top 200 commentsshow all 276

[–]queen_of_greendale 259 points260 points ago

I've been bitten by a goose twice in my life. This sign is not fucking around.

[–]spicemilk 99 points100 points ago

I was strolling by a river listening to my ipod last summer, when I was set upon by two adult swans, they assaulted and chased me for about 10 minutes. Let me tell you this, water dwelling birds do not play, those mutherfuckers are the criminal underclass of the animal kingdom.

[–]docmuppet 32 points33 points ago

we accidentally hit one on the thames (attempting to steer an 8 is one of the most ineffectual in the world) and it started chasing us down the river determined to attack the cox, never rowed so fast in my life.

[–]spicemilk 24 points25 points ago

I am aware you are using rowing terminology, but I am lost as too what it means.

[–]Jeroknite 57 points58 points ago

The goose wanted cox.

[–]spicemilk 16 points17 points ago

Doesn't everyone?

[–]Laloquera 13 points14 points ago

Geeses love the cox

[–]BZSCA 5 points6 points ago

Just the tip

[–]RoyallyTenenbaumed 6 points7 points ago

I like Cox

[–]howdyman420 10 points11 points ago

Whew, that was a risky click.

[–]DRUNK_CYCLIST 2 points3 points ago

yeah, i thought it was going to be a totally different cox!

[–]ByronsReward 3 points4 points ago

oh hell, GIVE ME THE GODDAMN SOAP!

[–]stonedest 11 points12 points ago

Not a rower but I think I can decipher: thames - a river in England and various other places 8 - probably an 8 man 'crew' type rowboat cox - 'coxsain', the person in the back steering and yelling 'stroke'

[–]WretchedLocket 5 points6 points ago

So the person who yells "stroke" is referred to as "cox"? ಠ_ಠ

[–]spicemilk 15 points16 points ago

I am offended that you assume I wouldn't know what the Thames is.

[–]docmuppet 5 points6 points ago

Pretty much, coxswain doesn't shout stroke though (the person sitting in front of her sets that) but she's the only person who can see where we are going so shouts things like 250m to go, push for 10 (strokes) and get me the fuck away from the goose!

Tl;dr don't give small people microphones

[–]ShamefullyShameless 3 points4 points ago

8 = crew boat with 8 rowers, each operating one oar. 4 port and 4 starboard alternating each seat. All rowers face the stern, meaning the rowers only see the opposite direction you're travelling. In reality, you can only see the person in front of you or maybe a competitor in your peripheral, if you're vision hasn't blacked out from exhaustion yet of course. Cox = coxswain, the only person facing the bow. Coxswains are akin to horse jockeys in many ways, as they're generally very tiny, VERY intense folk who are in control of thousands of pounds coordinated muscle. Anyway, the cox is in the stern on loud speaker operating a rudder that's about 2 inches tall and 3 inches long on the bottom of the boat. It's for slight adjustments, as one would need when navigating a mostly straight race. He cant see whats directly ahead of the boat too well, seeing as though he's 4'-nothing trying to see over 8 guys twice his size and weight. Surprisingly, an 8 has remarkable control by coordinating differing stroke techniques or holds from the starboard and port rowers. Not as much as a 4/quad or double/pair, but either type can stop faster than a motor boat (oars come with brakes) and can effectively allow the boat to spin in place (starboards backing, ports chopping forward). The entire activity is remarkable, like a sport requiring the discipline and precision of the armed forces.

Sorry for wall 'o text. Guess I miss crew.

[–]CausesDiscomfort 6 points7 points ago

I was eating French fries by a lake and a goose bit me and stole my French fries. Then they laughed as they swam to the other side. A week later my cousin bit me in the same spot and stole my corn. Moral of the story, don't eat food near geese and cousins.

[–]acerbusc 2 points3 points ago

wat

[–]MrsEllimistX 10 points11 points ago

Also, turkeys. I lived in a Mexican village in the Mayan jungle, and everyone had turkeys. I have scars on my legs from those evil creatures. Eventually I began paying small children to herd them away from where I would be walking.

