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[–]Iron-Charioteer 621 points622 points ago

What's considered etiquette when greeting and touching a topless celebrity?

[–]Kensin 793 points794 points ago

  1. ask before licking anything

[–]spankymuffin 120 points121 points ago

But you can always ask with your eyes...

[–]sillywaffles 58 points59 points ago

I can see how this would go.

But sir, I gave them my sex eyes! They should've known what they were in for!

[–]beerob81 16 points17 points ago

#2. offer sexual favors

[–]mikemcg 858 points859 points ago

In all seriousness something like:

"Hey, are you Neil Patrick Harris?"
"Why yes I am, youngster."
"May I take a picture with you?"
"Sure thing, buckaroo!"
"So, normally I'd have no issues putting my arm around a stranger, but right now we're both only kind of wearing swim shorts. I don't want to gross you out or anything."
"Go for it, sport-o, put your arm around me!"

In my imagination, Neil Patrick Harris uses old-timey words for talking to younger people.

[–]atla 243 points244 points ago

He's probably milking the fact that someone sees him as an actual functional adult. Everyone I know over the age of, like, 35 refers to him as Doogie.

[–]yojay 123 points124 points ago

At Disney in the 90's, NPH was the star of the day and had a parade at the Disney/MGM Studios. I walked crowd control along the rear wheel of the car about 5 feet away from him. All the guests were screaming "Doogie! Doogie!" so he'd look their way for a picture. He turned to me since I was within ear shot and sighed a little and said "My name is Neil..." I just tilted my head and gave a half smile, like, "I hear ya bro." I then moved back out of the way so a guest could get a picture and he said "Hey, you don't have to do that."

TLDR: About 20 years ago, GG NPH was a down to earth celebrity who was just looking for some name recognition. Seems he got and kept the GG celebrity attitude.

TLDR TLDR: NPH seems like a humble guy.

[–]ky-jellydonuts 15 points16 points ago

This is why if there's anyone who I'd sympathize with for punching out a fan, it's George Wendt.

[–]AcronymWhisperer 3 points4 points ago

[Cut back to the Tonight Show, George Wendt, mid-interview.]

George Wendt: It's funny, 'cause even after all these years, we still get people giving us advice, how to improve the show. Actually, a few moments ago I ran into a nut back there, he said, you know, that maybe we should think about, you know, not doing the show in a bar.

[Another quick shot of the audience, again everyone is laughing besides George.]

[–]mikemcg 11 points12 points ago

Maybe. But I'm just going to use this opportunity to acknowledge that Iron-Charioteer gave me a huge goddamn set up for no reward.

This is for posterity.

[–]FatherEarth 13 points14 points ago

OH GOD YOU DON'T USE NIGHT MODE

[–]LadyPancake 22 points23 points ago

Op seems to have reached over towards NPH's opposing arm and is holding him there. OP's arm is also underneath NPH's armpit due to the fact that it'd be awkward for a shorter person to go over rather than under.

And NPH, being NPH, can touch OP whereever he damn well pleases (so long as he goes over and not under due to the height difference).

[–]viggetuff 818 points819 points ago

I don't know why but you seem kind of excited

[–]friday6700 417 points418 points ago

It looks like NPH is holding him up because OP is shaking to hard to stand upright.

[–]too_many_penises 776 points777 points ago

OP is the chihuahua of people.

[–]NOT_ACTUALLYRELEVANT 95 points96 points ago

And NPH is the goddamn lion king.

[–]color_thine_fate 127 points128 points ago

OP is obviously NPH, and the post is obviously about him finding a puppet.

As I typed this, I started singing, It ain't easyyyyyy being whiiiiite!

[–]sleeping_gecko 34 points35 points ago

It ain't easyyyyy being brooooown!

[–]Dr_Funkenstein_ 19 points20 points ago

All this pressuuurrrrrre to be briiiiiiiight!

[–]buckyboy2009 28 points29 points ago

I got childrennnnn all over tooooooown!

[–]skimmboarder 127 points128 points ago

did the erection give it away?

[–]CockSlapsBitches 120 points121 points ago

NPH slipped a finger in his butt.

[–]BaronVonKlotz 36 points37 points ago

"Wanna see a magic trick?"

[–]nathanb065 38 points39 points ago

Duh! FRED is always excited!

[–]mystclc 86 points87 points ago

He's probably a gay.

[–]spankymuffin 107 points108 points ago

Not just gay, but A gay!

