top 200 commentsshow all 377

[–]logically 973 points974 points ago

I had a non-traditional student, in freshman biology, who had minimal exposure to the world outside his own. He was from Denmark and his English was not very good. We turned in our textbook to a page where there was a sea turtle and I heard him yell, "what the fuck is that?". We all had a hardy laugh. The end.

[–]sack_of_twigs 456 points457 points ago

I think he needs to see this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L6kAE06mJAQ

[–]TheOpenChannel 64 points65 points ago

How did Sega get a red, flying, punching thing who covets emeralds from that?

[–]teachthecontroversy 56 points57 points ago

How did Sega get a blue, speedy, chili-dog eating thing who covets rings from a hedgehog?

[–]DearMrSupercomputer 49 points50 points ago

Japan

[–]Akumetsu33 28 points29 points ago

Shape-shifting raccoons with big balls that transforms in flying bombs and parachutes. Yep, Japan.

[–]snortwithcare 10 points11 points ago

Ahh the answer to many of life's mysteries

[–]howajambe 14 points15 points ago

Look at all Japanese stuff, and THEN ask "How"

[–]ShakeNBakey 9 points10 points ago

I usually ask, "WHY!?"

[–]Krail[!] 9 points10 points ago

He doesn't covet emeralds. It's his sworn duty to protect them.

[–]Hsn102198 94 points95 points ago

That is one ugly cat.

[–]Exposedo 44 points45 points ago

All cats are beautiful on the inside.

[–]duffdurfman 83 points84 points ago

... Have you met a cat?

[–]Exposedo 9 points10 points ago

I have three of them and they are all awesome D:

[–]Baeschteli 25 points26 points ago

On the inside?

[–]Exposedo 13 points14 points ago

Yes...

[–]jpark343 15 points16 points ago

You sick bastard. Colby sacrificed himself for nothing.

[–]Exposedo 13 points14 points ago

[–]drfingerbutts 52 points53 points ago

If you put it on the grill the right way.

[–]Glacial_Milk 16 points17 points ago

Is this a cat in the hat?

[–]indoordinosaur 2 points3 points ago

Nope. Its a tortoise in a shell.

[–]are595 110 points111 points ago

Thank you for this.

[–]JafBot 41 points42 points ago

eh-kide-nah?

[–]stevejobstranslator 6 points7 points ago

Relevant sound clip: http://audiour.com/srxy3koj

[–]glib 17 points18 points ago

I will always remember I don't have a ballsack under my chin. Thank you internet video.

[–]jutct 3 points4 points ago

Why have you been keeping that from me?

[–]ForwardsMan 14 points15 points ago

wow dude, The internet made me laugh for the first time in a while

[–]willed1234 4 points5 points ago

[–]skullk1d[!] 2 points3 points ago

Wasn't Knuckles an echa...echai...echidna? He never looked that weird. He was your average red walking, talking, robot killing echa...echai...echidna...

[–]Kela3000 2 points3 points ago

[–]Heq 42 points43 points ago

*hearty

[–]upvoteOrKittyGetsIt 19 points20 points ago

OP's comment gives me a major clue.

[–]brocahantas 1 point2 points ago

Oooo I'm getting a clue too

[–]HMS_Pathicus 9 points10 points ago

According to Scandinavia and the World, Danes don't have much contact with animals and are afraid of nature. At least if you compare them to Norwegians.

[–]Seithin 26 points27 points ago

As a Dane I am ashamed of this. But I still chuckled.

[–]HasFuckedYourMom 25 points26 points ago

As a Chihuahua, it was a little funny.

[–]TsarinaDott 10 points11 points ago

As a person who grew up in Denmark, I find such a thing nigh-unbelievable. Seriously, how is that possible?

[–]Nithel 2 points3 points ago

As a Dane, we send those kids away, remember?

[–]clebekki 3 points4 points ago

As a fellow nordic, I think the same way. Maybe he was from Finnmark instead of Denmark. (sorry Norway!)

[–]2TallJones69 324 points325 points ago

IS this the cat, in a hat?

[–]Droi 56 points57 points ago

I see you have learned the value of pauses in comedy NOT.

