/TRYZT.jpg

[–]SubaruBirri 91 points92 points ago

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Someone give this man a raise, pronto.

[–]saintlawrence 19 points20 points ago

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I think he got one.

[–]tray2 6 points7 points ago

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now, GIF dat one.

[–]likwidfuzion 27 points28 points ago

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It's been a while since I've actually laughed out loud at a photo from the Internet. Congrats.

[–]apox64928 2 points3 points ago

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really? too serious

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    [–]lakerswiz 13 points14 points ago

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    Brilliant.

    [–]Rhinoceros_Party 33 points34 points ago

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    Nailed it!

    [–]K-tel 11 points12 points ago

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    You fixed that awesomely, young Pediwan.

    [–]cpq29gpl 8 points9 points ago

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    The one in blue is apparently a mermaid.

    [–]fong_u_cong_kong 4 points5 points ago

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    A++++ work buddy. That shit made me laugh out loud.

    [–]naturalrhapsody 9 points10 points ago

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    Nailed it.

    [–]rtwpsom2 2 points3 points ago*

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    Your sense of humor more than makes up for your shitty photoshop skills.

    [–]metalmartyr[S] 20 points21 points ago

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    Your condescending compliment forgives your blatant spelling error.

    [–]rtwpsom2 2 points3 points ago

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    I have no idea what you're talking about.

    [–]metalmartyr[S] 6 points7 points ago

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    Dammit.

    [–]ubr 7 points8 points ago

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    just like barry bonds's world record, his post has an asterisk.

    [–]buba1243 6 points7 points ago

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    That * is the award you get for perfect spelling.

    load more comments (1 reply)

      [–]TheBlackestManAlive 10 points11 points ago

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      That poor guy? He's showing us his rowing muscles.

      load more comments (1 reply)

        [–]fuckwithable 225 points226 points ago

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        ....because I'd rather rub my elbows on their boobs.

        [–]iamBillCosby 173 points174 points ago

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        while simultaneously covering up my boner.

        [–]igotfiveonit 53 points54 points ago

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        And drawing attention away from the two hot chicks grabbing my ass.

        [–]SexualHerAssment 66 points67 points ago

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        he has a GET YOUR FINGER OUT OF THERE!! face going on

        [–][deleted] 19 points20 points ago

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        I love it when a username is semi-relative to the comment.

        [–]fuckwithable 2 points3 points ago

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        Obviously knows what they're talking about...

        [–]quest78 7 points8 points ago

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        That's a mid-pants-jizz face if i ever saw one

        [–]stillalone 1 point2 points ago

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        She's not actually grabbing his ass, she's hoverhanding.

        [–]Dimble 4 points5 points ago

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        Exactly. This guy knew what he was doing.

        load more comments (1 reply)

          [–]Vik1ng 42 points43 points ago

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          Isn't it obvious?

          http://imgur.com/HjXil

          [–]RedditRedneck 7 points8 points ago

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          His face works perfectly for that. Brilliant!

          [–]thebillmac3 366 points367 points ago

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          Brunette in red,

          brunette in blue,

          and a nerd in the middle

          in search of a clue.

          Brunette in blue,

          brunette in red,

          and a nerd who would rather

          be raiding instead.

          [–]rainman18 26 points27 points ago

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          A nerd and two girls interact
          But he hasn't a clue how to act
          Quite scared of their charms
          He sucks in his arms
          Virginity safely intact.

          [–]K-tel 1 point2 points ago

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          There once was this girl from Nantucket....

          [–]thebillmac3 5 points6 points ago

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          Who started a joke but then said, "Ah, fuck it."

          [–]WildRever 216 points217 points ago*

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          Two girls divided by a rowing nerd,
          And sorry I could not grope them both,
          And being one pervert long I stood,
          And looked down one's top as far as I could,
          Or up the skirt to see the undergrowth.

          Then I sized up the other, just to be fair,
          And she perhaps had the better claim,
          Because she was slightly chubby and i like em thick;
          Though as for that my lack of dick,
          I'd probably bang them about the same,

          And both that morning equally stood,
          And I with my hands in front of my sack,
          Oh, I kept the first for another day!
          Yet knowing how lay leads on to lay,
          I doubted if I should ever come back.

