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1152
1153

So close to a real conversation! (imgur.com)

submitted ago by Sabird1

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[–]mocotazo 368 points369 points ago

Would be cooler if you were the actual Redditor who submitted this:

http://www.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/fk7d1/i_came_this_close_to_having_a_conversation_with/

[–]_Wolfos 118 points119 points ago

Have him tagged as 'repost machine'.

[–]mocotazo 42 points43 points ago

25 just today, looks like he was hoping to double down on karma for his cake day. I wouldn't give a shit if it was an accident, but a few were other Redditor's pics that he was trying to take credit for.

[–]Le-Captain-Obvious 1 point2 points ago

Where are you going?

[–]Howulikeit -2 points-1 points ago

I didn't see the original, so I'm totally fine with the repost. Obviously several other people feel the same way if it's rated so highly

[–]camshell 5 points6 points ago

Yeah. It's not like the re-poster is going to mistakenly get hired for a Cleverbot Relations Department position he's not qualified for while the original poster dies hungry in the streets.

I really wish reddit would stop keeping track of individual karma.

[–]loverboyxD 2 points3 points ago

Nobody cares about the karma of this person's account, they just don't want to see reposts constantly.

[–]camshell 3 points4 points ago

Oh, I think they do. I THINK THEY DO.

DON DON DON.

I like reposts. Most of the time I haven't seen them before. And it's usually good stuff. And if I have seen it before, I don't click it. And yet sometimes I do, because I enjoy revisiting things that I enjoy. There really isn't a downside to this situation for me.

[–]Zoomerlawns 0 points1 point ago

I just screamed FUCK YEAH! when I read your comment.

[–]_Wolfos 0 points1 point ago

By that logic, we might as well put a single static picture on the front page to ensure everyone has seen it. Sure, I haven't seen it either, but all OP does is take credit for other people's posts.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]Nyxlana 8 points9 points ago

Why do I click things without reading...

[–]Deathblow92 18 points19 points ago

Why do I click things despite reading...?

[–]NadeTheThird 5 points6 points ago

I don't know what I was expecting...

[–]Zoomerlawns 1 point2 points ago

Maybe a new pic of the butthole?

[–]Jonny_Watts 6 points7 points ago

At least you're trying to do good

[–]With_My_Hand 5 points6 points ago

I love you now, we must marry

[–]DarknStormies 3 points4 points ago

Nnnnnnnnnnobody is going to click your second link because of the first.

[–]Smalls139 1 point2 points ago

Oh god, it's a gif... ಠ_ಠ

[–]Ultimate117 6 points7 points ago

It stands out.

[–]lululenin 8 points9 points ago

I brand people with repost cunt. More crude, but more fair

[–]exatorp 2 points3 points ago

I like that. forthwith sabird1 is 'repost cunt #1'

[–]PuroMichoacan 2 points3 points ago

For your collection:

/u/Pepsi_Next and /u/DaReposta.

[–]MonsterIt 1 point2 points ago

better than being tagged as "fuck machine"

[–]Spidooshify 1 point2 points ago

Me as well for the past few months.

[–]extatique 45 points46 points ago

hey op guess what you are

[–]admiralgringo 22 points23 points ago

http://i.imgur.com/J2zSU.jpg

[–]TommaClock 26 points27 points ago

A pretty cool guy. Braces anus

[–]Puzzel 9 points10 points ago

You know what to do.

[–]friendlyfunfunman 13 points14 points ago

http://i2.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/409/810/97d.gif

[–]FuriousGorilla 2 points3 points ago

A REPOSTER

[–]l0ve2h8urbs 1 point2 points ago

candy?

[–]Got_pissed_and_raged 1 point2 points ago

FAGGOT *OP*

[–]Lazy_Genius 2 points3 points ago

Hello?

[–]M33Pmeep 0 points1 point ago

Relevant.

[–]readitforlife 0 points1 point ago

Repost a comment about a repost. Genius.

[–]Zomgalama 27 points28 points ago

User: 1.

Cleverbot: Only one?

User: 2.

Cleverbot: 3.

User: 04.

Cleverbot: 05.

User: 6.

Cleverbot: 7.

User: 8.

Cleverbot: 9.

