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top 200 commentsshow all 328

[–]triceracop 241 points242 points ago

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It's comforting to know that even gorillas need to exaggerate their confusion before turning around, just so people don't think they're a freak.

[–]gettothechoppaaaa -4 points-3 points ago

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aaaaaa

[–]diamond 130 points131 points ago

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"...wait. Did I lock the tree?"

[–][deleted] 45 points46 points ago

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Dammit, I left my banana on the table.

[–]Skeledroid 13 points14 points ago

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[Gorilla walks back into his place of residence]

Him: Honey, I forgot my damn banana again!

Her: Sorry, Junior just took the last one into his bedroom.

Him: God damnit!

[He storms toward his son's room, stomping angrily the whole way. He gets to Junior's room and kicks the door off its hinges]

Him: Oh... my... god...

[He notices Junior laying on the floor, as pale as a gorilla can be -- slightly foaming from the mouth]

Him: GOD NO WHY JUNIORRR!!!!!

[He's shaking incredibly bad from fright, he notices something in Junior's hand]

Him: WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!! YOU'VE BEEN SNIFFING GLUE?!!?

[Picks up the Gorilla Glue and proceeds to violently beat Junior while unconscious. Junior ends up addicted to inhalants for the rest of his life. The end]

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points ago

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:/

[–]Ellemeno 1 point2 points ago

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I was expecting a "BANANA PHONE!" joke.

[–]Skeledroid 3 points4 points ago

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You orange glad I didn't say banana. :(

[–]totalBS 67 points68 points ago

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He had to act confused because he doesn't have a cell phone and watches like us

[–]blargh9001 16 points17 points ago

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I never realized that, but now that you mention that I definately do that.

[–]Rain12913 1 point2 points ago

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And here I thought that I was really fooling people with my fake "surprise --> frustrated disappointment" face whenever I have to stop dead in my tracks and turn around while walking down the street.

[–]norsurfit 522 points523 points ago

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Would you please stop evolving? It scares the tourists...

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]sigma_noise[!] 249 points250 points ago

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"fuck this, I need a cigarette"

[–]tetherin 331 points332 points ago

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That or "Aw damn, burrito is kickin in"

[–]ChiefNugs 17 points18 points ago

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More like kickin out.

[–]porkmaster 25 points26 points ago

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i thought it was more of a Cartman "screw you guys. i'm goin' home."

[–]Hot_Soup 44 points45 points ago

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I guarantee you there is a mob of ignoramuses out there that is wondering if that is evolution caught on tape as it happens.

[–]sirbruce 20 points21 points ago

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I saw on the news that his father had the same ability to walk upright. It is indeed evolution on tape.

[–]Hot_Soup 19 points20 points ago

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but not spontaneous pokemon style evolution

[–]bluemeep 20 points21 points ago

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PRIMEAPE used STRUT!

[–]DeltaMan 16 points17 points ago

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midget in a suit

[–]serpentjaguar 2 points3 points ago

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If he's the same one I saw on a cheeseball news program the other day, he's actually six feet tall when standing upright, but doesn't look like it to us because we're thinking in terms of human proportions. In other words, that ain't no midget, that's 600+ lbs of baddassery.

[–]Tuscany007 25 points26 points ago*

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It wouldn't surprise me if some christian fundamentalist tried to murder that gorilla.

Edit: grammar

[–]moogle516 5 points6 points ago

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They have to hide the human-chip hyrbirds from the public.

[–]ZenaLundgren 15 points16 points ago

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Hyrbirds?!? FUCK WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!

[–]quietloudquiet 10 points11 points ago

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I for one welcome our Hybrid-Gorilla overlords.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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But NOT those fucking terrible Hyrbirds.

[–]duggtodeath 6 points7 points ago

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Human-chip? Can I be a Dorito hybrid?

[–]highboyfresh 5 points6 points ago

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Pretty sure you were already born :)

[–]philonius 5 points6 points ago

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Start a new post - Browsing reddit from inside Mom's womb, week 33: AMA

[–]hypernova2121 4 points5 points ago

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pre-natal internet. its all the rage

[–]duggtodeath 2 points3 points ago

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Okay :(

[–]The_Prince1513 2 points3 points ago

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Naa those are just a myth. The Russians tried it out and it didn't work.

Seriously

[–]Warlizard 416 points417 points ago*

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Crossposted to:

/r/atheism -- "Ok, Christians, THERE'S your 'Missing Link'".

/r/sex -- "Hah, that's how my wife walked out last night after I tried the "Candle Maneuver".

