Group projects

Jay_Normous · 2013-01-24T21:28:58+00:00

As my dad always says, never underestimate someone's capacity to totally fuck you over.

Sketch3000 · 2013-01-24T21:54:30+00:00

I had a professor that hated group projects - he liked them only from the standpoint that they do exactly what your chart shows, you can't count on others to come through for you.

One day in 90 minute class, he started off the day explaining his dislike for group projects and why they don't work. After a short 20 minute lecture he said, I want to throw two scenarios out and have the class split into two groups. I forget the actual situations he gave, but I'll make up my own that get the point across.

Would you rather live in a world where it rained gummy bears or it rained gummy worms. Stand on this side for worms, this side for bears.

Now, explain your cases to each other and as soon everyone agrees on one type of rain you can all leave class. Mind you this was getting out almost an hour early.

Those fuckers refused to cooperate - I specifically remember saying "everyone just stand in the middle and agree that we all agree, let's go home" We left class about 5 minutes early, not because we could cooperate, but because it was obvious the teacher was tired of the experiment.

lexpeebo · 2013-01-24T21:09:02+00:00

don't forget - if you want shit done right, do it yourself.

SavageGarden · 2013-01-24T22:18:30+00:00

The key to a good group project is to rapidly establish a totalitarian dictatorship.

LNMagic · 2013-01-24T21:27:32+00:00

The key to a good group is organization. Someone has to step up to the plate and assign roles. A good way to do that is to break it into sections and ask group members to each take an equal share. When I did that, I spent lots of time formatting in Word (along with an active table of contents) to make it even easier to find the sections. It's a way of helping the team without overstepping your bounds. I didn't do that in every group, but it's a good skill to possess. The result is that most of my group projects have been positive experiences.

There were times when someone didn't pull their weight, but because we were organized and tried to stick to a schedule, the rest of us were aware of it and addressed the problem each time. I can deal with someone who has difficulty with the subject but is making an honest effort - in that case, most groups will spend time helping them learn. It's harder to convince someone who's lazy to do their part.

raskolnikov- · 2013-01-24T20:53:52+00:00

I'm pretty sure that I've seen this before but I'm going to upvote it anyway so maybe a professor somewhere sees it and thinks twice about assigning a group project. I got a D on a group project in college because my partner did not do her part and lied to me, saying she had it under control. I did not learn until an hour or so before it was due that she hadn't done anything except badly copy a passage from our textbook and try to pass it off as her writing. In parts, her writing was utterly nonsensical. I explained it to the professor but he was not sympathetic.

sirblastalot · 2013-01-24T21:30:36+00:00

I know teachers love group projects, and I can see why it makes sense: in "the real world" you have to be able to work with a group. There's usually a problem with the execution, though. In the real world, there's a whole hierarchy that divides-up who does what. Not to mention that, hopefully, the people that don't pull their weight get fired.

mattj7 · 2013-01-24T21:25:49+00:00

I'd get in a group project and since I actually did work when I was IN CLASS (never did homework) I'd be like ok lets do this and try and figure out if any of them in the group were actually willing to work, then work with that/those individual(s) and be successful. So group projects taught me the importance of quickly judging who's a lazy fuck and then disregarding them to focus on the productive, contributing people. Wait a minute thats actually a pretty decent life lesson.

JoelLikesPigs · 2013-01-24T21:34:16+00:00

More like: How to get a bunch of shit done while no one else does anything, but still complain when they get a shitty to average grade.

Sharra_Blackfire · 2013-01-24T22:07:32+00:00

Is this SMBC? Kind of looks like Zach's handwriting

mermaidbooty · 2013-01-24T21:43:06+00:00

Learned this shit today. Never again!

dorkofnight · 2013-01-24T21:46:36+00:00

I am a professor and I assign group project. The way I keep this from occurring is by giving the group half of the points for the assignment to assign. I admit that it's rather amusing when a student calls me and asks why he/she got a 50 when the rest of the group got a 100. I then explain that the group decide to not assign that student any points. I also give groups the power to remove anyone who doesn't do the work. This seems to keep the slacking down to a minimum.

