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top 200 commentsshow all 291

[–][deleted] 169 points170 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]manux 13 points14 points ago

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What the... hail?

[–]AndyJarosz 73 points74 points ago

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What the HAL?

FTFY

[–]manux 2 points3 points ago

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I got pwnt... I still don't understand how the "4 hours from now" could occur.

[–]consoneo 17 points18 points ago

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Maybe Imgur checks the time on your computer vs. time submitted? So maybe user is in a different time zone and doesn't have the settings right or his clock is just behind.

Or maybe he just edited it.

[–]dragonfly_blue 26 points27 points ago

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It's so sweet once you land your first chrono trigger mod. I hate to tell you this but the cheatcode late blossomer 'publicans that keep yammering about what a threat Eminem represents to the minds of our youth have been clock-gaming the comment threads of major publications for quite a very long time.

Like, say, today is October 18 2010, right, easy enough. I go to the American Spectator site and read an article, say, purportedly written in 2007 claiming that marijuana shouldn't be legalized for whatever reason, and while I'm reading the article they are AJAXing the comment thread and backdating their opinion comments(!!!) to make them look like they were all written in 2007 as well. Modifying the comments that aren't visible on your screen to suit there taste so that when you finally get to reading the comment threads they are all filled with precisely coordinated and carefully placed arguments that push their agenda.

And if you're not careful to look for that stuff, it gets worse, because if you stop to reply to one of those backdated comments with your own comment, YOU are the one who looks OUT OF STEP with the rest of them, because CLEARLY, you're replying to a comment from 2007 that's been there a long time and YOUR OWN comment is always time-stamped 2010.

So YOU LOOK OUT OF STEP at that stage because each and every one of those articles are carefully arranged to contribute to the 'publican agenda, and are designed, well, meticulously crafted is more like it, to MAKE YOU FEEL LIKE YOU LOST THE DEBATE because your swooshy, skirt-wearing, lib-gay-agenda-pushing comment is so late in arriving to the article. Whereas they are able to detect when someone is arriving at that same article IN REALTIME and are able to reshuffle the dates at any given moment to make their own version seem morally and philosophically and logically righteous. It's all AJAX so you'll hardly ever catch them at the time, and you'll seriously wonder if you're wasting your time, because comments jump around and whole threads are reaped for their gems, and they are modifying the DOM with their finely honed ECMAscript cheat code walk throughs to make sure that NOBODY EVER WINS AGAINST THEM.

And it happens to publications you think are above the influence, but sadly that's where the campaign contributions end up, is as hedge investments that are simply funds they can access at will to lock down their backdated comment, er, "options", if you know what I mean by that. Backdating options is illegal and there are laws against it, but it's very hard to catch this particular group of tennis-sweater-wearing mouth-breather ivy-league spoiled white kids that it's possibly that it will just never happen.

So they basically get a lock on the status quo at that point. Arguing with them on their turf is pointless unless you've got flawless code flow you can utilize some of that to block them from successfully AJAXing the 2007 thread, if you're really lucky and know how to coordinate your team's initiative sometimes you can have your best decker freeze up the whole DOM for a while, and if his date mod javascript modules are well designed and unobtrusive your team can then relax and defeat their crappy 'publican arguments with good old fashioned hardcore logic, well-timed threadcrap carpetbombings, and shapeshifter character implants to step up the heat on the turf they had so carefully convinced themselves was unbeatable.

You can see how this can get speculative quickly and I don't want to get too science-fictiony, but this is stuff they've been using for a while now and it took a long time before I actually did anything useful about it. I've got postitions for some of my own counterflows on the rise here and there stashed away, some free radicals playing, a couple of quant guys I'm longtime involved with, and a couple of rockstar jazz artists that know how to freestyle their way through a three-year-old thread like it's the latest thing and before you know it you're working with a world-class team.

Now of COURSE none of this is true at all, I'm just lion. But you can see how once word of it gets out, ALL the major players are going to want to try their hand at it. At this point, look out! And that's all I can say, since perhaps I'm just blathering smoking and taking a moment for refreshers for people who should have paid attention the first time this topic reared it's ugly head. lol trololo, quite the fun little show. But I didn't and don't and it's wrong and unethical, so don't manipulate people using this type of device for some "cause" with dark secrets or Starcraft1 Ghosts.

