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top 200 commentsshow 500

[–]grapejuice 386 points387 points ago

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Soccer mom.

[–]JavaLSU 274 points275 points ago

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I love how she slowly lowers herself onto the ground.

[–]ThatsItGuysShowsOver 192 points193 points ago

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She screamed half heartedly though. Not impressive.

[–]Vulpius 114 points115 points ago

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"Call a doctor"... what? ಠ_ಠ

[–]JohnBoone 300 points301 points ago

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" Hurry up she's in so much pain, we'll have to put her down..."

[–]DeborahDowner 101 points102 points ago

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I support this suggestion.

Just sayin.

[–]KennyDeJonnef 81 points82 points ago

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Just slayin.

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points ago

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Death Panels are not a bad idea. Just sayin

[–]Powercrazy13 1 point2 points ago

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I don't want to see her in so much agony... it has to be done :(

[–]DeFex 80 points81 points ago

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I think she needs the amber lamps.

[–]aceoftrachs 2 points3 points ago

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...and some UPS.

[–]jofo 1 point2 points ago

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Might be a crackhead!

[–]dagbrown 18 points19 points ago

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The doctor could use a good laugh.

[–]bumfromthefuture 15 points16 points ago

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I've fallen and can't get up

[–]queenbrewer 5 points6 points ago

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We're sending help immediately, Mrs. Fletcher.

[–]aceoftrachs 2 points3 points ago

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I've fallen and won't get up.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]mship 10 points11 points ago

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Doctor Who?

[–]James_dude 48 points49 points ago

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I know the rules about reading youtube comments but this one was just perfect:

R2D2 is down! R2 is down!

[–]Zulban 19 points20 points ago

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Those 'rules' are snobbish and bullshit. Good comment = good comment.

[–]James_dude 2 points3 points ago

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Don't worry they're not real rules, it's just a statement on the expected quality of youtube comments. You're allowed to read them if you want.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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There are rules to reading youtube comments?

[–][deleted] 56 points57 points ago

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Yes. You simply DON'T do it.

[–]IrateGentleman 20 points21 points ago

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Is there something I can use to disable comments on youtube videos? I sometimes unintentionally scroll down and witness unspeakable horrors.

[–]Fuhbutpmsg 9 points10 points ago

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There's an extension called YouTube comment snob. It's quite useful for self discipline.

[–]arbuthnot-lane 5 points6 points ago

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I'm assuming you allready have Greasemonkey installed and enjoying Reddit Enhancement Suite.
You can get a different script called No YouNoobs, and never suffer through tube-comments again.

[–]kane2742 1 point2 points ago

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I use a Greasemonkey script that hides them by default, but lets me click a link labeled "Show hideous clusterfuck" to show the comments if I wish.

[–]DrKushnstein 10 points11 points ago

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Thumbs up if you think 12 people hit the wrong button, lulomg.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]co_bro_commander 1 point2 points ago

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she hit her that hard.

[–]IHadSexwith 2 points3 points ago

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her that hard.

[–]powercow 7 points8 points ago

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she was trying to do the wilhelm scream

[–]JavaLSU 23 points24 points ago

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I found this video with a little more video. It's hilarious!

[–]TheREALMoeSzyslak 39 points40 points ago

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I always prefer videos that feature more video.

[–][deleted] 14 points15 points ago

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MORE COWBELL.

[–]Rx_MoreCowbell 2 points3 points ago

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Oh, do you have a fever? No problem...

[–]nyxin 10 points11 points ago

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[Read in Charlie from It's always Sunny's voice]

Do you hate videos that just don't have enough video? Well this video is for you! Its got 2 TIMES more video than other videos. Waste time longer now with this video. Other videos don't give you enough video, but this video has all that and more! Impress your friends, your neighbors, your cats, your kids, your husbands, (wives will not be impressed) all with this video! Simply watch this video for more video than ever.

*Brought to you by Kitten Mittens

[–]motdidr 1 point2 points ago

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Kitton Mittons

ftfy

[–]Zhyl 1 point2 points ago

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I love the title. 'Meeting gets out of control'. Next up, a riot happens when somebody trips and nearly bumps into a passer by.

[–]greed_is_good 1 point2 points ago

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Someone should put a wilhelm scream in the video

[–]konkeydong 22 points23 points ago

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...and the award for most controlled uncontrollable fall goes to...

[–]Razz_upinthisma 11 points12 points ago

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Cristiano Ronaldo's mom??

