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The World According to Americans (zoliblog.com)

submitted ago by NewSchoolers

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[–]cameroncumland 89 points90 points ago

So where is Africa exactly?

[–]dgiangiulio228 115 points116 points ago

Exactly

[–]cameroncumland 53 points54 points ago

Bu Americans know that Africa exists. The tv informs us that it only takes a few cents a day to feed an adorable African child.

[–]ChildOf7Sins 23 points24 points ago

And, because of Facebook, I know Kony 2012 is over there somewhere too.... I think.

[–]cameroncumland 19 points20 points ago

I thought he was masterbating in public somewhere in California?

[–]obligatory_ 4 points5 points ago

Jackin' it in San Diego, to be precise.

[–]OceanicArc -3 points-2 points ago

That was a risky click.

[–]Kadoobie 6 points7 points ago

Not when you see the URL goes to YouTube.

[–]Kbg4213711 0 points1 point ago

NOT EVERY CLICK IS A RISKY CLICK.. It's like there's a need to post this sentence under every link in a comment thread..

[–]OceanicArc 0 points1 point ago

Jackin' it in San Diego? Yeah that doesnt sound right

[–]f22raptor272 0 points1 point ago

Adorable DYING chidren...or something...

[–]cameroncumland -2 points-1 points ago

Well if we send them 69 cents a day that should eliminate the "dying" aspect of their lives.

[–]f22raptor272 -1 points0 points ago

So they can live in unhappiness and poverty :D

[–]KittenWithMittens 1 point2 points ago

A FEW CENTS!? In Australia they're asking for a dollar a day! What the hell are they doing with all our money?

(AUD is currently stronger than USD)

[–]JackPoe 2 points3 points ago

I used to work at a call center for this kinda stuff.

12% of the money that people donate makes it to the kids. Which is to say 12 cents on the dollar goes toward paying for things for the kids... including the shipping and tax for anything bought for them.

The rest of it goes toward paying the employees and stuff for the call center.

[–]elad661 0 points1 point ago

Maybe they assume African children are some sort of fish?

[–]meatspun 0 points1 point ago

Just a dash of a contrary opinion

[–]dgiangiulio228 0 points1 point ago

I often get crucified for playing devils advocate but I find it fun. I actually fully agree with you but from the perspective of the narrow minded America bandwagon haters I'm guessing leaving out Africa was done on purpose for political reasons. But yeah people tend to forget (or block out) things like what bush did for AIDS.

[–]gtrogers 16 points17 points ago

Here.

[–]bringerofjustus 2 points3 points ago

it doesn't exist

[–]HotAndMessy -1 points0 points ago

So where is AIDs exactly? FTFY

[–]claudesoph -1 points0 points ago

That's the best part.

[–]yummypeanutjelly 14 points15 points ago

I can tell it wasn't an American who built this map, they would have known to put Hawaii next to America where it belongs, not at the other end of the earth! Gahd!

[–]spunkmastaflex 12 points13 points ago

Definitely not an American who made this due to Hawaii not being to the left of America.

[–]IncredibleFalk1 42 points43 points ago

I'm guessing this wasn't made by an American?

[–]iisdmitch 16 points17 points ago

I am guessing you are right.

[–]rushdafunk 8 points9 points ago

As an american I came here expected to be annoyed, but looking at that map, yea it looks about right.

[–]pdbeard 49 points50 points ago

Relevent

http://xkcd.com/850/

[–]LooksLikeANewAccount 0 points1 point ago

It's not great, but it's better than OPs.

[–]GigaGrey 0 points1 point ago

It is actually pretty great.

[–]Siarles -2 points-1 points ago

I'm sad that this comment is so far down the page.

[–]diegroblers 31 points32 points ago

If I lived in a country the size of America, I wouldn't care about the rest of world, either.

[–]ChickaloonCharlie 17 points18 points ago

and we have gallons here too, which you might not realize are much larger than a liter.

[–]dugsmuggler 4 points5 points ago

we have gallons here too, but ours are bigger than yours!

