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[–]Shacomybrand 348 points349 points ago

Its ok, my parents already have a bunch at home. I can just use my incredibly dangerous butter knife to evenly spread crime in the neighborhood.

[–]bongilante 193 points194 points ago

Personally I don't think any citizen has a need for an automatic turkey carver. Also, the military has knives with black handles, we shouldn't be allowed to have those either, they're scary.

[–]Leroy_Parker 140 points141 points ago

Or a cleaver. I don't see any practical civilian use. If you want to cut up your meat, have a professional do it. Having such dangerous articles in the hands of ordinary people is just asking for trouble.

[–]RowdyPants 45 points46 points ago

you could kill people with it!

(as if that makes it special)

[–]mediaG33K 43 points44 points ago

While we're at it, lets cut off the hands of every person born after January 1, 1900, because those can be used to cause severe harm or even death to people.

Hands, killing people since killing was discovered.

[–]RowdyPants 20 points21 points ago

Fucking hands. They've been blaming all their shootings on guns since the dawn of time

[–]byobguy 15 points16 points ago

What's funny is I've actually seen someone make this exact argument in a serious tone.

[–]Leroy_Parker 6 points7 points ago

That shouldn't be funny, but I can't stop laughing.

[–]sardaukarqc 43 points44 points ago

Don't challenge the British...

Chefs support kitchen knife ban.

[–]FishPilot 23 points24 points ago

Is this for real? Is this what the world is coming to?

[–]LisTaylor 73 points74 points ago

Chefs thought chefs knives were not essential? More of a commentary of British food culture than anything else.

[–]Prozac1 4 points5 points ago

Not coming to anything, the opposite actually.

Its going BACK to pre-school

[–]sardaukarqc 2 points3 points ago

Well, it's a 7 year old article, but it was considered a study worth doing, and a story worth publishing. By the BBC.

[–]rivalarrival 15 points16 points ago

Remember all that crap about the CDC and medical professionals conducting research on gun violence?

A&E doctors are calling for a ban on long pointed kitchen knives to reduce deaths from stabbing.

Why the hell is the CDC supposed to be studying either crime or guns, let alone gun crime? Aren't those issues under the purview of the FBI and the ATF?

[–]sardaukarqc 11 points12 points ago

The public health angle is a critical foot in the door for gun control.

[–]workedog 4 points5 points ago

They have honest intentions of reducing deaths due to accidents, considering that modern medicine has reduced disease deaths to the point that accidents are now a significant percentage of total premature deaths. With that being said, I think many people in this country already think of gun ownership as a disease, and getting the Center for Disease Control to study gun crime isn't doing much to help that.

[–]natermer 16 points17 points ago

Beyond that:

Knives with a substantial bump or guard between the blade and the handle need to be made illegal. Knives with holes in the handle that a lanyard or other device to be affixed to the knife needs to be made illegal.

These devices are used by professional assassins to prevent their hands from slipping from the knife when the handle becomes covered with the fresh blood of innumerable children. Lanyards prevent from dropping the knife and guards prevent the attacker's hand from slipping down into the blade of the knife when they are making a stabbing motion.

[–]shalendar 1 point2 points ago

at first, I thought this was an excerpt from the article. Very good job!

[–]darthjoey91 4 points5 points ago

Automatic turkey carver

Do you mean vibroblade?

[–]welfaretrain 6 points7 points ago

Sometimes, when I'm feeling extra greedy, I spread it a little thicker in some areas than others. It makes me, well, me.

[–]Gate-38 7 points8 points ago

We're gonna need your parents to register those knives.

[–]P4R4D0C5 122 points123 points ago

It gets even worse. (skip to 3:00 for maximum rage)

[–]tbe170 28 points29 points ago

I was expecting the presenter to finish the segment questioning such a thing. But she just wants suggestions on how to make kids stop posing with knives.

Are we sure this isn't some sort of modern Monty Python bit?

[–]Swrdfshtrmbns 62 points63 points ago

I refuse to believe this is real.

[–]IHeartAmber 32 points33 points ago

Did you make this comment on a computer in a public place? If so you're under arrest for brandishing disbelief in a public place.

