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top 200 commentsshow 500

[–]dfield 329 points330 points ago

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I love the guy with the noise canceling headphones...someone planned ahead

[–]benjgvps 200 points201 points ago

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The headphones, THEY DO NOTHING!

[–]Jinkley 81 points82 points ago

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Ze headphones, ZEY DO NOTHING!

FTFY

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]IvanTheTolerable 15 points16 points ago

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NUSSING

FTFY

[–]indite 11 points12 points ago

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Instant German! Just add Z!

[–]theswedishshaft 23 points24 points ago

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And remove "Th", otherwise it just looks silly.

[–]Spatulamarama 56 points57 points ago

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I have those same headphones, they are not noise canceling headphones.

[–]LOOKITSADAM 23 points24 points ago

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they are very comfy though. and if you crank it up, they block out anything.

[–]sheerheartattack 36 points37 points ago

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I would strongly advise against doing so, especially at a concert.

Honestly, I would advise against going to concerts in general if they weren't awesome.

[–]Co-finder 31 points32 points ago

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earplugs ftw

[–]SLiPSTR34M 10 points11 points ago

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westone es49s. Custom fit, flat eq so you can still hear everything, just quiter. I have them because i'm a musician and sound engineer but they're awesome at concerts.

[–]DuckDuckShrimp 4 points5 points ago

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They were the first thing I noticed. I had a pair too, but the model I had had an awful connection jack, really flimsy, so it came apart. Tried repairing it but they use this stupid fibrous cable that doesn't solder easily. They sounded pretty good though

[–]Arkenklo 2 points3 points ago

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He's also wearing them backwards...

[–]Duramax159 20 points21 points ago

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Yeah, that poor father is getting obliterated by the merciless screams of pre-teens while this guy is just chillin' in his own personal sanctuary.

[–]Sped21 7 points8 points ago

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clearly, he hates himself for being there, but he's getting paid so he's fighting through it

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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Only if he's wearing IEMs underneath them.

Otherwise, they're not going to do much at all.

[–]AzMoo 9 points10 points ago

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Improvised Explosive Muffs?

[–]Manhair 561 points562 points ago

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And I bet the screaming girls sound horrible too

[–]Darc_vexiS 158 points159 points ago

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YEAH ALL AT ONCE...sheesh. It would be like a group of chicks laughing all together at the same time in a room with poor acoustics God I can't stand that either.

[–]lugete 105 points106 points ago

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I would rather listen to a group of screaming girls than Justin Beiber

[–]DiamondShreddy 1148 points1149 points ago*

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You don't understand the implications of what you are saying.

Trust me, you wouldn't want to hear them. I went to Summer Rush (a Toronto radio stations music festival) in '09, it featured Bass Hunter and The Real McCoys along with Justin Bieber. I got there very early to be near the front row.

The average person cannot comprehend the sheer volume and pitch at which little girls scream. You have seen people cringe when young girls throw tantrums and yell ... Can you imagine this on a scale of thousands? of 10,000? I would far rather suffer through 40 minutes of highly-produced but god awful and generic pop music than 10,000 screaming banshees in heat. It's almost sick what i had to go through, i was 19 at the time and i was with 5 friends all male at the same age. Some were in the army, others in trades we are bar-going folk who fight often; but we were all crippled by girls under the age of 12.

I felt as powerful as a russian solider in a human wave armed with nothing but the bullets for someone elses gun, as though i were in a foxhole somewhere near vichy during world war I and there were pockets of mustard gas, mines and sniper fire across a dead-man zone i needed to escape else face severe disability or death. Literally the epic volume of their screams were causing me to become dizzy, i fell from the chair i was standing on because i became queasy from it.

It was not as though this was a 30 second ordeal when he came out, or when a popular song started, it was constant. It was unimaginable to understand how these girls found the strength in their undeveloped lungs to sustain those chords for so long. The MCs on stage would come and tease them with phrases like, "and coming soon we're going to have J--" and just the pronunciation of the first letter of his name "J" would have them as riled up as Yellowstone Buffalo in heat with bull horns taped over their mouths.

It was sickening, it made me feel awful and i could not handle it. Between every act the MCs would tease them with this half pronunciation and whether or not he was coming out as the next act the mere thought of hearing his name through a speaker system could ignite the most heartfelt screams in these girls.