[–]ChickaloonCharlie 2 points3 points ago

Everything I've ever believed has been a lie...

[–]diegroblers 3 points4 points ago

I meant that you have years and years of exploring your country before you've seen it all... It wasn't a criticism... I'm I missing something?

[–]ChickaloonCharlie 2 points3 points ago

lol, no, I was just being silly.

[–]GigaGrey 1 point2 points ago

Understandable. You have the full spectrum of climatic zones in your own country. Why travel anywhere else?

[–]VaginalOdour 6 points7 points ago

I like how Africa doesn't exist

[–]enneads169 13 points14 points ago

Why the qualification "According to Americans"? I see nothing wrong about that map.

[–]AgrippaDaYounger 72 points73 points ago

This stereotype annoys me greatly as an American who works to progressively become familiar with the rest of the world, only to deal with smugness about my supposed ignorance from 'foreigners' (usually European). Just have to say, if we're morons but have managed to achieve what we have, what does that say about everyone else.

And while I'm on this rant, a lot of people are benefiting from American militarism, via the freeing of domestic funds normally allocated for defense, or just from the securing of supply lines that result in lower commodity prices for everyone. Not everyone is this way but if we are going to start addressing stereotypes, bring em out.

[–]des_troy 39 points40 points ago

I really wish people would realize that not everyone in the united state is fat, lazy, and ignorant. When people post stuff like this, it just makes them seem like the ignorant ones. I mean sure, we have people that are ignorant, uneducated, and obese, but honestly, what country doesn't?

[–]Discent 6 points7 points ago

I wish people would realize that the US works far more and harder than almost every other nation in the world so fuck you if we're fat.

[–]bluescape 1 point2 points ago

I don't know that us having one of the longer work weeks and fewest vacation days off is something we should be proud of. I'd much rather enjoy life with my family and friends than spend it at work.

If you want to work harder, then more power to you, but it's gotten to the point where it's expected that you simply do more for less reward. If you can't/don't want to, then fuck you, you'll be replaced by the next guy who IS willing to take it in the ass. I have and some of my friends have had jobs where we get more and more responsibility or simply go above and beyond every day in the hopes of a promotion or to show how useful we are so we don't get laid off. The promotion doesn't come, and you don't get a raise, maybe you just don't get laid off, and now you're expected to pull 50 hour work weeks, or those other departments just become part of your job.

[–]Discent 2 points3 points ago

It most certainly isn't something to be proud of, but it is infuriating to be thought of as lazy when that isn't remotely true by comparison.

[–]bluescape 1 point2 points ago

I'd say in certain aspects we are. I haven't seen mobility scooters for fat people in other countries for example. I understand though, with a longer work week, and fewer vacation days, we often tend to not want to spend them, at the gym, or cooking a nutritious meal (stuff you can open and microwave is faster, albeit almost never good for you). In addition to that, automobiles are practically a requirement for life in the U.S. and if your longer work year is spent behind a desk, you're even more behind.

TLDR: Are we lazy? Yes. Is there a reason? Yes.

[–]Discent 0 points1 point ago

Lazy is still the wrong choice of words or at the very least it doesn't give the whole story.

[–]4rch -4 points-3 points ago

Says the country with a declining GDP rate

[–]captainahob 0 points1 point ago

What are you, some kind of moron?

http://data.worldbank.org/indicator/NY.GDP.MKTP.KD.ZG

[–]4rch -1 points0 points ago

The numbers show a negative trend in the GDP growth rate.

[–]caboose4321 0 points1 point ago

So we're still in first, just not gaining by as much.

er, victory is yours I guess.

[–]captainahob 0 points1 point ago

Not for 2011

[–]4rch 0 points1 point ago

Which country? The highest rates I see are in 2010

[–]bluescape 0 points1 point ago

What does that have with me wanting to spend time with family/friends and wanting to be rewarded in some fashion when I regularly go above and beyond my job description?

