top 200 commentsshow all 210

[–]jaydeekay 405 points406 points ago

No one seems to have mentioned that it's really easy to break pretzels and then use your saliva to glue them back together.

I've made pretzel chains quite a few times before.

[–]Barnyweasely[S] 399 points400 points ago

Sshhhhh

[–]dacg2d 324 points325 points ago

OP sits on a throne of lies.

[–]Razill 72 points73 points ago

H never technically lied...

[–]Devon64327 103 points104 points ago

J on the other hand is a filthy liar

[–]righteous4131 48 points49 points ago

I heard L was cheating on R

[–]NoSleepForMeEVER 28 points29 points ago

Omg I have to tell B! Her and G are gonna F-ing die!

[–]Lpalani 40 points41 points ago

K

[–]Alex_S_Harris 30 points31 points ago

I'll take that "K" and shove it up your A.

Edit: I had to do it.

[–]King_Rafiki 5 points6 points ago

You didn't actually have to do it, man! You took that joke too far.

[–]LargeCoke 8 points9 points ago

...shove it up your A.

FTFY

[–]MaxFrenzy 0 points1 point ago

It's ok, she only gave L a handy.

[–]bartonar -2 points-1 points ago

Lysa was cheating on Robert...

[–]euroski 0 points1 point ago

Solve for X

[–]heracleides 0 points1 point ago

X marks the spot.

[–]bartonar 2 points3 points ago

Jaqen H'gar is a filthy liar.

[–]mustang321 0 points1 point ago

Not many people will understand

[–]chilidog17 0 points1 point ago

This.... This made my entire year.

[–]agorahrah 0 points1 point ago

A throne of false implications.

[–]waflitis 13 points14 points ago

OP smells of beef & cheese.

[–]MeZoosta 4 points5 points ago

OP is not Santa! HE'S NOT SANTA!

[–]waflitis 2 points3 points ago

SANTA?!? SSSAAAANNTTAAA!!!!! I KNOW HIM!!!!

[–]Derpchan[!] 1 point2 points ago

OP spits on a throne of lies.

[–]Rassilon3 0 points1 point ago

And smells like beef and cheese.

[–]Bishopkilljoy -1 points0 points ago

[–]elesdee -1 points0 points ago

A THRONE OF LIESSSS!!!!!!

[–]blackhawk465 9 points10 points ago

I can never tell when the OP is going to be upvoted or downvoted for being a faggot.

Is there an equation?

[–]UnEntitled 1 point2 points ago

OP IS A BIG PHONY; REPEAT, OP IS A BIG, FAT, PHONY!

[–]ManofToast 0 points1 point ago

Busted.

[–]WorstCurtainsToDate 0 points1 point ago

OP is a phony!

[–]poststowrongthread 45 points46 points ago

One of the reasons getting regular colonoscopies is critical is because of the strange way our colon works. The vast majority of the diseases that can happen in large intestine occur in the mucosa (the most superficial layer), while the innervation lies in the muscularis propria (a deeper layer that provides peristaltic movement). For that reason, pain almost never correlates with ongoing pathogenesis. If you wait till you see even the tiniest symptom (constipation, diarrhea, miniscule amount of blood) before getting checked out, your survivability for a diagnosis of colon cancer drops below 50%.

[–]AmpleWarning 29 points30 points ago

Somewhere, in a completely different subreddit, another OP is wondering what the hell pretzels and spit have to do with proactive colonoscopy.

[–]Itsmeagainmom 13 points14 points ago

I think you posted that to the wrong thr...oh. Never mind then.

[–]brchri 2 points3 points ago

I love you. You made me laugh. Yes, it's that easy.

[–]AlexanderSalamander 6 points7 points ago

...what's the deal with airplane food?

[–]brchri 1 point2 points ago

But... you're missing a relevant username.

Oh, what the hell.

[–]trustthepudding 3 points4 points ago

You ruined the magic for me. Everything was a lie!

[–]virnovus 2 points3 points ago

Well, if you hadn't mentioned it, I would have.

[–]michaelshow 1 point2 points ago

The bottom break is super visible

[–]StinkyTuna26 1 point2 points ago

I actually never knew that. I don't eat pretzels that often.

[–]bisqit 1 point2 points ago

[–]NoSleepForMeEVER 1 point2 points ago

Now I have to go make a pretzel clusterfuck.

[–]JesusHog 0 points1 point ago

Keebler bling, bitches.

[–]DyslexicPuppy 1 point2 points ago

fucking ruiner. i was so excited. i had sat here and thought that the manufacturer of these pretzels had done this but no.

[–]DreadPiratesRobert 0 points1 point ago

Well now I know what I am doing next time I am on a long flight

[–]CommonWaveSounds 0 points1 point ago

yeah, you can see a break if you look close enough on the top one.

