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top 200 commentsshow all 381

[–]Danomatic85 287 points288 points ago

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In other news, cat nip and hippies were seized in a parallel deminsion.

[–][deleted] 34 points35 points ago

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He saw beans, lots of beans, Lots of beans, lots of beans, Oh beans, lots of beans, Lots of beans, lots of beans, yeah yeah!

[–]dontmindmeimdrunk 18 points19 points ago

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I have no idea how that was even remotely relevant, but thank you so much for reminding me of Magical Trevor.

[–]leakingRectum 17 points18 points ago

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Oh, everyone loves Magical Trevor!

[–]w00tingspree 7 points8 points ago

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Because the tricks that he does are ever so clever!

[–]boristsr 6 points7 points ago

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Look at him now, disappearing a cow!

[–]oh_noes 3 points4 points ago

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Where is the cow, headed right now?

[–]epadafunk 5 points6 points ago

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i thought it was "where is the cow hidden right now?"

[–]justwhoiam 1 point2 points ago

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I always understood it to be headed right now - perhaps magical trevor knew he would be sending him through parallel worlds.

[–]Dyvatos 3 points4 points ago

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"parallel dimension"

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–][deleted] 43 points44 points ago

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Wrong. Everyone knows a catnip is when your nipple is shaped like a cat.

[–]Benlarge1 8 points9 points ago

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Now I need mind bleach :(

[–]Dragon_DLV 14 points15 points ago

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[–]Benlarge1 6 points7 points ago

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ahhhhhh that did the trick

[–]whiplash000 74 points75 points ago

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BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

throws tomato at Revo84

[–]ChaosBrigadier 18 points19 points ago

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As long as they're organic.

[–]JMaboard 27 points28 points ago

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BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! HIPPIE!!!!

throws non-organic tomato at ChaosBrigadier

[–][deleted] 15 points16 points ago

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I was saying Boo-urns.

[–]TangLikeAnAstronaut 3 points4 points ago

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We like Roy! We like Roy!

[–][deleted] 110 points111 points ago

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Also seized in this drug bust, a Nintendo DS Lite, 5 lb bags of rice, and strangely enough an external hard drive loaded with episodes of a show called Dr. Who.

[–]Greg02 69 points70 points ago

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Firefly.

[–][deleted] 70 points71 points ago

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Not enough to take up an external hard drive.

[–][deleted] 24 points25 points ago

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Full Blu-Ray ISOs plus Serenity could be up to 200gb.

That's only the size of the entire old series.

[–]aboda7es 20 points21 points ago

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wait, wait... old series? IS THERE A NEW SERIES THAT I DON"T KNOW ABOUT?

[–]l0phty 11 points12 points ago

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That heartless bastard. I just made a mad dash over to Wiki, only to have my soul crushed again.

[–]csh_blue_eyes 2 points3 points ago

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Old series of Doctor Who.

[–]hseldon10 2 points3 points ago

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2TBs hard drive. Come on!

[–]bodahn 2 points3 points ago

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Steve Holt!

[–]themehpatrol 1 point2 points ago

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Holy GOD, you know how to troll here.

[–]leonhyral 3 points4 points ago

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I hate you. Why the reminder?

[–]Aqualung90 2 points3 points ago

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Nerdiest retort to ever make me cry. WHY FOX WHY!?

[–]lucidatype 11 points12 points ago

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I think you mean Doctor Who.

Dr. Who is an Asian guy who plays first base on the hospital softball team.

[–]bonkdaddy 12 points13 points ago

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reddit eats rice? i was unaware of this common trait. i eat rice,beans, frozen veggies and quinoa everyday :D

[–]1esproc 65 points66 points ago

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You should try cooking the frozen veggies. It'll change your life!

[–]bonkdaddy 32 points33 points ago

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I took your advice and you were right! Unfortunately, it was a change for the worse: my wife left me, taking our cats with her. T_T

[–]bkbeezy 15 points16 points ago

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And your weed?

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points ago

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Noooooooooooooooooooooo!

[–]phire 2 points3 points ago

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All that in less than an hour, Impressive.

[–]MyPantsAreWet 13 points14 points ago

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Jasmine rice beats the shit out of that other rice.

[–]paulderev 7 points8 points ago

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My basmati rice beats the shit out of your jasmine rice.

[–]DANMEGA 1 point2 points ago

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Sticky rice... although time consuming it is the best.

Edit: No, I have no fucking clue what it's really called, and like hell am I gunna go and find out.

[–]andan 2 points3 points ago

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My wife made sushi rice the other day, but -- here's the thing -- we didn't eat it with sushi. (Waits for the collective gasp, then continues.) I can attest to the sheer awesomeness of it as a side dish.

