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top 200 commentsshow 500

[–]indescription 197 points198 points ago

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You forgot sex. I hate doing the same girl twice.

[–]MyAssIsSore 93 points94 points ago

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False

[–]DAL82 110 points111 points ago

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Judging by your username I'd guess it'd take you 50% longer to get bored.

[–]malefic_puppy 26 points27 points ago

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Actually, wouldn't it be 100% longer?

[–]DoTheDew 27 points28 points ago

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Chicks have mouths too.

[–]hiS_oWn 2 points3 points ago

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then wouldn't it be 200%

[–]ButImUsingMyWholeAss 2 points3 points ago

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Twice is great, three times is okay, four or more usually involves a relationship discussion

[–]JWFokker 22 points23 points ago

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You can make it tolerable if you just don't use the same hole twice. For most girls, three's the limit with that method, but some have those really big gauge ear lobe holes/plugs...

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points ago

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Giggity?

/Don't know; haven't tried it yet.

[–]Zunger 4 points5 points ago

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Giggity?! I'm pretty sure quagmire showed us where the extra hole on a girl is.. I don't quite recall, but I believe it was somewhere in the region of the kidneys. But you have to believe it's there to actually see it.

4th hole - SFW

[–]Autopsy15 1 point2 points ago

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Back of the KNEEEE!!!

[–]NikhilVerma 10 points11 points ago

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It's sill sex with humans ? You should have said you hate doing the same species twice ... haha

[–]seanmharcailin 6 points7 points ago

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i hear its better the second time, you do the weird stuff.

[–]absentbird 4 points5 points ago

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We do the weird stuff

[–]IJCQYR 5 points6 points ago

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Yeah, why would you want to keep putting the penis in and out so many times over and over???

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

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There's a problem there...you would have to do the same girl once first.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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yet after all this time your moms still good

[–]sericg5 143 points144 points ago

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I thought the "JELLYFISHES -- REDDIT.COM" at the bottom was pretty hilarious. I guess we'll just have to wait and see if it shows up on digg.

[–][deleted] 126 points127 points ago

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"AwesomeGuy42 -- DIGG.COM"

[–]jcm267 43 points44 points ago*

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I logged into digg and buried that submission as a duplicate.

[–]pencapchew_3 20 points21 points ago

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wth? How did that happen? I thought FratBro was making a joke.

[–]jellyfishes[S] 31 points32 points ago

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He was. Then jcm267 made the joke into reality.

[–]LordCrap 25 points26 points ago

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I like it when Digg serves for the sole purpose of a reddit joke!

[–]Forbizzle 2 points3 points ago

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Or adds to this joke, as people are so upset that it's been "stolen" from reddit when the entire submission was targetted at resubmissions to begin with.

[–]Takteek 2 points3 points ago

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Should have gone for a repeating watermark across the entire image.

[–]boccage 4 points5 points ago

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Digg people will think this is funny too. I'm not exactly sure what you're trying to prove. Of course reddit had this first. It was made for reddit by a reddit-er.

[–]jcm267 3 points4 points ago

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I'm not trying to prove anything. I just went over to digg and buried FratBro's submission.

[–]FallingForward 19 points20 points ago

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Yeah, it's not like it's possible to get that black text off of the white background.

[–]knullcon 20 points21 points ago

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No one said it wasn't possible, but you will need some kind of computer application whose sole job it is to make modifications to imagery.

[–]jcm267 6 points7 points ago

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Such as MS Paint!

[–]malefic_puppy 11 points12 points ago

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Don't be ridiculous, everybody knows that mspaint was an inside job.

[–]flostre 6 points7 points ago

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[–]EzDi 5 points6 points ago

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Or better yet, see if some guy will steal it from digg, post it to reddit, get dumped on for reposting and then bust out the mspaint to make a statement.

[–]Ron_Mexico_MD 129 points130 points ago

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Just for the record, NASCAR does suck

[–]bw1870 45 points46 points ago

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Even the first lap sucks.