[–]-ampersand- 0 points1 point ago

Damn. And here I thought OP might be the chosen one.

[–]silentjudo 0 points1 point ago

That, or it's a pretzel orgy.

[–]DaRabidMonkey 0 points1 point ago

What? I've been playing with pretzels for years, and I've never figured that out? What have I been doing with my life...?

[–]neogetz 0 points1 point ago

you can see the split on the bottom left one

[–]NotAnAmbulanceDriver 2 points3 points ago

TIL my saliva doubles as pretzel glue.

[–]candypaint 36 points37 points ago

Did you complain to the flight attendant that you only received one pretzel in your complimentary bag?

[–]LovesScience 21 points22 points ago

"I'm going to need another bag. How do you possibly expect me to eat this work of art."

[–]ihatethelivingdead 13 points14 points ago

If the nacho's are stuck together, that's one nacho.

[–]I_cant_speel 7 points8 points ago

If all the nachos are stuck together when you grab it, then you were the asshole to take the nucleus.

[–]ODubhghaill 19 points20 points ago

That's a $288.00 bracelet from Anthroplogie.

[–]Octoberfest 35 points36 points ago

Pretty cool, you should xpost this to r/mildlyinteresting

[–]turbie 9 points10 points ago

Might get more karma over there too.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]blackhawk465 5 points6 points ago

No? What would the irony be? Irony is the opposite of expectation.

/r/smallsubredditthatwillnotbecomeadefaultsubreddit would be ironic to get so many subscribers that it became a default subreddit.

/r/mildlyinteresting is ironic when it is more than midly interesting or not interesting at all.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]blackhawk465 3 points4 points ago

So, if /mildlyinteresting turned out to be one of the most interesting subreddits on the site, that wouldn't be ironic?

Most intersting subreddit on the site does not have to equal most subscribers. It being the most interesting subreddit would be ironic. Getting so many subscribers it became a default subreddit (like you said the first time) would not be ironic.

[–]Zanoushe 0 points1 point ago

No, but it would be mildly interesting.

[–]Parties_naked 18 points19 points ago

Not much difference between r/funny and r/mildlyinteresting these days..

[–]surfinfan21 8 points9 points ago

http://www.reddit.com/r/notinteresting is a nice change of pace.

[–]JBFRESHSKILLS 4 points5 points ago

Thank you for introducing me to this sub. I just spent a few minutes laughing about this.

[–]The_Dane 0 points1 point ago

hah that was actually pretty damn funny

[–]osnapitsjoey 0 points1 point ago

i dont get it

[–]Google_ImageSearch 13 points14 points ago

I googled his name. It's actually spelled oktoberfest. Your name, sir/madam.

[–]osnapitsjoey 0 points1 point ago

so you search for people names on google?

[–]Google_ImageSearch 10 points11 points ago

[–]osnapitsjoey 0 points1 point ago

i like you

[–]Ruvmu 1 point2 points ago

read his username

[–]HigherFive 1 point2 points ago

[–]verdatum 0 points1 point ago

being an ardent follower of mildlyinteresting, pretzel chains have been posted a couple times. They know they are fake, so they tend to get downvoted now.

[–]Replekia -2 points-1 points ago

Except he just broke the pretzels and glued them back together with his spit. It's not really interesting, not even mildly.

[–]Octoberfest 0 points1 point ago

Ok fun wrecker.

[–]BoomKizzle 13 points14 points ago

its easy as fuck. just snap it, lick it, and stick it back together. did anyone else go to elementary school?

[–]BiscuitHammer 6 points7 points ago

I really hope that "dafuq" stops being a thing. You can swear on the internet.

[–]SaberGaze 8 points9 points ago

WHERE IS YOUR GOD NOW?!

Just kidding hes over there at the juice bar.

[–]Slippyy 3 points4 points ago

For the love of connected pretzels, stop saying dafuq.

[–]Source-Bot 1 point2 points ago

If they sold these on amazon, I would buy these at the same price as a full bag.

[–]newtothelyte 2 points3 points ago

Monkeys in a barrel

[–]amesoeurs 2 points3 points ago

What a shitty title, OP.

[–]YaDamnSkippy 2 points3 points ago

OP is a big fat phony

[–]NewWhirledOrder 2 points3 points ago

Those pretzels are not funny.

[–]Fenoe 3 points4 points ago

if you write dafuq, you are an idiyt

[–]Barnyweasely[S] -1 points0 points ago

But u used it in your sentence to make a point. It's like says ain't ain't a word or never say never

[–]syntaxgs 1 point2 points ago

It coud The Makes It the way Look may be Crack then BAM and BANG suden lee The Prezzel All Stank Too gather Like that

It real it tea Just Think peaple

[–]rawbcrum 2 points3 points ago

Wat

[–]girrrrrrr2 2 points3 points ago

I dont see any way that this can happen...

