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all 177 comments

[–]mackman 468 points469 points ago

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I was hanging Christmas lights aided by the glow of my car's headlights when some jerk turned off the lights. I fell off my ladder and broke my arm. I was going to drive myself to the hospital but the ass had locked my keys in and left some stupid note to rub it in. The world is full of assholes.

[–]M0b1u5 43 points44 points ago

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Once in Queenstown, New Zealand when I had just moved there in 1989, I left my bike downtown. Nothing unusual there I guess, except...

I was stoned off my face, and I had left the keys in my brand new GSX-R1100(RJ), as well as the headlight on, and my magnetic tank bag just sitting on the gas tank. In the bag was a brand new SLR camera, a bag of very nice buds, some cash, and various other bits and pieces, too.

I was gone for about 2 hours.

In Christchurch (my home town) the bike would have been gone in less than 5 minutes. But not in Queenstown.

When I returned the the bike it was where I left it, minus the tank bag and keys. A small note was stuffed between the tank and the seat, and it said something like this:

"We noticed that your lights were on, so we came to turn them off for you, and found your keys and bag also. So we took them out to stop someone stealing your stuff, and you may collect it at [Store Name] directly across the road. Have a great day!

[Store workers name]"

So I went over the road, to claim my stuff, half expecting to find the pot, or the money gone, but it was all in place.

I wonder if they'd still do that in Queenstown in 2009?

[–][deleted] 25 points26 points ago

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Ive got a zzr1200, the only thing you'd catch me doing on it while stoned, is sitting on it in the garge, making "vroom vroom" sounds while watching CHiPs.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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When you brought up the part where the bike would be gone in 5 minutes kicked off a nostalgic memory when I was little. I was visiting Taiwan and my old friend told me how in his neighborhood there are usually kids trying to steal his bike by breaking the locks and whatnot. (Garages are a luxury) I jokingly told him since it occurs a lot in his neighborhood we should have a sting where we place the bike in open grounds and wait for the perp while we brandish our BB guns and baseball bats (we were waiting indoors); we also had a camera as evidence We were pumped up and psyched for the first few hours at around 11:30 p.m. then we waited til 3 a.m. and we were exhausted as hell from standing and waiting. Finally this middle aged guy in a wife beater shows up and looks at the bike, I got the camera to record and we were locking and loading when one of the friend said to stop. Turns out we were about to beat the crap out of his dad. He demanded to know what was going on and we just told him we were just chillin. Never got the culprit but it engraved us with fond memories.

[–]webarama 0 points1 point ago

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Why don't you do a test, and report back here with your findings?

[–]zyb09 21 points22 points ago

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you aren't supposed to hang them at night

[–]robotnixon 127 points128 points ago

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You are if its not your house.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]indycysive 2 points3 points ago

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You are if its not your house... sir?

[–]nobodyspecial 3 points4 points ago

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You're right. You hang assholes at high noon.

[–]BritishEnglishPolice -5 points-4 points ago

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You want some punctuation, big shot?

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points ago

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I was going to be that person, to do that good deed and write that note, but...

When I noticed the head lights on, I tried opening the passenger-side door, but it was locked and the car alarm went off. It just so happened that at the exact moment a police officer was driving by, and he arrested me on the spot as he thought I was trying to break in to the car. And to make matters worse, the car's headlights automatically switched off after a few minutes. I watched them switch off as I was sitting in the back of the squad car, handcuffed. FML.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]doenietzomoeilijk 12 points13 points ago

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That is kinda backwards. There's probably a reason for it, but still.

Note to self: when finding a wallet in Japan, stick it in an envelope (an orange one, of course) and drop it in the police station's mailbox.

[–]lynn 2 points3 points ago

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WTF were they thinking? Who's dumb enough...

Wait. Don't answer that. I know there's somebody out there stupid enough to steal a wallet and then bring it to the police station with a couple hundred dollars cash in it....But come on, isn't it much more likely that they just found it? Take their name and other information and let them go. Jeez.

[–]fofgrel 1 point2 points ago

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There is an obligatory link that belongs here. It's in regards to turning a cell phone into the police station. But I cannot find it. Hopefully someone else can produce it?

[–]aeck 3 points4 points ago

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[–]fofgrel 0 points1 point ago

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That's the one. Thank you.

[–]aeck 2 points3 points ago

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I hope it brightens your day that Reddit isn't full of selfish people.

[–]OuchLOLcom 20 points21 points ago

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I didn't leave my lights on, locked my door and my car got robbed. This doesn't brighten my day.

[–]supersocialist 15 points16 points ago

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I am always sad/angry with myself for not turning off peoples' lights for them, not even trying the door handle. I remember when I was a kid seeing my dad do it, because he'd want somebody to do it for him. Of course I had an alarm go off in my face the first and only time I tried it. Horrifying!

[–]keyforce 11 points12 points ago

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Personally, imo if it isn't your car, don't touch it. You could be doing someone a favor, you could also find yourself with a lot of explaining to do.

I always lock my doors, but I'd rather not have someone search for an unlocked door and enter my car whether the lights were on or not.

[–]elyse32 2 points3 points ago

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I used to chase people down when I noticed they left their lights on, very helpful until lights began automatically turning off. That was embarrassing.

