top 200 commentsshow all 360

[–]r3turn_null 861 points862 points ago

Fight or flight my ass!! My only defense would be to shit myself and hope he hates the smell.

[–]KazMux 239 points240 points ago

Nah, man the fuck up and grab your trusty tiger-stick.

http://i.imgur.com/J5Hjbaz.gif

[–]Kredns 226 points227 points ago

I'm assuming that gif cuts off at that point because the dude gets mauled to death soon afterwards.

[–]Ragekritz 203 points204 points ago

Tiger-stick not viable defense.

[–]lesser_panjandrum 170 points171 points ago

Plz buff tiger-stick.

[–]Ragekritz 86 points87 points ago

We're working on it. A patch is set to be ready next week after V1.2.

We are laying out a series of fixes which include but are not limited to:

Tiger-stick: Physical damage has been raised 15% and we have reduced the amount of stamina it requires to swing Tiger-stick by 20% along with a new fix to the perk system that increases dexterity 15% for duel wielding Tiger-sticks.

Tiger: Increased the cool down rate for pounce and sprint by 15%, to make up for the increased cool down time we have increased fang damage by 10%, Claw damage remains the same.

[–]MoOdYo 39 points40 points ago

Added destructible rocks to rear of Elephant to allow for a temporary defensive position.

[–]Finrayy 4 points5 points ago

Fuck off, Dustin.

[–]DarwinsDrinkingBuddy 1 point2 points ago

I would not mind if Bioware put this into the multiplayer for Mass Effect.

[–]mcguganator 4 points5 points ago

You'd fit in well with /r/outside.

[–]TapsMan 3 points4 points ago

TIL.

[–]sylkworm 35 points36 points ago

No, but he does get seriously injured. Full vid here. Looks like he got a claw in the fore-arm or hand. Apparently, he's okay.

[–]smpx 15 points16 points ago

It's amazing how stealthy the tiger was until he pounced.

[–]EnlightenedNarwhal 3 points4 points ago

Looks like it spawned from the grass.

[–]ptboi42 2 points3 points ago

Pokémon!

[–]Blind_Sypher 8 points9 points ago

It cuts off at that point cause the tiger disappears back into the brush admist a hail of gunfire like a total badass, stickman gets to live another day.

[–]cockyjeremy 2 points3 points ago

Pretty sure he lost a few fingers. Source? I don't fucking remember. Read it years ago.

[–]GuyInRealLife 2 points3 points ago

Is he riding an elephant?

[–]imasunbear 22 points23 points ago

Why the fuck does the .gif end RIGHT WHERE THE GOOD PART STARTS?!

[–]ThankFSMforYogaPants 14 points15 points ago

That's the rule of .gifs. Always leave then wanting more.

[–]Rpgguyi 14 points15 points ago

Is he fishing for tigers?

[–]isaac13243 13 points14 points ago

I remember this video, the tiger's claws are actually so sharp that the guy had a finger or two cut off from that encounter.

EDIT: video Its amazing how you can't even see the tiger until it pounces.

[–]stevendidntsay 12 points13 points ago

Here's the longer version.

[–]spiny_dogfish 6 points7 points ago

that elephant is just now realizing why the fucking humans wanted to go wading out into the rice paddy

[–]Fuglypump 159 points160 points ago

Nothing is too disgusting to do in a moment like that.

[–]kamp_krusty 114 points115 points ago

fap?

[–]maxtheterp 205 points206 points ago

That's to assert dominance.

[–]the_red_phone 53 points54 points ago

depends where you shoot your load

[–]koppck 93 points94 points ago

Just make sure not to break eye contact.

[–]ceepington 54 points55 points ago

Dude, you never finish. That's disgusting. I'm telling the boss.

[–]Buy_me_a_tubeamp 13 points14 points ago

Reference to the whitest kids you know?

[–]codemonkeh 15 points16 points ago

Seriously, I just woke up maybe 10 minutes ago and this is the first thread I went to- already read something about fapping. You guys are too classy sometimes.

[–]ChickenShoes 6 points7 points ago

Break your arms and tell your mother?

