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My girlfriend promised to let me do anything I want in bed if I reach front page (imgur.com)

submitted ago by sameasreddit

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[–]deadmau5312 309 points310 points ago

My gf lets me do what ever I want in bed... cause I ask

[–]conrad_w 109 points110 points ago

Talking to your girlfriend. Pretty bold but I hear it gets good results. I ought to talk to my girlfriend about it, but she won't try anything in bed unless I get to the front page.

[–]Jrodkin 44 points45 points ago

I'd talk to my girlfriend more often...

...If she existed.

Edit: http://emotibot.net/pix/1627.png

[–]poo-poo 27 points28 points ago

Anal is always a no.

[–]GraceFace04 16 points17 points ago

Sorry to hear you have trouble on the anal front, poo-poo.

[–]Buttraper 10 points11 points ago

I can confirm this

[–]nvrblnk 11 points12 points ago

Just make it a surprise.

[–]theonlyalterego 3 points4 points ago

no p in the b.

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    [–]AnonyKron 3 points4 points ago

    Well, it is cheaper than dinner and roses. :-)

    [–]Vinom 1 point2 points ago

    I even tried kissing my girlfriend in public a few times, but people kept asking me why I was making out with my hand.

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      [–]JakeTheSage 8 points9 points ago

      Your girlfriend lets me do whatever I want in bed too. She's nice like that.

      [–]flamants 5 points6 points ago

      and if she says no, it's because she doesn't want to, and even if it does get you a bunch of imaginary internet points, making her feel obligated to do it is pretty scumbaggish.

      [–]Ryuklovesapples 4 points5 points ago

      I also have a Good Girl Gina Girlfriend AMA

      [–]Brohann 5 points6 points ago

      So brave

      [–]KookyGuy 0 points1 point ago

      That's too simple to actually work.

      [–]Ceejae -1 points0 points ago

      Are you seriously implying that all it takes to make any female more sexually deviant is to ask?

      [–]Stenen -1 points0 points ago

      yeah, same here, your girlfriend is a sex-bomb!

      [–]savethefreaks 0 points1 point ago

      So does my GF, on occasion, she'll even let me eat dinner in bed.

      [–]onelove1969 0 points1 point ago

      You can thank me for that.

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        [–]SensibleMadness 314 points315 points ago

        You can do anything you want in bed, but she won't be there.

        [–]JewBoySandler 72 points73 points ago

        Hey! His right hand will surely be attached to his body, no need to worry.

        [–]BrodyApproves 43 points44 points ago

        Unless he's a pirate with a hook.

        [–]dylguy94 44 points45 points ago

        Twist: OP is the girlfriend.

        [–]MrTyphoon 31 points32 points ago

        Twist: and shout.

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          [–]IISpadezII 3 points4 points ago

          Plot Twist He's a Hook with a Pirate

          [–]wafflecopters 0 points1 point ago

          Most people have to pay for hookers! (I'll show myself out)

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            [–]flutterarity 5 points6 points ago

            Hey, so...have you gotten married since the last time you were asked?

            [–]JewBoySandler 3 points4 points ago

            Believe or not, no.

            [–]flutterarity 3 points4 points ago

            sigh

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              [–]Gallifreyan_Username 1 point2 points ago

              Your username, sir/madam.

              [–]duckman273 5 points6 points ago

              I don't think you can make fun of people when reddit knows you can't get a girlfriend.

              [–][deleted] ago

              [deleted]

              [–]Satherton 0 points1 point ago

              hey dont forget about the left handed fappers!

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                [–]asiansteev 9 points10 points ago

                op's victory

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                  [–]yoreatowel 126 points127 points ago

                  My only thought.

                  [–]ImaPiratelol 27 points28 points ago

                  My thought:

                  Fake points are worth so much that I would be willing to not help this man out.

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                    [–]vveksuvarna 82 points83 points ago

                    /r/karmaconspiracy would like to have a word with you.

                    [–]blackmarketdolphins 14 points15 points ago

                    Pretty sure this is a blatant reddtiquette offense.

