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top 200 commentsshow all 259

[–]scoops22 126 points127 points ago

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I hear it was pretty wild back in 1912.

[–]farceur318 345 points346 points ago

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"1912 was an interesting year for the scientific community. We were all just fucking. All day. Fuck fuck fuck. It's a miracle we even managed to get any science done with all the fucking we were doing, twenty-four hours a day."

-Marie Curie

[–]KalamMekhar 209 points210 points ago

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"I love reddit!" -Abraham Lincoln

[–]ro2ert 131 points132 points ago

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"Digg is for losers and geeks, I come to Reddit for the honeys"

F. Scott Fitzgerald

[–]apersonofdoom 165 points166 points ago

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"There's a typo in the Great Gatsby... no, I'm not telling where."

-Adolf Hitler

[–]pavs 65 points66 points ago*

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"Sarah Palin is a very intelligent and smart women." - Barack Obama

[–]qrios 128 points129 points ago*

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""Disregard that, I suck cocks!" - Barack Obama"
--John McCain

[–]bdfortin 24 points25 points ago

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"""Disregard that, I suck cocks!" - Barack Obama""
"— John 'Corporate Blowjob Machine' McCain"
— Quincy Jones

[–]headasplodes 42 points43 points ago

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-Michael Scott

[–][deleted] 26 points27 points ago

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"I uncategorically deny allegations made against me that I did not rape and murder that small girl in 1990. I think I remember her name, too." ~ Glenn L Beck

[–]stormyzim 6 points7 points ago

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STEVE HOLT

[–]coachjimmy 0 points1 point ago

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-Mitch Hedberg

[–]daschande 4 points5 points ago

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[–]oreng 0 points1 point ago

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"That's it; I'm finally getting around to writing that greasemonkey script that upvotes an entire thread"

-- oreng

[–]starkquark 0 points1 point ago

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Please do.

[–]bdfortin 0 points1 point ago

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Just remember, the admins changed the code after the first few scripts so that you can only access the database once a second, otherwise it won't work. So you have to make your script upvote one at a time. Not only that, but they also made it so that if it noticed a script-like pattern it'll try to throw you into a loop by not changing the class of a div, so your script keeps trying to click on that one div and never moves on.

Yeah, they don't like script kiddies.

[–]jeffp12 0 points1 point ago

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"And Alexander wept, for there were no more worlds to conquer, Hans Gruber, Die Hard" - Jack Donaghee

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]pavs 52 points53 points ago

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[–]letelenny 8 points9 points ago

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OH SHIT

[–]mahimahi 1 point2 points ago

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"Adolf, you have given me mein kampf. You ass."
-F. Scott Fitzgerald

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Fuck Fitzgerald. Hemingway, imo.

[–]161803399 0 points1 point ago

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My way or the Hemingway!

[–]LegitDissensus 17 points18 points ago*

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"The uninhibited sex during the wild college years of the 1910's left me with a nasty bacterial infection that would never go away. Had it not been for my experimentation with shrooms during the following Prohibition years, I would never have discovered penicillin in 1928 and I'd still be itching today."

  • Sir Alexander Fleming

[–]Sporkman 24 points25 points ago

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"Ah Yes, I remember 1912 quite well, that was when Marie Curie, myself, and her Husband had a three-way on the bathroom floor during the Nobel peace prize celebration as she had won the medal the previous year and wanted to stick it to the man"- Nikola Tesla

[–]fergusmck 29 points30 points ago

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HA. Nikolai Tesla was asexual and remained a virgin all his life. This quote is probably ahistorical .

You can't try to pull that shit off in my internet. You have nowhere to hide.

[–]cloudsdrive 28 points29 points ago

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"if by asexual, you mean a sexual beast, then maybe you are right." -madame curie

[–]nonsensepoem 20 points21 points ago

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True; after all, he did invent the shocker.

[–]antimetric 7 points8 points ago

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But Nikola Tesla was obsessed with the number three; he often felt compelled to walk around a block three times before entering a building, demanded a stack of three folded cloth napkins beside his plate at every meal, etc.