[–]Lut3s 7 points8 points ago

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Gotta hand it to the wrecks though, those are mostly cool.

[–]Dean_Moriarty 217 points218 points ago

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Dude, you like Nascar? No wonder you like re-posted shit.

[–]ed19 82 points83 points ago

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Yeah, around that point i started being confused whether he was for or against reposts.

[–]jellyfishes[S] 41 points42 points ago

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I didn't say anything about liking any of those things.

[–]DoTheDew 25 points26 points ago

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Um...grapes are pretty fuckin good. Just sayin.

[–]jellyfishes[S] 63 points64 points ago

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I didn't say anything about not liking any of those things, either.

[–]straw_hat 82 points83 points ago

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It sounds like you're either trying to become a Supreme Court Justice or White House Press Secretary.

[–]constipated_HELP 11 points12 points ago

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...but nascar really sucks. Do you actually like that crap?

[–]jellyfishes[S] 19 points20 points ago

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I think NASCAR is a waste of fossil-fuel resources.

[–][deleted] 12 points13 points ago

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Ah, i see now. You are attempting to show the duality of man by showing us how much you can love and hate reposts at the same time.

[–]thegenerousgiant 3 points4 points ago

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Non-Athletic Sport Created Around Rednecks...

[–]ShawnGupta 725 points726 points ago*

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Hey guys! Look what I just found.

http://i.imgur.com/rMMhk.png

[–]MaybeRacist 163 points164 points ago

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nice find

[–][deleted] 98 points99 points ago

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thats pretty funny...though I thought this was kinda cooler

[–][deleted] 283 points284 points ago

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DAE click on both links, knowing full well what the end result would be?

[–]iamthejoker420 135 points136 points ago

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Yup sure did

[–]proudcanadianeh 10 points11 points ago

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I honestly expected a rick roll at some point.

[–]HighlandFencer 10 points11 points ago

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[–]HighlandFencer 6 points7 points ago

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Fuck you! Someone already did that. you lame bastard.

[–]TheProphetMuhammad 46 points47 points ago

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[–]CannedMango 43 points44 points ago*

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I swear to god himself that this is a Rick Roll…

[–]ctrlaltninja 49 points50 points ago

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YOU LYING BASTARD!!!

[–]ProductOfSociety 14 points15 points ago

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well, he did swear to god himself...

[–]fuh_Q 6 points7 points ago

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Well then get to it CannedMango, God yourself.

[–]emarus 4 points5 points ago

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Anti-rick rolls?! This is a new level altogether!

[–]phormality 19 points20 points ago

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DAE click on both links, knowing full well what the end result would be?

[–]ultrafetzig 6 points7 points ago

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One stupider... I actually saw the exact same links pre'd in the status bar but clicked anyway. And upvoted based on my BAC. Haw.

[–]GPtheMag 7 points8 points ago

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I'm slightly drunk so I clicked the first one without any expectations. By the second one, I had a good idea.

[–]emptyvoices 1 point2 points ago

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Yeah. And I took the extra step of desperately searching for some kind of difference between the original and those thinking that there must be some kind of humorous discrepancy for him to post the link in the comments and get so many up-votes.

Bah...sleep deprivation

[–]slow_pretty 1 point2 points ago

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You're like the person trying to read every comment on every post.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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I was at least hoping they'd have attributed their username at the bottom.

[–]ShawnGupta 9 points10 points ago

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Holy shit, do you living in Seattle?

[–][deleted] 21 points22 points ago

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I get this a lot, but no I don't. I also the whole Seattle

[–]EzDi 13 points14 points ago

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Most of Seattle is accidentally.

[–]gruespoor 5 points6 points ago

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The rest perpendicularly.

[–]antipoet 2 points3 points ago

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Fucking Deja Vu.