[–]CyborgHostage 9 points10 points ago

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The word sushi actually refers to the rice, so you did! :)

[–]andan 1 point2 points ago

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Whoa! TIL that sushi refers to the rice, and that CyborgHostage is awesome.

[–]lookingchris 2 points3 points ago

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Okay, I guess now's as good a time as any to share an eccentricity of mine. About four months ago, I switched from using rice as the "bed" for my food, and instead now use cottage cheese. They're actually of semi-similar texture and the cottage cheese is high protein instead of high carbs - and it actually adds a little more flavor! Perfect for putting some chicken marsala on top, Thai beef salad, etc...

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points ago

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I resemble that remark. Except it is a 25 lb bag of rice and Doctor Who as well as Torchwood. I'm actually eating a bowl of beans and rice for brunch as I type this.

[–]entropikone 7 points8 points ago

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This, plus The IT Crowd

[–]KarmaKaiser 13 points14 points ago

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HOW CAN YOU FORGET YOUR TRUE LOVE REDDIT!?

WHERE IS THE WIRE?

WHERE!?

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points ago

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Upvoted for The Wire.

Don't forget Rome and Deadwood too.

[–]Gerrymander 4 points5 points ago

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Also: Breaking Bad.

[–]entropikone 1 point2 points ago

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truthfully (probably get downvoted) i've never seen the wire

[–]KarmaKaiser 4 points5 points ago

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Admitting you have a problem is the first step to treatment!

[–]Balfe 1 point2 points ago

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Neither have I. There aren't many of us left.

[–]reginaldshoe 2 points3 points ago

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Perhaps that should tell you something?

Like maybe you should start watching it?

[–]csh_blue_eyes 1 point2 points ago

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"You see the driver hooks a function by patching the system call table so it's not safe to unload it unless another thread is going to jump in there and do its stuff and you don't want to end up in the middle of invalid memory... Hello?"

[–]CWrightBillz 1 point2 points ago

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Haaaaaaaa. Wait, that could be my house.

[–]aliarcy 34 points35 points ago

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Marijuana and cats? I'm pretty sure I know the person that was arrested.

[–][deleted] 23 points24 points ago

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[–]chriswastaken 13 points14 points ago

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I first thought you meant Bubbles and was throughly confused.

[–]Mis-shapes 16 points17 points ago

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Hey McNutty

[–]crazyfool800 16 points17 points ago

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What the fuck did I do?

[–]yoyl 5 points6 points ago

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That was neither of the ones that I expected.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

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I am disappointed not to see Bubbles here

[–]IHaveNoNipples 4 points5 points ago

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I was actually kind of expecting Bubbles.

[–]pkm2232 1 point2 points ago

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same

[–]xk1138 7 points8 points ago

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Ricky?

[–]tonkpils 3 points4 points ago

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More than likey it was bubbles given that cats where involved

[–]daisy0808 2 points3 points ago

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Fuck off, Julian.

[–]play3393 1 point2 points ago

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This happened in Philly, not Canada...unless Bubbles moved?

[–]coatThtasTooPuffy 94 points95 points ago

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A pot trailer is no place for a kitty

[–]nerfy007 30 points31 points ago

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That dope trailer was a place for all kitties!

[–]Maverick5809 51 points52 points ago

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I just need one of your kitties to guard my dope plants, bubbs.

[–]cramerica 8 points9 points ago

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Bubbles: [afer smelling a kitty that spent the night in ricky's car] Ricky! Smell him! He smells like cigarettes!

Ricky: [Smells kitty] Yeah he does smells like cigarettes a bit I guess.

Bubbles: Kitties aren't supposed to smell like cigareets, they're supposed to smell like kitties!

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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That's the comment I was looking for! :D

[–]Chevellephreak 16 points17 points ago

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Kitties are supposed to smell like kitties :(

[–]xecosine 6 points7 points ago

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He smells like cigrits!

[–]Boyblunder 6 points7 points ago

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I still laugh my ass off every time someone calls cannabis "Dope".

[–]korravai 1 point2 points ago

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My friend's mom was letting us borrow her car for the weekend and it was soo hard to keep a straight face as she says "No drinking and driving and no smoking that dope in my car!" I'm laughing now just remembering it.

[–]Boyblunder 5 points6 points ago

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Last time my mother told me "Don't smoke dope." I responded with "Heroin really isn't my thing, mom."

[–]ThatOtherGirl[!] 2 points3 points ago

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Dope is for dopes!