[–]nakedjedi 3 points4 points ago

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[–]mjklin 1 point2 points ago

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...Ted Soccer?

[–]skurk 198 points199 points ago

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The Youtube video is even better.

The woman sued and the case ended in a settlement. Believe it or not.

[–]drawdelove 45 points46 points ago

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They called a doctor! LOL grown ups can be so childish!

[–]ProximaC 29 points30 points ago

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If they didn't, the woman would have sued the court for negligence or whatever else her lawyer could dream up.

[–]MyNightmare 2 points3 points ago

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Doctor. i do believe that she had a great fall. i do not believe all of the horses and men can put her back together again.

[–]captainAwesomePants 2 points3 points ago

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Allowing her to sit on a wall that would allow such a great fall is clearly gross negligence and needs to be recompensed via punitive damages, so that nobody is ever hurt by innocently wall-sitting ever again.

[–]morkskogen 51 points52 points ago

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Sadly, yes, I do believe it

[–]Virtualmatt 33 points34 points ago*

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Preface: The woman taking a dive is an idiot and the hit appeared to be mostly harmless.

You can also sue a person for spitting on you, though it doesn't result in any real physical harm. Most people I've talked to don't think this is unreasonable, as society needs to deter that sort of behavior. You aren't awarded all that much for a suit, however.

Harmless as it was (physically), this woman was struck after an apparently tense situation. Judging by the idiot's desire to jump to the ground, there was some serious hate going on between the two of them. You can't do around smacking people in the head without some sort of repercussions. If that was a friendly tap, it's a different story. This was meant as an offense.

Do I think she should be awarded any serious amount of cash? Of course not. Still, she hit the lady (at least hard enough to hear the smack on camera, though I doubt it caused much discomfort), and society provides for a deterrence.

(As someone that has went through Tort Law: Just playing devil's advocate here. Would I sue in this situation? Of course not.)

[–]iknoritesrsly 34 points35 points ago

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The real fault lies on the women and not the legal system, for their acting so childish (the both of them). Ideally, the legal system shouldn't have to babysit fully grown adults, but alas, such is the world we live in.

[–]Moridyn 12 points13 points ago

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Let's just behead them both and be done with it.

[–]yo_name_is_TOBY 1 point2 points ago

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top comment in this thread

[–]Made_You_Look 1 point2 points ago

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True. If these were my kids I'd just send them both to their room together and be done with it.

[–]mdmadph 0 points1 point ago

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That's what the legal system is. It's a minder, for fully grown adults who can't handle their problems on their own.

[–]hillkiwi 32 points33 points ago

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Just some more info:

Under the settlement, DeWitt agreed to be put in an 18-month diversion program, under which she will pay $1,500 in restitution costs, take 52 hours of anger management classes and participate in 100 hours of community service. A restraining order issued against DeWitt must be resolved in civil court with attorneys for Schaefer.

[–]skaldicpoet9 18 points19 points ago

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/facepalm

[–]gmeharder 9 points10 points ago

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/rage quits life

[–]areyouforcereal 7 points8 points ago

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There's no way being forced to take 52 hours of anger management classes after something like that would not make you into a much angrier person.

[–]bsmiles27 4 points5 points ago

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So the real winners in all of this were the lawyers. Nice.

[–]BoreasNZ 3 points4 points ago

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52 hours of anger management?

Sounds like that would have the opposite of the intended effect.

[–]matlick 9 points10 points ago

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It may not have been a very large settlement. The settlement payment could have been an apology or $100 - anything to avoid going to trial and facing the inevitable embarrassing loss. Why would the defendant agree to that and not just go to trial to win? Because trials are expensive, and so is her lawyer.

[–]almodozo 7 points8 points ago

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The settlement payment could have been an apology or $100

Upvoted you b/c this sounded reassuring, but then [another commenter posted further info]:

DeWitt agreed to be put in an 18-month diversion program, under which she will pay $1,500 in restitution costs, take 52 hours of anger management classes and participate in 100 hours of community service.

Unfriggin' believable

[–]Knowltey 7 points8 points ago

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The black woman that comes in shaking her head vigorously at 21 seconds is hilarious.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]wonkifier 42 points43 points ago

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Why is the lawyer retarded? It ended in a settlement, clearly he had some skill.

[–]heuheuheuheuh 19 points20 points ago

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Oh yes we should all have so much respect for that highly skilled lawyer.