[–]always_an_allusion 28 points29 points ago

Pamela, I am no longer attracted to you anymore ... NOT

[–]shadow111 11 points12 points ago

This suit is NOT gray.

[–]I_Fuck_Whales 18 points19 points ago

This suit is blacknot.

[–]_it_was_me 105 points106 points ago

Its a tortoise, in a shell..

[–]toinfinitiandbeyond 35 points36 points ago

A hero in a half shell.

[–]jwitham2002 31 points32 points ago

Turtle Power!

[–]Overdue_bills 0 points1 point ago

Don't see why you're getting downvoted, I didn't get the reference until watching that.

[–]Oxxide 8 points9 points ago

SOME PEOPLE JUST CAN'T HANDLE THE HOT RHYMES

[–]redditalreddie 0 points1 point ago

Are you my mother?

[–]A_Suvorov 1 point2 points ago

Are you my mother?

[–]ugly_edith 130 points131 points ago

Something about Sacha Baron Cohen and animals is magical

[–]birdieputt 50 points51 points ago

Dr. George Washington, veteran veterinarian. Probably the best interview ever.

[–]JustAnotherImmigrant 12 points13 points ago

I love when Ali G says "wut" to he vet when he introduces himself as George Washington.

[–]Alianated 29 points30 points ago

Do you know what a farm is? Well it's like a rubbish zoo obviously

[–]chewp911 12 points13 points ago

What's he wearin' that for?!

[–]sperglord_manchild 8 points9 points ago

what about a hippototamus

[–]TheMightyDane 25 points26 points ago

That was very entertaining! I loved how the vet just gave up on him almost instantly.

[–]Zoroaster_ 19 points20 points ago

By the end, he's a broken man.

[–]murrtrip 16 points17 points ago

The 10 seconds of head shaking at the end are priceless.

[–]williamscastle 107 points108 points ago

sweet myspace link bro

[–]upvotethisplease 46 points47 points ago

Nice try Tom

[–]HeyFlo 14 points15 points ago

Shut your dirty mouth, Mark.

[–]brajx 7 points8 points ago

[–]zack10house 3 points4 points ago

I forgot about this show. Just ordered the complete series boxed-set. Thanks.

[–]thmz 194 points195 points ago

No movie has made me laugh more than Borat

[–]escaped_reddit 27 points28 points ago

Then you should watch Ali G Indahouse played by the same person.

[–]Streeb-Greebling 14 points15 points ago

Is it like Borat [and da Ali G show] where he interviews unsuspecting people, or is it a scripted movie like The Dictator?

[–]cI_-__-_Io 22 points23 points ago

The movie is like The Dictator. (and not that funny imho)

[–]bottom 23 points24 points ago

The movie is like The Dictator. (and not that funny imho)

the TV show is amazing though

[–]hrkljus1 2 points3 points ago

And/Or the Ali G Show.

[–]94H 3 points4 points ago

That movie was full of all kinds of ridiculousness

[–]StankyMung 27 points28 points ago

Or cringe.

[–]ArchangelleCarlSagan 6 points7 points ago

This. I rarely go to the movies but I saw this one four times in theaters

[–]prmaster23 11 points12 points ago

Watching Borat in theaters was an experience like no other. I am a comedy lover and I can truly say that was one of the few movies in my life in which I knew every single person at the movie was hurting from all the laughing.

[–]Deaf_Mute 33 points34 points ago

Shortly after I moved to Colorado, I was driving through Estes Park and saw the biggest fucking deer. I commented to a co-worker that it looked like a deer got fucked by a cow!

It was an elk.

[–]plaid_lad 4 points5 points ago

When my ex first moved up here, she saw some ravens making short work of a bit of roadkill, and exclaimed "Holy shit, those are some BIG FUCKING CROWS!"

[–]dats_just_gr8 65 points66 points ago

Dog is very nice

[–]Knightbre 33 points34 points ago

To make romance inside of.

[–]Zonak 37 points38 points ago

sigh
Colby 2012

[–]OvaryActingJesus 11 points12 points ago

EVERY. THREAD.