[–]idddisw -1 points0 points ago

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I thought weed was dope? Cause THC is similar to dopamine.

[–]Boyblunder 2 points3 points ago

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Nope. Dope is Heroin and something can be used to refer to other mainlined drugs.

Typically though, to those uneducated when it comes to drugs, call every drug "dope". That's why it's funny.

[–]dave124 5 points6 points ago

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Yeah, hilarious. Like everything else when you're high on dope.

[–]Boyblunder 2 points3 points ago

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Teehee.

[–]nerfy007 1 point2 points ago

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[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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I used to work in a pipe machine shop for the oil industry. The different going into the field dopes (as opposed to the storage dope which isn't bad) is some of the nastiest grease in the world. It's a thick nasty black sludge that just gets everywhere even if you're careful. Though it was sort of funny when I was 18 hearing everyone around me talking about dope all day.

[–]Boyblunder 1 point2 points ago

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That is informative as fuck.

[–]toadkicker 4 points5 points ago

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Really a kitty trailer is no place for pot. Those fucker's will nom your plants faster than a squirrel will.

[–]doctea 7 points8 points ago

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Not to mention fucking cat hairs in the bud.

[–]GeorgeForemanGrillz 9 points10 points ago

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Theres two things mafuckers got to know about J to the R O C. Straight up ya know what I'm sayin'? First of all, I spin more rhymes than a Lazy Susan and I'm Innocent until my guilt is proven, peace! Representin' Sunnyvale straight tha fuck up!

[–]TarmacSTi 7 points8 points ago

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HHHHEEEEEEEEERE KITTY KITTY GUM GITTY GITTY GOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

( O )( o ) <-- Bubbles, not boobs.

[–]entropikone 7 points8 points ago

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bubbles with different sized nipples? that's just strange

[–]TarmacSTi 5 points6 points ago

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I knew this was going to be the first reply. I just knew it.

Fuck off, Mr. Lahey.

[–]KyussHead 1 point2 points ago

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He smells like dope and ciggarits ricky!

[–]BordrGuy108 1 point2 points ago

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Whoa, chill bro... You know you can't raise your voice like that when the lion's here.

[–]Cathbar 138 points139 points ago

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Oh hell yeah Rob Jennings

[–]Etab 32 points33 points ago

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I love the Channel 6 Action News theme song!

dun-dun, dun-dun, dun-de-de-dum, du-du-du-duuuuuum

[–]crashthenet44 21 points22 points ago*

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Channel 6 News is still the best of the big 3 in Philly. Long live Jim Gardner, the Green Grocer, Dave Roberts and the Action News smiley face weather board.

Edit: Can't forget Gary Pappa.

[–]Potatoguy123 9 points10 points ago

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Nope you can't forget Gary Papa.

[–]Bronkko 1 point2 points ago

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I thought he died. I may be wrong.

[–]Marxshmarx 3 points4 points ago

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Try to forget the Don Polec's world icon. Now you can't.

[–]Marxshmarx 4 points5 points ago

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When I was a kid in Reading the opening credits made me want to live near the Art Museum so badly because it looked like so much was going on down there. Then I grew up, and I did live by the Art Museum in Fairmount, and it was awesome. Thank you Action News.

[–]osin144 1 point2 points ago

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Hey boyertown right here! We're practically neighbors!

[–]urbane_turtle 1 point2 points ago

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move closer to your world my friends and you'll see

[–]jdavis301 156 points157 points ago

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I'm Rob Jennings?

[–]neshcom 19 points20 points ago

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No, you are skeleton jelly!

[–]Y_YOU_GOT_DOWNVOTED 3 points4 points ago

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I am stumped as to why you were downvoted. I fully support skeleton jelly becoming a meme.

[–]entropikone 3 points4 points ago

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I havn't heard skelly jelly in a while though...

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Yeah, it's been like 4 weeks man, I don't even remember what food tasted like back then...

[–]Fyzzle 19 points20 points ago

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I hope you get the upvotes without someone having to explain this.

[–]CornFedHonky 14 points15 points ago

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But I want to know what's going on too... =\

[–]hackysack 24 points25 points ago

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Can I upvote and get an explanation? Pretty please?

[–]ChaosBrigadier 48 points49 points ago*

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I think it's a reference to Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy, starring Will Ferrel, where Will Ferrel plays Ron Burgundy, an anchorman.

At the end of a broadcast, Ron usually says "You stay classy San Diego. I'm Ron Burgundy", but someone put a question mark on the teleprompter forcing him to read it as, "You stay classy San Diego. I'm Ron Burgundy?"