          I shall be telling this with a sigh,
          Somewhere ages and ages hence:
          Two girls diverged by a nerd, and I—
          I took the one less sexually shy,
          And that has made all the difference.

          [–]Flyboy 77 points78 points ago

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          Some say my virginity will end in red,
          Some say in blue.
          From what I've tasted of desire
          I hold with those who favor red.
          But if I had to lose it twice,
          I think I know enough of porn
          To say that for masturbation blue
          Is also great
          And would suffice.

          /butchered Frost

          [–]clessa 40 points41 points ago

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          Adam Hoverhandes, if ever thee befall

          Blue and redde wenches withe to photographe new,

          Under thy scrawny hands thow maist have the scall,

          But after thy makinge thou courage mor trew,

          So oft a day thou mot thy nerve renewe

          It akin to a lion's, but t'will waste and wane,

          And all is thorowe thy awkwardness, thy bane.

           Adam Hoverhands, if you ever meet
 Blue and red women with whom to take a photograph,
 [The cause of your hoverhands] must be scabs or something!
 But after you gather up your courage
 And you must gather up your nerves so often
 So that you become brave like a lion, but the courage slowly fades,
 All because of your greatest fault, your awkwardness.

          [–]NahMan_ThatAintMe 5 points6 points ago

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          Tears of joy, stream down my faaaaaaaaaaaaaace.

          That was beautiful.

          [–]tonynevada 6 points7 points ago

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          If we could get a poetry thread for every 50 pun threads, I would be a very happy camper.

          [–]xyroclast 8 points9 points ago

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          I'd venture to say he's waiting to cover his erection, and planning ahead, might it go either direction.

          [–]Nitric_Acid 2 points3 points ago

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          I love you all so much!!!

          [–]deakster 6 points7 points ago

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          These ABCCB rhymes are just too advanced for my brain :/

          [–]omnipotant 4 points5 points ago

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          same-and if it's not iambic tetrameter it makes my head hurt.

          [–]ramses0 5 points6 points ago

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          Strephon kissed me in the spring,
          Robin in the fall,
          But Colin only looked at me
          And never kissed at all.

          Strephon’s kiss was lost in jest,
          Robin’s lost in play,
          But the kiss in Colin’s eyes
          Haunts me night and day.

          --Sara Teasdale

          [–]gradyh 3 points4 points ago

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          I am crying haha

          [–]kbedell 2 points3 points ago

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          You are a genius. Thank you.

          [–]dokuhebi 1 point2 points ago

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          That poem is beautiful. bestof'd, and you deserve far more.

          [–]princetrunks 19 points20 points ago

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          I bet he had a raging clue.

          load more comments (7 replies)

            [–]hookeslaw 28 points29 points ago*

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            Hover hands are governed by the laws of anti-gravitation. As we can see in fig.1, his hands are being pushed away awkwardly perpendicular to the closest female surface.

            [–][deleted] 17 points18 points ago

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            Decompose the awkward vector into its normal and tangential components.

            [–]jascalot 7 points8 points ago

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            Haha that made me visualize his arms as pendulums, wildly flailing in response to local conflicting A-forces.

            [–][deleted] 5 points6 points ago

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            Moving on to fig. 2, we can see that little johnny is projecting perpendicular to the plane away from it according to the right-hand-screw rule.

            load more comments (2 replies)

              [–]rorykins 80 points81 points ago

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              That is how he rows.

              [–]SexualHerAssment 12 points13 points ago

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              this is how he elBOWS

              [–]hobbers 3 points4 points ago

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              Do that again, and you'll receive a stern talking-to.

              [–]statedtheobvious 1 point2 points ago

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              She looks like quite the cockswain.

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                [–]andstep234 20 points21 points ago

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                I think that's his O face

                [–]Xyenon 3 points4 points ago

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                Fuck you, Office Space. I'm never going to be able to read "O Face" in any other voice again.

                [–]jenzthename 3 points4 points ago

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                Is O Face ever written when it's not intended to be read that way?

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                  load more comments (1 reply)

                    [–]taerin 15 points16 points ago

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                    I'm starting to think high school aged guys look awkward as an evolutionary measure, forcing them to develop their social skills in order to get laid. Doesn't look like it worked on this poor fella.