ARoyaleWithCheese · 2013-01-24T22:11:55+00:00

Just finished a group project today, I was basically leading a group of 8 people (because I'm the most experienced/most knowledgeable) who didn't give a single fucking fuck. I had to send back the same papers to the same people multiple fucking times because apparently: "It really needs to be AT LEAST two/three pages, if it's less, you're doing something wrong" sounds a lot like: "Yeah, half a page is totally fine."

Everyone was just being dicks and assholes and stupid as fuck, had to check almost daily on people to make sure they staid kind of sorta on schedule and didn't completely fuck up. Had to explain everything to them multiple times because apparently that's what I'm supposed to do as a student and in the end it the paper still sucked and I had to spend hours to make it somewhat decent.

What does the professor say to all of this? Well fuck him that asshole. Told me that it's part of being a leader (managing unmotivated, uncooperative and plain dumb people) and that in the real would I'd have to deal with this too. NO. NO THOSE PEOPLE WOULD GET FIRED FROM THEIR FUCKING JOBS, OKAY.

Worst part is because I was trying to make the paper a good one I unintentionally became the only one doing something and thus the leader, and got all of the fucking blame.

Bullshit I tell you, it's complete and utter fucking bullshit.

Just as clarification: not everyone in my group sucked. Two of the eight (excluding me) were cool people with whom I could work well and who did their jobs well. I also didn't get to choose the people in my group, we were assigned by the teacher.

fixit90 · 2013-01-24T21:54:13+00:00

After a group gets an A by actually working together.

jester805 · 2013-01-24T20:48:53+00:00

Kind of like 6 SIGMA

Slopples · 2013-01-24T21:53:02+00:00

Every time I saw a group assignment on a syllabus I wanted to shoot myself in the face.

paranoka · 2013-01-24T22:21:04+00:00

I have a friend who got pissed off at the fact that he was doing all the work and none of his group partners were doing anything, so he wrote only his name on the project. He got a 100 and they all got a 0.

SpaceManAndy · 2013-01-24T21:39:40+00:00

I think group projects teach you exactly what they are supposed to: That working with other people is hard, but you have to make it work. After school, in the workforce, very few lucky people get to work completely on their own. The rest of us need to work with other people to get things done. Some of them are great, others you have to stay on them the whole time, and others you find ways to work around. Welcome to life.

rific · 2013-01-24T22:00:18+00:00

It's the worst when your teacher/professor does not compensate for introverts. SOME PEOPLE CAN'T SIMPLY GET UP AND FIND A PARTNER YOU BASTARDS

ColdBeerz · 2013-01-24T19:10:11+00:00

So, so true.

jimmy_the_tulip · 2013-01-24T21:55:11+00:00

This is why good professors will require a portion of the submitted report state specifically what each group member did on group projects. But, some professors are just lazy. Sure, it's a life lesson...the first time! But for the 20+ group projects you will do throughout a university career after that first one...you know it's going to happen and there's not a damn thing you can do about it.

what_the_phooks · 2013-01-24T21:57:28+00:00

Group projects where groups were randomly assigned often turned out like this...but the few times we were able to select our own groups were the best especially in upper level classes where you knew who the hard workers/leaders were and could get them to join you to form super groups.

tsahyt · 2013-01-24T22:27:13+00:00

"Teamwork" and "Trust no one" are synonyms anyway.

tdotgoat · 2013-01-24T21:33:50+00:00

pfff, I already knew this from watching the X Files

jbd1986 · 2013-01-24T21:36:45+00:00

Senior Design... One dude shows up to no meetings, does no work, utterly bombs his part of the presentations... and somehow still graduates with an EE degree....

llamamymama · 2013-01-24T21:41:37+00:00

Valuable life lesson.

dominicl14 · 2013-01-24T21:58:22+00:00

DayZ

morton3 · 2013-01-24T22:03:45+00:00

This is entirely the professor's fault. It seems to me that teachers especially in college have no idea how to assign a group project. Don't give a group project designed for 3 people to a group of 5. Professors always make a final paper due with the project too. You can't write a paper between 5 fucking people that's not how it works. Professors need to design group projects where its actually helpful to have a few extra people working with you.

