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503
504

Remember the best toy of 2002 for girls? (dvorak.org)

submitted ago by RyVal

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[–]farceur318 108 points109 points ago

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And don't forget how popular that Chamber of Secrets toy was with the boys.

[–]twomonocles 14 points15 points ago

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You wouldn't mind if I put my basilisk in your Chamber of Secrets now would you?

[–]powercow 1 point2 points ago

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unfortunately I forgot it before I read your post instructing me not to.. my first three googles weren't much help.. turns out this harry potter kid is popular.. can you remind me of the toy in question?

[–]legatic 6 points7 points ago

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Whooooosh!

[–]powercow -1 points0 points ago*

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UMMMMM kay.. ok so I'm an idiot.. so i dont get it.. went right over my head..it was early am and no coffee. I guess you mean just teh name "chamber of secrets" sorry if i thought it might had been something real. and dint find the idea of an imaginary product called the "chamber of secrets" as funny as a very real vibrating broom stick. at any rate it helps if your not a douchebag and just explain your joke.

ok for a real product.. if you want to make boys smile. get them a sockem bopper.. the only difference between this an a blow up sheep.. is the shape.

sorry if i find this very real product funnier than some inside joke about how 'chamber of secrets" can be a double entendre for pussy.

[–]ktool 104 points105 points ago

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I bet it stimulated their imaginations.

[–]TaylorSpokeApe 40 points41 points ago

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And then there was the Oozinator

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YdAIt4MgnHc

[–]elburto 10 points11 points ago

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I don't think I've ever come closer to making the D: face in real life than on the day I first saw that ad.

[–]igneus 0 points1 point ago

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I always wondered where they got the clips for this mash-up from. Thank you so much for clearing that up!

[–]powercow 0 points1 point ago

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how can you have the many people needed to bring a product to market and not mention something? How the heck did the ad people demo their ad to the super soaker people and not laugh the whole way through? oxycotton?

[–]gregny2002 8 points9 points ago

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Perhaps we, the people of the internet, are actually really fucked up individuals, and normal people would not make the connection between a water gun and ejaculating on teenage boys?

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]gregny2002 0 points1 point ago

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I thought it was Oxycodone?

[–]redjasper 61 points62 points ago

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Don't forget about this.

[–]badjoke33 13 points14 points ago

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Except that's not a kid's toy. It's a stupid USB-powered joke trinket.

[–][deleted] 27 points28 points ago

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That's kind of soul crushingly sad.

[–]Enlightenment777 3 points4 points ago

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toys for future strippers :)

[–]will_itblend 4 points5 points ago

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I used to joke about there being a new Crack-Whore Barbie...but it's not too far off in the future.

[–]panamaspace 7 points8 points ago

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Did you mean far in the past? Let me introduce you to Gangsta Bitch Barbie!.

[–]poopshipdestroyer 0 points1 point ago

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"comes with a pack of newports" i hate being the only white person i know that doesnt smoke crack that likes newports.

[–]will_itblend -1 points0 points ago

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Nice!

[–]darthchurro 24 points25 points ago

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The man who designed this is a hero.

[–]Bingsby 19 points20 points ago

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I'm wondering if it was the same guy who designed this.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]keepingitcivil 4 points5 points ago

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The only thing worse than an overused meme is an overused meme used incorrectly... because it reminds me that I know what the meme is in the first place.

[–]darthchurro 3 points4 points ago

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What type of accent doesn't pronounce the 'h'?

[–]RadInfinitum 6 points7 points ago*

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Well I'll be damned. I looked it up and 'an' is used if the 'h' is silent or the word's accent is on the second syllable. Since the accent is in the first syllable of 'hero', it's spelled 'a hero'.

Source

/TIL

Edit: Stupidity

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

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Since there is only one syllable in 'hero'

What?

[–]RadInfinitum 3 points4 points ago

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Well goddamnit.

[–]MeridianJP 4 points5 points ago

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Aussies. They love their fair dinkum 'eros, cobber.

[–]Pufflekun 4 points5 points ago

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It's a meme.

[–]freehunter 0 points1 point ago

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Channers

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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So sad. Will anyone ever find his iPod?

[–]farceur318 -2 points-1 points ago

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No, you re misusing the meme. An heroes are people that commit suicide. Look it up.

[–]fishbulbx 21 points22 points ago

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Remember it? I'm riding it as we speak!