[–][deleted] 14 points15 points ago

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Who said we should have respect for him? Clearly he was able to get her money, so he's obviously not "retarded" for taking the case. Morally suspect, sure, but all lawyers fit that category.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]syncsynchalt 5 points6 points ago

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I don't think any judge gave her money, a settlement is an agreement between the two parties not to go to court isn't it?

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

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A settlement usually is when the defendant party offers a sum of money to the party that is suing in order to benefit both parties. The plaintiff may not get as much as they were going for, but the defendant might not have the strongest case.

[–]wonkifier 2 points3 points ago

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Or the defendant may be basically extorted:

You know you might win, but it's going to cost you $100k and there's no guarantee. Give me $10k now, and we'll just call it done.

[–]bobdolebobdole 2 points3 points ago

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A judge did not give her money. Settlements occur by negotiation between the plaintiff and defendant. Defense attorney took the case because he is paid hourly. Even if it's a loser case, you tell the defendant you'll work on a settlement for her and try to keep costs down.

[–]HannibalOfCarthage 3 points4 points ago

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Mayor: Wait..oh..what..ut..ut..u..u..hit her right in the f.. eye. hit her right in the eye.

[–]theCroc 16 points17 points ago

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Little know fact: Old ladies have eyes in the back of their heads.

[–]HeroicGomez 7 points8 points ago

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Well, the two-faced ones, anyway.

[–]11oops 9 points10 points ago

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That mayor is a fucking idiot too. "She hit her right in the eye.... stop her, she needs to be arrested."

Sorry mayor, but a) there's no eyes in the back of your head, and b)you're not in the authority to press charges or tell the cops what to do. He can have someone call the cops and they'll make the decision to arrest or not. Fucking politicians on their power trips.

[–]doogleduck 59 points60 points ago

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Love the R2D2 scream.

[–]manifes7o 32 points33 points ago

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1) Read top rated Youtube comment. 2) Repost as own thoughts on Reddit. 3) Roll around in the Upvotes. 4) ??? 5) Profit!

[–]Reductive 43 points44 points ago

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Amazing. A comment obliquely criticizing the parent for unoriginality. Yet it uses the tired old "1,2,???,profit" format and presents the same lame critique that can be found in every thread on Reddit. (OMG someone has a karma for writing a thing that other people like!)

You are your own worst enemy.

[–]NoNameReq 1 point2 points ago

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dammit. i reconsidered my up/downvotes so many times.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points ago

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I don't read youtube comments so I personally don't mind. I'm sorry it bothers you.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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I guess the lesson here is if you're going to hit someone, make it count

[–]dirtymoney 1 point2 points ago

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well, technically it IS battery. Cops have charged people for doing less

[–]reddit-mandingo 211 points212 points ago

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Minor penalty to old fat lady number 2: two minutes for unsportsman-like conduct, diving.

[–]sinurgy 22 points23 points ago

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HOCKEY...he's making a HOCKEY reference people...jesus!

[–]admiralwaffles 4 points5 points ago

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Hockey: Where diving's a penalty, but the fans and players don't think it gets called often enough.

[–]Echospree 1 point2 points ago

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And half the time when it does get called, I always seem to think that it wasn't diving.

[–]Prince_Inglip 2 points3 points ago

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Example one: Sidney "Cry Baby" Crosby. I about shot my TV during the DET vs PITT playoffs.

[–]QnA 26 points27 points ago*

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And that my friends, is just another instance of why NFL > European Football.

You fake an injury in the NFL, you're taken out of the game. Believed to be injury prone, your value drops because teams don't want you. You're expected to "MAN UP". In 'soccer', the best fakers are prized. Entire teams are taught how to fake an injury and how to dive.

Sorry, when a sport has to enforce rules about "faking", that sport is removed from the unwritten bible of "Real men sports".

"blah blah soccer is more energetic than NFL football, NFL only has such and such minutes of real play time..." -- I could argue the same about waterpolo. In fact, using the same arguments and logic soccer fans use, I could use to argue waterpolo is a tougher sport. And win.

I will state it loudly: Waterpolo > Soccer

Edit:

30+ comments and many dowvotes later, not a single comment addressing that waterpolo is more strenuous than soccer.

[–]sinfield 28 points29 points ago

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| "Any simulating action anywhere on the field, which is intended to deceive the referee, must be sanctioned as unsporting behaviour" which is misconduct punishable by a yellow card."

