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all 144 comments

[–]alchemeron 75 points76 points ago

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That's what you get for dating 12-year-olds.

[–]christiangenco 45 points46 points ago

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What's the best thing about dating 12-year-olds?

There's twelve of them.

[–][deleted] 95 points96 points ago

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that, um, you... uhh.... see the other version of the joke works cause... uhmmm

nevermind.

[–]ghettoleet 30 points31 points ago

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Upvoted for hilarious massive fail.

[–]barosa 2 points3 points ago

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Successful troll is successful

[–]christiangenco 1 point2 points ago

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8)

[–]Peroxyde 6 points7 points ago*

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What's the best thing about dating twenty-one-year-olds?

FTFY

Edit: I don't understand the problem, it's a legitimate correction. '12-year-olds' doesn't make sense.

[–]OriginalStomper 4 points5 points ago

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Actually, it does make sense. A "one-year-old" can also be referred to as a "year-old." I'll grant that your version is better, but the joke works his way, too.

[–]alijohnstone 1 point2 points ago

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Man, no one really calls one-year olds 'year olds'. I mean maybe I'm generalising but I have never heard that used, and if I did I would probably have to ask the person to clarify what they meant, or think about it for a second. Even if you did use the term 'year olds' you would never use it when there was more than one to avoid complete confusion. 'Twelve year olds' just doesn't mean twelve one year olds :\

[–]PopeTackler 12 points13 points ago

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Hey Peroxyde - I need a fender installed on my car, would you be able to fix that for me?

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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PopeTackler, for some reason I friended you here on Reddit a while back. I have no idea why. You have reaffirmed it was a good decision.

[–]HellsKitchen 1 point2 points ago

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Hey, you want a friend who can defend you against molesting church officials.

[–]Peroxyde 12 points13 points ago

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No, I'm a computer tech, not an automotive tech. We also very likely don't live anywhere near each other.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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You're doing it wrong.

[–]ricer 30 points31 points ago*

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That guy sounds like a jealouse bastert!

[–]ericlikesyou 6 points7 points ago

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This may be none of our buisness

[–][deleted] 27 points28 points ago

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12 year old girls write like drunken idiots speak.

[–]aeontorpor 40 points41 points ago

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How dare you insult drunken idiots like that.

[–][deleted] 16 points17 points ago

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As a member of the drunken idiots demographic, I demand you take your bigoted statement back!

[–]nrfx 3 points4 points ago

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I'm 12 adn what is this?

[–]Cdresden 19 points20 points ago

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I wonder how she feels about Chris, now that they aren't dating any longer.

[–]Chris1218218 7 points8 points ago

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We aren't on good terms.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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I'm really upset you aren't the actual guy.

[–]pandaspear 18 points19 points ago

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The guy's voice reminds me of Plankton from Spongebob.

[–]lovelynotes 13 points14 points ago

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N is for nooo survviiiiiiIIIVOORRSS

[–]ffn 3 points4 points ago

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U is for Uranium.....

BOMBS!

[–]2xyn1xx 19 points20 points ago

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My 13-year-old son showed this to me last week and we were both on the floor laughing. How can anyone not think this was hilarious? In addition to being a condemnation of the texting generation.

[–]arthum 38 points39 points ago

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Epiphany.

Now I want kids. I never realized I could have them troll the Web to find hilarious stuff for me to look at.

[–]weekendwarrior 8 points9 points ago

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Now? You never thought about cleaning, yard work, car washing, etc? ;)

[–]JayceMJ 8 points9 points ago*

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That's why you get an apartment, not a house, and when you don't have a child to leave messes in the apartment cleaning is pretty minimal. With all that money you save from not having a kid you can pay some hot women to clean your car.

[–]pytechd 2 points3 points ago

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Unfortunately, kids have a long investment lead time. Even if you worked them every day of their teenage lives you'd probably still have a net negative asset on your hands.

