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Cream? (i.imgur.com)

submitted ago by danrennt98

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[–]Bikenutt 248 points249 points ago

Airplane was recently rated the funniest movie of all time. It deserves it.

[–]magnesinc 81 points82 points ago

Ever seen a grown man naked?

[–]TheRoachOn12 63 points64 points ago

Joey, do you like movies about gladiators?

[–]Hallc 48 points49 points ago

Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit drinking.

[–]danrennt98[S] 48 points49 points ago

Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue.

[–]Doc-in-a-box 18 points19 points ago

Auntie Em! Toto! IT'S A TWISTER!!!

[–]SilenceOfTheFallen 37 points38 points ago

Excuse me stewardess, I speak jive.

[–]Lepoth 10 points11 points ago

Golly!

[–]NovaPrime15 12 points13 points ago

Don't call me Shirley

[–]T-157 11 points12 points ago

I just want to wish you both good luck. We're all counting on you.

[–]GVE2008 7 points8 points ago

Surely you can't be serious.

[–]serendipitousevent 3 points4 points ago

Shine on you crazy diamond, Nielsen.

[–]vechmaster 7 points8 points ago

What do you make of this?

[–]meriadocdog 12 points13 points ago

Oh I can make a hat, a broach, a pterodactyl!

[–]vechmaster 0 points1 point ago

Lol I was waiting for someone to say that!

[–]umjammerlammy 6 points7 points ago

Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit methamphetamines.

[–]Frat_Panda 3 points4 points ago

Have you ever been in a Turkish prison?

[–]JonaldJohnson 0 points1 point ago

I remember reading about those G.I. Joe videos that went viral way back when. The Dockside Bars episode is described as referencing the gladiator conversation in airplane. I lost it when I read that.

[–]phishf00d 24 points25 points ago

Heck yeah it does. Not only is it incredibly funny, very little of it is topical so it ages beautifully.

[–]Hallc 12 points13 points ago

A Hospital!? What is it?

[–]danrennt98[S] 23 points24 points ago

It's a big building with patients, but that's not important right now.

[–]phishf00d -2 points-1 points ago

It's a big building with patients, but that's not important now.

[–]wearsredsox 0 points1 point ago

Except the Gerald Ford joke

[–]Instantcretin 1 point2 points ago

And the Kareem Abdul-Jabar bit.

[–]impossibru65 11 points12 points ago

"Would you like a swig, ma'am?" "Absolutely not!!" * proceeds to do a line of coke*

[–]LeftHandedFapper 3 points4 points ago

Most LPM recorded out of any movie!

(Laughs per minute)

[–]chceman 0 points1 point ago

Demetri Martin?

[–]T-157 2 points3 points ago

I don't care about your cats.

[–]I_am_a_lion 4 points5 points ago

I find Naked Gun much funnier. My god I find that film funny.

[–]gobberpooper 3 points4 points ago

I had to stop in the middle because I nearly threw up from laughing so much. The only movie to top it has been Wizard People, Dear Reader. After that I lost my voice for a week.

[–]OIP 1 point2 points ago

if you like wizard people, i implore you to check out baby cakes diary if you haven't already. IMPLORE

[–]gobberpooper 2 points3 points ago

I'm very familiar with Brad Neely. Didn't surprise me when I later found out Wizard People was what really got him started

[–]MentosGrande 2 points3 points ago

They only tested 10 movies.

[–]JayEffK 4 points5 points ago

Surely you can't be serious?

[–]Bx32 9 points10 points ago

I am serious, and don't call me Shirley.

[–]Hallc 2 points3 points ago

I am serious and don't call me Shirley.

[–]Zarathustra92 20 points21 points ago

The no. 1 best part about this movie. The plane is making propeller sounds for the whole movie.

[–]Adonej 4 points5 points ago

Oh my god how have I never noticed this x)

[–]scottg96 13 points14 points ago

This is, like, the exact opposite of putting the punchline in the title. Bravo.

[–]SHEESHKAH 35 points36 points ago

C.R.E.A.M.

[–]McStubble 23 points24 points ago

Get the money, dolla dolla bill y'all!

[–]Frinkis 18 points19 points ago

cash rules everything around me.

[–]Inspired420 2 points3 points ago

I grew up on the crime side new york time side

[–]KeeperofTerris 49 points50 points ago

You are the first person I've seen post this without putting the punchline in the title.

Bravo sir. Bravo.

[–]WickeSG 6 points7 points ago

http://i.imgur.com/vOqMG.gif

[–]USMutantNinjaTurtles -4 points-3 points ago

sir sir sir sir

[–]sivablue 41 points42 points ago

Surely you can't be serious.

[–]DonnieFatso 31 points32 points ago

she is and don't call her shirley.

[–]sivablue 14 points15 points ago

Roger. Request vector.