But I'll admit that the first time I successfully participated in a round of this style of play, I got very excited to play and to this day, there are people who've played me in Creeper/Taunt Mode, and they look away and leave the room QUICKLY, when I come around.

I guess suddenly hearing somebody yell the Starcraft Ghost phrases like "GHOST REPORTING" in a colorful growl and he steps out of the shadows and he's got a Cloak and a Snuke, it's got a tendency to make people poop their pants out of fear, and usually that's just about all you've got to do to turn a game they've locked down into a little pile of wood-pulpy grey goo.

Cheers!

[–]Jackal_6 33 points34 points ago

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tl;dr

[–][deleted] 24 points25 points ago

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I just skipped to the part that said

Cheers

[–]natalee_t 3 points4 points ago

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I made it half way then went "fuck it" when it still wasn't making any sense.

[–]Shadax 4 points5 points ago

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I realized it wasn't about Chrono Trigger then went "fuck it."

[–]gatz 16 points17 points ago

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WHAT

[–]StickyDank 10 points11 points ago

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tl;dr - I don't fucking know.

[–]tnkie 6 points7 points ago

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I've got a killer hangover so can someone please tell me if this makes sense to them.

[–]flatlander30 4 points5 points ago

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Nope, not to me at least. Though it is entertaining.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

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The fuck? I need to start drinking more.

[–]dragonfly_blue 0 points1 point ago

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More, or less. More or less. Moraless.

[–]TrollasaurusRex 3 points4 points ago

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Raaaaawr!

[–]dragonfly_blue 0 points1 point ago

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Raawfr! ROFLOCOPTERSAUROUS!!

[–]chronicpirate 4 points5 points ago

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tl;dr Website comment threads are war, he's actually a lion, trololol, starcraft ghosts and creepers, Cheers!

[–]Holk23 2 points3 points ago

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I wonder how many people up-voted it, yet still didn't read it

[–]Banezaka 1 point2 points ago

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WOW, great comment! ....

[–]dragonfly_blue 0 points1 point ago

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Why thank you. I do my best FAILURE TO COMPLY ON LINE 69 ABEND

[–]ItsAllSarcasm 1 point2 points ago

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After reading everything you said, I whole heartedly agree.

[–]shreddinsven 1 point2 points ago

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Swiftkey?

[–]appropriate-username 1 point2 points ago

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Saved for if I ever need a wall of text for anything (perhaps for a text castle?)

[–]dragonfly_blue 0 points1 point ago

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Tee hee, thank you very much. :-)

That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me.

[–]appropriate-username 1 point2 points ago

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THAT'S the nicest thing? Even on here? In four years?

...umm.....you've got nice hair =P lol

[–]Moridyn 0 points1 point ago*

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I have no idea what you said but I think it should be bestof'd.

[–]travis_of_the_cosmos 2 points3 points ago

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Still says 11 minutes from now as of 3 hours post-reddit submission. Witchcraft!

[–]PlasmaWhore 0 points1 point ago

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Says 4 hours ago for both the reddit submission and the imgur for me.

[–]dreamlax 1 point2 points ago

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Says "Submitted 9 minutes from now" for me.

[–]ObscureGecko 1 point2 points ago

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Mine says "uploaded 1 minute from now", so it's not edited.

[–]RonsLizard 1 point2 points ago

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spacetime, if you stare far enough into space you are really staring back in time. perception timetravel, feelsgoodman

[–]nothing_clever 0 points1 point ago

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You could always take that one step further: it takes time for light to get from an object to your eyes, for the signal to get to your brain, for it to be processed. You are only capable of seeing what has passed, and never what is happening.

[–]formerformic 353 points354 points ago

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He must have a tab.

[–]roxm 243 points244 points ago

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I think he goes there to escape.

[–]allwaysnice 203 points204 points ago

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He'll leave, but he always returns.

[–]Jiert 60 points61 points ago

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Afterwords, he hits the pipe.

