1410
1411

After seeing all my drunken texts this morning (i.imgur.com)

submitted ago by jstremfel

all 61 comments
sorted by:
best
best
top
new
hot
controversial
old

[–]bpeters108 41 points42 points ago

after many years of drunk texting, you'd think i'd learn to just turn of my phone. but every time i go out drinking, i am like yeahhhh you know whats sexy, let me text my ex at 3 am booty calling them with misspelled words. and if they dont want to or don't reply, continue to harass them for an hour. win.

[–]joseqh 26 points27 points ago

oh man

[–]jstremfel[S] 6 points7 points ago

I got you

[–]jstremfel[S] 7 points8 points ago

Hahaha I'm right there with you bro. Never again....never again

[–]joseqh 11 points12 points ago

Sometimes when i'm falling asleep i'll remember a really bad drunken text from years earlier. Usually these texts are so cringe inducing that i'll have to repress the memory if I wish to continue to function as a person. Anyways, once this memory resurfaces i'll roll over so that i'm face down on my pillow and i'll scream. I'm not sure if talking about it helps or not but whatever. I hope that you're feeling better man.

[–]Ratpuff 0 points1 point ago

lol what a fantastic thread, scumbags unite

[–]SVH 21 points22 points ago

Hiding under the covers and turning your phone off/onto silent is my go to method.

[–]Sarapeno 14 points15 points ago

Sometimes the shameover is worse than the hangover.

[–]Jigijopo 14 points15 points ago

I yelled at three different groups at my party to go have sex.......I never want to be able to remember that.

[–]fuckingcreep 13 points14 points ago

I didn't text anyone, just acted like a complete blacked out asshole to friends, and I hate it. Like, maybe drink a fucking glass of water? I hate myself.

[–]Digipy 11 points12 points ago

We all do it. I've already hit myself in the head about 10 times today from awful awful flashbacks. I know there's more.

[–]Yidzy 11 points12 points ago

Whenever you do something silly, just take solace in the fact that one day you'll be dead.

[–]admvp 1 point2 points ago

My god, this is fantastic

[–]SonOfObed89 33 points34 points ago

Talk about awkward when my mother asked why I sent her a text last night saying I wanted to motorboat her ASAP.

EDIT: barf

[–]WhirlingDervishes 24 points25 points ago

"That was such a silly text Tommy! You know we don't have a boat."

[–]thewarehouse 4 points5 points ago

Sorry mom, you know autocorrect on these phones. I meant to say "mortarboard" - you know, the college graduation cap? I think it's time you went back for your master's degree. What a great way to start the new year!

[–]WeAllWantNiceThings 2 points3 points ago

Drunken words speak sober thoughts. I'm just saying..

[–]Dhuske 6 points7 points ago

Not to ruin a joke, but that's such bs. Drunken words speak drunken thoughts, or, more often than not, a lack of thoughts.

[–]EPM5000 1 point2 points ago

Taking a stab in the dark but I'm guessing your mom has an amazing rack.

[–]oliveuh 10 points11 points ago

I tend to drunk-text the same person, he always refers to them as hieroglyphics.

[–]gtipwnz 2 points3 points ago

You want to k i s s that person.

[–]thehumanist89 6 points7 points ago

Don't worry man it happens to the best of us... Or the worst of us I'm not really sure which one it is at this point in time.

[–]jstremfel[S] 1 point2 points ago

Thanks for the support man. We just have to stay the course and hopefully they go ignored...the one's that I get responses to tend to be the ones that turn out to be the worst haha

[–]TrainWreck96 2 points3 points ago

This isn't even th 1% cat anymore... Everytime it's more like "the 'I should' cat".

[–]mooisacow 0 points1 point ago

Well, maybe he still drunk and this is his drunken meme

[–]TrainWreck96 0 points1 point ago

That makes sensr

[–]Digipy -2 points-1 points ago

I thought that's what it was.

[–]ThatsNotHowYouUseIt 4 points5 points ago

You know those breathalyzers they build into cars to keep them from starting if you're drunk? I want that for facebook.

