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[–]vanitycrisis 1864 points1865 points ago

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Original: http://pics.livejournal.com/ecctv/pic/00p5dr69

That guy (also known as Cheeks) is a member of Oh No They Didn't, he's known for getting celebrities to do the fansign thing.

[–]so_O 620 points621 points ago

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This needs to be the top comment for maximum dream shatterage.

[–]ZeppelinJ0 71 points72 points ago

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I agree with you. At first i was aroused, then fully crushed.

[–]frankcube 81 points82 points ago

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At first I was afraid...

[–]TheGenious 85 points86 points ago

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I was petrified?

[–][deleted] 70 points71 points ago

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kept thinkin i could never live without you by my side!

[–]GreatBallsOfFIRE 60 points61 points ago

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but then i spent so many nights thinkin' how you did me wrong!

[–]CaptainKen 58 points59 points ago

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And I grew strong I learned how to get along

[–]FaustTheBird 52 points53 points ago

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and so you're back, from outer space

[–]PopeJohnPaulII 125 points126 points ago

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I clicked that link and now I'm here

with a sad look upon my face

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]iVisionX01 269 points270 points ago

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FFFFUUUUUUUUUU

[–]Azured 151 points152 points ago

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Fuck it. I only like girls who wear short skirts anyway.

[–]vacuumboots 383 points384 points ago

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And Looooooong jackets.

[–][deleted] 32 points33 points ago

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And fingernails that shine like justice.

[–]MrFurious0 18 points19 points ago

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And a voice that is dark like tinted glass

[–]vickivoracious 66 points67 points ago

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Upvote for CAKE!

[–]JHStarner 24 points25 points ago

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Does she have to have the right allocations?

[–]sketchampm 18 points19 points ago

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Is she fast and thorough, and sharp as a tack?

[–]needsmorecoffee 14 points15 points ago

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Is she touring the facility and picking up slack?

[–]cyancynic 5 points6 points ago

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The cake is a lie

[–]BicBehindEar 13 points14 points ago

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No shit? I personally prefer girls who wear t-shirts.

[–]nasty_ass-joe 39 points40 points ago

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I personally prefer cute smart girls who dress conservatively

[–]terafunker 16 points17 points ago

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Upvote for smart girls.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]sexraptor 44 points45 points ago

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Here, have an upgoat.

[–]SexualHarasmentPanda 6 points7 points ago

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Goats go to hell.

[–]lear 7 points8 points ago

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I tried to say, "sheep go to heaven" the other day, but it came out, "sheep go to Kevin."

[–]Boyblunder 2 points3 points ago

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The barber can give you a haircut, The carpenter, can take you out to lunch.

[–]spockish 5 points6 points ago

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and sit on the bleachers.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]DaGreatOvechkin 19 points20 points ago

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Honestly how would she get such a sweet signature with that sharpie?

[–]adelaidejewel 18 points19 points ago

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The only fan sign I've ever gotten for ONTD was John Vanderslice, and I am still proud of that.

[–]weakerthans 10 points11 points ago

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john vanderslice is the nicest person

[–]jaeccles 8 points9 points ago

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This is in fact utterly true. His kindness is almost humorous for a bit until you figure out it's entirely authentic. Then you just conclude it's awesome, which it is.

[–]daragh 4 points5 points ago

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He really is. I met him after a show he & his band played to a small crowd when I went up to buy a couple of CDs from him. I admitted upfront that I hadn't actually bought any of his music but had listened to much of it through other means and he enthusiastically told me at great length that he thought "piracy" was pretty much the best thing that could be happening to the music industry. I didn't really want the CDs to listen to, but I wanted to financially support the band in as direct a way as possible. I still haven't actually played either CD, but both are signed and have a personalised message written on them. Ironically, it'll probably be the CDs I've never listened to that I'll be most reluctant to get rid of.

[–]Travis-Touchdown 8 points9 points ago

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If you look carefully you can see the unerased remnants of the top of the O on the shopped version.

[–]TheCheeks 25 points26 points ago

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That guy (also known as Cheeks)

Motherfucker...