[–]giunta13 47 points48 points ago

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He only went that far cause mission control wouldn't pick up.

[–][deleted] 136 points137 points ago

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Num Lock.

[–]NOACeulemans 51 points52 points ago

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Don't you dare alter the course of this thread!

[–]newton101 67 points68 points ago

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You guys need to delete these comments and go home.

[–]Jazzbandrew 78 points79 points ago

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Seriously, we need to shift this thread in another direction.

[–]networkjester 49 points50 points ago

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If I insert a comment here, can we continue?

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points ago

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Don't try to control people.

[–]h_roark 5 points6 points ago

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alternatively, we could continue

[–]AHugeDeadWhale 6 points7 points ago

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No. This conversation stops here. Period.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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He probably just got back from a mission to a star system that was arranged like this: ⌘.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

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I'm sure his mood tends to shift after drinking all those beers.

[–]KableKiB 14 points15 points ago

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He'll need to Page Down to mission Ctrl and take a Pause Break before he Returns Home so he doesn't End ↑ F1cking up the landing.

[–]NinjaBob 14 points15 points ago

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I like to Scroll down through these pun threads and I find it disheartening when someone Locks them all up in one post.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points ago

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I guess the mac button

[–]HuruHara 1 point2 points ago

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Fucking !

[–]KableKiB 0 points1 point ago

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Had to stick @nother one in there.

[–]ahalenia 4 points5 points ago

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Triple pun!

[–]AtheismFTW 0 points1 point ago

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I got "bar tab" and "tab key", but what's the 3rd pun?

[–]ahalenia 0 points1 point ago

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drinking Tab cola... okay, a bit of a stretch

[–]chrisvarick 0 points1 point ago

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THE KEYBOARD

[–]redditor3000 0 points1 point ago

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ohhh.... I see what you did there.

[–]LordCivil 0 points1 point ago

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Looks to me like that astronaut spaced out and ended up in the wrong place.

[–]ProfessorSomething 122 points123 points ago

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I'm going to save this to my hard drive and then show my friends. And then, when they don't get it, I'll explain it to them in a condescending way. Boosting my friends' opinion of both me as a person, and my intelligence.

[–]brockington 32 points33 points ago

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It's not gonna work, man. If they don't get it, you're just going to have to show them your dick.

[–]deviationblue 7 points8 points ago

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Wisdom via Chat Roulette?

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points ago

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ChatRoulette is the Wikipedia of our generation

[–]Peroxyde 8 points9 points ago

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[Citation Needed]

[–]tinou 1 point2 points ago

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that's what she said

[–]12mOhio 1 point2 points ago

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i have learned more on chatroulette that all my years of school. to be fair, im 12 and i learned how to jack off with chatroulette

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Troll level 12 acquired

[–]unexpectedgaycomment 1 point2 points ago

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Right before you flash, rub yourself hard so that when you snap the undies over head of your cock it jumps up like it was springloaded.

[–]fyaa 0 points1 point ago

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wait... what

[–]AutonomousPerception 6 points7 points ago

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You sir, are a scholar.

[–]BenKenobi88 14 points15 points ago

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Well he is a professor.

[–]Sven2774 3 points4 points ago

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and a gentlman.

[–]pikatore 1 point2 points ago

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Gene Simmons... is that you?

[–]aperson 0 points1 point ago

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You can't be me.

[–]ForzaInter 49 points50 points ago

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Space bar! Where's my prize?

[–]Minim4c 60 points61 points ago

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[–]ggggbabybabybaby 97 points98 points ago

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My browser blocks cookies by default.

[–]jezmck 9 points10 points ago

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Then how did you know what that picture was?!

I can shenan, shennanni, shen, cheating!

[–]Hideous 5 points6 points ago

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It probably said something like "Cookie blocked", silly.

[–]skameeto 0 points1 point ago

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George Bush?

[–]ForzaInter 26 points27 points ago

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Printing...

[–]laivindil 9 points10 points ago

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Eating...

Well? How was it?