[–]Novo_Scotia 5 points6 points ago

This has to be their version of The Onion.

[–]Swrdfshtrmbns 5 points6 points ago

Like, I always thought the British were pretty much the same except they don't know what is football. This kind of thing reminds me that it is a totally different culture and philosophical lineage.

[–]snubdeity 47 points48 points ago

Wow... just, wow.

Not even mad, that's just depressing.

[–]KylerAdams 20 points21 points ago

Protecting the subjects, by harassing one innocent citizen at a time.

[–]Cyberogue 31 points32 points ago

I'm gonna go hide my Russian ushanka... Just in case...

It has more than 2 buttons, which is considered "high capacity"

[–]Derpybro 12 points13 points ago

This makes me physically angry, the type of angry that you feel when someone is kicking a puppy, except, wayyyyyy worse.

[–]ziper1221 48 points49 points ago

What the fuck??? It wasnt even a real weapon, just a foot long fucking wooden slat?

[–]IHeartAmber 32 points33 points ago

You heard him; it's a Russian Club. It even has Kalashnikov 100 round splinter clips!

[–]Tw9caboose 23 points24 points ago

WTF, he was arrested for having a mad bomber hat from Russia.

[–]IHeartAmber 11 points12 points ago

The other guy was arrested for having a douchey hoodie.

[–]Tw9caboose 6 points7 points ago

I'm glad I don't live in the U.K. My mad bomber is my favorite hat, super fucking warm.

[–]PerspicaciousPedant 9 points10 points ago

No, he was arrested for a stick ("russian style baton")

[–]G_Platypus 8 points9 points ago

Oh thank god, I thought for a second that he got arrested for something stupid. /s

[–]nshunter5 20 points21 points ago

Did that kid just get arrested for a hat? Honestly that is all they had on him.

[–]austinmartinyes 44 points45 points ago

You know that feeling you got when you watched Nazi propaganda in history class and knew that stuff is wrong? I just got that feeling.

[–]Dessicration 0 points1 point ago

Did you see the one called a Triumph of Will? That film was scary, and this made me feel sick like the other.

[–]austinmartinyes 0 points1 point ago

I think I've seen some of it. Is that the Nazi rally one?

[–]Dessicration 0 points1 point ago

Yeah, the one with all the kids waving and the whole populace singing and smiling at Adolf Hitler. Very scary stuff.

[–]Kosme-ARG 36 points37 points ago

How can people live in a place like that ?? My country is faaaaaar from perfect, but we at least post stuff on facebook without the fear of getting arrested.

[–]nshunter5 22 points23 points ago

I just don't get the uk. That is just beyond stupid.

[–]zdaytonaroadster 22 points23 points ago

nice to see England has full embraced the Thought Police

"well you didnt actually commit a crime, but we are going to arrest you anyway, just in case"

I dont even want to hear shit again from a Limey telling me he's a citizen and not a subject

[–]Tw9caboose 4 points5 points ago

Well apparently just having it in public makes it a crime, so technically they did break the law.

[–]Vendetta1313 22 points23 points ago

Wow. A people that has given up their liberty freely. That's absurd.

[–]pointman_joey 13 points14 points ago

In the UK an offensive weapon is not necessarily a knife, firearm, or bat. It can be literally anything, if you are deemed to own it solely for the purpose of assaulting others. If you listen to the constables when they first interview him in the house, they mention that he has been posting gang-related photos online.

He was not arrested for owning a hat, the hat was simply evidence that he was in fact the person in the photo. While I agree the arrest was based on some pretty circumstantial evidence, there is no chance a public prosecutor would have run with that case unless he had a record of gang or weapons-related crimes.

[–]cuddlyogre 4 points5 points ago

I'm appalled in a new kind of way. It's like some kind of deadpan parody video. That lady at the end didn't even have a tone of disbelief at all.

[–]sweetlove 15 points16 points ago

No fucking way. Seriously?

[–]Tico117 4 points5 points ago

This is a thing? My brain has a hurt from watching that. Thankfully they didn't see the second Riddick movie where he kills a guy with a tea cup.

