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top 200 commentsshow all 259

[–][deleted] 290 points291 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]nejdu 599 points600 points ago

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I thought this was the original.

[–]Overlord_Eye 454 points455 points ago

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What the fuck?

[–]kingj1222 1 point2 points ago

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my words exactly...

[–]ohmahgawd 185 points186 points ago

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I can honestly say I did not see that coming.

[–]squidp 12 points13 points ago

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Upvoted for username relevance.

[–]ShittyThingToSay 6 points7 points ago

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Downvoted for username irrelevance. Stick to /r/biology you fucking useless shitpipe.

[–]FoozleMoozle 4 points5 points ago

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Upvoted for username relevance.

[–]LikeASimile 24 points25 points ago

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Oh my god. I'm laughing very hard. But that's terrifying. WHAT THE FUCK.

[–]TheSunAlsoRises 41 points42 points ago

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This made me laugh very hard. I've been sick all weekend - thank you for this bright spot.

[–]dghughes 9 points10 points ago

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That bright spot is the virus being driven into your optic nerve due to laughing.

[–]warbrain 5 points6 points ago

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I'm glad I'm not the only one who laughed like hell at that.

[–]Jumin 3 points4 points ago

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I on the other hand, am currently cursing nejdu for that. My sides and stomach haven't hurt this good for a long time now.

[–][deleted] 27 points28 points ago

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haha reminds me of the time my dad took us to mcdonalds in newport vt on the way to his parents' house up in chicoutimi and ronald mcdonald was there but you could see the boner through his pants. lol

[–]SherryBobbins 20 points21 points ago

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wow. that is disturbing.

[–]JumpingJesus 16 points17 points ago

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This looks like the work of 4chan, and proof that infinite monkeys clicking buttons in photoshop with infinite time will eventually produce a jiggling ronald-mcdonald raccoon standing in a doorway beside a fire extinguisher.

[–]FavoriteSin 0 points1 point ago

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or b3ta. God bless the multiple monkey theory.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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for me, yeah. my sister, not so much.

[–]OdinsBeard 9 points10 points ago

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I remember that day! Do you still like gladiator movies, Johnny? Do ya?

[–]exlaxbros 4 points5 points ago

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upvote for airplane reference

[–]MisterSquishy 4 points5 points ago

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Comment of the century

[–]cassidyarch 2 points3 points ago

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Up for Chicoutimi!

[–]TheStebes 1 point2 points ago

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It's wonderful childhood memories like this that you'll absolutely never forget.

[–]Thumperings 0 points1 point ago

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Newport Vt? That place has like 7 people, and I was there last week. Weird.

[–]Buck_Rider 11 points12 points ago

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A man on TV is trying to build up the courage to kill his undead wife, has her in a rifle's cross hairs and is sobbing, unable to pull the trigger as a beautiful understated Bear McCreary score takes the emotion to 11. Strong acting. My roommate's girlfriend is tearing up at the scene. My roommate's mouth is agape at the television.

My other roommate is staring at me like I'm a horrible person with a wtf look on his face. I'm sitting on the couch w/ my laptop, trying to keep quiet while crying laughing at what's on my monitor, squeaking and sobbing and choking with a hand sealing my mouth while meanwhile this heart-wrenching scene captivates the rest of the living room.

[–]superdarkness 2 points3 points ago

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I just watched this! This show is awesome!

[–]RandomMonstar 3 points4 points ago

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Upvote for The Walking Dead! Super good!

[–]fiddlesmith 7 points8 points ago

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ahhhhhh my eyes!! yet another thing to have nightmares about.

[–]pale_blue_dot 5 points6 points ago

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oh god... the shaking

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

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that's fucking creepy

[–]NoSalt 3 points4 points ago

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That is just downright disturbing.

[–]tinkthank 4 points5 points ago

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Pro: You made me laugh out loud

Con: I had hot tea landing on my lap that ended the laughter as soon as it started

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

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I'm laughing so hard I have tears streaming down my face and my friend is looking at me with a "what the fuck is wrong with you?" expression on his face.

[–]wolfzalin 1 point2 points ago

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Same here. My wife came to investigate and had to close the window for me. LOL

[–]kyzf42 1 point2 points ago

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Sweet Jebus, it hurts to laugh that hard without making any noise. I almost woke the wife I was shaking the bed so much. That usually only happens in /r/boobies.

[–]andan 1 point2 points ago

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Wait, there's an /r/boobies? I'll need to investigate further. I mean, this thread is interesting and all...but....

I....

Receding footfalls. Door slams.