[–]ForzaInter 9 points10 points ago

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How should I know? You ate it! ಠ_ಠ

[–]laivindil 0 points1 point ago

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I ate my copy, it was nice and fresh but feel like something was lost in the interwebs.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Eating it is the least of my worries right now

[–]loginfliggle 3 points4 points ago

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My god. That's one delicious looking cookie!

[–]fyaa 2 points3 points ago

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[–]alfis26 1 point2 points ago

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Ah shit, i had Gay bar.

Edit: Scrolling down I noticed I am not a unique individual.

[–]whatisthis8 23 points24 points ago

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If you like it, vote for it on Threadless here: http://www.threadless.com/submission/302627/Spacebar

[–]ebbomega 39 points40 points ago

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GIRL!

I WANNA TAKE YOU TO A SPACEBAR!

I WANNA TAKE YOU TO A SPACEBAR!

I WANNA TAKE YOU TO A SPACE BAR SPACE BAR SPACEBAR!

[–]imdwalrus 2 points3 points ago

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[–]Facepuncher 4 points5 points ago

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no no no its BAH

[–]ULTRA_Lenin 28 points29 points ago

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Anybody got this in wallpaper size?

[–]leesfer 77 points78 points ago

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This is a design for a t-shirt that the OP has ripped and reposted on Imgur.

Edit: Original link

[–]DaGreatOvechkin 29 points30 points ago

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I'm really getting sick of people not giving credit to authors...

[–]no_frill 8 points9 points ago

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Especially when you see something and think "oh cool, I want to get that on a tshirt" only to find out you would be totally ripping someone's hard work. I appreciate the redditors out there who are going around linking to sources, thankfully.

[–]DaGreatOvechkin 6 points7 points ago

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I really wish people would stop upvoting this shit and downvote until they started linking to content.

[–]Leadboy 4 points5 points ago

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This is even worse as the t-shirt in question on threadless is still in voting and has not gone to print.

[–]msiekkinen 1 point2 points ago

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Well you have a good portion of reddit complaining about blogspam and how you should link to imgur. I realize that blogspam is no better than ripping off the original source to imgur but the community sends mixed messages.

It's like when you see so many people make self posts with the link in the text with a messsage like "i didn't want to karama whore so i did this".

[–]DaGreatOvechkin 2 points3 points ago

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Just be honest. Link to imgur. Comment with link to post. More karma for OP and hivemind is satisfied.

[–]msiekkinen 1 point2 points ago

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Not a bad compromise

[–]Atario 1 point2 points ago

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*artists

[–]DaGreatOvechkin 0 points1 point ago

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Thanks :D

[–]grumbles 0 points1 point ago

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I was hoping the source might be revealed. Of course, upon seeing your link--slowly moving my mouse toward it--I'm thinking, "If this points to Threadle--"

God fucking damnit.

[–]burketo 0 points1 point ago

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They have some cool designs. I love this one!

Thanks for linking.

[–]skullomania 7 points8 points ago

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Anybody got this in keyboard cover size?

[–]vato 0 points1 point ago

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Yes, please.

[–]ErikFitz 10 points11 points ago

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A friend of mine did a similar piece a few years ago.

[–]mynoduesp 8 points9 points ago

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I wanna take you to a SPACE BAR!

[–]AnagramReply 0 points1 point ago

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You can awake to be part Asian!

[–]ilovelegos413 0 points1 point ago

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I hate that song but this is totally what popped into my head as soon as I saw the picture.
I kinda hate myself now...

[–]phoenix1909 1 point2 points ago

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Why do you hate that song? It's amazing!

[–]ilovelegos413 0 points1 point ago

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As soon as I hear it or think of it it's stuck in my head for days. Fuck that.

[–]internetz 5 points6 points ago

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we all know that all pilots get kablamoed...........imagine what the astronauts drink! lunar sunrises

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

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Tequila Galaxy Rise, made with Tang of course!

[–]caribou_steve 2 points3 points ago

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I hear they're addicted to Tang and they eat breafast upside down.

WE DON'T NEED NO MOON CHEESE BABIES

[–]GOPscareTACTICS 1 point2 points ago

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His stomach probably serves as an incubator for an Alien Fetus!

[–]bendynachos 4 points5 points ago

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This is probably too late to be seen by anyone, but at least give the artist some credit.