[–]Deagle_Shitter 7 points8 points ago

I love how they see nothing wrong with it. Somehow they are just, "Fighing knife crime."

[–]Barrenhammer 4 points5 points ago

But he's never had a girlfriend, or a wench. The only good part of the whole thing.

[–]forzion_no_mouse 4 points5 points ago

If they outlaw hats, only outlaws will have hats.

You can take my hat from my cold, dead head.

When temperature counts, hoods are only a few degrees away.

I can't think of anymore the last one kinda sucked.

[–]soviet_admin 8 points9 points ago

I will openly admit to wanting to shoot people that think this is okay, but only when they come for my knives, because they sure as hell aren't getting my guns.

[–]SlipstreamUK 2 points3 points ago

"It's the only police unit in the country dedicated to targeting knife offences in this way".

I wonder why. They must have very little to do there if they have to browse facebook looking for kids with bats and hand axes.

[–]randomneckbeard 1 point2 points ago

Im saying it now, this is a precurser to a pre-crime unit in the UK.

And to anyone that says dont be ridiculous....well.

[–]SloshyBro 1 point2 points ago

Scary shit. Even scarier when Obama continually talks about how we need to be more like our European counterparts. If this is what my country is going to become, I will promptly denounce my citizenship.

[–]OHhokie1 179 points180 points ago

There was apparently a proposal in the UK to ban all knives with sharp points and only allow blunted or rounded edged blades.

People in /r/worldnews were actually defending it and saying shit like, "Why do you need a point on a knife? They're no good for anything other than stabbing"

Obviously, these dumbfucks have never had to butcher meat, fillet a fish, or the probably 100 other tasks I can think of that would be insanely annoying without a knife point. Pretty sure chefs over there would have been pissed if that actually passed as legislation.

[–]Dabunker 27 points28 points ago

Yeah, take it out to its logical conclusion and it gets really silly: Ban knives, then people sharpen sticks on pavement for weapons, or grab a rock and smash. Now what, ban all rocks and sticks?

[–]elebrin 45 points46 points ago

Even prisoners find ways to build shanks. You cannot un-invent weapons like they seem to want to.

[–]Tw9caboose 8 points9 points ago

New bill proposed by Feinstein: Un-invent all things that can be used as a weapon or be used to make a weapon.

[–]Gorillaz_Noodle 5 points6 points ago

AKA "Bill to remove brains from people".

[–]Neenjaboy 1 point2 points ago

I went to a museum that used to be a prison, the makeshift weapons are really genius. A 4 inch blade made out of a plastic fork and styrofoam cup.

[–]Silverbug 14 points15 points ago

And soon, they'll make a board with a nail so big, it will destroy them all!

[–]The_Washingtonian 7 points8 points ago

Ban hands, so no one can use any dangerous tools. Ban legs, so no one can kick anybody else. Ban brains; suck it out and replace it with a computer chip so no one can think of doing anything mean/nasty to another human being/animal/tree, and the police can know who is thinking nasty thoughts. /s

[–]stoplookingatme_swan 27 points28 points ago

As someone who taught culinary arts for a short time in a kitchen full of knives with the tips broke off I can tell you it only causes rage and irritation. Okay sometimes extreme frustration. Edit: cut

[–]My3rdTesticle 29 points30 points ago

Can you please explain why a teaching kitchen would be stocked with circumcised cutlery?

[–]stoplookingatme_swan 19 points20 points ago

It was caused by jackass students who would somehow always manage to break the tips off. I only caught one in the act and he was trying to pry two prep tables appart. When asked why he gave me the quintessential teenage boy answer. "I dont know" accompanied with the traditional shrug and mumble.

[–]salsasalt 12 points13 points ago

TIL knives can't separate tables.

[–]Silverbug 10 points11 points ago

They would have if stoplookingatme_swan didn't catch me.

[–]chackalot 3 points4 points ago

My knife can. -- C. Dundee

[–]mik3 1 point2 points ago

They're obviously only good for killing people, which is why they should all be banned.

[–]DrSandbags 11 points12 points ago

It's obvious that the mere presence of the knives caused the situation to escalate.

[–]High5King 1 point2 points ago

And that just leads to more stabbings? Or would that be poking since they don't have pointy points?