/r/gonewild -- "[F]irst time, please be nice"

/r/conspiracy -- "They trained gorillas to be suicide bombers back in the early 1970s."

/r/trees -- "HAHAHHAAHAH (8)."

[–]darkpower05 254 points255 points ago

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/r/askreddit -- "Help Reddit, I started walking. What should I do next?"

[–]vincent118 140 points141 points ago

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Get a lawyer. Hit the gym. Delete Facebook.

[–]franz4000 23 points24 points ago

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Never put your dick in knuckledragging. You dodged a bullet.

[–]SenorZorro2000 5 points6 points ago

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Throw her bananas into the lake. And something about face cream...

[–]HoverJet 11 points12 points ago

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Hit a lawyer. Delete the gym. Get Facebook.

got it, thank you.

[–]brynnablue 3 points4 points ago

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Delete the gym. Hit a lawyer. Facebook up.

[–]techdawg667 2 points3 points ago

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Hit a lawyer

That is one thing you should never ever do.

[–]metroid23 2 points3 points ago

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Especially after you deleted the gym!

[–]akbc 1 point2 points ago

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but at least you got facebook up.

[–]bradygilg 16 points17 points ago

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/r/askreddit -- "Does anyone else like gorillas?"

[–]multifaceted 3 points4 points ago

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"I started walking upright. Did I go too far?"

[–]Error_Value 1 point2 points ago

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/r/circlejerk - "I took a rocketship to the moon. Did I go too far?"

[–]evanphi 12 points13 points ago

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/r/doesanybodyelse -- "Does anyone else like gorillas?"

[–]bradygilg 20 points21 points ago

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Clearly you don't read askreddit often.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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The next thing you should do is definitely read Kafka's "A Report to an Academy" and discuss the role of imitation in humanity.

[–]Liefx 170 points171 points ago

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/r/gaming "This is a console gamer and this is a PC gamer"

[–]Warlizard 38 points39 points ago

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Nailed it.

[–][deleted] 21 points22 points ago

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i play console games, and i love these jokes.

[–]Liefx 24 points25 points ago

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I also play console games and I made the joke.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points ago

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i remember my first joke

[–]bwillb 6 points7 points ago

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I knew that joke when it was on vinyl.

[–]muhfuhkuh 4 points5 points ago

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/r/minecraft "New Mob idea. Notch! Get your lazy ass off vacation and implement this! My $10 investment in the rest of your life demands such!" clap-clap

[–]Ace1999 108 points109 points ago

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/r/politics -- "On the way to the studio, Glenn Beck suddenly remembers to get his medication"

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points ago

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I don't think Beck has evolved far enough to be the star of OP's video.

[–]t35t0r 69 points70 points ago

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/r/iama - "IAMA a Gorilla that just started walking upright, AMA"

[–]MemeWatcher 98 points99 points ago

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/r/inglip:

Lord, what should I do next?

Evolve primate

It shall be done.

[–]Warlizard 7 points8 points ago

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Really good one.

[–]derrelicte 6 points7 points ago

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Wow...there's a subreddit for everything. This is hilarious.

[–]squidsbee 2 points3 points ago

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MemeWatcher, you live up to your namesake and serve our Lord Inglip well.

[–]kore464 31 points32 points ago

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/r/programming:

Added some walking algorithms to my monkey simulator.

[–]Cayou 91 points92 points ago*

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/r/malkovitch -- "Malkovitch malkovitch malkovitch malkovitch Malkovitch."

EDIT: Goddammit, I can't even spell "Malkovich" right :-(

[–]Diretemus 11 points12 points ago

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I checked for /r/malkovitch and despaired.

[–]buffetworker 50 points51 points ago

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That's not how you spell it. r/malkovich

:)

[–]Diretemus 16 points17 points ago

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You just made my early afternoon!

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points ago

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That's... an amazing subreddit

Oops, I mean

Malkovich... malkovich malkovich malkovich-malkovich

[–]Darthducky 16 points17 points ago

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/r/f7u12 -- FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUU

[–]formlex7 14 points15 points ago

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No, it would probably be the "fuck that bitch" face

[–]MaxxS 13 points14 points ago

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Just learned how to walk, Fuck Yeah! (True Story) (First Rage)

[–]kabukistar 1 point2 points ago

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"Gorillas. [True story] [First comic!]"

[–]dedd1t 42 points43 points ago

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/r/worldnews - "inspired by recent revolutions in Tunisia and Egypt, gorillas have started walking upright"

[–][deleted] 33 points34 points ago

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/r/worldnews - King Kong-il begins his rise to power

[–]madman1969 10 points11 points ago

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Said to possess barrels of mass destruction.