[–]Jenology 3 points4 points ago

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I want this on a shirt.

[–]whatisthis8 19 points20 points ago

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[–]cometparty 0 points1 point ago

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Don't.

[–]dghughes 2 points3 points ago

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It can be tough working at Space ⌘

[–]drivemethru 4 points5 points ago

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Did the astronaut look like "The Stig" to anyone else?

[–]Primeribsteak 1 point2 points ago

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Aynone have a higher resolution of this for a wallpaper?

[–]Soda 1 point2 points ago

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First thought: Need wallpaper. Second thought: Very poor astronaut's Restaurant at the End of the Universe.

[–]mcnublets 1 point2 points ago

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apparently so does the stig

[–]snailboy 1 point2 points ago

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He's drinking Moonshine.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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[–]sideways8 1 point2 points ago

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Funny story, when I was 7 or so and on the internet unsupervised for the first time, I hadn't a clue what to do. So I typed in the first thing that came to mind: www.spacebar.com. It was this freaky chatroom full of older people talking about adult topics like mortgages and sex. Totally surreal.

[–]Koojay 1 point2 points ago

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Wallpaper? 1680x1050 http://imgur.com/WdHGL.jpg

I did my best :\

[–]BernzSed 1 point2 points ago

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The Two Guys from Andromeda beat you to that joke, in the 1993 game Space Quest V

[–]Gjam 0 points1 point ago

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Wish there were more of us who could upvote ya

[–]DougWomble 1 point2 points ago

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I'd never go to a spacebar - there's just no atmosphere.

[–]Woutertje 1 point2 points ago

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Dammit, I was going for Mars bar.

[–]furbait 1 point2 points ago

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why the fuck does this have 1700 votes? sometimes this site is the stupidest fucking thing ever.

[–]bh3 1 point2 points ago

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I dunno, sometimes after rough day I like a bad pun, it reminds me not to take thing so seriously; and as part of the pic reddit, I don't consider this so bad. (notably though, 1700 votes is a little weird / excessive for this, but you know what. Every one vote seems justified, so if it managed to get 1700 individuals to upvote, so be it. It's not as if we voted it 10/10, just a lot of people voted it once)

[–]qazqaz7k 1 point2 points ago

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Keyboard?... that doesn't make any sense. Oh, Space Bar.

[–]DeskFlyer 0 points1 point ago

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Well, that certainly explains this.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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The threadless, you deserve it

[–]Cremnlin 0 points1 point ago

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This is brilliant!

[–]snuffs 0 points1 point ago

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aahhhhhh I see what you did there.

[–]ggggbabybabybaby 0 points1 point ago

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It's lonely out in space...

[–]ILikeBumblebees 0 points1 point ago

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I remember this joke from a copy of Enter Magazine that I had when I was five years old.

[–]jezmck 0 points1 point ago

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So, 7 years ago? ;)

[–]Uberhipster 0 points1 point ago

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Pft. I remember this joke before Enter Magazine.

[–]AugmentedFourth 0 points1 point ago

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This should be a Woot! shirt.

[–]Cheeseball701 0 points1 point ago

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[–]Morbo_Mad 0 points1 point ago

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The SpaceBa.. no wait, 10 forward!!

[–]aaronisreal 0 points1 point ago

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Houston, we've had a (drinking?) problem.

[–]SarcastictoaFault 0 points1 point ago

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Where is the bartender?

[–]donjo 0 points1 point ago

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I thought you were going to say cockpit.

[–]powderstracked 0 points1 point ago

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god I hate these fucking threadless designs with their cutesy "jokes"

[–]caernavon 0 points1 point ago

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The Stig hangs out at the Space Bar too? Cool!

[–]Andrewr05 0 points1 point ago

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I was bored

EDIT: Yes I know some of them are way off, it only took me like 5 mins to type all that in.

Also in b4 "that should be a Mac/Linux KB!"

[–]blitz79 0 points1 point ago

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** slow clap **

[–]vorlik 0 points1 point ago

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How can he drink through his helmet? Guess that's part of the awesomeness.