Misc_Rodriguez · 2013-01-24T22:05:52+00:00

I've sunk many a fellow student by ratting them out for being lazy fucks. No regrets.

UUGE_ASSHOLE · 2013-01-24T22:24:51+00:00

THIS!!!

I remember my last college group project was some communication class bullshit. We were basically given carte blanche to do any type of ~15 minute presentation in front of the class, only requirement is it had to be based in communication in some way. So the list of suggested topics handed out were just painfully horrible. After batting around a couple other shitty ideas I come up with the idea of how technology (and social networking) is changing the way we communicate. Each of us had a specific topic and we were supposed to talk for 3-5 minutes about basic info and how their topic (cellphones/text, email, facebook, twitter, video chat) changed (or is changing) the way we communicate. Easiest bullshit assignment evvvvvvver.

So 1 week before presentations are supposed to start two of the girls come up to me and say "We dont know how we are supposed to talk for 3 minutes about our topics (smart phones + facebook)". I roll my eyes and they continue along with "We think you three should continue on as is (Email, twitter, Skype/Video) and then in the middle of your presentation (twitter) I am going to pretend to send Becky a text saying how confused I am and that I have no idea whats going on. We will then change topics and we will do a separate presentation about "Poor communication in a group project" and talk about how stupid this idea was and how you came up with this idea and tricked us into agreeing and how much it sucks." ಠ_ಠ

Lost my mind. I had already come up with the powerpoint to go along with the project (took me at least 8 minutes), we were more or less all ready to go and they drop this bullshit. I eventually got to go back to finish up but thinking back to nightmares like that makes it tough.

afcagroo · 2013-01-24T22:27:05+00:00

Then group projects have taught you a valuable life lesson. I had to learn that one on the job. Fortunately, I had an experience in my first week that taught me that lesson, plus a similar (but equally important lesson). I have distilled these lessons into two simple rules that have served me well over the years:

Trust no one.
Trust nothing.

(House hadn't been on yet when I started my professional life. Otherwise I could have just learned those things from watching TV.)

besmirzanaj · 2013-01-24T22:30:46+00:00

Every. F**ing. Time

CaptainShanks · 2013-01-24T21:43:48+00:00

I think what their really trying to teach you is "get used to making the best of working with shitty people, because you will deal with them in almost every job ever".

sickoldman123 · 2013-01-24T22:30:28+00:00

I hated this at school and how grades actually depended on it. Why the fuck should my grade rely on some other fuckwit?!

In one lesson, I sent an entire section of a presentation to a girl for her to compile it with hers and two other people's.

Came to presentation day, and my slides weren't there. Nor were the other two people's. I stood there in front of a classful of people, baffled as I looked at foreign subjects. The girl we emailed it to had made her own slides. "Where is your input, Sickman?" "Well, she... it's not... there..."

D.

Cunt.

rick_22 · 2013-01-24T21:05:21+00:00

This is the main lesson to teamwork anyway...

49erShark · 2013-01-24T21:56:35+00:00

This is so true. I would have gotten a 4.0 GPA in my masters courses if not for the group project in the first class I took. I had a partner that asked us to do specific things and was acting as a leader. I complied and did all my parts. At the end of the project the ASSHOLE told the teacher that he did the project without any help. I showed the teacher things I sent as proof (WTF I HAD TO PROVE I DID SOMETHING?!?!) and he gave me a B in the class. I understand that may not be frustrating to many others but I paid over $30,000 for this masters program and worked my ass of to try and get a 4.0 only to end up with 3.8-3.9. you simply cannot brag about less than a 4.0....

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