Edit: Forgot a word

[–]spicemilk 10 points11 points ago

Are you fucking serious? Dangerous, violent animals? Hmmm, I will pay small children to attempt to remove them from near me. How does it feel to have spiders where your soul should be?

[–]MrsEllimistX 15 points16 points ago

They didn't attack the children, only foreign white people. :(

[–]alien_from_Europa 4 points5 points ago

A couple of Goodfeathers.

[–]tinychode 5 points6 points ago

Swans can be real dicks, a few years back my brother got chased off a jetty into the river by the biggest, most rabid looking black swan I've ever seen, and the fucking thing looked pretty happy with itself afterward. He didn't do anything to provoke it that we could tell.. Had to swim around it to get back.

Oh yeah, and he was 20 or so, picture a grown man being pwnd by a swan. Still cracks me up every time to think about it.. But I can't really blame him. That thing looked like a carrier of super-AIDS.

Also a family friend once told me geese like to rip hairs off of humans.. Like, armpit hair, not head hair. No idea if that's true, but.. Fuck that shit.

TL;DR water birds are assholes

[–]ViagraAndSweatpants 7 points8 points ago

Swans are such dicks that even asshole geese stay away. A pond by my house floats fake swans to keep the geese away.

[–]Binsky89 3 points4 points ago

You probably got close to their nest

[–]spicemilk 4 points5 points ago

You probably got close to their nest council estate.

The metaphor stands.

[–]ohboycheese 1 point2 points ago

apparently what they do to humans is just part of their villainy. I remember reading that they steal eggs from each other to raise as their own...

Geese are fucked up birds IMO

[–]amuhammed82393 1 point2 points ago

kick them

[–]powerchicken 25 points26 points ago

The trick is to show the goose who's boss. If you panic and run, it will chase you, but if you raise your arms, make some freaky noises and rush straight at it, you'll quickly watch the fucker run.

^(I am not responsible for any goose-related accidents)

[–]MaxPowerzs 0 points1 point ago

This. I don't get why people are scared of geese, but I'm guessing it's because they try to run and then get chased.

Like you said, raising your arm and hissing at them makes them back off. If you have a jacket, fan it out. They'll quickly back down.

[–]-eDgAR- 23 points24 points ago

geese never fuck around either.

[–]ILL_Show_Myself_Out 43 points44 points ago

Yeah, they're unflappable.

[–]MUSTY_BALLSACK 25 points26 points ago

Show yourself out.

[–]ILL_Show_Myself_Out 29 points30 points ago

[–]pseudolobster 5 points6 points ago

That was just fowl.

[–]Dr_Explosion 3 points4 points ago

I thought it was impeckable

[–]mcgibber 6 points7 points ago

Someone should take a gander outside to see if it's still there.

[–]dzamie 4 points5 points ago

Hold on, I'll goose see.

[–]Schamblant 2 points3 points ago

Right, I'll take thiswan for the team. If I don't come back, don't send back-up.

[–]katzenkoenig 22 points23 points ago

I was attacked by this bastard of a goose and can confirm that they are very aggressive.

[–]Gank_Spank_Sploog 23 points24 points ago

Nice ass in background first pic.

[–]mackinoncougars 12 points13 points ago

everything looks perfect from far away.

[–]Jeroknite 8 points9 points ago

And that's why long term plans never work out.

:c

[–]iMunchies 2 points3 points ago

She's portugeese

[–]TheVelourFogx 8 points9 points ago

Hahaha it's so funny because he just looks like an asshole. He's straight muggin at you in those pics

[–]itsnotatoomer 5 points6 points ago

I was attacked by a goose in my office parking lot. I had just enough warning to kick it in the head before it bit me. I didn't kill the goose but it was kinda fucked up when it waddled away. I was the stuff of legends while I worked at that Company. Songs were sung and feasts held because of my bravery.

[–]BrodyApproves 14 points15 points ago

Posted this in a previous, somewhat goose-related thread:
"There was a goose that always use to chase me at my Aunt's farm when I was little. Would try & peck me so I'd always give it a kick back & run off. We ate that mother fucker for Thanksgiving one year. I got the last laugh bitch."

