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When my boyfriend told me he just bought my Christmas present (media.tumblr.com)

submitted ago by mistressredditor

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[–]theamazingadam 35 points36 points ago

just got home and turned on my laptop to find my girlfriend has left this up for me.

[–]Softcorps_dn 3 points4 points ago

Well I guess someone has earned herself this t-shirt.

[–]icecu1 0 points1 point ago

whats with the first person?

[–]bigp3rm 210 points211 points ago

I hope I get a girlfriend for Christmas.

[–]worrst 83 points84 points ago

I'll be your girlfriend (I'm not a girl) for Christmas if you be mine for Valentines...

[–]bigp3rm 87 points88 points ago

Can you at least push it between your legs?

[–]Jorate 42 points43 points ago

Sometimes I do this when I get out of the shower in the mornings

[–]Zosoer 20 points21 points ago

pics or it didn't happen

[–]BonTonVon 1 point2 points ago

It's time

[–]ziorjen 2 points3 points ago

Risky click, not so risky.

[–]onlythestrongsurvive 1 point2 points ago

You just made me think of this clip...ha ha ha ----------> http://youtu.be/RQb2m6VJ-eo My mind even scares me sometimes and yes, the last bit at the end of the clip always makes me laugh!

[–]rand_a 29 points30 points ago

I clicked hoping it was this video (nsfw)

[–]koalaberries 11 points12 points ago

Holy fuck, I have no idea why but that is the hardest I've laughed in weeks

[–]onlythestrongsurvive 3 points4 points ago

LMAO!!! woooooooooow. I have a friend that does that crap! He'll walk waaaay ahead of you in a building and do the tuck-surprise. Last time it happend we were leaving another friends apartment, I walk around the corner and BAM there he was pants down to ankles doing the tuck surprise! There was no time to react once you came around that corner either, it was to late.

[–]Cyberslasher -1 points0 points ago

It's youtube, how NSFW could it POSSIBLY be?

Edit: blurred dicks.

[–]PagingDoctorLove 1 point2 points ago

You read my mind!!! That might be my favorite 5 second film EVER.

[–]Sakhmett 0 points1 point ago

Thanks for making my day hahahaha

[–]Nomiss -1 points0 points ago

Better.

Warning: Adult block has been circumvented.

[–]n3on_rainbow 0 points1 point ago

Can you explain what the hells happening

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]onlythestrongsurvive 1 point2 points ago

Thanks......

[–]MCMLXXIX 2 points3 points ago

I made you survive a bit longer.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]onlythestrongsurvive 0 points1 point ago

:)

[–]trolloc1 5 points6 points ago

Would you fuck me John? I'd fuck me so hard.

[–]kingeryck 4 points5 points ago

Obligatory link I can't believe no one else posted

[–]unrectifiable 3 points4 points ago

Yeah ...

[–]RocaRay 0 points1 point ago

Tucked in, or tucked out?

[–]Bau5Fith 0 points1 point ago

It's not gay if you beat him up after

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]SCarolina420 4 points5 points ago

What you're thinking of is hookers

[–]Porkpillow 2 points3 points ago

"escorts"

[–]SCarolina420 1 point2 points ago

Close enough

[–]ih8karma 2 points3 points ago

"strumpets"

[–]puarookie 1 point2 points ago

me too bro, me too

[–]GoMrJoe 0 points1 point ago

The feels you describe - I know them, brother.

[–]pantsfactory -4 points-3 points ago

before you start accusing girls of leading you on, try to identify if you actually want a girlfriend or if you just want to have sex with some girl.

[–]dreweatall 0 points1 point ago

Either

[–]SweetNeo85 0 points1 point ago

A dream is a wish your heart makes... NSFW

[–]MPLS_MN 60 points61 points ago

As soon as my boyfriend told me he knew what he was getting my for Christmas I started begging for hints and guessing what is was. He refused, but after a day or two of nagging gave me a really useless clue.....and I guessed it. I was super excited until I realized it's less fun when there is no surprise. Plus now he might get me something else, and it really was the perfect gift idea. Fooey.

[–]Cococarbine 16 points17 points ago

What was the gift?

