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Submit your Halloween pumpkin pics to /r/horror's carving competition!

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top 200 commentsshow 500

[–]weirdalchemy 262 points263 points ago

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I spotted it immediately, and it scared the crap out of me. Why is that kid dressed like a 19th century London Banker?

[–]saralk 146 points147 points ago

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He has an interview at JP Morgan later

[–]davidreiss666 19 points20 points ago

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I take it he is going to manage keeping various groups down.

[–]fuzzybunn 13 points14 points ago

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As long as he keeps on top of things.

[–]glittalogik 1 point2 points ago

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He's doing a good job of suppressing people sofa.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points ago

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Er, I think you meant 20th century, and right up to the '60s at that, when bowler hats started to go. They still wear pinstripe suits quite a lot in The City and Canary Wharf.

[–]raptosaurus 12 points13 points ago

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Hey you have no right to critixize the 20th century! We gave the world the light bulb, the steam engine, and the cotton gin!

[–]dilithium 10 points11 points ago

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All those things were invented in the 19th century, Fry.

[–]raptosaurus 6 points7 points ago

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Yeah, well, they probably copied us.

[–]Phyte 4 points5 points ago

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And every now and then we'd replace the letter C with X, with no explanation! All in all, great xentury.

[–]combuchan 3 points4 points ago

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He's going to roll out a morse-over-IP network for IBM.

[–][deleted] 41 points42 points ago

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That baby .. knows ..

[–]kublakhan1816 9 points10 points ago

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She looks like she's pooping.

[–]avariciousarsonist 21 points22 points ago

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She's pooping because she knows.

[–]__loridcon 7 points8 points ago

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pooping she is! knowing she does!

[–]willies_hat 365 points366 points ago

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I jumped when I saw it. That shit is creepy.

[–]TheSilentNumber 118 points119 points ago*

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Her eyes...they were screaming at me. ::shudders::

[–]xwonka 73 points74 points ago

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After you see it you die in seven days.

[–]Legendoftheskies 144 points145 points ago

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If you die in reddit you die in real life.

[–]Testsubject28 8 points9 points ago

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One, Two, Reddit's coming for you....

[–]fingers 8 points9 points ago

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How far down the negative comment karma hole do you have to go before you're officially dead? LouF, I'm watching you closely.

[–][deleted] 37 points38 points ago

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I'm on my eighth day after seeing this photo and I'm still alive.

Although, my head is filled with the unbearable screaming of the daughter imprisoned inside a couch. Every time I look at somebody else's eyes, the screams come to the surface like metal skewers being plunged into my eardrums. Oh God, she's trying to tell me something.

LEAVE ME ALONE. I DON'T KNOW YOU. I can't move, Fluffy. They broke my bones and burned my throat with acid. I can only watch. WHAT. WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT. I want you to watch too. ARGHHHHH.

[–]Concise_Pirate 4 points5 points ago

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Yikes. Someone watches bad movies.

[–]Mr_A 4 points5 points ago

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Well you coulda fuckin' told me that before I clicked it. Damn.

[–]iveL 4 points5 points ago

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After you die, you see it for seven days.

[–]bprajapa 14 points15 points ago

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Did anyone notice how only one of the babies has black eyes, the rest are blue. I think someone got bored of their marriage.

[–][deleted] 39 points40 points ago

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so different eye colors in your children means somebody is cheating?

[–]orioleberd 17 points18 points ago

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when both parents have blue eyes, yes. it's a recessive trait. That being said, I think the kid has dark blue eyes that will lighten out. Black isn't too common an eye color

[–]stocksy 197 points198 points ago

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Put away that punnet square. Eye colour is a polygenic characteristic and it does not precisely follow Mendelian inheritance.

[–]chiswede 110 points111 points ago

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Oh, genetics snap!

[–]stocksy 91 points92 points ago

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Oh my. Did somebody just get told? By me? Gracious.

