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WTF

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top 200 commentsshow all 410

[–]Bardo77n 697 points698 points ago

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Laziness is just an inaccurately derogatory term for efficiency.

[–]burnblue 98 points99 points ago

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Saving this. Is it your original quote?

[–]TheMauveAvenger 486 points487 points ago

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He's not going to respond to you due to his overwhelming efficiency.

[–]voyd4 61 points62 points ago

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Please describe the feeling you get when you wake up and remember that you're a badass.

[–]jcare 48 points49 points ago

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I don't even get out of bed cause I'm so badass.

[–]bscoder 30 points31 points ago

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A real badass doesn't go to bed in the first place.

[–]jerstud56 50 points51 points ago

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They go to floor.

[–]louink 37 points38 points ago

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Funny, I do sleep on the floor. But I'm no badass, I'm just poor.

[–]jabb0 25 points26 points ago

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Being poor can be bad ass.

[–]olganair 9 points10 points ago

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But... ah fuck this I'll drop to the floor.

[–]Fugu 7 points8 points ago

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You're all amateurs. Floor? Keyboard. Ah fuck it I'm too lazodhiuchv

[–]megaman5 9 points10 points ago

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[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

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Your test has failed, I'm afraid: 1, and 2 courtesy of tjragon and friends.

[–]Bardo77n 1 point2 points ago

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Yeah, it just popped into my mind.

[–]Black_Apalachi 4 points5 points ago

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http://www.quotegarden.com/laziness.html - Fourth one down is a more concise rewording of the same thing.

[–]Estoye[S] 31 points32 points ago

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Could you just tell us it what it says instead of making us click on the link and scroll down?

[–]runwithme 11 points12 points ago

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Efficiency is intelligent laziness. ~David Dunham

[–]sittingcow 19 points20 points ago

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Seriously. I don't have that kind of time.

[–]trx430ex 3 points4 points ago

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Speaking of saving time, (could we start) posting a time stamp, after every YouTube link?, so I know if I am going to be there for 20 seconds, or if it goes 5 minutes,, naaaaa!! I'll pass,,,, thank you..

[–]Cyrius 1 point2 points ago

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That sounds like a request for the admins.

[–]tjragon 2 points3 points ago

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Efficiency is intelligent laziness. ~David Dunham

You can thank procrastination. Usually I am a pretty efficient guy.

[–]IcedTeaPlz 18 points19 points ago

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My belief is that if I can get it correctly accomplished with less steps it is brilliance, not laziness.

[–]Estoye[S] 30 points31 points ago

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It's task parkour!

[–]cromethus 35 points36 points ago

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I first heard this as "Lazy is a four letter word for efficient."

[–]hearforthepuns 41 points42 points ago

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So saying "lazy" is just being efficient.

[–]mabelfoo 9 points10 points ago

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Exactly, and saying "meh" is even more efficient.

[–]hearforthepuns 11 points12 points ago

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eh.

[–]Norwerishcan 8 points9 points ago

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.

[–]DogXe 2 points3 points ago

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There's no need to take that tone!

[–]Matyre 1 point2 points ago

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!

[–]eegabooga 1 point2 points ago

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well done.

[–]Epistaxis 9 points10 points ago

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Well, I know it's a cliché to do this, but it seemed necessary this time: http://i.imgur.com/IBSUD.jpg

[–]robertbobbobby 10 points11 points ago

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Laziness is the mother of invention

[–]kirakun 6 points7 points ago

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Not to mention it's a desirable trait in a [perl] programmer.

[–]MouthBreather 4 points5 points ago

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Necessity is a mother.

[–]yapsalot00 5 points6 points ago

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Laziness is the deadbeat father

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]hypernova2121 14 points15 points ago

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this is the best quote ever. why? fuck off im tired

[–]ndaprophet 14 points15 points ago

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Laziness is

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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...eating oven chips right out of the bag, frozen, until you puke all over yourself?

[–]megaman5 1 point2 points ago

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oven chips?

[–]naranjas 1 point2 points ago

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So you mean that when I was young and I used to sit around playing video games my mom was actually calling me an efficient piece of shit?

[–]thetorq 1 point2 points ago

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I'd argue but...

[–]Nicebirdie 285 points286 points ago

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STEP 1: Use unopened door stopper for x time. STEP 2: Return to store for money back when stoppage no longer necessary.