[–]charleyface 3 points4 points ago

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Meh, do it anyway. People ignore car alarms nowadays. :)

[–]just_quit_smoking 12 points13 points ago

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may as well steal some shit while you're in there.

[–]pavel_lishin 73 points74 points ago

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What about the note under it, from the car owner?

"Thanks, but the key that starts the car doesn't actually open the doors. The key that opens the doors is at the bottom of Lake Michigan, so I've been leaving my car unlocked."

[–]underdog138 16 points17 points ago

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Damn kids and their Camaros, always losing the door key.

[–]khaoticsanity 0 points1 point ago

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If I could upvote you more than once I would. I understand the logic for having separate keys but I still hate carrying more then one key.

[–]Etab 6 points7 points ago

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I know I always leave notes to strangers on my car.

[–]doenietzomoeilijk 42 points43 points ago

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I found a wallet the other day, but instead of just taking the money and dumping the rest, I traced the owner (lovely old lady) and returned it to her. Did I fear that if I didn't go through the trouble of reuniting wallet and owner, someone else would just take the money and dump the wallet? Hell yeah.

I'm pretty sure there's plenty of honest people out there. Problem is, it just takes one dishonest one to make wallets or cars disappear.

On a slightly related note: is it Reddit FeelGood Story Season? Not that I mind, I like all that heartwarming stuff.

[–]grigri 31 points32 points ago

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[–]jtablerd 13 points14 points ago

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We will cook and eat their hearts!!

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]grigri 0 points1 point ago

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Added custom rule to stylish:

@namespace url(http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml);

@-moz-document domain("www.reddit.com") {
  a.author[href$=suto]:before {
    content: url(http://i.imgur.com/7OBPV.png);
    width: 35px; height: 40px;
  }
}

[–]sk3tch 11 points12 points ago

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[–]doenietzomoeilijk 7 points8 points ago

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Is there ANY subject in the world for which there isn't a subreddit? It's not exactly /r/heartwarming yet, but it is nice and positive. Thanks for pointing it out. =]

[–]lynn 8 points9 points ago

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It's like Rule 34 for reddit: If it exists, there's a subreddit for it.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

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I had to check. It could have been such beautiful irony. But it exists: http://www.reddit.com/r/rule34

[–]pavs 5 points6 points ago

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I upvoted you, if it makes you happy. :)

[–]doenietzomoeilijk 4 points5 points ago

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Incredibly. I returned the favour. =]

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]pavs 0 points1 point ago

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I wanna ride that train, if you know what I mean.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]HellsKitchen 0 points1 point ago

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Considering the current /r/rule34 has tugboat porn...now I'm wondering about train porn. What is with the fetish for vehicles of transportation?

[–]exhorder 0 points1 point ago

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I would have pocketed the cash.

I'm a rotten son-of-a-bitch.

[–]columbine 185 points186 points ago*

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It was a rather courteous note until the "hope it brightens your day" sentence at which point it became an ego trip for the author. I mean is humility dead or something? Like, do you people lean over and say "I bet people like me really make your day brighter" with a wink when you pay for your bus fare in exact change? Surely you would realise how arrogant and egotistical it would make you sound if you did. You're not doing the other person a favour by saying things like that, you're boasting about yourself, and it's not polite. Gifts and favours are supposed to be given and done with humility, not with overt pride, and certainly not with overt pride towards the recipient.

[–]allenizabeth 21 points22 points ago

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That's exactly what I thought...way to toot your own horn, buddy.

[–]timothyjc 61 points62 points ago*

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there is no such thing as true altruism... everything is self motivated.

also, please post a sub comment to this one if you think I'm awesome. thanks.

[–]sheerheartattack 2 points3 points ago

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I have been saying this for years, but I have found that it often just gets you yelled at. The philosopher's lament.

[–]chesterjosiah 8 points9 points ago

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Respectfully disagree. Martyrdom, for example, is almost never self motivated. When a soldier dies for his/her country, or when a parent dies for his/her child, that is almost always purely others-focused. Sure there are cases where one could selfishly die for someone else (?) but there is certainly a such thing as true altruism.

[–]brotherbear 51 points52 points ago*

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Self-motivated actions are more subtle than I think you are putting them forth to be.

In the case of the soldeir who dies for his country, he dies not for other people but because he wishes to defend his country, which is to what he believes his country to be. He dies for his particularly brand of worldview--he dies trying to preserve something that he loves; the argument then being that if he is thinking of this when he dies for his country, he's not dying for anyone or anything but his own self and feelings.

When a parent sacrifices their life for their child, are they really thinking of their child or are they overtaken by their baser instincts to perpetuate their progeny? Is it love or evolutionary imperative that takes ahold of their bodies in that split second it takes to make the ultimate decision? Or even, is love just a product of evolution, used to bring about the necessary motivations to preserve one's hereditary line?

The basic tenet of Egoism is that because you are an individual you cannot do non-individual acts--it's physically impossible to do an action that you do not measure in respect to its effects on you. Thus, altruism can only be aspired to but never actualized.

