Reminds me of my fertility test. Here I am, about to jack off into a cup. The tech tells me there are magazines in the cabinet, and there's a DVD in the DVD player. Okay, great. No way in hell I'm touching those well-used magazines, so I start up the DVD player. (There was also no way in hell I was going to "get comfortable" in the recliner in the room, as had been suggested.)

So I start the DVD player. Okay, not bad. But then I realized that some dude had just gotten off at the exact point where I'd started the video. Better skip to the next scene. It's a good one. Lesbians. Gotta love that. They're having a picnic, not that I really care. I just want to see them get nekkid and play with each other until I'm able to make my deposit.

Problem is, while the scene is generally pretty good, every 45 seconds or so it just skips to a shot of a horse. The horse isn't doing anything. It's just standing there. The girls aren't even in the shot. Things are going along smoothly, and then BOOM!!; boner-killing horse.

On the bright side, the results came back quite positive. I'm fertile, bitches! And I have no resulting sexual interest in horses.