[–]SenorZorro2000 5 points6 points ago

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U.S. hires expert Italian consultant to help surmount these deadly obstacles.

[–]MCLand 1 point2 points ago

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Sir, this made me LOL. Thankyou.

[–]cjdyal 23 points24 points ago

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/r/DoesAnybodyElse - "DAE think this is funny?"

/r/IAMA - "I am the gorilla in the video - AMA!"

[–]SpencerDub 15 points16 points ago

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/r/VXJunkies -- "Looks like someone realized he left his Arcantogrip Hypo-Equalizer running at .56 phi!"

[–]rolmos 33 points34 points ago

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/r/todayilearned -- "TIL there's a funny video of a gorilla"

[–]Jimmy60 15 points16 points ago

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While your jokes are funny there is something to the missing link thing.

The individual gorilla is not a missing link but the allele (genetic marker) is in a way. Watching the news this morning I learned that his father also did this and one or two of his sisters as well. This clearly means that his blood line has this allele that likes to express itself. An allele that very likely can be traced back to the common ancestor of all apes, including humans.

If this allele somehow improved his chances of reproducing either by helping him survive more easily or the females in the population just find him hot because he walks, it gets passed on more and expressed more frequently. If walking becomes really valuable to the population then it can eventually become the norm and you get another ape species that walks.

This is very likely what happened to our own human ancestors millions of years ago.

Simply put, this gorilla walking is strong supportive evidence of evolution.

[–]Warlizard 2 points3 points ago

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Far more information than I get from most of my jokes.

[–]suspicious666 3 points4 points ago

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Did anyone mention Oliver the Chimp? His story always fascinated me. Mostly how he captured peoples' imagination, and he had an interesting story. I saw a documentary about him when I was growing up, and his story has stuck with me ever since. Give it a look, it's interesting.

[–]ConwayPA 9 points10 points ago

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r/picsofdeadkids -- ಠ_ಠ

[–]HoverJet 6 points7 points ago

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fuck i hope thats not a real subreddit. i am to scared to check.

[–]heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey 14 points15 points ago

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Better fucking believe it's real.

[–]SandBoxKing 2 points3 points ago

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Unfortunately, it is.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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It is real. It was made to prove a point, but still.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

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Some points should not be proven.

[–]ayebaj 2 points3 points ago

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Dude...

[–]mship 2 points3 points ago

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Hmmm, whats the "Candle Maneuver"?

[–]Warlizard 1 point2 points ago

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Was going to say, "Ask your mom", but that's just rude. I made it up.

Or did I?

[–]highboyfresh 4 points5 points ago

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Can someone create a novelty account where they give alternate headlines for a submitted item? This is hilarious.

[–]jisoukishi 3 points4 points ago

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/r/funny -- "Crossposted to....."

[–]KarmaDog6999 9 points10 points ago

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/r/christianity -- Kill it... Kill it with fire

[–]fap_de_oaid 7 points8 points ago

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/r/2xchromsomes -- "Let's talk about our periods"

[–]Warlizard 35 points36 points ago

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/r/2xchromsomes -- "Typical man"

FTFY

[–]voreSnake 1 point2 points ago

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It's funny because it's true ;_;

[–]Warlizard 1 point2 points ago

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Yeah, funny how many different views come from one event.

[–]geauxxxxx 1 point2 points ago

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=10 million karmas

[–]Gravey9 55 points56 points ago

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This is my buddy Steve's video show him some love reddit!! It was also on CNN last night

Source: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ad7qzI03fqE

[–]Jernon 15 points16 points ago

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A friend linked me to this news article and video about that gorilla. The video, helped greatly by the music it's set to, is brilliant.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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You're not lion about that music.

[–]LoveNectar 1 point2 points ago

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Ugh...I can't bear another pun thread.

[–]ctyt 24 points25 points ago

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I got my shins blown off by a Japan-man's machine gun.

[–][deleted] 13 points14 points ago

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Dammit Bobby.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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I read this in his voice picturing him holding "Good Hank"

[–]FatGuyANALLIttlecoat 66 points67 points ago

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he walks like Danny DeVito

[–]Monarchy44 1 point2 points ago

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see .gif , first thing i think of, ctrl + f danny devito "SHIIIIIITTTT" . good thinking dude.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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FUUUU beat me to it.

[–]Mixava 28 points29 points ago

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someone needs to replace its head with Danny DeVito getting a drink

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]Thumper86 6 points7 points ago

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Wait... if it wasn't Danny Devito, who was it?