[–]Gate-38 36 points37 points ago

You can buy the meat pre carved, and you don't need a pointy tip to cut carrots. In fact, you can buy sliced vegetables in cans, and most packaging has perforated edges to make it easier to open.

We should probably ban anything with sharp edges because there is no good reason to own it. Oh and hammers. Just use screws. Hex-key only though, the flat-head and phillips head are way to dangerous. Thousands of people get stabbed in the UK each year, is your convenience really worth the lives of all those people?

I lived in a society once where this was the norm, and I've never felt as that save again in my whole life. In fact, the only bad memory I have of that time is when I tried to eat the play-doo and my mom had to pick me up and take me to the doctor.

[–]patmcrotch42069 47 points48 points ago

Fuck that, you can cut meat with a spoon if you try hard enough. I saw someone get stabbed in the eye with a butter knife, way too dangerous. We should just put ourselves in padded cells and eat through IV's. Imaginary IV's though, needles are dangerous.

[–]thenewplatypus 10 points11 points ago

Be sure not to eat meat though, can't ever eat anything that was once alive while somehow ignoring plants.

[–]SpicyCage 9 points10 points ago

Screw that. Not only do I eat plants, I eat them while they're still alive.</firstworldbadass>

[–]Jayru 7 points8 points ago

There's a reason they don't give prisoners access to non-plastic spoons, the edge can be filed down.

[–]Novo_Scotia 5 points6 points ago

Why do you need a spoon? You can just tear through the meat with your teeth. We're going to be needing those teeth from you, sir.

[–]PrintScrnSysRq 8 points9 points ago

I could probably put a hex key through your throat. Might wanna ban that too. And bricks cause they can be used as hammers. And blocks of wood. And metal piping. Basically just put every human being in a straightjacket I guess.

[–]byobguy 13 points14 points ago

I get the trolling here but it's actually a serious and pathetic issue.

[–]Thrashed 4 points5 points ago

A proposal was all it ever was, it never had a chance of being put into legislature, it was simply someone so focused on one aspect of knife use that they completely forget what the broader use is for.

[–]OHhokie1 11 points12 points ago

Still, even the more extreme, delusional politicians here in Congress are not even close to that stupid. Not to mention apparently some British people would have supported it, if those claiming to be from there in /r/worldnews is an accurate depiction of their country.

[–]thenewplatypus 11 points12 points ago

I would hope to god that /r/worldnews is not an accurate depiction of the populace of many countries, there's just an impressive level of stupid there.

[–]student_mammal 0 points1 point ago

They banned glass mugs in pubs over there too. They use plastic.

[–]OHhokie1 12 points13 points ago

Mothers Against Knives

Thought they were joking, apparently they were not: http://mothersagainstknives.tripod.com/

[–]Trollatio_Caine 13 points14 points ago

lol tripod.

Edit: One generated ad (at the bottom of the page) was for 70% off folding knives. I lol'd.

[–]Tw9caboose 3 points4 points ago

"Serves no due purpose in our society" shaking in anger

[–]acepiloto 49 points50 points ago

Next, I shall instruct you on how to defend yourself from an assailant who is using a passion fruit.

[–]OGIVE 15 points16 points ago

Those crimes of passion are the worst.

[–]jmf101 12 points13 points ago

He was attacking me with a banana!

[–]Mr122 4 points5 points ago

Use a 16 ton weight.

[–]Baeker 56 points57 points ago

Unless you're on the way to or from a game, baseball bats are illegal to carry in the UK.

[–]CalebOwens1000 48 points49 points ago

you mean a stick that is narrower at one end?

[–]DrSandbags 10 points11 points ago

Off-topic but that reminds me of an old Woody Allen bit that went something like "I carried a sword when I was on the street. In case I was attacked, it turned into a cane, so people would feel sorry for me."

[–]arbpotatoes 26 points27 points ago

Here in Australia, any sort of bat, stick, ect, if found in your car when searched, can land you in trouble for intent of assault

[–]JustShitMyBritches 15 points16 points ago

are you serious? i keep a aluminum bat in my car for protection. you're telling me i could get arrested if I was found with one in my car in Australia? what about a lug wrench? or another seemingly innocuous tool that could somehow possibly maybe sometimes be used as a weapon? a golf club?