                    [–]YaoSlap 7 points8 points ago

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                    How long before he joins the rest of us on Reddit?

                    [–]yeahfuckyou 35 points36 points ago

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                    He's just showing off his guns. True alpha, doesn't even care that the bitches are there.

                    [–]ojoil 150 points151 points ago

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                    If I know highschool girls as well as I think I do, they did that purely to try and embarrass the poor fella.

                    [–]jrsherrod 147 points148 points ago

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                    And if I know reality as well as I know reality, if that guy just owned that shit and put his arms around them and threw up some kinda goofy face, he would have increased his pimpitude by tenfold. Fuck their intentions with your intentions, and see if yours win.

                    [–]insertAlias 55 points56 points ago

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                    Fuck their intentions with your intentions, and see if yours win.

                    Out of context, that seems like creepy rape advice.

                    [–]jrsherrod 16 points17 points ago

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                    Or politics.

                    [–]naturalcauzes 25 points26 points ago

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                    creepy rape advice

                    great rape advice

                    FTFY

                    [–]Humpa 2 points3 points ago

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                    I've... I've made a terrible mistake.

                    [–]ojoil 21 points22 points ago

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                    Damn straight....alas, easier said than done.

                    [–]jrsherrod 10 points11 points ago

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                    Under these circumstances? Nah, it's easier to do than it is to say it. Now, whether or not it's easy to realize that's what you should do and allow that for yourself...

                    [–]dudemann 11 points12 points ago*

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                    Exactly. These girls are posing for a camera shot with the dude, there's no way they'd flip out if he put his arms around them... it's pretty much expected.

                    Edit: missing word

                    load more comments (1 reply)

                      [–][deleted] 37 points38 points ago

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                      If I know highschool girls as well as I think I do

                      "Hi, I'm Chris Hansen. Will you please have a seat over there?"

                      [–]phormality 3 points4 points ago

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                      Maybe it is his knowledge of how high school girls think which makes him stay far away. They are generally retarded.

                      load more comments (4 replies)

                        [–]phanboy 15 points16 points ago

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                        The head cheerleader in my class, who you'd think would have been a complete bitch, was actually pretty nice. Our names fell next to each other alphabetically, so I got to talk with her whenever we were arranged by name (lockers, seating assignments, etc.)

                        [–]CptSpaulding 2 points3 points ago

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                        most of the cheerleaders at my highschool were very nice as well. they won state, too, so they weren't some poorman's group of cheerleaders, they were legit. WOO nice cheerleaders.

                        load more comments (1 reply)

                          [–]Mannex 5 points6 points ago

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                          THOSE HORRIBLE GIRLS WHEN WILL THEY STOP

                          [–]shamoni 2 points3 points ago

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                          Maybe all three are in it together, and he's one of the popular kids in school.

                          [–][deleted] 18 points19 points ago

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                          I don't think so. They look kind of sweet.

                          [–]cultured_banana_slug 13 points14 points ago

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                          Men's Rights: They all look kind of sweet until they steal your sperm.

                          [–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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                          You are forgetting that almost all girls < 25 are pretty 'hot' just because they're young and probably have an athletic extracurricular. Combined with the fact that any mildly attractive girl can look doubly hot with hair, makeup, and a form-fitting outfit, you could easily have a situation here where these girls are friends with this guy IRL and just came to mess with him when they got dressed up for a dance. Hot != mean, especially 'accidental' hotness, which is what you get when you're young, healthy, and in shape.

                          [–][deleted] 12 points13 points ago

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                          You're pretty much wrong on every point you're trying to make. Not every girl under 25 is attractive, and no one acts that nervous around their friends.

                          [–]gnomeansno 1 point2 points ago

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                          ...could just be an awkward guy trying to mess up their picture.

                          load more comments (2 replies)

                            load more comments (5 replies)

                              [–][deleted] 45 points46 points ago

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                              Feel free to post more pictures of your sister and her friend.

                              [–]terrapinbear 11 points12 points ago

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                              and your cousin

                              [–]mr_nielson 64 points65 points ago

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                              Forever arowe

                              [–]istilldrinkpbr 56 points57 points ago

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                              Row row row the boobs....