[–]ShawnGupta 2 points3 points ago

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I was hoping this would turn into disco ball and everyone would post the imgur link.

[–]FallingForward 5 points6 points ago

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upvoted for bothering to re-upload the pic before submitting it again.

GIVE CREDIT TO THE ORIGINAL ARTIST, ASSHOLE

[–]IJCQYR 9 points10 points ago

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[–][deleted] 21 points22 points ago

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Wait till you see this: THE FRONT FELL OFF

[–]brawr 14 points15 points ago

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ugh repost

[–]nht007 4 points5 points ago

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Needs more jpeg compression.

[–]awesomerobot 2 points3 points ago

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wow you're awesome in MS paint!!2

[–]ahal89 229 points230 points ago

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Yeah, I pretty much hate all those things.

[–]mostlyaverage 117 points118 points ago

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Especially grapes.. God they make me angry!!

[–]vurplesun 165 points166 points ago

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Stop eating the Grapes of Wrath.

[–][deleted] 23 points24 points ago

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I see what you did there...but why the sour grapes?

[–]mabelfoo 18 points19 points ago

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Pun threads are grape fun!

[–]torpid 38 points39 points ago

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HA HA ha h aa a a ... I'm going to grape you.

[–][deleted] 30 points31 points ago

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...IN THE MOUTH

[–]christopheles 20 points21 points ago

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Grape is never funny.

[–]MonkeysDontEvolve 17 points18 points ago

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Unless it's statutory grape.

[–]monmonmon 8 points9 points ago

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This is hurting my mind grapes...

[–]ed19 12 points13 points ago

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Seriously, fuck grapes. Unless they're seedless, then they're ok.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points ago

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I don't think I've ever eaten a grape with a seed in it.

[–]FakeHipster 11 points12 points ago

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then you havent really lived.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago*

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I've never eaten a pear either. Pears weird me out, dude. Where do you start? The top? The bottom? It's a weird looking thing.

[–]straw_hat 4 points5 points ago

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which is really weird, when you think about it.

[–]tapnclick 28 points29 points ago

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Grapes are great if you're really hungry and want 200 of something.

sorry mitch

[–]Scrode 6 points7 points ago

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dont even get me started on those damn raisins!

[–]CheffPwnsauce 2 points3 points ago

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Technically those are still grapes...

[–]Scrode 11 points12 points ago

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just the idea of raisins infuriates me. Wrinkly grapes? No.

[–]mabelfoo 7 points8 points ago

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Thanks for raisin that good point.

[–]Hopontopofus 6 points7 points ago

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Can we turn this thread back to currant affairs?

[–]teabaguk 4 points5 points ago

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Quit your wineing!

[–]hollimer 1 point2 points ago

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But it's the fruit of hope! Each one is an opportunity!

[–]fricken 28 points29 points ago

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I'll try any of them once though.

[–]atheist_creationist 41 points42 points ago*

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Hmm this gives me a new idea for an expensive product. Its called "THE RANDOM! SNACK PACK." You'll basically get a grape, a fried pork rind, a chocolate truffle, a reese's peanut butter cup, a couple gummy bears, a hot Cheeto, one of those awesome freeze dried mangos, a Sun chip, a Mentos, a pita chip, some fried edamame, a Ferrero Rocher, a Captain Crunch piece, quarter of a Power Bar, and other assorted niceties. The tagline? "FOR THE PERSON WHO CAN'T EAT THE SAME THING TWICE!"

[–]antipoet 14 points15 points ago

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Ahem, a couple gummy bears?

*PS, it is actually a great idea.

[–]elizinthemorning 13 points14 points ago

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Obviously they are different flavors!

[–]ClerkyLurky 7 points8 points ago

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Gummy bears have flavours? Colours maybe.

[–]osheallen 18 points19 points ago

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It's got Purple. Purple is a fruit.