[–]ljzmcm 0 points1 point ago

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This was before the texting generation I think. If I remember right this ones been around for like 6-7 years

[–]Othello 0 points1 point ago

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I think the letter is funny but for me the voice-over ruins it. You gotta read these things straight; the giggling and mistakes just detract from the experience.

[–]This2x4Skeleton 31 points32 points ago

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oh god. it's been a while but this never gets old

[–][deleted] 107 points108 points ago

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So many downvotes? Maybe I'm just tired but I found the reading hilarious.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]stupidreasons 10 points11 points ago

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I upvote it every time...see username.

[–]unamerican 1 point2 points ago

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You might seek some therapy for that bizarre fetish, though. That poor young man was just trying to help you, and now he's single. All because you like seeing other people get their hands touched. That's naughty, stupidreasons.

[–]LaserBeamsCattleProd 76 points77 points ago

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New to me, somehow I've missed this gem.

[–]Misio 24 points25 points ago

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I have seen it before, but not for a while. Definitely worth a rechuckle.

[–]barkingllama 8 points9 points ago

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This brought back great memories. Upvote.

[–]Scalawag 4 points5 points ago

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How have you not seen this?? It's a classic. And the link text has to be my favorite line. "You make me touch your hands for STUPID REASONS!". lol.

[–]iCabbage 3 points4 points ago

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Same here, I just discovered it.

[–]Buckwheat469 1 point2 points ago

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NBC. Bing Bang Bong.

[–]ohstrangeone 9 points10 points ago

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THIS is why I ignore people who scream and bitch and say "repost! so old!" whenever I post something (that, apparently, is old): I've NEVER seen this (the OP's submission) before and thought it was fucking hilarious, and am grateful that he "reposted" it.

Advice to other redditors: if you submit something and people bitch in the comments about it being a repost, fucking ignore their asses--as long as it's getting more upvotes than downvotes, you're good. What that means is that more people appreciate you showing it to them than are irritated that it's a repost--some of those people upvoting may have even seen it before but it's been a while and are glad to see it again for whatever reason. Point is, let the votes be your guide.

For an example from my own submission history, see here: http://www.reddit.com/r/WTF/comments/b8y0k/strangest_ebay_feedback_everandperhapsthe_highest/

The top comment on that was, for the majority of the time it was popular, this one: http://www.reddit.com/r/WTF/comments/b8y0k/strangest_ebay_feedback_everandperhapsthe_highest/c0ljq8e

It's not anymore (and I love the fact that the one just above it says "new to me. awesome" YES!!!!! THAT'S THE POINT!! THANK YOU!), but is still at +67.

I could not possibly articulate to those of you complaining about the fact that a submission of mine is a repost how much I don't fucking care. You know what I care about? Go look in the upper right hand corner, see those numbers there where it shows how many votes up and how many votes down the submission has? THAT is what I care about, if it's got more up than down then it's a good thing I submitted it and I SHOULD have submitted it completely regardless of anything else, if it's got more down than up then I fucked up (not necessarily the content submitted, could be the title). That's ALL that matters.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]ohstrangeone 0 points1 point ago

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Understood, no it wasn't directed at you, it was just that you brought up a good point I wanted to address.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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ahh.

[–]7oby 0 points1 point ago

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I downvoted because this won't leave the "most visited today" top 10 on the ytmnd homepage, taking space away from new stars.

[–]gnosticfryingpan 2 points3 points ago

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69% like it. That's 3% more than usual.

[–]kmfoh 9 points10 points ago

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It was funny! everyone needs to relax about it being posted before.. it was an accident! I didn't see it before and I'm glad you reposted it because I laughed my ass off after a very long day. So thank you!

[–]HelloMaxwell 17 points18 points ago

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I feel like this is how we should talk all the time without any punctuation and its just huge running sentences that randomly are ALL IN CAPS and are also then hard to try and will understand the words to read and lits nat fouget the mispelld werd al the time there impertait and extra leeeeeetttteeeerrrrsssss thats how you know the word is extra important you got it you BASTERTS!!!