[–]bearedbaldy 12 points13 points ago

I remember kicking one chasing me, made myself big with my arms out wide, hissed at it like it had been hissing at me and chased it away. Then walked calmly into work feeling like a bad ass. And that friends, is how I got over my supreme fear of geese.

[–]LAG83 2 points3 points ago

One bit my finger at my 5th birthday party... Asshole..

[–]speedyspaceturtle 1 point2 points ago

I've also been bitten by a goose. The goose is fucking no longer around.

[–]fligs 1 point2 points ago

when i was a child a goose stole my cookie. If I see a goose I RUN.

[–]jgur88 0 points1 point ago

I worked as a lifeguard at a lakefront beach, and I had to pick up 50 pounds of goose shit a day. One more reason they are fucking evil.

[–]Noahflanagan24 0 points1 point ago

I've been attacked by a goose, and it is as scary as shit

[–]inankan 93 points94 points ago

It's a trap. The goose put that sign there. There's a gaggle out back.

[–]Lucid-Pasta 15 points16 points ago

A Gøøse once bit my sister.

[–]ThatsSciencetastic 6 points7 points ago

No realli! She was Karving her initials on the gøøse with the sharpened end of an interspace tøøthbrush given her by Svenge - her brother-in-law - an Oslo dentist and star of many Norwegian møvies: "The Høt Hands of an Oslo Dentist", "Fillings of Passion", "The Huge Mølars of Horst Nordfink".

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]not_a_gangster 5 points6 points ago

You just wanted an excuse to say 'gaggle'.

[–]Japanistan 3 points4 points ago

gaggle

[–]Waiting4you 60 points61 points ago

Geese make excellent guard birds. They are big, mean, fearless, and in a flock will take you out. I used to have to call my neighbor if I was coming by because I couldn't make it past her security. Even on a bicycle they would get me. Oh, and they would mercilessly attack my dog too. They didn't give a flock.

[–]HowToPaintWithFerret 26 points27 points ago

As far as I remember, peasants in medieval England used to actually use geese as guard animals.

[–]JohntheShrubber 81 points82 points ago

You must be old as shit to remember medieval England

[–]Shocking 17 points18 points ago

He waits for the once and future King to return.

[–]Jeroknite 5 points6 points ago

Interesting last four letters of your name.

...I'm on to you e_e

[–]imfm 0 points1 point ago

The dog on my grandparents' farm didn't give a rat's ass who came up the driveway or into the house. The flock of geese, however....

[–]grunge_pirate 22 points23 points ago

I swear to god, this is the office where I work. It's right next to a nature preserve and those geese were trying to hatch goslings in the planter boxes outside. We couldn't use that door for over a month because it's illegal to interfere with anything the animals in the area do.

[–]attacksushi 6 points7 points ago

I work there too!

[–]MastersInDisasters 5 points6 points ago

What ever happen to natural selection?

[–]Gank_Spank_Sploog 7 points8 points ago

Hippies.

[–]halotwo2 4 points5 points ago

If you consider humans an agent of natural selection, then you could essentially justify killing everything indiscriminately.

[–]resprowork 2 points3 points ago

Good ol' Stream

[–]anonthepeople 2 points3 points ago

No. There is nothing good about ol' Stream. Nothing. Except the people. Some of them are alright.

[–]Binsky89 1 point2 points ago

This happened at my school in front of my dorms. The wildlife department eventually relocate them

[–]frankfurdbenedict 11 points12 points ago

University of Waterloo?

[–]afoolsfool 2 points3 points ago

What I thought too…

[–]jamesisworst 3 points4 points ago

Get back to /r/uwaterloo fool!

[–]dumb_girls_are_dumb 3 points4 points ago

most definitely

[–]ssjbardock123 31 points32 points ago

I've never understood the fear behind geese.

When I was growing up there was a lake I walked by with tons of geese there all the time, and they always did there 'Come at me bro" wing flapping.

I would then simply walk past them, and if they came to close, scream at them.

They would then back off.

