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[–]toIsengard 463 points464 points ago

very simple solution, wet wipes and flannels

[–]No_Manners 247 points248 points ago

Or, you know, ice soap.

[–]kimbabs 73 points74 points ago

Or, you know, ice chili and a dog.

Ice soap, Ice Chili...

and Ice Chili is a reference to:2 AM Chili.

EDIT: Spelling and reference.

[–]EDante 20 points21 points ago

I remember this from when I first joined Reddit because it's one of the biggest things Reddit was stuck on at the time. Great trip down nostalgia lane. Thanks for that!

[–]DontDropTheIceSoap 3 points4 points ago

Be careful when using the ice soap!

[–]royisabau5 9 points10 points ago

When I first made an account, everyone reference this and I had no clue what they were talking about

[–]No_Manners 20 points21 points ago

It was definitely an interesting couple of days. I've never seen anything stick as hard as Ice Soap did and it never gets referenced without being followed by 2AM Chili. And they weren't even related in any way, they just happened to be on concurrent days.

[–]florabee 3 points4 points ago

haha, then I guess you missed the ice soap/2 AM chili combo that was also passed around at the same time.

[–]nietAlessandro 31 points32 points ago

In case anyone doesn't know: Ice soap.

[–]angrytortilla 387 points388 points ago

Tongue = built-in wet wipe.

[–]Gallifrasian 606 points607 points ago

DON'T

[–]aromero 145 points146 points ago

yes.

[–]CB05201 513 points514 points ago

Taste like dirty pennies and bad choices.

[–]i_am_dad 228 points229 points ago

Better than Jolly Ranchers... ಠ_ಠ

[–]CatsBellybuttons 147 points148 points ago

if you're referring to what I think you're referring to, I just barfed everywhere

[–]darpho 140 points141 points ago

Even if he's not referring to that, you still just barfed everywhere unless you're capable of unbarfing.

[–]not-alex 94 points95 points ago

You can't unbarf?

[–]tuck5649 227 points228 points ago

My dog unbarfs all the time. It's gross.

[–]brancasterr 60 points61 points ago

Ha! Darpho can't unbarf. What a loser.

[–]N69sZelda 13 points14 points ago

everyone point and laugh!!!

[–]SOMETIMES_I_GO_2_FAR 15 points16 points ago

Schrodinger's vomit, actually.

[–]theRainChicken 9 points10 points ago

You mean...eating?

[–]Bottled_Void 31 points32 points ago

Jolly Ranchers vs Doritos. You decide.

[–]Mogwoggle 220 points221 points ago

Amateur.

List Of The Most Horrible Things On Reddit You'll Regret Clicking: In Order Of Discovery

WARNING: Clicking any of these may be harmful to your breakfast

Blue Waffle isn't on this list, most people saw it before Reddit and thus isn't on the list.
If something's not on here, reply (with the relevant link) for consideration.

[–]haddis 48 points49 points ago

[–]mariekeap 36 points37 points ago

You missed the IAMA about the guy who screwed his mom.

[–]CrystalElyse 18 points19 points ago

The Swamps of Dagobah

You forgot the best one.

[–]SOMETIMES_I_GO_2_FAR 17 points18 points ago

Who would make this list? why what how oh god

[–]Bottled_Void 4 points5 points ago

I think I've read all of these. I can vouch for them being gross.

[–]EagleSky 28 points29 points ago

God fucking dammit why did I click both.

[–]IxaanBabe 16 points17 points ago

I had never read these and was curious and decided to read. Immediate regret

[–]Svennson 8 points9 points ago

Now I have phantom tastes in my mouth. Fucking hell.

[–]yohankenobi 7 points8 points ago

Read Jolly Ranchers before, but never Doritos. I made a verbal eww sound at work, and now everyone wants to know why. So now I sit here with the decision to share the story. I think I'm going to share the story.

[–]Mr_Question 6 points7 points ago

Oh GOD WHYYYYYYYY

Because I must

[–]Atanvarno 6 points7 points ago

I saw the Jolly Rnchers link purple and I tried hard to remember what it was about. My curiosity won and I clicked. Now I just read the Doritos link. FML.

[–]OddlyOffensive 3 points4 points ago

Wow. I just read both of those. No regrets. Thank you for sharing, sir.

