top 200 commentsshow all 470

[–]zephyrdragoon 802 points803 points ago

Burning that kid alive is a necessary sacrifice.

[–]teethbeef 225 points226 points ago

This option is most acceptable.

[–]ZombiePilot15 163 points164 points ago

Not an option, a requirement.

[–]SQUID_FUCKER 127 points128 points ago

Let's nuke them from orbit just to be safe.

[–]Finn__The__Human 82 points83 points ago

It's the only way to be sure.

[–]A7X4REVer 1 point2 points ago

Jake can stretch himself into an orbital elevator for us!

[–]Fuzz_gun 21 points22 points ago

I fully agree.

[–]duhellmang 10 points11 points ago

definitely from it's always sunny

[–]Fucks_Quotes_Up 84 points85 points ago

Burning that kid alive is a necessary sacrifice.

-David Koresh

[–]zephyrdragoon 25 points26 points ago

Was confused until I saw that relevant username.

Then I saw that that username has existed for zero days.

[–]Fucks_Quotes_Up 66 points67 points ago

Gotta start somewhere

[–]Pauljb3 43 points44 points ago

You forgot to quote this. You failed already.

[–]Fucks_Quotes_Up 129 points130 points ago

Sorry about that, I tend to forget.

-Ronald Reagan

[–]Scientific_Anarchist 36 points37 points ago

That made up for it. Good show.

[–]BlackSnakeMoans 9 points10 points ago

I feel like that quote is a little too accurate.

[–]daieinon 19 points20 points ago

But by not naming who the quote is for, doesn't he fuck up the quote?

[–]Diplominator 18 points19 points ago

-Michael Scott

[–]ClintonHarvey 63 points64 points ago

There's a kid on my bug

[–]listofdemands 1 point2 points ago

What's the problem? That's just your standard house fly here in Australia...

[–]Lophostrix 36 points37 points ago

Well, now we know what was under the bowl.

[–]Vidalio 335 points336 points ago

That awkward moment where your kid becomes expendable

[–]Knightbre 28 points29 points ago

Too late. I can see that insect already has him under mind control. By morning, that boy will be eating leaves and terrifying the fuck out of us.

[–]TimesHero 18 points19 points ago

[–]RebelinNeedofCause 146 points147 points ago

Well that's an uncomfortable amount of nope.

[–]randomsnark 39 points40 points ago

At least it wasn't the spider link guy

[–]jelect 6 points7 points ago

I kinda wish it was, ya know?

[–]Spr09 2 points3 points ago

Clean your eyes r/aww

[–]VslachaTurbo Sloth 11 points12 points ago

This thread has more nope than the r/wtf frontpage. Not saying that's a lot of nope, just sayin'.

[–]chronox21 98 points99 points ago

DO NOT CLICK!

You've been warned.

[–]jelect 11 points12 points ago

Damn. I wish your comment would have been higher up. I REALLY wish this comment would have been higher up. If I could give you more karma I really would. Gah.

[–]themettaur 94 points95 points ago

What kind of bug is this?

[–]hepalopala 128 points129 points ago

[–]confusing_username 182 points183 points ago

surprise, surprise it's from Australia

[–]JARL_OF_DETROIT 38 points39 points ago

came to the comments expecting Australia...was not disappointing.

[–]redgroupclan 20 points21 points ago

Saw picture, thought "Australia". So predictable.

[–]Applejeans 109 points110 points ago

Fucking Australia...

[–]Thyrotoxic 128 points129 points ago

The Goliath stick insect (Eurycnema goliath) is the second largest stick insect (after the Titan stick insect) in Australia

Well fuck that.

[–]ipvpirl 50 points51 points ago

Longest here. Can get up to 1 foot long. And the males can fly.

[–]Escalus01 71 points72 points ago

Of course its eggs look like grenades.

[–]raven00x 23 points24 points ago

they're actually really neat. the eggs look like the seeds of certain plants, which ants find irresistable. so ants find the eggs, haul them back into the nest where they're protected from predators, then when the stick insect nymph hatches, it just trots right on out of the ant nest.

[–]somebodyfamous 21 points22 points ago

followed this to the Children's stick insect:

...children's stick insect being about 110 millimetres (4.3 in) long can be quite gracious...