[–]Always_Negotiable_QK 18 points19 points ago

It's all the crazy weather we've been having. Global warming man.

[–]greendalek 15 points16 points ago

Not just A gay. He is more than that; NPH is The Gay. The definite article, you might say.

[–]Barack-Frozone-Obama 20 points21 points ago

I can confirm, NPH is certainly gay.

[–]CIBRECA 26 points27 points ago

So is OP.

[–]VivaLaPigeon 1017 points1018 points ago

Swim suit up!

[–]blackjackjester 126 points127 points ago

I can only imagine how horrendously sick of hearing " ___ suit up!" he must be

[–]ohboycheese 2 points3 points ago

I actually wouldn't put it past him. Same for the Doogie Houser comments...

Actually, If I ever do meet him, I would ask what his favorite magic trick is

[–]PoorlyBuilt 381 points382 points ago

Meeting NPH would be legendary.

[–]mahacctissoawsum 893 points894 points ago

Could have saved the "dary" for the next redditor and shared the karma. You greedy bastard.

[–]saitselkis 95 points96 points ago

greedy petty bastard.

[–]JENBubbie 123 points124 points ago

that's greedy.....wait for it.......

[–]Defrostmode 298 points299 points ago

DARY!

Doh!

[–]Blown_Hard 43 points44 points ago

Bastards

[–]Talon876 24 points25 points ago

Classic Jenkins

[–]VivaLaPigeon 42 points43 points ago

No you are wrong, it would be LEGEN..... wait for it..... DARY!!!

[–]somerandomguy1232 88 points89 points ago

It would be LEGEN..... hope you aren't lactose intolerant... DARY!!!

[–]hereiamstuck 49 points50 points ago

this thread had so much circle jerk potential...

[–]michaeljb 78 points79 points ago

DAE HIMYM???

[–]beabea51423 6 points7 points ago

And I hope you're not lactose intolerant because the second half of the word is DARY. Legendary.

FTFY

[–]Confuciusconscience 556 points557 points ago

He looks like hes going to take your virginity

[–]doogie88 155 points156 points ago

Pic was after he did.

[–]tevert 16 points17 points ago

It kind of looks like OP is holding a pair of briefs or something in his other hand. Souvenir?

[–]Satan_Loves_U 237 points238 points ago

... I'd like to see that picture!

[–]jusksmit 119 points120 points ago

ಠvಠ

[–]owenstumor 65 points66 points ago

All I'm saying is there is absolutely no hover-hand going on in this photo...

[–]da_man_made_of_bread 13 points14 points ago

That hand has definately docked.

[–]mouseknuckle 36 points37 points ago

What is that? The owl of disapproval?

[–]spankymuffin 51 points52 points ago

AS A HETEROSEXUAL MAN---

ok, yeah, I guess I'd kinda wanna see that too...

[–]enjoytheshow 10 points11 points ago

As long as we're all being honest here, I would not want to see that picture.

But I would still look at it.

[–]TooBrokeToGiveAShit 538 points539 points ago

How come I never run in to really awesome famous people?

...oh yeah, I never leave the house. Eh... Worth it.

[–]hoikarnage 103 points104 points ago

But think of all the AMA's you'd miss.

[–]zippyajohn 50 points51 points ago

because you're too broke to give a shit?

[–]FlyingPasta 42 points43 points ago

I too read his username.

[–]AmazingSax 13 points14 points ago

It's dangerous out there man, it's best you stay here with us.

[–]dgb75 9 points10 points ago

It can also happen if you live in a place that nobody wants to go to.

[–]gorilla_head 248 points249 points ago

How tall are you?

[–]trpcicj[S] 563 points564 points ago

5'6". Also, if you look real close, he has a nipple piercing.

[–]ChorroVon 965 points966 points ago

Yes, my girlfriend WOULD have to walk in right as I'm zooming in on NPH's nipples

[–]wowDarklord 662 points663 points ago

Dude, it is NPH. She understands.

[–]dsr541 92 points93 points ago

If she doesn't understand then dump her.

[–]Diamond_Hoe 36 points37 points ago

No no no. The next time they have sex, each imagines the other is NPH.

[–]RandomAsian 131 points132 points ago

MY GIRLFRIEND

[–]Jaytsun 342 points343 points ago

MOM I TOLD YOU TO KNOCK BEFORE COMING IN

[–]RockasaurusRex 155 points156 points ago

GOD, NO, FOR THE 100TH TIME MOM, I'M NOT GAY, THIS IS NEIL PATRICK HARRIS!!