[–]dunnoes 5 points6 points ago

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Well, he's not THE Cheeks. Just another normal Cheeks.

[–]bluetoe 13 points14 points ago

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sadly, you have convinced me. sigh...

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]Devistator 9 points10 points ago

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This is a major letdown. FUCK

[–]kmonk 5 points6 points ago

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if this doesn't reach top comment, then reddit is no more.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points ago

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already there if you sort by best.

[–]D14BL0 2 points3 points ago

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A part of me wishes you didn't post this.

[–]starshine29 2 points3 points ago

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Damn, just came here to post this info! I see ONTD stuff pop up on Reddit all the time, and it seems like no-one else notices (probably since Redditors generally don't seem to be the type to frequent gossip blogs...).

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

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I thought I would be the only person here to recognize daavaaad. The internet is small..

[–]wilhel1002 6 points7 points ago

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[–][deleted] 987 points988 points ago

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I'm really happy for her, but Beyoncé made one of the best promises of all time.

[–][deleted] 244 points245 points ago

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Of all time!

[–]Gimli_The_Dwarf 389 points390 points ago

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and my axe!

[–]coppersink 48 points49 points ago

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The only comment this user should ever be posting.

[–]Gimli_The_Dwarf 125 points126 points ago

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And my axe!

[–]coppersink 18 points19 points ago

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SCIENCE!

[–]Thomas_Dolby 27 points28 points ago

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Expect a call from my lawyers.

[–]GimliSonOfGloin 5 points6 points ago

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[–]OMGBeez 77 points78 points ago

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I have not laughed that hard in months. Thank you Gimli, son of Gloin.

[–]GimliSonOfGloin 33 points34 points ago

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:<

[–]GimliSonOfGloin 4 points5 points ago

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:<

[–]Gimli_The_Dwarf 6 points7 points ago

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Gotta pay attention, man.

[–]TheSov 38 points39 points ago

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and my b..oh fuck it.

[–]Skibum04 109 points110 points ago

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And my boner, fuck it.

[–]ltjboy03 23 points24 points ago

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haha. yeah. and my... and my... HAHAHA! YEAH.

[–]Setiri 49 points50 points ago

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Upvoted, but I hate you now.

[–]J1mbr0 13 points14 points ago

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I must know what the promise is!

[–][deleted] 140 points141 points ago

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okay, the contract does not stipulate the sport. Alabama must have beaten LSU at something! For god's sake does anyone here follow curling????

[–]AdamJacobMuller 43 points44 points ago

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Can we just find someone from Alabama and drive them to LSU and i'm sure we can find -someone- at LSU willing to get beaten up......

[–]Nougat 6 points7 points ago

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For science!

[–][deleted] 35 points36 points ago

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[–]blueboybob 8 points9 points ago

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Alabama beat LSU in football last year. When I am sure this was agreed upon it.

[–][deleted] 150 points151 points ago

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Everybody shut up, don't ruin my fantasy. I don't ever want to find out this is fake.

[–]pomegranati 48 points49 points ago

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well, it's not. But LSU beat Alabama.

[–][deleted] 44 points45 points ago

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It's only a matter of time before Ms. Swift makes another bet. And when she does... we'll be ready.

[–]Latrunculus 22 points23 points ago

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we'll make sure that the LSU team has an unfortunate accident

on an unrelated note: does anyone here have a balaclava and some billy-clubs.

[–]viper_dude08 7 points8 points ago*

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You're going about it all wrong. We are all computer geeks, they will be meat-head college athletes. We just need to make the LSU team captain aware of what is on the line pending the outcome of the game. I am quite sure he will take the personal sacrifice for the benefit of humanity.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

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Or hack the score board. No one will notice, right?

[–]RagingAnemone 10 points11 points ago

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does anyone here have a balaclava and some billy-clubs.

That's smart. I never remember to bring dessert to a beat down.

[–]killa__c 3 points4 points ago

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i'm not nitpicking, i'm actually quite hung over just wanted to point out baklava is a greek dessert and a balaclava is a hat with eye and mouth holes. carry on... unless i'm overlooking some kind of sarcasm in which carry on anyway...