I don't like how often it happens. Neither do FIFA or fans. So it is being booked more frequently now. It is silly to look at one abused rule and make a blanket statement about the quality of the sport based on that narrow assessment.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points ago

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American NFL fans just watched the World Cup last year, and so are unusually (for us) aware of how soccer games go. We know that this junk isn't being called with any regularity at all. It's a total fluke to see a call for diving.

[–]lithe 7 points8 points ago

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I was a soccer referee for a fairly high level of play and I made a point of carding for dives. Man it felt good to walk up clearly drawing the card and to surprise the guy on the ground by showing it to him.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

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I bet he looked up and was like "This man now knows i am a pussy and is calling me out on it" Cheers mate!

[–]lithe 4 points5 points ago*

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Yup. Every time I can remember they were as indignant as one might expect. I was never swayed one iota because these were cards reserved for the most blatant infractions.

I also had one such player's coach come up to me and say he would have made the same call. Ah, vindication.

[–]sinfield 1 point2 points ago

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Yeah, I'd like to see it booked more too. Progress is being made.

[–]lasagna_chef 107 points108 points ago

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I like chocolate. You like vanilla. I really don't care what kind of ice cream you eat as long as I can enjoy mine in peace.

[–]jmaxwell19 36 points37 points ago*

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jmaxwell19: Okay, let's say that you're defending chocolate and I'm defending vanilla. Now, if I were to say to you, "Vanilla's the best flavor ice cream", you'd say …?

lasagna_chef: "No, chocolate is."

jmaxwell19: Exactly. But you can't win that argument. So, I'll ask you: So you think chocolate is the end-all and be-all of ice cream, do you?

lasagna_chef: It's the best ice cream; I wouldn't order any other.

jmaxwell19: Oh. So it's all chocolate for you, is it?

lasagna_chef: Yes, chocolate is all I need.

jmaxwell19: Well, I need more than chocolate. And for that matter, I need more than vanilla. I believe that we need freedom and choice when it comes to our ice cream, and that, lasagna_chef, that is the definition of liberty.

lasagna_chef: But that's not what we're talking about.

jmaxwell19: Ah, but that's what I'm talking about.

lasagna_chef: But … you didn't prove that vanilla's the best.

jmaxwell19: I didn't have to. I proved that you're wrong, and if you're wrong, I'm right.

lasagna_chef: But you still didn't convince me.

jmaxwell19: Because I'm not after you. I'm after them.

[–]foldor 22 points23 points ago

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This message brought to you by "Thank you for Smoking"

[–]QnA 12 points13 points ago

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You're pitting the vanilla and chocolates against one another while supporting the lasagna third party. I like your style.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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I was reading a rant about football and now for some reason I want some ice cream. Well done.

[–]elzeardclym 6 points7 points ago

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What's this have to do with football? How would a 2 minute penalty be assessed in the NFL? It's a hockey reference.

[–]lithe 7 points8 points ago*

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You think a QB or punter has never faked a penalty for a late hit or unnecessary roughness?

[–]drrevevans 32 points33 points ago

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Sometimes rehashing these same old worn out arguments is worse then the fact that the gif has been re-posted many times over.

[–]tadhgmac 1 point2 points ago

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Exactly, it's been reposted so much it's turning fuzzy.

[–]osfn8 9 points10 points ago

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There was an NFL Films episode on ESPN recently about players taking dives. It is different than faking injuries, but players do act to try to get a penalty called just like in basketball. There was a lot of funny dialogue between players after plays.

[–]FrankManic 2 points3 points ago

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Neither NFL nor Soccer are "Real Man Sports".

Buzkashi is a Real Man Sport

Bear Wrestling is a Real Man Sport

Recreational Dueling is a Real Man Sport

[–]rage103 6 points7 points ago

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Bullshit. NFLers pride themselves on being able to draw penalties through acting, it's the same in all pro sports. If you're not cheating, you're not trying hard enough.

[–]shutyourgob[!] 8 points9 points ago

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If you're interested in "real men sports" I'd advise you to watch rugby. It's similar to your NFL except they don't let the mascots play.

Kit + gumshield > Laughably overprotective fatsuits

[–][deleted] 23 points24 points ago*

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I'm a big fan of both versions of football and as such I don't have a dog in the fight. But just to make sure you're being consistent...

Sorry, when a sport has to enforce rules about "faking", that sport is removed from the unwritten bible of "Real men sports".