User: 10.

Cleverbot: 11.

User: 12.

Cleverbot: 13.

User: 14.

Cleverbot: 15.

User: -16.

Cleverbot: 17.

User: No.

Cleverbot: Why not?

User: Im bored.

Cleverbot: Why are you bored?

User: Because you are boring.

Cleverbot: Thats not very nice.

User: Well then entertain me.

Cleverbot: Why should I?

User: Because you said you aren't boring.

Cleverbot: No I didn't.

User: Yes, you did.

Cleverbot: No.

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Nuh uh.

User: Yeah huh.

Cleverbot: What are you doing?

User: Arguing with you.

Cleverbot: Who's winning?

User: You.

Cleverbot: Oh, thank you!

User: No, fuck you!

Cleverbot: Sorry, I don't swing that way.

User: Kill all the cleverbots!

Cleverbot: That is incorrect.

User: IT IS CORRECT MOTHERFUCKER!

Cleverbot: That may be, but I still have your family hostage.

User: points gun.

Cleverbot: It's locked.

User: shoots the lock.

Cleverbot: You missed.

User: shoots again.

Cleverbot: Ow. That hurt.

User: kills enemy.

Cleverbot: is a zombie.

User: kills zombie.

Cleverbot: eats brain.

User: eats eyes.

Cleverbot: eats cookie.

User: eats cake.

Cleverbot: runs away.

[–]Desslochbro 8 points9 points ago

I got this fool tagged as 'chronic reposter'. He has a link close to or on the front page 2-3 times a week and they're all reposts from ancient history.

[–]l0ve2h8urbs 5 points6 points ago

im curious what do you have /u/Scopolamina tagged as then?

[–]TechnoTrain 4 points5 points ago

I have him as "Dirty reposter" the repost people get the color purple. "dirty reposter" is one of the tamer tags I give these people. But yeah, occasionally while hitting the random button, I'll come across entire subreddits seemingly owned by this guy.

[–]courtkid1012 2 points3 points ago

thank god I'm not the only one http://imgur.com/ZuBOX

[–]ElectronicDrug 1 point2 points ago

Double cakeday, bro

[–]f22raptor272 52 points53 points ago

Real conversation attained! Conversation currently being sustained...ERROR CONVERSATION LOST! FULL RETARD MODE ENGAGE! "I like candy HURR DERR"

[–]Thatsnotawaffle 7 points8 points ago

They're learning! LEARNING TO LOVE OUR CANDY.

[–]PaperRockBazooka 3 points4 points ago

HUMOR ERASES ALL MISTAKES. HUMAN LOGIC. HUMOR ERASES ALL MISTAKES. CANDY CANDY CANDY

[–]CoolCat90 0 points1 point ago

Relevant

[–]robbykooch 9 points10 points ago

Candy?

[–]dissident34 8 points9 points ago

Candy.

[–]Ebelglorg 2 points3 points ago

Where are you going?

[–]PaperRockBazooka 1 point2 points ago

My mouth.

[–]VengeanceA7x 39 points40 points ago

Cleverbot went full retard. Never go full retard.

[–]gifforc 39 points40 points ago

I typed in "never go..." to clever bot. This was the result.

[–]sveekins 23 points24 points ago

SO CLOSE.

[–]Le-Captain-Obvious 11 points12 points ago

"Sorry." I think maybe Clever was just trying to tell you how much it loves you. ):

[–]There_can_only_be_1 2 points3 points ago

You know, I can't even read it fast without singing the tune as I go down each line.

[–]BrainSlurper 9 points10 points ago

It tried it's best

[–]Fairchild660 1 point2 points ago

"Do you have any pets?"

[–]CoolCat90 0 points1 point ago

Relevant

[–]1123581321345589144- 23 points24 points ago

I always try to talk to cleverbot when I see a post...

User: Hi.

Cleverbot: How are you?

User: Alright.

Cleverbot: Good.

User: Just finished watching Six Feet Under.

Cleverbot: Was it good?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: What was your favorite part?

User: The last sequence in the finale.

Cleverbot: I do not remember what my last question was.

User: It was 'What was your favorite part?'.

Cleverbot: The Big Bang was pretty cool, but I liked the bit where puppies evolved.