                              [–][deleted] 67 points68 points ago

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                              Someday maybe he'll stop rowing and upgrade to the motorboat.

                              [–]abledanger 5 points6 points ago

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                              Yes. It's a much more efficient use of time.

                              load more comments (1 reply)

                                [–]FuckThe 2 points3 points ago

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                                ...Gently just don't squeeze...

                                [–]pics-or-didnt-happen 10 points11 points ago

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                                and by the time he told the story to his buddies that night, he had nailed them both.

                                [–]karnoculars 9 points10 points ago

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                                Hey, I've seen this movie and I know how it ends.

                                [–]bigspooon 2 points3 points ago

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                                I was expecting a link to The Social Network.

                                load more comments (2 replies)

                                  [–]50lerp 19 points20 points ago

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                                  It's times like these that we turn to the wisdom of the late Sir Morpheus:

                                  "You take the blue pill - the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill - you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit-hole goes."

                                  [–]tulkas71 10 points11 points ago

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                                  Morpheus is Dead? and Knighted?

                                  [–]50lerp 2 points3 points ago

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                                  No, he's just classy. And he died in the video game.

                                  load more comments (1 reply)

                                    [–]happywaffle 17 points18 points ago

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                                    Guys, seriously, if this is you: STOP IT. Touch the women, for fuck's sake—who knows, it might be the only time you ever touch hot women. Who cares if you've got a boner? OWN IT. Smile for the camera.

                                    [–]phanboy 17 points18 points ago

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                                    One of my high school fuckups was not getting a little more friendly with the girl who quite intentionally proceeded to put a hand on my thigh.

                                    [–]IOveruseSmileys 19 points20 points ago

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                                    Urghhh... REPRESSED MEMORIES!!!* :'(

                                    load more comments (1 reply)

                                      [–]arsenal7777 5 points6 points ago

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                                      All the women I touched told me to stop touching them.

                                      (goes in a corner to weep)

                                      load more comments (1 reply)

                                        [–]knockout6119 8 points9 points ago

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                                        this is really random but I was actually there 5 years ago....the back story is that the building behind them is the engineering building at a college in Ohio and the girls come every summer for a cheerleading camp....best thing to wake up in the morning to on the way to class...

                                        [–][deleted] 7 points8 points ago

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                                        Are there any "hoverhand" pics where the genders are reversed? A socially awkward girl posing for a pic with an very attractive guy?

                                        [–]BitchesLove 3 points4 points ago

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                                        I doubt it, but points to whoever finds one

                                        [–][deleted] ago

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                                        [deleted]

                                        [–]BitchesLove 6 points7 points ago

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                                        upvote. She's cute tho

                                        [–]fakeredditor 7 points8 points ago

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                                        Hoverhands would be a great improvement for this guy

                                        [–][deleted] 6 points7 points ago

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                                        that kid is a straight up fucking baller

                                        [–]FLYBOY611 4 points5 points ago

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                                        When I become a parent, one of the things I will make sure to teach my son is how to interact with women.

                                        [–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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                                        And how is that?

                                        [–]FLYBOY611 10 points11 points ago

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                                        Well the key feature is to not treat them like "women" or "people you want to have sex with" and instead treat them as if they were totally normal people who you want to hang out with.

                                        If that picture was three guys then the nerd would probably have his arms across their shoulders. That same response is what this guy should be doing.

                                        [–]Patrick_M_Bateman 5 points6 points ago

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                                        don't be creepy don't be creepy don't be creepy

                                        [–]layendecker 129 points130 points ago

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                                        I don't mean this in a harsh way, but I would be a little sad and disappointed in myself if I was that kids father.

                                        [–]meme4343 184 points185 points ago

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                                        wow, that is really harsh.

                                        [–]thebillmac3 123 points124 points ago

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                                        Nice try, kid from photo.

                                        [–]layendecker 56 points57 points ago

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                                        Stop speaking down to my son.

                                        [–]DogNamedSnuggles 13 points14 points ago

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                                        Give me back my son.

                                        [–]Gremlinski 7 points8 points ago

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                                        GIVE ME THE MONEY!