[–]pseudolobster 48 points49 points ago

You make up these questions, Mr. Holden, or do they write 'em down for you?

[–]lisabadcat 41 points42 points ago

The tortoise lays on its back, its belly baking in the hot sun, beating its legs trying to turn itself over, but it can't. Not without your help. But you're not helping.

[–]danrennt98 17 points18 points ago

well, that's purty

[–]ComplainsAboutDvotes 10 points11 points ago

Loaded slowly. Thought it was going to be those massive Blade Runner pyramids.

[–]cC2Panda 1 point2 points ago

Nice try lisabadcat, I'm not failing the The Voight-Kampff test again!

[–]caspissinclair 2 points3 points ago

Describe in single words only the good things that come into your mind about... your mother.

[–]Teddyholden 3 points4 points ago

I have not asked you a single question.

[–]MrFinchley 14 points15 points ago

Last summer at the zoo I overheard someone say, "Wow! All these squirrels must have gotten loose."

[–]WhatEvery1sThinking 45 points46 points ago

maybe if you also grew up never: reading a book, using a computer, watching TV, or going to school

[–]poktanju 61 points62 points ago

So, Borat then.

[–]Different_Boner 7 points8 points ago

City or not, the saddest thing about this is that you clearly didn't get Zoobooks!

[–]Skoolz 61 points62 points ago

Still one of the greatest comedies ever conceived. I wish he was able to produce more entertainment like this instead of the Bruno and The Dictator abortions.

[–]linlorienelen 55 points56 points ago

Bruno was great. It was also the only movie I've been to where people actually left.

[–]YMCAle 55 points56 points ago

I had to go see it with my dad. Despite my protests and insisting that he probably wouldn't enjoy it, he was determined to watch it as he had seen it advertised on the telly. Most awkward 2 hours of my life, when the cock wiggling came on I wanted to sink into the floor.

[–]noobprodigy 25 points26 points ago

I saw a pregnant lady walk out of Freddy Got Fingered. During the birth scene...

[–]zack10house 15 points16 points ago

Freddy Got Fingered is easily the worst film I've ever had the displeasure of sitting through. It's the least funny comedy I've ever seen, and it is completely devoid of any semblance of a plot.

I realize that was, at best, only tangentially related to your post, but fuck that movie.

[–]Ozzertron 25 points26 points ago

Well, obviously you never watched it at age 13. Shit was comedy gold.

[–]zack10house 4 points5 points ago

True, I saw it for the first time earlier this year (I'm 20). The person who showed it to me had also just seen it, and thought it was the funniest shit ever. Different strokes, I suppose.

[–]successful_brown_man 18 points19 points ago

Daddy would you like some sausage

[–]tinned_peaches 4 points5 points ago

Backwards man the backwards man

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]BeefyStevey 6 points7 points ago

I actually really liked Bruno. The Harrison Ford interview scene is funnier than anything in Borat.

[–]samort7 16 points17 points ago

I never saw Borat, but I saw the Dictator. Thought it was pretty hilarious.

[–]LarryTheSatelliteGuy 46 points47 points ago

I also liked Dictator, but Borat is waaaayy better. You would most likely enjoy Borat...go watch it!

[–]torontos_finest 8 points9 points ago

The Aladeen thing made the movie for me.

(His name is Aladeen in the movie, so hopefully this won't be much of a spoiler to anyone that hasn't seen it.)

[–]zack10house 11 points12 points ago

See Borat

[–]chewp911 4 points5 points ago

If you even slightly liked the Dictator, you will love Borat.

[–]purrreow 18 points19 points ago

Borat is the reason I couldn't take les miserables seriously

[–]zack10house 12 points13 points ago

Why's that? He's been in serious roles before. Hell, he's actually slated to play Freddie Mercury in a biopic in the near future.

[–]billiarddaddy 14 points15 points ago

I had to show my wife some clips from this to explain my reaction when I saw him in Les Miserables.

[–]jappleseed12 14 points15 points ago

Few people realize he's actually a good singer. He was Pirelli in Sweeney Todd. Your reaction is understandable.