[–]LoveAndDoubt 5 points6 points ago

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This picture was made during college football season, when Alabama indeed beat LSU.

[–]iburnshit 187 points188 points ago

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Looks legit. I can tell by the pixels.

[–]Azured 69 points70 points ago

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Looks legit. I can tell by the buldge in my pants.

[–]AtheismFTW 61 points62 points ago

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I'm getting a raging clue.

[–]dave_g17 11 points12 points ago

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My clue is totally pointing towards Alabama.

[–]philipkd 184 points185 points ago

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It's obvious this was photoshopped, but for kicks, here's the Error Level Analysis Results (my first time using this, don't know how legit it is)

[–]modest_radio 45 points46 points ago

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that is one sweet tool friend.. I'll be doing that for hours legitimizing photos!!

[–]gnosticfryingpan 10 points11 points ago

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That's a redditor's site too.

Can't remember his username at the mo though...

[–]murphy11211 28 points29 points ago*

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It was made by this redditor, who's an old school mate of mine.

EDIT: who's/whose mixup

[–]digitalsmear 7 points8 points ago

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From the sounds of the tech information on that page, if you start with a lossless format, like RAW and do all your editing in lossless formats, like psd or tiff, then you wouldn't be able to identify the editing from this method, correct?

My question has nothing to do with this image, I'm just curious.

[–]hennell 2 points3 points ago

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My understanding is that it mostly detects Jpg noise. So if you open a jpg, add something then save as jpg, the noise will be different. Opening a Raw, editing and saving would probably not have different noise samples so could fool the tool.

Of course 90% of online shops are web pics edited into other web pics/not original files. So it works fine as a novelty, just not reliably as a proper tool.

[–]tdupu10000 10 points11 points ago

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So was the Rock Photo-bomb photoshopped?

[–]krizutch 13 points14 points ago

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[–]philipkd 2 points3 points ago

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I would say that the Error Level Analysis does not show evidence of photoshopping.

What does indicate manipulation, is different levels of brightness throughout the image. If certain sections of the image have noticeably different levels of brightness, it is a strong indicator for further investigation.

[–]greendestiny 25 points26 points ago*

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ELA is mostly bullshit as far as I can see. Assuming that this is the original http://pics.livejournal.com/ecctv/pic/00p5dr69 then the ELA of that is: http://imgur.com/wkEbt

The website http://errorlevelanalysis.com wouldn't do it for me (the file's too big), so here is the matlab code I used.

i = imread('00p5dr69.jpg');    
imwrite(i,'temp.jpg','jpeg','Quality',95);
it = imread('temp.jpg');
idiff = uint8(abs(double(i)-double(it))*30);
me = max(max(max(idiff)));
idiff = uint8(double(idiff)*255/double(me));

Note firstly that the absolute intensity is up to the scale value used. Secondly, on both images the text is darker on the sign. Its darker because it compresses more easily - but in ELA terms that is suppose to be brighter because it has been added to the image (and should therefore change more).

Edit: And for comparison here is the modified image done with the same code I used for the original: http://imgur.com/oRELm

[–]adchick 2 points3 points ago

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Holy Crap, you went all Bones on us. That is super awesome!

[–]VapidStatementsAhead 5 points6 points ago

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You forgot to use cumulative trapezoidal numerical integration.

[–]meinsla 22 points23 points ago

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If you are unsure how to interpret the results, please do not claim the results of this tool as proof of anything.

[–]Joel_gh719 8 points9 points ago

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No it doesn't.... ohhhhhh ;)

[–]T1mac 4 points5 points ago

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If only it were true....

[–]borodino 16 points17 points ago

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Taylor's looking pretty wonderful; Jeff looks like years of douchebaggery have taken their toll.

[–]hiicha 483 points484 points ago

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You all are overlooking an incredible resemblance.

[–]seiya42 106 points107 points ago

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Dammit I thought you were gonna post some porn star that looks like Taylor Swift.