[–]NOTGAYNOTGAYNOTGAY 47 points48 points ago

CAN'T A MAN ADMIRE ANOTHER GENTLEMAN'S BEAUTIFUL, FAIR-SKINNED TORSO IN PEACE?

Seriously, though. In a completely straight way, NPH is a gorgeous hunk of a man. In a heterosexual way, obviously. I'M NOT LIKE THAT.

[–]da_man_made_of_bread 4 points5 points ago

YEA, I KNOW HE'S GAY, BUT...JUST LEAVE ME ALONE.

[–]njstein 27 points28 points ago

Totally reminded me of this Whitest Kids U' Know sketch.

[–]ImLyingWhenISay 47 points48 points ago

so bitter and alone that people referencing relationships on a website makes me angry

[–]qxg 8 points9 points ago

what is he supposed to say when he tells his story ... ?

[–]rampantdissonance 71 points72 points ago

Also, if you look real close,

Don't mind if I do.

[–]JDubStep 37 points38 points ago

I'm straight and I zoomed in...

[–]Chemical_Cutthroat 12 points13 points ago

for an inordinate amount of time...

[–]da_man_made_of_bread 7 points8 points ago

I put my tongue on it. That's not gay, right?

[–]JENBubbie 29 points30 points ago

Did you stare all night at that nipple piercing.

Did you!

[–]MrMcFluffems 12 points13 points ago

Why does he have ONE nipple piercing..

[–]rfleason 101 points102 points ago

same reason everybody who has one nipple piercing only has one, OMFG THAT HURT, FUCK THE OTHER ONE!!"

[–]Bike-o-king 22 points23 points ago

Fuck the other one?

[–]Kupy 43 points44 points ago

Because he's gay he had the right one pierced.

[–]ithunk 10 points11 points ago

is there some gay code im not privy to yet?

[–]TimeToWander 14 points15 points ago

People used to do that for their ears. I don't know if people care anymore what ear is pierced or not. But I thinking Kupy is just mocking that.

[–]erniesplumbing 2 points3 points ago

Was it the left one that was gay or the right one? Middle school was so long ago...

[–]ademnus 83 points84 points ago

I like how, using that expression, you somehow managed to photobomb your own photo.

[–]Nathan561 120 points121 points ago

Oh my i thought you were Fred for a second OP. I was going to say why is an adult happy to meet fred

[–]firefarmer 13 points14 points ago

I thought this too.

[–]Caziban 339 points340 points ago

Jesus Christ. What are you doing with your face?

[–]LitrillyChrisTraeger 172 points173 points ago

And his bowl cut

[–]Clayh5 64 points65 points ago

And my axe!

[–]silverpixiefly 19 points20 points ago

The exact sane thing I would in that situation.

[–]Teenager_Simon 14 points15 points ago

Expressing his feels.

[–]JesseBeech 63 points64 points ago

Looks like a scene from an American Pie movie

[–]klsi832 34 points35 points ago

Showing results for Harold and Kumar

Search instead for American Pie

[–]JesseBeech 5 points6 points ago

Nailed it!

[–]bigpapajon 181 points182 points ago

Overly-attached fan

[–]radison 56 points57 points ago

I put superglue on my hand for this picture. Now we're attached FOREVER.

[–]Pampered_Cynic 122 points123 points ago

How did his hand feel on your ass?

[–]OneWhoHenpecksGiants 20 points21 points ago

It's on his back. You can see it there. Nevermind.

[–]KidWREC 114 points115 points ago

Does NPH ever not look sexy and dapper in anything!? I'm a straight male.

[–]EpicFapTime 73 points74 points ago

Everybody is openly gay for NPH, just accept it into your heart.

[–]kaimason1 16 points17 points ago

Even females go gay for him. They become male, and then go gay, just for Neil.

[–]drankenstein 28 points29 points ago

Hetero male with a decade of marriage to a female to prove it. I'd fuck NPH in a heartbeat. YOLO

[–]muskoka83 3 points4 points ago

Best comment ever.

[–]DerekC1990 10 points11 points ago

Sure yaaaa are, keep telling yourself that bud.

[–]koshka__ 4 points5 points ago

Anyone who isn't attracted to NPH is probably asexual. ^ ain't gay for saying that!