[–]MPLS_MN 67 points68 points ago

A newspaper subscription. It sounds kinda lame, but it's something I really really want and just can never justify buying. One of my most favorite things in the whole wide world is curling up next to him so we can do the crossword together (and scolding him for writing in guesses, haha). A subscription would allow us to do that every single day!

[–]Mortensen 150 points151 points ago

NEEEERRRRRRRDDDDDDDDDDDD

[–]MPLS_MN 49 points50 points ago

Psh. Being good at crosswords makes you also good at Pub Trivia. Which gets you free beer. Cool in my book.

[–]jackcatalyst 35 points36 points ago

Oh holy shit

[–]grubas 26 points27 points ago

The toilet's brightly shining

[–]Astrocricket 11 points12 points ago

This is the night of our fecal matter's birth

[–]KapitanTurtle 5 points6 points ago

Maybe lame, but if you guys have a tablet download the android app called "Shortyz Crosswords" to pull a ton of big-named crosswords down. New every day.

[–]MPLS_MN 5 points6 points ago

I'm planning on buying a tablet soon, but I doubt I'd use it for crosswords. There's something about the smell of a newspaper and the permanence of pen ink.

[–]millertime0503 9 points10 points ago

HIIIIPSTEEEER

[–]MPLS_MN 3 points4 points ago

haha. There are somethings in my life that might make me a little hipster (namely my love for cats, coffee, and crosswords), but I'd rather love them than care about what people think about it.

[–]raginghamster 4 points5 points ago

So... meta-irony?

[–]KapitanTurtle 0 points1 point ago

Yar, I figured as much :-) just wanted to throw that out there for ya.

[–]Mortensen 0 points1 point ago

Don't worry I love crosswords. It was just too good an opportunity to miss.

[–]Gevatar 4 points5 points ago

http://i.imgur.com/tvKqM.gif

[–]Whats_A_Username 7 points8 points ago

Star-Tribune?

[–]MPLS_MN 8 points9 points ago

Of course. The Pioneer Press isn't a real paper.

[–]pillowplumper 3 points4 points ago

This made me grin so hard. And I also did the NERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRDDDDDDDDDDDDDD cry, but with affection :) I hope you get it anyway.

[–]Vortex60 5 points6 points ago

You two will be the perfect old couple.

[–]omgwtfdead 2 points3 points ago

My dad works for the star tribune. Thank you for supporting a dying medium! Newspapers need all the help they can get.

[–]PagingDoctorLove 1 point2 points ago

Seconded! I wish I could upvote you more!

[–]SpiralSoul 0 points1 point ago

What was the useless hint?

[–]MPLS_MN 0 points1 point ago

First, I asked if it was something I could use on Sunday (a joking way of asking if it's sex-related) and he said it could be used everyday of the week. Then I asked if it was clothing and he said it 'could' be worn. Those, combined with him having told me it was something I had at one point mentioned wanting was enough apparently.

[–]kensomniac 1 point2 points ago

That pain of someone guessing your perfectly laid out surprise gift. Even after giving useless hints.

sigh

[–]notliam 2 points3 points ago

My girlfriend has gotten mine already and I'm pretty sure I know what it is, but I'm keeping my mind open because it could easily be 2 or 3 other things and I look forward to finding out, I'm not going to start measuring or shaking boxes or even looking in to search histories or whatever, I'd ruin the fun for myself and for her. I was pretty sure she knew what I was getting her, I thought it was a little obvious so have avoided the subject altogether but today she made it pretty clear that she doesn't (not by saying "I have no idea!" obviously) and it made me even more excited because I know she will love it. It's hard not to tell her because she's a little down at the moment and knowing what it is will make her happy, but obviously ruin the Christmas surprise. Christmas eh :)

[–]PagingDoctorLove 1 point2 points ago

You are an awesome person.

My boyfriend and I both had a pretty tough year (although we've only been dating for about half of it), which was made so much worse by the fact that he lived four hours away from me for school this term (so, about 3 months of imposed long distance). We budgeted the shit out of what we had in order to see each other every two weeks or so. We can't really afford to buy each other presents (I'm graduating and my current job is for students only, still looking for a new job), but we would like nothing more than to be able to. Hopefully next year we'll both have better footing... but I consider the best gift the fact that he's moving back to town. I might have to move if I don't find a job soon, but probably only two hours away, which is a little more do-able.