[–]arbpotatoes 9 points10 points ago

I've been told that if you keep a bat AND catching glove in your car you can get away with it because you were 'on the way to play a game' or something. But without anything to reasonably prove that you weren't on your way to hurt someone, yes, you could be arrested. I bought a bat to keep in my car just in case about a year ago and was promptly informed by a police officer friend that if it's found in my car I'd be in trouble.

[–]Chuckieshere 9 points10 points ago

It seems like the law has basically become guilty until proven innocent there, if what you say is true. Thats really sad.

[–]-o_0- 4 points5 points ago

In America, many states extend castle law into personal vehicles... which means you can both carry a gun and justifiably murder anyone who invades your vehicle and not be liable.

[–]GalantGuy 0 points1 point ago

I've heard that can happen in the US as well. I'm sure there would have to be some unique circumstances in order for that to not be laughed out of court though.

I don't think I've ever heard of anyone being harassed for having a sledgehammer in their car though...

[–]William_Harzia 5 points6 points ago

what about a cricket bat?

[–]Baeker 8 points9 points ago

If the police believe it to be an offensive weapon, then yes.

[–]realitysfringe 80 points81 points ago

That's funny, because when a friend of mine went to the UK to do a semester abroad in college he was mugged three times; twice by guys with knives and bats, and once by a guy he claimed had a Revolver. Don't know if the gun was real, but it was real enough apparently.

So, yea. He is in no hurry to go back.

[–]hardman52 57 points58 points ago

The UK's violent crime rate is one of the highest in the world, a lot higher than the US's. In fact, the US has a lower violent crime rate than any country in the European Union, including France.

[–]Jo3M3tal 27 points28 points ago

Australia has some of the lowest crime rates in the world and has some of the most restrictive gun control. Correlation isn't causation

[–]salsasalt 26 points27 points ago

Everyone knows it's because the drop bears keep everyone in check.

[–]Robanada 9 points10 points ago

Sorry you're getting downvoted. I see people all the time cherrypicking one study or the other study, in order to support their pro- or anti-gun argument. It's funny how when people set aside their confirmation biases and look at the data as a whole, we see no data supporting a link between guns and violent crime either way.

Puerto Rico and UK on one hand, vs Australia on the other.

[–]CoffeeFirst 7 points8 points ago

There's a big difference between a student-edited law review journal (which admits on it's own website to being a conservative forum, not something typical of academic journals) and a truly peer reviewed academic journal.

Interestingly, there have been several studies published in real academic journals that have reached opposite conclusions. The previous work may have been 100% wrong, but I wonder why the authors didn't cite and address any of these previous findings? Any legitimate academic journal would have, at the very least, required them to address the previous research.

Research is complicated. Everyone is always looking for the simple answer, and so they generally pick whichever studies sided with their opinion. Reality just isn't so simple. Contradicting findings are, unfortunately, quite common. Don't just pick which one you like best.

[–]bam42685 12 points13 points ago

Don't the British make fun of the Australians for being uncivilized? They must have banned mirrors long ago.

[–]sky4 16 points17 points ago

it is worth noting that the brits have seen an increase in violent crime and murder since banning handguns in 96 while the US has seen a reduction in the same time period.

[–]arbpotatoes 4 points5 points ago

Lowest crime rates in the world? Seriously, did you even look up ANYTHING about Australian crime rates.

Edit: Just to clarify; our violent crime rate is comparible with the UK's.

[–]spencerawr 2 points3 points ago

You're also 3x more likely to be raped in Australia as compared to the USA! Wooooo freedom!

[–]DadsArmy 0 points1 point ago

It's almost as if gun control isn't really the issue. Call me crazy but maybe it's more complicated than removing weapons, maybe violent crime is caused by deep intrinsic social problems that need addressing.

[–]Rebdomine 1 point2 points ago

What?? But reddit stereotypes!

[–]beatskin 0 points1 point ago

It's never a good idea to reference the Daily Mail. They're widely known for posturing and exaggeration

[–]BLVD 32 points33 points ago

I wonder what Piers Morgan's response would be.