Good to know they're polite, at least.

[–]adventurousnails 13 points14 points ago

I was on a tour of Ayers Rock in Australia and there was a Titan stick insect in our food tent. It was actually really cool. Kind of just sat there and pretended to be a stick. I ended up picking it up to take it outside so it wouldn't get squished, and I felt like a total bad-ass. It was about as long as my forearm. Unfortunately, it decided to climb onto my back where I couldn't see it and towards my neck. Then I freaked the fuck out and someone had to come take it off of me.

I'm usually okay with bugs, but I don't like them near my neck or face. I made a fool of myself, but at least was the coolest person there for a few seconds.

[–]Not_This_Planet 30 points31 points ago

They're completely harmless.

[–]WombatHerder 93 points94 points ago

Yeah until they swallow your soul.

[–]man_cub 36 points37 points ago

I'm not so sure, one of them hit me with a boomerang once.

[–]CORPORATECATS 22 points23 points ago

Yep! I used to play with them all the time when I was a kid, they're cute.

[–]SmarterThanEveryone 15 points16 points ago

Who needs a dog when you have bugs like that, right?

[–]robreddity 9 points10 points ago

It can fetch itself!

[–]Blinklink7 8 points9 points ago

I suggest nukes. But I am open to suggestions. A meteor magnet mayhaps...

[–]mhaom 16 points17 points ago

It disturbs me that it's only the "second largest" stick insect...

[–]Ebake09 28 points29 points ago

What disturbs me more is the the biggest one is named "TITAN" MOTHAFUCKTHAT.

[–]MongrelNymph 18 points19 points ago

that ain't a stick, that's a tree

[–]Le_Pedobearrr 2 points3 points ago

The fuck is this? The fuck is that?

[–]savanta 180 points181 points ago

Looks like it's time to get a new kid.

[–]Fucks_Quotes_Up 90 points91 points ago

Looks like it's time to get a new kid

-Chinese parents

[–]BString 97 points98 points ago

looks like its time to get a boy

- Chinese parents

[–]othersomethings 159 points160 points ago

Turn Left!!!

[–]Giinto 63 points64 points ago

Bad Wolf

[–]wojokhan[!] 59 points60 points ago

I started watching Doctor Who for the first time a few days ago. Since, I have seen SO MANY Doctor Who references! I feel like I'm now part of something.... something... huge.

[–]phrexi 21 points22 points ago

They are all over Reddit! Its kinda cool.

[–]sirlost 31 points32 points ago

i'm sorry, i'm so sorry... it's kind of ridiculous once you realize how often it happens. on that note, it's fantastic! you're in for a hell of a ride, allons-y!

on a serious note, when you get to the matt smith series, give rory some time. he gets waaaay cooler.

[–]ashleton 39 points40 points ago

Hitler, get in the cupboard.

[–]mikeon314 16 points17 points ago

What do we do with the things we don't like?

[–]wojokhan[!] 7 points8 points ago

I love this. Thanks, mate! Just finished the first season and already addicted.

[–]V3RTiG0 4 points5 points ago

For that matter give Matt Smith some time, he doesn't really get any better but the supporting cast does. Not saying I don't like him but he's no David Tennant. Those are some MASSIVE doctor shoes to fill IMO.

[–]mikeon314 10 points11 points ago

There is something on your back.

[–]armbarred 3 points4 points ago

[–]lnkofDeath 2 points3 points ago

I think you should watch Community, Curb Your Enthusiasm, 30 rock, and The Office. You'll notice Reddit is just a soup of references.

[–]food_bag 363 points364 points ago

nope

EDIT: nope

[–]woodc85 85 points86 points ago

Hey, you didn't edit that nope in there

[–]SuperTonicV7 56 points57 points ago

Ninja edit - I want to believe.

[–]digforclams 18 points19 points ago

The one minute rule.

[–]buzzkill_aldrin 7 points8 points ago

Three minute rule, actually.

[–]hightimess 13 points14 points ago

double negtives nigga. you just agreed to that shit.

[–]shodanx 66 points67 points ago

actually it's beautiful

it looks so delicate

I want one

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]shodanx 26 points27 points ago

children aren't delicate, I've seen a few fall down a flight of stair and they were not even broken

[–]Its_aTrap 5 points6 points ago

That must have been one resilient stair.