[–]wh0ever 3 points4 points ago

I learned a good lesson today. Don't clear your internet history because then you don't know whether or not you've read horrible things on Reddit because everything is fucking blue. That Doritos story is just as disgusting the second time around.

[–]brancasterr 4 points5 points ago

NO.

[–]brancasterr 6 points7 points ago

You mother fucker, I almost forgot about that.

[–]Noobymcnoobcake 29 points30 points ago

Dunno why but that gif always makes me happy.

[–]SOMETIMES_I_GO_2_FAR 34 points35 points ago

I think we're all collectively in love.

[–]C_T_C_C 11 points12 points ago

Then you'll love /r/thestopgirl

[–]Domineyton 13 points14 points ago

[–]bonyhawk 4 points5 points ago

Nobody gets tired of seeing the same gif in that subreddit?

[–]TurboShorts 7 points8 points ago

thatsthejoke.jpg

[–]angrytortilla 6 points7 points ago

It's like licking the side of a grilled cheese sandwich.

[–]Sly_R 11 points12 points ago

ಠ_ಠ

[–]PorcelainToad 11 points12 points ago

:-|

I can't type a linemouth that is linemouthing hard enough to communicate the appropriate amount of linemouth needed here.

[–]timmsthethird 16 points17 points ago

And you can use the paste formed from the baby powder and 'saliva' to brush your teeth!

[–]the_k_i_n_g 4 points5 points ago

Slow clap

[–]brada1188 3 points4 points ago

gag

[–]Flashthunder 15 points16 points ago

Baby wipes are a must have for all extended outdoor adventures. PROTIP: If you are ever a wildland firefighter bring as many as you can carry to basecamp, then sell them for $40 a box.

[–]krazygamerhead 579 points580 points ago

Lies, by day 3 everyone smells so much that you become indifferent to it.

Edit: Also I'm pretty sure the only proper shower people got that weekend was when it rained for 10min on day 2.

[–]nokomn 76 points77 points ago

I just used some of my ice soap.

[–]10minsmax 132 points133 points ago

[–]ceejiesqueejie 16 points17 points ago

I laughed my ass off when that shit came out. Laughed harder when people were talking about doing that shit for real.

[–]ABMarley 148 points149 points ago

I cleaned in the river... does that count? biodegradable soap and everything

[–]krazygamerhead 54 points55 points ago

I wish I was that lucky, Electric Forest was a giant field for camping lol

[–]TigerMeltz 28 points29 points ago

Electric Forest has ways to get clean. so does Bisco. I remember being particularly dirty at all good once or twice

[–]krazygamerhead 22 points23 points ago

Yeah, $10 showers.

[–]sikefoo 38 points39 points ago

Baby wipes, you fool.

[–]Bythegodsisay 15 points16 points ago

They are a life saver. Also works as toliet paper.

[–]Ax3boy 39 points40 points ago

Don't make a habit out of them as toilet paper. Your anus will become drier than a prostitute in retirement.

[–]Bythegodsisay 5 points6 points ago

i hate clingers more than i enjoy sitting in a portashitter longer trying to get rid of them with regular tp

[–]TigerMeltz 25 points26 points ago

you mean you didnt fill up a water jug to make an impromptu shower and you PAID to use water?

[–]krazygamerhead 14 points15 points ago

no no no, we used the traditional "camping shower bag" method with water we got for free from the bottle fill stations. Just had no good way, like a river, to get clean for cheap :\

[–]TigerMeltz 7 points8 points ago

I wish there was a river near burning man.

[–]DSettahr 454 points455 points ago

Biodegradable soap isn't actually that good for rivers. Rinsing off in the water is ok, but you shouldn't be using any soap anywhere in or near surface water.

Soaps and detergents (including biodegradable ones) contain nutrients. When these nutrients get into surface water, they can contribute to what is known as "cultural eutrophication," which is basically human-induced rapid aging of water bodies. It can cause thing like algae blooms and oxygen depletion.

[–]SkywalkrMcBurgerDuck 129 points130 points ago

Tried to inform people in a nice way to create a better future

Gets downvoted

[–]DSettahr 51 points52 points ago

Haha, thanks for making me laugh. :-)

[–]SkywalkrMcBurgerDuck 16 points17 points ago

Anytime friend.