[–]ibrokereddit 36 points37 points ago

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Call me weird but I say let them have their dildo.. I know I was masturbating by that age anyway.

[–]Azhain 50 points51 points ago

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We all know you were masturbating by that age, you kept us all up.

[–]powercow 9 points10 points ago

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its a lot better than having them build their own out of an rc car motor and a cucumber.

[–]indigosin8 9 points10 points ago

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I disagree. Building one's own vibrator could be a very valuable lesson in both electronics and safety precautions.

[–]reddit_user13 0 points1 point ago

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When you're a spy... oh, never mind.

[–]SarahC 0 points1 point ago

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I was at 5... I'm surprised "innocents" and lack of sexual knowledge are seen as being the same thing...

[–]dirtymoney 10 points11 points ago

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what 12 year old girl wouldnt want a giant vibrating dildo?

[–]gynoceros 8 points9 points ago

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Didn't Hermione use this thing to cast the Introitus stimulosa spell?

[–][deleted] 33 points34 points ago

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The Onion?

[–][deleted] 87 points88 points ago

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Amazingly no.

[–]dnlslm9 3 points4 points ago

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Nope- Read the article that goes with it

[–]demizer 5 points6 points ago

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Even worse, John C. Dvorak

[–]JCPseudo 12 points13 points ago

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You wanna know why you have a built-in vibrator, Mr. Quiditch Broom? It's because you make little girls' 'ginies tingle! And when little girls' 'ginies tingle, I make money!

[–]will_itblend 3 points4 points ago

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Ah...an off-season South Park reference! Excellent!

[–][deleted] 43 points44 points ago

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I guess you could say it...

puts on sunglasses

Caused a buzz

[–][deleted] 19 points20 points ago

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Noooooooooooooooooooo.

[–]guruthegreat 87 points88 points ago

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Your post says Noooooooooooooooooooo but your body says YEEEEEEAAAH!

[–]gynoceros 6 points7 points ago

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If they had a "Best Comment on a CSI Thread" award, I would strongly urge them to put one in your trophy case.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points ago

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I fully agree. I actually downvoted my own comment because, by comparing the two, mine looks like total shit.

[–]AforAnonymous -4 points-3 points ago

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YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAH

[–]me10 2 points3 points ago

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Are there pics to verify that this toy is real?

[–]Dilettante 9 points10 points ago*

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Yeah, this is old news. Here are a couple of links:

some reviews taken from Amazon.com

worthopedia

EDIT: Here is the original article I'm used to seeing online

[–]AnotherEcho 2 points3 points ago

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Those reviews are hilarious. Did they not get it?

"I recently bought this for my son, Vantro. He's a HUGE Harry Potter fan. Seen the movie 32 times (in the theaters) and made the paper. This toy gives him the ability to fly around the house zapping things. My only problem I see with the toy is the batteries drain too fast and his sister fights him over it, so now I need to buy her one."

[–]savetheclocktower 6 points7 points ago

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Vantro? Vantro?

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

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I wonder what the current market price for those few that were produced is...

[–]EthanS1 4 points5 points ago

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Surprisingly not that high, here, and here and then this person who seems very optimistic

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Thanks. I would totally take advantage of that but unfortunately I don't think it'd be particularly effective for me.

[–]borez 11 points12 points ago

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That's up there ( no pun intended ) with this little gem

[–]wuddersup 34 points35 points ago

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"Hello Kitty" actually makes sense too...

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points ago

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No wonder I still LOVE Hello Kitty now!!

[–]---sniff--- 9 points10 points ago

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Did you see the Hello Kitty vibrator picture contest?

[–]gynoceros 2 points3 points ago

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I'm going to tell you the same thing my son told the dude at the convenience store when he bought a guitar pin with blinking lights:

Thank you for this. It's really cool.

[–]borez 0 points1 point ago

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I have now.

[–]jcy 5 points6 points ago

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this reminds me of a commercial for high powered water guns, like a super soaker, but there was this extended slow-mo shot of an underage girl in a t-shirt getting soaked by a spray of water whose source was off-camera

wish i could really find that commercial...

[–]elburto 3 points4 points ago

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Why don't you have a seat over here...

[–]spoonchucks -1 points0 points ago

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You mean, this?

[–]flarkenhoffy -3 points-2 points ago

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YdAIt4MgnHc ?

