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Memory foam (i.imgur.com)

submitted ago by SurelyItsAdam

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[–]Peeatwork 133 points134 points ago

So... What was making the squeaking noise?

[–]trunicated 31 points32 points ago

If the bed is on a frame or a boxspring that's particularly noisy, you would still get the squeaky squeak noise that let's you know good times are being had.

[–]joshsg 71 points72 points ago

no lube

[–]billyz0914 26 points27 points ago

I don't know what you're doing. But no lube does not make a squeak...

[–]Jacosion 29 points30 points ago

And contrarily, lots of lube makes a fart noise.

[–]joshsg 23 points24 points ago

"like a boot stuck in mud, only wetter" - Dave Attell

[–]Boner_Pushup 6 points7 points ago

As a doctor, I can confirm this.

[–]ieatbabies92 4 points5 points ago

I am not a doctor and my hand can confirm this.

[–]redcube85 4 points5 points ago

Maybe they were using both male and female condoms at the same time. But they didn't have proper condoms, so they used balloons instead.

[–]YouPickMyName 0 points1 point ago

He meant for the bed frame.

[–]Wazowski 8 points9 points ago

You can put a foam mattress on top of a squeaky boxspring.

I've seen it done.

[–]ScottRTL 3 points4 points ago

I also came here to ask this...

[–]luckynumberorange 72 points73 points ago

Actually, having sex on a memory foam bed is awful because you do not get any bounce from it.

[–]tossit22 37 points38 points ago

It's even worse on an old-style water bed. It actually gives at exactly the wrong time, then thrust you back during the down-swing. Worst bed experience ever.

[–]luckynumberorange 42 points43 points ago

POW! Right in the cervix.

[–]SpongeBad 16 points17 points ago

The trick with a water bed was always to let the bed do the work. Don't fight it. Go with the flow.

[–]Heatmyser 16 points17 points ago

Nice try water bed salesman.

[–]rufud 6 points7 points ago

ok, uncle john

[–]popiyo 1 point2 points ago

Same with trampolines...I've been told

[–]LeCrushinator 16 points17 points ago

Agreed, half of the positions are pretty much useless on a memory foam mattress. But the post-sex naps are epic.

[–]luckynumberorange 11 points12 points ago

Sex on the counter, nap in the bed.

[–]LeCrushinator 5 points6 points ago

Whoa...whoa....we eat on there...

[–]TransAm 16 points17 points ago

not right now you don't

[–]ZeM3D 6 points7 points ago

I'm not sure if i should be proud of getting that reference.

[–]IveGotDippingSticks 6 points7 points ago

Not since the accident.

[–]theoneiwantedwasgone 1 point2 points ago

Alright goddammit, I missed this one. Could some kind soul link it for me?

[–]muchachomalo 0 points1 point ago

Sex on the couch.

[–]notsorrytobecanadian 2 points3 points ago

I'm not so sure... the starfish has been known to transcend mattress types.

[–]verkon 1 point2 points ago

Also, the post sex pit that is formed due to the weight of two people and downward thrusting works like a black hole and trying to lay side by side is pretty darn impossible because you gravitate towards the middle.

[–]msaz87 9 points10 points ago

When I went shopping for a new mattress, the salesman said of memory foam, "how do I say this without sounding like a dirty old man... but, you're going to be doing things on this mattress other than sleeping."

I think he was referring to my GI Joe reenactments of the War of 1812. What else could he have meant?

[–]Jhill1031 0 points1 point ago

It's true

[–]Seeders 1 point2 points ago

I wouldn't say awful...you just gotta put your back in to it a little more.

[–]jaird30 0 points1 point ago

You just have to give 110%

[–]Heq -1 points0 points ago

Yeah, having sex anywhere other than the bed just sucks :/

[–]occamsrazorburn 0 points1 point ago

Against the wall. It's awesome.

[–]FooToBart 0 points1 point ago

You must be doing it wrong. It's great on the kitchen worktop, in the shower, in a bath, on the floor, on a kitchen chair, all over a sofa, in a car (high difficulty level) etc

[–]Heq 1 point2 points ago

Wow, you must have lots of sex and therefore a high social status.

[–]Treadmillz -4 points-3 points ago

Not since the accident..