[–]billiarddaddy 4 points5 points ago

I haven't seen Sweeney Todd. I'll have to check that out. I kept telling my wife he's actually quite talented but it was a hard sell. ;)

[–]zack10house 4 points5 points ago

Sweeney Todd is phenomenal

[–]jappleseed12 2 points3 points ago

I highly recommend. The movie is just as good as the stage production.

[–]Dumpin 16 points17 points ago

It still amazes me how Sacha can always keep a straight face...

[–]JustAnotherImmigrant 8 points9 points ago

Truly a master of his art. I can't believe he can keep a straight face in so many scenes, specially sexual ones.

[–]jawnofthedead 4 points5 points ago

The best zoos are in cities.

[–]simplelogic2 2 points3 points ago

As it turns out we have very few giant turtles in the suburbs... your problem may stem from elsewhere

[–]sivablue 7 points8 points ago

Remember when every douche bag was walking around saying, 'That's Nice!!!'. Or better yet, 'WASSSSSUP!!!!'. I think I am going to try and bring those both back at my New Year's Eve party.

[–]tenniswritercoug 2 points3 points ago

I met a guy who had never left the city before (in twenty years of life, he had never left the Portland Metro Area). I told him how in my hometown, people are outnumbered by cows two to one. He stared at me, completely serious, and asked if we rode our cows like horses.

I had no words for this.

[–]Spirit31 2 points3 points ago

Every major city I've been to has a zoo.

[–]CB05201 6 points7 points ago

It's a cat in a hat? No it's a tortoise, in a shell...

[–]zack803 7 points8 points ago

You poor, sheltered child. I really feel sorry for you

[–]JakeyG14 0 points1 point ago

There are not wild lions and tigers roaming the countryside. You are just uneducated in zoology.

[–]Tigerzombie 2 points3 points ago

The first time we took our daughter to the zoo every moving animal was a cat. We have a cat, so if it is fluffy and moving, it's a cat. She was 1yr old at the time.

[–]kiqrgwe 2 points3 points ago

[–]criminolelawyer 5 points6 points ago

If your city doesn't have a zoo it most likely isn't a real city.

[–]stomata_sauce 3 points4 points ago

But we don't get giant tortoises in the country either.

[–]Ozymandias88 0 points1 point ago

I don't understand how growing up in the city is an excuse for not knowing animals in a zoo.

[–]danrennt98 5 points6 points ago

I miss this guy

[–]Matthew94 2 points3 points ago

fo reels

[–]ChickenMouth 1 point2 points ago

he recently made his first appearance in 10 years

[–]martinpolak 3 points4 points ago

How does living in a city affect your knowledge of nature?

I grew up and live in a city too and they teach you stuff like animals in school afaik

[–]poopenhaben 2 points3 points ago

So, are you saying that growing up in a city made you retarded?

[–]thediscobison 0 points1 point ago

I grew up in a city and never really got to see any animals. While I knew what things were from TV, when I moved to a smaller town in the Midwest and saw all the squirrels, I felt like I was living in a forest.

[–]sambob 1 point2 points ago

I thought it was Clarkson at first glance.

[–]poktanju 3 points4 points ago

Not that unbelievable.

I've got a cauliflower for if a vegetarian comes.

[–]GeneraIDisarray 1 point2 points ago

I grew up, and still live in a city, since when is that an excuse to not educate yourself and be a complete tool?

[–]Meitnerium_109 1 point2 points ago

What kind of tortoise is this?

[–]Caleb666 11 points12 points ago

That's cheese.

[–]BrianSnow 1 point2 points ago

This makes no fucking sense. First, most zoos are in cities. Second, the animals in zoos aren't the types of animals you see when you live in the suburbs or the country.

[–]pricklypete 1 point2 points ago

Every time I go to the zoo: http://i.imgur.com/Cv2Xu.jpg

[–]Ftwpkerz 1 point2 points ago

Here's the clip

[–]Wrinkled_Time 1 point2 points ago

Haha. The guy on the right is the breeder we got our Siberian Cats from.

[–]Ozzertron -1 points0 points ago

What is this, a snake? I don't know.