[–]hackysack 18 points19 points ago

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Ooh, I feel like an idiot now. I spent 5 minutes searching "I'm Rob Jennings?" on youtube.

[–]ChaosBrigadier 9 points10 points ago

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I actually just watched the movie for the first time the other day. I think I might have been sent by God to explain this to you.

Also, I can't get "Afternoon Delight" out of my head.

[–]paulderev 7 points8 points ago

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If you watch Steve Carell and Paul Rudd's faces the whole song, you laugh harder.

[–]Fyzzle 5 points6 points ago

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Great movie, I didn't like it when I first saw it. But every time I watch it, it gets better.

[–]SuperCoupe 10 points11 points ago

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Heh. I upvoted with no explanation just because of your comment....

[–]GradysGhost 1 point2 points ago

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I upvoted because every news anchor lifts their voice on their last name, and it cracks me up.

[–]noiamskeletonjelly 4 points5 points ago

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[–]shiner_man 16 points17 points ago

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Jim Gardner > Rob Jennings. Dude's been rocking the mustache forever.

EDIT: Holy crap! That pictures looks like they modeled Ron Burgundy off of him.

[–]CyberianSun 9 points10 points ago

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Ron Burgundy was based off of Jim Gardner, If that doesn't tell you how fucking epic the man is I don't know what to tell you.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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[–]Bronkko 2 points3 points ago

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got drunk with jim gardner once. hes a tiny but very thirsty man.

[–]dubbel 19 points20 points ago

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I know that guy! And when I say know him, I mean, he's done the weekend news on channel 6 since before I was born...

[–]aalabiso 38 points39 points ago

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Go Philly Redditors!

[–][deleted] 24 points25 points ago

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Fuck yeah philly!

[–]solid152 6 points7 points ago

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phillyyyyy

[–]fanoftheshow 3 points4 points ago

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[–]killercacti 2 points3 points ago

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also delaware.

[–]Gizank 2 points3 points ago

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w00t from Wilmington!

[–]flydog2 7 points8 points ago*

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Move closer to your world my friend, and you'll see.

[–]Gizank 3 points4 points ago*

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You can find many examples of old WPVI/Channel 6/Philly Action News intros through the years on youtube. I'm at work so I can't confirm this, but I was watching them just a month or so ago. Brought Back a ton of memories. (Lisa Thomas Laury, That News Van Again, etc.)

Google search seems to bear this out.

*edit* just added a little extra info and specified the Philly part.

[–]pkm2232 3 points4 points ago

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Here's an okay example from 1985

Except at the end, Rob Jennings is there...without a mustache! Horror!

[–]mrwig 5 points6 points ago

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And hasn't aged in equally as long.

[–]vveneziani 5 points6 points ago

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Action News in Philly for the win.

[–]Contradiction11 2 points3 points ago

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Rob Jennings is no James Gardner.

[–]Q3Km518 1 point2 points ago

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Cntrl F "Rob Jennings" YES!!!!!!

[–][deleted] 23 points24 points ago

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DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUUUN DUN DUNNA DUN DUN!!

[–]Etab 7 points8 points ago

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It's cool because I know the exact music you're thinking about.

[–]seagramsextradrygin 2 points3 points ago

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dun dun dun dun dun dun dun DADA DADA DA

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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Yours is better....

[–]slinky317 1 point2 points ago

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Move closer to your world my friend... and you will seeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

[–]phillymatt 1 point2 points ago

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[–]A_Whale_Biologist 1 point2 points ago

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Haha bitch is in the kitchen all day, but they put her in a business suit so as not to seem sexist.

[–]illegible 41 points42 points ago

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Hide your pot, hide your kittens...

[–]ragley 26 points27 points ago

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we gon find you

[–][deleted] 18 points19 points ago

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cuz they raiding errbody out heeuh

[–]KarmaN0T 13 points14 points ago

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At least they didn't find the bacon, we were saving that.

[–]evilbeatfarmer 6 points7 points ago

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Well, obviously they kept the bacon for themselves and ate it.

[–]malnourish 15 points16 points ago

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I feel uncomfortable with pigs cannibalizing.

[–]Alia_of_the_Knife 1 point2 points ago

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fred?! what the hell are you doing here fred?!!

[–]osin144 29 points30 points ago

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Oh hey, it's Philly!

[–]floydzilla 2 points3 points ago

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re% !!!

[–]osin144 1 point2 points ago

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I'm completely unaware of what this means, could you?

[–]floydzilla 4 points5 points ago

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nerdcore for "represent": re + percent sign (%) :)

but yes, Philly in da houzzz!!

[–]clipmann 29 points30 points ago

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That is an alarming piece of mews.