[–]Estoye[S] 310 points311 points ago

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But you'll bankrupt the door stopper rental business!

[–]introspeck 424 points425 points ago

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You wouldn't download a door stopper.

[–]PhilxBefore 253 points254 points ago

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FUCK YOU I WOULD IF I ACTUALLY NEEDED A DOOR STOPPER I GUESS

[–]charliedayman 123 points124 points ago

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I WOULD IF I COULD MAKE COPIES OF A DOORSTOPPER WHERE THE ORIGINAL ONE WAS STILL IN THE STORE.

Fucking DIAA needs to go fuck itself.

[–]VoodooD2 17 points18 points ago

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3D Printing is ruining the Doorstopping business!

[–]Estoye[S] 32 points33 points ago

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There's a Lars Ulrich at the door?

[–]robertbobbobby 22 points23 points ago

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Metallica doorstop

[–]ProfitMoney 42 points43 points ago

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Thats actually what I use their CDs for anyway...

[–]wuzzup 29 points30 points ago

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...thus allowing the sandman to enter....

[–]ProfitMoney 18 points19 points ago

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frysquintingeyes.jpg

[–]I_TALK_LOUD 60 points61 points ago

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YOU WOULDN'T SHOOT A POLICEMAN AND THEN STEAL HIS DOOR STOPPER.

[–]Modiga 25 points26 points ago

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You wouldn't go to the toilet on the policeman's door stopper and then send it to his grieving widow!

[–]fatnino 5 points6 points ago

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it might get stopped up

[–]Spikan 11 points12 points ago

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Okay, well that one is debatable.

[–]bluehazed 5 points6 points ago

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Yeah, not exactly sure about that. It's a bit of a grey area.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]BoonTobias 11 points12 points ago

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I'm in serious need of a door stopper because i've been having nightmares about people breaking into my basement apt. For now all I have are hammers hidden everywhere so if anyone tries, they'll know what time it is.

[–]crake12 4 points5 points ago

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I am assuming this is what you're referring to.

[–]eggo 1 point2 points ago

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here you go man, don't tell anybody I gave that to you.

[–]lisa_lionheart 6 points7 points ago

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[–]ProbablyNotToday 5 points6 points ago

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Wait till they invent replicators. I'll fucking download women and I'll do it with a smile on my face. Now add holodecks and reality can go fuck itself.

[–]bwaugh06 5 points6 points ago

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Yes i would, but only after I download a movie.

[–]Netcob 28 points29 points ago

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I download each movie 10 times so that the MPAA makes 10x the loss! MUHAHAHA

(downloading=stealing, right?)

[–]Dr_Schrodinger 2 points3 points ago

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I copied them 100 times and put them in the same folder!! HAHAHAHA!!

Edit: I only wish I could do that. I only have 80GB free. :P

[–]aeosynth 2 points3 points ago

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If you copied them into the same folder, each successive copy would overwrite the previous one, allowing you infinite copies.

[–]Dr_Schrodinger 1 point2 points ago

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Ah good point.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Damn you, and your puny Hard Disk.

[–]typ901 1 point2 points ago

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If I could download a door stopper I'd use them more.

[–]djarbiter 4 points5 points ago

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I WOULD DOWNLOAD A ROCK.

[–]smokecat20 10 points11 points ago

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I WOULD DOWNLOAD BANDWIDTH AND THEN DELETE IT. BECAUSE I CAN.

[–]ForgettableUsername 16 points17 points ago

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You can't download bandwidth; that doesn't make any sense. It'd be like driving a car around inside another, larger car.

[–]hearforthepuns 35 points36 points ago

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That sounds pretty sweet.

[–]fatnino 22 points23 points ago

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"YO DAWG..."

[–]phaedrusgbe 5 points6 points ago

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But you're okay with downloading a rock?

[–]ForgettableUsername 10 points11 points ago

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Yes, that is perfectly reasonable.

[–]pwndcake 3 points4 points ago

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Yes. I could tie a string around it.

[–]nestingmachine 3 points4 points ago

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That's the idea. Screw Big Doorstopper.

[–]zero_sum 17 points18 points ago

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STEP 3: Profit! Wait, no, come out even. Damn.

[–]bwaugh06 14 points15 points ago

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STEP 4: Have a Sexy Party.