                    [–]fractalife 6 points7 points ago

                    The comment or the post?

                    [–]blackmarketdolphins 3 points4 points ago

                    The post

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                      [–]turbie 185 points186 points ago

                      This is sad

                      [–]sebbenforte 136 points137 points ago

                      Just imagine if it's legit and he doesn't use the opportunity to pee in her butt. Now THAT would be sad. That would be a travesty.

                      [–]Mikxuuz 38 points39 points ago

                      Or stick a breadstick in her vagina. Classic.

                      [–]achshar 5 points6 points ago

                      captainReferenceAmeria.gif.

                      [–]dick_less 5 points6 points ago

                      Or uncooked spaghetti to measure how deep it can go?

                      [–]DumbFuckingUsername 0 points1 point ago

                      Always a classy choice.

                      [–]Lurch185 0 points1 point ago

                      http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ly837mhSaW1qckgy7.png

                      [–]das_ginger 1 point2 points ago

                      or giver her the boston field goal

                      [–]turbie 1 point2 points ago

                      Why would someone want to pee in someone's butt?

                      [–]JewBoySandler 2 points3 points ago

                      ಠ_ಠ

                      [–]fartloud 0 points1 point ago

                      fart in her mouth :|

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                        [–]Benny_the_Jew 2 points3 points ago

                        You're thinking gangbang too huh? Kids grow up so quickly these days.

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                          [–]DarthBoner 16 points17 points ago

                          You base your relationship boundaries off of reddit success? Dafuq kind of relationship is that

                          [–]jhunte29 49 points50 points ago

                          karma whore

                          [–]qball8001 32 points33 points ago

                          Literally a Karma Whore. I used literally correctly!!!

                          [–]NinjaThing 2 points3 points ago

                          karma sutra.

                          [–]MilkIsABadChoice 62 points63 points ago

                          Weak.

                          [–]sodommight 41 points42 points ago

                          Your right hand sounds awful demanding

                          [–]jyosef 14 points15 points ago

                          HA! Jokes on you. It's his left.

                          [–]dazedndconfuzed 39 points40 points ago

                          I have down voted this in an attempt at e-cockblocking.

                          [–]The4mccoys 4 points5 points ago

                          doesn't look like it's working....

                          [–]raffytraffy 83 points84 points ago

                          fuck off.

                          [–]ZeroDivided714 154 points155 points ago

                          So, you're literally a Karma whore. Here's an upvote.

                          [–]Schroedingers_gif 104 points105 points ago

                          His girlfriend is some sort of karma pimp. I can respect that.

                          [–]Madworldz 8 points9 points ago

                          Yeah, I could get behind that.

                          [–]lsdforme 4 points5 points ago

                          I could be a karma pimp. Accepting all karma whores.

                          [–]JewBoySandler 11 points12 points ago

                          Hey ;)

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                                [–]FBM2012 26 points27 points ago

                                She lied. Downvote.

                                [–]ImNotJesus 23 points24 points ago

                                Nothing ever didn't happen as much as this didn't happen.

                                [–]TheFatGuyStrangler 14 points15 points ago

                                Shit like this is just stupid.

                                [–]zimbabwe7878 25 points26 points ago

                                Pee in her butt dude. Literally.

                                [–]qtip83 26 points27 points ago

                                as opposed to metephorically peeing in her butt

                                [–]MetaphoricallyHitler 7 points8 points ago

                                It's all the same, man, it's all the same.

                                [–]shma_ 7 points8 points ago

                                Metaphorically? That's just sick.

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                                  [–]DragonTycoon 5 points6 points ago

                                  How did this get 1000+ up votes in an hour? Are people really this gullible or are there more 13 year olds on Reddit than I thought?

                                  [–]AlbinoNick 3 points4 points ago

                                  Oh so it's another one of these posts.... http://i.imgur.com/8gWjo.png?1

                                  [–]CouchLint 3 points4 points ago

                                  Pics or it didn't happen.

                                  [–]seethruyou 2 points3 points ago

                                  Downvote. Cock block. Huzzah!