[–]Cloakedboltz 0 points1 point ago

I love tortoises, just a little notch above cats.

[–]CthulhuCompanionCube 0 points1 point ago

Last time I went to the zoo I overheard a couple of guys asking if a patch of bamboo was corn. Fuckers on the east coast don't have any idea where their food comes from.

[–]jel476 0 points1 point ago

is this a cat in a hat?

[–]surely-delivered 0 points1 point ago

My boy had me "MILKIN" the pigs my last trip to the farm?

[–]sorin255 0 points1 point ago

[–]mgsenkp 1 point2 points ago

Growing up in a city, this is me every time I visit a farm. FTFY

[–]Meme_Gusta 0 points1 point ago

"You mean man who shove rubber fist up my anus is homosexual??"

[–]loljustlol 0 points1 point ago

Maybe you are just stupid

[–]Yes__This_Is_Dog 1 point2 points ago

Do this have a pussy magnet?

[–]oddlie 1 point2 points ago

I had a friend who, at age 13 had never seen a live cow. I lived out in the country, and he came to visit once. He just about broke his neck trying to look at one when we passed it in the road. "That's where burgers come from!"

[–]kauert -1 points0 points ago

Oh come on, I knew that from watching Ninja Turtles!

[–]ale81 0 points1 point ago

Is this a 'cat in a hat'?

[–]brodybrantford 0 points1 point ago

"Is this a cat in a hat?"....."No it's a tortoise, in a shell"

[–]Jakerop 0 points1 point ago

you would think you'd learn a thing or two after the first three visits...

[–]Piper-pipes 1 point2 points ago

Are you some kind idiot who has never read a book or watched tv?

[–]Damnyoutrolls 0 points1 point ago

I grew up across the street from the zoo, in NYC. Funny huh? Try being there when it rains, the animal dung evaporates and fills the city with it's perfume.

[–]doom1234 0 points1 point ago

Something about Sacha Baron Cohen and animals is magical

[–]MochiMochiMochi 0 points1 point ago

I grew up next to a zoo. Every day at the outdoor Ring Tailed Lemur exhibit I would hear "Lookit them funny raccoons" and then at the Eland exhibit, "Lookit that funny elk." No amount of signage or guides could dissuade people from telling their kids about the funny raccoons or elk.

[–]Ackables 0 points1 point ago

I live in San Diego so nananabooboo my zoo is better than yours

[–]Fireskos 0 points1 point ago

As someone who works at a zoo, I prefer visitors who actually ask what an animal is rather than insisting our turkey vultures are "eagles"

[–]R3volte 0 points1 point ago

Is this a cat in a hat?

[–]Ryandoe11 0 points1 point ago

This is just sad

[–]perseusveil 0 points1 point ago

That might have less to do with you being from a city and possibly more with you not having a sense of curiosity about the world around you.

[–]Meatball_Sandwich 0 points1 point ago

Zoo's are depressing as fuuuuuuuck.

[–]fearrwolf 0 points1 point ago

So we should start working on finding ways to entice Adrian Peterson to join us...

[–]WHISTLEDINGER 1 point2 points ago

So did the city make you stupid? Or are you just a dumbass living in the city?

[–]apollo84 0 points1 point ago

no it's not.

[–]katodriver 0 points1 point ago

maybe unrelated but this is my new tortoise pet

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BTeCEUYozBM

[–]elstongunn32 1 point2 points ago

I grew up in a suburb, we had squirrels and dogs running around. I still know what the different animals are at a zoo, ya fucking tard.

[–]Judge_Hate 0 points1 point ago

So what your telling us is you're a ratard.

[–]deeznutz12 0 points1 point ago

That guy could never top Borat.

Edit: Sacha Baron Cohen

[–]daltontogreen 0 points1 point ago

Ran a barefoot half marathon at a sub 7 pace!

[–]isozy 0 points1 point ago

Really? Because you're from the city you can't destinguish animal species?

[–]patkeenan -1 points0 points ago

"Have it executed"

[–]rayz0101 0 points1 point ago

Title should read, "Growing up ignorant, this is me every time I visit the zoo."