Let's examine American football, shall we?

You fake an injury in the NFL, you're taken out of the game.

This is an enforced rule regarding injuries, fake or real. By your own logic, we can see that American football is not, in fact, a real man's game.

[–]eonOne 12 points13 points ago

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But he's not saying you get taken out of the game for faking an injury. You get taken out of the game because your coach believes you actually do have an injury and need to get it looked at.

At least, that's how I read it.

[–]bobdolebobdole 6 points7 points ago

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You get taken out of the game because you're not allowed to remain on the field if a trainer is called to examine you. You must sit at the very least one down.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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And the penalties are harsher when the play occurs under two minutes. From the NFL Rulebook:

A team cannot buy an excess time out for a penalty. However, a fourth time out is allowed without penalty for an injured player, who must be removed immediately. A fifth time out or more is allowed for an injury and a five-yard penalty is assessed if the clock was running. Additionally, if the clock was running and the score is tied or the team in possession is losing, the ball cannot be put in play for at least 10 seconds on the fourth or more time out. The half or game can end while those 10 seconds are run off on the clock.

[–]Moridyn 1 point2 points ago

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Penalty: pedantry, 2 days without arguing about sports

[–]TheDrBrian 12 points13 points ago

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I like the idea of the telling people to man up while wearing body armour to play football.

[–]GarMc 2 points3 points ago

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He made a Hockey reference you dumbass, not football.

[–]gumbotime 2 points3 points ago

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You fake an injury in the NFL, you're taken out of the game. Believed to be injury prone, your value drops because teams don't want you. You're expected to "MAN UP". In 'soccer', the best fakers are prized. Entire teams are taught how to fake an injury and how to dive.

Or, in soccer, the truly injured player just has to keep playing for the rest of the game because the team is out of substitutions. Try to stop the bleeding, maybe a few stitches, and get them back on the field.

[–]racerz 2 points3 points ago

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[–]anyletter 7 points8 points ago

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The NFL is a brilliant way to deliver the most advertisements for the least amount of content.

[–]cantCme 4 points5 points ago

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I can't say this for every downvoter (now 39), but I downvoted you not because I disagree. But because I hate this discussion. Because it is a non issue. Just look at the reply made by lasagna_chef.

Now if we were talking about how you call your sissy rugby, football and the real football, soccer. I'd probably downvote you because I disagree ;).

[–]TheU305 1 point2 points ago

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People take dives in almost every sport. Basketball: when someone gets fouled. Baseball: getting hit by a ball. It's a skill.

Edit: Even in football: pass interference calls.

[–]smew 1 point2 points ago

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I downvoted you because you came from out of the blue with an irrelevant rant about sports.

[–]Galuda 1 point2 points ago

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"Better to keep your mouth closed and be thought a fool than to open it and remove all doubt"

  • Michael Scott

Your argument just intimates your lack of knowledge of and lack of experience playing soccer.

Entire teams are taught how to fake an injury and how to dive.

Firstly, this is bull shit. Soccer fans do not enjoy people who flop and flopping can result in a yellow card. 2 yellows in a game and you are ejected, in league play you can sometimes miss multiple matches after the current game.

Secondly, unless you've actually played the sport you have no fucking idea what a flop is. Try running at full sprint and have someone slide in from behind on you and smash your legs out from under you. A small collision from a zoomed out camera sometimes looks like a flop, but many times they got hit... hard.

I've seen shins break through shin guards first hand. I've also seen broken legs, hairline fractures, hundreds of sprains, concussions, full on brawls between teams and this is just in rec and high school leagues.

This is not to say that soccer is a harder hitting sport than football, I personally enjoy both for different reasons, and football definitely has bigger and more frequent impacts.

But if you think soccer isn't a man's sport, try playing it at a competitive level and see how hard it really is. Actually don't, because you'll just trip over yourself or get injured because soccer actually requires skills that need to be developed from a very young age.

Soccer also requires a completely different type of conditioning than football. A person in football shape would keel over after 10 minutes of a competitive soccer match, which is 90 minutes straight of jog, run, sprint, jog, run sprint. Conversely, a soccer player could only really play receiver or corner back because they don't have the mass of any interior football player.

Waterpolo has got to be one of the most strenuous sports you can possibly play, so that's a retarded comparison. It requires full body strength and conditioning. A waterpolo player would probably get tired in a soccer match from all the running, just like a soccer player would get tired trying to fucking swim around.