[–]Mikuro 9 points10 points ago

After the initial shock of seeing an insect that huge, I agree. It looks like a big ol' grasshopper, and who doesn't like grasshoppers? Even robots like grasshoppers.

I'd love to see one up close and just marvel at it.

[–]moofdivr 41 points42 points ago

Grasshoppers scare the fuck out of me. They can jump and fly and are larger then most bugs. AKA my nightmare.

[–]Sandmanifest 23 points24 points ago

I hear you man. Like the kind with the black wings. Then when they fly at you in the night you feel as though through those horrible palpitating appendages a dimensional rift will suddenly and terribly rip open, letting loose some black hell from the depths of the mind of Franz Kafka himself. Then your skin crawls as if hundreds of rough prickly insectile legs are scurrying all over you.

That's what it's like to be afraid of bugs.

[–]heavyfuel 10 points11 points ago

I thought I was the only one. I dislike insects in general, but grasshoppers and beetles are the 2 I'm actually terrified of.

[–]TheHungryLuma 3 points4 points ago

I wouldn't mind them so much if they couldn't jump, but beetles i'm fine with since they're just so tiny and slow

[–]ShadowAssassinQueef 3 points4 points ago

That's what they want you to think.

[–]kevmo 2 points3 points ago

Upvote for Short Circuit reference.

[–]Rpgguyi 2 points3 points ago

NUMBER 5 IS ALIVE

[–]QSector 33 points34 points ago

i seem to recall that character from Pan's Labyrinth

[–]1stgamer 5 points6 points ago

I've been seeing a few Pan's Labyrinth reference lately. Is it worth watching?

[–]QSector 5 points6 points ago

In my opinion, I think it's a brilliant film and Guillermo del Toro's best work. It is subtitled if that's a concern to you though.

[–]TheElectricalRunneR 62 points63 points ago

With out looking, guess the subreddit you're in.

A) Funny

B) Pics

C) WTF

D) Politics

[–]SomaGuye 48 points49 points ago

Politics. Definitely politics.

[–]TheRealRockNRolla 14 points15 points ago

The insect is the Christian conservative demographic and the kid is the Republican Party! Timely satire.

[–]pizz901 8 points9 points ago

FUCKIN REPUBLICANS

[–]TheWac0Kid 7 points8 points ago

This comment made me sad.

Because I picked wrong. These subreddits used to stand for something. Fuck, man.

[–]Verinvlos 43 points44 points ago

I think there's something on your back.

[–]likwitsnake 68 points69 points ago

[–]afroturf1 11 points12 points ago

Hold still ill get it.

[–]moopie45 9 points10 points ago

ho stil i got chu

[–]stealingyourpixels 4 points5 points ago

Turn Left.

[–]hungrierdave 9 points10 points ago

[–]sicknss 3 points4 points ago

That's exactly what popped into my head when I saw it.

[–]Amateur_Ninja 36 points37 points ago

The balls on this kid will knock the world out of orbit as soon as he hits puberty.

[–]Drunken-Historian 21 points22 points ago

If that insect was on me, I wouldn't be able to stand still long enough for somebody to take a picture.

[–]reposedhysteria 20 points21 points ago

I would most definitely cry.

[–]bawillis 6 points7 points ago

Dude forget that. I would be a block away in a bomb shelter.

[–]jelect 1 point2 points ago

I think you mean FUCK that.

[–]willroy 5 points6 points ago

HURRY!! You must tame it before it evolves into a banshee. Then you can ride it for life.

[–]SonicIceFlare 7 points8 points ago

"Why does everyone keep looking at my back?"

[–]IIGeranimoII 1 point2 points ago

[–]al496404 20 points21 points ago

"Sticky" situation there

[–]ihavetissues 17 points18 points ago

These jokes really bug me

[–]TeamKiller 17 points18 points ago

NO

[–]guydude24 9 points10 points ago

These puns tick you off or something?

[–]ReadsLikeRucks 11 points12 points ago

I'm sorry, the only way to kill that thing is with fire.

[–]Vinator[S] 16 points17 points ago

I think in this case you've to burn the kid as well :( as sad as it sounds you have to make sure.