[–]Hoobam 10 points11 points ago

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Meow don't start this again.

[–]Aqualung90 12 points13 points ago

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I herb that people dislike pun threads, so let's paws and think about this.

[–]Balfe 10 points11 points ago

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I dunno, I'm feline fine about this particular pun thread.

[–]TheSocraticApproach 5 points6 points ago

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fellows, fellows... hash anyone seen my mewrijuana?

Edit: damn, that was a terrible pun. Stick to sarcasm.

[–]cowpetter 1 point2 points ago

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I cat believe you are still making puns.

[–]hamtronix 9 points10 points ago

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Here is the story, Cat's clearly can't be trusted anymore, what will these little devils get into next meth labs, crack?

http://abclocal.go.com/wpvi/story?section=news/local&id=7586972

[–]bardlo 4 points5 points ago

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an unknown number of marijuana plants and cats

I love that, it could be one cat and one plant.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points ago

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Street value: $20 million

[–]bardlo 4 points5 points ago

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A plant and a $19,999,900 cat.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Haha its funny because thats like 5 minutes away from me.

That being said, none of this is surprising

[–]whooooshh 8 points9 points ago

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wait, so how do you know he was a redditor?

[–]ethomp 3 points4 points ago

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whooo-AHDAMNIT!!

[–]thebuccaneersden 5 points6 points ago

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This goes to prove that catnip is a gateway drug.

[–]Sure16 13 points14 points ago

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Why in the fuck would they take away the mans cats?

Obviously the cats would havea better life with someone they already knew and trusted then some random person, thats even if the cats are going to a new home.

IF anything, marijuana provides a better home for animals. I know I for one LOVE petting/feeding/doing anything with my animals while I'm high.

[–]JessePinkman 31 points32 points ago

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But that doesn't mean your animals don't get sick of you explaining why video games were better when you were a kid. Again.

[–]bardlo 2 points3 points ago

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They don't give a fuck.

[–]doggod 3 points4 points ago

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meowajuana.

[–]durants 5 points6 points ago

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Heh, your pic made the Huffington Post.

[–]marijuana_and_cats 14 points15 points ago

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On the advice of my lawyer, I have no comment at this time.

[–]giantsfan134 5 points6 points ago

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redditor for 36 minutes

Ahh, fuck it. Upvote!

[–]Etab 7 points8 points ago

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upvoted for Rob Jennings

[–]ellemnopee 3 points4 points ago

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Yeah Philly!

[–]demon_ix 3 points4 points ago

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Fuuuuuuuuck!!!!! I should have flushed those cats as soon as I heard the knock on the door!!!!

[–]dsully215 2 points3 points ago

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There goes that Action News van again! (Best news in Philadelphia)

[–]CyberianSun 1 point2 points ago

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Best news period. I work up the street from them and their new studio is awesome looking!

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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Has cheesing been made illegal too?

[–]CyberianSun 2 points3 points ago

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[–]noseeme 2 points3 points ago

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Shit, Philadelphia's Action News... That could have been me! D:

[–]AlanFord 1 point2 points ago

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It's not his house. It's his mother's house.

[–]Custodian_of_Oa 1 point2 points ago

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This is the worst thing to happen to anyone ever. -Mark

[–]mrpickles 1 point2 points ago

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When did cats become illegal?!

Quick! Write your congressman! Can we get 4chan on this?

[–]Vole85 1 point2 points ago

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At first I was like :O but then I was like :D

[–]Illadelphian 1 point2 points ago

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This happened in Philly? Someone have the article?

[–]kefs 1 point2 points ago

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Oh Snot.. I love how you sit waiting just inside my nostrils for the perfect reddit moment to unleash your gooness upon my monitor.

[–]A_Whale_Biologist 1 point2 points ago

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Serious question: when someone is arrested, who takes care of their pets? I mean, if they live alone and have no close friends in the area, do the cops just let the animals starve?

[–]parrish74 1 point2 points ago

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Oh no!!!! It's a CATastrophe.

[–]multivoxmuse 1 point2 points ago

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and marijuana-cats

[–]Bukowskaii 1 point2 points ago

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FUCK. THATS WHERE ALL MY WEED AND PUSSY WENT.

[–]snowboarder04 1 point2 points ago

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Who else is waiting for this to show up on Digg with the title: "Newflash! Digger's house raided!" ?
Me. That's who.
J/k, because I don't visit digg :)

[–]TheSocraticApproach 4 points5 points ago

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They're our rivals!

[–]Nukleon 0 points1 point ago

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Maybe they meant khat?

[–]Nukleon 1 point2 points ago

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yay for random downvotes?