[–]Condhor 30 points31 points ago

"TO THIS DAY NO ONE HAS TOLD ME WHY SOMEONE NEEDS TO HAVE AN ASSAULT RIFLE" crumples up notes and throws at you

[–]CyberToyger 0 points1 point ago

TO THIS DAY NO ONE HAS TOLD ME WHY SOMEONE NEEDS TO HAVE A DEATH MACHINE

FTFY. I love how a semi-automatic rifle is a death machine but a pistol is A-Ok just because it doesn't look like a "machine-gun"

[–]polarbeer 19 points20 points ago

THIS IS HOW WE KEEP PEOPLE SAFE

IF ONLY YOU COULD SEE HOW STUPID YOU ALL ARE

[–]MrT-1000 4 points5 points ago

I'd be more excited about what Jeremy Clarkson's reaction to Piers Morgan's response would be

[–]hasbridge 41 points42 points ago

"Look out! He's got a spoon!"

[–]Chitect 49 points50 points ago

"Its dull you twit, it'll hurt more."

[–]patmcrotch42069 3 points4 points ago

I'm gonna bend it back and forth until it gets hot and then I'm gonna burn you, fool!

[–]Trollatio_Caine 4 points5 points ago

Reading these in an English accent is very humorous.

[–]Prozac1 126 points127 points ago

And they call us the laughing stock of the world

[–]idddisw 4 points5 points ago

You're the laughing stock of the world because of your embarrassing two party political system and the high percentage of religious nut jobs. Jaywalking, what?

[–]Hypnagogiac88 28 points29 points ago

You need a class III license for those.

[–]Cyberogue 14 points15 points ago

And oh god the waiting period

[–]ap0 35 points36 points ago

When I was in the UK about 7 years ago my buddies and I got assaulted (I don't wanna say mugged because they didn't even attempt to steal anything). We were waiting for a cab at a train station and a gang of ~15 kids (aged about 15-16) swarmed us and took some cheap shots. Not too bad -- I only ended up with cauliflower ear and some bruises, and my buddy had a fat lip and some torn clothes -- but it was a little humiliating. I tried picking up a shopping cart (or trolley as they say) to swing it defensively but they just dodged it and ran away. Knives and bats weren't even necessary. The culture there is so completely fucked. Kids run free and have no fear of people defending themselves. A self-defense cultural renaissance there could really help.

[–]LionDominion 4 points5 points ago

These feral kids are all government actors. In the UK, the crisis actors start from birth. Their principle role is to create a stressful situation whereby the only course of action is more Government powers.

[–]soviet_admin 5 points6 points ago

As much as I want to call you some kind of conspiracy theorist.... if it was true, it wouldn't surprise me.

[–]howtospeak 3 points4 points ago

Source? Sounds like something out of /r/Conspiracy.

[–]Trollatio_Caine 14 points15 points ago

[–]Matt_MG 8 points9 points ago

I have the picture of a WMD production facility... All the men in this picture can make POINTY KNIVES OF DOOM!

http://www.practicalmachinist.com/vb/attachments/f19/17047d1257878960-proper-shop-attire-15198b.jpg

[–]Trollatio_Caine 7 points8 points ago

Jesus Christ the Brady Campaign says no hand-loading!!!

[–]soviet_admin 7 points8 points ago

A common response has been to point out that inflicting a knife injury is already illegal, and that government effort would be better expended on enforcing existing laws.

Sounds pretty fucking familiar... So it is a slippery slope that has no end.

[–]MatusLabs 6 points7 points ago

Damn, pretty soon they're going to need TSA just so they can come and go in their own kitchens.

"I'm sorry sir, I am going to need to inspect your toque blanche. Also, please remove your apron."

[–]Trollatio_Caine 7 points8 points ago

"Sir, that bottle of Rothschild is against glass regulation and we will need to confiscate it."

[–]OGIVE 3 points4 points ago

You made me google. Now I know what the white hat is called. If only I could pronounce it.

[–]leftover_jack 6 points7 points ago

Welcome to Ireland, where plastic is dangerous.