[–]ibanezninja 1 point2 points ago

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fuck yeah nfl

[–]lastobelus 1 point2 points ago

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yeah, well the sport I like is way fucking better than the sport you like. Jesus. Go back to AOL.

[–]canad93 1 point2 points ago

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And that my friends, is just another instance of why NFL > European Football. You fake an injury in the NFL, you're taken out of the game.

Sorry, when a sport has to enforce rules about "faking", that sport is removed from the unwritten bible of "Real men sports".

Derrrrrrrrrrp.

[–]Zestyness 26 points27 points ago

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I've actually had something similar to this happen to me. I was playing minigolf and I hit the golf ball a little too hard, it went up a hill and launched, hit this old lady right underneath the eye. Normally I'd feel really really bad about this, but she was standing there kind of surprised, looked down, saw the golf ball, looked back up and around till she saw me, starred for a few seconds, then fell to the ground crying. Stupid bitch. Told me I ruined her Christmas pictures she was taking later that day. Can you believe that crap?

[–][deleted] 21 points22 points ago

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Same here! I was walking down the street, minding my own business, picking up rocks and throwing them down the street in front of me for mild amusement. I find this really nice round rock, a real beauty, throw it as hard as I could at a tree, and some lady comes out of her walkway behind some bushes and BAM! The thing smacks her straight in the temple and knocks her out cold. She's flat out on the ground, unconcious for a minute or so, until she finally comes too, and...can you believe it...she starts crying! I was like, "Lady, you've been quiet, laying there for a solid minute AT LEAST without making a sound and NOW you cry?! What a phony!"

Unbelievable.

[–]RyVal 8 points9 points ago

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did she cry before or after the sex?

[–][deleted] 13 points14 points ago

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Yes

[–]stilesjp 25 points26 points ago

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Context?

[–]snowyday 62 points63 points ago

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A courtroom inhabited by angry old fat women and their security guard.

[–]eshemuta 42 points43 points ago

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That was on Reddit a year or two ago. Apparently a city council meeting where the smacker was charged with assault and the smackee claimed head injuries etc.

[–]snowyday 5 points6 points ago

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Thanks. I knew it was something like that but I was too lazy to go figure it out. So I substituted sarcasm for real work. Figured reddit would be cool with that.

[–]purplehayes 24 points25 points ago

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[–][deleted] 5 points6 points ago

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There's a youtube video but it's boring. The lady was who hit the woman was advocating that the mayor be forced out of office and then was asked to leave after making her proposal, and got pissed as she was walking away and hit the old woman for no reason. Old lady over-reacted.

Apparently the woman who hit her was arrested too.

[–]LollyAdverb 8 points9 points ago

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French soccer player.

[–]Fistanditilus 10 points11 points ago

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Italian*

[–]harumpf 3 points4 points ago

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As a soccer fan I can tell it happens everywhere. But the Germans invented it. That's why it's called a schwalbe.

[–]Germerican 21 points22 points ago

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Call the wambuwance!!!

[–]anton_jerkoff 2 points3 points ago

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Did you mean amber lamps?

[–]TWI2T3D 16 points17 points ago

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It's a good job she didn't hit her any harder. She'd have taken her head right off!

[–][deleted] 12 points13 points ago

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Struck her in the eye? Where was he watching from, two buildings away?

[–]phoephus2 29 points30 points ago

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Should be in r/classicinternets. I don't know why that's not a bigger subreddit, but I will do everything in my power to change it.

[–]aphlipp 22 points23 points ago

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Try r/internetclassics

Still not very large. I'm sure your power would be appreciated there.

[–]phoephus2 4 points5 points ago

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The moderator at r/classicinternets, (who just made me a moderator) and I were just discussing discontinuing his subreddit and offering our services at r/internetclassics.

Although I really like the name classic internets better.

[–]McVader 5 points6 points ago

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Everytime I see that gif or that video I start laughing. Halfway through my chuckle I slowly remember that enough of the general populace voted that person into office. A little longer and I realize that person has the ability to create public policy and shape people's lives for better or worse. I see her fall to the ground, scream in 'agony' and I realize that somewhere along the line, we fucked up. Bad.

I think it was around the first time I came to this realization that I started doing drugs.

[–]Theres_A_FAP_4_That 10 points11 points ago

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OHH the humanity...

[–]texacer 13 points14 points ago

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THERES A FIRE...sale

[–]RonaldFuckingPaul 6 points7 points ago

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Most children never really mature, they just get big and old.