[–]fr4vr 9 points10 points ago

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For some reason, I just imagined the Queen saying that...

[–]headcode 7 points8 points ago

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The Queen of Genetic Snaps?

[–]MacEnvy 44 points45 points ago

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Psssh, that research was done by scientists who just insisted that their wives weren't cheating on them.

[–]ragesoss 13 points14 points ago

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Yep. And it's really common for babies to have different color eyes from what they will ultimately have.

[–]Gullyvuhr 33 points34 points ago

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If the baby has two different color eyes does that mean it was made in a three way?

[–]helmutlampshade 22 points23 points ago

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I think further research on this hypothesis is needed.

[–]stocksy 2 points3 points ago

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It means the baby is a mutant. Awesome.

[–]Philosophile 5 points6 points ago*

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Mother - Brown eyes

Father - Green eyes

Brother - Green eyes

Sister - Hazel eyes

Me - Blue eyes

I always took issue when people brought up the topic of eye color inheritance.

[–]greginnj 6 points7 points ago

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So mom was Bb, and all you kids got the recessive. It's a 1-in-8 chance, not remarkably unlikely....

[–]MyssX 2 points3 points ago*

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Mother - Blue Eyes
Father - Brown Eyes
Brother & Me - Green/hazel eyes with black dots in them.

(couldn't even find an image on google of them) http://s86.photobucket.com/albums/k99/goshdarn22/?action=view&current=MyEye.jpg Very bright flash shows them best.

[–]cujo3017 1 point2 points ago

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They didn't figure that out till my blue eyed brother was in his teens. Both our parents are brown-eyed.

Good thing my dad didn't understand genetics.

[–]finisterra 47 points48 points ago

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when both parents have blue eyes, yes. it's a recessive trait. That being said, I think the kid has dark blue eyes that will lighten out. Black isn't too common an eye color

I used to think the same, but apparently it is not so clear-cut. I was using the "two alleles determine eye-colour, since blue eyes are blue/blue there is no chance of having a brown/blue combination in a child".

It seems though that eye colour is not determined by two alleles, but by several, with different combinations that give a "percentage" of possible outcomes. So while not usual, it is possible for blue-eyed parents to have green or brown eyes kids.

See here

[–]spamcow 1 point2 points ago

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Yeah, my parents both have blue eyes but my brother -- definitely one of their nine kids -- has brown eyes.

[–]demian64 3 points4 points ago

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I have blue eyes and both of my daughters do as well. They are darker as infants. My mom had black eyes, though.

[–]eonOne 39 points40 points ago

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My mom had black eyes, though.

You can thank your dad for that.

[–]demian64 11 points12 points ago

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Zing!

[–]AttackingHobo 10 points11 points ago

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Did anyone notice that infants usually have different color eyes and different colored hair when they grow older?

[–]mrbroom 7 points8 points ago*

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If either of those blue-eyed parents had a parent who did not have blue eyes, it's entirely possible for them to have a child that doesn't have blue eyes, especially one out of four.

Interestingly, it's this very fact that, when explained to one of my friend when she was a kid, made her suspect her brother wasn't her father's kid, since her parents and all her grandparents had blue eyes and he didn't. Later on she'd prove to be right. SCIENCE

[–]Impressario 13 points14 points ago

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Creepy? I like to think that person is wearing a wonderful, wide-eyed smile underneath there. I know I'd be.

[–]willies_hat 10 points11 points ago

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The smell of ass turns you on?

[–]Impressario 5 points6 points ago

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Sweet, sweet ass smell.

[–]kwen25 25 points26 points ago

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[–]tzzd 18 points19 points ago

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Look at the pixel noise on the ghost vs. the background.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points ago

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Modded you up because it made me feel better again.

[–]stordoff 14 points15 points ago

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Holy...

I looked at that for about five minutes and was about to comment 'WTF?' Then I saw it.