Maybe the geese in my area are pussies or something...

[–]NikkoTheGreeko 12 points13 points ago

I used to grab them by the neck when they would strike, neutralizing them. Or grab their bodies holding their wings to them, and turn them upside down. They start riding an invisible upside-down bicycle and forget why they were mad. It's fun, try it!

[–]JohntheShrubber 13 points14 points ago

Did not work so well for this guy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PNAOORJlCZY

[–]17-40 4 points5 points ago

"Crazy-ass goose!" Another reason I'm glad I have a German Shepherd. That guy's dog took a lot of abuse.

[–]ryansoper 10 points11 points ago

No word of a lie, One of my dogs, a west highland terrier would be like the dog in the video. The smaller dog, a jack russel would of ripped it to fucking shreds the second time it attacked.

[–]17-40 7 points8 points ago

Jack Russels are not to be trifled with. When my dog sees birds like that it's all I can do to keep him from going after them. One bite is all it takes. The day he chased wild turkeys out of the yard was his proudest moment of life.

[–]gspot88 10 points11 points ago

At what point would I not be judged for killing said goose?

[–]Detry 8 points9 points ago

When I worked at the SPCA I grabbed the fuckers by the neck and yelled at them when they attacked, they learned pretty quickly and doesn't hurt them in the slightest.

[–]NikkoTheGreeko 7 points8 points ago

And a quick twist of the neck provides some nice Goose jerky.

[–]Discophilly 7 points8 points ago

And also saves you a trip to buy expensive goose grease.

[–]charol_astra 0 points1 point ago

hell yeah, I could kick a goose's ass.

[–]Binsky89 1 point2 points ago

I just kick them in the face (not hard, mind you)

[–]Notaserialkiller_yet 10 points11 points ago

I like to grab them when they are looking at you. I grab them and stick them in a burlap bag and bring it with me into my garage with all of my tool sets. I tie its legs together and hang it from the ceiling. After this I take my baseball bat and beat it for hours on end, and then take it out of its misery by slicing its head off. After I pluck all of its feathers off.

[–]Shocking 4 points5 points ago

rel...relevant username?

[–]Jeroknite 5 points6 points ago

0 days old :/

[–]OriginalityPolice 110 points111 points ago

Anyone seeking more info might also check here:

title comnts points age /r/
Use other door. 3coms 7pts 1mo WTF
Use the other door please 119coms 637pts 5mos funny
Company cuts cost on security 1com -1pt 8dys funny
Bring it 4coms 64pts 2mos funny
Guard goose 7coms 3pts 7dys funny
I think I could take him 19coms 140pts 8mos WTF

source: karmadecay

[–]atheos93 35 points36 points ago

I love the passive-agressive nature of these posts.

[–]abillonfire 48 points49 points ago

Thank you, this will surely help me gather the information I need about this aggressive goose

[–]RicoSuave803 2 points3 points ago

How else will we prepare for the goose uprising? It's bound to happen.

[–]xHelpless 20 points21 points ago

Why do geese terrify you so much? You have a HUGE advantage over them, if they mean business give them a smack with something, or a kick. I guarantee theyll back the fuck off. Geese talk a big game, but realise theyre gonna lose out once some of the huge bipedal apes starts flailing back at them.

[–]fauxnetikz 12 points13 points ago

Now I've never been attacked by an aggressive goose/swan so I may be talking out of my ass here, but I'm not seeing what the hell everyone is afraid of. Yes, I get that they're very aggressive. But they're tiny and have no teeth. You might get a bruise from their beak pinching you, and yeah I bet it would probably hurt pretty bad, but you could A) flail your arms out and scream at them, B) grab them by the neck and their only weapon is completely disabled, or C) just kick the fucking shit out of them. I'd probably try A, then C. I could imagine the bite would hurt a lot more on fingers than it would on my leg.

Maybe one day I'll find out if I'm full of shit or had it right.

[–]CurlyNippleHairs 13 points14 points ago

They come up to you with such confidence you just get a feeling that they have something planned and you're about to be sodomized

[–]Alzadar 6 points7 points ago

In Canada and the U.S., there are laws protecting migratory birds. Provoking them by walking up to their nest and then beating them up is illegal.