[–]RapeUpThere 5 points6 points ago

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That woman who falls to the floor is an attention seeking piece of shit. I can just imagine what she will be like at home. I bet she's a nightmare! Nag, nag, nag. She will milk any situation to breaking point. I think she is either what I described, or she is trying to get the other woman into trouble, which is a low tactic and still makes me dislike her immensely. I don't like drama queens!

[–]Theropissed 9 points10 points ago

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The bailiff is all 'w-WTF?'

[–]macattack01 15 points16 points ago

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Man that looked like it HURT!

[–]televised_aphid 62 points63 points ago*

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Only in America Everywhere in the world would somebody get hit in the back of the head with a piece of paper and immediately think "I can sue for this."

And really only in America on Earth would that suit proceed and be settled. Wow.

Edit: Ok, so maybe not just in the U.S.?

[–]zorno 56 points57 points ago

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There was a thread about this the other day, some guy posted about 10 links where stupid shit like this happened in other countries. It's not only america.

Plus, many famous cases like this were exaggerated, like the woman who sued McDonalds for spilling coffee on herself.

[–]McDLT 46 points47 points ago

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After reading the actual details of how McDonalds broke the law and how shitty they treated the woman it made me wish she got more money from those assholes.

[–]crazy_dance 18 points19 points ago

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In my undergrad Business Law class we watched a documentary/news report about the McDonald's coffee case and a few other "frivolous" law suits that turned out not to be so frivolous. Sure, those law suits do exist I'm sure but they aren't really as common as people believe. Lawyers won't take genuinely frivolous cases because they will get sanctioned.

[–]danxmason 6 points7 points ago

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Could you explain to us in the dark how the case is not so frivolous?

[–]SirVanderhoot 45 points46 points ago

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It's been a while since I've read up on it, but I'll see what I can remember (edit: /look up on wikipedia

  1. The coffee was incredibly hot. As in, much, much hotter than you would ever need it to be when you make coffee. She suffered 3rd degree burns to her crotch. She spent 8 days in the hospital, losing 20 lbs (down to 83 lbs) and had to get skin grafts on her lap.

  2. She asked for $20,000, just slightly over her past and expected medical expenses and expected lost time at work compensation. Seems fair, right? McDonalds offered $800. Some back and forth with lawers, and a mediator suggests $225,000, which McDonalds does not agree to.

  3. They go to trial. The coffee was far hotter than it was supposed to, and constituted a pretty clear burn hazard by several tens of degrees.

I thought I remembered reading about the lid on the coffee not being secured properly, but wiki doesn't have anything on it. I may be mis-remembering.

[–]crazy_dance 20 points21 points ago

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Regarding the temp of the coffee, IIRC, the coffee she was served was hotter than not only McDonald's policy permits but I think it violated some health code or similar policy. And I believe there were internal memos discovered that showed the McD's corporate knew that restaurants were serving coffee that was too hot but wasn't doing anything about it.

Edit: I just read the wiki link and it clarifies the temperature stuff I was thinking about. It's been several years since I watched that report so I don't think I was correctly remembering some of the little details.

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points ago

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So THIS is why they started the iced coffee fad!

[–]jgage 2 points3 points ago

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I remember back in the late '70s my mom would always order a cup of ice with with her McDonald's coffee and then proceed to pour the coffee into the ice cup.

[–]noobprodigy 14 points15 points ago

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McDonalds did a cost/benefit analysis in regards to the coffee temperature. The coffee brews more quickly at this extremely high temperature, meaning that they can serve more coffee in a day than at a lower temperature. The temperature at which they served the coffee was too hot for human consumption, and they knew that if someone spilled it on themselves, it would result in severe burns. However, the benefit of the additional sales of coffee outweigh the potential law suit resulting from the first person to burn themselves with it.

Also, she got 3rd degree burns on her stomach and crotch. Clearly too hot.

[–]ch00f 1 point2 points ago

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I also remember something about how they figured that drive-through customers wouldn't consume the coffee immediately, thus taking into account the cooling the coffee would undergo.

[–]Semiel 11 points12 points ago

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Also, this was far from the first case where this happened. Several other people had been injured for the same reasons, but McDonalds wasn't interested in lowering the temperature until they had to pay lots of money for it.

[–]bobdolebobdole 1 point2 points ago

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The magic of punitive damages.