[–]Incredible_is_i 6 points7 points ago

It's the same thing when I think I go to sleep high, then I realize I sent my ex multiple texts saying that pineapples were amazing and she should show me her tittties. In hindsight, I should've deleted her number.

[–]jstremfel[S] 3 points4 points ago

Lol I'm guessing you never got any pics

[–]Oh-InvertedWorld 3 points4 points ago

And what did your drunken self text?

[–]Sippycupsam 0 points1 point ago

Probably too painful for OP to recount.

[–]gtipwnz 0 points1 point ago

I like your username. Saw the Shins at Lolla this last summer :)

[–]LyingPervert 3 points4 points ago

It's like me with tweets

[–]Warszawiak_Mokotow 1 point2 points ago

Am I the only one who doesn't drink alcohol during New Year's Eve celebrations?

[–]lickityslits 17 points18 points ago

You know how to find out if someone doesn't drink? Don't worry they'll fucking tell you.

[–]Warszawiak_Mokotow 1 point2 points ago

LOL, same like with fucking vegans or vegetarians.

[–]rskinsg 1 point2 points ago

Oh man. That's why I stopped drinking

[–]FISH_MASTER 2 points3 points ago

Im guilty of this. I get a friend to change my phones log in, then email me the code, remove the notification from the phone (but don't delete the email) then return it to me. that way, when I wake up in the morning i can check my emails from my computer and unlock it.

Now i will have to get them to disable siri too.

[–]jerrymatthewmorris 2 points3 points ago

Why do you remind me?!?!?! hole die

[–]imcarissa 2 points3 points ago

This is the first time this meme has made me laugh

[–]volcomsurf 3 points4 points ago

I called and text my ex every time I party and I always regret it the week after because she won't stop bitching at me because of it... I should delete her ninber

[–]gtipwnz 0 points1 point ago

What if you have something really important to say?

[–]Nipple_Nugget 1 point2 points ago

what was your text?

[–]MrShadesIV 1 point2 points ago

Not OP but I told like 3 different people I love this Mexican girl from my college who smiled at me once.

[–]naffer 0 points1 point ago

Hello, yes, this is feel.

[–]Insultingcomment 0 points1 point ago

best thing you can do is get drunk again now and retext some of those people you care about and say you were a drunken ass yesterday.

[–]jseymour89 0 points1 point ago

I think this meme just reached it's zenith.

[–]GrukfromtheGrok 1 point2 points ago

I'd have a pocket full of money if I had a dime for every time I made an as of myself while drunk. I don't drink anymore. I'll never feel those feels again.

[–]Zivirus 1 point2 points ago

Last time I did this I woke up with a lot of awesome pics on my phone, no regrets.

[–]ithinkthisisshit 1 point2 points ago

Yup we've all been there. Fuck I hate that feeling

[–]root88 -1 points0 points ago

I upvoted this, not because I can relate, but because I agree with you.

Good day.

[–]Wrenblood 1 point2 points ago

This isn't even what this meme is about though :(

[–]jadzydax 1 point2 points ago

I have done myself a favor and removed dangerous numbers from my phone. Much safer.

[–]say_red 0 points1 point ago

Thread is making me feel better about my New Years. Only slightly though

[–]yea_i_nutted 0 points1 point ago

Speaking of the shameover, anything physically stupid I do (like falling into someone wheelchair bound, while three sheets to the wind and 'jew dancing like in fiddler of the roof' (verbatim)) never effects me psychologically as painfully as re-reading the all mightly retarded things I text hammered.

[–]IpostRandomNSFWpics 1 point2 points ago

Hi! I just want to say that this meme is great, you know what's even better?! This [NSFW]

Have a nice day!

[–]Adithen 0 points1 point ago

Over at r/trees, we don't have this problem :)

[–]mylittlestoner 0 points1 point ago

Well, you know. Drunken words are sober thaughts.

[–]raddrew2000 0 points1 point ago

Alright guys.. move on nothing to see here. You can literally write anything on the cat as long as the titles good enough

[–]cody_au -5 points-4 points ago

Maybe you shouldn't get drunk then? 2013 time to re-evaluate your life?