[–]Pignore 11 points12 points ago

It's definitely funnier the seventh time around.

[–]Mgc_rabbit_Hat 4 points5 points ago

No luck catching them geese then?

[–]kuzndave 3 points4 points ago

It's just the one goose, really.

[–]frustratedsardine 4 points5 points ago

The lack of punctuation still offends me. The goose is ok, though.

[–]dmonator 3 points4 points ago

repost

[–]YentFedora 5 points6 points ago

If they have guard geese could they make attack geese? Or is that every goose?

Side note attack geese sounds badass.

[–]creedofwheat 7 points8 points ago

Repost is a repost is a repost

[–]hellpony 3 points4 points ago

I'm getting chills from his icy murderous gaze.

[–]LyingPervert 3 points4 points ago

If there is one thing I have learned during the eighteen minute walk to school in the last four years, it's to not wear good shoes when it's wet out. Goose shit. Goose shit everywhere.

[–]resprowork 2 points3 points ago

I used to work at that place, the goose was crazy.

[–]agentskarn 3 points4 points ago

good ol stream

[–]stigmaboy 2 points3 points ago

Why are people afraid of geese? They are less than half our size and have hollow bones. If one attacks you just kick it?

[–]finkleborg 2 points3 points ago

There were geese at my old office job, and everyone would stay very far away from them, taking ridiculous measures to not come near them in the parking lot. I was told they bite/attack/chase if you get too close.

Well one day I was late and I was like fuck it, come at me geese! I walked through them sort of gingerly and they didn't even look at me.

So every day I'd walk a little closer, out of laziness mostly. Eventually I'd swing my bag near them to provoke them or something. Sounds crazy but it was like they didn't even see me. I didn't touch them or anything. I'd stomp through their geese-crowd. They didn't care. I eventually ignored them like they ignored me. Coworkers who saw were amazed at my bravery.

tl;dr I'm invisible to geese.

[–]Lots42 1 point2 points ago

No, they knew you were Alpha as Fuck.

[–]NickConrad 2 points3 points ago

Fuck. Yo. Repost.

[–]Keadaen 4 points5 points ago

repost, from a friend of mine at her work actually.

[–]snowflakehaswag 2 points3 points ago

One time I got bit by a duck and it got infected, I had to go to the hospital.

[–]jijbentpasraar 11 points12 points ago

Did you died?

[–]LATKE_IN_MY_TUCHES 3 points4 points ago

never forget

[–]jaysansone 1 point2 points ago

In my experience, Geese are dicks

[–]Valmart 1 point2 points ago

I'd kick the shit out of that goose.

[–]Freddie_AppsHero 1 point2 points ago

Honk.

[–]DaRealSealburger 1 point2 points ago

There was probably a nest nearby out that side with a young gander inside. Geese are highly protective of their young, and chased students at my university if they got too close to a nest.

[–]kuzndave 1 point2 points ago

I know this is old and all, but at what point do you defend yourself and fight a goose? Would I be shunned by onlookers if I risked the door and ended up killing the goose when it came after me? I'm sure it would end up a tasty meal.

[–]Dashzz 0 points1 point ago

Is this a challenge?

[–]thefigpucker 0 points1 point ago

I've goosed a goose that was on the loose with a noose around it's neck. ( that's how I caught it. )

[–]nowikn0w 0 points1 point ago

What the duck

[–]uncle_dirty 1 point2 points ago

i feel like that should say HIS door instead of this.

[–]WraithPDX 1 point2 points ago

What you don't realize is the goose is protecting potential employees from working there.

[–]Xzleon 0 points1 point ago

Guard Goose has finally left his station outside my apartments. The curse has been lifted.

[–]comealongpond12 0 points1 point ago

Oh my God... I think I used for work here... The geese would bite the windows.

[–]Wankelman 0 points1 point ago

Uhh. Appropriate level of concern for a goose attack:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tcCHw5iYI4g&t=0m36s

[–]MarcJL31 1 point2 points ago

Exact same thing happened at a business in Spfld, IL. Goose laid its eggs near the entrance and protected them from anyone trying to get to work.