[–]Check_Your_Facts 2 points3 points ago

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Yeah, I red that somewhere.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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No, but, see, one could be a gummy bear, and the other could be a gummy but like one of those really tough gummy WORMS. Totally different ends of the gummy-spectrum.

[–]tommis 24 points25 points ago

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Product sounds nice, but you would probably not be able to have any repeat customers.

[–]hellafun 8 points9 points ago

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Where can I purchase your amazing snack invention sir? Also, I hope you have future amazing snack packs planned? Lord knows I will not buy or eat the same one twice.

[–]MooFu 5 points6 points ago

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I've got a couple of packages worth under my couch cushions. You can have it all.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

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Don't forget the funions

[–]khamul 2 points3 points ago

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How to tell if a person is high, in 3... 2... 1...

[–]Nickbou 2 points3 points ago

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Include one Bugle, and I'll place my order.

[–]optiontrader1138 1 point2 points ago

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You need to include the occasional truffle which shoots spikes out of the sides of the eater's mouth.

[–]88leo 1 point2 points ago

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I think I have one of those stuck in my throat right now!

[–]gruespoor 1 point2 points ago

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The kids pack has a goldfish cracker in it.

[–]ani625 24 points25 points ago

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Yeah, one grape.

[–]myinnervoice 14 points15 points ago

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Can I get a price check on one grape? Yeah, you heard me. One measly, stinkin grape.

[–]Tyaedalis 6 points7 points ago

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Betcha can't eat just one! ~ Frito-Lay North America, Inc.

[–]wiggin50 15 points16 points ago

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Nice try Frito-... Never mind. Carry on.

[–]Pufflekun 6 points7 points ago

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Oh yeah? Well you just lost the bet, buddy, because I did eat just one grape, and then I decided that I'd rather buy a gigantic box of Pringles to snack on instead.

[–]jerstud56 6 points7 points ago

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Wait....a box? Where did you get some square Pringles?

[–]rhllor 2 points3 points ago

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Did your hand fit inside the Pringles tube? Or did you have to use lube?

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points ago

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[–]clarkcb 4 points5 points ago

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Yep, and even though the reasons were supposed to be sarcastic they pretty much described exactly why I hate those things.

[–]ferrx 94 points95 points ago

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I laughed so hard I fell off my dinosaur the first time I saw this!

[–][deleted] 48 points49 points ago

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This joke again?

[–]warnerrr 1 point2 points ago

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Did you break your wooden underwear?

[–]ineverupvote 47 points48 points ago

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I'm reposting this next week.

[–]jellyfishes[S] 7 points8 points ago

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Go for it. Don't expect me to vote it up, though :)

[–]deadfrank 21 points22 points ago

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FUCK YOU, GRAPES!

[–]cookiexcmonster 12 points13 points ago

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My favorite fruit is grapes. Because with grapes, you always get another chance. ‘Cause, you know, if you have a crappy apple or a peach, you’re stuck with that crappy piece of fruit. But if you have a crappy grape, no problem – just move on to the next. ‘Grapes: The Fruit of Hope.

[–]NancyGracesTesticles 7 points8 points ago

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"
- Demetri Martin

[–]burnblue 2 points3 points ago

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Glad you like fruits, cause u know, cookie is a sometimes food

[–]pegothejerk 1 point2 points ago

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in the mouth.

[–]gmale9000[!] 18 points19 points ago

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I'm not sure Nascar strengthens your point.

[–]pegothejerk 1 point2 points ago

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come on.. who doesn't like a little nascar, fishing show, and quantum entanglement in the morning?

[–][deleted] ago*

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[deleted]

[–]moregarbage 59 points60 points ago

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You know what would make nascar awesome... A right turn or two.

[–]Uncle_Sammy 154 points155 points ago

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Dale Earnhardt tried that... didnt work out so well.

[–]moregarbage 9 points10 points ago

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Touché (... ellipsis added for consistency)

[–]jb611 2 points3 points ago

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Back when pokémon was the shit my friend showed me it

alt + 01257

havé fun

[–]Roxinos 4 points5 points ago

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Or Alt+0233. Or Alt+130.