[–]zero_sum 21 points22 points ago

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STEP 5: Use unopened condom for x time. STEP 6: Return to store for money back when stoppage no longer necessary.

[–]WobblyAdam 2 points3 points ago

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Oh, stop it!

[–]BaseballGuyCAA 3 points4 points ago

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Well, you didn't lose any money. And you got the utility of the doorstop for a temporary amount of time. So, technically, yes. Profit.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]Crewiz 39 points40 points ago

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Step 1: Go outside and find a rock about the size of a door stop.

Step 2: Bring inside and place where you want the door to stay open.

Step 3: Train monkeys to joust

Step 4: Profit!

[–]qbxk 17 points18 points ago

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i always wondered what that step 3 was. good to know

[–]Estoye[S] 13 points14 points ago

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And here all along I've been training monkeys to play the oboe. Silly fucking me.

[–]glitchn 3 points4 points ago

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Step 1: Go outside and find a rock about the size of a door stop.

Step 2: Bring inside door stop store and threaten cashier for all of her door stops.

Step 3: Use rock to break open door stop packaging.

Step 4: Profit!

[–]mexicodoug 1 point2 points ago

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Sounds like a hell of a lot of work, man.

[–]drivingjunkie 1 point2 points ago

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Step 1: Go outside and find a rock about the size of a door stop. Step 2: Bring inside door stop store and threaten cashier for all of her door stops. Step 3: Watch wife trip over rock Step 4: Wife leaves you for being a dumbass. Step 5: Profit!

[–]son-of-chadwardenn 1 point2 points ago

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Rocks can scratch wooden floors. It doesn't matter anyway because there has to be something in the house that will work fine.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]son-of-chadwardenn 2 points3 points ago

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Paint, glued on felt? This is a thread about lazyness!

[–]zyzzogeton 5 points6 points ago

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Step 2: cut a hole in the door stop.

[–]Tomble 36 points37 points ago

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Last week I needed a door stop. I cut a wedge out of Jarrah (a lovely, dark hardwood). I glued a rubber bit to the bottom. I sanded it until it was silky smooth, then oiled it to give it a deep lustre. It looked nice, it worked (of course).

That afternoon, I came home to find my dog had chewed it to pieces.

Next time, I'm doing what's in the picture.

[–]brutally_frank 12 points13 points ago

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Relevancy, build-up to anti-climax, then a shared learning. Well done sir.

[–]shatteredmindofbob 60 points61 points ago

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Hey, you can injure yourself opening those things.

This isn't lazy, it's efficient.

[–]co6ra 32 points33 points ago

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Opening what? Doors?

[–]shatteredmindofbob 39 points40 points ago

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No man, those damn plastic packages!

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points ago

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That one's paper. Only the front part is plastic. It's not like those ridiculous ones that you need a chainsaw to open

[–]shatteredmindofbob 2 points3 points ago

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Good point. Of course you can always get this ...AH SHIT!!!

[–]Shadovv 8 points9 points ago

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Some doors should just remain closed.

[–]co6ra 14 points15 points ago

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"You're on a scenic route through a state recreational area known as the human mind. You ask a passer-by for directions, only to find he has no face or something. Suddenly up ahead, a door in the road."

[–]lovethebomb 2 points3 points ago

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"When the doors of perception are cleansed, everything will appear to man as it truly is . . infinite. - Aldous Huxley

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Exactly. It's working as advertised. What more do you want?

[–]robothelvete 22 points23 points ago

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Why would you package a door stopper?

[–]liedel 33 points34 points ago

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it can hang on shelves a lot more easily with the case.

[–][deleted] 29 points30 points ago

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Invalid argument. They could make a small hanging hole.

[–]Wyrm 76 points77 points ago

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In the door stopper itself? That would compromise its structural integrity!

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]dental-plan 16 points17 points ago

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I read this argument as a Dwight Schrute vs Jim Halpert tit-for-tat argument. Entertaining.

[–]flynnski 1 point2 points ago

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Who was which?

[–]Gozdilla 1 point2 points ago

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THAT THING'S OPERATIONAL!

[–][deleted] 17 points18 points ago

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That would compromise the structural integrity of the door stopper.

[–]BillBrasky_ 15 points16 points ago

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But what about the structural integrity?