[–]EbonicPlague 60 points61 points ago

I just got back from Africa. If you run, it only guarantee's one thing. That you die. If you get charged by a lion or leopard or anything, you try and stare it down and show that you aren't prey. Then you just hope that it chooses not to attack you.

[–]ghsteo 32 points33 points ago

Its like the video of the guy who defends himself against a lion with toilet paper. He just stands his ground, stares at him with toilet paper in his hand.

[–]yellekc 51 points52 points ago

While some men are too scared to approach a woman in a bar, these guys just stole a lion pride's fucking dinner.

[–]nickelbackisbad 16 points17 points ago

Self-confidence is key.

[–]ScottWVU 3 points4 points ago

I would steal a lions dinner before approaching a women at the bar.

[–]boossaa 6 points7 points ago

A lion and a woman at the bar are the same thing.

[–]sajaru 3 points4 points ago

[–]andario 2 points3 points ago

Sure, the woman just keeps killing you every day, for the rest of your life. I´ll take lion, thanks

[–]ghsteo 16 points17 points ago

Fucking 6 balls of steel. Wow!

[–]controlmath 6 points7 points ago

That looked way easier than it should have been.

[–]the_funny_man 2 points3 points ago

Anybody can get past a dog. But NOBODY fucks with a lion.

[–]Hex-Kitty 13 points14 points ago

Do you perhaps have a link to said video?

[–]SinisterKid 50 points51 points ago

[–]eternallucidity 14 points15 points ago

That was.. That was amazing. I was seriously enticed into that, utterly gripped. Thank you for that. 1080P of that would be amazing. Thank you.

[–]isaac13243 16 points17 points ago

He probably used the toilet paper to wipe after. Seriously, that would be terrifying.

[–]Wilawah 6 points7 points ago

I don't have to run faster than the lion, I just have to run faster than you!

[–]ilikezombies 4 points5 points ago

Don't remember what show I was watching, but if they do run and attack, shove your fist down their throat. They will vomit and not be focused on you anymore. Then run for your life.

[–]ChiefBromden 2 points3 points ago

Not comparable, but it's the same with Coyotes. I run into coyotes every day and since we're taking away their food sources, they are becoming aggressive. If you're firm, confront them head on, they run away or will give a nip at the feet. If you turn, your calf is getting a little bite guaranteed.

[–]TigOlBitties95 9 points10 points ago

I would run whilst shitting myself. Also known as the Flight-and-Shit response.

[–]spankymuffin 3 points4 points ago

Remember: if you're with a friend, all you have to do is outrun him or her.

That's why all my friends are fatties.

I'm a pretty cautious person.

[–]McWut 4 points5 points ago

So you'd freeze... Fight - flight - freeze is more accurate

[–]illaqueable 3 points4 points ago

Ditto that. Was very thankful to be currently seated on a toilet when I viewed this .gif, cuz bowels be evacuatin'.

[–]Ceejae 5 points6 points ago

You really get a feel for how powerful they are here.

[–]skeddles 6 points7 points ago

that's part of flight

[–]McWut 5 points6 points ago

Physiologically freezing is completely different from fleeing

[–]mi89325 7 points8 points ago

Part of flight is releasing all bodily fluids so you can run faster.

[–]benemal 6 points7 points ago

shit myself and hope he hates the smell

That's my zombie apocalypse plan!

[–]Anathe 177 points178 points ago

TIL: tigers are just as excited as housecats when the can is opened

[–]yunolisten 11 points12 points ago

Apparently there behaviour is very similar. At least that's what the people at the Zoo always tell me.

[–]Kijad 28 points29 points ago

But far more annoying because they just eat the entirety of whatever you opened.

[–]Dinimuetter 51 points52 points ago

Along with you.

[–]Kijad 17 points18 points ago

Just don't, whatever you do, get the tuna on your hands.

[–]abcdefghihello 78 points79 points ago

I always thought to myself if I were in a situation where I had to kill a large animal with my bare hands that I would be able to somehow avoid the initial strike, jump on its back and strangle it or gouge its eyes out. I have just confirmed that I truly am a moron.

[–]scandinor 26 points27 points ago

Men like you and I were not bred for intelligence, we were bred for wrestling large carnivorous beasts to death to prove dominance to the males in our clan.