Read Hobbes if your interest is piqued; this is his thing after all.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

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The basic tenet of Egoism is that because you are an individual you cannot do non-individual acts--it's physically impossible to do an action that you do not measure in respect to its effects on you. Thus, altruism can only be aspired to but never actualized.

Your conclusion is contained within your premise.

Do you suppose Hobbes didn't know what "question-begging" was?

[–]chesterjosiah 3 points4 points ago

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My interest is piqued, and I must admit I've never read Hobbes beyond the basic Philosophy 101 surface, and I don't remember even that, as it was years back. Thanks for your thoughtful response!

[–]helleborus 4 points5 points ago

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Self-motivated actions are more subtle than I think you are putting them forth to be.

I can think of instances when I have been really embarrassed because people thanked me for things, saying "that's so nice of you!" - because I know it wasn't (nice of me). I was either seeking the little pat-myself-on-the-back of doing a good deed, or else whatever situation I tried to relieve was bothering me so much that helping out was clearly purely selfish. It can certainly be said that strong empathy is a "good" trait, but it clearly isn't unselfish.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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I get embarrassed when people accredit my children being (smart, good, mannered) to me. I usually say, "I didn't do it, she did." Parenting has it's own twists and turns of selfishness, the truth is I don't want to take any smidgen of credit for what they do with my help...because I don't want to look like a glory hog to my kids...even if I did help with half the project. I want them to look at me and think, "Mom loves us so much, she makes us look better than we are." So far, it's working.

[–]satereader 1 point2 points ago

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I always hated this about some parents. Usually the good stuff is all them, the bad stuff results in some feeble disclaimer like 'this isn't how I raised x'.

[–]satereader 0 points1 point ago

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I think you're a bit confused about why people are saying thank you. It isn't because they think you're a being of perfect altruistic moral fiber. Usually what it really means is 'thanks for being the kind of person who is able able see value in the little 'pat on the back' '

[–]dustydiary 0 points1 point ago

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Yep, I agree; you're honest. I like to do nice things, too, but I am aware that they are indeed motivated by some sort of self-interest. And ultimately I think that's OK. Nice things get done; I get my little reward.

[–]antimatter3009 2 points3 points ago

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Or even, is love just a product of evolution, used to bring about the necessary motivations to preserve one's hereditary line?

I really feel that philosophy in general goes to great lengths to examine and explain things that could be explained with one word: evolution.

Not that I don't find philosophy interesting. Just that, in the end, I think nearly every thought and behavior can be explained through a combination of biology and history.

[–]diablosinmusica 0 points1 point ago

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Evolution is not anymore of an answer than "God did it". I don't know of anything that can be fully explained in one word.

[–]satereader 1 point2 points ago

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not explained per se but summarized as perhaps. Evolution refers to a large set of explanations and an evidence-based testable paradigm. God refers to magic. Certainly I might say the existent species on earth are all a product of history and evolution.

[–]diablosinmusica 0 points1 point ago

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Maybe my comparison was too harsh. I just meant that evolution is too brad to be used as a one word explanation for anything. I guess I am just being anal tho.

[–]antimatter3009 -1 points0 points ago

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satereader got about what I meant. It's not that you should dismiss questions with a one word answer, it's just that many (most? all?) answers are going to be along the lines of, "evolution, and here's why." In other words, the difference between god and evolution is that god is the answer, no explanation needed, whereas evolution is the answer because science and reasoning have brought us to that conclusion. We can explain the science and reasoning when questioned (or at least give theories). No one can explain god.

[–]HellsKitchen 0 points1 point ago

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Yeah thanks for your thoughtful response however it is not exactly the truth. First of all you imply that your own country somehow consists of just oneself. If you're dead, it consists of everyone but you. This holds for all sorts of societal levels both smaller and greater than a nation.

Maybe it is bothersome for some but yes all sorts of love are products of evolution, that certainly does not make them non-altruistic, it just points out that you and your genetics are part of a much larger system. If anything it argues for altruism, especially since in social societies organisms die for a lot more than their hereditary lines. Humans and other caring social animals like primates and elephants take in orphans that might not technically be blood related but are at least of the same species and society.

Destroying your own existence for others is the ultimate disregard of anything purely of yourself for something else's existence. If you want to argue that in some way each one of us is inextricably connected with everything else just by existence and there is no way to break one's ties with the rest of the universe because of the individual's effect on it, then all you would be doing is condoning widespread altruism, even if it is not absolute.

[–]diablosinmusica 0 points1 point ago

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I think you miss the point that a martyr sacrifices their self because of the way they feel. One way to look at it is that the martyr's ego could not take the compromise so they choose to die for their principals. I don't think that is wrong, but I think that it strips away the humanity of the person to say that they weren't doing what they felt was the best with their life.

[–]timprague 15 points16 points ago

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Not to rain on your parade but there is a biological reason (genetic) for saving your child at the expense of your life.

[–]AngryData 4 points5 points ago

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What about saving someone of no blood relation?

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]vishalrix 1 point2 points ago

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Very true. And it seems a refutable theory so I'd buy it.

As I understand all thats needed to disprove your theory is to find one instance of some human who gave his/her life for some animal?