He couldn't possibly turn down a threesome. It just doesn't make sense. ~Guglielmo Marconi

[–]vagijn 1 point2 points ago

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They where still glowing afterwards.

[–]Travis-Touchdown 0 points1 point ago

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Sounds more like the man....

stuck it to her.

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAH

[–]famousmodification 2 points3 points ago

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I think I may have just figured out the source of all STDs... Some horny, careless biologists back in 1912.

[–]Snowden_Cooper 1 point2 points ago

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The vagina is one thing, but don't let us catch you using your breasts for any natural functions...

Breasts Not Meant for Breast-Feeding, Council Rules

[–]Gratuitous_F_Bombs 0 points1 point ago

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Fuck yeah man! Science!

[–]LowGun 26 points27 points ago

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Middle schoolers are going to try and use these quotes they found on the internet in like 20 years in their essays.

[–]yurigoul 0 points1 point ago

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That is why I would like to create a time capsule with a fake account of history just to fuck with people who will find it in the future. Something like http://futurefeedforward.com would also be nice. Alas, it is still impossible to really make one, unless you chisel 0's and 1's in stone, but even then: you also need the software to read it and a computer system being able to run it. Basically the same problem a lot of (government) archives have with all those shelves filled with 8 inch floppies.

[–]grignr 3 points4 points ago

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Reminds me of The 80s: A Look Back at the Tumultuous Decade 1980-1989 published in 1979, which documents these facts:

  • The United Nations declaration of 1983 as the International Year of the Simultaneous Orgasm.
  • The illegalization of meat in 1983, leading to an underground "meathead" culture.
  • The collapse of NBC in 1983 and CBS in 1984, leaving ABC as America's sole television network.

[–]yurigoul 0 points1 point ago

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The 1981 Disney Corporation purchase of the United Kingdom, which was remodeled into a theme park, the United Magic Kingdom.

This seems to a recurring theme in the 70's and 60's. I got this book from a Dutch hippie written in the 60's, and in one of the chapters he calculates what we would get money-wise if we would sell the Netherlands to the Americans and the Germans. His conclusion: every citizen in the Netherlands would never have to work again. So we can just buy ourselves a piece of land in the Saharas or something, take the queen with us and start over.

NB: the author calculated that the Netherlands and everything in it was worth 1,815.7 billion at that time

[–]frukt 7 points8 points ago

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I don't know about 1912, but have you read James Joyce's letters to her girlfriend Nora from 1909?

[–]cinderella_story 2 points3 points ago

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ohhh that's dirty

[–]psyonic 1 point2 points ago

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Do you think so? Well I better not tell you where the lemonade is made...

[–]somuchdeath18 14 points15 points ago*

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shit started wayyyy earlier, good old andy jackson was a hardcore duelist and a pimp to boot.

Throughout his lifetime he fought 103 duels, most of them regarding his wife's honor. You see, Andrew and his wife started hooking up before her divorce had been finalized (she was separated from her husband at the time), and that sort of shit was even more frowned upon back then than it is now. So Andrew Jackson had a lot of people who thought it would be really fucking hilarious to call his wife a dirty whore, leaving him no choice but to duel them and fuck their shit up.

it continues

One such stupid motherfucker was a dumb cock named Charles Dickinson. Dickinson was a big-time gunslinger who had been credited with 26 kills in various pistol duels during his lifetime. Well this jerkwad bet against Jackson on a horse race, and Jackson won, so this guy did what any hothead douchebag would do and called Jackson's wife a voracious cockmonger. Well I've already mentioned that this was a sensitive subject for Andy, and he felt compelled by duty to defend his woman's honor so he challenged Quickdraw McDickface to pistols at dawn on the front lawn of the white house. Andrew Jackson is the only president to have killed someone in a duel at the white house. True story

[–]lordnikkon 2 points3 points ago

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How did this duel happen on the front lawn of the white house if it happened in 1806, Jackson did not become president till 1829? Andrew Jackson

[–]wchutlknbout 2 points3 points ago

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So he could time travel too, is what you're saying?

[–]somuchdeath18 0 points1 point ago

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i probably mixed up which duel it was?