Anyways, for now I'm going to live vicariously through your story. I hope you both have a really awesome, happy, surprising Christmas!

[–]candyman420 1 point2 points ago

Man, if you were my girlfriend, I'd treat you to dinner at Arby's EVERY MONTH. How about it, wanna trade up?

[–]ciestaconquistador 0 points1 point ago

Puddy?

[–]bagboyrebel 0 points1 point ago

You sound like my girlfriend, except she still hasn't guessed it.

[–]KingCantoKungFu -1 points0 points ago

And this is why my girlfriend isn't getting anything for christmas, i'll chalk it down to us being too materialistic or some shit, fuck it, i'll do it on the night.

[–]Theropissed 11 points12 points ago

So kind of related: In high school, probably about 8 years ago, there was a girl I was friends with and used to like. She gave me a gift (i've forgottenwhat it was). I didn't have one for her but I said "oh I actually have one for you at home".

So I go home that day, can't think of a damn thing to give her, I don't have a job, no money, nothing. I look around my room, there were plenty of items she would have loved but my thought was "but these are mine" and it never happened. So the next morning before school I went to the kitchen, just grabbed an open bag of oranges, stapled it, and when I got to school I gave it to her with a handcrafted card.

[–]Peanuttaco 2 points3 points ago

What the fuck man..... Unless she was a pirate you dun' fucked up.

[–]bodaciousbilly 19 points20 points ago

Luckily I can escape this because my SO is in another country til Christmas. Unfortunately, though, my SO is in another country til Christmas.

[–]v1ND 17 points18 points ago

http://i.imgur.com/4r1wx.gif

[–]imtoooldforreddit 3 points4 points ago

http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m6ozwt46FU1rpj7qbo1_500.png

[–]akwayfarer 5 points6 points ago

I love the whole guessing game that goes one for weeks before Christmas. I used to do this all the time with my parents and brother. We would make up ridiculous hints and even more ridiculous questions. I learned to give hints like a fay, totally true and completely impossible to guess. It was great. Now though, my husband will just spoil it all and tell me what he got me. I've learned not to ask.

[–]wigglepiggle 0 points1 point ago

I would like an example of these fay-like hints. Not because I want to guess it, but one day I hope to be this awesome.

[–]akwayfarer 0 points1 point ago

Hints are hard to come up with, without proper inspiration. Answering questions is a lot easier. Just answer truthfully and vary how you behave when you answer. Sometimes answer truthfully, but act like you are lying. Other times, act like you are telling the truth. Soon you could tell them exactly what you got them, and they still will not believe.

[–]wigglepiggle 0 points1 point ago

You're a genius.

[–]akwayfarer 0 points1 point ago

I'm honest and I have a very hard time deceiving people. Subtlety is not my thing. This is my only outlet for lying creatively. I like to have fun with it.

[–]wigglepiggle 0 points1 point ago

My lies are always given away by me grinning like a fool.

[–]akwayfarer 1 point2 points ago

Use that. Tell the truth, and grin like the joker.

[–]Scarytownterminator 6 points7 points ago

My girlfriend does the same thing. Sometimes I told her I bought something when I haven't just to mess with her.

I like to think that it's a lesson in patience, but it's really just for the lulz.

[–]ahdn 5 points6 points ago

My husband and I are the complete opposite. He gets me a present and BEGS to give it to me immediately. But I don't want it. I want a fucking glut of presents all at once!

[–]ciestaconquistador 0 points1 point ago

I do the same thing as your husband. I get too excited about the gifts I get people.

[–]Captain_SuperWang 11 points12 points ago

Came here to see Dick In A Box. I was disappointed.

[–]grubas -1 points0 points ago

Well I figured out what she's getting...

[–]PagingDoctorLove 0 points1 point ago

Please don't cut your dick off... it would be surprising, but probably also more expensive in the long run than buying her that nice sweater she's been eying.

[–]TheJanks 2 points3 points ago

My wife drives me insane like this, so I never tell her I even got anything till I give it to her. Then she finds out I had it for awhile and gets all sorts of mad for surprising her. She hates surprises.

This year, the surprise is NOTHING!