[–]Huxley47 2 points3 points ago

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All right. I also quite like Dawkins' work, but I think it is foolish to think that every bit of human behavior is guided by this evolutionary purpose to self-preserve your own genes. We've also got Intelligence and Reason, you know.

[–]hans1193 12 points13 points ago

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ITS A THEIST, GET HIM

HAIL SCIENCE

[–]satereader 2 points3 points ago

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to think that every bit of human behavior is guided by this evolutionary purpose to self-preserve your own genes

I think this is the wrong way to look at EP. We have intelligence and reason as well as emotions but all of that had to evolve for specific reasons. We're fortunate about things like reason because that lets us think and act outside of our own pov or base instinct. On this you are correct- our behavior often can't possibly be explained directly in darwinian terms. We commit darwinian suicide by sterilizing ourselves, limiting our offspring on purpose, buying porn instead of seeking a mate, making sacrifices we know will have no return value, etc..,

[–]leshiy 0 points1 point ago

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We've also got Intelligence and Reason, you know.

That too is debatable.

[–]chesterjosiah 1 point2 points ago

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Does those biological reasons make the sacrifice any less altruistic?

[–]brotherbear 0 points1 point ago

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I believe so; when your baser instincts control you, you--chesterjosiah--are no longer in the driver's seat. What ever actions you perform as your base self are not uniquely chestrjosiah. They are the same actions any other human would make. Because you are not independently, with all faculties posessed, choosing to selfishly help another human being, it is not altruism (as it is conventionally defined). Instead, it is some sort of imperative--a kneejerk reaction.

[–]satereader 0 points1 point ago

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However if you are correct then your argument is tautological and thus, does not really exist. If it is not possible to act 'altruistically' and everything is selfish then neither selfish nor unselfish mean anything. The fact that this argument exists and we're having suggests we're confusing different levels of discourse.

[–]DichardRawkins 0 points1 point ago

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If we define altruism as "an act which benefits others but not one's self," then yes.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Altruism is still theoretically possible if an act benefits you - as long as you would have done the same even if it didn't.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points ago

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Yes.

[–]omgpro 1 point2 points ago

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I don't see what difference it makes if it's genetic. It's still true altruism even if it is hardwired, is it not?

Regardless of that even, do you think that anyone does things completely because of their genetics? Those people are still somewhat in control of their actions, are they not? Do you think a parent that would die for his/her child would die for that same child if he/she didn't know whose child it was because the child was adopted after birth?

[–]Nebu 1 point2 points ago

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do you think that anyone does things completely because of their genetics? Those people are still somewhat in control of their actions, are they not?

We're getting into /r/philosophy here, but:

What does it mean to be "in control of their actions"? What causes your arm to move in such a manner? It was your muscles, right? What controls your muscles? It was your nervous system, right? What caused your neurons to fire in this particular sequence? Well, we have laws of physics and chemistry which explain exactly why your neurons fired in that particular pattern.

So are you "in control" in any sense, when the laws of physics dictate exactly what thoughts would be going through your mind at any given moment in time?

Why was your brain wired up the particular way it was wired? It was built that way from your DNA, which was passed on to you from your parents.

See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Determinism and http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nature_vs_nurture for more details.

[–]HellsKitchen 1 point2 points ago

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So are you "in control" in any sense, when the laws of physics dictate exactly what thoughts would be going through your mind at any given moment in time?

It's certainly hard to say whether you are ever "in control." But one important thing to note is that you at least feel like it; rather important since you feeling is something going on within the brain. But to address your point on physics, the "laws of physics" are a little loose once you get really small. First of all quantum mechanics involves a huge amount of probability clouds, and second of all their nature is not completely known to us even if we seem to have grasped them on a tiny scale mathematically for now, further complicating the progression towards a definitive unified theory of the universe which we do not currently have for a reason: we have no idea how to get there.

Why was your brain wired up the particular way it was wired? It was built that way from your DNA, which was passed on to you from your parents.

Not really....brain development is extraordinarily complicated and largely based on stimulus from the environment having very little to do with one's own DNA. Your genetics just get the ball of the brain rolling. And more importantly, DNA's primary role may be to pass stuff on from your parents but it's secondary job is to mix it up; mutation and sexual reproduction and so forth. You think the computers we are both using right now were accounted for by evolution? No, but our brains adapted.

[–]Nebu 2 points3 points ago

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brain development is extraordinarily complicated and largely based on stimulus from the environment having very little to do with one's own DNA. Your genetics just get the ball of the brain rolling. And more importantly, DNA's primary role may be to pass stuff on from your parents but it's secondary job is to mix it up; mutation and sexual reproduction and so forth.

Yes, but if you ignore Quantum Physics, then all of this (the stimulus from your environment, the way your parents' genes get mixed up, the mutations that occur, the sexual reproduction, etc.) is deterministic. If you don't ignore QP, then yes, things are more complicated.

You think the computers we are both using right now were accounted for by evolution?

To a certain degree, yes. Especially if you extend the ideas of evolution (primarily chance mutation and best-fit selection) to apply not only to genes, but also to memes.

Spiders build webs. Crows can use twigs. Beavers build dams. There are plenty of examples of animals using "technology". Is our usage of computers different on a qualitative degree, or merely on a quantitative one?