[–]h2oboi89 11 points12 points ago

this. Spent a week in the field with a whole platoon of soldiers. Was one of the first to get a shower at the end of the week. You don't realize how bad you smelled until you walk past all the people that were still in line for showers.

[–]kryptykk 14 points15 points ago

Can confirm, by day 3 at BOnnaroo smells don't matter

[–]10minsmax 17 points18 points ago

Unrelated, but as a skinny guy, I don't even know how I would get a fully-grown woman up on my shoulders.

[–]Claptrap8 56 points57 points ago

Im concerned about your emphasis on fully grown...

[–]10minsmax 14 points15 points ago

I started to comment "Like in the picture" then paused and went "oh, I get it! He's suggesting I'm acting suspicious in trying to make it abundantly clear that I don't mean little girls!" Or something like that... Good use of subtlety, old chap.

[–]pennypigtails 1 point2 points ago

For the women that don't know this exists, you can purchase a box of refreshing flushable vagina wipes at any store. JUST BUY THEM WOMEN!

[–]Day_Nuh 32 points33 points ago

I don't understand this. When we go to music festivals, we go home or to a hotel each night. Can people explain why no one is bathing? Where do you sleep? I am obviously not hard core enough.

[–]pellycanfly 131 points132 points ago

Friggin 1%'r with your hotels and showers. Get him!

[–]Day_Nuh 29 points30 points ago

Oh no! I'm a poor lady, I swear it!

[–]pellycanfly 32 points33 points ago

False alarm, guys.

[–]s1295 27 points28 points ago

Tents. Not enough facilities for the thousands of attendees to shower.

[–]Day_Nuh 3 points4 points ago

I guess I just have never been to very large festivals. I tend to stick to the ones nearest to home too.

[–]edit edit edit editimnottouchingyou 12 points13 points ago

When we go to Bonnaroo, we sleep in tents. There's a whole god damn sea of tents.

However, we bring jugs of water to wash our hair and rinse off our bodies. Baby wipes, too.

[–]haylstorm1020 45 points46 points ago

As a girl, this is one of my worst fears :/

[–]hinckley 86 points87 points ago

[–]91042312730523804328 154 points155 points ago

Or, in my case: Festival day 3, After three days of her crying in a tent we go home early $500 poorer.

[–]LoLBROLoL 83 points84 points ago

story time...

[–]91042312730523804328 112 points113 points ago

I mistook her begging me to take her to a music festival to mean that she wanted to go see some music, so ready for a new experience I spent $400 on tickets, $100 on gas and loaded my car with camping equipment and food. Her parents bought her ticket. (this was the first problem, I had $500 worth of enjoyment I expected to get out of the trip, and she had contributed $15 worth of snacks.)

Day 1: After driving most of the day, We arrived at the festival and being the well equipped outdoorsman that I am I set up a fabulous comfortable nest for us. Sprits were high, we went inside and watched a few crappy bands neither of us wanted to see.

Day 2: She had decided that she didn't want to see anything before lunch, so we just hungout by the tent, I was enjoying myself watching high people stumble all around us and spent the day smiling, she stayed in the tent and read. There were some bands I wanted to see, but she didn't want to so I just tried to stay positive, wondering why she seemed so unmotivated to see actual music after begging me to bring her. Then it was time to go in, we saw the two acts that she wanted to see and it was marvelous because for the first time in a day she had a smile on her face, I had a blast for about four hours, then we went back to the tent in the dark to sleep.

Day 3: "It's too hot, I want a shower, I don't want to poop in a portapotty, all these people are dumb, why didn't you bring alcohol"(she told me not to remember) She told me there were no bands she wanted to see today, I said some I wanted to see, so we decided when we were leaving to see the first one. That time came and went, I was exasperated and unable to get anything other than a grumpy frown from her. The next band I wanted to see was starting soon, she wouldn't move and had just bitched at me all morning. I had tried everything I could to get her to cheer up, and was totally at a loss, I had assumed that since she asked to come here this would be an easy weekend where we would watch music like I thought she wanted to and I would just go along and enjoy myself without making much effort. After a day and a half of complaining and close proximity I just said I was going in. (There was more misery that lead to this, but I am still dating this girl and have somehow blocked most of the events from my memory) When I said I was leaving she decided she was coming with me, we made it halfway to the entrance before she broke down crying and sat down in the middle of the path. I had no idea what I had done wrong, while trying to get her to stop I asked if she wanted to go back to the tent, she didn't say yes, but her crying slowed. So I grabbed her hand and took her to the camp, by the time I had gotten there she was back to crying. I was so fed up I just started putting stuff in the car to leave. This made the crying worse, but at this point I didn't care. She shouted at me for being stupid and wasting money (which I would argue she did by begging to go to a four day festival if all she wanted to see was Robyn) I got all my stuff in the car, we both got in and drove away. As soon as we left the gate she stopped crying smiled looked at me and said she felt so much better.