[–]FerrisWheelOnFire 1 point2 points ago

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There is a similar picture I saw on Reddit a while ago. It was another abandoned building with a creepy face in the floor.

[–]brandx1982 838 points839 points ago

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Dude I saw it right away. Using a flash when you have a mirror in a shot is a bad idea. Either move the mirror or move down a little and then take the photograph.

[–]GNG 172 points173 points ago

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Agreed. Even an amateur should know that.

[–]Nwallins 69 points70 points ago

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Also, please put down the sharpen tool before someone gets hurt.

[–]stuckinstl 37 points38 points ago

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Enhance

[–]workroom 295 points296 points ago*

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Enhance with more Busey

[–]Reaxel 48 points49 points ago

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You missed one.

[–]workroom 117 points118 points ago

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I didn't miss him, I just ran out of Busey.

[–]Lystrodom 31 points32 points ago

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I didn't know it was possible to run out of Busey.

[–]bluehands 23 points24 points ago

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I didn't either, i just thought it was a wonderful dream.

[–]uosdwiS_r_jewoH 11 points12 points ago*

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Best.

Abusey.

Evar!

New background time 8D

[–]uosdwiS_r_jewoH 1 point2 points ago

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hahahah oh man this is seriously the funniest shit ever dude.

[–]flying_squid 12 points13 points ago

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It's an Aphex Twin video!

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points ago

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Is there any way to unclick?

[–]aterlumen 2 points3 points ago

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Sadly, no.

[–]youser 8 points9 points ago

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what a glorious rendition.

i'll upvote Busey all day.

[–]pmh160 2 points3 points ago

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KILL IT WITH FIRE. Holy shit dude, that was terrifying.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Thank you so much kind sir, I haven't cried laughing like that in a long time!

[–]omgbiscuit 8 points9 points ago

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Enhance

[–]andy_63392 2 points3 points ago

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Uncrop

[–][deleted] 16 points17 points ago*

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Back and to the left...back and to the left--oops, wrong reference.

Edit: Jeez. You try a non sequitur and downvotes come swarming in like hornets.

[–]murder_turtle 4 points5 points ago

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Newman: I'm leavin'. Jerry's a nut. [Exits]

[–]Diefex 1 point2 points ago

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zoom

[–]Skagglio_Ordonez 26 points27 points ago

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sometimes before I open the comments I like to say, "cue sarcastic comment at the top in 3..2..1" it never fails

[–]zerstoeren 23 points24 points ago

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But what if it does fail!? ... the lives that could be lost... THE HORROR! NEVER FORGET 9/27!

[–]Antebios 12 points13 points ago

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I WILL NEVER FORGET 9/27!!! OH, THE HUGE MANATEE!

[–]gerg6111 3 points4 points ago

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[–]indigosin8 8 points9 points ago

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Who'd've guessed that an insightful comment exploring subtle but profound nuances of the human condition wouldn't lead the comment dialogue for a picture of a family with one member hidden under the asses of the others?

[–]flaminglips 12 points13 points ago

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I thought it was the ginger. I feel bad for the family...

[–]bluehands 6 points7 points ago

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don't, the rest are daywalkers.

[–]randomb0y 5 points6 points ago

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Not that dude - the clown-car vagina!

[–]twistedcain 1 point2 points ago

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Where is Captain Obvious when you need him?

[–]Captain____Obvious 3 points4 points ago*

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Got here as fast as I could. Jesus, the traffic is bad on Friday nights.

OK. What's the problem here. Man, wife, three kids, one elf, one sofa, one blinky light ... and the bondage chick with the terror in her eye.

Nothing to see here. She'll be OK.

[–]nederhoed 71 points72 points ago

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a risk every couch surfer takes...

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points ago

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first sensible comment.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

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Nice, there are CS'ers on reddit.

[–][deleted] 160 points161 points ago

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Upvoted for not promising I'd defecate masonry.

[–]melanthius 14 points15 points ago

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When I saw it... I was truly surprised.