[–]baddrummer 3 points4 points ago

Then put the fire out with a golf shoe.

[–]McJaeger 3 points4 points ago

DEXTER!! There's a giant bug on your face!

[–]jimerlins 9 points10 points ago

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[–]foreveralolcat1123 7 points8 points ago

aaaahhhh that would have made me so happy as a child

[–]burgenic 5 points6 points ago

That's a really tiny person.

[–]Ninjangles 3 points4 points ago

Dont move... I need karma is how that title should have ended

[–]-eDgAR- 3 points4 points ago

That bug's on steroids

[–]dyaballikl 4 points5 points ago

"I'm gonna go get a hammer!"

[–]MrCrippy 0 points1 point ago

Cool bug.

[–]gnit2 0 points1 point ago

IRL Vibrava?

[–]HelpMeImmigrate 2 points3 points ago

Its like Cells first Transformation.

[–]Colonel_Gentleman 2 points3 points ago

Oh goddammit. They're seriously remaking Temple of Doom with Shia Leboef in it?

[–]Radioiron 0 points1 point ago

He's in the stickiest situation since Sticky the stick insect got stuck on a sticky bun

[–]Cann1bal 2 points3 points ago

Dont move, I need to take a picture for Reddit first and then help you.

[–]georgeface 2 points3 points ago

Nightmares forever in 3, 2, 1...

[–]andrewpurpleworm 3 points4 points ago

Wheres the lighter?? Sorry kiddo...

[–]ithrowfruitatpeople 3 points4 points ago

This is not a joke. I've worked as a consultant for several years for hemipdera studies - especially shows like animal planet. This rare subspecies of "stick-bug" is preparing to burrow into this small child's brain. This is where they like to lay their eggs, after which the offspring will feast like kings on the liquid goodness if this child's gray matter. We can only watch as the child is slowly eaten.

[–]kenba2099 3 points4 points ago

It's just a stick bug. If it were poisonous, then it'd be a perfect time to panic.

[–]Miserable_Fuck -1 points0 points ago

TIL the average redditor is a huge, gaping pussy.

It's a bug guys, not the Antichrist.

[–]thatkid95 1 point2 points ago

What in the world is that?

[–]OliverMcLovin 1 point2 points ago

It's a fairy!

[–]XxCOLExX22 1 point2 points ago

Priorities.

[–]BadEgg1951 0 points1 point ago

DAYUM.

[–]complex_reduction 1 point2 points ago

What the fuck is that? Seriously?

[–]justfetus 1 point2 points ago

Oh wow, what is this thing? I was on vacation in the Dominican Republican a few years ago and while I was walking on the beach at night, my friend looks at my back and starts running away screaming (we were both slightly drunk). I feel something with my hand and quickly take off my shirt, throw it on the ground, and see this monstrosity on it. Must've fallen on me from a tree or some shit.

[–]DarknessDragon -1 points0 points ago

O_O <- this was my face when i opened the link.

[–]cosmicreggae 1 point2 points ago

But yo if brain-sucking aliens were that cute, we'd all be so lucky. Reddit is patient zero.

[–]otakuman 1 point2 points ago

[–]lightfragments 0 points1 point ago

wow a walking stick?

[–]omgthatkid 0 points1 point ago

You got a little something there on you...

[–]fennesz 0 points1 point ago

"Yeah, yeah I'll get that giant insect off of you in a minute. First I've got to get a picture!"

A+

[–]SwiftHippie 0 points1 point ago

Don't worry, it's just sucking your brains out through straws is all

[–]DallasITGuy 1 point2 points ago

I say we take off and nuke the entire site from orbit...it's the only way to be sure.

[–]guitarmythdestroyer 0 points1 point ago

For whatever reason, stick insects of any type have never freaked me out even though everything else does.

[–]FaytheReyn 0 points1 point ago

It's cute! At least it's not a spider. I'd never let it touch me, but hey, that thing doesn't look like it could potentially make you permanently disfigured/dead (like spiders).

[–]Trust_Me_Im_a_Panda 0 points1 point ago

"Honey? There's a kid on our bug."

[–]trustedsource 0 points1 point ago

I think above a certain size, a bug is wrong to kill. Hope that kid enjoys his new pet.