Because that doesn't tell the whole story and you don't care TL:DR: Went to first 4 day music festival, saw 4 hours of music, didn't even get to have sex in a tent!

[–]LamebrainEddy 215 points216 points ago

dude your girlfriend's a dick

[–]SavageNoble 42 points43 points ago

I still don't understand why she was so miserable.

[–]91042312730523804328 30 points31 points ago

She had been to the festival a previous year with her friends, but since their parents weren't bankrolling their tickets they could not afford to go with her. She needed a ride with a tent and had no other friends so we went together. The reason she was so miserable was that her expectation was to have as much fun as she had had with 3 of her best friends perpetually high for four days. It was not till she arrived at the festival that she realized that was the aspect she had enjoyed. Being there with me trying to make her happy while people around her enjoyed themselves just annoyed her.

The whole weekend I was trying to understand why she was so miserable, which prevented any possibility of enjoying myself.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]91042312730523804328 9 points10 points ago

I know, this was over a year ago so we're not splitting up over it. She never apologized, but I don't bring it up because it upsets her to talk about because she feels bad for being a gigantic grump. This meme just brought back the memory which I have mostly forgotten.

[–]--moot-- 18 points19 points ago

"Grumpy" is what someone is when they don't get enough sleep. That usually goes away by mid-day.

Your girlfriend did this for days and was acting like a gigantic asshole.

I'm going to bet she often uses this "crying and pouting" as a tool of manipulation.

[–]isdnpro 7 points8 points ago

so we're not splitting up over it.

Fair enough but keep in mind, she didn't apologise so she doesn't see anything wrong with the behaviour. She's prone to do it again when she doesn't get her own way in the future... be wary.

[–]Beachcoma 5 points6 points ago

Be careful bro, this sounds like my wife. Really childish and emotionally immature.

[–]LoLBROLoL 34 points35 points ago

This story needed more drugs/alcohol and sex. She sounds like a psycho child, bro. Good luck with that!

[–]Elieftibiowai 37 points38 points ago

god, i love being single

[–]Flene 6 points7 points ago

I've been in your shoes. Man, you're not joined at the hip; go see your bands! She can read in the tent if she wants to. People have different likes and dislikes and all that time spent cooped up together necessitates some time apart.

[–]whatawimp 7 points8 points ago

your girlfriend is immature.

[–]squashtickler 7 points8 points ago

She seems unstable, man. I would bail.

[–]MgrLtCaptCmmdrBalls 4 points5 points ago

Dude why are you still with her? Thanks for delivering on the story but now I just feel bad for ya, life's too short to deal with difficult people like that. To the curb with her! And for christ's sake please do not marry this selfish child.

[–]mike2612 12 points13 points ago

dude what the fuck. you are whipped as hell and dating a legitimate child. if that ever happens again grow a pair and tell her to act her age not the width between her cunt flaps

[–]JabblesSon 3 points4 points ago

I feel like you are the kind of person who would tell a guy that your girlfriend cheated on you with, "It's OK bro I deserved it". Basically just a gutless squid. I'm sure this comment won't be popular. But your lack of nuts in the story made me feel physically ill.

[–]goodnightshirt 3 points4 points ago

Sasquatch 2011?

[–]JustSomeD00d 2 points3 points ago

Dude, I don't know how long you have been dating, but that sounds like break up material to me. I seriously would not deal with some chick having an emotional break down after spending 500 dollars on something she wanted to do.

[–]thetallgiant 2 points3 points ago

Is your girlfriend 9 years old?