[–]HellsKitchen 2 points3 points ago

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Well...qualitative in that such an extraordinarily complex machine really never existed until late in the 20th century and it just means the brain is pretty good at changing, and there is basically zero evolution to account for our ability to use these machines, not make them. Spiders building webs is a little different because much of their knowledge is inherent even though I understand they have to adapt to the surrounding a lot. Crows are pretty smart for birds. Beavers building dams has been common for much longer than people knowing how to use computers. But yeah you're just saying other animals are good at adapting, too, and I agree. That doesn't mean adaptation is deterministic in any way. All I was saying is humans seemed to be the best at it.

[–]omgpro 1 point2 points ago

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I'm well aware of all of this, and I fall in the camp of compatible determinist.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Compatibilism_and_incompatibilism

You make a good point, really this argument about altruism is sort of an argument about determinism.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]omgpro 1 point2 points ago

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What you say is true. I strongly believe that what you define as yourself is both a mix of genetic knowledge and memorial knowledge. So if you're giving your life to save your child, I guess you are doing it to save a little part of yourself. This just really starts to get down into philosophy that no one knows for sure though.

How I see it, the child is only half of your genes and half of another person's genes, as well as its personal experiences. In addition, people's personalities and how they define themselves are often largely influenced by other people around them who have no blood connection.

It really just comes down to how you define true altruism. I feel like how you define altruism, and how I define the self makes altruism impossible, so there you go.

[–]jkb83 2 points3 points ago

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or you can let a bee sting you.

[–]hiS_oWn 0 points1 point ago

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glory, honor, respect.

[–]wedgiey1 0 points1 point ago

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Not that I want to jump in on the discussion you and others are having here; I find it interesting enough just to read it, but I think it would be helpful to define altruism. Because while altruistic actions could be self-motivated, I think there's a difference between "warm fuzzies" and overt benefit, "I'll do this because my girlfriend puts out when I donate to charity." Doing something for someone because it makes you feel good still falls under altruism in my book.

[–]cutmenot 0 points1 point ago

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I soldier dies for his or her country because they made a mistake, or our government made a mistake, and they were in the wrong place at the wrong time. It is a shame, and it sucks people die for this BS way, but it happens.

That has nothing to do with altruism and self motivated actions. The question is, why did they join the forces to begin with. That was either to get laid, to satisfy their dad, to get money, to get respect, to get off drugs, or otherwise, to benefit themselves in some way.

No person in their right mind, literally, no sane person, signs up for something in which the risk of death is very high, unless the personal potential for gain is grater than the fear they have of dying.

Basically, people who join the forces are probably pretty messed up to begin with, and the last people we really want defending our country, which. Ultimately these fights are for the protection of our personal liberties. Give that much power, and a gun to someone that must be unstable by mere virtue of joining, must be counterproductive to those very civil liberties we should be fighting for.

The best candidate for someone to join the forces, are those who least want to be there, certainly not volunteers.

[–]ifrit39 0 points1 point ago

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I disagree with this as well. At the heart of Martyrdom, is the hope that after your death, will be viewed as a hero or as a good person to those around you. It is self-serving because you get the appreciation and love of others through what appears to be complete altruism.

I think Brotherbear explained parental sacrifice well, but it could also be what I said above. Instinct + the need for society around you to view you as a good person = what we believe is altruism.

[–]Paul-ish 0 points1 point ago

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In martyring themselves for a cause they hope to live on forever.

I highly recommend you read The True Believer or The Rebel by Camus.

"There is no doubt that in exchanging a self-centered for a selfless life we gain enormously in self-esteem. The vanity of the selfless, even those who practice utmost humility, is boundless. " -Eric Hoffer

"Men are never really willing to die except for the sake of freedom: therefore they do not believe in dying completely." -Albert Camus

[–]oldcrow 0 points1 point ago

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Is it self motivated if I act the way I would wish someone else would act? By observing the Golden Rule, I'm just being consistent in observing reciprocity.

[–]timothyjc 1 point2 points ago

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You might know the book Godel Escher Bach which touches on this - Hofstadter called it superrationality and framed it in the context of the Prisoners' Dilema.

[–]oldcrow -1 points0 points ago

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Amazing book, I read it 15 years ago.

Thanks for bringing it up.. I need to re-read it.

[–]itstimetopaytheprice 0 points1 point ago

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Isn't there a Friends episode about that?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Demonstrate that this is a falsifiable hypothesis and maybe you've got something.

I don't think you can, ergo, I think you're wrong.

[–]cutmenot 0 points1 point ago

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I say this all the time, and so many people tell me I am a cynical ass and whatnot. I am ok with that. The best, I have a client who is a millionaire, this person is in an industry that all of us here know, and we all know the product this client sells.

Pretty big stuff here. I was at dinner with the client, we are friends. The things that went on and on about how donating this or that, and how it is so good to help others out. They day these things are done in a way that the accountant does not know about them, that there are ZERO personal gains, I may be able to get behind it.

Jesus H Christ on a popsicle stick, I can not even get behind the idea that I love my girlfriend just because. It's a trade, she does things for me I need, and I assume I do things for her she needs. I certainly am not getting her something for xmas because I want to. I couldn't care less. I am doing so because it is cheaper than the ramifications of not getting her a gift.