[–]bagofbones 20 points21 points ago

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I feel like this is how we should talk all the time without any punctuation and its just huge running sentences that randomly are ALL IN CAPS

I think you should check out r/politics.

[–]ImLosingTheGame 4 points5 points ago

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[–]Pufflekun 1 point2 points ago

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Ooh, I didn't realize they made a sequel!

[–]ImLosingTheGame 1 point2 points ago

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It was part of the series, there are three parts.

[–]molluskich 7 points8 points ago

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i showed this to my little brother (who was fourteen at the time) and somehow my mom found out. she sent me an email saying that it was inappropriate for him. i think she's a crackpot, this is comedy gold!

[–]Pufflekun 5 points6 points ago

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How was this inappropriate for his age? It seems like it was written by a twelve-year-old...

[–]molluskich 1 point2 points ago

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that's exactly what i said. my mother thought it was "dirty" because of the "you make me touch your hands for stupid reasons" part. again, crackpot.

[–]gridpoet 11 points12 points ago

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I weep for the species...

[–]tia-marie 4 points5 points ago

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This tops the letter I sent to my ex entitled, "You make me touch your penis for stupid reasons."

[–]Fidodo 4 points5 points ago

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It would have been great if it was more rehearsed. The giggling and stumbling kinda ruins it.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

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The overly emotional "i don't care about you" love/breakup letter.

Oh to be young again, when everything is the other person's fault.

The older you get, the more you realize it's actually your fault and that you should probably just settle for someone who only annoys you 30% of the time.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points ago

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For some reason I am thinking that this is the same person who did the "how is babby formed" cavemen

[–]myJon 3 points4 points ago

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As far as YTMND dramatic readings go, I'm quite entertained by this one.

[–]Poromenos 3 points4 points ago

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Ah, oldie but goldie, I love his dramatic reading.

[–]d70 2 points3 points ago

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EPIC REEEAADDDDDDDDINGGGGGGGG!!!! YOU

[–]drf24 3 points4 points ago

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No, I will not add you to my adblock whitelist. It's my browser and my life. If your website can't make you rich, it is not my problem.

[–]bravelyboldsirtj 2 points3 points ago

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I like the little couplet at the end.

id rather date a spider or rat den u ur soooo ugly and fat !!!!!

[–]redditizio 2 points3 points ago

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Holy shit! Did Sarah Palin write this? Someone call Fox News!

[–]brulez 7 points8 points ago

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It would be a lot better if the guy didn't mess up reading it and snicker at parts.

Still pretty good though.

[–]TheTwilightPrince 14 points15 points ago

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That's what I thought until I tried reading it aloud as well. It's rather difficult not to laugh.

[–]Fidodo 8 points9 points ago

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You need to read it until you become numb to it. It'll ruin the joke for you but it makes the performance better.

[–]myheaditches 2 points3 points ago

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Reading through it is pretty hard, especially if you want to maintain the lack of punctuation, you just run out of breath.

[–]arthum 4 points5 points ago

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I actually kind of liked that he snickered at some parts. It added another level of WTF to it.

[–]MrShlee 1 point2 points ago

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Something Awful did it.

[–]arthum 1 point2 points ago

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I kept thinking it was H. Jon Benjamin reading this, which made me like it even more.

[–]sakri 1 point2 points ago

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I was hoping this was gonna be one of those rants by people who don't like shaking hands.

[–]himmi 1 point2 points ago

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I have never seen this before. It was awesome!

[–]KingBeetle 1 point2 points ago

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This is basically every facebook update from kids in Jr. High ever.

[–]raiseup151z 1 point2 points ago

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bastert!!!!

[–]AndrewKemendo 20 points21 points ago

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It seems iCabbage procured a time machine and went back to 2007 and is posting things to reddit from the past!

Don't worry, things here in 2010 are pretty much the same. Oh except for the major global recession.