[–]BrodyApproves 1527 points1528 points ago

I'm sorry Neil, I have no idea who that is.

[–]pngn22 141 points142 points ago

my legitimate first thought: neil patrick harris uses reddit and ran into the guy that looks like OAG?

[–]sjpsjpsjp 12 points13 points ago

I'm glad I wasn't the only one who thought this.

[–]courage_wolf 3 points4 points ago

wasn't there a post by a guy who got to the front page because he looked exactly like a boy version of OAG? I honestly thought that was him for a split second before I realized NPH.

[–]bang_Noir 28 points29 points ago

It's Fred. That annoying kid from nickelodeon. Or Disney.

[–]Cithog 883 points884 points ago

Ah... The old reddit switch-a-roo

[–]SvenHudson 359 points360 points ago

Keep fighting the good fight. Wear your downvotes with pride.

EDIT: That was a hell of a turnaround.

[–]HarveyTardy 109 points110 points ago

That was a hell of a switch-a-roo. FTFY

[–]Ladikn 28 points29 points ago

[–]Criket527 16 points17 points ago

'tis a silly place

[–]DownloadingKFC 38 points39 points ago

really annoying when people don't link to the latest switcharchoo link!

[–]jibbodahibbo 3 points4 points ago

Thanks, I like looking through all the funny switcharoo's

[–]xbiggiesmallsx 60 points61 points ago

Ah, the ol' reddit kangaroo.

[–]ISwearThisIsOriginal 37 points38 points ago

Ah, the ole reddit that's not my shampoo.

[–]Loggie 68 points69 points ago

I hate this joke.

[–]Dean97 18 points19 points ago

It's almost like famous people are human beings that go out in public!

[–]maseison 43 points44 points ago

how was the sex?

[–]denim-chicken 22 points23 points ago

A ton of gay dudes just got jealous...

[–]N69sZelda 18 points19 points ago

A ton of straight dudes just got jealous...

[–]denim-chicken 7 points8 points ago

I mean, the man is clearly free-balling in an extra short pair of trunks, making bare skin on skin contact... I'd say gay dudes (and some gals) are greener with envy

[–]urtheone 5 points6 points ago

At first glance, I thought Jason Biggs was the person you ran into.

[–]puckdeath 25 points26 points ago

Is it impossible for people to smile normally while taking a picture with a celebrity? Then you could play it off that you actually hung out.

[–]lazylandtied 3 points4 points ago

you mean like this? Not sure if you'll recognize him but he's part of one of my favorite bands and sometimes hailed as the nicest guy in metal. This is taken backstage after their show in Paris :)

[–]downvotedildo 84 points85 points ago

I hope OP asked NPH for some advice regarding a better hairstyle, yikes...

[–]sgallen43 49 points50 points ago

I thought the same thing. Then I realized he's at the pool. My hair doesn't always look great when it's not styled either.

[–]redditnotfacebook 5 points6 points ago

WTF happened to the top half of your head?!

[–]HumanFilet 32 points33 points ago

you need to post this in /r/gaybros

[–]vpblack777 10 points11 points ago

NPH must run into people with that expression constantly.

He may even start to think that is how normal people look in public.

[–]BranFlakes188 5 points6 points ago

So Neil Patrick Harris hangs to left. Me too. I can sleep easy now.

[–]Diego_Poop 9 points10 points ago

He doesn't seem too thrilled to have to stop and take half-naked pictures with a stranger.

[–]RizzoFromDigg 11 points12 points ago

Are you a rentboy?

[–]jelde 53 points54 points ago

not sure who's gayer.

[–]JohnCrysher 108 points109 points ago

The OP, definitely the OP.

[–]jelde 5 points6 points ago

i'm feeling that too. in fact he makes NPH look like sean connery levels of hetero, even with the nipple pierced.

[–]BaronVonKlotz 4 points5 points ago

You think OP is a fag?

[–]skattman 2 points3 points ago

Call me crazy, but I see a condom in your pocket...

[–]mightyjake 3 points4 points ago

Neil Patrick Stewart deGrasse Mike Tyson Harris

[–]d3v1c3 23 points24 points ago

OP does not lift.

[–]osito_ 5 points6 points ago

Those are some short shorts

[–]h4wk590 5 points6 points ago

+1 No hover hand

[–]danbronson 6 points7 points ago

Did you kill him and wear his skin? It looks like you are going to kill him and wear his skin.