Cheaper financially, cheaper emotionally, cheaper in my time.

I do everything for myself, 100% of it, most people think I am a pretty nice guy too. This is a hard thing for many to come to terms with. I find those that clearly have no signs of depression and any other issues of that nature, can truly believe they are being altruistic.

[–]markV101 0 points1 point ago

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Like the "My Name is Earl" Tv show, for the reason of Karma, but Karma is not under anyones control, the altruism is not "dirty" as in selfish.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Not really.

[–]mortong 7 points8 points ago

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Have an upvote. I really hope it makes your day to know there are people like me who read and agree with what you have to say.

[–]wolof 7 points8 points ago

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i understand what you are trying to say, but doing good things are supposed to make you feel good, that's why they are good things.

I'd rather the person have the attitude displayed in the note then the opposite; "screw this dumb person for leaving their car unlocked, they're probably some stuck up asshole who doesn't know how to appreciate nice things, so they won't mind if i rob them"

[–]Bricci89 1 point2 points ago

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Aside from the ego boost, the other half of the favor was to have the other individual have a nicer perspective of the world...hell he "hopes it brightens" his day.

also when i do a good deed. i feel weird. Like making it a big deal is no longer about the act of good deed, but about ME instead. Random acts of kindness mean something to me...More than, what someone put it as "an anxiety happens when you witness a human being in peril, so you aid him to alleviate yourself" but my perspective of the world needs a fix. Guess that's self motivated too. But, why not, strangers helping strangers in a, virtually everyone, kind of way. Having those self motivators sell you for kindness instead of vengeance .

[–]dustydiary 0 points1 point ago

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Yeah, just offer an explanation and "cheers"! Don't make it about yourself...

[–]renagadex2 0 points1 point ago

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Wow amazing reddit. Let him have his cake!

[–]timprague 0 points1 point ago

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Let him eat it.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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BUT NEVER BOTH.

[–]stringer4 0 points1 point ago

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o, get over yourself and your faux rage already. jeez.

[–]aeck 1 point2 points ago

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Yeah, he should chill and out and do something else, like bowling.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points ago

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You're out of your element Donny.

[–]just_quit_smoking 20 points21 points ago

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p.s.

I sorta beat off all over your seats.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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sorta...

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points ago

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hes not very modest

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points ago*

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What a jerk, he should just have done it for the sake of doing it, not for the sake of taking credit for it, it most likely took him three times as long to write the note.

[–]bulldog05 0 points1 point ago

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I think he had to lea ve some kind of a note so that the car owner didn't realize someone had been in the car and freak out.

[–]ieshido 9 points10 points ago*

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Actually, the fact that we know this is exceptional behaviour proves that the whole world is full of dishonest people. Just because there is an island in the sea, doesn't mean the sea isn't full of water.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

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Bait car.

[–]RobotBuddha 1 point2 points ago

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That's what I was thinking as well. Nice idea, but the guy could have wound up with a criminal record for his act of kindness. Sad how applicable that phrase is to a large amount of good deeds these days.

[–]Megling1285 10 points11 points ago

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wow people here see the bad in everything, I thought it was nice enough :)

[–]onecommentgdfjhklads 4 points5 points ago*

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Most people don't start out dishonest. But you'll notice that people who complain about things sometimes get what they want without actually doing anything. The next and more effective step in the chain is saying bad things behind peoples' backs (you think everyone you know is nice, but at least a few of them do this). The next step is shameless scams. Surprisingly, the next and worst step are all the scams in the world that people don't mind, because PR are so obviously full of it we feel smart about ourselves for noticing and let them get away with it. Calling BS ASAP is something everyone knows is important, but barely anyone actually does.

Example time: say I want a million dollars, as a lazy but honest person I'll buy a lottery ticket and have a 1 in a billion chance of winning. Dishonest people --politicians, faceless shareholders, or whatever label is most convenient to you-- do even less than a 1 in a billion odds of achieving their stated desire, and are rewarded for it. You could even say that since my comment is pointless bitching that I'm not willing to back up, it's the most effective way to persuade society to listen to me.

<end of insane off-topic horribly written rant>

[–]kites47 2 points3 points ago

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Mirror?

[–]robot-rollcall 2 points3 points ago

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"Hope it brightens your day to know that I'm very proud of myself. I did the right thing, didn't I? Yeah, I did. I'm great."

[–]gerp 1 point2 points ago

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Yeah there are some good people out there. Sometimes at night a clandestine group of bike heads frolic through the city in the middle of the night and fix flat tires for fellow Amsterdamers.

[–]ENRICOs 1 point2 points ago

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self-serving prick!

[–]malconsidine 1 point2 points ago

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HE LYIN'

[–]palalab 1 point2 points ago

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P.S. Hope you like the Jesus fish on your hood, glad I had my pocket knife.

[–]otiose321 2 points3 points ago

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It darkens my day when people spell steel wrong.

[–]neuromonkey 0 points1 point ago

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Also, Wil Wheaton spelled his name rong.

[–]andbruno 2 points3 points ago

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P.S., I took a dump in your glove compartment. When you gotta go, you gotta go.