Pretzels are extruded through a hole (think playdough) and cut off at certain points... so they cant be linked... unless someone at the factory did that...

And if they were doing the old fashioned long sheet of dough, and cut it from there... it still couldnt be linked...

[–]treetrunk30 0 points1 point ago

Step 1: Break the pretzel Step 2: Place pretzels as a chain Step 3: Use saliva to "glue" pretzels together Step 4: ???? Step 5: profit

[–]girrrrrrr2 0 points1 point ago

But people don't come on the internet to tell lies... do they?

[–]alvinrod 0 points1 point ago

alternatively, you wouldn't even need to "glue" them back together if you just arranged it so that the camera didn't capture the broken sections. Basically the same concept as a set of magician's linking rings, where the breaks are hidden.

[–]doyoudovoodoo 0 points1 point ago

i read this and just imagined some disgruntled pretzel worker like "SUCK IT, CASUAL SNACKER!"

[–]king_myrna 0 points1 point ago

It can with some careful breaking and a bottle of glue... I think?

[–]Africaner 0 points1 point ago

Wow - an in-flight snack I'd actually be excited about!

[–]jimmym007 -1 points0 points ago

How sad, some jerk killed Pretzels and made a necklace out of their hearts

[–]kimchigimchee 0 points1 point ago

an airline that still serves pretzels? wow.

[–]Journalisto 0 points1 point ago

It's like one of those candy necklaces or bracelets. Put it on. You'll look fabulous.

[–]qwertyuiop25 0 points1 point ago

It's a fancy earring

[–]multile 0 points1 point ago

Finally, someone found it. You're welcome for all the karma.

[–]-eDgAR- 0 points1 point ago

It's a pretzel centipede.

[–]bannana95 -1 points0 points ago

You sir win at pretzels.

[–]lurker8991 0 points1 point ago

How rude of you to interrupt their orgy

[–]saffa69 -1 points0 points ago

Inception pretzels...

[–]LiquidFire321 0 points1 point ago

Ah yes, the 'Tibetan Endless Knot Pretzel'

[–]Fascist_Orange 1 point2 points ago

this isn't funny...

[–]strongjz 0 points1 point ago

Still counts as one

[–]BringAmberlamps 0 points1 point ago

Jackprot!!

[–]puckmy5hole 0 points1 point ago

Sorcerer

[–]notatrueredditer -1 points0 points ago

no.

[–]philish123212 0 points1 point ago

Now imagine that great chain of pretzels, but covered in milk chocolate.

[–]LethalBanana[!] 0 points1 point ago

r/mildlyinteresting would love this. This is good stuff.

[–]SMUT_ADDICT 1 point2 points ago

[–]Wrote_With_Quills 0 points1 point ago

Ummm... Jackpot?

[–]Djsoundwave 0 points1 point ago

r/woahdude and r/trees might appreciate this I think ;)

[–]Leiryn 0 points1 point ago

One pretzel to bind them all

[–]happyklam 0 points1 point ago

why aren't they sold like this?!

[–]iisthebat 0 points1 point ago

bachmann pretzels? Ones that come in the clear bag?

[–]SolidArtifex 1 point2 points ago

Are you a wizard?

[–]bwaller94 0 points1 point ago

How did the same guy get the same picture on the front page twice at the same time?

[–]legitimategrapes 0 points1 point ago

Are you watching closely...

[–]sireWilliam 0 points1 point ago

I'll eat that.

[–]azoof 0 points1 point ago

With a pretzel chain, up in a plane, OP hopes there's karma to gain.

[–]musicmanryann 0 points1 point ago

Kill it with fire!

[–]postmodern_girls 0 points1 point ago

Enjoy that, son. You've earned it.

[–]wazurnamegirl 0 points1 point ago

hahaaa

[–]Jehio 0 points1 point ago

Isn't it obvious? The plane momentarily flew through a region of 4 dimensional space. It's quite simple really. I do it all the time.

[–]Pastogen 0 points1 point ago

"Kill me" CHOMP

[–]noahjpryor 0 points1 point ago

eat it.

[–]hollapainyo 0 points1 point ago

He glued 'em back together. You can see it there and there.

[–]iHasABaseball 0 points1 point ago

It's not a big deal, that's just how they mate. It's called a mating ball. The pretzels are also harmless. They rarely bite and even when they do, they don't draw blood.

[–]SirHenryMorgan 0 points1 point ago

Pretzel centipede...

[–]Xethos 0 points1 point ago

A witch!

[–]jzzanthapuss 0 points1 point ago

oh, great. now i really want pretzels, but i'm too drunk to drive to the store.