A favorite act of ours was coming out after the 25 minutes Bieber set and none of us could stay in the venue (oh yeah, this was outdoors too). Between the 6 of us there was 1400 pounds of man meat and enough body hair to make a shaved grizzly bear sweat buckets in the arctic winter. But we couldn't handle it, a friend of mine went for an ear examination a few days later and had temporarily lost significant hearing. One friend of mine vomited. Yes, he vomited. Our escape even had to be planned, we yelled for security guards to escort us out with the claims that, "our friend was violently ill and his life was in danger if he wasn't evacuated". We sank to lying to get out of there, 3 security guards swarmed in after chatting on the radio and couldn't reach us only the 1 was still there. I saw guards try to get past the girls, and the girls were attacking the uniformed men because they were blocking their view of Justin Bieber. security guards were being attacked. I saw these guys starts pushing these girls over into screaming piles of children because they thought we were in an emergency, the 6 of us couldn't get out (mostly because we thought that pushing little girls would get us in trouble; and oh yeah between us and the exit was 10,000 lunatics who screamed far more frighteningly than Braveheart and less coherently than Glenn Beck after drinking a bathtub of moonshine and tobasco sauce). We were wrong, these guards starting going ape SHIT. Forearms braced and plowing down children to "save" my friend. I don't hold it against them, they had NO other options. We were dazed and confused, most of of couldn't close our jaws, we had the same looks on our faces as victims of a recent shellshock, adrenaline was pumping and we we using our human instincts to evacuate. We were all crouched over like we were barrelling through trenches as Stukas lighted up our lines. We would look at eachother with looks of desperation but one motive was always understood, "you and me, we are getting the fuck out of here right now" What's even more shocking, is that we weren't the only ones trying to evacuate. There must have been 40 or 50 people over 20 years old that followed the trail we plowed through the little girls to get the fuck out of there. Little girls listening to Justin Bieber live lose their likeness to anything human, they are less responsive than the dead and more belligerent than drunken scots after the Celtics lose a home game. We were dealing with monsters.

Sir, you are very very wrong in your assertion that screaming girls are more tolerable than Justin Bieber. I beg of you that if ever you face the unlikely choice which you just proposed to know the answer too, you reconsider.

edit: open up the comments below... there's golden tickets in there.

[–]kat_fud 248 points249 points ago

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This is why the Beatles quit touring. They couldn't hear themselves play, and neither could anybody else.

[–][deleted] 72 points73 points ago

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truth. I was one of the advocates of tearing my hair out for 'George', whilst screaming at the top of my lungs as I beat my chest in adoration. I hope, when I pass away, this particular event does not show up in my 'life review...'

[–]antarcticgecko 13 points14 points ago

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I saw Paul McCartney in 2002 and one of your ilk was sitting behind me. OH MY GOD I'VE WAITED FIFTY YEARS FOR THIS AHHHHHHHH

[–]EnragedByAquaFresh 19 points20 points ago

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That was probably my mom. I bought her tickets for her birthday. My apologies.

[–]dylanevl 24 points25 points ago

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I'd want that on my life reel. You were a part of something that could never happen again.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]dylanevl 24 points25 points ago

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If the Beatles debuted today, they'd certainly have a following and be loved by the critics but there's no way to cause such a worldwide craze again. Due to technology, everyone is a lot more peculiar about what music they like which is great but doesn't lend itself to making the traditional superstars.

[–]DiamondShreddy 9 points10 points ago

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I think if someone successfully cloned an entire 60s rock band and they were able to produce music and play their instruments as effectively as before ... there would be some worldwide crazy.

I think.

[–]peanutsfan1995 21 points22 points ago

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You went to a Beatles concert?!?! Good fuck! bows before you

[–][deleted] 26 points27 points ago*

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no. I would have sold a kidney for that back then, but no. I was just one of the many moronic little twidderpated globules of hormonal waste that screamed incessantly whenever the 'beatles' were mentioned. I spent my days posting their pictures on my walls, holding 'Beatle fan clubs' in my town,and hosting pajama parties where we sat holding candles in front of a black and white television whenever they came on. I did see Three Dog Night and Joan Baez back in the 60s, in concert, saw the Beachboys in 61. getting into a Beatles concert back then would have been pretty much impossible cept for kids whose parents could swing it.