[–]Cooptwentysix 2 points3 points ago

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did the same thing at the gym once. guy left his lights on, I tried his door handle, was unlocked, turned his lights off. didn't lock his door though. for sure didn't leave a note lol, who does that?

[–]McVader[S] 1 point2 points ago

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From 1 to 273 karma in one day. Good lord.

[–]yupiSeddit 0 points1 point ago

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just found this out for myself. I lost my blackberry about a month ago, only to have someone return it, almost immediately. I lost my debit card AND my license on 2 separate occasions this week, and BOTH were returned. Whoever found my license even went out of their way to somehow find out which flat i was living in at my school, and brought it all the way there for me. My faith in humanity has largely been restored this past month. (and yes, i would lose my head if it wasn't attached.)

[–]todahawk 0 points1 point ago

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PS: there wasn't anything worth stealing in your car anyway

[–]shniken 0 points1 point ago

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Given the way it was signed off, I think that this was an Aussie.

[–]HellsKitchen 0 points1 point ago

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I would agree except that all sorts of English and English-related say cheers.

[–]theCurious 0 points1 point ago

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I lost several hundred dollars in an unmarked envelope last week. It was returned to me in full. I paid the lady for being honest!

[–]HellsKitchen 0 points1 point ago

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I lost several hundred dollars in an unmarked envelope last week. Aw crap I'm in the mafia.

[–]theCurious 0 points1 point ago

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Haha, Tony Soprano would have whacked someone.

[–]dpjames 0 points1 point ago

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It doesn't.

[–]w_e_reddit 0 points1 point ago

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I left my doors unlocked, in my driveway in a safe neighborhood in western MT, one freaking time and my car was stolen. So, no, this doesn't make me feel any better.

[–]wallish 0 points1 point ago*

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It's a shame that the note was found pinned to his wife's body.

[–]eksai 0 points1 point ago

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Little did the author know, is that someone else stole everything from that car before him.

The police are on his trail even now, since they know that it's a common tactic for thieves to have a note like that with them, so that if the cops catch them, they can just pull out a note, and say they were trying to help.

[–]JonathanHarford 0 points1 point ago

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Also, his name's actually "Ted".

[–]SkyPork 0 points1 point ago

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That note was wrapped around a urine-soaked brick and thrown through the car's windshield.

[–]Zoethor2 0 points1 point ago

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I leave notes like that all the time - it makes me feel all happy and warm-glow for the rest of the day.

I've also been the recipient of notes like that, and they also make me feel awesome - it makes me feel somewhat personally connected with whoever did me the favor, which is nice.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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They locked the car with the keys still in it.

[–]joey2by4 0 points1 point ago

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Doesn't mention the fact hes smeared turd on your brake pedal.

[–]crashnburn753 0 points1 point ago*

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How did he know his door was unlocked? He had no reason to try opening it.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Why does the person have to gloat?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Dishonest people are a small minority. I already know this. You don't have to rub it in my face.

[–]dirtymoney 0 points1 point ago

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not the whole world... just most of it.

[–]my_cat_joe 0 points1 point ago

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When I was a kid if someone left their lights on you would open their car door and turn them off. It was pretty common. No one locked their car doors. That was something you did in really bad neighborhoods only. There were no car alarms. No one kept anything of value in their cars.

[–]bbbobsaget 0 points1 point ago

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in contrast to this, someone went in my car and rolled my fucking windows down in the rain the other day.

[–]NelsonMuntz 0 points1 point ago

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Cheers

I think he's from the UK. This doesn't prove there are any left in America.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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There's something fishy going on here. there's got to be a catch...

[–]Jenny_H 0 points1 point ago

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Unlike pdub, eh?

You are all a bunch of suckers.

[–]Smoogy 0 points1 point ago

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Where was the note placed? Inside or inside?

What if the guy's door was locked and lights were off and this guy just made this up ?

[–]Dafuzz 0 points1 point ago

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Yeah... but the reason I left it that way was because the kidnapper told me to leave it like that with the 10 million in the trunk...

[–]20thMaine 0 points1 point ago

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What if the keys got left in the car? Who's the dick now!?

[–]emosorines 0 points1 point ago

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I came to write that. I really really really hope the keys weren't left in the car

[–]go-ahead-downvote 0 points1 point ago

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The Pharisee stood up and prayed about himself: 'God, I thank you that I am not like other men--robbers, evildoers, adulterers--or even like this tax collector.

[–]blackjewobamafan 0 points1 point ago

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Back when I was naive I would do the same thing. But not anymore. I would never open somebody else's door. I would just mind my own business.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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[–]ricko70 0 points1 point ago

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I live in a small town in Arizona Not much crime Allot like Mayberry

Many guns

[–]randomb0y 0 points1 point ago

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Great, you locked me out of my car you fucking asshole!

[–]sisko2k5 0 points1 point ago*

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I heard this guy got sued

EDIT: Just Kidding

[–]HellsKitchen 2 points3 points ago

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I heard your mom got screwed

EDIT: Not Kidding

[–]sisko2k5 2 points3 points ago

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Well, yeah...