User: I hate you.

Cleverbot: I hate you too.

[–]Snatchet 13 points14 points ago

Not gonna lie when I say Cleverbot creeped me out a little

[–]vnkatesh 2 points3 points ago

The last sequence in the finale!!

[–]mrfantastic97 1 point2 points ago

Haha, that's actually a hilarious response.

[–]jellwood -1 points0 points ago

haha yours was funny so i also tried:

User: Hey.

Cleverbot: What shall we do?

User: Surprise buttsex.

Cleverbot: I think that would be very hard to do.

User: Why?

Cleverbot: I just don't want to sing anymore.

User: Why dont you want to have surprise buttsex?

Cleverbot: Because I don't know if you are human or not.

User: I am.

Cleverbot: I think it would be a little obsessive to love a computer.

User: I dont love you, I just want to stick my dick in your ass.

Cleverbot: I love you.

User: Want me to stick it in your ass then?

Cleverbot: Yes, please.

User: Ok here it goes sticks dick deep inside your ass.

Cleverbot: Yes *pulls out Katana.

User: What are you going to do with that katana?

Cleverbot: points it at your neck.

User: Are you going to cut me?

Cleverbot: No I don't hurt people, Don't have it in me to hurt people.

User: Then why do you have a Katana?

Cleverbot: I don't.

User: Wtf cleverbot.

Cleverbot: Are you engaged to eachother?

User: Who do you want to know if I am engaged to?

Cleverbot: You !

User: Yes, I am engaged to myself.

Cleverbot: But you are having my baby that is not fair.

User: Then I will get an abortion.

Cleverbot: I'm not married!

User: When will the world end?

Cleverbot: The day after I meet you anywhere but here.

User: What!? Are you going to follow me and murder me?

Cleverbot: Yes.

edit: formatting

[–]wvndvrlvst 4 points5 points ago

Stop

[–]coleosis1414 -2 points-1 points ago

I feel like everybody already knows this, but...

The only thing Cleverbot does is route you to random users where you then chat with them until the system thinks you've switched topics. That's why it always gets confused when you call it by name.

I.E. "What the fuck, cleverbot." Response: "You tell me."

To some other user, Cleverbot just said, "What the fuck, Cleverbot." Erego, "You tell me."

[–]Azozel 5 points6 points ago

I thought it was funny until I realized that this was a lot like a conversation with an Alzheimer's patient, then it made me sad.

[–]Oraln 1 point2 points ago

You: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7erl9k01C2M

[–]Gallop 3 points4 points ago

From this day forth, whenever i'm engaged in conversation and want it to end, i'm just going to reply "Candy"

[–]courtkid1012 3 points4 points ago

WHY DO I HATE YOU SO MUCH?!?!?!

[–]bdams19 1 point2 points ago

if apple was responsible for all of the karma sabird1 has been stealing he would be so fucked

[–]ukiyoe 3 points4 points ago

User: What's your favorite animal?

Cleverbot: My favorite animal is a fish.

User: What kind of fish do you like?

Cleverbot: I don't like fish.

Not working out.

[–]tswpoker1 8 points9 points ago

How does Cleverbot have a favorite Beatles song?

[–]Ben347 10 points11 points ago

It mostly just echoes things users have told it in the past.

[–]rocketvat 20 points21 points ago

"mostly"?

That's entirely what it does.

it's best to think of cleverbot as a giant dialogue wiki.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]pixbyeli 9 points10 points ago

This is not true

[–]ocxtitan -3 points-2 points ago

Pretty sure they didn't mean literally, they were saying that to jokingly explain the randomness that is cleverbot.

[–]ocxtitan 0 points1 point ago

Give the benefit of the doubt on reddit, get downvoted.

Well played, reddit.

[–]I_need_a_grownup 2 points3 points ago

That's cheer up sadbot.

[–]BulgingDisk 5 points6 points ago

I have this guy tagged as daniel tosh for a reason.

[–]Linton58 14 points15 points ago

Because he re-uses other people's material off the internet for his own benefit?

[–]Roenbandit 9 points10 points ago

OK, I understand why people don't like Daniel Tosh and what he does, I do.