[–]donttossme 28 points29 points ago

Spotted in the UK: The pussification of Brits everywhere.

[–]bbartokk 18 points19 points ago

[–]FalseAlarmEveryone 23 points24 points ago

[–]isthataturtle 7 points8 points ago

Sir i'm going to have to ask for an I.D. to prove you're over 18.

[–]Swrdfshtrmbns 19 points20 points ago

Someone should put this in /r/wtf.

[–]Elite_Crew 24 points25 points ago

What the hell is that? I just bought my 14 year old son a Leather Man Wave with our last name hand engraved on it for Christmas. He is a responsible young adult and deserved a good multi-tool. We are Citizens, not subjects here in the United States and we believe in our inalienable rights to self defense.

[–]Aerithia1 12 points13 points ago

I got my first pocket knife when I was 12. I carry one everywhere I go. In my state it is illegal to carry a knife without a 'valid reason' which is determined by the police.

[–]Elite_Crew 9 points10 points ago

What state is that?

[–]enlightenedmonty 6 points7 points ago

I have a fricken pocket knife on my key chain... That thing comes in handy more than 20 times a day.

[–]CallMeAnEngineer 4 points5 points ago

I'll just use my black tactical assault weapon soup spoon with extended capacity clip magazines, pistol grip, collapsible stock and barrel shroud loaded with armor Piercing , heat seeking baby killing rounds.

[–]sd4473 40 points41 points ago

Offensive Weapons = kitchen utensils? Lol, fucking idiots. I imagine gardening tools such as these are on the naughty list. Good thing they don't play baseball or hockey or else no one under 18 would be able to buy the bat and stick. Is their alcohol served in plastic bags or cartons* like these? We don't want anyone clubbing a person's head with that Offensive Weapon, and gods forbid they break the bottle and gasp cut someone.

I love how Aussies and Brits come on here with this holier-than-thou attitude when in reality Australia's gun ban was a failure and the Brits are restricting the sales of kitchenware because the violence is so out of hand. Lol, fucking losers.

[–]arbpotatoes 18 points19 points ago

You do realise that we have anti and pro gun advocates here in Australia just like you do in the US right? Pull your head out mate.

[–]sd4473 9 points10 points ago

I know, I was generalizing. Sorry. Mate.

[–]Justedd_233 7 points8 points ago

Check. Mate.

[–]Crankypanty 29 points30 points ago

Lol, fucking losers? No Brit or Aussie I know has come over here with an attitude to my firearm ownership - if anything, they are a little jealous and wish their countries had not gone down that slippery slope.

[–]mak_15 18 points19 points ago

I accidentally instigated an argument with a Brit in r/ELI5 when somebody asked why americans like guns so much. it was a pain in the ass cause he kept quoting their "gun related deaths" and I kept trying to quote their total crime data.

[–]Justedd_233 3 points4 points ago

Please tell me more of this story!

[–]Gorillaz_Noodle 1 point2 points ago

You can't reason with dumb.

People like this just keep saying "BUT OH MY GOD!!!! ONLY 38 GUN DEATHS IN ENGLAND!"

...Well, yes. But do you realize that they have more violent crime than America that includes mugging, rape, robbery, assault, etc.?

- "BUT FEWER GUN DEATHS!!!!!!!!11!!!"

[–]Aerithia1 17 points18 points ago

As an Australian I can vouch for our jealousy. It's incredibly hard to get a firearms license here, and you can't even just go to a range and shoot. you need a license to do that.

[–]Gate-38 8 points9 points ago

It's not really incredible hard - you just need to do a simple safety course and join a gun club, or get permission from a land owner to hunt (this is so you can show a 'legitimate reason' to own guns). I think there are some differences between states but essentially that's it.

It is harder but not impossible to own handguns. What gets me is that my folding pocket knife is classified as a restricted weapon, same category as a .50 cal machine gun. I guess there is still too much british influence here...

[–]Sandwichy 17 points18 points ago

really? stick around here on /r/guns for a while. Yesterday there was a guy saying self defense was not a valid reason for gun ownership in the UK.