[–]HellsKitchen 0 points1 point ago

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Thus the edit, I guess I'm a little addicted to rhyming threads

[–][deleted] -3 points-2 points ago

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Perhaps it's the wrong way to look at it, but he didn't steal because he presumably didn't need to. If he was poor, hungry, with less to lose if caught, he'd have stolen everything not bolted down (and some stuff that was) in a heart beat. Try doing that in a poor neighborhood and see how "honest" people are. Do it again it a rich one and see how surprisingly moral the fat and happy are. Honesty's got nothing to do with.

[–]supersocialist 4 points5 points ago

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Ethics and morality are affected by, not imposed by, upbringing and environment. If you think wealthy people are inherently honest, if you think wealth is proof of honesty, there is something wrong with your brain, my friend.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago*

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If you think wealthy people are inherently honest

I think wealthy people are less likely to break into a Van and steal a CD player, if tha'ts what you mean. Where you extracted the concept of inherent trustworthiness from what I said I have no idea.

Ethics and morality are affected by, not imposed by, upbringing and environment.

A starving man stealing bread is a criminal, but I would do as he would in that situation. So would most. If I had a family to feed, I would kill to feed them.

My ethics are not part of the question. The environment dictates how moral I can allow myself to be.

[–]helleborus 1 point2 points ago

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The environment dictates how moral I can allow myself to be.

Wrong again. The scale of dishonesty in the upper reaches is just so vast that it tends to go unnoticed. We notice someone smashing a car window, we don't notice someone gaming the system to steal billions. The white collar thief is certainly not more 'moral' than the punk!

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points ago

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The scale of dishonesty in the upper reaches is just so vast that it tends to go unnoticed. We notice someone smashing a car window, we don't notice someone gaming the system to steal billions.

That immorality exists at higher pay levels has never been in contention, indeed I just got through saying that. The contention is that environmental factors are the primary causative agent in the type of crime being described here, i.e.- smashed windows, stolen stereos. The relative "honesty" of the party is largely irrelevant in the question of whether or not he will commit the crime. The part you quoted clarifies that contention, that the minimum level of moral culpability is directly related to environmental factors, and thus environment does impose ethics.

As for white collar crime, that just strengths my point. The most logical course of action in the Bush (and maybe the Obama?) era, with gutted regulation, no oversight, and powerful friends in power was criminal (well, unethical, the actual legality of the activates varied and may yet be subject to change). The environment is such that the risks for immoral behavior are minimal if non-existent, the rewards are extremely great, and what do you get? Pandemic "dishonesty". Similarly, in a neighborhood where muggings are quotidian, a stereo may be a sufficiently great monetary return to risk incarceration.

certainly not more 'moral' than the punk!

It depends how one quantifies "evil". Financial impropriety may destroy your savings, but it won't kill both your parents for their jewelry and make you Batman. So the comparison is many millions of tiny evils (defrauding investors), or a few great ones (murder).

[–]illegible 0 points1 point ago

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what i think you're not considering is the fact that many of the wealthier who do steal think they're underprivileged somehow, and just trying to get "their fair share". Likewise, a poorer person can find a method to eat without stealing, rare is the situation when someone has absolutely no other choice. (If there is no other choice, it's probably due to poor decisions anyway)

[–]c53x12 0 points1 point ago

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You're correct, that is the wrong way to look at it.

[–]binary -1 points0 points ago

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Thanks for reminding me of my depressing lack of a FFFFOUND invite for more than two years now. Thanks.

[–]degriz -1 points0 points ago

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Good Will to all men it would seem :)

[–]cutmenot -1 points0 points ago

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Let me retype that for those who had a hard time reading it.

Hi, you forgot to do some things to your car. I was thinking of robbing you blind as I saw the car door was unlocked. Now, there is this chance you meant to do so, you were just running into a store for two seconds, and decided, "I'll take the chance, leave it lights on, unlocked."

However, I am a super nice guy, but I am totally unable to do things super nice unless they are acknowledged. I thought better of putting my email or phone number on a note that tells you how nice and super awesome I am. Instead, I took a pic, and posted it here on reddit.

This is giving me the self esteem boost I needed today, and also is what I need to validate that I am in fact the super nice awesome person I believe I am.

Thank you for effing up today, it made me look good.

[–]Inactive91 -1 points0 points ago

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People act in their own self-interest and benefit. People help each other because it makes themselves feel better and this note high lights this exactly. No one altruistically helps another individual, they usually do it for the most selfish reasons.

[–]GovBlack 0 points1 point ago

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and you're simply acting like an asshole for attention :-P Let the guy make someone else's day better, not worse. As long as someones actions have a positive impact on the world, the reasoning behind their actions shouldn't concern you.

My reasoning for THIS comment is to encourage you to be more positive, even if it is selfish and makes you "feel better" I say, go for it champ! There, now I feel better. Thanks friend.

[–]Inactive91 0 points1 point ago

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Meh, no point in being blinded by optimism. I'd rather see things for what they are. Can there be a positive impact? Yes. Does motive matter? It depends. If you're going to praise someone for being altruistic however of course I'm going to state the reality of the situation. I strongly dislike people who donate to charity or give blood then be passive aggressive about it to get praise just shows you aren't doing it to be altruistic, it shows you are selfish and looking for attention and praise. (sorry for the rant, have a good day).