all 176 comments

[–]KoalaYummies 301 points302 points ago

Those Sony wraparound headphones were the coolest thing back in middle school. My pair were borrowed by my friend Dan and he never gave them back before he moved to Georgia. Fuck you Dan, I want my headphones back.

[–]IHaveAStory 128 points129 points ago

Dude! Dan did that to you too? He must have a whole collection by now!

[–]gulpeg 96 points97 points ago

I have a pair of Dan's earphones, they may be yours.. It's a long story, but Dan stole my girlfriend at a party, I stole a pair of his earphones so I didn't have to hear them having sex in the adjacent room during the party.. Great earphones

[–]HiImDan 154 points155 points ago

I'm gonna need those back.

[–]gulpeg 67 points68 points ago

Fuck you Dan, those earphones are my consolation prize.. Keep the girl

[–]HiImDan 54 points55 points ago

I did you a fucking favor. She was nothing but trouble. But no seriously, I need those back.

[–]gulpeg 33 points34 points ago

K, what's your address?

[–]rmacleod18 59 points60 points ago

STRANGER DANGER

[–]Imalurkerwhocomments 13 points14 points ago

the dan in danger should be bold

[–]rmacleod18 7 points8 points ago

thank you

[–]Hesthatguy1423 2 points3 points ago

dan sounds like an ass

[–]poompachompa 2 points3 points ago

Hey you make some Dan good pizza. Located in michigan

[–]Waylander94 2 points3 points ago

Scumbag Dan?

[–]vfxDan 8 points9 points ago

I don't even know what I did...

[–]cjs1916 8 points9 points ago

God damn it Dan.

[–]TheSneakyBunny 1 point2 points ago

Dirty Dan?

[–]keirsch 4 points5 points ago

No, I'm dirty Dan!

[–]Blamemeta 0 points1 point ago

No I"M Dirty Dan

[–]DarkBomberX 2 points3 points ago

That might be one of the most depressing things I read today.

[–]HiImDan 9 points10 points ago

Alright, give your address to gulpeg. I think I have this worked out.

[–]IHaveAStory 5 points6 points ago

Dan my man! Thanks for getting this figured out!

[–]HiImDan 3 points4 points ago

Just don't let KoalaYummies know. They'd be pissed.

[–]Josh_The_Boss 5 points6 points ago

Dan borrowed my shirt in high school, and "lost" it. I saw him in the mall wearing it once.

[–]vfxDan 2 points3 points ago

Fuck you Josh, you said I could keep it.

[–]Rainb0wcrash99 0 points1 point ago

Woah holy shit i have a friend named dan who does have a head phone collection! .-. Hes cool also he owns a comic book shop

[–]VTMZ 1 point2 points ago

Tell a story about it.