[–]Animent 24 points25 points ago

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hey thanks Marty, it was new to me.

[–]RedDyeNumber4 7 points8 points ago

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This is heavy.

[–]notthesizeoftheboat 6 points7 points ago

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Weight has nothing to do with it...

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

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You'll be hearing from my lawyers.

[–]MrShlee 3 points4 points ago

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[–]doug 2 points3 points ago

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not to mention it's the #1 viewed YTMND of all time next to How to Prank a Telemarketer.

[–]iCabbage 0 points1 point ago

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gaaah I hated htpat

[–]WhoMakesTheNazis 14 points15 points ago

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Christ man, there's hundreds of thousands of users on this site who don't all have the exact same frame of reference. Things are going to get re-posted. Get over it, and get over yourself as well.

[–]brownAir 13 points14 points ago

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Maybe 2007 was the last time you read the reddiquette FAQ.

[–]Odusei 1 point2 points ago

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Really, I would have led with the recession, Andrew. Then I'd tell him about Keyboard Cat. It would blow his fucking mind.

[–]Cdresden 0 points1 point ago

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I'm with you my brother. Long live good-natured chiding of young, fresh-faced reposters! Death to those with their panties in bunches who take delight only in whining!

[–]omgwtfbbq69 1 point2 points ago

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Christ...listening to this is just as bad as reading what this dude typed for his post. http://www.reddit.com/r/reddit.com/comments/bdd1n/im_leaveing_reddit_hate_all_you_fuckers/

[–]kennyidaho -1 points0 points ago

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Somebody should do a dramatic reading of that - I would but my family would think I was nuts.

[–]jessiemail04 1 point2 points ago

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I laughed until I stopped

[–]cpplinuxdude 1 point2 points ago

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sorry for bringing up the elephant in the room but why did I just download 2.8 Megabytes of "site junk" to read a bit of text?

[–]Misio 1 point2 points ago

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Audio?

[–]cpplinuxdude 2 points3 points ago

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was it worth it? (yeah you guessed it, I'm one of those freaks without speakers)

[–]Misio 1 point2 points ago

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Yes, I would borrow some headphones.

[–]cpplinuxdude 0 points1 point ago

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wow it must really be life-altering then.

[–]InCraZPen 0 points1 point ago

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First time I saw it..I liked it..why all the downvotes.

What was the one like this a while ago? Same kind of voice, but I think there was an animation to it as well.

[–]nekteknik 2 points3 points ago

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I think this is what you're thinking of.

[–]InCraZPen 1 point2 points ago

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exactly.

Thank you.

[–]twotoonies 0 points1 point ago

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My name is Chris.

[–]User38691 0 points1 point ago

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I just came across it in this topic, maybe people will like the other ones too.

[–]RobotBuddha 0 points1 point ago

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And then I left earth for no raisin!

[–]Teaboy 0 points1 point ago

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This seems to load to 65% and then crash Firefox. I tried with Chrome and it crashed that too, but with more ads.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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this was great.

[–]M3hdi 0 points1 point ago

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Grammar Nazis, how do you like me now !!

[–]shanem 0 points1 point ago

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3M later....

[–]palalab 0 points1 point ago

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And that, eventually, is how babby will form.

[–]ndchristie 0 points1 point ago

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I just love how much punctuation the guy had to add in just to make it readable.

[–]trogo 0 points1 point ago

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SP*

[–]J_Sto 0 points1 point ago

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This is an everlasting classic. Best dramatic reading ever.

[–]elky25 0 points1 point ago

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Usually a repost would miss me OFF but i am soOOOOOOOOOO happy cause i wanted to show my bro and BAM there it is!

[–]faultydesign 4 points5 points ago

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Ka-blam! And there you have it, folks.

[–]YarvinTheFish -1 points0 points ago

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This seems to make it to the front page every couple of weeks.

[–]spooz -1 points0 points ago

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