[–]angelfromthecoast 17 points18 points ago

We have clearance, Clarence.

[–]sivablue 10 points11 points ago

Bad news. The fog's getting thicker.

[–]angelfromthecoast 24 points25 points ago

And Leon's getting laaaarrrggerrrr!

[–]sivablue 10 points11 points ago

What kind of plane is it?

[–]angelfromthecoast 15 points16 points ago

Oh, it's a big pretty white plane with red stripes, curtains in the windows, and wheels and it looks like a big Tylenol!

[–]sivablue 12 points13 points ago

It's a damn good thing he doesn't know how much I hate his guts.

[–]angelfromthecoast 6 points7 points ago

It's a damn good thing you don't know how much he hates your guts.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]raynefairy 1 point2 points ago

What's your vector, Victor?

[–]motor_city_glamazon 1 point2 points ago

I believe the line is: "There's a sale at Penny's"

[–]funkymonk23 7 points8 points ago

line from the movie

[–]NewToBikes 0 points1 point ago

Ooh, I love that scene.

[–]RyGy2500 30 points31 points ago

I like my coffee the same way I like my women. Without a penis.

[–]Adonej 9 points10 points ago

I only drink coffee with a penis

[–]librlman 6 points7 points ago

...because mine doesn't detach.

[–]edtehgar 2 points3 points ago

king missile?

[–]coprolite_hobbyist 1 point2 points ago

Sounds like you have a drinking problem.

[–]Adonej 3 points4 points ago

It was at that moment that I Realised that Elaine had a problem with our relationship. And that, as much as anything else, led to my drinking problem.

[–]Crim91 0 points1 point ago

Like a straw?

[–]Adonej 0 points1 point ago

No. More like an ingredient.

[–]falser 1 point2 points ago

Joey, have you ever had sex with a Thai hooker?

[–]darkrystal 7 points8 points ago

"I developed a drinking problem."

I've been watching Airplane! Since I was a kid, and I only realized the gag on this about 5 years ago. It was probably my 60th time watching the movie.

[–]atcBW 3 points4 points ago

Thanks for being probably the only person in comments to spell the movie title correctly.

[–]drewtangclan 8 points9 points ago

chump don' want no help, chump don' get da help...jive ass dude ain't got no brains anyhow

[–]Pfundz 12 points13 points ago

Was I the only one who read "like my mom" ?

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]donquixote235 23 points24 points ago

A freudian slip is when you say one thing but you mean your mother.

[–]ThatGuy_Abu 3 points4 points ago

You deserve more recognition for this joke.

[–]theworldbystorm 2 points3 points ago

My dad says this all the time, it's been around.

[–]motivateyourself -1 points0 points ago

Well sucks for that man; you turned my up to a down vote.

[–]bglkce 6 points7 points ago

It's an entirely different kind of flying altogether

[–]ctrl_all_del 7 points8 points ago

IT'S AN ENTIRELY DIFFERENT KIND OF FLYING

[–]MEETHE_ELITE 5 points6 points ago

"Whats your vector, Victor"?

[–]Number127 7 points8 points ago

"Do you know what it's like to fall in the mud and get kicked in the head...with an iron boot? Of course you don't, no one does. It never happens. Sorry, Ted, that's a dumb question, skip that."

[–]Philpus 3 points4 points ago

I just want to tell you both. Good luck, and we're all counting on you.

[–]g2daizzle 1 point2 points ago

Is that Veruca Salt?

[–]sneekapeek 2 points3 points ago

Best movie ever, science proves it, and it's a spoof on a black and white movie from 1957 - "Zero Hour".

wiki youtube

[–]13Gracie14 2 points3 points ago

What movie is this and when was it made?

[–]Pachi2Sexy 6 points7 points ago

airplane

[–]13Gracie14 1 point2 points ago

thank you

[–]anti_queue 0 points1 point ago

In Australia it was "Flying High".

[–]elseppo 1 point2 points ago

in Germany it was "Die unglaubliche Reise in einem total verrückten Flugzeug".

[–]Alexanderh86 -1 points0 points ago

It's called "Soul Plane". Enjoy!

[–]NewToBikes 0 points1 point ago

The correct title is "Airplane!".

[–]Uncle_Gus 7 points8 points ago

I like my women like I like my coffee. Ground up and in the fridge.

[–]djak 2 points3 points ago

I got several laughs from reading the quotes in the comments. Best movie ever in life. Thanks OP and all commenters :)

[–]Picnicpanther 7 points8 points ago

This is from the rarely-known, underground cult classic "Airplane."

[–]Instantcretin -1 points0 points ago

Airplane!

Ftft

[–]elmoseviltwin 3 points4 points ago

It was because of this movie that I got a creepy (white) coworker to stop hitting on me. He asked me out for the umpteenth time after I had made it clear I wasn't interested. The conversation went as follows-

Me: "Ask me how I like my coffee."