[–]downtotheground 13 points14 points ago

I knocked boots on a memory phone foam mattress (ex gf had one), and it's awkward at times. Depending on the position, your knees (or hers) will start to sink in after long periods of time. It's hard to explain but it definitely takes some of the momentum out of your action. I prefer a springy-ass mattress. Fapterburners activated.

[–]Solonys 5 points6 points ago

How many numbers could the mattress store in its phone?

[–]xwalka 22 points23 points ago

The mattress isn't the only one that remembers everything. . . http://i.imgur.com/4s9aU.jpg

[–]MoodyBullshitter 26 points27 points ago

Anyone seeking more info might also check here:

title comnts points age /r/
I...I remember everything.... 4coms 4pts 9dys funny
Matt's Therapy 163coms 1845pts 1mo funny
As a person with a memory foam bed, this made my day. 5coms 149pts 1mo funny
Not Everyone Enjoys Sex. 10coms 18pts 1mo funny
Memory foam 2coms -5pts 1mo funny
Memory Foam 5coms 13pts 1mo funny
I remember EVERYTHING 2coms 29pts 1mo funny

source: karmadecay

[–]seconddealer 9 points10 points ago

Man your battle stations!

[–]riggsinator 2 points3 points ago

I remember everytime this gets resposted

[–]kaltorak 3 points4 points ago

That's cruel to make him sit on a taxidermied mattress.

[–]Kaney1967 3 points4 points ago

THIS WAS DONE BY MY MATE!

GIVE HIM SOME CREDIT FFS!

@RhinoJelly

http://www.facebook.com/Rhinojelly

[–]deathtoEA 0 points1 point ago

Is anyone else bothered by the fact that the mattress in this picture is a spring mattress?

[–]Nezell 0 points1 point ago

I REMEMBER EVERY LITTLE THING AS IF IT HAPPENED ONLY YESTERDAY!

[–]LuckyDuck77 0 points1 point ago

If you found it on the internet, it's already been on reddit... if it's OC, it's still probably been on reddit. Shame on you.

[–]KRX61 0 points1 point ago

I posted this and got like 33 up-votes. lucky bastard. :(

[–]MesaGeek 0 points1 point ago

Yeah, well... memory foam doesn't squeak, fuck this shit.

[–]Roflcoptarzan 0 points1 point ago

I don't downvote reposts unless it's been reposted numerous times. I would say this is like the sixth time.

[–]sbrelvi 0 points1 point ago

Oh Adam...

[–]daaaabears 0 points1 point ago

Shrink reminds me of Will Smith

[–]Zombiewizards 0 points1 point ago

The dude looks disturbingly young..

[–]jr-hall 0 points1 point ago

Repost

[–]danmo_96 0 points1 point ago

I remember marking every victim with acute precision...

(Source: Repo! The Genetic Opera)

[–]sedmonster 0 points1 point ago

I thought they were going to find the foam imprint of the guy she's cheating on him with.

[–]Drunkmonkey35 0 points1 point ago

i like this repost. it was funny the first time.

[–]CrookedVulture12 0 points1 point ago

Arj Barker joke.

[–]IWasGregInTokyo 0 points1 point ago

OK, it has been established that memory foam is no good for sex. But are they actually that much better than regular mattresses for sleeping?

I need to buy a new mattress in the near future and all options are open. Been sleeping too long on cheap mattresses that collapse over time resulting in lower back pain upon waking.

[–]BlueWolf118229 0 points1 point ago

I thought the first panel was someones butt.

[–]mxdawson 0 points1 point ago

Looks like sperm is under the mattresses eyes.

[–]my_name_is_CJ 1 point2 points ago

So... why is Will Smith a therapist?

[–]HorkerPorker -1 points0 points ago

i totally thought the guy was just another lady - with hairy armpits. my first thought was - "this mattress doesn't like gay sexytimes???"

[–]Emanderp 1 point2 points ago

This is a repost

[–]Theroyalhamster 0 points1 point ago

No amount of therapy will ever fix his dreams

[–]nwsreddit 0 points1 point ago

He witnessed consensual sex. THE HORROR

[–]rocklee85 0 points1 point ago

It's not as good on memory foam...

[–]imawesome45 -1 points0 points ago

My sides....... Gone forever!

[–]Gwengars 0 points1 point ago

http://qkme.me/3s1nvm