[–]superdarkness 1 point2 points ago

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nightmare fuel! GAAAAH!

[–]Joshooa 1 point2 points ago

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Upvoted for WTFness

[–]heeb66 1 point2 points ago

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i almost choked on my apple

[–]TMox 1 point2 points ago

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I hadn't laughed out loud in a coons age. Now I'm back to square one.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Oh my fuck! That is the most simultaneously horrific and awesome thing I think that I have ever witnessed on the internet. High-five.

[–]pics-or-didnt-happen 1 point2 points ago

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... alright then.

[–]raginghamster 3 points4 points ago

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"should work"

[–]nazihatinchimp 0 points1 point ago

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That's awesome to see right before I go to sleep.

[–]Henrietta_Pussycat 0 points1 point ago

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Meow meow meow meow what the hell meow meow meow????

[–]VA1N 0 points1 point ago

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Ahh, some things can't be unseen!

[–]thumper242 0 points1 point ago

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I am too damn high for that.

[–]ndrnek1982 9 points10 points ago

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haha! I like this one better.

[–]GiantSquidd 5 points6 points ago

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This still leaves me with plenty of questions.

[–]EyewitBass 1 point2 points ago

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Look at that ear hair. Grampa is that you?

[–]anttirt 1 point2 points ago

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I wonder how many people here get the reference in that picture.

[–]fornax7 0 points1 point ago

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One catburger coming up, singe the cat, hold the mayo!

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Hah! You sly fox!

[–]nordicstalking 0 points1 point ago

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Isn't that the guy who dances to Lady Gaga in those Chat Roulette videos?

[–]unknownpoltroon 41 points42 points ago

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SEE!!! I told you, first you allow gay marriage, and then this is next!!!

[–]crunchmuncher 3 points4 points ago

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S L I P P E R Y S L O P E

[–]fwny 72 points73 points ago

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Don't judge our forbidden love!

[–]my_own_wakawaka 17 points18 points ago

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He looks quite earnest about his honorable intentions of eloping. The cat, on the other hand, looks like it's either being rebellious or is mildly sedated.

[–]my_own_wakawaka 5 points6 points ago

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also, story?

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points ago

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Last night I was a cat and I danced with a racoon and nobody can tell me it isn't right.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points ago

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"I came to tell you that.... You're the father, John."

[–]theyellowperil 1 point2 points ago

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That's what I thought too. They look guilty.

[–]symbha 0 points1 point ago

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forbidden like hannibal lecter.

[–]bananasplits 147 points148 points ago

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Photoshopped!

[–][deleted] 142 points143 points ago

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Schrödinger's Raccoon: Until you say it's shopped, the raccoon is holding the cat.

[–]anewaccountagain 20 points21 points ago

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The photo is both shopped and original at the same time...

[–]astrologue 1 point2 points ago

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There is no raccoon...

[–]pghreddit 14 points15 points ago

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First LOL moment today, thanks.

[–]rickman1011 1 point2 points ago

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The raccoon must have rescued the cat from an infinite well.

[–]MillsonWillson 2 points3 points ago

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Love this

[–]voidwhereprohibited 176 points177 points ago

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I can tell by the pixels, and from seeing plenty of cat-carrying raccoons in my time.

[–]finallymadeanaccount 23 points24 points ago*

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Well, I certainly applaud anyone wanting to train their raccoon to carry a cat, but take it from this old nature rat, I've spent my entire adult life in the wild, and a program like this one can do more harm than good.

If you only train one part of your raccoon (and that's all a single exercise like cat lifts is going to do for you), you're setting yourself up for injuries down the road. I've seen it a hundred times.

It's like putting a powerful engine in a stock Toyota Tercel. What will you accomplish? You'll blow out the drive train, the clutch, the transmission, etc., because those factory parts aren't designed to handle the power of an engine much more powerful than the factory installed engine.

Cat lifts basically only train the chest muscles and to some extent, the triceps. What you really want to do is train your entire raccoon, all the major muscle groups (chest, back, abdomen, legs, shoulders, tail and arms) at the same time, over the course of a workout. And don't forget your cardiovascular work!

I'm proud of you guys wanting to do this. Three cheers! Falling in love with raccoon-based cat carrying is one of the greatest things you can do for yourself. And you WILL fall in love with it if you can just force yourself to stick with it a year or two and experience the amazing progress you'll make.

But do it right, okay?