[–]Sahanrohana 1 point2 points ago

I'm really happy this wasn't in r/WTF

[–]tt6464 0 points1 point ago

These pretzels are making me thirsty.

[–]Gibbenz 0 points1 point ago

I don't know how you did that, but get the fuck out of my head.

[–]Demonic_Pitster 0 points1 point ago

I claim sorcery!

[–]SoupPlz 0 points1 point ago

I do believe your pretzels are protesting.

[–]SerOrNotToSer 0 points1 point ago

It's a new game. Pretzels in a barrel.

[–]BrahjMahal 0 points1 point ago

Monkeys in a Barrel, pretzel edition

[–]Mcbanjo 1 point2 points ago

Your title sucks. Can we be done with this word?

[–]ginjaninja1515 0 points1 point ago

Cause fuck society

[–]Torquie 0 points1 point ago

/r/mildlyinteresting

Although this is pretty cool.

[–]claudesoph 1 point2 points ago

[–]abrownie1 0 points1 point ago

I'm hyperventilating.

[–]ulalumae 0 points1 point ago

Its pretzel division, how did you think we got new baby pretzels?

[–]WilliamMarley420 0 points1 point ago

Yummy

[–]Firedemon698 -1 points0 points ago

Pretzel-ception.... pretzels within other pretzels.....

[–]AnalAvenger16 0 points1 point ago

Aliens

[–]Cheefnuggs 0 points1 point ago

If the pretzels get stuck together, that's one pretzel

[–]RiotDesign 0 points1 point ago

I have to sigh seeing something that should be a real, purchasable, product. Please, someone name it and make it real.

[–]whatidk -1 points0 points ago

Yeah, dafuq, what airline gives you snacks nowadays?

[–]fjnf39smf 0 points1 point ago

I would pay extra for an entire bag filled with one very long chain of pretzels.

[–]GuybelowIsGay 0 points1 point ago

Wear it and shit in the bathroom.

[–]OPTTAtholos 0 points1 point ago

We must deep fry it, and eat it!!!!!! For you know..... science and stuff....

[–]s0berate 0 points1 point ago

he's a witch. BURN HIM!

[–]poop_sicle 0 points1 point ago

That's 1 pretzel.

[–]luckspent 0 points1 point ago

EBAY

[–]KushKing253 0 points1 point ago

One pretzel connects another to rule them all!

[–]CA_Jim 0 points1 point ago

Are you a wizard?

[–]FkinAllen 0 points1 point ago

Where is your God now

[–]MeikoD 0 points1 point ago

You found the missing link!

Okay, I'll show myself out...

[–]RRDLRE 0 points1 point ago

Some men just want to see the world burn

[–]ArcanusFluxer 0 points1 point ago

Damn magicians. Always hooking rings together.

[–]sabotourAssociate 0 points1 point ago

You are ruining my comment idea, comment Idea now ruind its ruin... run

[–]lemur123456 0 points1 point ago

WITCHCRAFT! HERESY! BLACK MAGIC!

[–]Ju1cY_0n3 0 points1 point ago

Pretzels in a barrel!

[–]digitalpretzel 0 points1 point ago

I approve.

[–]vlfavourites 0 points1 point ago

PRETZELSCEPTION!

[–]Punkrocker333 0 points1 point ago

Buy a lottery ticket. Or ten.

[–]FourCheese 0 points1 point ago

It's the pretzel king!

[–]Bookwyrm76 0 points1 point ago

Pretzel ring to rule them all.

[–]tamed-carrot 0 points1 point ago

Every time i read "Dafuq" i think it's a city in the middle east.... then i realize I'm wrong

[–]brettmires 0 points1 point ago

Are you a wizard?

[–]mrmack123 0 points1 point ago

i call bullshit on maccoroni

[–]gstatty 0 points1 point ago

Centipretzel.

[–]09jtherrien 0 points1 point ago

If it makes you say "Dafuq" then it shouldn't be in /r/funny.

[–]terranitdown -1 points0 points ago

[–]MemeBot420 -1 points0 points ago

more mildly interesting than funny, not only that you can just break them off and use your spit to glue them together. and last but not least your title is fucking cancer. over all 0/10 kill yourself.

[–]Barnyweasely[S] -1 points0 points ago

Don't say kill yourself. Someone that I knows friend actually did because he had a rough life and bullies kept on saying kill yourself. Politely say go screw yourself in a corner or something

[–]MemeBot420 0 points1 point ago

Kill yourself

[–]LovesScience 0 points1 point ago

Some guy in the pretzel factory thinks he's so clever right about now.

[–]Vaypo 0 points1 point ago

Impretzive

[–]PixieBomb 0 points1 point ago

[–]scatmango -1 points0 points ago

op is a faggot