[–]HaggarShoes 0 points1 point ago

I would cross out the T in 'this' door... that goose clearly owns that shit now.

[–]Loydiso 0 points1 point ago

WTF!! The goose has against human anyway?

[–]snozzberry420 0 points1 point ago

They need to call the Geese Police

[–]moose111 1 point2 points ago

I was born in Kenya, and have heard my parents tell countless stories of our gaggle of geese being more effective at chasing robbers/predators off the property. They're louder, more aggressive, and larger geese can break a man's arm with a flap of their wing. However, we did have a couple bull mastiffs as backup, lol.

[–]Ed-alicious 0 points1 point ago

Grouse Lodge, the world renowned recording studio in Ireland, has one of these.

[–]novacd 0 points1 point ago

why doesn't someone just kick this goose's ass

[–]A_TRex_In_Every_Pic 0 points1 point ago

Weird... I use to work there.

[–]birddancer 0 points1 point ago

Desperately wanted this to be a GIF

[–]rruunng 0 points1 point ago

Oh , I think this will be attractive on a mashed potatoes dish . Just saying

[–]danimal317 0 points1 point ago

That goose looks delicious.

[–]kfeltme 0 points1 point ago

The only Canadian assholes

[–]Artemissister 0 points1 point ago

I'd like to talk to someone who owns geese. If I live in an isolated area, what will be better protection, a bunch of dogs or a bunch of geese?

[–]dangoodspeed -1 points0 points ago

What would be awesome is if people actually aren't supposed to go through that door for whatever reason, and the goose is just a real stickler for following the rules.

[–]nbott12 1 point2 points ago

How many times is this picture going to be posted?

[–]The_Kief_Chief 0 points1 point ago

Canadian geese are vicious as fuck.

[–]JediPsychologist 0 points1 point ago

Does it belong to the store, or is it wild? And if wild, why haven't they called animal control? Since it's attacking their customers, I mean.

[–]ryansoper 0 points1 point ago

No joke, the British Army have before employed Guard Geese on some bases and installations.

[–]FinnishFiddler 0 points1 point ago

This is just like the swans that live at my husband's school.

[–]consiliumz 0 points1 point ago

My grandma used to take me and my sister to feed geese/ducks when we were little. I remember numerous times, she would hand me the bag of bread (knowing full well they wouldn't wait for me to throw it) then let them chase me for a few minutes. I eventually just started climbing on top of her car

[–]lowertechnology 0 points1 point ago

Geese: Nature's Assholes

[–]cameronbates1 0 points1 point ago

r-r-r-r-r-r-repost!

[–]thedatageek 0 points1 point ago

TOTALLY TRUE! I used to work in the Property Management dept of a bank in Illinois and there was a family of geese who took up residence right outside the front doors of the Processing center in Mt. Prospect a few weeks each year. Turns out we were situated smack dab at a stop over point for this family's migratory pattern.

My boss was an avid hunter and he refused to touch 'em because state law forbade messing with the birds. Animal control was a waste because they would trap and release and w/ in a day the birds were back.

Best we could do was lock the doors and post that exact sign.... Hey, that lobby looks familiar!

To;dr migratory attack geese kept bankers at bay 3 weeks per year.

[–]CoolMcDouche 0 points1 point ago

Fucking kick it. Asshole geese deserve it.

[–]chubbysumo 0 points1 point ago

I would just football kick the fucking nuisance goose and it would never come back. why are people afraid of a little poultry, jesus, its not like it even has teeth, so it could pinch you. fucking kick it, and it goes away.

[–]HonkHonk 0 points1 point ago

Could be wrong, but this looks like the University of Waterloo. There, the geese run the place during nesting season.

[–]Burial4TetThomYorke 1 point2 points ago

see 'guard duck' from pearls before swine

[–]Elcubbos 0 points1 point ago

Door,**

[–]AMZ88 0 points1 point ago

go out with a hockey stick and beat the goose. problem solved. door cleared up.