[–]Poncyhair 15 points16 points ago

We're from a rather short line of men

[–]spankymuffin 6 points7 points ago

By the time you actually notice there's a tiger out there, he'll already be chewing on your skull.

[–]Shakenbaked 2 points3 points ago

Meow that deserves an upvote!

[–]WarBegun 107 points108 points ago

Source (edited to link to original video - thanks berlinbaer)

[–]berlinbaer 44 points45 points ago

original source from the guys youtube account.. has lots more from him and his tiger.. like the one with his tiger waking up which was on the frontpage in gif form couple of days ago..

[–]footcreamfin 5 points6 points ago

0:42, theres like a protective lay that opens when he opens his eyes. interesting..

[–]Zulu_Paradise 9 points10 points ago

It's called a nictitating membrane in case you're curious. We have this as well, sort of, but it's non functioning.

[–]Cheesius 7 points8 points ago

The second video of him waking up is just adorable! I love how Enzo makes bread in the air just like a regular sized cat. so cute.

[–]huntreilly25 8 points9 points ago

What's the deal with all the people in the comments having a fit about him feeding the tiger raw meat? I had a doberman pinscher and we had him on a raw food diet, I realize that it's a slightly different case because dogs are domesticated...but what the hell are you supposed to feed a tiger if you don't give him raw meat?!

[–]FluentinLies 2 points3 points ago

Rotisserie chicken

[–]spankymuffin 4 points5 points ago

THIS MAN IS INSANE.

[–]PComotose 13 points14 points ago

The guy is speaking Afrikaans. I couldn't catch all of it but, at one point, he says "That's nice, no?" (Das lekker, nein").

[–]Kennyman2000 15 points16 points ago

Afrikaans sounds just like Dutch but simplified. I could understand most he said.

The first thing he says is: Come "eenza" (probably the tiger's name) Then he says: Look at how wet you are.

Stuff like that.

[–]delutz 15 points16 points ago

Whoa whoa whoa don't leave me hanging, what's he say after that??

[–]CormacAndroid 7 points8 points ago

Is it nice? yes it's nice.

[–]Kennyman2000 3 points4 points ago

The only other thing he said was "Das lekker, hé?" Which means "That's nice, no?" Sorry!

[–]dubblechrisp 10 points11 points ago

Almost like it was purring a little bit.

[–]kennerly 31 points32 points ago

When tigers huff like that it means they are content. They can't purr like house cats. Mountain Lions are the only big cat that can "purr" like house cats the huff is the equivalent for tigers and lions.

[–]TMarkos 14 points15 points ago

Pretty sure the midsize cats can, like leopards and cheetahs. I saw a video of a leopard getting its belly scratched and it was going nuts.

Can't find the one I was thinking of, but: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ojz6qkSYGmA

[–]JBDW 2 points3 points ago

Cheetahs have the loudest purr of all of the cats. That's being pedantic though, since although the leopard's would be more accurately classified as being a 'growl', that sound in that video matches what I've heard personally, and it sure as hell was closer to contentment than aggression.

[–]OneShinyMudkip 226 points227 points ago

1-Put bowl on neighbors doorstep

2-ring neighbors doorbell

3-???

4-profit

[–]luvthecheat 54 points55 points ago

Are you satan

[–]remhawk99 13 points14 points ago

No he is satin.

[–]Rhymnocerus 9 points10 points ago

He's a shiny Mudkip, dammit.

[–]xmanii 15 points16 points ago

You sir are evil.....

[–]ghostinahumanshape 80 points81 points ago

now i'm afraid of water. there's tigers in there!

[–]EducatedRetard 84 points85 points ago

My father was taken from us by a pond tiger.

[–]DLMD 46 points47 points ago

[–]EducatedRetard 28 points29 points ago

[–]sniperkid1 6 points7 points ago

I saw relevant and thought, "What on EARTH could be relevant to that?!" I was not disappointed.

[–]Rouxez 9 points10 points ago

I learned that tigers like to swim from Zoo Tycoon. They got grumpy as fuck if they didn't have a swimming hole.

[–]RazorMaus 21 points22 points ago

How do people get Tigers as pets in the first place?