Him: "Um..how do you like your coffee?"

Me: "Black. Ask me how I like my men."

He opened his mouth, went silent, and then walked away. Best part was 2 black coworkers saw the entire thing, and after laughing their asses off, the cute guy I had flirted with for a while came up and asked me out for coffee. Thanks Airplane.

[–]Canadian_Infidel 1 point2 points ago

That is a pretty classy way to let someone down actually:)

[–]IsaacLeibniz -1 points0 points ago

Gross.

[–]ratfink40 0 points1 point ago

Excuse me mam I speak jive

[–]ealv2c 1 point2 points ago

If I had a nickel for every time I saw this I reddit, I'd have several nickels.

[–]bphilly_cheesesteak 1 point2 points ago

"Sir, we've got a condition GREEN."

"His condition is not that bad!"

[–]d_spaceley1 -1 points0 points ago

ಠ_ಠ

[–]kaouah 1 point2 points ago

Cash Rules Everything Around Me.

[–]Snorkius 0 points1 point ago

Northern Irish Coffee: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ny-OHDcDB3Q#t=8m50s

[–]rebelpride 0 points1 point ago

Just watched this movie for the first time last week. Laughed my ass off at this part. Upvote for you, good sir.

[–]asmodeus86 0 points1 point ago

Would also have accepted: Strong and black

[–]herpaderp89 0 points1 point ago

Surely you can't be serious?

[–]NewToBikes 1 point2 points ago

I am, and don't call me Shirley.

[–]thatfookinschmuck 0 points1 point ago

get the money dolla dolla bill yall

[–]Floormonitor 0 points1 point ago

I use this line every time I order coffee, not one person gets the reference

[–]LinkBrokeMyPots -1 points0 points ago

came here to find all the people asking what movie this is - so I can stab them in the genitals.

[–]RaijinDragon -1 points0 points ago

A moment of silence for the late, great Leslie Nielsen...

[–]smiles134 -1 points0 points ago

This is one of my favorite movies.

[–]jacobdanny -1 points0 points ago

all hail the reposter.

[–]Persiankobra 0 points1 point ago

i missed those...

[–]BenAdaephonDelat 0 points1 point ago

So, we're just giving Karma to people who took clips of a movie and put the actual dialog from the move on the clips? Seriously people. OP is lazy and deserves nothing but ridicule.

[–]SubcommanderShran 4 points5 points ago

Dude... sssh... you'll get downvoted. Just wait a couple of days, find another scene and get karma!

[–]Ebenn 0 points1 point ago

You're just stealing from a film for fucks sake, why does this shit get upvoted?

[–]NewToBikes 0 points1 point ago

Because.

[–]TeamRoscoe -1 points0 points ago

muthafuckin airplane

[–]NewToBikes 0 points1 point ago

Aww yiss.

[–]farley3g -1 points0 points ago

i like my coffee like my women..... without a penis

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]arms_of_a_bear 4 points5 points ago

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0080339/

[–]PDerp 1 point2 points ago

This just made me feel unbearably old.

[–]twistedfish -1 points0 points ago

As a female who drinks black coffee, I hear this joke quite often

[–]Majil229 -2 points-1 points ago

Wow, way to fuck up the joke.

[–]mdbargo 0 points1 point ago

Aye a young Lisa Lampanelli

[–]Bubblecaster -1 points0 points ago

I think i'll watch Airplane tonight...

[–]rikashiku -1 points0 points ago

Repost?

No thank you, I like mine original. Like my men.

[–]e8ghtmileshigh -3 points-2 points ago

Anyone seeking more info might also check here:

title comnts points age /r/
Once you go black.. 0coms 9pts 2dys funny
Like my men. 192coms 1433pts 2mos funny
You filthy whore 1com 7pts 1mo funny
Wait, what? 2coms 3pts 2mos funny

source: karmadecay

[–]suckne123 -5 points-4 points ago

fucking repost

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]thejteam88 2 points3 points ago

what is this from? I've been dying to know the original dialogue.

[–]RobotDeelyBoppers 7 points8 points ago

That is the original dialogue. That's what makes the movie so great.

[–]Harba_Lorifa 6 points7 points ago

It's from Airplane!. The whole film is just one brilliant gag.

[–]phishf00d 2 points3 points ago

Seriously, go watch airplane now. NOW. DO IT! you must!

[–]thejteam88 1 point2 points ago

ahh ha, I feel dumb. I can honestly and unfortunately say I haven't seen it from beginning to end. :/

[–]Isunova 5 points6 points ago

No you don't. It's a movie.

[–]jlennerton -5 points-4 points ago

This was funny last century.

[–]Exaskryz 1 point2 points ago

It still is this century.