[–]IHaveAStory 12 points13 points ago

Dan watched the clock countdown to lunch, he loves his lunch breaks. He got into his beat up second hand Camry and drove down to his favorite sandwich shop; the sandwiches were okay the view for him is why he went. It was right across from a middle school and he had the lunches timed perfectly. He was like an alcoholic; if you asked him why he went to that sandwich shop he would tell you he liked the service and the food. And he probably could have passed a lie detector test with that answer. It is strange how our minds can hide what is obvious to others from ourselves so that we do not feel ashamed. For Dan it was his attraction towards the younger generations. He had talked with a friend of his about this once, they had been at this exact sandwich shop that he was now headed to, and his friend had noticed that Dan’s eyes kept straying. So he had asked him point blank “Are you a pervert?” Dan had met his friend’s eyes with a quizzical look and answered “No, that’s an awkward thing to ask.” And his buddy had dropped the conversation there. Dan had never met anyone for lunch there again. It was not too hard because he did not have many friends to start with, and most of his few friends were more of acquaintances that had known him for many years and they did not mind grabbing a bite to eat or a beer with him every now and again. They were not the kind of friends who would help you out of a sticky situation. So now Dan went by himself to his sandwich shop and he liked it this way.
He pulled up to a stoplight, and his eyes strayed across the street to a college age girl in a short skirt walking up the road. Dan seldom reflected on his life, it was not a happy life. It had been a fairly good life with some potential when he graduated college, sure he was a business major and caught plenty of flack for that but he had married a doctor and it seemed things may go in a happily ever after sort of way. Then the doctor filed a divorce 2 years later and his job fired him and life began its downward spiral. It’s funny how we can try to blame things on others actions, even reading this you may think “What a bummer, poor guy”, but in reality we should look and see a character flaw. So Dan even looked at his life, he saw a poor guy who had never got a chance. And now at 43 years old and overweight he blamed society for what had taken his prime.
The light turned green and Dan pulled out.
Billy was Dan 20 years ago, he was just starting to look at life as a adult and he could see his life going amazing places. He had an old ’63 Chevy that he had restored himself and he was tooling along at a good speed thinking about all the women that he would seduce when he started college. “Boy I bet they have never seen a real country boy” he thought as Hank Williams Jr. blared out of his speakers.
The light turned yellow and he thought about breaking but nailed the gas instead. “Yeehaww!!!” he screamed as he flew into a red light at 65mph.
Dan’s Camry was just a cardboard box from the way it crumpled under that Chevy’s bumper. Dan never saw Billy’s truck and his last thought was “How life changes…”
Billy woke up in a hospital room a couple days later, he would not have a fun recovery and that limp would lead to him being overweight, the pain meds he would be addicted to would lead to his first and second divorces.

[–]newtonp01 1 point2 points ago

Why do I feel like you should write the screenplay for the next Tarantino movie?

[–]IHaveAStory 1 point2 points ago

Why do I feel like I would be rich if I was actually that good? haha!
Thanks though!

[–]KingShit_of_FuckMtn 6 points7 points ago

This definitely sounds like something Dan would do.

[–]skylla05 6 points7 points ago

Classic Dan.

[–]awesomedan24 3 points4 points ago

Sorry, they broke ;_;

[–]BrodyApproves 4 points5 points ago

Go on omegle & ask for them back. He's a pretty nice guy so I don't see why he wouldn't give them back.

[–]hate_is_beautiful 2 points3 points ago

I live in Georgia, I'll get them for you, bro.

[–]Ewindal 2 points3 points ago

I'm using a similar set as we speak. They are incredibly uncomfortable.

[–]DanTheRip 1 point2 points ago

This got me pretty paranoid, and I'm not even from the US.

[–]CA719 1 point2 points ago

I want my pink shirt back!

[–]Carbon_is_Neat 0 points1 point ago

To be fair to Dan, he did sell some pretty awesome weed.

[–]zomgwtf6 0 points1 point ago

YEA! FUCK DAN!

[–]Sobertese 0 points1 point ago

Sony? Don't you mean Coby?

Or is that just a four child household thing

[–]KYLE-BROFLOSKI -1 points0 points ago

They used to get tangled worse than earbuds if you just tossed them in your backpack.

[–]JasonGD1982 122 points123 points ago

He may end up inventing headphones that plug into your ear and play what you are thinking.

[–]skond 43 points44 points ago

...for when it's so loud you can't hear yourself think.

[–]spansky 12 points13 points ago

Wow guiz we are into something here

[–]skyman724 7 points8 points ago

WHAT? I CAN'T HEAR YOU! I THINK MY EARDRUMS ARE BROKEN!

[–]infinitemonkeyrage 1 point2 points ago

Maybe you're connecting the wrong type of audio jack to them? Try XLR instead of Phono/RCA.

[–]NovaDeez 9 points10 points ago

I don't know, I'm pretty sure I would pay someone to NOT let people hear what I'm thinking.

[–]ninjaturrtle 8 points9 points ago

I don't know man, think about the people that can't speak for whatever reason

[–]trampus1 5 points6 points ago

That sounds like a Steven Wright invention.