[–]PinballBob 28 points29 points ago

You could buy them at Harrods in the 70s.

[–]bigcitycrows 17 points18 points ago

In the few states that allow it it's unfortunately relatively simple, as long as you have the money for one, boom. This of course means that many people who should never have been let within a hundred feet of a tiger can get their hands on one.

In other states (like mine) they have been completely banned, and the only private ownership of tigers is for the people who grandfathered them in (already had them before the cutoff date).

It's a shame they have to go all "shut. down. everything." on them instead of just saying "you can own a tiger, but only if you know a whooooole lot about taking care of them responsibly and have the means to provide them with adequate space/housing/etc.", but like many things there were too many stupid yahoos abusing the privilege, so they got it ganked.

If you're reading this thinking "wow you know? That sounds cool. Should I do that?" the answer is 99.999% chance "absolutely not."

[–]Legit_GFX 17 points18 points ago

If you're reading this thinking "wow you know? That sounds cool. Should I do that?" the answer is 99.999% chance "absolutely not."

Ill get a bear then...

[–]bigcitycrows 6 points7 points ago

Rudimentary research/experience says they're less likely to attack and more likely to kill quickly instead of leaving permanently maimed, so...I guess it boils down to your views on that.

[–]lavacat 4 points5 points ago

This is also why there are so many large cat rescues in the United States that are overflowing with large cats people thought they could handle but could not.

I don't even know how someone could ever think it's a good idea to have a big cat as a pet. My housecat is a sweetheart, but when he's wound up or in a mood, he will nip or swat. One of those swats from a tiger would kill you.

[–]bigcitycrows 2 points3 points ago

I still sometimes will be talking with someone about exotic pets and they'll throw out the "I'll have it until it's grown and then I'll give it to a wildlife reserve." It's crazy that this kind of thinking still exists.

There's a sanctuary near the place where I volunteer that takes in as many animals as they can possibly handle (between you and me, I think this will run them into the ground) and they still are having to turn away tigers- specifically tigers- because they have all the tigers they can possibly handle already. and this is in a state where tigers are banned, this is just the ones that are seized from illegal owners or animal abuse situations!

[–]SovietPoland 6 points7 points ago

Petco. Duh.

[–]Superspookyghost 15 points16 points ago

There are actually a lot of tigers in the USA kept as pets. Maybe more than actually exist still in the wild. Most states that allow tigers as pets have no restrictions on private ownership and only require licenses for research and display.

[–]thiefrick 20 points21 points ago

I think it's a known fact that more tigers exist in Texas than in the wild.

[–]Mentalseppuku 17 points18 points ago

There are a few in Detroit as well.

[–]tucsonled 20 points21 points ago

And we know there's one in Vegas at Mike Tyson's house

[–]eyereport 148 points149 points ago

I like to think of myself as a mentally-disciplined person. I don't panic when I perceive that my life may be in danger. I try to keep a level head, figure out where/how I need to move, and quickly do so without losing my balance or composure.

But when I saw that tiger burst out of the water like an explosion and rocket toward the camera, I just assumed that the person filming was going to either die or be licked to death (assuming the tiger was friendly). He moved so quickly that I don't think I could even comprehend what was happening until it was too late, and even if I could have, he clearly has so much power that even my best efforts would be futile.

I'm feeling a bit humbled right now.

[–]Thecrumblingcookie 38 points39 points ago

Don't worry, tigers have natural strength and speed, but we are human and our mighty roar bellows forth not with the fury of a wild beast but with the clank and rattle of chain and steel. Strike and maul with claws and teeth we do not, but raze and plunder with thunder and fire tamed into shells.

We may not have wings but patrolling the heavens has not escaped us, even the fury of the depths has not been able to abate us. We harness the power of death into steel tubes and strike forth with the security of our tools and adaptability.

Mighty these beasts may be, but none so mighty as the wrath of the lightning storm that we have bent to our will and use now to make our survival easier.

We are Human, hear us roar.