My advice, find a good raccoon, with qualified cat lifts who will design the carrying for you (especially in the beginning, until you get the hang of it yourself) and guide you in your quest for raccoon-based cat lifting. Thirty to 45 minutes a day, three days a week, is all you'll ever need to do (I refuse to believe anyone is so busy that he or she cannot make time for that, especially considering how important it is).

And don't worry about being embarrassed or not being in shape the first time you walk into the forest. You have to start somewhere and almost every one of us were there ourselves at one time. So no one will say anything to you and very, very quickly you will progress way beyond that stage anyway.

Now get out there and do it! :-)

[–]bananasplits 25 points26 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]evilpeter 66 points67 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]purpletrousers 51 points52 points ago*

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it's pretty hilarious that the fire extuinguisher has either been shopped in or out at one point, too.

edit: spelling

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points ago

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Probably out if anything because there is a subtle reflection of it in the adjacent wood.

[–]coochiesmoocher 18 points19 points ago

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Heheh. Adjacent wood.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

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Wow never knew tineye can do this. I always thought it only returns exactly the same images in different sizes but not variations of it.

[–]bh3 0 points1 point ago

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You gotta be kidding me. It works here on even for variations but when I'm trying to figure out what where some particularly nsfw picture is from it can't find shit. [though practically, it may either be just a very limited picture or tineye actually tries to keep it's database clean in case of accidental matches... think of the children!]

[–]Brontos 1 point2 points ago

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I'd imagine it just works well for memes because of the abundance of them.

[–][deleted] 22 points23 points ago

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you missed stuff

http://imgur.com/gKa3m.jpg

[–]imnotashinobi 6 points7 points ago

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it looked like you were outlining mormon porn.

[–]JohnnyHancock 6 points7 points ago

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I see what you did there with that monocle. Or I'm just crazy.

[–]OdinsBeard 2 points3 points ago

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what you did there. i saw it.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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practically the mormon version...

[–]Fen_ 2 points3 points ago

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No shit.

[–]bananasplits 4 points5 points ago

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Just observing! >:(

[–]karmagedon 0 points1 point ago

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You're supposed to say something more like, "I want to believe."

[–]Radico87 2 points3 points ago

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I want to believe

[–]bananasplits 1 point2 points ago

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Too pessimistic for that!

[–]MsgGodzilla 0 points1 point ago

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badly.

[–]shenaniganizer 57 points58 points ago

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Hes climbin in your windows, snatchin your kittens up.

[–]oracle_geek 20 points21 points ago

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"Thank you for the tasty snack... I must be going now"

[–]jdk 11 points12 points ago

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Hide your kittens, hide your dogs, and hide your babies, cause they eatin errbody up in here.

[–]oracle_geek 0 points1 point ago

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Mmmmm baby back ribs!

[–]traeisrad 38 points39 points ago

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Best Halloween costume yet.

[–]FritzMuffknuckle 18 points19 points ago

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You're doing it wrong. Getting a raccoon and training it was not what your buddies meant when they told you that pets can get you some pussy.

[–]GiantSquidd 7 points8 points ago

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...So the Lone Ranger yells in his ear this time... "I SAID POSSE!!!"

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points ago

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"WHY GOD!? WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!? TAKE ME INSTEAD!"

This was the Oscar winning scene from last year's academy awards. Who didn't shed a tear in the closing scene of 'Coon and Pussy'?

[–]tresbizarre 6 points7 points ago

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That's funny, my cat brought home a baby raccoon the other day. It wasn't quite as cute as this though.

[–]slowy 0 points1 point ago

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Congratulate your cat, raccoons kill the shit out of kitties. They will kill every single one, without mercy.

[–]xblurr 3 points4 points ago

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Hide Yo Cats cuz they rapin' Errybody!

[–]jeremiahlupinski 2 points3 points ago

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Hide your kittens, hide your wife.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

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Two of my cats were attacked and killed by raccoons. I keep hearing that sound in my head...

[–]MercurialMadnessMan 19 points20 points ago

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WHY THE VAGUE TITLE?!

If I want to find this picture a month from now, am I going to say "Oh, hey, that raccoon and cat post, what was it called? Oh yeah, 'I don't know how I should feel about this', right!"

It sounds like I'm off my rocker, but fuck EVERYTHING about vague titles. And this one is about as vague as they come.

More stupid titles from this week:
"Interesting picture." - wickedly vague
For Mothers Only [Pic] - vague, redundant tag
Is it worth it? - vague
Are you short sighted? - vague
*sigh* - incredibly vague
OMG! It worked! - incredibly vague
If these two can work together... - vague
It's just a joke... - vague
Shit just got real. - vague

I love this image, but I'm downvoting your submission. Sorry.