[–]hiicha 78 points79 points ago

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Upvoted for masonry defecating.

[–]quackmeister 20 points21 points ago

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Freemasons are big on fiber.

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points ago

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easier to dis-lodge you with my dear.

[–]guanothan 29 points30 points ago

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Wouldn't it be creepy if we found out every couch has a face like that on it somewhere

[–]sundance1028 6 points7 points ago

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That made be laugh, but now I know I'm going to have nightmares now about evil couch faces (which would be a good name for a band, btw).

[–]boredfairy 2 points3 points ago

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Upvoted for making me think you're a little kid.

[–]guanothan 1 point2 points ago

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I know you are but what am I?

[–]octopede 52 points53 points ago

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What? just because they're all sort of uglWAAAAAUUUUGGGGGH

[–]flukshun 8 points9 points ago

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hmm...appears to be a mirror behind them with the flash of the camera, but no reflection of the person taking it....maybe it was a timed camera on a stand...or maybe a window...still...kinda freaky HOLY SHIT WTF IS THAT

[–]hlipschitz 73 points74 points ago

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Sofa Girl is watching you photograph.

[–]Pufflekun 33 points34 points ago

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I'm guessing it's a guy, but I'm not sure...

[–]artiface 29 points30 points ago

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That is Sofa King we Todd did.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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See, there's this thing called a 'brow ridge'. It can save you from a lot of traps if you look for it.

[–]Pufflekun 1 point2 points ago*

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I like traps, though. (The cute ones, anyway.)

[–]jedi_aka 4 points5 points ago

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I never said it was a girl. Guys cuff him now!!

[–]nenton 79 points80 points ago

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I don't see anythiHOLYSHIT!

[–]Jonny0stars 40 points41 points ago

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I was thinking that erection wasn't that obvious, he could probably pass it off as a bunch up.

[–]Agile_Cyborg 27 points28 points ago

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Talk about family pressure.

[–]tonynojutsu 7 points8 points ago

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They should sit down and talk about it

[–]knullcon 9 points10 points ago

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Face Sitting Fetish. ol' #34

[–]KnottyNikki 4 points5 points ago

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Smothering is a long-standing fetish, actually. :) You obviously don't look at half as much morbidly obese porn as I do.

[–]knullcon 1 point2 points ago

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Rule #34 isn't just for extreme fetishes, it just states that there is porno for EVERYTHING.

[–]sox406 9 points10 points ago

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Jesus Christ! This woman can't even pause for a photo-op without somone coming out of her vagina!

[–][deleted] 25 points26 points ago

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When you see it, you'll shit faces.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points ago

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Theres a Bofa in the sofa

[–]Deb1961_work 5 points6 points ago

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Look out for the Wasket in the Basket. Upvoted for the Dr. Seuss reference.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points ago*

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Yeah, yeah, couch person. Also: the baby on the right has brown eyes. The husband and wife have blue eyes, just like all the other kids.

Guess who's been banging the milkman?

[–]locuester 5 points6 points ago

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It's perfectly possible. My son has blue eyes yet my exwife and I have brown eyes.

OH, wait. Shit.

[–]supaphly42 1 point2 points ago

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Me?

[–][deleted] 14 points15 points ago

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I wonder how many of the kids are actually from the dude she keeps in the couch... maybe I should get a couch with a chick in it.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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she looks like the slutty type. probably one , maybe two. He doesnt care .

[–]edydantes 19 points20 points ago

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It'd be better if it looked like a "creepy" eye instead of "yeay! huge ass on my face!" eye.

[–]texpundit 9 points10 points ago

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Actually, it looked like "HOLY FUCK I CAN BARELY BREATHE AND THIS FAT-ASSED BITCH JUST FARTED!!!" to me.

[–]TheLoneHoot 3 points4 points ago

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mmmm go oooooooonnnn....

[–]ThePriceIsRight 24 points25 points ago

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I fucking told everyone and they didn't believe me. Gingers cant be seen on the reflection of mirrors.