[–]EnragedByAquaFresh 16 points17 points ago

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Wait wait wait - you acted like this without even being at a concert? Why oh why did I already promise my wife I will take our daughter to a concert given by whoever the teen idol du jour is in 2020? I've got 10 years to weasel out of it; better get started now.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

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yes. we all did. sigh. I wish you luck in your escape plan.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]peewinkle 57 points58 points ago

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The Rolling Stones would often play the "Popeye The Sailor Man" on their early tours as a joke because no one could hear them anyways.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]Disgod 49 points50 points ago

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All I could think of was Apocalypse Now. A mindbending journey into the depths of insanity. If they filmed his experience they would probably would use a sound track out of a Vietnam movie.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]Applesaucery 71 points72 points ago

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As a former 12-year-old girl who has not screamed since toddlerhood (and was at that time corrected), I would like to simply send out a tentative "hello?" to other females who don't feel an impulse to brainlessly scream their faces off whenever they, say, hear music they like. As my mother used to tell me, screaming is acceptable if your life is threatened. Otherwise, NOT.

P.S. Not that I like Justin Bieber. shudder

[–]LuxNocte 37 points38 points ago

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I suspect that there is a high correlation between 12 year old girls who do not feel the need to scream for no particular reason and 12 year old girls who do not like Justin Bieber.

[–]Beldam 7 points8 points ago

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Hello! My mother raised me the same. I have never screamed like that for any reason. If I were a 12 year old girl today, I wouldn't be into Beiber, nor would I be a screaming maniacal fangirl for anyone else.

[–]neelieflower 4 points5 points ago

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Hello.

[–]Valkyrie44 4 points5 points ago

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Hello! No screaming for me. Also, no manic music fanhood either. We likes it quiet, preciousss.

[–][deleted] 44 points45 points ago

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screaming adolescent girls, which I was a part of, back when the Beatles came to the USA, are a historical phenomenon ..I am ashamed of my behaviour back then, and offer a mea culpa for my hormonally challenged former 12 yr old idiotic self.

[–]Frenemies 38 points39 points ago

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I'd like to state the obviousness of Beatles do not = Justin Bieber.

Hell, I'm a 21 year old male and my panties get all twisted up listening to the fab four.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points ago

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they improved with age. :) I doubt Bieber will.

[–]Disgod 23 points24 points ago

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I dont mean to alarm you, but don't some concerts in large cities occur in arenas and have attendance much higher than 10,000? That is amazingly scary.

[–]InAFewWords 3 points4 points ago

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I can't even stand a girl talking on the phone near me if her voice registers at too high of a frequency. Loud and shrieky.

[–]BoonTobias 13 points14 points ago

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ID3 tagged soldiers carrying id3 tagged weapons

[–]fngkestrel 50 points51 points ago

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Where's SIDT? This comment needs to be illustrated.

[–]phobos2deimos 50 points51 points ago

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He's been working on the drawing for the last three days.
It will be his masterpiece.

[–]phobos2deimos 22 points23 points ago

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Where'd he get a time machine?

[–]El_Ciervo 54 points55 points ago

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It was his reward for the submission of his masterpiece. Paradox

[–]memearchivingbot 7 points8 points ago

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This is properly called a causal loop. They are incredibly common. In fact if it wasn't for causal loops the entire universe would never have come to be in the first place. It's blindingly obvious man!

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

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He drew it. He's that good.

[–]natalee_t 4 points5 points ago

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I think in this case Sure_I'll_Animate_That is necessary. Hell even, Sure_I'll_make_a_movie_out_of_that would have trouble illustrating the experience.

[–]ssnseawolf 78 points79 points ago

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So you liked it then?

[–]DiamondShreddy 114 points115 points ago

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yeah, fucking awesome. total win

[–][deleted] 107 points108 points ago

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and the girls were attacking the uniformed men because they were blocking their view of Justin Bieber. security guards were being attacked.

What the fuckity fuck!

[–][deleted] 46 points47 points ago

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they are dangerous creatures. I know. mass hysteria, mob mentality. swarming like maggots on a carcass. been there, done that. i should have been arrested in 1963.

[–]smpx 48 points49 points ago

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This is what I envision zombie apocalypses to be like. 10,000 pre-teen girls at a Justin Beiber concert.

[–][deleted] 31 points32 points ago

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Except you can shoot them and no one will judge you.

[–]diuge 49 points50 points ago*

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I'm always worried that if I survive the zombie apocalypse long enough to get my mass murder on, the next time I get to a working radio, I'll turn it on to listen to the news.

"Attention everyone — the cure is Vitamin C. Please do not harm the infected, just lob oranges at them."

And I'll be like, "Oh, what the fuck? I shot my entire zombie family!"

And it'll just be really awkward when I go on dates and things and try to make new friends (since I killed all my zombie friends).