[–]justrain 0 points1 point ago

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that was the only duel that he had killed someone. i think you need to check your sources.

[–]CarbonFiberFootprint 4 points5 points ago

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Dickinson hit Jackson in the chest with the first shot fired, he should have taken better aim...

Jackson's tombstone claimed that he 'killed the bank'.

Now our presidents swear allegiance to Wall Street and never hold more than 60% of the nation's respect.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points ago

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Jackson is my favorite president of all time here's the shortlist why:

Died with several bullets still lodged in his body, which he was well aware of.

Had a pet parrot that after his death had to be removed from his funeral parlor for "squawking" a stream of obscenities.

Threw the craziest Presidential Victory Party ever, inviting basically everyone in the vicinity (due to his populist outlook on the Office) then as people started standing on (and breaking) White House furniture to gain a view of sir Jackson they were forced to move it outside, where a huge bowl of basically liquor fueled the party for a few days and the lawn was littered with drunk "corpses" which were raised a few days later and went back to killing whales or some shit.

First president to survive a presidential assassination attempt.

Friends with Davy Crockett

Apparently my view on his handling of Native Americans was way off (from when I was in elementary) but at least he adopted 1 and was guardian to 8 other children (read: not his own).

Rode a horse and fucked the shit outta bears.

[–]Rentun 5 points6 points ago

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He fucked bears?

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points ago

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Tag-teamed em with Washington. Don't ask any more questions.

[–]kaiise 2 points3 points ago

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i s karate_jesus suddenly my favourite religious figure?

the answer would be , "Fuck yeah!"

[–]crazy_non_sequitur 2 points3 points ago

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Cuba!

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Oh yeah and he bought America Florida from Spain by killing two British guys. Pretty righteous compared to how hard it was to get Texas.

[–]cinderella_story 0 points1 point ago

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Andrew Jackson was a horrid person. You should be ashamed of yourself.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Helping to build a nation that escaped birth order, a midget trying to take over the world, and promised religious freedom give him some positives. No one is perfect.

[–]Th3_C0bra 1 point2 points ago

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It's my understanding that Jackson allowed the man to fire first. Kind of like the original Scarface a la "I take your bullets." He then calmly and steadily aimed and fired, killing his rival. He was later quoted as saying something along the lines of "I would have chased that man to the ends of the Earth to kill him."

[–]Travis-Touchdown 0 points1 point ago

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Andrew Jackson is the king of games.

[–]shiftylonghorn 1 point2 points ago

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It was a titanically amazing time to...be alive...oh.

[–]DrEmmettLathropBrown 0 points1 point ago

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You have no idea...

[–]cone_eater 40 points41 points ago

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I was going to suggest the Wankel, but it can go through lubricants like you wouldn't believe.

[–]diversionmary 2 points3 points ago

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I expected to see a Wankel engine too

[–]TimeForRecess 0 points1 point ago

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But it runs soooo quiet...

[–]pestilence 61 points62 points ago

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It's not in snopes, so it must be true.

[–]Azured 161 points162 points ago

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If I remember correctly, and I do, he was awarded his Ph.D. on the strength of that statement alone.

[–]ani625 79 points80 points ago

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Infact, he used his PHD to test the engine.

[–]cholly 10 points11 points ago

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I always had a Ph.D.: a Pretty Huge Dick

[–]Gyvon 125 points126 points ago

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I see Joke_Explainer asked you to cover for him today.

[–]icanhazredempshen 13 points14 points ago

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I have a PhD too, a pretty huge dissertation to write :'(

[–]harusp3x 0 points1 point ago

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[–]Nyaos 10 points11 points ago

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It's funny how I feel like people didn't have sex in 1912.

[–]msiley 1 point2 points ago

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somebody was since we are all here.

[–]digitalbuzz 26 points27 points ago

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e.e. cummings must have read his work.
http://plagiarist.com/poetry/331/

(my fav e.e. cummings piece of work)

[–]b0lt 22 points23 points ago

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i!!! am not> a fan )*@$ of e.e. cummings

because it

looks like perl

  • except
  • with
  • more
  • line
  • noise

[–]pokute 3 points4 points ago

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Is it wrong to see the e.e. as emoticon?