[–]AlanFord 10 points11 points ago

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I knew that wearing a camouflage suit in sofa colors would be a bad idea.

[–][deleted] 49 points50 points ago*

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Oh the chuckles this brought Nuckles.

a late hoedown challenge for the rest that replied

It's really hard to xplain,

I looked and looked but never saw,

A thing that tickled my brain.

But as my gaze was sweepin,

The picture posted again,

Beneath the happy family,

He's smilin' through his pain!

A heidi deidi deidi da

Let's sing this all again!

[–]photokeith 22 points23 points ago

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Oh the Frodo beef this brought photokeith.

[–]myopinionstinks 9 points10 points ago

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Oh the High 'Lo Minion Winks this.. no it's broken.

[–]Atomic235 6 points7 points ago

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Oh the platonic love of chives this brought Atomic235

[–]atomicthumbs 4 points5 points ago

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Oh the masses of plums this brought atomicthumbs.

[–]bammbamm85 1 point2 points ago

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Oh the grand-slam lady pies this brought bammbamm85.

[–]Mr_A 4 points5 points ago

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This thread is gay, says Mr_A.

[–]utexaspunk 5 points6 points ago

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Oh the... uh... nevermind...

[–]ow1n 6 points7 points ago

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That's the man's soul she's sitting on.

[–]cleverlycreated 6 points7 points ago*

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Mom's eyes: Blue

Dad's eyes: Blue

Three oldest children's eyes: Blue

Baby's eyes: Brown

Very wrong.

[–]aim2free 1 point2 points ago*

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even the guy in the couch has blue eyes. Very wrong...

[–][deleted] 14 points15 points ago*

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What? I see it. The kid in the middle has red hair. No, wait, so does the kid on the right. Oh, okay so the kid on the left has blond hair. Looks like someone's been getting som-- OHMYGODWHATTHEHELLISTHAT!!

EDIT: In retrospect, it could be photoshopped.

[–][deleted] 16 points17 points ago

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Ginger kids being exposed to sunlight?

[–]electrobutter 3 points4 points ago

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poll: is the couch creeper a dude or a chick?

i'm going with dude because the thought of mommy sitting on a guy's head that isn't her husband is hawt.

[–]MondrosenPrime 3 points4 points ago

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That's photoshopped, right?

[–]rotll 3 points4 points ago

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another server "redditted" - mirror anyone?

[–]cultured_banana_slug 3 points4 points ago

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Mom: "You will be in this family photo!"

Teenager: "Hell no!"

And this is the happy result.

[–]teesixer 2 points3 points ago

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my gf just cried when she saw it

[–]Naberius 7 points8 points ago

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There's Waldo!

[–]broadcloak 11 points12 points ago

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Do you think they know he/she is there?

[–]bookey23 2 points3 points ago

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I thought it was the fact that one child was impeccably dressed

[–]computer_user 2 points3 points ago*

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It wasn't the "man hand" on the third kid from the left?

Edit: Never mind.

[–]deamon2 2 points3 points ago

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ahahahahaha thats amazing. it took me at least 10 minutes to see that

[–]N3otron 2 points3 points ago

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[half baked] Guy on the couch [/half baked]

[–]orioleberd 2 points3 points ago

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This has the makings of a great holiday card...

[–]homergonerson 2 points3 points ago

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Saw it as soon as it loaded :)

[–]go_fly_a_kite 2 points3 points ago

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the baby has BROWN EYES!

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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stepchildren always have it rough

[–]gjahnke 2 points3 points ago

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Anyone else notice the baby is the only one with brown eyes . . . guess who's not the daddy?

[–]thetreece 2 points3 points ago

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Why did finally noticing the face make me jump?

[–]dirtymoney 2 points3 points ago

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ah I figured it out. Uncle touchy is hiding in the cushions.