[–]xdreaper15 -1 points0 points ago

as an obese lazy uneducated, ignorant fuck; i third that motions

[–]bluescape -1 points0 points ago

Ignorant and/or uneducated I'll give you (if you include the third world). Obesity is something we've practically cornered the market on. We're so fat as a nation that overweight people seem healthy.

"Oh, you mean Sarah that's kinda chubby?" "No, Sarah's not chubby." "What Sarah are you talking about then?" That was pretty much an exchange that two of my coworkers had. "Sarah" is chubby, she's just not the beanbag chair that some of my other coworkers are.

Go to another country for a few months, come back, receive culture shock from how fat we are as a country.

[–]des_troy 5 points6 points ago

Alright, first of all, there are plenty of other places that have obesity issues. Infact a study shows that Great Britain has it worse than we do. I've been to many countries, and from what I've seen they're no better off than we are. Actually, te US isn't even in the top ten fattest countries. http://mobile.globalpost.com/dispatch/health/101118/fat-and-fatter-worlds-10-fattest-countries#mobify-bookmark

[–]bluescape 0 points1 point ago

That's funny, sad, and I stand corrected. I guess I just happened to travel to places where people aren't super fat.

[–]stanfan114 17 points18 points ago

Seriously though, fuck you OP.

[–]BobKelsoMD 7 points8 points ago

But to be fair, most western Europeans are pussies...

[–]epic_neckbeard_man 6 points7 points ago

As an American, the butt hurt is strong with this one. Jeez lighten up, I found this hilarious.

[–]Alikese 3 points4 points ago

That's fine if you don't get offended. But this is objectively not hilarious.

[–]Kogledk 4 points5 points ago

Do you realise that by generalising Europeans as smug bastards, you are enforcing a negative stereotype about Americans, which seems to be what upset you in the first place?

[–]AgrippaDaYounger 5 points6 points ago

Yep, whole point of my post was that while we are on the topic stereotypes I figured I'd explain that crap like this gives me a certain impression of 'foreigners'*. Not butt hurt, I realize its a joke, but this shit has been floating around the internet since Bush's first term (remember the video of morons trying to find countries on a world map and how much play it got?). Pointing out a stereotype is offensive is not the same as taking offense.

*generic term for people I assume aren't American due to lack of a better term

[–]phrexi 0 points1 point ago

Its a joke. And an overused one. Relax.

[–]Darqion 1 point2 points ago

At least we know you cant take a joke.

[–]jack_spankin 0 points1 point ago

And while I'm on this rant, a lot of people are benefiting from American militarism, via the freeing of domestic funds normally allocated for defense, or just from the securing of supply lines that result in lower commodity prices for everyone.

This is a huge cost that the US and 2-3 other countries bear to keep open global shipping that most people take for granted.

The price of your oil and food would go up in a huge way if all those companies had to provide their own security.

[–]choward271 9 points10 points ago

Only Sarah Palin views the world like that.

[–]PhoenixMagus 1 point2 points ago

You know, I almost posted a joke about her kid making the map, but that would probably have been going too far.

[–]Deadring -1 points0 points ago

This was originally created as " the world according to Sarah Palin." I think the post title also applies.

[–]un1ty 5 points6 points ago

More like "The World According to 1998 Internets!"

Amirite?!

[–]bnuuug 0 points1 point ago

You are rite. Everybody's talking about stereotypes, when the real issue is that this jpeg is fucking 10 years old.

[–]iwontupvotecats 14 points15 points ago

wrong, we like japan

[–]mattwb72 5 points6 points ago

I believe that's supposed to be N. Korea

[–]mikitronz 5 points6 points ago

What a hilariously ironic mistake.

[–]Capps14e 2 points3 points ago

TIL Korea is an island.

[–]blacktoise 0 points1 point ago

the japan one is the "tvs and cameras"

[–]izzybitsy 14 points15 points ago

[FIXED]

[–]some_douchebag 0 points1 point ago

I'm confused at what croatia has to do with resident evil, and england is the mummy?