[–]ShinyAssholes 1 point2 points ago

Then it would play for me about how much I hate you. Lol I'm just kidding dude. But when I was his age i stuck my dick into my ear! OK see you tomorrow.

[–]JasonGD1982 0 points1 point ago

k

[–]UTChunx 88 points89 points ago

That kid looks like Tom Hanks

[–]Soylent_Hero 37 points38 points ago

he's gonna make it Big

[–]OldAsARailroad 26 points27 points ago

He's gonna something about the Polar Express

[–]Soylent_Hero 18 points19 points ago

Polar Express

-OldAsARailroad

[–]OldAsARailroad 11 points12 points ago

Wow how did I not even catch that

[–]HermannKusters 13 points14 points ago

Well, you are as old as a railroad...

[–]washablememe 0 points1 point ago

Some might say he is on the road to perdition

[–]Etilpoh 5 points6 points ago

Came here expecting this comment, was not disappointed

[–]zaxnyd 5 points6 points ago

I, too, came here expecting that comment, as well as yours, and was dually not disappointed.

[–]Soylent_Hero 1 point2 points ago

Double ditto, but I made a movie joke instead.

[–]gunhorseunlimited 1 point2 points ago

I had the same thought, but I couldn't figure out why I thought that, so I assumed it was something stupid. I'm glad I'm not the only one.

[–]yewwork1 38 points39 points ago

I love that "I got this shit all figured out" face.

[–]owwhatthe 7 points8 points ago

He's like an infant Johnny Vegas.

[–]BlackForestMountain 0 points1 point ago

He looks like he's gonna be Brad Pitt in Burn After Reading

[–]Mikealden 21 points22 points ago

He's going to the doctor. I'm pretty sure he stabbed it through his ear.

[–]haiku_robot 12 points13 points ago

He's going to the 
doctor. I'm pretty sure he 
stabbed it through his ear. 

[–]pbnf 11 points12 points ago

What are the odds of something like this happening in random comments?

[–]swiftb3 10 points11 points ago

reasonably decent, look at the robot's history.

Edit - Oh.

[–]professional_here 4 points5 points ago

Woosh

[–]cyclicamp -1 points0 points ago

Most excellent edit. Forgive me if I do not follow suit here.

[–]professional_here 3 points4 points ago

I see what you did there.

[–]lovelydayfora -1 points0 points ago

I think I've only ever seen haiku_robot reply to base-level comments

[–]greenbeardoftheents 0 points1 point ago

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[–]rcinsf 0 points1 point ago

Yep, going deaf.

[–]turnleftdale 15 points16 points ago

[–]therealpmom 2 points3 points ago

Whole new way to speak your mind

[–]bhpatton -1 points0 points ago

Everyone keeps saying he looks like Tom Hanks, but all I see when I look at this picture is this guy http://i.imgur.com/rXPfaXW.jpg?1

[–]Iboughtat2i -1 points0 points ago

I prefer to believe that he wanted to let his parents hear his thoughts.

[–]fpoesc -1 points0 points ago

That's just his symbolic way for saying "I'm not on the recipient side, I am on the creative side."

[–]pufferfish1979 -1 points0 points ago

Talk about determined.... I'm pretty sure he pierced his earlobe

[–]DMcbaggins -1 points0 points ago

Anyone pick up the earphones and see if anything is playing?!

[–]throwclay -1 points0 points ago

Its baby mouse...He is just trying to plug into the Matrix!

[–]adamtheent -1 points0 points ago

ivy league no but community or a state college I dont see why not

[–]Scorpius289 -1 points0 points ago

Had those headphones once.

Once.

[–]cmgg -1 points0 points ago

He looks like Tom Hanks

[–]engineer2021 -1 points0 points ago

Thought he was wearing a stethoscope and the picture said that the kid was genially going places. Apparently I ended up in the same place as this kid...