[–]Dean_Moriarty 7 points8 points ago

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Also maybe less cars, and less racing and more interesting things.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points ago

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You absolutely right. I hate all that shit.

[–]Aerik 13 points14 points ago

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It's not that it's a repeat.

It's the pretending that the repeat is new and fresh. It isn't.

Seriously. Redditors' favorite hobby these days is going through bookmarks of images, rehosting to imgur, and reposting to reddit as if they had just found it and the bookmark wasn't working.

[–]mleland 38 points39 points ago

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I come to "reddit.com: what's new online!" because I want to see what is new online. That's why people complain about reposts.

[–]rpdmatt 20 points21 points ago

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This is a very valid point.

[–]pegothejerk 7 points8 points ago

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You know what else? He has a point that is valid.

[–]CockBlocker 13 points14 points ago

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A short list of things that are valid:

  1. His point

[–]mig174 8 points9 points ago

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I agree with him on that Nascar bullshit.

[–]misterlogan 3 points4 points ago

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god damn it, you know this is getting posted every day forever now right?

[–]Kisses_McMurderTits 14 points15 points ago*

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True enough. Although there's a difference between reposting quality material because you and/or others haven't seen it, and purposefully reposting something that was on the front page only a few days prior. Believe it or not, the latter tends to happen quite a lot.

Also, I bet this exact same image will be reposted within the next 2-3 days and receive just as much, if not more, karma... Haha!

[–]KingOfFlan 2 points3 points ago

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" JUST A REMINDER: Hannity still hasn't been waterboarded!!!!!"

[–]TwistedRabbit 19 points20 points ago

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They really hate double posts.

[–]TwistedRabbit 42 points43 points ago

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They really hate double posts

[–]ultrafetzig 3 points4 points ago

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Then they must really hate double posts.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

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Precisely. They really hate double posts.

[–]nicholaslee 2 points3 points ago

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But do they really hate double posts?

[–]Khendroc 3 points4 points ago

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Haha, very nice. I like how you saved the best for last.

[–]ConwayPA 3 points4 points ago

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Look forward to seeing this posted by me in about 5 hours!

[–]qwentch 3 points4 points ago

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Reading responses to Descartes's Meditations, I noticed an objection which rang a bell:

But since Plato and other ancient philosophers have discussed this same uncertainty in sensible things, and since it is commonly observed that there is a difficulty in distinguishing waking from dreams, I would have preferred the author, so very distinguished in the realm of new speculations, not to have published these old things.

Even Descartes was met with "REPOST!!1!"

[–]rooch84 10 points11 points ago

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"reddit.com: what's new online" Not "reddit.com: see the same thing over and over again"

[–]Raptorace22 6 points7 points ago

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Shit that was posted a year ago is fine. But when it shows up every 3 days... that shit just gets old.

[–]jenzthename 9 points10 points ago

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Forgot to mention doublemint twins.

[–]sam480 3 points4 points ago

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I just break one in half and then throw away the rest of the pack.

[–]Aachor 8 points9 points ago*

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I do hate:

  • Re-runs
  • Déjá-vu
  • Nascar
  • Exercise
  • Reposts

Still photography doesn't count imo...it's eye-candy. Grapes are fruit candy. Exercise is not candy. When I'm in the mood for candy, candy is good.

If a website is good, I'll bookmark it. Reposts are pointless.

[–]13ren 2 points3 points ago

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rice

[–]DB_ag 2 points3 points ago

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Dude, I fucking saw this on imgur mere moments before you put this on reddit. If you're going to fucking post something ALREADY ON THE INTERNET then GDIAF

[–]cute_troll 2 points3 points ago

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[–]vicviper 2 points3 points ago

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In all fairness NASCAR does suck pretty bad.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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Or conversely, people who like reposts must really like karma.