[–]jpartridge 11 points12 points ago

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It would be compromised.

[–]AlternateKarmaSource 11 points12 points ago

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Wouldn't that compromise the door stopper's structural integrity?

[–]djarbiter 10 points11 points ago

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The structural integrity would be compromised.

[–]darlyn 5 points6 points ago

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There's a chance that it would compromise the stopper's structural integrity.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points ago

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To all the sheep talking about compromising it's structural integrity: it wouldn't. Just put a little protrusion with a hole in it on the back end of the wedge. The above poster is correct, and I'm sure it would be cheaper to manufacture.

[–]chejrw 14 points15 points ago

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You'd still need to find room for the UPC code and all of the "Warning: Do not insert into rectum" labelling required by an overly litigious society.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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True, but a sticker could handle those concerns, no?

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]jbs398 2 points3 points ago*

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Actually, without the case, you might have no idea that it's a DOORSTOP. I mean, it only says "Big Foot" on the doorstop itself, it could be anything from bigfoot's toenail to a device only intended for rectal use.

In all seriousness: I think it's so they can put a giant yellow background and regale you with its multitudinous features that distinguish it from other doorstops. After all would you purchase the ugly grey wedge in a bin or the ugly grey wedge in a package that boldly states 'Extra-wide "footprint" holds door securely in any positon'

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points ago

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Advertising space.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Because customers are retarded.

[–]akbc 1 point2 points ago

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for branding.

[–]mrpickles 11 points12 points ago

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It worked, didn't it?

[–]jscoppe 13 points14 points ago

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Phew.. it wasn't me! :D

[–]A_Real_Jercough 6 points7 points ago

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Everyone knows that collectible door stoppers are worth more unopened.

[–]indycysive 2 points3 points ago

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This is a bad collector then, because this will surely dent the box!

[–]A_Real_Jercough 1 point2 points ago

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I hear he bought two door stoppers. One to "use" and one "mint" (also with no store price sticker) which he stored safely away in a climate-controlled, fireproof environment. As his "used" stopper is still unopened in the package its still worth more than an opened used stopper. He's hardcore.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points ago

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That is all fine and good if your intention is to keep the door open an inch.

[–]desmondo 6 points7 points ago

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why'd he take it out of the bag?

[–]Zalaxy 11 points12 points ago

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That could be the door of a retail store. That might explain why a possible employee would have used an unopened product.

[–]Estoye[S] 8 points9 points ago

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Nope. It's the stairwell to my very corporate office building.

[–]flashingcurser 5 points6 points ago

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I doubt fire inspectors like seeing doors propped open in fire rated egresses.

[–]motorpoodle 1 point2 points ago

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That nasty carpet on the wall is just screaming "corporate".

[–]Estoye[S] 2 points3 points ago

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I'm pretty sure that's insulation.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points ago

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Asbestos just screams "corporate".

[–]Volatile36 3 points4 points ago

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It's not asbestos, it's cotton candy. Get back to work.

[–]norsurfit 5 points6 points ago

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[–]scoops22 3 points4 points ago

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That's just an example of not giving a fuck.

[–]itscool 19 points20 points ago

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the doorstop probably cant fit under the door. so its not laziness after all, its ingenious

[–]misterFR33ZE 20 points21 points ago

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But then there's the thing where just about anything of similar size could be used as the door stopper... for free.

[–]fortuitous5 6 points7 points ago

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I need sunglasses to shade myself from the glare of your rationality and reason.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]BoogerPresley 2 points3 points ago

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We were so poor that my mom gave me this for xmas and told me it was a Wedge Antilles action figure.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points ago

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Working as intended!

[–]the_school_bully 2 points3 points ago

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But opening new products is the best part!

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]Ledatru 2 points3 points ago

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Door stoppers are made to keep doors wide open... not just to have it ajar. This thing is about as useful as any other small thing, including your shoe or even a pencil.

Door stoppers are for when doors get annoying and there's like 30 people going in and out of the doorway and they don't want to touch the door anymore

[–]pomegranati 4 points5 points ago

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I remember these things back in high school. Whenever my teacher leaves the classroom, we'd close the door and put the stopper underneath the door so the teacher couldn't open the door. It was good times.

[–]totally_original 23 points24 points ago

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I don't think this is supposed to be a nostlagia post. People still use door stoppers. This is not a throwback to the 80s.