[–]godzilla8nj 10 points11 points ago*

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Enjoy.

Edit: The original.

[–]guitarguy62000 46 points47 points ago

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it's a midget in a gorilla suit!

[–]tohellwithwhales 25 points26 points ago

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It's cheaper that way.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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That's a pretty huge midget.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

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No.

He's a gorilla called Ambam, and I've seen him at the safari-park in Kent.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

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I think that was real.

[–]zmsz 9 points10 points ago

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Ahh, the majestic mountain gorilla.

[–]bag-o-tricks 4 points5 points ago

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The arms to legs ratio was astounding! He's just a couple of huge arms walking around.

[–]suzepie 1 point2 points ago

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Don't forget the noggin. That is one massive melon. Crazy proportions.

[–]Chachoregard 4 points5 points ago

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"Not gonna do it, tell another primate to do it, I'm out."

[–]ProbablyHittingOnYou 12 points13 points ago

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Screw you guys, I'm goin' home.

[–]rangrang 4 points5 points ago*

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"Oh shit. I forgot to lock up ma bananas"

[–]Willis13579 5 points6 points ago

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Bipedal, motherfucka

[–]henleyregatta 3 points4 points ago

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Would someone please tell Naboo we've found where Bollo's been skiving off to?

[–]that_hz 3 points4 points ago

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Anyone who doubts evolution has clearly never contrasted this image with my dad getting angry and storming out of the room.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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Ompah-lumpa doopidee do!

[–]Kruse 1 point2 points ago

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"Oh shit, gotta poop!"

[–]victorapplesmash 2 points3 points ago

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I've never seen an upright gorilla before. That looks unreal.

[–]ThyZAD 2 points3 points ago

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"Fuck this shit, I am evolving!"

[–]3seed 2 points3 points ago

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Doesn't Danny Devito walk just like that?

[–]Baycon 12 points13 points ago

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U mad, Danny DeVito?

[–]agissilver 1 point2 points ago

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S/He said: "I mock you with my monkey pants"

[–]CiXeL 1 point2 points ago

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That looks like Monkey Jungle

[–]shoeninja 1 point2 points ago

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I just used this to quit my job...

[–]FirstTimeLongTime 1 point2 points ago

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This is King the gorilla from the Monkey Jungle in Miami. Totes recommend it if you like into wildlife, it's a small family owned place.

[–]kbuis 1 point2 points ago

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Showed it to my girlfriend on my phone: "is that a midget?"

[–]Mesquite_Skeet_Skeet 1 point2 points ago

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Dang, that's one powerful looking animal. I still would like to see a gorilla fight a bear. Mostly people say a bear would win, but seeing big ass gorillas like this makes me wonder.

For people who thinks it's fake, here's more footage. Apparently, his name is King and he's at the Miami zoo's Monkey Jungle.

[–]tobiasj 1 point2 points ago

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EWOK! FUCKING EWOK!!

[–]gingerbear 1 point2 points ago

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more like, "oh shit, gotta poo!" And then he does the butt clench walk all the way to the monkey toilet

[–]ende76 1 point2 points ago

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I don't know why, but the term 'monkey toilet' made me smirk, then giggle. [5]

[–]likwitsnake 1 point2 points ago

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individuals cannot involve.

[–]user_nts 1 point2 points ago

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Damn, I'd never realized how short a gorillas rear legs are until now.

[–]xthree 1 point2 points ago

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I'm at a [9] and I cannot tell if this is fake or not, holy crap that was awesome.

[–]A-punk 4 points5 points ago

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God dammit it Reddit. It's Friday night here and this is the 2nd most up-voted post.

You all need to go to AA.

[–]MemeWatcher 6 points7 points ago

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I considered going to AA but then I said, "no, NO!, NO-OOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"...

...and went with the RAC instead, as their recovery plans are just as good but cheaper, especially if you get a cashback deal.

[–]pedantic_man 3 points4 points ago

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God dammit it

ಠ_ಠ

[–]He11razor 1 point2 points ago

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that dude is well armed.

[–]e_vision 1 point2 points ago

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Awesome thanks for the laugh

[–]willb483 1 point2 points ago

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God did it. no doubt.

[–]SilencerLX 1 point2 points ago

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Like a fucking boss.

[–]Mikul 1 point2 points ago

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We represent the lollypop guild.

[–]tntrost 0 points1 point ago

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Oh SHit! Shakedatass ma move it like a gypsy. Stop ooh backitup ma lemme see yo hips swing!!!!

[–]es02609 0 points1 point ago

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That's what she said!