(I don't mind if something shows up a month later, but really. The iPad was released. You might want to do a search and see if someone submitted the same article, karma whore.) :)

[–]HYPEractive 2 points3 points ago

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waiting for the repost with credit cropped out on Digg.

[–]FiL-dUbz 2 points3 points ago

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WTF?! This guy posts this picture, then immediately post's an AMA describing how he's the one that posted this MS Paint piece of crap... a karma whore to the fullest!

[–]RichAromas 2 points3 points ago

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Isn't this a repost?

[–][deleted] ago*

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[deleted]

[–]BobbleBobble 5 points6 points ago

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Oh come on don't be daft, we don't hate reposts, we hate you obviously karma-whoring with reposts five days olds

[–]squigs 6 points7 points ago

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Yeah, everyone prefers it when a TV station shows the shit we saw a few months ago over something new. And the feeling of deja vu is thrilling, having this vague irritating feeling but knowing at one level it's just your mind playing tricks on you. I for one hate to take new photos when I have a collection. NASCAR is clearly the most thrilling sport EVAR, and the fun and variety of running on the spot is the only reason anyone exercises.

Of course, if I enjoyed last year's hallowe'en then I can just look in the holiday archive and re-read it.

You make a good point about the grapes.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

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All would be humorously salient points if the whole fucking point of social media weren't the discovery and dissemination of fresh content.

[–]a0t0f 7 points8 points ago

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pretty accurate, i do hate deja vu, nascar, holidays and reposts

[–]hackysack 2 points3 points ago*

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"recurring holidays" - Which holidays aren't?

[–]Iznik 3 points4 points ago

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[–]jellyfishes[S] 1 point2 points ago

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Sometimes I'm redundant, sometimes I just repeat myself.

[–]coveritwithgas 1 point2 points ago

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Haters gonna hate.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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last week when I came here there were posts just like these! Some were even witty....LAST WEEK!

You're probably gonna down vote me again, just like last week. Can't you even try to be original?

[–]maxmax 1 point2 points ago

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Yeah, and just because I've found something cool and bookmarked it, doesn't mean I don't want to find it and bookmark it again! Two bookmarks are better than one! Or even better, just because I've found something and decided it was lame, doesn't mean I don't want to not bookmark it again! Not bookmarking! Hurrah!

[–]pennyroyal 1 point2 points ago

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I think the social element of getting positive karma is the main factor in some people freaking out over it.

[–]RobJackson28 1 point2 points ago

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God damn, this was posted 2 months ago. WTF RAWR RAMPAGE

[–]arcadefiery 1 point2 points ago

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hmm, logical fallacies, as usual

[–]pookavillage 1 point2 points ago

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Your points are invalid.

But I do hate nascar and re-runs, good luck with your karma whoring.

[–]jabb0 1 point2 points ago

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If I could mega upvote, I would

[–]kstrike155 1 point2 points ago

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I love how the OP mentions exercise as a once-a-week activity. Priceless.

[–]PoopingOnReddit 1 point2 points ago

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I'm pooping while I read this

[–]evildeadxsp 1 point2 points ago

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I can't wait to repost this tomorrow :D

[–]MrOhHi 1 point2 points ago

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I actually have amnesia, so I enjoy everything as though it's my first time!

[–]awesomeideas 1 point2 points ago

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TV land reruns, still photography, NASCAR, exercise, holidays, and grapes don't push anything else away.

BTW, I do hate NASCAR.

[–]pudds 1 point2 points ago

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Reddit isn't like any of those things.

For instance, when I tune into the schedule time for my favorite show, I DO get annoyed when it turns out to be a re-run. When I tune into DejaView, I EXPECT a re-run.

Reddit is more like a PVR - I can save what I want, but otherwise, I have no interest in having the same things get recorded over any over.

[–]Psychomedic 1 point2 points ago

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"reddit: what's new online!"