[–]gulpeg 207 points208 points ago

If you can smell it, wash your neck bro

[–]milogoestocoolidge 80 points81 points ago

It ain't gonna rain no more, no more, it ain't gonna rain no more. How the heck can I wash my neck, if it ain't gonna rain no more, no more?

[–]Onixlee37 58 points59 points ago

I had a friend named bob. He couldn't swim a bit! We threw him in the water and well his name just didn't fit.

[–]sirius89 85 points86 points ago

This thread is going places.

[–]mahermiac 210 points211 points ago

"Did you know girl's vaginas smell like fish?"

-16 year olds who have never seen a vagina.

[–]MrPeppa 37 points38 points ago

That dude in the picture doesn't need to see the vagina in order to smell it

[–]mahermiac 32 points33 points ago

I'm not really talking about the picture, so much as the comments in this thread.

[–]David_Does_Dallas 26 points27 points ago

You smell like fish.

[–]hasavagina 7 points8 points ago

All whose balls obviously smell of fresh mountain air.

[–]bigh7609 147 points148 points ago

If you can still smell, you're doing it wrong

[–]CarolineTurpentine 179 points180 points ago

I know. By hour three I've done so much blow that I won't smell anything for a week.

[–]col4bin 47 points48 points ago

You know how to rage a festie.

[–]Sly_R 23 points24 points ago

I know how to fester agey.

[–]scorpio242 21 points22 points ago

I know how to festie a rager

[–]apocalypsebaconstrip 10 points11 points ago

I know how to rastle a nager

[–]fadisa 8 points9 points ago

I know how to Ralph a Nader

[–]sqrt-1loveyou 20 points21 points ago

LSD and MDMA would be better for a festie in my opinion.

That and a few Altoid tins of pre rolled joints.

Lots and lots of joints.

[–]lyssers91 19 points20 points ago

Baby wipes all the way! Learned that shit in the field. They also make dry shampoo and conditioner (no water needed)

[–]karebean 99 points100 points ago

Guys should know that their packages don't exactly stay fresh for days either.

[–]maximomore2 7 points8 points ago

As a guy, this is what I was thinking. Got to use that talc.

[–]VoodooAK 12 points13 points ago

Not many girls are hoisting the boys up onto their shoulders.

[–]_loserface_ 11 points12 points ago

Then put her down.

[–]notalibrarian 41 points42 points ago

We went to Bonnaroo...we were advised to buy a 7' length of hose because they have "troughs" there with taps. Attach length of hose to tap...and there you have a portable "shower" which is better than nothing in the 40 degree heat of Tennessee. And everyone's right...it's like garlic breath. Once everyone has it, you don't notice it anymore.

[–]sjtwigg 29 points30 points ago

For a second there I was confused since it barely gets 40 degrees there in the winter and is 105 in the summer, but then I realized you must have come from across the pond (or Canada).

[–]notalibrarian 12 points13 points ago

Canada indeed! :)

[–]LEGITIMATE_SOURCE 25 points26 points ago

So you come here degrading our Fahrenheit and don't even think to add a °C next to your stupid number?

Apologize!

[–]Cooper720 249 points250 points ago

4 days? Last year I had passes for a 12 day festival. At that point you can't tell if its your girlfriend or the fish and chip stand next to the stage.

[–]tall_glass_of_water 104 points105 points ago

where is this 12-day festival you speak of? i don't know if i could handle 12. i lose touch with reality after 2.

[–]zeteL 40 points41 points ago

Idk about 12 days but Peace and Love in Sweden went on for about 7 if I remember correctly.

[–]jerkerthemerker 63 points64 points ago

I think it's 6 days, I was there, but can't really remember.

[–]jarl_the_creator 76 points77 points ago

Good sign

[–]Throwawaychica 48 points49 points ago

2 days? I get frightened if I am away from my toilet longer than 2 hours.

[–]Cooper720 13 points14 points ago

Ottawa Bluesfest. And of course it just happened to be on during a massive heat wave.

[–]ImOnlyDying 10 points11 points ago

People spend all 12 days at Bluesfest? I've never seen tents or anything.

[–]xetal 4 points5 points ago

BPM Festival in Playa del Carmen, Mexico goes for 10 days.

http://www.thebpmfestival.com/

[–]BruceLeah 3 points4 points ago

I did Benicassim for 9 or 10 days, during a heatwave. I never showered so much in my life! They were big, communal, ice cold showers. You just went to cool down. None of this being a smelly gross bitch.