[–]MananWho 21 points22 points ago

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I remember the good old days when people didn't criticize me for remembering the good old days.

[–]zomgwtfbbq 2 points3 points ago

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You get an upboat just for writing "80s" without any extraneous apostrophes.

[–]totally_original 9 points10 points ago

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thank's!

[–]darkrock 1 point2 points ago

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That's a fire door, and it's illegal to do that. Get that outta there.

[–]evilpoptart 1 point2 points ago

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you put garfield to shame.

[–]Chilidawg83 1 point2 points ago

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That just gave me a pretty good laugh. Mostly because I work with people that would do that.

[–]gdm9000 1 point2 points ago

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I once lived in an apartment where the landlord simply painted over a Stickup air freshener stuck to the wall rather than remove it. Now that's lazy.

[–]matts2 2 points3 points ago

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No, he paid painters to paint but not to prep. So they painted but did not prep.

[–]cleepa 1 point2 points ago

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You can't argue with results.

[–]Like_I_Give_a_Fuck 1 point2 points ago

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whatever...

[–]bonesapart 1 point2 points ago

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That is bafflingly lazy.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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That is in the running for this year.This was last years winner

[–]goofdup 1 point2 points ago

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This is simply a man with a fear of commitment. What if he wants to take it back to the store? Much easier if it hasn't been opened.

[–]ladykba 1 point2 points ago

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BRILLIANT! use doorstop. when funds are low, return to store. BRILLIANT!

[–]Shiggityx2 1 point2 points ago

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We'll never know who was too lazy to comment or even click the link. Cheers to our brethren who saw the title, thought "yep", and are now stewing in their own sloth and apathy.

[–]daninjapan 1 point2 points ago

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For rectal use only.

[–]tazebot 1 point2 points ago

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Or pure efficiency

[–]akbc 1 point2 points ago

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it did stop the door.

[–]futchumang 1 point2 points ago

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This is the thing that people just can't seem to get their head around..

sure the door seeks closure, but that stopper has a case.

[–]piroplex 1 point2 points ago

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I was looking for the "For Rectal Use Only" sticker

[–]storkpatrol 2 points3 points ago

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tosh just posted this on facebook :)

[–]MrDooDoo 1 point2 points ago

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2 lazy to type how i really feel about this...

[–]jhontheunmortal 1 point2 points ago

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2lz2tiphoirlyfllbotdis

[–]1800FREESEX 1 point2 points ago

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Laziness? No, that's efficiency! Steps saved!

[–]linds360 1 point2 points ago

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Front page again man? I gotta step it up.

runs and takes more cat pictures

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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I was expecting a Haskell joke.

[–]oftenon1 0 points1 point ago

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atleast their walls are made out of rice crispy treats....!!

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]kwh 0 points1 point ago

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I was planning on returning it when I was done with it.

[–]TehRia 0 points1 point ago

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I approve of this degree of laziness. indeed.

[–]leap2 0 points1 point ago

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If you take it out of the package, how are you supposed to return it when you're done using it?

[–]ArcadianReverie 0 points1 point ago

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It's not laziness--it's perfectly packaged and returnable for when you run out of booze money.

[–]helcite 0 points1 point ago

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Maybe we should place the blame for laziness squarely where it belongs. . . On the shoulders of the doorstop packaging designer.

[–]WTFNVM 0 points1 point ago

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More importantly, who lives in the mud hut??

[–]heyfella[!] 0 points1 point ago

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i will make my millions selling door starters!

[–]Xet 0 points1 point ago

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Pure laziness would've been taking the nearest weighty object at hand and jamming it into the door.

This image involves going to the store to buy said doorstopper.

[–]1WithTheUniverse 0 points1 point ago

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A 10 year old computer is a better and cheaper door stop.

[–]duhballs 0 points1 point ago

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this method is environmentally friendly! kind of like using all the parts of the buffalo.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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The wings are the best part of the buffalo. I just toss the rest.

[–]TheMightyIrishman 0 points1 point ago

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wouldnt pure laziness be just finding something around the house to stop the door?

i prefer the Peter Gibbons method by taking the door off the hinges with a power drill

[–]serenamckellen 0 points1 point ago

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I think it actually works better this way... 6 inches of door-openness vs 1.5 it's genius!