                                  [–]brandorobot 4 points5 points ago

                                  Plot twist. OP doesn't have a girlfriend.

                                  [–]SamEZ 1 point2 points ago

                                  Pics or it didn't happen!

                                  [–]jgay4Audis 1 point2 points ago

                                  Have an upvote. Godspeed my friend.

                                  [–]fucommant 2 points3 points ago

                                  so what are you gonna do?

                                  i vote straight to the butthole, no warm up in the pussy.

                                  [–]sebsie 7 points8 points ago

                                  nice ploy...

                                  [–]defgames 5 points6 points ago

                                  Cock blocked by reddit. Ouch...

                                  [–]Charwinger21 3 points4 points ago

                                  It made the front page.

                                  [–]Early-Cuyler 5 points6 points ago

                                  Downvoted out of spite. That's just how I roll.

                                  [–]subiza 4 points5 points ago

                                  Downvote, downvote to hell.

                                  [–]shamrock8421 5 points6 points ago

                                  MAKE A PILLOW FORT

                                  [–]MaisNahMaisNah 6 points7 points ago

                                  Your right hand doesn't give a shit about your karma

                                  [–]pvt_reyes 0 points1 point ago

                                  OP DELIVER

                                  [–]Mk2Guru 0 points1 point ago

                                  Let us know what you have her do; you are on the front page.

                                  [–]SolarTsunami 2 points3 points ago

                                  Shut the fuck up.

                                  [–]OptiMousePrimo 2 points3 points ago

                                  literally karma whore

                                  [–]AndersonVarejao 2 points3 points ago

                                  Yeah... I don't really care.

                                  [–]Time4fun22 2 points3 points ago

                                  Why did this even make it up here?

                                  [–]SofaProfessor 0 points1 point ago

                                  What do you think you'll do? Personally, I would eat a bucket of fried chicken and some ice cream. My gf never let's me eat in bed.

                                  [–]bereece 2 points3 points ago

                                  You should really just go fuck yourself

                                  [–]FoldsUnderPressure 1 point2 points ago

                                  What if he wants to murder her in bed? Does that make everyone who upvoted an accomplice?

                                  [–]mooglesama 6 points7 points ago

                                  So, your sex life is contingent upon reddit?

                                  I'm sorry.

                                  [–]RalarenOTC 2 points3 points ago

                                  No she didnt.

                                  [–]Apterygiformes 2 points3 points ago

                                  You just gave /r/circlejerk a week's worth of material.

                                  [–]yglm2 8 points9 points ago

                                  This is fucking pathetic. You should feel bad.

                                  [–]Ryuklovesapples 3 points4 points ago

                                  This man is our brethren, karma whore or not to deny him an upvote is to block his cock! Do the right thing.

                                  [–]IM_Swooptech 2 points3 points ago

                                  I vote for eating a nice meat and cheese platter. Delicious.

                                  [–]AdrianisAwesome 3 points4 points ago

                                  Spite downvote.

                                  [–]Danny_Bomber 3 points4 points ago

                                  So, does she sleep with everyone on the front page?

                                  [–]No-bats 3 points4 points ago

                                  God speed

                                  [–]sqrt-1loveyou 3 points4 points ago

                                  Please, shut the fuck up and stop posting trash like this.

                                  [–]chakrablocker 2 points3 points ago

                                  This is advice animals, did you expect to have a philosophical debate?

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                                    [–]wealthyelf 0 points1 point ago

                                    plot twist, he doesn't have a girlfriend

                                    [–]LadySandry 2 points3 points ago

                                    Assuming this is true, do we get to decide what you do?

                                    [–]microgrownup 1 point2 points ago

                                    Butt. Sechs!!!!

                                    [–]Leono9 4 points5 points ago

                                    Here is an upvote, go for anal.

                                    [–]antiestablishment 1 point2 points ago

                                    the faggotry that killed reddit

                                    [–]Berwickmex 1 point2 points ago

                                    Likely story.

                                    [–]Irrelevant_User 1 point2 points ago

                                    Anal time!