                                        [–]IOveruseSmileys 3 points4 points ago

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                                        I'm just glad there's no pictures of me with hot women! Wait... :/

                                        [–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

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                                        hey now. They get way less awkward later on. Or at least I did. If high school me was college me's son...there would be daily beatings. Until morale raises.

                                        [–]wallychamp 1 point2 points ago

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                                        Everyone loves the college rebirth!

                                        [–]Johnmcguirk 6 points7 points ago

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                                        You mean that in a loving way. Gotcha.

                                        [–]thebillmac3 14 points15 points ago

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                                        Nice try, kid's father.

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                                          [–]wtfnoreally 1 point2 points ago

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                                          Sometimes the sad truth is funny.

                                          [–]iznotbutterz 1 point2 points ago

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                                          From a personal experience, parents are never satisfied. Once, in 9th grade, I got out of school suspended for "hacking"( I only put a keylogger on my own account and said "cool, it works, something to put on the admin account" and never got around to it). Father says to co-worker,"He got suspended for hacking, my son should have gotten suspended for being in the bathroom with a girl or something, that would have been cool" Lo and behold, my Junior year, I got caught in the girls room with a female and my Father was still disappointed

                                          [–]daftpunkfunk 1 point2 points ago

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                                          And some of that blame would be on the father who never gave a shit about his son because he was a narcissistic fuckwit who never thought of anyone else besides himself.

                                          Oh wait, I'm just talking about my dad.

                                          [–]rivermandan 14 points15 points ago

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                                          I would much rather have an awkward kid that is nervous around the ladies than a fucking retarded jock

                                          [–]maddawg579 53 points54 points ago

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                                          It can't just be a normal kid who knows how to interact with girls?

                                          [–]salgat 15 points16 points ago

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                                          What's your point? I'd rather him being awkward kid than a murdering sociopath but that certainly doesn't mean much.

                                          [–]rivermandan 1 point2 points ago

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                                          Because this guy just said that he would be sad and disappointed if his kid was socially awkward. It is safe to assume that if his kid was a douchy jock, he would be proud, as most dads want their kids to be star athletes, and likewise wouldn't consider their star athlete a sad disappointment if it was discovered that they also teased nerds.

                                          The value of athleticism is commonly over appreciated in dads, likewise, the negative value of social awkwardness is equally overstated in these men.

                                          When I have a child, I want him to think for himself, and be comfortable in his gown skin knowing that I could never be disappointed in him for simply being born a certain way.

                                          If my kid is a star athlete, I will go to his games and cheer him on. If he is a musician, I will go to all of his shows. If he plays video games, I will wipe the floor with my latent skills. If dance is his thing, i will spend years trying to understand the value in dance. If he is a nerdy programmer with nerd friends, I will host LAN parties for him, show him pictures of my nerd friends in high school, then show him pictures of the fine ladies I got with later on.

                                          Whatever my child is, I will emphasize rational thinking and empathy at every moment of their lives, and they will be just fine

                                          [–]jerkro 31 points32 points ago

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                                          Classic Reddit answer. If you were a social misfit in high school, why would you want your child to be one?

                                          [–]effedup 11 points12 points ago

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                                          Because it was only ever the "fucking retarded jocks" that teased him and threw snow balls at him from 10 feet back every day on the way to school (in the winter), and embarrassed him in front of his peers that contributed to low self esteem and social issues in school. He'd rather have an awkward kid that is nervous than have a kid who treats other people like shit. That's why.

                                          edit: you know, all stereotyping, generalizing, and dichotomies aside.

                                          load more comments (1 reply)

                                            [–]Mulsanne 6 points7 points ago

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                                            I'd rather not decide based on false dichotomies.

                                            But it's very amusing how much you have told us about yourself with this little comment.

                                            [–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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                                            I would rather have a smart AND athletic kid.

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                                              [–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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                                              Then dispose computers before acquiring kids.

                                              [–]LarsThorwald 0 points1 point ago

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                                              Ha! I'm a father, and I think I would probably be inclined to think my kid was being goofy or ironic or something. Bu a lame-ass unable to talk game to attractive women? No father would ever think that about their kid without first eliminating every other possibility.