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

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Yes.

[–]5thEye 10 points11 points ago

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e_e

holy shit! perfect "rolling eyes" emoticon

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points ago

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He just looks either really really tired or really really stoned to me.

[–]mofiru 12 points13 points ago

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"Muffins, yeeeeee... e_e"

[–]cloudsdrive 1 point2 points ago

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ANVIL

e_e

[–]Nilradical 2 points3 points ago

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Holy shit I had to read that out loud in 11th-grade English. Well, okay, somebody in my working group did, but since I had the least shame…

[–]BANANARCHY 2 points3 points ago

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*E. E. Cummings

(his journals and letters agree that he hated the 'ee cummings' crap that people did)

[–]Fimbulfamb 0 points1 point ago

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He wrote it in lowercase himself every once in a while. I don't know which he preferred other people did.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/E_e_cummings#Name_and_capitalization

[–]lightheat 1 point2 points ago

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I think I'm gonna start opening my poetry Word docs in notepad before publishing, too.

[–]Fimbulfamb 0 points1 point ago

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[–]Samuel_Gompers 12 points13 points ago

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1912? Austro-Hungarian....

[–]demorgoron 5 points6 points ago

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I KNOW right!!?? pshaw!

[–]Samuel_Gompers 4 points5 points ago

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ALL GLORY TO HIS MOST NOBLE AND APOSTOLIC MAJESTY KAISER FRANZ JOSEF I!

[–]oreng 0 points1 point ago

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boom

[–]Samuel_Gompers 0 points1 point ago

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Franz Josef I =/= Franz Ferdinand...if that's what you're referring to.

[–]oreng 0 points1 point ago

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I'm going to pretend that I was referring to something else, entirely more esoteric...

[–]Samuel_Gompers 0 points1 point ago

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It's all good. He dies in 1916 anyway.

[–]moskaudancer 7 points8 points ago

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I never thought I would read the words "world famous gynecologist", but there you go...

[–]pestilence 2 points3 points ago

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[–]Kaysauce 3 points4 points ago

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I opened that, hit Ctrl-F and typed "vagina." I then realized what I was doing, and laughed hysterically.

[–]tofuligans 4 points5 points ago

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I am fairly certain that engines did not have engine management systems in 1912.

[–]aintitashame 8 points9 points ago

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[–]snorch -1 points0 points ago

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Gentleman. Scholar. You are both.

[–]_Tyler_Durden_ 3 points4 points ago

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Is this another of those made up quotes, in which someone from a century ago managed to make a quote with modern terms in it?

[–]hackysack 14 points15 points ago

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Inside every car is a hidden vagina.

[–]Gyvon 12 points13 points ago

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[–]161803399 0 points1 point ago

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She's really hot. She single?

[–]stubble 8 points9 points ago

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True, most BMWs have a cunt in the driving seat.

[–]Killadelphian 1 point2 points ago

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you wish your car ran that well.

[–]cssforlife 4 points5 points ago*

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This must be why men love cars so much, waste large sums of money for body kits, and parts for marginally better performance.

EDIT: Clarity.

[–]indescription 3 points4 points ago

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Most body kits actually reduce performance with the added weight and drag, the exception being an aerodynamically tested kit, which only benefits at high speeds.

[–]cssforlife 1 point2 points ago

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Right, let me clarify. body kits and performance being separate things to waste money on.

[–]Teh_Slayur[!] 0 points1 point ago

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There is actually a real phenomenon of men who develop sexual attraction toward cars, which brings a whole new level of meaning to this Kids in the Hall skit.

P.S. Sexist misogynists, go fuck yourselves (or your cars).

[–]yellowking 0 points1 point ago

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It's typically on the rear right side, though, according to the car love website I saw...

[–]skilless 8 points9 points ago

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Cute, a Digg user posted something.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]ChaoticXSinZ 88 points89 points ago

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It does...future generations.