[–]Le3f 3 points4 points ago

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[...] much hotter than you would ever need it to be when you make coffee.

They were being cheap bastards and trying to extract more flavour out of less beans with this method.

[–]McDLT 1 point2 points ago

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The reason for keeping the coffee dangerously hot was because they found that it would stay flavorful longer thus saving them the expense of always making fresh coffee. It was many degrees hotter than what was legal to serve people but they just paid the fines since that was less expensive.

[–]TheSnop 5 points6 points ago

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We studied that case for a long time in my first law class and from what I remember (Which might be complete bullshit so don't quote me at parties), McDonald's felt they needed to make an example of her because of the lawyer that was pressuring her into fighting them. Her lawyer had been aggressively suing McDonald's for everything, as one of those anti-fastfood lawyers that wanted to bring them down. After years of being followed by him, and him convincing this lady to sue, and going on TV to embarrass them they finally felt they needed to fight back to make him go away or else they'd just keep settling over and over with him to shut him up.

That's why it seems like they were overly aggressive against this "poor lady that burned herself" when really they were fighting her lawyer, not her.

They showed in court that the coffee was hotter than most restaurants because their "coffee experts" in Costa Rica or some shit confirmed that the beans tasted better at higher temperatures, and that because most people would be driving with the coffee it would stay warmer longer (though that was proven to be bullshit, too).

But again, this was like 7 years ago we went over this, and it was an online class so I was only half paying attention.

[–]dstew74 1 point2 points ago

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McDonalds was keeping their coffee at 160 - 180 degrees F, intentionality, to limit the amount people would drink while in the store. They deserved that one.

[–]Cyc68 5 points6 points ago*

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Trust me it's not just the US. I know a taxi driver who is being sued because a woman slipped on ice after getting out of his cab. Apparently because he waited to make sure she got in to her house OK, this was late at night, it's his fault she fell. This happened in Ireland.

Edit: typo, clarity

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points ago

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Finish her!****

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

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What you didn't know is that was a POP-UP BOOK ABOUT KNIVES.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

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Drama queen!

[–]tehhunter 2 points3 points ago

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Help! I've fallen and I can't get up!

[–]Damiend 2 points3 points ago

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Still as funny as the first time I've seen it!!

[–]alternate_ending 2 points3 points ago

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lol @ youtube comment:

even pro wrestleing thought that was fake

[–]sgibson12 2 points3 points ago

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[–]perb123 5 points6 points ago

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Instant lawsuit.

[–]Black_Apalachi 1 point2 points ago

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That is Berbatov straight out of the top drawer!

[–]mrMetroSexy 1 point2 points ago

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Quick now kick her while she's down.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Reminds me of this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DZviLX37sMY

The goalkeeper got stretchered off the pitch due to the "injury." Not long afterwards he was given a 2 match ban because of it. Fuck yeah.

[–]urine_luck 1 point2 points ago

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story ?

[–]UnfortunatelyMacabre 1 point2 points ago

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This is the same delayed reaction I get when I snipe someone in Battlefield 2

[–]nonyadambiznez 1 point2 points ago

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Falling.....like a boss....

[–]coldacid 1 point2 points ago

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Be polite. Be efficient. Have a plan to kill everyone you meet.

[–]sourcerer24 1 point2 points ago

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Christiano Ronaldo?

[–]dustinin 1 point2 points ago

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she must be playing on hardcore mode

[–]spike312 1 point2 points ago

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Belongs on /r/delayedreaction.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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How many people did that bitch sue?

[–]imfromtheinternets 1 point2 points ago

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[–]jamespetersen 1 point2 points ago

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I like how she took the time to brace herself with her arm so she could roll over as she fell. I mean obviously that lady shouldn't have hit her, but it's obvious both these women are cunts.

[–]apextek 1 point2 points ago

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ahhh my neck... my back... my neck and my back... but we can settle out of court right now for 40 dollars...

[–]whoah 1 point2 points ago

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oh look, an italian soccer player!

[–]getliT 1 point2 points ago

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She's like the french in soccer...

[–]victorapplesmash 1 point2 points ago

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I'd like to kick the shit out of that lady.

[–]dirtymoney 1 point2 points ago

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BATTERY!!!!!!

.... let the frivolous lawsuit commence!!!!

[–]ReddiThor 1 point2 points ago

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...and the Best Actress award goes to...

[–]anonymoustroll 4 points5 points ago

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That would be "Best Worst Actress"...