[–]cmunerd 14 points15 points ago

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All the people who didn't upvote this are liars.

[–]notthesizeoftheboat 15 points16 points ago

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Problem?

[–]jankyalias 14 points15 points ago

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I knew something was off about dude's face and I just could not put my finger on it, until...

[–]m0zzie 56 points57 points ago

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This is extremely relevant to my interests.

[–]Azured 191 points192 points ago*

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Speaking from a strictly legal perspective, that signature makes a binding contract between the two parties. If Taylor does not perform the obligations specified in the agreement I will be looking to injunct. If she does perform the obligations, I will be looking to injunct her twice as hard.

[–][deleted] 189 points190 points ago

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Unfortunately, since Jeff provides no consideration, not even a promise in return that he will perform some act should LSU beat Alabama, it is a gratuitous promise, and unenforceable. You will be, as usual, self-injuncting.

[–][deleted] 17 points18 points ago

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Reliance maybe? Did Jeff pass up opportunities to see other ladies naked as a result of this agreement? Grasping at straws, certainly, but we need this.

[–]oski2005 10 points11 points ago

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Section 90 FTW

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points ago

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Upvoted because you just went ATL on Reddit.

[–]Azured 70 points71 points ago

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Consideration? I think you should consider stepping the fuck off my dreams.

[–]embur 36 points37 points ago

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CALL A LAWYER! DON'T TALK TO THE POLICE!

...Oh, are we not giving out legal advice? Shit. My bad. Jumped the gun.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

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classy action?

[–]Workaphobia 4 points5 points ago

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You have said what I was going to say, sooner, and with a better double entendre. I have been bested.

[–]windwrangler 9 points10 points ago

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As the events took place in the Deep South, we would kindly ask ya'll to take yer lawyerin elsewhere. If you will excuse us, me and the boys gone ride over to the 'Bama campus and have a talk with them.

[–]CoiffedOne 18 points19 points ago

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Now I may just be a simple hyperchicken lawyer from a backwoods asteroid but I do believe we have a legal bindin contract.

[–]Scrode 4 points5 points ago

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I might injunct my pants.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

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Except that it's an illegal contact. Betting on sports is illegal in both states.

[–]Lostinservice 88 points89 points ago

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Fuuuuuuuuuuckkkkkk..... LSU just beat Alabama

[–][deleted] 165 points166 points ago

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I'm still not sure why LSU didn't just throw the game.

What's one loss for them, when it means a win for all of mankind?

[–]karmanaut 65 points66 points ago

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Greedy bastards.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

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There's always next year.

[–]nauree 15 points16 points ago

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What happens if she had huge meat curtains? Maybe LSU saved mankind?

[–]TastyToddlerCocks 26 points27 points ago*

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What, are you gay? Meet curtains are a fun and easy snack.

[–]redvandal 22 points23 points ago

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No, they're meat curtains... or bologna curtains. "My bologna has a first name it's v.a.g.i.n.a" -Taylor's new hit single.

[–]PedoBearsAgent 8 points9 points ago

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DAMN. I went to the Friday game (LSU won 12-5).

I was rooting for the wrong side the entire time.

[–]Lostinservice 21 points22 points ago

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This is why we can't have nice things!

[–]Phireous 2 points3 points ago

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I think it's fair to say that we can all blame you for this. I hope you're happy.

[–]axidentproneandy 16 points17 points ago

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Well, shit.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points ago

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I am CERTAIN they couldn't have been talking about baseball. who in the SEC gives a flying fuck about baseball. this had to be from last football season, right?

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points ago

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But nobody in their right mind would bet that LSU beat Bama in football

[–]CC440 6 points7 points ago

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Except an LSU fan. That's how being a fan works.

[–]SantiagoRamon 3 points4 points ago

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Yeah but you might wanna bet just a little less if it were football.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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Up until a couple of years ago it would have been a legit bet. Now, not so much.

[–]DHDXero 3 points4 points ago

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No. NOOOOOOOOOOO! DAMMIT! WHY!?!