[–]roriek01 21 points22 points ago

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YYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

[–]loginfliggle 10 points11 points ago

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Fuck! It's bright with the sun in my eyes!

[–]MethodicalMortal 1 point2 points ago

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Simplicity, gotta love it.

[–]LordBrandon 3 points4 points ago

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Yet It is the great engine of civilization.

[–]5thEye 7 points8 points ago

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It powers my erections, that's for sure.

[–]tylerfulltilt 2 points3 points ago

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If only this had been sent to me in an email forward.

[–]SchrodingersDog 35 points36 points ago*

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Man, there are a lot of party poopers in this thread. Of course it's sexist, that's why it's funny. Learn to laugh at yourself sometimes people.

Here are some more examples of jokes that are funny because they are awful:

Where do Jews go to think? Concentration Camps!

Statistically... 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape

What's the difference between jam and jelly? I can't jelly my cock into your four year old's ass!

A black man takes a girl home from a nightclub. She says "Show me it's true what they say about black men". So he stabs her & steals her purse.

Why do conservatives hate Obama? The last thing they want is another black person in DC begging for change.

And one just for the people in this thread; What do you call the useless skin around the vagina? A WOMAN!

It's called Gallow's Humor/Black Comedy people. The realities of WWII are awful, rape is unforgivable, it doesn't get much worse then pedophilia, color of skin doesn't mean shit, and women are just as competent as men in every way. The world will be a much nicer place when you learn to be able to laugh at yourself. Jokes are not meant to be taken seriously.

'Cept for jokes about gingers, fuck those people.

Edit: Reddit is always so quick to help with issues in writing :3

[–]silentcrs 14 points15 points ago

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The issue with this kind of humor (assuming you're the typical liberal Reddit white male) is that there's never any jokes about yourself. The best comedians are self-deprecating. When "Gallow's Humor/Blacky Comedy" targets every person but yourself, it doesn't make you funny -- it makes you Jeff Dunham.

[–]BostonTentacleParty 1 point2 points ago

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Argh! That fucking guy! His show, his stand-up, it's so uncomfortable and awkward.

[–]roobens 16 points17 points ago*

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Although I do agree with you in a lot of ways, and I have in the past laughed at all manner of jokes such as the ones you describe, they still worry me slightly. The reason is that sometimes, not always but sometimes, the people making up these jokes or telling them actually are prejudiced little fucks, and often use the above rationalisation as a way of perpetuating their bullshit views. So often I feel uncomfortable with these kinda jokes, especially if someone I don't know too well is spewing out one after another, how can I be sure that they're not actually a bigot? But if I say something then I get the whole, "oh fuck you man, you see racism/sexism/etc. everywhere...maybe you're the one with the problem", or just generally told to lighten up. So mostly I tend to ignore it.

Where is the line supposed to be drawn with these kind of jokes? I find South Park hilarious, because I see the jokes for their innate humour and I know the guys making those jokes don't actually hold those beliefs. But I do worry that half the people laughing at those jokes actually think that it's funny because it's true.

[–]SchrodingersDog 2 points3 points ago*

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You don't have to draw a line. There doesn't need to be one. There are people who actually think in a way where they would agree with the sentiment of these kinds of jokes. That sucks, but theres nothing you can do about it, and eradicating these jokes isn't going to stop it. It's not worth the bother.

I'll use the Patriot Act as an example. It could make us safer, but it conflicts with a lot of our rights. We loose rights because we are afraid of terrorists. That's exactly what they want, they win. Okay, yeah, that's a bit of an extreme example but I think it applies.

Your thoughts would apply to people who take Colbert seriously at conservative face value. There are (a lot of) people who do that. Why should you let that cause you enjoy his comedy any less? The answer is you shouldn't!

Those people exist, it sucks, but theres nothing anyone can do about it, so don't even bother. There are better ways to worry about them than worrying about what a few jokes are gonna do.

[–]Alanna 1 point2 points ago

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You are my new hero. :)

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]SchrodingersDog 1 point2 points ago

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MAN! You got me. I proof read and everything. I even changed you're to your!