[–]nemec 11 points12 points ago

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On the plus side.... http://imgur.com/MD2Cx.png

[–]MercurialMadnessMan 9 points10 points ago

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HA! In complaining about search-ability, I made it searchable. Neato ;)

[–]jdpage 8 points9 points ago

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You know what? Just go and make an account "se_description" or something. Then post like this on vaguely named images:

Description to be found by Google so that you'll be able to search for this later
This is a masterfully shopped picture of a raccoon.
The raccoon is holding a cat.
The raccoon is standing up.
The cat looks like it is high.

[–]MercurialMadnessMan 4 points5 points ago

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I've thought about this many times, actually. I call him "The Tagger"

[–]FuelUrMind 5 points6 points ago

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Would be a very valuable service. I for one will upvote the comment every time I find a post using it.

[–]Funkyduffy 1 point2 points ago

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I, too, pledge my upvote.

As a side note, MMM, I aven't see you around epic thread lately. Where did our love go?

[–]Disagreed 0 points1 point ago

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There is an account that already does this, but I forget what it is called.

[–]arielmilagro 1 point2 points ago

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Zork mode ON

[–]DelicateStranger 8 points9 points ago*

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Buy them a wedding present? Unless you're a bigot that thinks inter-species marriage is wrong.

I'd be more concerned they are crossing the threshhold into what I'm guessing is your house?

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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Yeah, I don't know how to feel either. I think annoyed by how bad the 'shop was.

[–]Tartantyco 2 points3 points ago

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Horrible photoshop is horrible.

[–]ace586 2 points3 points ago

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Disregard cat. Acquire raccoon.

[–]Wh0rse 2 points3 points ago

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coon and friends to the rescue

[–]Khephran 0 points1 point ago

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Coon is a brand people recognize!

[–]Druuseph 2 points3 points ago

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"It's dangerous to go it alone! Take this"

[–]Darth_Mike 2 points3 points ago

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It's climbin' in yo' windows, snatchin' your kittens up.

[–]KorgRue 2 points3 points ago

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Cute photoshop

"can tell by the pixels"

Seriously though, the giveaway is the soft feathering around the edges of the cat where they used an alpha channel to extract it. Still a cute shoop.

[–]Daemon_of_Mail 2 points3 points ago

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What a terrible shop to see on the first page.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

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you should feel that it's a bad photoshop job..

[–]Enti_San 3 points4 points ago

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why did you just interrupt their romantic time! ಠ_ಠ

[–]Spacetronaught 2 points3 points ago

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Hide your kids. Hide your wife. Hide your cat. Cause they snatchin everybody out here.

[–]itchylot 1 point2 points ago

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That raccoon has seen An Officer and a Gentleman way too many times.

[–]Mcmactheman 1 point2 points ago

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He's walking through your front doors, he's snatchin' your kittehs up.

[–]Altitude5280 1 point2 points ago

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He just wants some pussy.

[–]erekose 1 point2 points ago

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Very disturbed!

[–]idontlikebacon 1 point2 points ago

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This is really cheesy, especially since it's been Photoshop'd. It reminds me something my grandmother would forward to me.

[–]bluequail 1 point2 points ago

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In light of a raccoon doing this and this to a couple of my greys... I would feel pretty nervous about it.

[–]grimatongueworm 1 point2 points ago

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I'd re-charge that fire extinguisher at least once a year.

[–]sawbutter 1 point2 points ago

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I found this kitty outside, can we keep it?

[–]reeksofhavoc 1 point2 points ago

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Whenever I see an animal walking on it's hind legs I can't help but think they have more on most of the human population.

[–]HSMOM 1 point2 points ago

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PedoRacoon!

[–]foureyedphantasm 2 points3 points ago

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I, for one, welcome our kitten-stealing, raccoon overlords.

[–]thejivemonkey 0 points1 point ago

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[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

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You should feel that that is an atrocious shop.

Concept: 8.5/10
Execution: 2/10

[–]ex_ample 1 point2 points ago

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What the fuck?

[–]bebbi 1 point2 points ago

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Clearly photoshopped, but nice pic anyway

[–]RobotKitten 2 points3 points ago

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They be walkin in yo doors, snatchin yo kittens up.

[–]waitsfieldjon 0 points1 point ago

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Isn't romance sweet?

[–]HerthaBSC 0 points1 point ago

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Totally thought the raccoon was a kid in a stormtrooper costume and the cat was a laser blaster.

[–]squackmire 0 points1 point ago

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Aroused certainly makes sense.