[–]xcRacerxx 17 points18 points ago

The police will protect you. /s

[–]AFKeeker 9 points10 points ago

[–]Funkpuppet 9 points10 points ago

Legally, it's not a valid reason. Morally? Whole other argument. But if you apply for a firearm license and say that's why you want it, you'll be refused.

[–]sd4473 5 points6 points ago

In real life I've run into more than a few Aussies that went ballistic when I told them I had a gun. I think I'm just spending too much time on /r/politics though...

[–]William_Harzia 13 points14 points ago

I met an Aussie who was mystified as to why I carried a small folder as a matter of course. His attitude was that carrying a knife was inherently dangerous and irresponsible. I was nonplussed.

[–]Crankypanty 5 points6 points ago

I lived in NZ and know a lot of Aussies. I'm not sure what was wrong with that fella, but (and I hate to generalize) they are more often tough 'get-it-done' types who appreciate a good fixed blade or SOG/L-man and see it as a tool like any other.

[–]namelesswonder 1 point2 points ago

How did Australia's policy fail?

[–]Crankypanty 16 points17 points ago

The year following the ban, armed robbery increased 69% and there was a wave of 'home invasions' (armed entry to your home while you are there) because the Criminals hadn't played along and handed their guns in.

*I'm not sure if you would consider this documentory a 'source', but the statistics are listed at 1:38 and on. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xh4oHK8Dgck

[–]GiantManaconda 6 points7 points ago

Spotted on Reddit: Classic Logical Fallacies

[–]Silverbug 3 points4 points ago

The original assault knife

1314, never forget!

[–]gibsonblues 2 points3 points ago

LOL. I love The Onion. Um, what?

[–]SevenDeadlyNinjas 3 points4 points ago

Kids under 18 everywhere will be buttering their toast and it will be a FUCKING DISASTER.

[–]Irie267 12 points13 points ago

"It cant happen here"

[–]nshunter5 14 points15 points ago

Keep telling yourself that and it will. Only by resistance will this never happen.

Here is a Poem i guess you would call it By Pastor Niemoller who live in Nazi Germany. It hits home that we all have to stand up for each other otherwise the government does whatever it likes

"First they came for the Jews and I did not speak out because I was not a Jew.

Then they came for the Communists and I did not speak out because I was not a Communist.

Then they came for the trade unionists and I did not speak out because I was not a trade unionist.

Then they came for me and there was no one left to speak out for me."

[–]airchinapilot 7 points8 points ago

Death by a thousand cuts

[–]elpolloloco11 9 points10 points ago

Literally, you would need to cut someone a thousand times with that knife for them to die... and it would probably be from boredom and not the knife.

[–]treedick2011 9 points10 points ago

Does this mean news papers have to be printed on soft paper?

[–]ThisMyRifleThismyGun 11 points12 points ago

Fuck England

[–]SecondaryLawnWreckin 7 points8 points ago

Great post, seriously. Thank you.

[–]AnorexicBuddha 14 points15 points ago

Guys, this is /r/guns, not /r/circlejerk. Get your shit together.

[–]jacls0608 6 points7 points ago

I didn't realize they were different? Because the users in r/guns sure like making themselves look stupid.

[–]flyleaf2424 4 points5 points ago

The bravery is strong in this one.

[–]iklwa 2 points3 points ago

The UK. An over bureaucratised George Orwell type society,where the criminals have more rights than the average citizen.The asylum seekers dictate to councils. And the "jobs worth" has more power than prime minister. And it always rains. Winston Churchill must be turning in his grave.

[–]ChaosAgents1 0 points1 point ago

It's also a logical fallacy. "The slippery slope"

[–]njrhall 4 points5 points ago

Why does anyone need a folding assault knife? You only need a fixed blade knife to eat a steak!

[–]patmcrotch42069 4 points5 points ago

Nobody needs a knife. Just pick it up with your hands and take bites from it.

[–]Derpybro 10 points11 points ago

Who needs teeth? Most people in the 21st century have blenders, no responsible omnivore needs assault dentata.

[–]Gate-38 3 points4 points ago

sorry that fixed steak knife is too long and therefor classified as a weapon. Nobody needs to eat steak, just buy mince instead.