[–]uncleawesome 0 points1 point ago

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Before he went out there he told the other gorillas "watch this, I saw a video of a dude in a monkey suit walking thru the woods and the humans freaked out. This is gonna be sweet. Here I go."

[–]Goatworshipper 0 points1 point ago

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Well that's evolution for yuh..

[–]fapsmear 0 points1 point ago

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Did anyone ever read B. Kliban cartoons (the cat guy)? This reminds me of the one where there's a group of cavemen sitting around banging on rocks, and one gets up and walks away saying, "fuck this primitive shit!"

Looked forever online, can't find it.

[–]sorrenn 0 points1 point ago

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That gorilla has some mighty big guns. Damn.

[–]sorrenn 0 points1 point ago

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Google never ceases to amaze me in predicting my every move: http://imgur.com/dLlKD

Apparently, research into their strength is lacking, but they appear to be anywhere between 8 and 25 times stronger than humans.

[–]starmandeluxe 0 points1 point ago

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WHERE IS YOUR GOD NOW?

[–]steve329 0 points1 point ago

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Hold it Bob... We can see your wristwatch...

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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He almost stumbled his way into a job...

[–]hawtfabio 0 points1 point ago

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diarrhea...it happens to your predecessors too.

[–]cero 0 points1 point ago

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His stride reminded me of the Patterson-Gimlin Bigfoot footage.

Hmmm...

[–]Artifexx 0 points1 point ago

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Can someone add text to the gif? maybe something similar to this http://i.imgur.com/0uZwi.gif

[–]mrjinks 0 points1 point ago

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Noticed the size of that skull,if full of brain.. Yipes!

[–]rediphile 0 points1 point ago

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Fuck this, I'm tired of this gif.

[–]GrungyRemnant 0 points1 point ago

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I like this.

[–]reldritch 0 points1 point ago

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Did anyone else just see Danny DeVito walking away from the recent Always Sunny christmas special?

It's uncanny.

[–]MithrandirAgain 0 points1 point ago

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Like a boss!

[–]siege_tank 0 points1 point ago*

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Holy crap. Arm/chest to body ratio is insane. He could rip me in half :o

[–]rhombus2210 0 points1 point ago

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DUDE! That's my roommate's gorilla!

[–]zaggynl 0 points1 point ago

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"Hrum de dum de doo--SHIT, FORGOT TO TURN OFF THE STOVE

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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I always wondered how humans could think hunting large animals like gorillas, tigers, whales and sharks for sport. Like killing these animals with a weapon, a long range weapon nonetheless is something to be revered. Fucking makes me rage.

[–]dossier 0 points1 point ago

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I waited 4min for this crap to load on my phone? Bah

[–]MassiveFalconPunch 0 points1 point ago

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He has such disproportionate legs xD I think their lengthening should be next on evolution's monkey to do list . . .

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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walks like my grandpa used to

[–]Allizdog 0 points1 point ago

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Should have deployed his roller shoes.

[–]HighBeamHater 0 points1 point ago

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Oh shit, is that the break bell?

[–]LastStickOfDynamite 0 points1 point ago

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Best Fred Sanford impersonation I've seen.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Haters gonna keep hating.

[–]Thelonesomemoo 0 points1 point ago

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haters gonna hate.

[–]MonkeyWithKnives 0 points1 point ago

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o man i haven't laughed so hard at something on the internet for a while... that was amazing. Thanks

[–]Sloth_Lord 0 points1 point ago

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He forgot his pants at home.

[–]shamecamel 0 points1 point ago

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fuck you, gimmie a dollar.

[–]finallymadeanaccount 0 points1 point ago

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"And stay off my lawn!

Damn kids ... "

[–]GreatBigPig 0 points1 point ago

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How would /r/furry react to this?

[–]roymustang86 0 points1 point ago

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Surprising no one linked it to the video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ad7qzI03fqE

[–]Alpha-Leader 0 points1 point ago

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Lol that walk makes him look like a midget or something.

[–]AlexanderThemeek 0 points1 point ago

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Evolution... LIKE A BOSS!!!

[–]reddaemon 0 points1 point ago

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oh man i laughed so hard. Thank you for making my day!

[–]antibios 0 points1 point ago

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dink dink

dink dink dink dink dink dink

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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/r/jobs : this is how I quit my shitty job

[–]Ellemeno 0 points1 point ago

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Animals walking like humans are one of the few things that make me laugh out loud. Here's another one I find hilarious.

[–]TraderChad 0 points1 point ago

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Anyone else think he walks like a dwarf from World of Wacraft?