[–]jcy 9 points10 points ago

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no, what i remember wasn't gross

[–]WebZen 2 points3 points ago

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Mom needs to get with the vibrating broomstick program.

[–]raouldukeesq 2 points3 points ago

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I have one.

[–]sneakay 22 points23 points ago

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Thank god we rescued all of those poor innocent little children from discovering their sexuality.

Think of the horrors of legions of women who are no longer waiting for Jesus to teach them everything on their wedding night.

[–]CEOofEarthMITTROMNEY 80 points81 points ago

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So in your world it has to be a choice between abstinence and buying your 12 year old a vibrator?

[–]Smight 45 points46 points ago

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What are you some kind of third party voter?

You KNOW there can ever only be two choices!

[–]jackolas 0 points1 point ago

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No he's Mitt Romney.

[–]Canadian_Infidel -1 points0 points ago

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You could work that into play on the language into a bit for a comedy routine.

[–]powercow 2 points3 points ago

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it's hard enough to get the kids off the xbox for bed. and i dont need my wife and daughter fighting over a toy.

[–]caster 5 points6 points ago

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The genius aspect of this product is that it provides a sense of plausible deniability, making a "vibrator" a socially acceptable toy at least on the outer surface. Finding a vibrator in your 12 year old girl's room is... awkward. But a Harry Potter toy? That's fine, right?

It's like how consuming alcohol in public places was illegal, and someone started drinking their booze in a paper bag so the cops could leave them alone (The Wire- true story, though).

[–]afungi 2 points3 points ago

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I came here to say this. God forbid these young girls experience sexual pleasure. How horrifying!

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

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Pleasure=Evil. That is so first century.

[–]wildpeaches 1 point2 points ago

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Why am I just hearing about this toy now?? I love Harry Potter! LOL

[–]demizer 0 points1 point ago

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Dvorak is one of the most irritating commentatiors on twit.tv.

[–]somesthetic 1 point2 points ago

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Wouldn't a quiddich broom be aimed at boys?

[–]synoptyc 16 points17 points ago

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There were female Quidditch players. Ginny Weasley ended up going pro.

[–]somesthetic 48 points49 points ago

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but nobody takes the WNQA seriously.

[–]freehunter 16 points17 points ago

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And that's why she commands $7,000 a year. These gals sure do make it look difficult. But is having this minor skill worth being so unattractive? That's for the fan to decide.

Yay!

[–]stesch 1 point2 points ago

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Never heard of the Holyhead Harpies?

[–]Shagata_Ganai -4 points-3 points ago

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Umm, WTF were the manufacturers thinking?

[–][deleted] 17 points18 points ago

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$$$

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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???

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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£££

[–]sensory 38 points39 points ago

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"Let's make a vibrator aimed at little girls, but disguise it as a popular item that they can relate to and won't raise their parents suspicions."

I'm guessing.

[–]Shagata_Ganai 37 points38 points ago

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Moms were upset because there was no way they could use it without arousing suspicion.

[–]HiddenKrypt 7 points8 points ago

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"Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity."

[–]caster 0 points1 point ago

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Um, that was goddamn brilliant if you ask me.

[–]theCroc -1 points0 points ago

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Probably the same thing they were thingking when they made this: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Re-creation-Group-Plc-Peekaboo/dp/B000EW3PJ2

[–]Blaidd_Dwrg 6 points7 points ago

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This review made me happy:

I bought this as a present for my teenager daughter Dawn, after she failed all of her GCSEs. It has provided a valuable educational function and now, against all the odds, she has found herself a lucrative career! A couple of months in and she has already earned enough for some all-important plastic enhancement-surgery. Thanks to this life-changing toy the money-ball is rolling and it's downhill all the way!

[–]ungood 7 points8 points ago

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21% of people who look at that item eventually buy: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Mankini-SM29777-Official-Borat-Thong/dp/B000WAWH68/ref=pd_cp_k_h_b_cs_0

[–]Shagata_Ganai 0 points1 point ago

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Was that a Barbie(TM) add-on? ;-)

[–]theCroc 1 point2 points ago

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I'm pretty sure it was fullsized. Or rather kid sized. Hence the WTF

[–]Shagata_Ganai 0 points1 point ago

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Holy crap. I still would have liked to be in the meeting where that POS was approved. Damn.

[–]userax -2 points-1 points ago

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Yes. So stop reposting it.

[–]lesty420 -1 points0 points ago

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old and fake

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