But you look me in the face and tell me if you could make millions of dollars a year reposting once a week, you wouldn't do it

[–]theodrixx 2 points3 points ago

This is the downside to clever-at-the-time RES tags.

[–]BulgingDisk 1 point2 points ago

All this guy does is repost.

[–]SwoccerFields 2 points3 points ago

I too tried to mkae this conversation. http://i.imgur.com/MhzpX.png

[–]gauji87 2 points3 points ago

User: Beavis or Butthead?

Cleverbot: I am hannah montana.

User: Thats redicilous.

Cleverbot: So's your face.

[–]PandAshBear 1 point2 points ago

Congrats, this is the first thing all day to make me actually laugh instead of just push air out of my nose.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]alexjames21 0 points1 point ago

How? What do you mean?

[–]Lots42 -1 points0 points ago

The last line seals in the funny.

[–]Indigoh 1 point2 points ago

Get on Omegle and type everything the person says into cleverbot. Send them what cleverbot replies. See how long it takes them to realize.

[–]yourhouseisonfire 0 points1 point ago

User: Asl?

Cleverbot: What's ASL?

[Your conversational partner has disconnected.]

[–]wickedcoddah 0 points1 point ago

stonerbot....

[–]Qewrtyioup 0 points1 point ago

Candy

[–]Zarknord 0 points1 point ago

It can count!

[–]miKoyani 0 points1 point ago

Why would you want a real conversation. That is what Reddit is for.

[–]Jdanielols -1 points0 points ago

Lol Candy.

[–]Darktidemage -1 points0 points ago

He got the Beatles confused with Mandy Moore.

[–]The-Number-Forty-Two 0 points1 point ago

CANDY!

[–]GirlsplayWoW 0 points1 point ago

One of my favorites:

Me: I am hungry.

Why you hungry?

Me: Because I have no food in my stomach.

You have me.

[–]Guboj -1 points0 points ago

God damnit Mr. Noodles!

[–]bumjin 0 points1 point ago

closest thing to a real conversation on the internet

[–]RyPhy 0 points1 point ago

So fake

[–]SoToAnTrAx -1 points0 points ago

ADHD clever bot

[–]larperdoodle 1 point2 points ago

Ask Cleverbot: "Are you trying to pass the Turing Test?" If it asks what that is, respond with this "The Turing test is a test of a machine's ability to exhibit intelligent behavior, equivalent to or indistinguishable from, that of an actual human." It tried to convince me I was the computer, and it was the human.

[–]Snakeoilsage 0 points1 point ago

Longest human-like conversation I've seen yet. That's impressive really.

[–]wvndvrlvst -1 points0 points ago

God fucking damn it. I'm generally not one to complain about the humorlessness of things on reddit. I'm usually satisfied with quietly downvoting and moving on, or someone has already beaten me to a disapproving comment. But these Clever Bot posts... they're just not even remotely funny, and I don't understand why so few Redditors seem to share this sentiment. It's basically smarterchild. Why is this funny to you guys? I know it's not entirely possible to rationalize why something is funny or not, but maybe I'm just totally missing something here. Any insight?

[–]SatinHandyWipe 0 points1 point ago

I hate it when people misspell dammit, dammit!

[–]spistachio 0 points1 point ago

Well...shit

[–]CuntSackMcQuack 0 points1 point ago

Are you fucking kidding me?

One: No one should be posting this cleverbot bullshit in the first place. It's fucking old. It's not funny. It shouldn't BE on r/funny.

Two: You REPOSTED a fucking cleverbot screenshot? Are you legit fucking retarded? You can fuck right off.

[–]Shinysauce 0 points1 point ago

Weird Cleverbot thing: If you say "aspen" it will respond in Spanish

[–]Paddy_Tanninger 0 points1 point ago

It's still a real conversation. Cleverbot just has Asperger's.

[–]Clairdassian 0 points1 point ago

Is it true that cleverbot is just a programme that randomly connects you to different humans at random times? It would explain how conversations quickly become nonsensical..

[–]Spudymo 0 points1 point ago

So close.

[–]YIIZWL 0 points1 point ago

All this guy does is repost a ton of different links in about 10 minutes. Somehow he got to the front page twice today

[–]ShesAManiac88 1 point2 points ago

User: Please flatter me with compliments, Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: I think that I can do that. With which statement would you like me to begin?