[–]psygnisfive 34 points35 points ago

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You realize she's going to be sitting with a cat between her legs, right?

[–]Spiny_Norman 36 points37 points ago

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I'd settle for her tits at that point.

[–]Imsomniland 13 points14 points ago

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maybe she owns tit birds?

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

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And some birds?

[–]sfgeek 58 points59 points ago

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Damn you photoshop, I wish that was real. Taylor swift is sexy.

[–]MajorLeeScrewed 9 points10 points ago

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Fake sign aside, she is incredibly hot in that photo.

[–]gaussprincipleofLC 41 points42 points ago

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hands up if you got wood reading that.

[–]116158 50 points51 points ago

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[–]smoothmann 19 points20 points ago

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[–]X019 73 points74 points ago

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I was really afraid to click that.

[–]gaussprincipleofLC 9 points10 points ago

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yeah... I still haven't clicked it. is it safe?!

[–]m0zzie 40 points41 points ago

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Not at all, his shirt is untucked and he's not wearing a belt. Absolute slob!

[–]brainiac256 5 points6 points ago

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His tie is quite poorly tied as well. This would be totally unsuitable for my workplace.

[–]fatalerrrpr 2 points3 points ago

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Full on chubby. Glad I'm not alone.

[–]vkiningham 21 points22 points ago*

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Sorry guys, but I think this is edited :(

"... *** Searching Compression Signatures *** Signature: 013BA18D5561625796E986FDBC09F846 Signature (Rotated): 01AC57E12793DFA7C46C704625C5AF0F File Offset: 0 bytes Chroma subsampling: 1x1 EXIF Make/Model: NONE EXIF Makernotes: NONE EXIF Software: NONE ... Searching Compression Signatures: (3327 built-in, 1 user(*) )

EXIF.Make / Software EXIF.Model Quality

The following IJG-based editors also match this signature:
 SW :[GIMP                     ]                                         [090             ]                  
 SW :[IrfanView                ]                                        [090             ]                  
 SW :[idImager                 ]                                        [090             ]                  
 SW :[FastStone Image Viewer   ]                                 [090             ]                  
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Based on the analysis of compression characteristics and EXIF metadata: ASSESSMENT: Class 1 - Image is processed/edited

Dumped from JPEGsnoop

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points ago

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Not to be a spoil sport, but just to satisfy my curiosity now that we know this is fake from the top post, can you run this analysis on the source image?

http://pics.livejournal.com/ecctv/pic/00p5dr69

And post the results here? I just want to see what it has to say about that. I'm just curious. I've seen things like photos of signs and posters come back stating it was doctored even when it was not, but they used a different technique.

Unless you just made that up to be funny. Then go fuck a duck.

[–]eye8urkids 3 points4 points ago

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Why? Just why?

[–]ayman85 20 points21 points ago

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I would have to say the most appealing thing about this is the Made in Detroit jacket she's wearing, and the pussy part's not a bad thing

[–]ahlspiess 24 points25 points ago

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[–]hyp3r 17 points18 points ago

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Dont you hate it when reddit steals articles from 4chan?

[–]Muhs 38 points39 points ago

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No, because now I never have to go to 4chan.

[–]digitalsmear 6 points7 points ago

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And apparently 4chan stole that from Livejournal! o.O

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points ago

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Who in turn stole it from Digg. And they stole it from Reddit!

Wait a second...

[–]smellycoat 10 points11 points ago*

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Heh. That's a god damn handwriting font. Couldn't even be bothered to bust out a sharpie.

(compare a few of the letters, the "g", [lowercase] "L" and "a" are good ones).

Edit: Signature font

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points ago

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Photoshoped! Move along.

[–]pthoresen 4 points5 points ago

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How does this garbage make it to the top of the front page?

[–]NuQ 8 points9 points ago

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is it just me, or does anyone else think taylor has this permanent look on her face? like a predator observes prey... or more mantis-like, as if she wants to rip your head off to initiate sex.

Maybe i'm just projecting my own sick fantasies, but seriously... what is with that stare?