                                    [–]arjuous -1 points0 points ago

                                    How long has your hand been at to talk?

                                    [–]kikisaurus -1 points0 points ago

                                    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SmHeP9Sve48

                                    [–]losnow20 -1 points0 points ago

                                    although only subscribe to one subreddit and you will easily make it to the frontpage

                                    [–]deflector_shield -1 points0 points ago

                                    Looks like the moderators gave you a lift.

                                    [–]Koyoteelaughter -1 points0 points ago

                                    have an upvote...now...go eat cookies in bed.

                                    [–]Calientecarlos 0 points1 point ago

                                    eat cookies

                                    [–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

                                    My girlfriend..she...if I had one...she would...WHATEVER.

                                    [–]biggityj 0 points1 point ago

                                    Protip: unsubscribe everything except Advice Animals.

                                    [–]supahdavid2000 0 points1 point ago

                                    so what is it your going to pick?

                                    [–]Stixmix 0 points1 point ago

                                    Two chicks at the same time?

                                    [–]sameyeam2 0 points1 point ago

                                    my girlfriend said she didnt want to have sex and if i wanted to then i would have to rape her.....were not together anymore

                                    [–]shoobz 0 points1 point ago

                                    That's a lot of upvotes in an hour.

                                    [–]russianpunkin 0 points1 point ago

                                    What do you plan on doing ?? A lama perhaps ??

                                    [–]neverpullout 0 points1 point ago

                                    I think your girlfriend just really wants to try anal, but doesn't know how to ask you to stick it in her poop chute.

                                    [–]Ripp3r -1 points0 points ago

                                    can we all just agree that op will take pictures of the girl for gw now?

                                    [–]Countryb0y22 1 point2 points ago

                                    Karma whore. Oh fuck it, I laughed anyway. Have an upvote.

                                    [–]schocko777 0 points1 point ago

                                    I think it almost time to let her know she needs to call one of her girlfriends!

                                    [–]miller59030 0 points1 point ago

                                    Some one is getting laid...

                                    [–]Queef_Sampler 1 point2 points ago

                                    Fuck yeah- blanket hogging time!

                                    [–]smawwww 0 points1 point ago

                                    On behalf of single men everywhere...downvote

                                    [–]TruthHurtsBrah -1 points0 points ago

                                    Fuck off karma whore.

                                    [–]bigbadbush -1 points0 points ago

                                    Upvote for you because my gf always makes me rub lotion on her before we can do anything...and when I say gf I mean my hand

                                    [–]MRatedUK 0 points1 point ago

                                    she wont be walking right for a while!

                                    [–]JakeTheSage 0 points1 point ago

                                    Front page before the dot in the middle is even gone.

                                    GG Reddit. GG.

                                    [–]WideLight 1 point2 points ago

                                    Make her play D&D with you and 4 of your friends. In your bed.

                                    [–]Mikfoz 0 points1 point ago

                                    You are a fool. When a woman says," You can do anything to me," it usually means," You can do whatever I like to me."

                                    [–]volundur 0 points1 point ago

                                    If someone is wondering about where this cat is from than here you go: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nQB9d-MMIx0

                                    [–]c0ntusion 0 points1 point ago

                                    Pathetic.

                                    [–]MilshAndSquilsh99 0 points1 point ago

                                    OP must deliver... with video...

                                    [–]RahadJackson 0 points1 point ago

                                    This is weird as hell.

                                    [–]kisakiryu 0 points1 point ago

                                    now you can eat in bed!

                                    [–]zephyrnovae 1 point2 points ago

                                    God speed OP. My upvotes are with you.

                                    [–]row4land 0 points1 point ago

                                    If we are all doing are part to get on the front page we should all have the same reward. I go first.

                                    [–]henbenley 0 points1 point ago

                                    and what is it that you will be doing?

                                    [–]chakada92 1 point2 points ago

                                    fake and gay

                                    [–]iareziga 0 points1 point ago

                                    Enjoy it, OP.