[–]brussels4breakfast -1 points0 points ago

Awe. Lol.

[–]joker_or_thief 0 points1 point ago

Looks like the dude who wrote the caption isn't going college places either. It can't just be me who's noticed it says 'not college but places'.

[–]jakeismyname505 0 points1 point ago

He's going to fuck up so bad watching porn at night.

[–]StEsocVsw9AkhH1V6Jr8 0 points1 point ago

He looks like a small Gale Boetticher. Does he show any interest in chemistry?

[–]sgrantcarr 1 point2 points ago

Anyone else see a toddler version of Tom Hanks?

[–]Eternal_Mr_Bones 0 points1 point ago

More human than human is our motto

[–]volk1 0 points1 point ago

When I grow up, I too want to be a CD Player.

[–]kingcal 0 points1 point ago

As a kindergarten teacher, this instantly makes me think of a specific student.

[–]sleyk 1 point2 points ago

I dare you to put those headphones on and listen to that kid's brain. I bet you cannot keep it on long enough to withstand his sheer awesomeness

[–]m0cl0v 0 points1 point ago

yea because the kid knows how to use them

[–]myself-btc 0 points1 point ago

i hope he did not damage its ear

[–]l4d4d4d 0 points1 point ago

Future Apple CEO.

[–]rockafella7 0 points1 point ago

Thank you for the arrows and the second subtitle in case we really didn't understand.

[–]123musicslave 0 points1 point ago

He likes to butt things with his head too.

You must be so proud

[–]Rhedio 0 points1 point ago

Seems like a solid candidate for congress.

[–]SuperMutant 0 points1 point ago

It's a fucking toddler. If he's still crapping in diapers, he probably doesn't know how to wear headphones correctly...

[–]chilidog17 0 points1 point ago

OP... This was posted last week!

[–]MONDARIZ 0 points1 point ago

What does the 'right end' matter when you can hear?

[–]rusty_t -2 points-1 points ago

Anyone seeking more info might also check here:

title comnts points age /r/
this baby looks like Tom Hanks... 2coms 1pt 10mos funny
[PIC] Plugged In Like A Boss 100coms 575pts 1yr funny
That's how it actually works. 0coms 3pts 1mo funny

source: karmadecay

[–]attwaa 1 point2 points ago

Headphones kid all grown up http://imgur.com/NGT9W16

[–]rabidtoast22 -1 points0 points ago

Target Employee

[–]Kataclysm 1 point2 points ago

It's so we can listen to his thoughts. He's actually a genius.

[–]rigakrypto 1 point2 points ago

the room listens to the kid as everything else around him

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[–]LittleBigKid2000 -1 points0 points ago

That is a funnyjunk gif.

[–]Kurai_Joukyaku 0 points1 point ago

And?

[–]StewieBanana -2 points-1 points ago

Yeah, the kid's going to the doctor to fix his punctured eardrum.

[–]djsmith89 -2 points-1 points ago

He's going into the matrix obviously

[–]theycallmebrodie -3 points-2 points ago

If I've learned anything from my God awful white trash cousins, college isn't for everyone.

[–]KnavishSprite -1 points0 points ago

He can do more than crawl. He can now Walk, man.

[–]Aravegar -1 points0 points ago

They told me I could be anything, so I became an iPod.

[–]hugsforloki -2 points-1 points ago

So cute!

[–]Fenoe -2 points-1 points ago

special places.....

[–]sj_user1 -2 points-1 points ago

The only places that kid is going are to the doctor and then to a school for the deaf.

[–]Jesus_Harold_Christ -2 points-1 points ago

I loved those headphones. My kid got a hold of my pair and picked all the foam speaker covering off.

[–]Marty_Man_X -2 points-1 points ago

Proving that his mind reading apparatus works...

[–]Wyliekat -2 points-1 points ago

As someone who has burst an eardrum no less than three times in my life, this makes me flinch SO HARD. Right in the emoticons.