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points ago

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She looks like a pretty little cupcake I want to disassemble.

[–]Tomtom041890 3 points4 points ago

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Lets enhance it a little. Zoom in.

[–]XPelargos 3 points4 points ago

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I think we have another contender for "Real-Life-Trollface"

[–]ares623 2 points3 points ago

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wow. Never knew she was this beautiful. <3

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points ago

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I found this to be crass and not at all amusing. Just me?

[–]stanthebat 4 points5 points ago

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No, me as well. Yours should be the top comment.

[–]organicsarcasm 8 points9 points ago

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lol, she only trusts him because he looks like he'd say 'ewww' upon seeing a vagina :D

[–]eyeforgotmyname 11 points12 points ago

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Am I the only one that thinks that guy is a jerk?

[–]microchannelplate 2 points3 points ago

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That guy has epic creepy troll face.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]upagainst 2 points3 points ago

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with fingernails that shine like justice

[–]Splatterh0use 2 points3 points ago

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Photoshop, you so crazy!

[–]SicKilla 3 points4 points ago

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Who the fuck wears Ecko Unltd. shit?

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points ago

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Jesus fucking Christ, she is the hottest girl alive. If for some impossible reason she ever falls in love with me, I would have no problem faking being a Christian for the rest of my life.

[–]jngrow 10 points11 points ago

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I have never thought she was that attractive. But what the fuck wow she looks good in this picture.

[–]mrminty 4 points5 points ago*

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SHOOP!!!!! I can tell because the lines in the writing are too uniformly soft.

EDIT: Mmmkay, I realize I've been beaten to it about 6,000 times, but that's because I'm very drunk.

EDIT II ELECTRIC BUGALOO: Or is that over 9,000 times? My meme compass is all off.

[–]frenzyfol 6 points7 points ago

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Anyone else have to wiki these celebs because like me, they have no idea who they are... I be getting old.

[–]someguitarplayer 4 points5 points ago

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Does taylor swift look like donna to anyone else?

[–]therealjerrystaute 3 points4 points ago

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It sure is a good Photoshop job.

[–]UnbeknownstParticle 2 points3 points ago*

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Taylor, that's good, and Ima let you finish, but Beyonce had the best bare pussy of all time!

edit A pic would have helped this post out immeasurably.

[–]oscarinabox 4 points5 points ago

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[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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WOW im fucking pissed now that you showed me this, after LSU fucking won fuckfuckfuck FUUUUUUUUUUUU

[–]forbucci 1 point2 points ago

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wait wait wait, this has to be real. fuck please goddamn internet

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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dude, it's not funny to take advantage of "special" people.

[–]DrBrian 1 point2 points ago

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(As if anyone needed ANY proof) that's not even close to her handwriting/signature.

[–]pork2001 1 point2 points ago

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Wow, that Adobe CS5 AutoFill is truly amazing!

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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yea, that's not fake at allllll

[–]Gregman 1 point2 points ago

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This guy has a Troll's face.

[–]crookedparadigm 1 point2 points ago

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Skillful shoop is skillful

[–]mcdeviant 1 point2 points ago

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What a gumby.

[–]bfalava 1 point2 points ago

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Oh isn't she beautiful

[–]ohdeno 1 point2 points ago

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She didn't say she will show us the picture. Just that he can take it.

[–]ohdeno 2 points3 points ago

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Oh it's fake anyway :(

[–]KazamaSmokers 1 point2 points ago

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Wow. ONTD is the least-interesting gossip sight EVER.

[–]daylight 1 point2 points ago

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Why does fame = "oh god I want to see her tits now"?

Taylor Swift is attractive, but not in an unusual way. She's attractive in the way popular girls in high school are attractive; in the way that thousands of blonde-haired, blue-eyed young strippers are attractive.

It's like we, as American men, stopped reading Maxim when we were 15 but never stopped thinking like it.

[–]Crotalus 1 point2 points ago

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That guy looks like Beavis' chubby older brother.

[–]Comp_fighter_00 1 point2 points ago

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i might be the only one who thinks this is awesome.