                                    [–]Jackiedees 0 points1 point ago

                                    OP WILL deliver..

                                    [–]shtaffa 0 points1 point ago

                                    Have sex with her best (girl) friend.

                                    [–]glyphlilirin -1 points0 points ago

                                    This is pretty clearly against the spirit one of reddit's few rules:

                                    Not OK: Creating submissions that start with "For every upvote I will ______," regardless of cause.

                                    [–]ryana8 0 points1 point ago

                                    Anal orgy

                                    [–]tophasaurusrex 1 point2 points ago

                                    Some I w is getting some purple butthole anal sex!

                                    [–]makinganotheraccount -1 points0 points ago

                                    Begone, karmawhore

                                    [–]chriszzz -1 points0 points ago

                                    Never seen a more obvious karma whoring faggot in my life. Please kill yourself.

                                    [–]METH_OD_MAN 0 points1 point ago

                                    Is it really this easy to get upvotes?

                                    I just lie and say I have a girlfriend?

                                    [–]BebopRocksteady82 0 points1 point ago

                                    ANAL!!!!!!!!!!

                                    [–]Pokemon_Name_Rater 0 points1 point ago

                                    Oh man eat some crumbly cookies without a plate or napkin or anything. Let the crumbs go everywhere.

                                    [–]redditchao999 0 points1 point ago

                                    Reddit: Coming together to help some guy have sex with his girlfriend.

                                    [–]lordtask 0 points1 point ago

                                    Upvote, simply because I want to believe you're not a karma-whore....but I'm probably wrong.

                                    [–]Sengura 0 points1 point ago

                                    Looks like your left hand is going to some kinky stuff tonight.

                                    [–]Glenntertain 0 points1 point ago

                                    Stick it in her pooper.

                                    [–]Appare 0 points1 point ago

                                    I can't believe people upvote this shit.

                                    [–]Ozzertron 0 points1 point ago

                                    Plot twist: OP will use this just to eat some cookies in the bed.

                                    [–]I_AM_Achilles 0 points1 point ago

                                    Imaginary points are worth creating a fictional girlfriend over....

                                    [–]Phoenixad72 0 points1 point ago

                                    Finally...alchemy in the bedroom.

                                    [–]BACK_BURNER -1 points0 points ago

                                    How is this on the frontpage with 0 votes?

                                    [–]chewbacapubes 0 points1 point ago

                                    Bullfuckingshit

                                    [–]Everything_Is_Irie 0 points1 point ago

                                    Well done karma whore! Now you can be virgin friends with trapped_in_reddit.

                                    [–]Beartoes1 0 points1 point ago

                                    Fuck well, my friend

                                    [–]artacuno53 0 points1 point ago

                                    Your account history makes me suspicious

                                    [–]HeSaidSarcastically 0 points1 point ago

                                    I have imagined a couple that are actually both redditors, and I don't like it. My girl owns pinterest and I Reddit... to make sure things like this don't happen. This is a total Relationship Circle Jerk.

                                    [–]Arisngr 0 points1 point ago

                                    so.... how'd it go?

                                    [–]Tumite 0 points1 point ago

                                    You lucky son of a bitch

                                    You have a girlfriend

                                    [–]fortyfootbeachtowel 0 points1 point ago

                                    Dear OP, Have an upvote. Good luck. yours truly, a fucking wingman.

                                    [–]sameasreddit[S] -1 points0 points ago

                                    Turns out I didn't even need to reach front page and she would've let me done anything anyway. But thanks for being good wingmen reddit!

                                    P.S. It was pretty great. But sometimes its better to keep your fantasies, your fantasies. It got messy.

                                    [–]samael37 0 points1 point ago

                                    Upvoted. Godspeed brother

                                    [–]ruttinator 0 points1 point ago

                                    Touch her boob!

                                    [–]roulette6 0 points1 point ago

                                    Yeah, so, you have to tell us whether she keeps her word, and how far you let your imagination take you.

                                    [–]BreRoz 0 points1 point ago

                                    Since we all upvoted you, you have to tell us what you choose.

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