"So, can I meet your family?"

"No, they're dead from the zombie apocalypse."

"Oh, really? That's so horrible. Luckily, my family and I were locked in our house until the oranges arrived. What happened to yours? Did they wander outside and get shot by psychopaths?"

"No, I kind of shot them in the—"

"Check, please."

"I didn't know there would be a cure!"

"Check. Please."

[–][deleted] 27 points28 points ago

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I love the version of the zombie apocalypse where instead of hunting zombies with shotguns we run around and hurl oranges at them. When the zombies come, I'm trying this at least once.

"Dude, what the fuck was THAT?"

"I read it on the Internet once. Shut up and keep shooting.

[–]masklinn 15 points16 points ago

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Why would anyone judge you for shooting zombies?

[–]Miss_fortune 21 points22 points ago*

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My mother has a story similar to this. she used to DJ for her college radio station. every year they would put on a concert for the students and try to draw in a cool band. one year they got Frankie Goes to Hollywood. this also happened to be the year after "relax" came out (it was just after on of their big hits)

first it should be noted that for this annual concert they would get some of the fraternity guys to be security.

So the night of the concert rolls around and the audience is full of screaming girls. from the looks of it all the college kids gave their tickets to their younger siblings (likely they were forced to...)

Frankie does their set and leaves. the screaming horde rushes the stages and the frat boys don't stop them (likely they were afraid) the girls they proceeded to steal everything up on the stage. instruments, banners, EVERYTHING was taken by these girls. and the security girls wimped out and either did not or could not stop them.

[–][deleted] 20 points21 points ago

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DiamondShreddy -- Have you considered changing your name to EpicStoryTellingShreddy? That was awesome! And scary. And I hope I never find myself in such a situation.

[–]DiamondShreddy 29 points30 points ago

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I already changed from SquareShreddy, i won't go through that hellfire again.

[–]driftw00d 8 points9 points ago

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I would also consider VerySensicalAnalogies.

[–]ZeMoose 43 points44 points ago

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I wouldn't have thought Justin Bieber and Basshunter catered to the same demographic.

[–]DiamondShreddy 47 points48 points ago

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They don't. That's why this concert was retarded. Guess what, Masari, Karl Wolf and Pitbull were there too. Make sense of that.

[–]Omnicrola 13 points14 points ago

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Who the hell thought that was in any way a great idea?

[–][deleted] 36 points37 points ago

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People who wanted older brothers to take their littler sisters to a concert.

[–]Kegas 8 points9 points ago

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That is actually pretty smart.

[–]rizzon 24 points25 points ago

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The guy getting the profit.

[–]YesImSardonic 11 points12 points ago

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I don't know, man. Basshunter's "Now You're Gone" is almost entirely made up of the same sort of crap Bieber puts out. The only things worth listening to are "DotA" and "Boten Anna."

[–]greebowarrior 17 points18 points ago

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Basshunter didn't actually produce "Now You're Gone". It was some guy who sampled Boten Anna, and put his own shitty lyrics to it. Basshunter is only referenced as it's technically a remix.

[–]theCroc 7 points8 points ago

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Now you're gone and Boten Anna are the same song with different lyrics.

[–]YesImSardonic 5 points6 points ago

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I realised. However, "Boten Anna" is funny.

[–]theCroc 6 points7 points ago

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True. Boten Anna is somewhat clever while Now you're gone is just meaningless poptrash

[–][deleted] 19 points20 points ago

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I was staying across from Madison Sq. Garden when he was playing and little grils were running into traffic to look into cars to see if it was him. The road was swarmed with children playing in 6 lanes of traffic. Some had parents accompanying them while they did it.

[–]CorneliusJack 43 points44 points ago

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This needs to be on top. Now. If we are ever gonna re-make 'the Great Escape', I hope they cast you as Steve McQueen.

All I can imagine is you trying to fight off the horde of bieberzombies, if there is only a bile-jar equivalence in real-life.

[–]mikemcg 18 points19 points ago

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Bieber Bile. A concoction of his sweat and bodily fluids.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points ago

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That's just what I call his music.

[–]ejtttje 11 points12 points ago

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10,000 lunatics who screamed far more frighteningly than Braveheart and less coherently than Glenn Beck after drinking a bathtub of moonshine and tobasco sauce

Great line, best analogy ever. A+ :-D

[–]polly_morf 14 points15 points ago

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Wait, what? Is Basshunter allowed to be in serious concerts? All my friends in sweden consider him nothing else than a funny peculiarity...