[–]Irrelevant_muffins 7 points8 points ago

My husband does that and I give in every time. His Christmas present came in the mAil yesterday, he doesn't know. I'm fighting the urge to give it to him already.

[–]elquiche 1 point2 points ago

is it "Give it to me, NOW", or "Now, give it to me"?

[–]lizzyborden42 1 point2 points ago

I like to imagine its Veruca Salt from Charlie and the Chocolate factory saying "give it to me, now!" If I computercapable I would dub her voice over that gif.

[–]CherryBeary2 1 point2 points ago

My mom did this with a 32 inch flat screen and Assassins Creed 3...firstworldproblems

[–]aggibridges 1 point2 points ago

You spelled /richpeopleproblems wrong.

[–]millertime0503 1 point2 points ago

You can get a 32" for like $150 now. Video game is probably $60. Not sure you can call him rich for getting $200.

[–]donquixote235 0 points1 point ago

If you properly use the same hand gesture as Stephen Colbert did in that clip, I'm sure he'll give it up.

[–]arhoglen 2 points3 points ago

I always buy gifts early, and so does my fiance. I constantly try to talk him into doing our gift exchange early, because the gifts are sitting under the tree taunting us both.

[–]jillitalent 2 points3 points ago

totally my boyfriend. He's 27, but acts like a 9-year-old around Christmas time... he loves to go looking for his gifts, too.

[–]CrunchyNerd 0 points1 point ago

Obligatory "That's what she said"....

[–]THAT_ENT 0 points1 point ago

SHE WANTS THE G!

[–]souperman08 1 point2 points ago

Is it just me, or do his hands look huge?

[–]LexSenthur 4 points5 points ago

I think of it more like the interrogation scene in The Dark Knight.

"WHERE IS SHE?"

"You're too late!"

"WHERE IS SHE?"

[–]elfchick17 0 points1 point ago

I hate it when mine does that! He just don't tell me that he has it before Christmas, otherwise I will not leave him alone until I figure it out.

[–]Perpetual_Entropy 5 points6 points ago

And you don't realise that this is not really a good trait to have?

[–]kensomniac 6 points7 points ago

Seriously.. nothing like trying to do something thoughtful, and then have hate dropped on you for either not telling, or for telling too soon even though they ask.. and then you always run the slim chance that because they know of the gift, they expect another "real surprise."

Totally shoots they joy of giving right in the damn, puppy-eyed face.

[–]pogopunkxiii 0 points1 point ago

This is one of my favorite things to do on the occasion that I have a female companion during holidays or you know... ever.

[–]RubberDuck12 0 points1 point ago

But don't be disappointed if it's a kitchen knife again.

[–]m46h1n3 1 point2 points ago

My gf hasn't bought me a birthday or xmas present for the last two years but I haven't said a word and I don't think she even realizes it.

[–]Dopey2 0 points1 point ago

Or just me to my boyfriend when it's not "that" time of the month.

[–]OrangeNova 0 points1 point ago

Why people have the need to know what there gifts are before Christmas is beyond me...

[–]Kohuded 0 points1 point ago

Hah, nobody on Reddit has boyfriends/girlfriends.

[–]Shakespearean_Rumba 0 points1 point ago

Sam?

[–]heads_tails_hails 0 points1 point ago

I swear I hear this one. And the RAWR above this. What the hell.

[–]TwinkleTwinkie 0 points1 point ago

My fiancee's X-mas from me happens right after I buy it. I don't have any patience and I want her to have it.

[–]ilski 0 points1 point ago

That is exactly what my wife does.

[–]switch_case 0 points1 point ago

When my boyfriend told me he just bought my Christmas present

People only buy one? I am doing this wrong...

[–]teagan93 1 point2 points ago

This needs all the up votes!

[–]SubtleMockery 0 points1 point ago

Wait for Christmas. Don't be greedy.

[–]Goldboy 0 points1 point ago

This could also work for "I want the D"

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points ago

How is this funny at all? No punch line or anything clever at all

[–]dangerelton 0 points1 point ago

If you put some testicles in that man's hand he would have what he wanted.

[–]Arbpink34 0 points1 point ago

You must make that exact face when you say it.