[–]eyereport 15 points16 points ago

That seems of little consolation when I'm facing a charging 600-lb. tiger. Even if I had a large caliber pistol, I'm not sure I could shoot it accurately enough to make a difference in the 1.5-2 seconds between the tiger's eruption from the water and his arrival at my location. And that even assumes I'm expecting the tiger. If he surprises me, I likely have my pistol in my holster, so drawing it and chambering a round easily uses up my precious 2 seconds.

[–]B0und 6 points7 points ago

Was that something you just came up with? That was pretty good...

[–]Megatron_McLargeHuge 48 points49 points ago

And this is the tiger that was slow enough to get captured. Just think how fast wild ones are.

[–]Thecrumblingcookie 123 points124 points ago

Or he was, you know, raised in captivity.

[–]Detry 35 points36 points ago

Nah, a dude with a big net just ran around the jungle yelling HERE KITTY KITTY until he bagged this one.

[–]Petardfoozer 18 points19 points ago

Or just a really big cardboard box

[–]Hoebro 28 points29 points ago

and a laser pointer

[–]Megatron_McLargeHuge 94 points95 points ago

Still descended from a slow one.

[–]Zoydude 24 points25 points ago

Two slow ones for that matter

[–]Askol 4 points5 points ago

Or captured when it was small.

[–]hansolo 56 points57 points ago

I practically shat in my pants watching this.

[–]CrazyMansCola 60 points61 points ago

Luckily for me I'm redditing on the toilet.

[–]Dakota2145 18 points19 points ago

Me too!

[–]Spartan12421 10 points11 points ago

That's the best time to Reddit.

[–]dhaft88 12 points13 points ago

#numblegs

[–]zxjb 17 points18 points ago

My only thought was... Wow that would be fucking terrifying.

[–]bottle_cap 4 points5 points ago

Me too. I knew tigers were fast but holy shit....didn't think they were that fast.

[–]epto 14 points15 points ago

Same tiger, same owner, better footage: http://www.youtube.com/watch?NR=1&v=7z8KLlCfzwc

[–]LwrncD1 38 points39 points ago

RICHARD PARKER

[–]jstafford1138 21 points22 points ago

Oh nice, another one of those gifs with a vet with a baby TigeOHMOTHEROFGODDEMHEARTSPASMS

[–]GreenerThanYou 42 points43 points ago

Just swimming in da pooooool, just swimming in da pooooool. Wait... what's that!? MEATTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[–]ZippoS 17 points18 points ago

Heeerre kitty kitty kitt- OH GOD

[–]Namnilb 7 points8 points ago

Cinnamon! No!

[–]C11R6 14 points15 points ago

Theeeeey'rrrreee great!

[–]CLint_FLicker 43 points44 points ago

Notice how he doesnt drink the water cause its next to his food....

[–]germinik 23 points24 points ago

[–]Mooksayshigh 6 points7 points ago

Oh come on guys this was good.

[–]asadisperf 4 points5 points ago

Down Richard Parker! Down!

[–]TronIsMyCat 4 points5 points ago

Sometimes I think it would be cool to own a tiger, but then I realize how my housecat acts and imagine it to be my size. I would have died a long time ago.

[–]Menouille 1 point2 points ago

OH. MY. GOD ! RAMEN ! I FKIN LOVE RAMEN !!

[–]AvraCadavera 1 point2 points ago

Time to change my fucking pants

[–]harrynelson 4 points5 points ago

and change my pants

[–]El_Cabronator 4 points5 points ago

Only Mike Tyson would stand perfectly still while feeding his pet tiger. Everyone else would soil their pantaloons.

[–]TossTheDog 3 points4 points ago

Thank you for using the word pantaloons

[–]chadowikku 2 points3 points ago

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

[–]ambc63 2 points3 points ago

holy shit, that is terrifying.

[–]Spudymo 2 points3 points ago

That's frightening.

[–]killit 2 points3 points ago

I'd shit my pants if a massive CGI tiger ran at me like that!

[–]mndg 0 points1 point ago

cat drifting just got a whole lot more intense.

[–]TossTheDog 0 points1 point ago

Tigers make great pets... until they eat you

[–]sotrix 0 points1 point ago

It could be the compression and low-resolution but the water splashes look like CGI.