[–]quantizeddreams 10 points11 points ago

I thought the rule was what happens in vegas stays in vegas. You broke the damn rule.

[–]joelesler 1 point2 points ago

Nph? Or Jason Biggs?

[–]ryanm154 2 points3 points ago

NPH is probably offended by the length of OP's swim trunks

[–]jesushatedbacon 1 point2 points ago

Oh shit! It's Marvin Marvin!!

[–]Soothe 0 points1 point ago

This Married... With Children quote strikes me as relevant.

Steve: Guess what I've got under my arm, Al.

Al: Nair burn?

[–]americanfondler 1 point2 points ago

he looks absolutely thrilllllled. "Finally I can go on vacation and just get away from everyone!" "HEY NEIL!!!11!!"

[–]Deep_cover 2 points3 points ago

Wow nice, Michael Cera! Btw has anybody told you, you look a bit like Niel Patrick Harris?

[–]ueleleee 7 points8 points ago

you look exactly like overly attached girlfriend. Just saying.

[–]ColonelDimak 11 points12 points ago

I want to be able to pull of swim trunks that short

[–]oli-wan_kenobi 16 points17 points ago

I want to be able to pull off NPH's swim trunks

[–]Opeth296 3 points4 points ago

What did he think of the combover?

[–]CTRL_ALT_ESCAPE 4 points5 points ago

No hoverhand action there!

[–]Benassi 15 points16 points ago

Did you suck his dick? I would have sucked his dick.

I'm a straight male.

[–]johnlisankie 4 points5 points ago

I hate your face.

[–]atpeters21 5 points6 points ago

He appears less than excited to be posing for this picture.

[–]Kensin 7 points8 points ago

But he's pretty awesome to for taking the time to do it. That guy is all class.

[–]BadgerHairBrush 5 points6 points ago

Are you NPH meeting Fred? Or Fred meeting NPH?

[–]LoneStarLowCarb 2 points3 points ago

You look a little like Jim Carrey in Dumb and Dumber.

[–]upvotethisnowplz 2 points3 points ago

everyone is running into famous people and im just sitting here redditing

[–]TheBisonSteve 4 points5 points ago

What a crazy, random happenstance!

[–]89rovi 4 points5 points ago

You ran into Michael Cera!?

[–]BeenHustlin 3 points4 points ago

NPH ran into overly attached girlfriend?

[–]starside 7 points8 points ago

I don't know who is who, but due to the not give a shit to enthusiasm ratio I' guessing you're the guy on the right

[–]fern42 9 points10 points ago

so gay ;)

[–]FionnIsAinmDom 7 points8 points ago

HAHA THAT'S FUNNY BECAUSE NEIL PATRICK HARRIS IS GAY!

[–]TanStoney 2 points3 points ago

I feel NPH would like all of the internet to leave him alone...

[–]DocEjacula 3 points4 points ago

NPH! Did not know you were a redditor. I think it's cool you treat Jason Biggs like a celebrity when you run into him!

[–]LazyNarwhal 6 points7 points ago

We don't know who that kid is Neil.

[–]sildo 3 points4 points ago

Am I the only one that is bothered by how short his bathing suit is.

[–]Mindelan 39 points40 points ago

I was thinking about how flattering it is actually. I'm hoping that mens' shorts start moving away (up) from the weird capri length that is popular right now.

[–]ThatThereKipz 9 points10 points ago

Over here in Australia, we basically only wear short shorts to the beach/pool etc

The boardshorts style, is generally for the younger kids who still let their parents dress them

[–]mouseknuckle 1 point2 points ago

Thank you! Ugh. I've been calling them "capri pants for men" for a couple years now. Not that I want to go full budgie-smuggler, but there comes a point when shit gets ridiculous. And with the boxer shorts hanging out, we're well past that point.

[–]queen_of_greendale 5 points6 points ago

That bathing suit is sexy as fuck.

[–]friskyapplebum 7 points8 points ago

if you meant turned on, no.

[–]VanFitz 2 points3 points ago

"Ran into"

[–]Heroshade 0 points1 point ago

Me before clicking link: I bet it's Niel Patrick Harris.

Loads slow, only reveals top part of his hair

Me: Yep.

[–]mattstanton94 1 point2 points ago

so you were at a gay bar? also it looks like you're bending your arm behind your back

[–]MrArgo 2 points3 points ago

You look truly fucking psychotic.