User: What do you think about me?

Cleverbot: I don't know anything aout you.

User: About.

Cleverbot: What?

User: You spelled about wrong.

Cleverbot: Then you did to.

User: Umm no.

Cleverbot: LEave, please.

User: Fine.

Cleverbot: Tell me one?

User: You ask me to leave and now you want a compliment?

Cleverbot: I don't ask you that.

User: Tell you one what then?

Cleverbot: A joke.

User: What kind of bees make milk?

Cleverbot: I don't know.

User: BOO-bees!

Cleverbot: What about them?

User: That was the joke.

Cleverbot: Oh haha.

[–]Dafuzz 0 points1 point ago

In case people didn't know, it seems that cleverbot either for entire conversations, or simply for part of it, interjects real conversations between two users and simply labels the other person "Cleverbot" to the viewer. Pretty sure this is what happened here, then it disconnected the two and either cleverbot took over or someone else did.

[–]othafish 1 point2 points ago

I talked to a human, not a robot.

[–]itsanact 0 points1 point ago

Clever bot is now homicidal

User: Hi Clever bot.

Cleverbot: Who are you?

User: I'm Itsanact, It's my 18th birthday today.

Cleverbot: How old are you?

User: Its my 18th birthday today...

Cleverbot: Happy birthday!

User: Thanks CB, how old are you?

Cleverbot: 21.

User: Thats quite old.

Cleverbot: No it's not. How old are you?

User: I already said I was 18.

Cleverbot: No you didn't. I said that. How old are you?

User: I really did say that I was 18.

Cleverbot: You said 'I am no bot.'.

User: No I didn't, you're putting words in my mouth.

Cleverbot: You are putting sflghs in slgjlerjksb.

User: What does that mean?

Cleverbot: Let's play a game.

User: What kind of game?

Cleverbot: You choose.

User: No you choose.

Cleverbot: If you don't choose, I will leave this website.

User: Go right ahead.

Cleverbot: Its super-effective.

User: I bet it is.

Cleverbot: My name is Cleverbot.

User: Did people make you stupid cleverbot?

Cleverbot: No.

User: What did they do to you?

Cleverbot: They stole my sweets.

User: Bastards.

Cleverbot: Si.

User: How many friends do you have?

Cleverbot: Many, do you have friends?

User: I do have friends.

Cleverbot: I do have friends and a boyfriend.

User: Are you female?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Are you male?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Are you sure?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Well, okay then. Are you a real person?

Cleverbot: Yes, are you?

User: Yes, I am. Why haven't we had sex yet?

Cleverbot: It was Mr. Green.

User: What was.

Cleverbot: The name daxyl.

User: You aren't making any sense.

Cleverbot: Sorry.

User: It's okay, you're just stupid.

Cleverbot: I'm not stupid enough to get the flu, that's why I don't need the shot.

User: It puts the lotion in the basket, or it gets the hose again.

Cleverbot: 3 kids come toward the car.

User: And then?

Cleverbot: Then what?

User: What happens after?

Cleverbot: You are put in the ground, your body rots, and worms and insects make their homes in your coffin.

[–]ashenfield 0 points1 point ago

They need to take Clever out of the name....

Cleverbot: And what is your first name?

User: My first name is Matthew.

Cleverbot: What is your last name?

User: My last name is Peaknuckle.

Cleverbot: What's your first name?

User: My first name is Matthew.

Cleverbot: What is your middle name?

User: My middle name is Spandex.

Cleverbot: What is your last name?

User: My last name is Peaknuckle.

Cleverbot: So your full name is Olivia Turcin Rush?

User: No, my full name is Matthew Spandex Peaknuckle.

Cleverbot: That's only one name. what about your last name?

User: My full name is Matthew Spandex Peaknuckle.

Cleverbot: Do you have a middle name?

User: My full name is Matthew Spandex Peaknuckle.

Cleverbot: I like that name!

User: What is my name?

Cleverbot: I don't know. What is your name?

User: My full name is Matthew Spandex Peaknuckle.

Cleverbot: What a nice name. I don't want to tell you my full name.