Well, I never claim to be a master of English... Quite the opposite actually.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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This is for you tenthlevel: http://i.imgur.com/2AtiK.jpg

[–]abjurer 0 points1 point ago

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It's called gallows humor if you're the one on the gallows. If you're just pointing and laughing like Nelson Muntz, the precise term is "ass humor."

[–]Peebs 4 points5 points ago

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I get it! It's funny because women are temperamental.

[–]rolls_eyes 6 points7 points ago

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e_e

[–]diversionmary 2 points3 points ago

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Nice try, 5theye

[–]railmaniac 0 points1 point ago

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I saw that as a fill-in-the-blanks question and put 'y' in there.

[–]atomicthumbs 3 points4 points ago

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I'm pretty sure someone from 1912 would have said "governor", not "management system".

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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hmmmm...

I'm sure he didn't used the term fucking in 1912

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]riemannzetajones 0 points1 point ago

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I think the parent was referring to "fucking" being used as an adverb, which I'm willing to bet is a modern invention.

[–]charleyface 1 point2 points ago

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Well, I thought it was funny. (girl)

[–]me_again 18 points19 points ago

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Wow, casual sexism. Amazing how that just never seems to get old.

[–]albinofrenchy 9 points10 points ago

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It was a joke. It is in fact possible to appreciate or share a joke without actually taking it at face value.

[–]purplemonkeys -1 points0 points ago

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So what are we supposed to not be taking at face value, that women are temperamental? Oh wait, wasn't that the punchline?

[–][deleted] ago*

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[deleted]

[–][deleted] -5 points-4 points ago

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Old jokes, mate.

So not only is it sexist, its worn out and unfunny!

[–][deleted] ago*

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[deleted]

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points ago

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Your implication--that my relationship with my friends is analogous in a meaningful way with my relationship to a gender or any other defined group--is spurious. If there was a long history of negative stereotypes of black people having to do with big ears, then yes, mocking a black man's big ears would have a derogetory content. Much the same way as calling Obama 'boy' isn't just playful mocking, but mean-spirited racism.

[–][deleted] ago*

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[deleted]

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

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Calling him "boy" would imply that I'm his fucking master...yunno, like he's my slave.

No, thats not it. 'Boy' was simply a derogatory term used to imply that blacks were inferior. It was also used to describe gay men (cf. Chauncey, Gay New York); it didn't imply that one was a slave, and the Jewish anology is silly.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]strychnine 21 points22 points ago

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No, it's mostly the sexism that's getting old.

[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points ago

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Well, I find that for every joke about vaginas there are equal complaints about men being destroyed in legal battles with ex-wives simply because they are males and are assumed lying-cheating-bastards.

However, in the grand scheme of things, neither one of these actually addresses true sexist dialogues.

I think one discourse that would highlight a true sexist theme is the notion of venereal disease being a lack of morality and a depletion of worth as a human being. Men are allowed to have them because most of the time they are dormant or reserved to limited physical abnormalities, however a woman's ability to reproduce as a primary medical concern is secondary compared to the damage of labeling as a vile, useless, whore.

Saying, "OMG Alimony!" or "ZOMG! Women's' emotions are stronger than men's!" is a complete and utter betrayal to the type of genuine discourse that discrepancies between genders deserves.

And yes motherfuckers.... I am fucking awesome at parties. Here's proof

[–]Mo1otovCocktail 0 points1 point ago

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Its cool, my jar opener sometimes malfunctions when he has too much to drink.

[–]GuyWithAids 1 point2 points ago

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I am such a nerd. After reading that, all I thought was "it is not self-lubricating! Women eat which is a source of energy that they convert to energy used for lubrication"

[–]alvaspiral 8 points9 points ago

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Misogynist, sexist bullshit is #2 in /funny/. Yep, this is reddit!

[–]pokie6 11 points12 points ago

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Are you a Funny-ist or something? Just because a joke portrays an unwholesome view doesn't mean it cannot be funny.

[–]opportuneport 0 points1 point ago

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"Penises! They'd be so much better if guys didn't have MOODS and stuff!"