[–]LooksLikeANewAccount 0 points1 point ago

I think it means mummy as in Mother.

[–]borsvadim 4 points5 points ago

As an American, I can tell you that this is mostly a stereotype.

[–]Danno47 3 points4 points ago

I think OP got the idea from this, which is somewhat outdated, but far more clever.

[–]GirlWithThePandaHat 2 points3 points ago

You forgot to mention:" as viewed by Europeans" in the title.

[–]darc_oso 2 points3 points ago

Oh, come on! Most Americans at least know the slaves came from Africa! And now, Kony 2012! ;) Yeah, we has a sense of humor too.

[–]ddam 2 points3 points ago

America: The only country on Earth worth making this comic about.

It's like watching the ugly kids hate on the Prom Queen.

[–]DesireenGreen 1 point2 points ago

As an American, does any American who draws a map really put Hawaii on the right side? I understand the world is round and all, but that just seems weird.

[–]Bass_Drop 2 points3 points ago

No you fucking Idiot, Hawaii is on the left.

[–]redherpbluederp 5 points6 points ago

As an American, I can take a fucking joke and realize this is not supposed to be indicative of all of us. Lighten up. However, downvote for massive repost.

[–]raging_asshole 0 points1 point ago

Trust me, not a single fucking American alive thinks of Hawaii as being to the RIGHT of North America.

[–]trevin84 2 points3 points ago

That's what I was thinking. I think I'd remember flying over communists the last time I went there.

[–]JojyAndPeen 1 point2 points ago

this is so stupid and stereotypical.

[–]mrDorgat 0 points1 point ago

Well, according to most Americans on welfare, anyway.

[–]Kratovil_lavelle 1 point2 points ago

I'm from the US, and some idiots I know, like rednecks, think of the rest of the world this say(especially the Middle East, they think all Arabs are terrorists)

[–]luigisfuckingpeach[!] 0 points1 point ago

Uk?

[–]anonymous93 0 points1 point ago

Ireland?

england?

where

[–]hamburgerdan -1 points0 points ago

I grew up reading this map..I don't see the problem.

[–]stillydgnYDG 0 points1 point ago

New Zealand? :(

[–]ZOMGROFLCOPTER 1 point2 points ago

:(

We have KIWIS goddamnit!

[–]TheJanks 1 point2 points ago

you need to move Alaska down and put hawaii right next to it like it is on our school maps.

http://www.50states.com/images/us_map.gif

[–]Fatuity 0 points1 point ago

There should be a Venn Diagram in China between the light blue and red.

[–]Dalimey100 0 points1 point ago

Hello there, image from 2009.

[–]realfuzzhead 1 point2 points ago

Why are all these people upvoting a world map?

[–]AMERICAAA -1 points0 points ago

Wait so this isn't the actual map of the world? Im confused...

[–]leveraction1970 -1 points0 points ago

I see nothing wrong with this map.

[–]filsyn 0 points1 point ago

Americans are not stuid!

[–]asieting 0 points1 point ago

I thought most know about canada.

[–]NickolasPickolas 0 points1 point ago

I think it would be more appropriate if Canada was also labeled America.

[–]GnomeYork 0 points1 point ago

My teacher had that map in our class!

[–]ered20 0 points1 point ago

Mexico doesn't do our laundry. That's China's job

[–]smalcald 0 points1 point ago

Hahahahahaha fuck you if you think this is true.

[–]randomhero98 0 points1 point ago

Everyone is so upset in here. When people make fun of my country, I find it hilarious.

[–]kr1sko 0 points1 point ago

Are we still doing this?

[–]Splarnst 0 points1 point ago

Is the island of evil-doers north of Japan supposed to be North Korea?

[–]Purplemustache 1 point2 points ago

This is more like "the world according to Americans according to Europeans."

[–]LivinDying3-4Time 0 points1 point ago

Oh, com'n! That's just a ripoff of this old map.

[–]darkbartlon 0 points1 point ago

HEY! Were do you think your coke comes from?