[–]DiamondShreddy 17 points18 points ago

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Is Justin Bieber allowed to be in serious concerts?

Are you allowed to be in serious discussions?

Wait, wha-- Get the fuck out.

[–]brasso 5 points6 points ago*

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It's true though, that guy is pretty much universally (unless you care about the opinion of 12 year olds) considered a joke back home. I didn't even know he was still active but Wikipedia says he fled the country to the U.K. and I've heard nothing about or by him for a long time. Then on the other hand I've never heard Beiber either. Good riddance!

[–]lkb3rd 8 points9 points ago

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I used to work at a club as a bartender, and we had a show one night(we did "all ages" shows too) where all these girls showed up, and I had to help out with security holding them back. I had to actually push back against this screaming horde and I thought I was going to lose at one point. It was scary, and odd to have to use my strength against little girls lol. I didn't feel right about it, but the alternative was letting them swarm the band. They might have been killed :P

[–]Pinata 6 points7 points ago

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This was originally written for the victims of Hiroshima. It seems strangely appropriate here, too.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FfBVYhyXU8o

[–]V2Blast 20 points21 points ago

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I'm still confused as to why you were there.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]Glyndm 26 points27 points ago

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I'm still confused as to why you were there.

[–]callmedood 5 points6 points ago

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Karl wolf? Pitbull? It's like going to the zoo.

[–]PositiveDude 15 points16 points ago

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[–]imjellobaby 6 points7 points ago

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From what I've seen, this is an accurate description.

[–]LittleBeatlesTrivia 5 points6 points ago

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Analogies.... I NEED MORE! My need of analogies is like a.... like a.... DAMN IT!!

[–]enotonom 11 points12 points ago

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Before this life-changing event I'm sure you're just CarbonShreddy. The Bieber tickets are now diamonds!

[–]IsItTheBagel 5 points6 points ago

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Wow, I can think of anything witty to say but thanks for posting this.

[–]Nsuln 10 points11 points ago

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I cannot upvote you enough. How did you yell over all those girls to get the guards know what you were talking about?

[–]DiamondShreddy 60 points61 points ago*

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I can't stress how strange this situation was, we are all 6feet or taller, hairy and large at this concert. Uhhmm, i don't know how to explain this easily; so i won't.

If we were playing the lord of the rings version of risk (basing the characteristics of people on their respective races); and basing population sizes on real earth. The crowd looked like a solid representation of middle-earth if 'The Shire' was as significantly populated as Asia, instead of being as significant as my pee-splatter from splash damage on the toilet seat and Mordor/Man/Elvish/Dwarvish is about as significantly populated as, let's say, the pitcairn islands.

So, you see, 6 men easily mistaken to be LARPing a Paul Bunyon story, we were pretty noticeable when we were flailing our arms about like Olive Oyl in Popeye.

edit: Fixed link. Just needed a recovery heart.

[–]snugglebandit 4 points5 points ago

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I have often said that if I were offered super human powers, mine would be the ability to summon the screams of 10,000 teenage girls.

[–]daschande 5 points6 points ago

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I've heard real-life war stories that weren't as harrowing as that tale. You, good Sir, are lucky to get out alive and intact!

[–]_debug_ 2 points3 points ago

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Little girls listening to Justin Bieber live lose their likeness to anything human, they are less responsive than the dead and more belligerent than drunken scots after the Celtics lose a home game. We were dealing with monsters.

:-))

[–]PirateMud 3 points4 points ago

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The average person cannot comprehend the sheer volume and pitch at which little girls scream.

I splashed some girls with water from a puddle (It was across the full width of the lane, I couldn't move far enough across to keep them dry, I wasn't speeding) and I heard them scream from about 30 feet away with all my car windows closed and... that was amazing.

[–]TTQuoter 3 points4 points ago

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FREEEEEEEEEDOM!!!!

[–]artyen 64 points65 points ago

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They're kind of the same thing, aren't they?

[–]AmazingSyco 13 points14 points ago

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There's only one Bieber.

Until they figure out how to clone.

[–]molo24 10 points11 points ago

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I can't wait!

[–]kaythxbai 34 points35 points ago

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Points at door - Out. Now.

[–]molo24 10 points11 points ago

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I've got bieber fever. Am I in the wrong place?

[–]reverendfrag4 29 points30 points ago*

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You never had a little sister, did you?