[–]flks511 0 points1 point ago

"Holy shit! Get it off me, get it off me!"

"Hang on, let me get a picture of this."

"What the fuck!? Just get it off!"

"Dude, stop moving, I'm trying to choose a good filter."

[–]tzb197 0 points1 point ago

I would freak the fuck out if I came anywhere within 100 miles of that thing.

[–]DefiantLion 1 point2 points ago

Is that a Pokemon...?

[–]ltra1n 1 point2 points ago

WHO'S THAT POKEMON?!?!

[–]quakervegan 0 points1 point ago

Nope.

[–]mean_internet_man 1 point2 points ago

This definitely belongs in r/funny

I was rofl'ing so hard.

[–]a_shootin_star 0 points1 point ago

How can it fly with so many holes in its wings? and the one on the kid must be very old, to get to that stage of growth.

[–]Ms_Anon -1 points0 points ago

Don't Move... You stepped in Human. They are liable to kill you when startled.

[–]No1GivesAFuck 0 points1 point ago

Ohhhhh my god. If a bug that big ever landed on me I'd faint or freak the absolute fuck out and need therapy

[–]SaintAnlathas 0 points1 point ago

Not nope. But hell nope.

[–]lespigeon 1 point2 points ago

I find weta's creepier. their fat butts... I once had one tangled in my hair. I'm still traumatised.

[–]AUS_1706_bPd 2 points3 points ago

As someone who lives next to a tropical reserve and has to deal with bugs of all sorts all the time, I have NEVER seen something like that... bloody hell, and here I thought the spiders here in Australia were unmatched.

[–]Ohcrapbears 0 points1 point ago

Kill it with fire!

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

It's just Zorak being an ass again, zap him with your laser.

[–]this_guy_says 1 point2 points ago

That looks like it could be a fucking Pokemon.

[–]scumbag-reddit 0 points1 point ago

I don't even...what is going on here?

[–]peterm242 0 points1 point ago

im so sad that exists.

[–]Schizoforenzic 0 points1 point ago

Nah.

[–]iniightmareav 0 points1 point ago

Had this happen too me as well, but it was maybe half that size. I look down because I felt something on my forearm and a big ass grasshopper thing was there, about 7/8 inches long. I FREAKED.

[–]IICanuckII 0 points1 point ago

Follow it to the labyrinth.

[–]ThunderSteel666 0 points1 point ago

I usually hate posts with bugs but seriously guys? It's just a stick insect.... No need to burn it and go on with "NOPE". In fact, I think it's actually kinda cool

[–]robotporn 1 point2 points ago

I would shit a brick

[–]redgroupclan 0 points1 point ago

Good God...it's too big to smash.

[–]JTyler82 0 points1 point ago

Has anyone seen my walking stick?

[–]HardSnow 0 points1 point ago

Ok.... Don't move... HONEY GET THE CAMERA!!!

[–]reddification 0 points1 point ago

"Donna, there's something on your back..."

[–]Supernyan 1 point2 points ago

Turns out the apocalypse actually hit Australia. They just didn't notice because that's totally normal.

[–]i-Jonty 0 points1 point ago

"Okay.. Don't move... I'm grabbing the camera!"

[–]Softice4 0 points1 point ago

Reminds me a South Park episode about saving amazon...turns out to nope, fuck the amazon

[–]condor216 1 point2 points ago

ASSUMING DIRECT CONTROL

[–]VasectoMyspace 0 points1 point ago

I can't even bear to touch insects bigger than half an inch. I would most likely shit myself and die if this thing came within 20 feet of me.

[–]Navikito 0 points1 point ago

So what is that mountain of an insect?

[–]VasectoMyspace 0 points1 point ago

Also - looks like the fairy in 'Pan's Labyrinth'.

[–]w00tski 0 points1 point ago

Oh god...what is that

[–]f22raptor272 0 points1 point ago

You could shoot it off but make sure you go into VATS first

[–]c0linaf 0 points1 point ago

I want one! :D

[–]sams1623 0 points1 point ago

What dimension of hell did that thing spawn from?

[–]TheHorseSizedDuck 0 points1 point ago

What kind of sorcery is this?