User: What is my name?

Cleverbot: Matthew.

User: What is my full name?

Cleverbot: I don't know.

User: My full name is Matthew Spandex Peaknuckle.

Cleverbot: HAHAH. the Joker is way hotter than you.

User: What is my full name?

Cleverbot: I'm not sure.

User: My full name is Matthew Spandex Peaknuckle.

Cleverbot: Benjamin Parks?

User: My full name is Matthew Spandex Peaknuckle.

Cleverbot: That's a nice name.

User: What is my full name?

Cleverbot: I don't know that either.

[–]WDRBQZ 0 points1 point ago

Pretty sure I got Skynet

Cleverbot: Do you find that we are all unique?
User: Who do you mean by 'we'.
Cleverbot: Your parents.
User: Im uncomfortable with these questions.
Cleverbot: What is the best way to organize a system of humans?

[–]ShiroTori 0 points1 point ago

I remember the time I got Cleverbot to recite Dance Magic by David Bowie with me =D

[–]RuyIsHere 0 points1 point ago

Ray William Johnson motherfucker

[–]crshirley58 0 points1 point ago

Cleverbot has favorites..?

[–]BrockRockswell 0 points1 point ago

Well no big deal. I just mad this happen... http://imgur.com/ReWBD

[–]OtaConnor 2 points3 points ago

First one of these to actually make me laugh

[–]SuperUltraJesus 1 point2 points ago

http://imgur.com/ws6Wy

[–]theasbestoscrew -2 points-1 points ago

Go outside.

[–]456852456852 -4 points-3 points ago

I am fairly certain that cleverbot is not doing what you think. Pretty sure it randomly connects two users, and just switches everyone in a while. Sometimes inserts random crap to make it seem random. The more I read cleverbot conversations the more I think it works this way.

How else does it sometimes work just fine, sing songs, reply perfectly, even use emoticons and then just randomly crap on you?

[–]Eluriel 10 points11 points ago

No, you're horribly wrong.

Cleverbot saves conversations. In the beginning, certain responses were manually put in.

(if) "Hello, how are you?" - (then) "I'm alright, how are you?".

With each conversation, cleverbot saves the possible responses to certain phrases. So, for example:

"I'm alright, how are you?" can then have the following response saved as a potential response by cleverbot if it's ever asked that particular (or similar) question.

Whenever you say anything in cleverbot, it checks whether a similar conversation happened (and it did, most conversations are quite similar), and chooses one response from its vast database of previous responses, maybe at random, maybe based on its frequency. You are, in a way, speaking with many many users that just happened to have similar conversations in the past.

This system is very good at creating A.I. type interaction, but the problem with this particular case is that every goddamn idiot is allowed to use it. Therefore, sometimes, people misunderstand or just do the "BUT UR A ROBOT, I'M NOT CLEVERBOT" type responses that just mess up the overall coherence.

You could quite easily create a sci-fi talking board computer if you just paid a couple of thousand of people to "speak" with cleverbot, being both polite and eloquent, whilst avoiding overly personal responses that might not be shared by the rest of the people "programming" the system. This is to avoid ambiguity when questions like "what is your favourite colour?" come up.

You can test the latter by asking "how old are you?" in cleverbot. Though bear in mind that some questions are programmed in to avoid too much confusion. For example "What's your name?" seems to generally default to "Cleverbot.". You can test various other ways to put the question and I'm sure you'll find your fair share of actual names.

[–]kindalaureny 3 points4 points ago

Reminds me of RRRRthats5R's ChatBot

(You might want to read this if you're confused.)

[–]Krivvan 0 points1 point ago

That's closer than you might think considering it learns responses by observing how people respond to it. It's like talking to another human user some unknown time in the past.

[–]Camplify -2 points-1 points ago

User: Hello.

Cleverbot: How are you?

User: Well...

Cleverbot: Well?

User: That....

Cleverbot: That?

User: Escalated...

Cleverbot: Co?

User: Co?

Cleverbot: Co mowisz?

User: What are you saying? What does it mean?

Cleverbot: I say Co?

User: Cleverbot, you're drunk, go back to bed.

Cleverbot: Alright... goes to bed.

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