[–]mexicodoug 4 points5 points ago

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Uncle touchy is festering in the cushions.

[–]retardedavenger 2 points3 points ago

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Did she just eat some dude and then shit him out on the couch? amazing.

[–]ReiToei 2 points3 points ago

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I don't really see anything wrong with this photo. Everyone looks completely norm...OHMYFUCKINGGODWHATTHEFUCKISTHAT?!?!?!?!??!

[–]ggglitch 2 points3 points ago

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omg you're right that baby does look freakishly angry! weird!!!

[–]metalbox69 5 points6 points ago

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"Sit on my face and tell me that you love me..."

[–]thi3n 1 point2 points ago*

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I first looked at the fathers hands. Then everyone elses hands. Looked for deformities in the faces. Nothing.

I gave up and read the comments. I went back and looked at the flash. Looked hard at the white/red thing in the mirror. Then after a quick scan, I saw it.

My heart jumped out of my chest.

[–]retlawmacpro 1 point2 points ago

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Ya it took me a few seconds too, but jeeze when you see it? a family of redheads, ick.

[–]chairface 1 point2 points ago

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No relation

[–]AttackingHobo 1 point2 points ago

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No one ever gets up off the couch, they just sit down forever, and new people just keep piling on.

[–]MrSurly 1 point2 points ago

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Eye see what you did there.

[–]Sam8131 1 point2 points ago

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I still can't see the black guy.

[–]braomius 1 point2 points ago

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omfg I didn't see it for like 45secs and when I did I jumped backwards

[–]MechaAaronBurr 1 point2 points ago

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I think I should seek serious medical attention for the series of bricks that suddenly passed through my anus.

[–]mariorising 1 point2 points ago

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My god. That actually scared me

[–]legomymego 1 point2 points ago

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dutch oven?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT DOING THERE

[–]legatobebop 1 point2 points ago

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Thats fucking creepy.

[–]Deacon 1 point2 points ago

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Got it in four seconds, and by the way, that's creepy.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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How is that bottle in that mirror!??!

[–]JPOOPOO 1 point2 points ago

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Wow, nice use of photoshop

[–]diggernaught 1 point2 points ago*

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Hubby doesnt know the fetish his wife is into. Doesnt even know that half of the kids aren't his.

[–]Eratosthenes 1 point2 points ago

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I spent a long time making sure everyone had the correct number of arms before I saw it.

[–]monkey_zen 1 point2 points ago

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I screamed like a girl.

[–]viskarenvisla 1 point2 points ago

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That baby looks like he should be wearing a pinstripe suit smoking a cigar.

[–]danielbln 2 points3 points ago

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[–]snappyj 1 point2 points ago

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Where the fuck is the cameraman? ...fucking vampires...

[–]nickatnite101 1 point2 points ago

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Ok. Thought process...."Whats wrong here... baby looks like connan, does the dad have an errection?!... no. hmm, ginger kid is in the sun... and there's the crazy aunt."

[–]btnheazy03 1 point2 points ago

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that would have been a badass kid's party with balloons n shit

[–]tonma 1 point2 points ago

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[–]nostrawdog 1 point2 points ago

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My mother got freaked out when she figured it out.

[–]balihosting 1 point2 points ago

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happy family sitting at someone..

[–]walrus99 1 point2 points ago*

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There's always someone in the background, screwing up a good picture.

[–]anacousticsoul 1 point2 points ago

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OMG. That was creepy as f***!

[–]diesel828 1 point2 points ago

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It took me just a few seconds. I'm sure it smelled great down there.

[–]dextroz 2 points3 points ago

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mmm....hot punami...

[–]eyekantspel 1 point2 points ago

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Sit on my faaaaace and tell me that you love me.

[–]b0ot 1 point2 points ago

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Toy Story 2 was okay.

[–]youneek 1 point2 points ago

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Dude, that's not right. I just got home from work, drunk as a skunk, and you throw that at me. Not cool homie. Not cool.