Theatres make theatres a lot less appealing!

Theatre

• Extortionate prices for ticket
• Diabolically extortionate prices for food (I took my family (2 kids and my wife) to the theatre a month ago and it cost me £41. That's $64 USD!)
• The food is all low quality, high sugar dog shit and the coffee tastes like scalding dishwater
• The seats smell funny and I have no say over when the movie starts or how many hours of shitty commercials and phone warnings I need to sit through.
• The volume is deafening.
• The person next to me smells like piss and sweat
• The person next to me on the other side doesn't understand how fucking rude it is to use his smartphone to check facebook on full brightness.
• The person sitting behind me is a cunt with feet disporportionately large for his body and apparently he doesn't understand that kicking the seat of the person infront of you repeatedly might be slightly irritating.
• The person sitting infront of me is 9 foot tall.
• The person sitting infront of them laughs at an unreasonable level and should be tarred and feathered for laughing at the scene where the kid gets hit by the train when no one else did. Who the fuck does that?
• The gaggle of teenage girls sitting along from her should be ejected for screaming at every fucking sound effect and scene transition. Fuck that. Napalm.
• The floors make a weird clicking noise and stick when you walk to a seat that is inevitably taken by some fuckwit with an intellect too low to understand seating coordinates or which screen to sit in. "Excuse me. I think you might be in my seat." - Everyone sighs at you because they have to stand up to let people past for the 15th time because the people who designed the seating assumed that the entire row would arrive and sit in unison.
• You arrive as a spur-of-the-moment type event to socialise with friends. There are no seats or you need to sit at opposing corners of the screen.
• Blue LED's. Blue LED's every-fucking-where. No. Just no.

Home

• No ticket
• Food costs me the same as food would cost me at home.
• I get to eat good quality munchies of my own preference. Filter coffee and salt and vinegar almonds, thank you very much. Order a chinese while you're at it!
• My reclining sofa is leather. My dog keeps my legs warm.
• 7.1 Surround sound at a sensible level so that I don't finish the movie with PTSD.
• The person next to me smells like piss and sweat
• The person next to me on the other side is a cushion. Literally a cushion.
• Nobody sits behind me (reducing the chance of getting knived)
• Nobody sits infront me (reducing the chance of a GBH charge to myself)
• The gaggle of teenage girls isn't anywhere because Chris Hansen.
• The floors were layed by me with insulation and heating. I'm barefoot.
• Anyone can arrive at any time. Oh yea, did I mention there's free whisky and beer. Oh, and pretty much any film you want from the last 40 years. And my restroom doesn't smell like urine or require a security attendant.
• Blue LED's. Blue LED's every-fucking-where. Covered with black insulation tape.