[–]sigrid2 0 points1 point ago

I dont hate on canada i live in WI

[–]Jzadek 0 points1 point ago

Reddit: Enjoys racist stereotypes... but not about Americans. Can't we make fun of everyone equally guys?

[–]seicar 0 points1 point ago

What's that show? "Idiot Abroad"?

[–]Kyle_Crafty 0 points1 point ago

I can vouch for that.

[–]fatevansdonuts -1 points0 points ago

America fuck yea

[–]Mikerk -1 points0 points ago

As an American I don't get what's funny about this map

[–]cosmicllamas 0 points1 point ago

Mexico does our LAWN, KOREA does our laundry.

[–]lucak98 0 points1 point ago

We don't think of Mexico as the country that does our laundry. We think of them as dog eaters, get your stereotypes right.

[–]RussellHustle 0 points1 point ago

Lmao I love how Africa isn't on the map

[–]umust 0 points1 point ago

Yup, looks correct to me.

[–]Zsrsgtspy 1 point2 points ago

I'm not sure what this "America" place is but if they think they are better then 'Merica there dead wrong

[–]_tiddereddit_ 0 points1 point ago

OP. YOU ARE NOT RESPONDING. WHERE THE FUCK IS AFRICA.

[–]cablelax28 0 points1 point ago

As an American I can confirm this is true

[–]ibethisguy 0 points1 point ago

They only showed part of the world because they ran out of stuff to insult America. Adding in the Middle East would have been easy, the lack of effort disappoints me.

[–]hpabraxos -1 points0 points ago

Okay so first of all: This is pretty much how the world is.
Second of all: America is indeed #1. Fuck you.

[–]lucidguppy 0 points1 point ago

You forgot Poland!

[–]fracking_u 0 points1 point ago

Who the hell illustrated this horrible rendition of the continents?

[–]ctownlegend 0 points1 point ago

The World According To Conservatives....would be a better title lol but you're right, lots of people see the world like that.

[–]JF42 0 points1 point ago

Stop complaining, rest of the world, or we'll cut you off.

[–]FalcoFire 1 point2 points ago

South Korea is nice.

[–]Gr33ny -1 points0 points ago

Bitch please http://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/13ls0e/the_world_according_to_australians/

[–]baaceleste 0 points1 point ago

Holy shit that is so accurate to so many people I know.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

Where the fucking hell is damn Africa?

[–]mythicalmarine 0 points1 point ago

I used to think like this as a kid. But then I grew up.

[–]spitfir32012 0 points1 point ago

That is a negative stereotype, not all Americans are Dumb-asses, at least some of us are smart. I.E, those of us who can talk, and know what there talking about, the people who think instead of follow, are the smart people of America

[–]briannamermaid 0 points1 point ago

as an american, i confirm that this is how most americans seem to think.

i rather dislike the majority of my country. i think i may move to europe if i ever get the chance.

[–]omnilynx 0 points1 point ago

Korea is an island?

[–]OldJimmy 0 points1 point ago

The World According to Drunk Children FTFY

[–]aaajay 0 points1 point ago

I fail to see the United Kingdom on the highly accurately depicted map of yours, sir.

[–]Akremer8 0 points1 point ago

Why pretend you're not the best when you actually are?

[–]Tip718 1 point2 points ago

That's totally wrong, We think Europeans are "Bitch-ass Pussies"

[–]Bbbenji 0 points1 point ago

Where the fuck is Africa... Oh wait... I get it.

[–]trevor_from_the_bank -3 points-2 points ago

As an American, I can confirm this world view. Also, fuck all those places that aren't "more America".

[–]sablebeats -4 points-3 points ago

this is strangely accurate as New Zealand isn't even shown in the picture and I'm sure most Americans don't know it exists

[–]keithybabes 0 points1 point ago

Everybody knows New Zealand isn't real. It's all CGI.

[–]sablebeats 0 points1 point ago

it's all fucking Peter Jackson's fault.

[–]CalebNewvine -1 points0 points ago

Uninhabited is supposed to read "Merica' hat"