At about age 10-12 they start, when in groups, making this HORRIFIC NOISE that penetrates your skull and makes you pray for death.

EDIT: Grammar.

[–]Sunnnshine 58 points59 points ago

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I remember being in high school, and sometimes between classes when everyone was walking, there would be a lightning strike, followed by something we like to call 'thunder.' Now, this THUNDER thing is obviously something teenage girls havent heard of, ever, because every time there would be a crack of lightning and the rumble of thunder, at least 200 girls would screech at the top of their lungs. Seriously, I could never figure it out. It's fucking LIGHTNING. Do they sit at home and scream during every thunderstorm? It's like when teenage girls are entered into a public setting, they scream for the sheer enjoyment of it. Hell, I'm sure they hold contests for it too. It just baffles me.

TL;DR: I hate teenage girls. Don't judge me, I skipped being a teenager altogether and went straight to elderly.

[–]reverendfrag4 28 points29 points ago

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They wanted you to hold them in your manly arms. You did that during storms, right?

Right?

...oh. Oh, dude. "WOOSH"

[–]Jonathan_the_Nerd 7 points8 points ago

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And risk punctured eardrums?

[–][deleted] 20 points21 points ago

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Because our society allows and encourages young girls to act this way. They feel entitled to this behavior and take full advantage of the permission.

If you screamed like they did at thunder, you'd get the shit kicked out of you. But don't act like you wouldn't too if you knew you could get away with it.

[–]morish 3 points4 points ago

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I have a younger sister and she never did this. Growing up inthe 80s and 90s I was never aware of anyone around me who did this. I'm pretty sure it's cultural and that the screaming is primarily a white suburban thing, at least in the US.

[–]Stepoo 10 points11 points ago

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I heard what that sounds like once. Needless to say I'm not allowed within a hundred feet of any girl guide location.

[–]timoleon 5 points6 points ago

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The dad in the picture gets both at the same time ...

[–]KindaOffTopic 14 points15 points ago

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How would you be able to tell Beiber and the screaming girls apart?

[–]DoctorDeath 5 points6 points ago

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I do part time conversion at a stadium and we were there to convert the Justin Beiber concert back to Hockey, so as we were waiting we saw the last three songs of the concert. I have been on the tarmac at the Air Force base when the C130 Hercules takes off with Rocket assist boosters. 24,000 screaming 14 yo girls was by far the loudest thing I have ever heard in my entire life. I had to put my hands over my ears as well, because the sound was making my brain casing vibrate to a painful frequency. Just when you thought it couldn't possibly get any louder, Justin asked them to turn up the lights so he "could see all the beautiful girls in the audience" The screaming increased X5.

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points ago

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That's gotta damage your ears more than any AC/DC concert ever would.

[–]frogsitting 383 points384 points ago

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That guy's image should don every album cover as full disclosure warning.

[–]doug346578910[S] 106 points107 points ago

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Someone needs to tell the record companies.

[–]rosscatherall 150 points151 points ago

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I seem to have misplaced the telephone number for hell.

[–]hemmer 3 points4 points ago

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666 works for me, though all that happens is you are passed between an infinite number of bored call centre operators...

[–]parcivale 27 points28 points ago

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What's an album cover?

[–]douglasr007 61 points62 points ago

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That image that displays underneath "Now Playing"

[–]daschande 23 points24 points ago

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anal bum cover?

[–]Bloody_carrot 15 points16 points ago

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Somehow I knew this day would come.

[–]flashing_lights 20 points21 points ago

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to play devil's advocate; Bieber's music isn't exactly ear piercingly loud or sharp. I'd say he's covering his ears due to the screeching girls.

[–]iSteve 6 points7 points ago

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Absolutely. 5 drunk girls in a bar is loud. 5,000 screaming tweens is serious decibels.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

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challenge accepted.

[–]RagingRacist 52 points53 points ago

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That's no dad. Jason Bourne just used a Justin Bieber concert as a distraction to throw off a would be assassin.

[–][deleted] 78 points79 points ago

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I can confirm this.

[–]blandz87 151 points152 points ago

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What a good parent. Sacrificing many auditory nerve cells and abandoning inner peace to let his daughter and her friends scream fiercely for 3 hours.

[–]pounds 182 points183 points ago

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he lost the coin flip

[–]doug346578910[S] 44 points45 points ago

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mom tricked him with this

[–]ForgettableUsername 53 points54 points ago

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Who flips a nickel? Honestly!