[–]Vince_the_Prince 4 points5 points ago

I'll do you one better. KaZantip(NSFW link) is a month long festival.

[–]usfunca 8 points9 points ago

HAH! Redditor spends 12 days outdoors.

Rich.

[–]Quenchiest 10 points11 points ago

*dumpster behind the fish and chips stand

[–]LTVOLT 12 points13 points ago

if I can't shower I dab a paper towel in rubbing alcohol and rub my body a bit- it does wonder. It kills all germs and smells. I use it occasionally just to kill my body oder

[–]Agnostalypse 38 points39 points ago

[–]Gamehenge2001 8 points9 points ago

Go to Summercamp in IL. Probably one of the best festivals in the country, but some of the worst conditions of all time.

[–]Phil6x 5 points6 points ago

hahah oh scamp. Now with EDC chicago happening on the same dates, looks like the hippies and ragers will be split apart

[–]Gamehenge2001 3 points4 points ago

yea, I saw that. I like the way scamp is heading with more and more jam bands. It's becoming more of a hippie festival nowadays, which is great in my opinion. I am not really into the whole electronic scene.

[–]thatsabargain 49 points50 points ago

Honestly I can see why people like these type of things and I have nothing against the people that go, but this picture reminds me why I don't go to these kind of things. I'm pretty anal about being clean..

[–]jazminePwns 49 points50 points ago

i'm pretty anal about anal

[–]Infinite_Monkee 8 points9 points ago

me three... just shudder at the idea of this

[–]funkydo 4 points5 points ago

It's about what we consider clean. Modern human showering every day, with soap and adding other scents, may be too clean.

[–]LEGITIMATE_SOURCE 14 points15 points ago

Fuck that. Some of my best memories are from backpacking for weeks at a time. Then again I stay cleaner backpacking than the hippies at festivals.

Source: went to Bonnaroo twice. Tennessee, never again.

[–]SaintKingCocoa 17 points18 points ago

I always had the best sex during those days.. The dirtiness really made everything all the better! I just wish I actually got her number.. None the less best 4 days of my life.

Also, that smell lingered in my nose for days after I left... I regret nothing!

[–]Ed-alicious 6 points7 points ago

Seriously, most festivals have showers these days. You just gotta be able to get your shit together enough to get yourself to them. And queue.

[–]queen_ghost 42 points43 points ago

baby wipes.

also: balls can smell just as bad when they get sweaty.

[–]daddytwofoot 12 points13 points ago

It's all about the context of the picture. Not many girls carry their boyfriends on their shoulders.

[–]Buhnanah 17 points18 points ago

TIL everyone on Reddit does drugs.

[–]EsotericVerbosity 6 points7 points ago

TIL everyone here has handy tips for not being disgusting.

Which, presumably, comes from experience in being disgusting. Or, in disgusting conditions they subjected themselves to.

[–]misunderstandingly 56 points57 points ago

So my best friend and I went to "Close Up" in DC. That's where high school kids in the US spend a couple of weeks in Washington D.C. on a politics-directed program. Well we were both inexperienced (read: virgins) and pretty insecure at the time. Going out of town and living in hotels with a bunch of girls from other states was pretty exciting and terrifying at the same time (oh I wish that /r/seddit existed then - you kids today do not know the power you have,..)

So we were there during an inauguration which was cool. I'm not telling which one - it was too long ago!

So my buddy got this chubby girl up on his shoulders so she could see the parade. Now this was the closest he had been to a girl in HS; and he was definitely unprepared for having her mysterious lady parts up against the back of his neck. He was going to hold this girl up there as long as he could humanly manage it to prolong the "sexy" experience.

From where I was - a foot or two away. I could SMELL her. The odor was strong and hung in the air. Cloying. And it wasn't the front door that needed to be washed. She'd left something in the trunk. The red river had run brown. Get me? One might have said to her; 'there are some Klingons circling around Uranus.'

He stood with her like that for almost two hours which must have been back-breaking and nose-ruining. And at the time his hormones would have reported; "worth it!"