[–]ohboycheese 0 points1 point ago

I wonder if its worth the risk to punt/kick said goose

[–]Verbose_Slayer 0 points1 point ago

I will fuck that goose and eat it raw.

[–]Hesthatguy1423 0 points1 point ago

Whos goose was let loose? I know thats not funny :(

[–]ekolis 0 points1 point ago

At least he doesn't have a bazooka...

[–]trollzor117 0 points1 point ago

Just punt the damn goose. Sure it might kill it, but there is no more vicious goose

[–]ataraxic89 0 points1 point ago

Spawn camper.

[–]drumfreek124 0 points1 point ago

Challenge Excepted.

[–]urbaneinthemembrane 0 points1 point ago

Not sure if Comic Sans is kidding around or actually surious

[–]tha_dood 0 points1 point ago

I've never been attacked by a bird, but I'll kick it really hard if I do. Is that hard for people or something?

[–]n1zm0 0 points1 point ago

Basically this is what'll happen.

[–]feor1300 0 points1 point ago

Goose would be punted if it fucking tried it. I weigh 200 it weighs, what, 30? Plus I'm pretty sure I got the reach on it.

Of course, I'd love to be attacked by a group of them so I could try and grab a couple by the neck and go all goose-chuck on their fowl brethren.

[–]valhrona 0 points1 point ago

If you've got a purse or backpack, swing it at them as if you mean business. They usually back off. And if they don't, well, then you're going to strike the goose, "by accident."

[–]ChooseyGoose 1 point2 points ago

Ha, reminds me of Pearls Before Swine.

[–]gladdo420 0 points1 point ago

Those are the only things "Canadian" I hate

[–]BruceDoh 0 points1 point ago

Why do people who make signs hate punctuation how are we supposed to tell when one sentence ends the the other begins

[–]anacathartic 1 point2 points ago

[–]kateb0617 0 points1 point ago

My grandparents live on a lake and feed the geese in their backyard all the time. One time a big goose decided it did not like where I was standing in the backyard and came after me. I stood my ground and made a ton of noise and it ran away. All my grandma saw was me scaring off her geese... It was not a good day for me, but at least I didn't get bitten.

[–]AngryGoose 0 points1 point ago

Because fuck you all!

[–]ThatOddWolf 1 point2 points ago

One time I was walking my miniature schnauzer and a one of these fuckers came around the corner, before I could react, he ran at the goose, yanking the leash out of my hand. The goose slapped my dog with it's wing, yet my dog was unfazed and on top of the goose gnawing on it's neck.

The week before I was out of town and my dog stayed at my grandpa's house, out in the country, woodsy area. Seems like he learned some things out there...

[–]thebroccolipop 0 points1 point ago

sniff sniff is that a repost I smell?!

[–]MinjaSaurus 1 point2 points ago

Canada's most vicious predator.

[–]MultifariAce 0 points1 point ago

I'd still use the door.

[–]B-rock8 0 points1 point ago

[–]AlexCaw 0 points1 point ago

so...many...reposts

[–]capitanboots -1 points0 points ago

Fuck gooses, if they attack just very suddenly spread your arms and jump towards them, pussies fly away like little goose bitches that they are.

[–]SplickDash 0 points1 point ago

Yeaaah kinda funny the first time.

[–]TidderTNE -1 points0 points ago

I once worked at a best buy. We were able to go outside and have cigarettes on our breaks but Unfortunately a mother and papa goose had laid their eggs there so I wasn't able to enjoy my smoke without being hissed at and chased, so you know what I did? I came back later at night and cracked it with a tennis racket. Showed him.

[–]Se7eNBRC 0 points1 point ago

i cant decide if its scary how small the world is or awesome how much of stream's corporate bandwidth was used for reddit, either way raise your had if you've ever slaved away in those halls, raise both if there's no chance they'll ever hire you again! raises both what what

[–]detinic 0 points1 point ago

Another angle of him http://i.imgur.com/sPlkgnr.jpg

[–]Harsharya08 0 points1 point ago

Repoooooooost