[–]sighdvu 0 points1 point ago

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Knee-slapper... :D

[–]thebuccaneersden 0 points1 point ago

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This would make an awesome wallpaper.

[–]Zorink 0 points1 point ago

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[–]caldera 0 points1 point ago

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Wife: Space Key!? I DONT GET IT!

Me: sigh

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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You know the key to a good joke.

[–]muirnoire 0 points1 point ago

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You know you wanna hit it.

[–]jamin_brook 0 points1 point ago

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See, from the thumbnail I thought it was just going to be a keyboard (maybe slightly modded), which is probably closer to the truth (if, by "hang out," you mean spend most of your time)

[–]valleyman86 0 points1 point ago

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I was about to ask why it was an astronaut... Then I said the key out loud and was like OOOOOOH I get it. I'm slow this evening.

[–]Calber4 0 points1 point ago

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I want this as a background. Is there a larger version?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Can not unthink.

[–]pdubbz 0 points1 point ago

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this would be a sweet woot shirt.

[–]kiwibonga 0 points1 point ago

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At the keyboard? At the... Oh. Okay.

[–]Scoldering 0 points1 point ago

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On an astronaut's keyboard it's simply called the bar.

[–]kjaonline 0 points1 point ago

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OMG THIS IS SO WITTY! (caps, bold and italics for emphasis)

[–]Capolan 0 points1 point ago

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This may be one of the greatest things Reddit has ever shown me.

for some reason i cannot stop laughing at this. i actually laughed out loud, numerous times.

thank you.

[–]throwaway5002 0 points1 point ago

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A special circle of hell...

[–]wauter 0 points1 point ago

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Somebody will/should obviously put a sad keanu somewhere in there.

(surprised it didn't happen yet actually, guess reddit isn't that predictable after all, I am proud of you guys!)

[–]the_cereal_killer 0 points1 point ago

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at the... leerzeichen?

[–]IDontGetTheJokeAbove 0 points1 point ago

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Hang out at the keyboard?

[–]testimoni 0 points1 point ago

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but there is only one astronaut there.

[–]Peddyslate 0 points1 point ago

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That is the daftest thing I've seen and heard in a long long while. Give me back my minute.

[–]seaweedsurfer 0 points1 point ago

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is it bad that when I saw the title... i was expecting it to finish with Y-M-C-A!!!!

[–]rommi0 0 points1 point ago

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"Space key" is the name of my next bar!

[–]ZidTheOne 0 points1 point ago

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Is there a wallpaper version of this? :)

[–]Ender06 0 points1 point ago

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You know the reason why he's lying on top of the bar? Not because hes drunk, but because that pun hurt so bad hes about ready to throw up...

[–]NoSalt 0 points1 point ago

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I really need to be able to up-vote this more than once.

[–]ketin0 0 points1 point ago

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spacebar.com... awesome telnet based chat. I used to be a regular in college but it's always a great group and I thought the image was a reference at first, no such luck.

Edit: Seems it's closed... another fond part of my life gone.

[–]DukeLeto2 0 points1 point ago

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They do hang out at bars, I can tell you that. It's either Sherlock's or Boondoggles.

[–]SMG_07 0 points1 point ago

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OMG the space bar NOW I GET IT xD

[–]ex_ample 0 points1 point ago

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EPIC PUN BRO

[–]fishyman 0 points1 point ago

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This is a design in a contest on threadless. you can view the original and vote for it here: http://www.threadless.com/submission/302627/Spacebar

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Okay, you're right, this is a funny picture. It's almost like it should be on a shirt. So I open the Googles and type "threadless space bar" and you know what? I find out that it's a fucking shirt. You're so desperate for meaningless link karma that you fucking cut the image off the website and add it to imgur to take away its context and deprive threadless and the artist of the opportunity for sales.

Like it? Go vote on threadless to get it printed.

[–]bh3 0 points1 point ago

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A tad aggressive/obnoxious, but correct. Even if the guy just had a copy of it on his computer, should still have done some background research (though the intent behind it might be a bit less severe as you made it sound). Inconsiderate yes, repulsive, not necessarily.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]silent_p 11 points12 points ago

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You're jerking it to this?

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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You aren't?