[–]novahkaine 0 points1 point ago

Dropped phone an shit my pants... Mother of god

[–]kylepierce11 1 point2 points ago

This empties the bowels

[–]smokyexe 0 points1 point ago

Where is the video for this?

[–]bergskey 1 point2 points ago

Never open a can of soup around him. Imagine how mad he will be when he realizes it's not noms

[–]ITZACKRIT 1 point2 points ago

Perhaps you waited a bit too long to feed it.

[–]facelessace -1 points0 points ago

Based solely on my belief that the cat could jump/climb that wall: this video is a phony.

[–]taint3d 0 points1 point ago

Hobbes?

[–]THEsolid85 0 points1 point ago

Confound it, Rajah!

[–]andbruno 1 point2 points ago

Not scared of movie monsters, video games, internet "spook" videos, ghost stories...

That was some scary shit right there.

[–]setantaslittlehelper 0 points1 point ago

Would in my fuck.

[–]WhatsUpWithTheKnicks 1 point2 points ago

To think that this is not even the fastest the beast can go. He probably just "hopped over" like "yeah, mum put treats on the dining table". Imagine what it looks like if he's in "go get it" mode.

[–]Gacnt 1 point2 points ago

When he blasts out or the pool it's like when they're flying in Dragon Ball Z and they do the speed boost thing and its all PPSHHHH and then they go real fast. Ill just see myself out.

[–]8bitProcessor 1 point2 points ago

Jesus I didn't know tigers where that fast

[–]aaipod -1 points0 points ago

That kind of looked like magnus charging in dota 2 for a sec

[–]jbend 0 points1 point ago

He just can't get enough of those frosted flakes.

[–]CIV_Swish 0 points1 point ago

Man fuck weak ass cats and dogs I want me a tiger or a lion. Might lose a member and all my money in fresh meat but at least they'll be interesting

[–]Jay_Go_Hard 0 points1 point ago

Bricks shat.

[–]Pillagerguy 1 point2 points ago

This is a dumb statement but: Shit tigers are fast.

[–]PostsWhileDrunk 0 points1 point ago

If only you'd have credited the video...

[–]ARCHA1C 1 point2 points ago

I hope tigers don't mind the smell of human feces while they're dining...

[–]jinger89 0 points1 point ago

The first few seconds after the tiger is out of the water, it looks like a phantom or ghost because of the water spray. Crazy.

[–]hootenatty 1 point2 points ago

Hooooooooly shit, that is terrifying.

[–]sazes 1 point2 points ago

Cool ya know...I didn't have to poop before, but you know what? I do now. Thanks!

[–]smellsmoist 0 points1 point ago

holy shit hes fast

[–]daniel1430 0 points1 point ago

Floatzel use Aqua Jet!

[–]DarwinsDrinkingBuddy 0 points1 point ago

God-damn, that would make for such an adrenaline rush!

[–]eat-your-corn-syrup 0 points1 point ago

You think it is your friend, son? brings a goat to sacrifice

[–]Riverscr 0 points1 point ago

I always thought tigers in Far Cry 3 were a bit op. After seeing this I think I might be wrong...

[–]Sucksauce 0 points1 point ago

Tiger uses Quick Attack!

[–]bafakazz 0 points1 point ago

I believe the bottom line is that if that tiger wanted you dead, you would be dead.

[–]Whyareyoufollowingme 0 points1 point ago

As a guy who plays Far Cry 3, this gif made me tense up.

[–]vertigo1083 0 points1 point ago

This reminded me of the old White Tiger Zord from Power Rangers, some 20 years ago.

[–]futafan 0 points1 point ago

I wish I was a Tiger...

[–]kungfu_anal 0 points1 point ago

I want chicken, I want liver, meow mix meow mix please deliver.

[–]rathum2323 -1 points0 points ago

bricks were shat.

[–]x_sb 0 points1 point ago

I am amazed how fast that cat is!

[–]ajkelly007 0 points1 point ago

Cinnamon, No!!!!

[–]peloncito 0 points1 point ago

Okay, that's just terrifying.

[–]Maveee 0 points1 point ago

Does anybody have a video source / background on the gif?

[–]PeteTheBandit 1 point2 points ago

My pants would be full of shit!