                                              [–]IOveruseSmileys 14 points15 points ago

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                                              Well thanks for helping my self esteem, now I know that my parents are disappointed in me! :/

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                                                [–]dclowd9901 5 points6 points ago

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                                                This is the most advanced case of neverhands I've... never seen.

                                                [–]jessabell 4 points5 points ago

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                                                http://imgur.com/3JphC coming from girl in blue. btw its our sisters boyfriend

                                                [–]borez 11 points12 points ago

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                                                He's in oar of them.

                                                [–]PA55W0RD 4 points5 points ago

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                                                Have an up-boat

                                                [–]borez 0 points1 point ago

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                                                Pull the rudder one.

                                                [–]AwesomeThunderbolt 3 points4 points ago

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                                                This pun thread is sinking.

                                                [–]drgradus 2 points3 points ago

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                                                Lets see if we can keep it afloat.

                                                [–]Kemuel 2 points3 points ago

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                                                ...make them go away please?

                                                [–]kakeman987 2 points3 points ago

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                                                jailbait and a half

                                                [–]CaptainDexterMorgan 2 points3 points ago

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                                                I hope this meme has taught us nerds to never hoverhand again.

                                                [–]TurboDowns 2 points3 points ago

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                                                CHOOSE THE RED PILL NEO!!!

                                                [–]mrshampoo 2 points3 points ago

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                                                http://i.imgur.com/eHpuC.jpg

                                                [–]aaronmotor 2 points3 points ago

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                                                Must...not..fap...

                                                [–]Splashyy 7 points8 points ago

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                                                That's what I love about them high school girls..

                                                [–]popcorntrick 14 points15 points ago

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                                                I get older, they stay the same age.

                                                • Wooderson

                                                [–]mbaran 12 points13 points ago

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                                                I get older, they stay the same age.

                                                • Wooderson
                                                            -Abraham Lincoln

                                                [–]istilldrinkpbr 4 points5 points ago

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                                                "Besides getting shot on the back of the head, do you know what else Abraham Lincoln did? He was a champion wrestler in high school. And I’m not making that up…" -Kenny Powers

                                                [–]Bukouchski 3 points4 points ago

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                                                Row, row fight the bonah.

                                                [–]istilldrinkpbr 1 point2 points ago

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                                                It's just an optical illusion in the pants.

                                                [–]theGolgiApparatus 2 points3 points ago

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                                                Better take them back to the pants store.

                                                load more comments (1 reply)

                                                  [–]Dognar 4 points5 points ago

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                                                  Hoverhands, for those that don't know what it is.

                                                  [–]logantauranga 1 point2 points ago

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                                                  He doesn't know which way it's gonna flick. Gotta cover your bases.

                                                  [–]ZeekySantos 1 point2 points ago

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                                                  Holy shit, I think I know that guy, or a guy who looks exactly like him. OP, do you know him or is this an Internet thing?

                                                  [–]happywaffle 8 points9 points ago

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                                                  I loved him in "Little Miss Sunshine."

                                                  [–]AwesomeThunderbolt 2 points3 points ago

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                                                  He was great in "The Girl Next Door".

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                                                    [–]bside 1 point2 points ago

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                                                    says Mr. Sausage Arms

                                                    [–]dolver 1 point2 points ago

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                                                    Oh hi there Paul Dano, how're the ladies?

                                                    [–]LarsThorwald 1 point2 points ago

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                                                    Upboat for the catch, but you must agree neither of those girls is gonna drink his milkshake.

                                                    [–][deleted] ago

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                                                    [deleted]

                                                    [–]mmca 2 points3 points ago

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                                                    http://www.reddit.com/r/jailbait

                                                    [–]jayj76 1 point2 points ago

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                                                    This is so beautifully awkward.

                                                    EDIT: Awkwardly beautiful?

                                                    [–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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                                                    Do you go to Tom Landry middle school?

                                                    [–]reloadfreak 1 point2 points ago

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                                                    You should put your arms around the ladies. First step to get out of the shell. Worry about your armpit smell or something? Just get in there! ladies like some participation!

                                                    [–]Halpert 1 point2 points ago

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                                                    Boob touching his left elbow. He's trying to cover up his instant boner

                                                    [–]pxied 1 point2 points ago

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                                                    I think I'm missing something....