What about me, you ask. How did I do? Well I got a blow job in a hotel room and vomited on on an airplane-either one of which was better than getting scoliosis from Miss. Muffin-Top and her Hot Melty Chocolate Chips.

TL:DR / Ladies; If you don't wipe your bottom, I will not help you see the parade. (But my buddy might!)

[–]xyzzyzzy 65 points66 points ago

I'm gonna wager a guess and say that it was the 2009 inauguration because you talk about women like you're still in high school.

[–]blindmansarrow 28 points29 points ago

I always thought it strange that most pretty girls only buy tickets to the first and second day of the festival.

[–]Arnn 5 points6 points ago

Subtle...

[–]PlayfulPunches 70 points71 points ago

Might also be your balls

[–]Reboh79 55 points56 points ago

That makes a lot of sense... considering the image implies that the girl's cooch was on his neck, inches from his nose, while his balls are tucked into his jeans.

[–]FreaXoMatic 27 points28 points ago

Seems like you have never been to a festival.

[–]MestizoJoe 2 points3 points ago

Why don't you just turn around and face your problem head-on? I doubt she'll mind.

[–]Kief_Chief 48 points49 points ago

"Someone must be cooking fish tacos!"

[–]Eviscerati 12 points13 points ago

With onions

[–]wiggty 3 points4 points ago

Wet wipes do wonders for short periods without showering. Years of field training in the military and many long days in Southwest Asia have proven that.

[–]drfunkenstien014 3 points4 points ago

Remember bonnaroo has the massive mushroom fountain.

[–]zac4e 3 points4 points ago

You wont care, aslong as you are drunk and is gettin some. Festival-sex is the best. Also wetwipes, that goes for males aswell

[–]jonnymars 5 points6 points ago

It's not a proper festival if you don't end up with tide marks on your fingers

[–]lovehate615 6 points7 points ago

Thanks for the mental image :S

[–]Ch33sus 5 points6 points ago

Was that "oudoor" typo really a typo? Or did OP just not know what to expect from an odor music fest?

[–]3kaufmann 7 points8 points ago

Im sure the felling is mutual.

[–]MgrLtCaptCmmdrBalls 6 points7 points ago

Did she fall??

[–]mav023 9 points10 points ago

Doesn't matter, still had sex.

[–]spacecowboy69 0 points1 point ago

festy problems haha

[–]HarryPeratestiz 2 points3 points ago

Sasquatch 2013. Let's hope not.

[–]Benwithbeer 0 points1 point ago

Rock Werchter :D?

[–]Iwannabewitty 0 points1 point ago

Pheromones are a hell of a drug

[–]MyNewNewUserName 2 points3 points ago

Two Words: Wet Wipes.

[–]blinkac 2 points3 points ago

So people don't have showers on festivals in another countries?

[–]chr1stine 2 points3 points ago

baby wipes! the hour plus wait for the showers at coachella just don't seem worth it

[–]danyul91 2 points3 points ago

Baby wipes - shower in a packet.

[–]bathroomstalin 0 points1 point ago

"Don't take this the wrong way, Becky, but you smell like an anchovie's cunt. "

[–]GonzoRobard 2 points3 points ago

NO!

No, no, no, no, no, no, no...

No.

You're doing it wrong.

I'm a Bonnaroo vet, and I shower every day, sometimes twice a day. And no, I don't have access to VIP showers.

The answer? Gallon bottles of water.

1 bottle = 1 shower.

This is so much easier if you have a S.O. with you to pour. Throw on a pair of swim trunks and flip-flops, grab your Doc Bronner's, then lather, and rinse.

It makes for a much more comfortable weekend. Trust me on this. Do it! Oh, and of course, get-down time in the tent is much tastier if you and your partner are both clean.

So yeah... gallon bottles.

[–]SsimpleJack 0 points1 point ago

This might not be the right forum, but I've always been disgusted by people in movies/books, waking up and 'doing it' again! I'm like, HELLO morning breath and last night's crusties. Real life.

[–]vkurchz 2 points3 points ago

the fuck is wrong with you, if your bitch smells like a fish, you tell her to go for a swim.

[–]22Saugus22 2 points3 points ago

Heres a little secret, hit the public shower at 2 in the morning an you will have the place to your self with all the hot water you could ask for. Bring a beer if you like.