[–]seagramsextradrygin 41 points42 points ago

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Nickels are great for flipping! They are very heavy and dense; you get a really good clink and spin out of it. It's second to a quarter probably based on diameter alone, but other than that it's a great coin.

[–]ForgettableUsername 30 points31 points ago

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Fifty cent pieces or quarters are the best, I think. A quarter will do in a pinch... a nickel is just too small. In addition to this, I am always slightly annoyed by nickels, dimes and pennies because they are not sized according to their values. Granted, this is mostly the dime's fault and not the nickel's, but the nickel has still bought into the system, so it ought to be held accountable for allowing this corrupt and immoral economy of sizing to have occurred in the first place.

[–]pvdp 43 points44 points ago

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You go and try to flip 50 cent.

[–]daschande 12 points13 points ago

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...but he'll shovel your driveway for 50 buck.

[–]armakaryk 9 points10 points ago

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The single best coin for flipping is the english two pence. It's large size and copper casing not only make the coin easier to handle but also they play with the resonance making the two pence much louder than the similarly sized quarter.

[–]stunt_penguin 13 points14 points ago

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Bringing perfect peace and quiet for at least 3 days... they can't say anything and he can't hear anything.

[–]pearlbones 4 points5 points ago

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My thought is more along the lines of, "What a terrible parent for allowing and encouraging their child to become brainwashed by bullshit marketing like this".

I honestly don't get why any parent lets their kid watch cable anymore. In retrospect, I am so glad my dad turned cable off for the majority of my childhood after seeing how easily little kids can be brainwashed by commercials and TV shows.

[–]onlive 91 points92 points ago

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I wonder what would happen to me if I showed up to a Justin Beiber concert. Really, I mean what would really happen. I'm in my 30's, fat, hairy and an alcoholic. Do you think I could pull it off without security trying to fuck with me? Like if I got up to the front gate and started screaming frantically, taking off my shirt and exposing my glisening, morbidly obese body for Justin to get a good look at, maybe even wink at him or something creepy like that.... think I could do it?

[–]Amadiro 51 points52 points ago

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YES OH GOD YES!

[–]InternetDrama 23 points24 points ago

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I would buy you a drink. That's what would happen.

[–]stubble 6 points7 points ago

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I went to see Amy Winehouse before she became the drug addled nut job she is today. I was one of a very small handful of older guys at a concert mostly attended by 16yo girls... thing is.. I didn't actually have my daughter with me .. felt just a little out of place...

[–]retlawmacpro 3 points4 points ago

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If you're morbidly obese, maybe you should start an exercise plan. Don't want the morbid part to come true

[–]Fermenon 104 points105 points ago

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Our daughters put us through hell! Luckily I have a son that I can use to blunt the trauma of events such as this. When the first Twilight came out, my daughter was pestering me to see it. The plan was to meet up with a bunch of her friends at the theater. Being the overprotective dad, I wasn't going to drop my 10 year old daughter off without being present. I "bribed" (death treat) my son into going with us, knowing that my daughter was going to run off with her friends as soon as we got there. We got to the theater, grabbed our tickets and sure enough, my daughter ran off with her friends. Looking around, my son and I were about the only males in the theater. Luckily, with him along, it wouldn't be quite as awkward surrounded by hundreds of teenager girls. As we sat in our seats, my 14 year old son ran into 10 girls from his school who pulled them away with them and left me by myself completely surrounded by teenage girls. I slumped into my seat and tried to hide behind my large popcorn as I sat there listening to the cackling and cursing my son in my head, just trying to not be noticed as the 40 year old perv. tldr: I need a shower

[–][deleted] 59 points60 points ago

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I "bribed" (death treat)

You must make life pretty bad for your son if you can dangle death as a treat for him.

[–]Zaziel 13 points14 points ago

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Did you feel the movie theater get moist?

[–]WildAbra 8 points9 points ago

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your son is a pimp. congrats

[–]mikelieman 24 points25 points ago

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FWIW, those girls in the audience are capable of truly dangerous decibel levels.

[–]rosscatherall 48 points49 points ago

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The girl on stage is capable of twice as many.

[–]geft 28 points29 points ago

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Decibels are logarithmic.

[–]o_g 60 points61 points ago

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Fine,the girl on stage is capable of logarithmic as many.

[–][deleted] 25 points26 points ago

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That doesn't even make sense.

[–]daschande 10 points11 points ago*

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It doesn't have to, Lois; I'm beautiful!

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points ago

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He knows what he said

[–]WildBohemian 97 points98 points ago

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This is why I will raise my daughter on Led Zeppelin.