[–]overflowTank 0 points1 point ago

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angry that your time was wasted

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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easy, just ignore blatant photoshops and your struggles with reality will likely clear

[–]Mr_DNA 0 points1 point ago

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That's one tiny cat.

Or a huge raccoon.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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awe, their first apartment

[–]aaronisreal 0 points1 point ago

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Freaked out, is how I feel.

[–]tg989 0 points1 point ago

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I know, photoshopped.

[–]captain_vanadium 0 points1 point ago

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photoshopped or not... I'm not normally scared of raccoons, but for some reason I find that raccoon extremely creepy and disturbing.

[–]zoger113 0 points1 point ago

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And Pedo coon quickly returned to the Pedo Creatures layer.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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I was really hoping this was clever taxidermy.

[–]miiiiiiiik 0 points1 point ago

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caught stealing fire extinguishers

[–]thetanky 0 points1 point ago

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Sounds like a bad joke

[–]Kranden 0 points1 point ago

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What... I don't even

[–]aldofaldo1 0 points1 point ago

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This is no mine

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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its photoshoped obviously

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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so long as he doesn't go for the fire extinguisher, you should be ok....

[–]ilostmyoldaccount 0 points1 point ago

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Dunno. How do you feel about fakes in general?

[–]ChaSuiBao 0 points1 point ago

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I'm so confused.

[–]inajeep 0 points1 point ago

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Ricky, you got some splaining to do.

[–]nightreader 0 points1 point ago

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What movie is the original from?

[–]reggiegrip 0 points1 point ago

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words cannot describe how confused i am...should've sent a poet..

[–]Futhermucker 0 points1 point ago

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From the thumbnail, I thought it was a Lego stormtrooper.

[–]Arrgh 0 points1 point ago

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"Are you gonna eat this?"

[–]javocado 0 points1 point ago

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creepy voice

"Sleeeeeep."

[–]khanfusion 0 points1 point ago

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It's particularly funny to me, since I've raised a few raccoons, and one of them really acted like it was in love with my cat.

[–]Eroc 0 points1 point ago

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Coon poon boogie.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Awwwww, he's bringing home dinner!

[–]evgeny_ti 0 points1 point ago

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you should not feel guilty for karma whoring, yourcraft

[–]throwaway2481632 0 points1 point ago

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How about this? http://www.xopl.com/blog/embedded/pompokoballs2.jpg

(in case you were wondering what they are floating on, maybe this pic will give you an idea http://www.xopl.com/blog/embedded/pompokoballs1.jpg )

[–]thavi 0 points1 point ago

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One time, when I was staying at a hotel in Virginia, I came out of a door that happened to have a trash can right beside it. Upon stepping outside, I observed an explosion of trash all around the receptacle, with more trash coming out piece by piece, just flying out of the can.

My WTF rapidly kicked in and I walked over to check it out, and there was a raccoon in the trash can sifting through the trash piece by piece, throwing them out one at a time, at a rate of at least 1 piece per second. Absolutely inspiring. I sure hope that little critter found himself a nice meal in there somewhere.

[–]xMadxScientistx 0 points1 point ago

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Carrying the wife over the threshold?

[–]Peirce77 0 points1 point ago

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Look! They have people hands!

[–]skewp 0 points1 point ago

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I guess this is supposed to look cute or something, but to me it looks sinister as hell, like the raccoon is abducting the cat from the house in order to eat it.

[–]yellowsnowman 0 points1 point ago

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i want to see the second pic where the raccoon eats the cat

[–]Have-a-Muffin 0 points1 point ago

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"I was playing with your fuzzy toy and I broke it... Sorry... May I have another please?"

[–]gshumway 0 points1 point ago

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Stop him! That little masked thief is stealing your lunch!

[–]NoSalt 0 points1 point ago

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I wonder if he washed it first???

[–]cyberpsych 0 points1 point ago

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This is all 'cause of thu gays!

[–]wtfusername 0 points1 point ago

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just slowly take your cat back, say thank you and back away very slowly

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Damnit, I thought it was real.

[–]emperor000 0 points1 point ago

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Since it is obviously fake, why does it really matter?

[–]realister 0 points1 point ago

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its photoshopped

[–]Bagelkit 0 points1 point ago

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Wow, i haven't seen raccoon door in years.

[–]fortytl 0 points1 point ago

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He's got the cat, and he's going to get you next. You better call in the Bear corps.

[–]nmatrix9 0 points1 point ago

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That . . . would creep the fuck outta me if I saw that.