                                                    [–]bimlo 1 point2 points ago

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                                                    It's sad I have a few high school pics like that. And every time I look at them I curse myself for now manning up to the situation.

                                                    [–]hurler_jones 1 point2 points ago

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                                                    By juxtaposing his arms against his crotch, you can't see his wood. WIN!

                                                    [–]Caedus_Vao 1 point2 points ago

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                                                    I give the guy massive credit for the jury-rigged boner concealment he's got going on.

                                                    [–]middlegeek 1 point2 points ago

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                                                    His shirt would be funnier if he was Asian.

                                                    [–]fennoberg 1 point2 points ago

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                                                    "i respect women, i respect women so much i stay the hell away from them"

                                                    [–]azwethinkweizm 1 point2 points ago

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                                                    Oh come on you awkward fuck, either put your hands on their shoulders or FUCK OFF.

                                                    [–]Stevenson182 1 point2 points ago

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                                                    I shit you not, I went to grade school with that kid for 3 years

                                                    [–]asocialnetwork 1 point2 points ago

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                                                    more hoverhand goodness: http://www.buzzfeed.com/nikoguy1/instant-virgin-detector-5xy

                                                    [–]KingselyZissou 1 point2 points ago

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                                                    hahahaha I know this kid where did you find this picture proof http://i.imgur.com/GgwPs.jpg he also has a girlfriend that is not too bad this kid is a god http://i.imgur.com/XIHH5.jpg OP please respond we must solve this!

                                                    [–]elusivesora 1 point2 points ago

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                                                    The one on the left looks like my step-sister...

                                                    [–]BitchesLove 1 point2 points ago

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                                                    Tell her I said Hey

                                                    [–]MadtownLems 2 points3 points ago

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                                                    How does this picture even get taken? Who requested it? Are those mean bitches who are trying to have some fun at his expense? Did he have enough courage to ask them for a photo, but not enough to touch them? Or is the cameraman an asshole who thought it'd be funny? Also - shotgun red.

                                                    [–]cmmoyer 0 points1 point ago

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                                                    What school is this?

                                                    [–]HaroldOfTheRocks 1 point2 points ago

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                                                    It looks like the one from Better Off Dead

                                                    [–]Johnmcguirk 1 point2 points ago

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                                                    Middle... High at most.

                                                    load more comments (3 replies)

                                                      [–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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                                                      Don't bully me, Daniel!

                                                      [–]mediEvil 0 points1 point ago

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                                                      He looks just like one of my friends.

                                                      [–]themonkeyswon 0 points1 point ago

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                                                      Is this in Plano, TX?

                                                      [–]CornFedHonky 0 points1 point ago

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                                                      Those are called "limp salami arms".

                                                      [–]RedSquaree 0 points1 point ago

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                                                      Haha, socially awkward nerd.

                                                      [–]RedSquaree 1 point2 points ago

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                                                      Also, more fitting for this guy to be in the "this guy will never have a girlfriend" post than the dude from 3rd rock.

                                                      [–]thefamilyjules42 0 points1 point ago

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                                                      This looks way too much like the high school I went to. It's bringing up horrible memories...

                                                      [–]maxp0wah 0 points1 point ago

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                                                      what's this called... shoulder lock?

                                                      [–]lithium13 0 points1 point ago

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                                                      Ah yes, the rare "reverse hover hand"

                                                      [–]smurfjoe 0 points1 point ago

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                                                      Hovermasturbation.

                                                      [–]imhereforanonymitty 0 points1 point ago

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                                                      You gotta give him credit though. If your into rowing, thats a pretty sick shirt. For the other 99.9% of people out there.... face palm.

                                                      [–]InocentRoadkill 0 points1 point ago

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                                                      That's the "oh shit, should have worn deodorant today!" look.

                                                      [–]maddog66 0 points1 point ago

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                                                      i can't put my finer on it, but i swear he looks like somebody that everyone knows.

                                                      [–]SquirrelBoy 0 points1 point ago

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                                                      Blue... Definitely blue... Yep yep...

                                                      /rainman'd

                                                      load more comments (52 replies)

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