[–]zorbix 26 points27 points ago

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I'll meet her in heaven.

[–]WhitakerBlackall 29 points30 points ago

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Are you going to take the stairs?

[–][deleted] 48 points49 points ago

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points to sign that reads: NO STAIRWAY

[–]daschande 25 points26 points ago

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No Stairway? DENIED!

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points ago

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No but there is a broken escalator.

[–][deleted] 15 points16 points ago

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I'm totally with you, but this will not work. The culture is just too pervasive. You'd have to throw away the TV (not too bad) and homeschool (potentially very bad).

[–]executex 28 points29 points ago

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It's very possible. If you expose a girl to enough different genres and educate them of the dangers of social mentality and sociology, they will eventually hate Justin Bieber.

/professional_brainwasher

[–]ancient1 18 points19 points ago

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What an awesome dad! He's wearing a tie, he probably just got off work and went to this concert with his daughter and her friends.

[–]diggmeordie 13 points14 points ago

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I'd like to think he's an overdressed pervert who posted an ad for free Beiber tickets on craiglist for a lucky 12 year old when he realizes he's in way over his head now.

[–]Snufflesaur 15 points16 points ago

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Is it just me or does the chick in the middle look like Dewey from Malcom in the Middle?

[–][deleted] 28 points29 points ago

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25% of chicks look like Dewey from Malcolm in the Middle.

[–]garvus123 7 points8 points ago

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Did you just refer to an 11-year-old girl as a "chick"? But seriously though, yeah, she does.

[–]Snufflesaur 22 points23 points ago

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Ha yeah I guess that's a little young. I just did it out of habit really, wasn't thinking about it.

And THAT is what I'll tell the judge.

[–]zombiecharlesdarwin 17 points18 points ago

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He is so excited he looks like he is going to cry

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points ago

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DUDE. I thought I was the only one who thought that upon first glance. He's totes stoked for J Biebs!

[–]lolmemelol 48 points49 points ago

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That man deserves a blow job every day for the rest of his life.

[–]andrewinmelbourne 61 points62 points ago

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Are you offering your services to him?

[–]lolmemelol 45 points46 points ago

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...Dad?

[–]notalady 29 points30 points ago

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That would have to be a very grateful daughter.

[–]JeremiahRossini 8 points9 points ago*

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If I discovered Justin Beiber to be a cleaverly disguised 51 year old pedophile and my daughters were still screaming about him I'd look like him too.

[–]wayfinder 13 points14 points ago

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In this post and its comments, "Beiber": 7 x; "Bieber": 6 x

[–]manikfox 6 points7 points ago

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It's like a young girl sound grenade... Contacting the army about this as I type.

[–]Madak 5 points6 points ago

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Why do little girls scream bloody murder when they like something? I've never understood it.

[–]indoordinosaur 5 points6 points ago

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this has 666 cumulative upvotes. The flying spaghetti monsters is trying to tell me something.

[–]diadem 6 points7 points ago

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Hell is other people

[–]Unicornasaurus 36 points37 points ago

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[–]TlCKETS 17 points18 points ago

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You forgot the one on the t-shirt :P

[–]iwin2000 19 points20 points ago

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would have been better with the dad face

[–]thebeefytaco 7 points8 points ago

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[–]byttle[!] 9 points10 points ago

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Did anyone else read the title as "Dead at Justin Beiber concert"?

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points ago

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Classic face! My parents should thank me I never made them take me to that kind of shit. My mom took us to Warped Tour one summer and actually had a pretty good time.

[–]JWN6513 1 point2 points ago

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I love the fact that the camera guy has earphones on and obviously doesn't give a fuck.

[–]d07c0m 5 points6 points ago

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He's been dead inside for a while now.

[–]gravelocity 4 points5 points ago

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Seen that look before. Had it too. That is the direct result from (not the Beibs believe it or not, but) the entire population of 14 y/o girls in the crowd hitting the 10 KHz range in unison.

[–]RandalGraves 2 points3 points ago

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Was in Time Out New York, but my friend was the original photographer!

http://www.naomiellenson.com/Naomi_Ellenson_Photography/Time_Out_New_York/Pages/Justin_Bieber_at_MSG.html#2

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

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Dad's repsonse to girl asking about his opinion of the concert.

I've seen War, I have seen torture, I've seen men kill other men, and I've seen men being killed by other men. But I've never seen such a horror as what I have just witnessed.