I, personally, think the first bit (oil changes and stuff) was moderately funny. While I didn't personally find the last bit funny, I can imagine quite easily that someone could find this both kinda misogynist AND funny at the same time. But that doesn't stop it from being creepy when you look at it from a certain angle.

[–]pokie6 1 point2 points ago

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Sure. I am just the kind of person who would laugh at Holocaust jokes if they were funny so I take objection to dismissing a joke because its content is offensive.

[–]opportuneport 0 points1 point ago

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Well, it's not that it's "unwholesome"...it's that it's offensive. A joke can be funny in or because of its offensiveness, and still be funny.... but one shouldn't be surprised when, in a mixed crowd, some find it offensive. I don't tell dead baby jokes in a crowd with people who have lost babies, because they won't find it funny.

Alvaspiral didn't suggest the joke shouldn't have been posted, just that they weren't surprised...

[–]pokie6 1 point2 points ago

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Ah, that last distinction is important. Fair enough.

[–]railmaniac 3 points4 points ago

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Come on people, we have to make it #1!

[–]avnerd 6 points7 points ago

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this is reddit at it's almost worst.

[–]meean 23 points24 points ago

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this is reddit at it is almost worst?

[–]roriek01 0 points1 point ago

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so thats how they see it...

[–]toxic- 6 points7 points ago

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I know! As someone who just learned thermodynamics, there is a lot of missed opportunities here involving vagina and Carnot cycle.

[–]meuep 4 points5 points ago

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My professor made a joke the other day about the carnot cycle being in a car, the car would be a car-not.

[–]Birthday_Wisher 1 point2 points ago

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Happy Reddit Birthday!

[–]avnerd 1 point2 points ago

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Thank you!

[–]crazyeight 2 points3 points ago

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white guys drive like this dooooooo dooo do dooooo

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points ago

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Your face is discouraging.

OH...SNAP!

[–]ameoba 3 points4 points ago

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I question the sourcing but +1 anyways.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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HA, I get it. Im not an individual and my only value is to be used. Gosh that shit is funny......

[–]lakerswiz 0 points1 point ago

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Hey it's Zach Galifianakis!

[–]eatmorebow 0 points1 point ago

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I just imagined Zach Galifianakis saying that while I read it.

[–]ztrvz 0 points1 point ago

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Whoah. A world famous gynecologist.

[–]mrShickadance 0 points1 point ago

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I wanna know what made him a world famous gynecologist

[–]RonaldFuckingPaul 0 points1 point ago

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he might wanna get that rash checked

[–]JEWPAC 0 points1 point ago

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I'd buy this guy a beer

[–]Madmusk 0 points1 point ago

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The question is: 2-stroke or 4-stroke?

[–]asianpersuation 0 points1 point ago

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hahaha xD

[–]hrvachina 0 points1 point ago

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He told us a truth :D

[–]flostre 0 points1 point ago

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It changes its oil everytime it is started.

(The menstrual blood doesn't lubricate, as does oil. Also, it doesn't originate in the vagina, it is only passing through there.)

[–]gmpalmer 1 point2 points ago

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The menstrual blood doesn't lubricate

Sounds like someone's playing without redwings. . .

[–]flostre 1 point2 points ago

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Okay, I should have said "Isn't there for lubrication" or so.

[–]madelinecn 1 point2 points ago

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It brings the vagina back to it's regular ph balance though :)

[–]Excelsior_i 0 points1 point ago

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As a Mechanical Engineer, i can vouch for the accuracy of the statement.

[–]biggamehunter6 -2 points-1 points ago

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doubt he said it, but hilarious either way

[–]HowardWCampbell 0 points1 point ago

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You're half right anyway.

[–]bananas22 0 points1 point ago

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Volvo joke.

[–]jun2san 0 points1 point ago

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If I remember correctly, and I do, it was actually Abraham Lincoln who quoted this.

[–]KomodoAce 0 points1 point ago

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The amount of work to get to that engine is a pain in the ass at times. Then again maybe I'm aiming for the Mercedes and the Ferrari's of the world. I should settle for a Chevy or a reliable Honda.

[–]dosman1271 1 point2 points ago

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Bravo.