[–]feisty_ranga 0 points1 point ago

My boyfriend is horrible when presents are in the house and he can't have them. So this year I got his main present shipped to my mums house so he has no idea.

[–]quiznex 0 points1 point ago

My sister bought me my present. Through my Amazon Prime account. Knowing full well I can check it whenever I want.

Fuck me.

[–]DecrepitEntree 0 points1 point ago

Spoiler, it's his dick in a box!

[–]CrispsWithHips 0 points1 point ago

Holy shit balls that reminds me! I was at home when my Pandora bracelet arrived and my ever so loving fiance told me I can open it now. Yay!!! So I am going mad with the thank yous, I'm so exciteds etc etc. Unfortunately, he only meant/let me open the packaging not the actual Jared box :-(:-(:-( CRUEL AND UNUSUAL I SAY!! And I know you are reading this so again fuck you and your torment Christopher!

[–]ZeeHanzenShwanz 0 points1 point ago

When my girlfriend finally gets off her period [FIXED]

[–]imafloatingradish37 0 points1 point ago

When my boyfriend told me he bought my engagement ring. hehehe!

[–]rhiasian 0 points1 point ago

my thoughts exactly! hahaha

[–]skeddles 0 points1 point ago

My girlfriend is the opposite.

I bought your christmas present. Do you want to know what it is? Can I give it to you now?

[–]kingst_ 0 points1 point ago

Same reaction when i find a gift (Not on purpose)

[–]sqrt_1 0 points1 point ago

I just swap gifts before christmas. It's easier that way and you enjoy each gift more because you focus on each one instead of just the best of a bunch.

[–]unkownredditor 0 points1 point ago

my girlfriend told me she got me something for my birthday yesterday but shes not gonna be back in town til monday, not fair...

[–]sellyberry 0 points1 point ago

Same boat, only he just told me that it was coming the mail and I wasn't supposed to open it... I never open boxes addressed to him! Why would you tell me this thing :(

[–]Saadamizer 0 points1 point ago

Ha! Now you can't break up with me until Christmas!

[–]Diplominator 0 points1 point ago

The way he goes from Gollumesque covetousness to plaintive wheedling so seamlessly is just magical.

[–]Resnov1995 0 points1 point ago

Me when anyone says they got me something

[–]weedmonkey 0 points1 point ago

you squeezed his balls until he told you what he bought?how cruel!

[–]Mickey_Miney_Mo 0 points1 point ago

Although the image of you as a needy, greedy g/f kinda scares me, that was funny

[–]kitannbeals 0 points1 point ago

i have the same problem.. if he freakin gets his early i should too!

[–]TeblowTime -5 points-4 points ago

What?! An impatient female? No!

EDIT: To all the offended women downvoting, trying to pretend most women aren't impatient, take a look at the comments and all the women saying they are the exact same way. Sorry, but most women are quite impatient (not saying some men aren't). You can downvote me, but you can't downvote the truth!

[–]gilmore606 -5 points-4 points ago

You know those little panels on the walls of your house, down near the floor, that have little slots in them? Stick a fork in one of those and you'll get superpowers.

[–]bstampl1 -1 points0 points ago

Invisible male genitalia

[–]SomeCollegeGuy -1 points0 points ago

First step of having a girlfriend: NEVER tell her you know what you're going to get her, or when you've gotten it. You literally never hear the end of it.

[–]andybent25 -1 points0 points ago

It's not a ring. Put your junk back in your pants.

[–]ganjamensch -1 points0 points ago

So do you all have a GIF for every occasion for whatever happens in your life? The frontpage is flooded with posts like this. OK, so most of them are GIFs that have been reposted at least 20 times, but still. Or do you just take a GIF and make up a story that sort-of fits?

[–]OK4U2LOVE -2 points-1 points ago

I might be wrong here but you look very similar to this funny guy on TV, can't remember his name something like Co-beard.

[–]rushmc1 -2 points-1 points ago

What are you, five?

[–]Pyreoso -3 points-2 points ago

Why the dicksucking asschrist is this so highly upvoted?

[–]B_Rich -5 points-4 points ago

I get the same reaction from girls, except not only when I buy them a gift.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]supersnuffy 7 points8 points ago

...Somebody's a bit sore.