[–]dragontail -2 points-1 points ago

Kid looks like Tom Hanks

[–]longhairedthrowawaya -2 points-1 points ago

OP assumes that smart people get into college.

[–]AlexKG -2 points-1 points ago

Seems legit.

[–]BearcatChemist -2 points-1 points ago

Looks like a young tom hanks.

[–]bigmeech -2 points-1 points ago

thank god for those helpful arrows

[–]Jaytr0n -2 points-1 points ago

Looks like Matthew McConaughey in tropic thunder

[–]fuckyourjeep -2 points-1 points ago

Maybe he's pretending to be a secret agent. They only have one earpiece.

[–]richardec -2 points-1 points ago

Johnny Mnemonic. The early years.

[–]4throwaway20 -2 points-1 points ago

does it so someone can hear his thoughts

[–]cruztec -2 points-1 points ago

Young Tiesto; A star is born

[–]colesn -2 points-1 points ago

LOL! I needed this.

[–]MusicMagi -2 points-1 points ago

Places like the emergency room

[–]freedomcaller -2 points-1 points ago

is it just me or does kid looks just like Bruce Willis?

[–]dopejk -2 points-1 points ago

oh god... i pulled the exact same thing yesterday waiting for a bus...

i untangled earbuds and casually plugged the other end to my left ear, wondering why there was no sound coming from it

i realized the mistake 10 seconds after, and there were about 20 people at the bus stop >.>

[–]RangerBoomhauer -2 points-1 points ago

"The leading brand in Mp3 players: The New and Improved Walkman!"

[–]spady62287 -2 points-1 points ago

Meh...at least he got the ear right I know a kid who puts them in his butt...

[–]operatar -2 points-1 points ago

iKid, but all it plays is Barney songs and Justin Beiber....

[–]Osiriskiller -2 points-1 points ago

So if he had his headphones on right he would be going to college?

[–]SkyLukewalker -2 points-1 points ago

This kid looks like Alex Jones, but smarter.

[–]BlackMarba -2 points-1 points ago

What you really need to do is put those headphones on and you will hear exactly what the kid is thinking.

[–]bajablastme -2 points-1 points ago

"Look ma, im an ipod."

[–]qwertyasdf1337 -2 points-1 points ago

I'd say he's gonna be a Target manager someday.

[–]ihasakiwi -2 points-1 points ago

Tom Hanks.

[–]carltoncarlton -1 points0 points ago

Is that penetrating his ear lobe?

[–]SolenoidC -3 points-2 points ago

this kid looks like Tom Hanks

[–]best_from_midwest -3 points-2 points ago

Yeah he's leaving the play room to go into the kitchen, it looks like

[–]jbond66 -3 points-2 points ago

Middle management material right there. He's already got the dress code down.

[–]jkpinaz -1 points0 points ago

Nice job kid! You just dodged over one hundred thousand dollars of debt!

[–]dwpc29d -3 points-2 points ago

[–]littlelazerbean -3 points-2 points ago

To me he looks like a little Tom Hanks to me.

[–]rusty2310 -3 points-2 points ago

iToddler

[–]SergeantSlapNuts -1 points0 points ago

Let's reinforce to Junior by taking his picture that it's OK to stick things into his ear.

[–]Scott-from-Canada -2 points-1 points ago

I just LOL'd awkwardly on the toilet at work.

[–]SeaManaenamah -3 points-2 points ago

I wish I had the time to downvote all of these comments.

[–]KingThallion -1 points0 points ago

You didn't even pick up the headphones and listen to his brian.

[–]chaseopotamus -4 points-3 points ago

Thank you for this

[–]Statatory_ape2312 -4 points-3 points ago

Seth rogan?

[–]Hamburger212 -4 points-3 points ago

he is Neo. He is The One

[–]AWildBull -1 points0 points ago

He just wants you to listen to him!