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1471
1472

It's not what you think! (i.imgur.com)

submitted ago by Interstellarspace

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[–]shizzler 133 points134 points ago

why does she have camel toes?

[–]Maleous 170 points171 points ago

I'm a bit ashamed I looked for her crotch after reading your comment...

[–]Late_Night_Grumbler 36 points37 points ago

I found her crotch.

[–]RVPisManU 8 points9 points ago

That's not a crotch...

[–]onemadnigga 7 points8 points ago

Doesn't matter, I can still fap to it

[–]bloodwing92 0 points1 point ago

I only didn't look at her crotch because of that comment.

[–]Amandamwestbrook -1 points0 points ago

Same

[–]meeboe7_king 33 points34 points ago

I broke my arm yesterday, now I‘m browsing reddit one-handed...

[–]TheDerrs 48 points49 points ago

YOU PERVERT DON'T YOU DARE WRITE ME AGAIN!

[–]GuyFromPoland 9 points10 points ago

;(

[–]Emorgaron 4 points5 points ago

I just spent longer than I would like to admit making a winking face and frown at the same time.

[–]GrammerNasi 4 points5 points ago

You should ask your mom to help you out.

[–]Neebat 0 points1 point ago

Only if he breaks the other one.

[–]La_Strada 1 point2 points ago

I don't know whether I should be proud for knowing this reference, or ashamed because it shows just how much time I spend on Reddit..

[–]E_Towns_Finest 56 points57 points ago

As a pirate, I can relate :(

[–]gerald_bostock 14 points15 points ago

Alternate ending

[–]baumkramer 7 points8 points ago

Should've had an eyepatch to explain the wink.

[–]matlockdown 3 points4 points ago

I'd arrrghue the same

[–]tubbynerd 10 points11 points ago

This is just fucking pathetic....

[–]SkinnyGenez 4 points5 points ago

THANK YOU. Jesus, it's not clever or witty at all. If it wasn't for the sexual implications, I would have assumed an 8 year old made it.

[–]BarmackAttack 13 points14 points ago

She thought he wanted to have a conversation that was rated aaaarrrrrrggghhh.

Ba dup chh.

Terrible i know...but i had to.

[–]suto 3 points4 points ago

Haha, his name is Jack.

[–]PDerp 2 points3 points ago

I remember saying something similar in an MMO when I was younger. I was holding my dog.

When I explained this, one of my group mates commented, "It's still gross."

[–]YourMomSaidHi 2 points3 points ago

This isn't funny. Why would he announce he was typing one handed? It's not really relevant if you are a pirate. Also, if you are Facebook chatting someone, you probably know he is a pirate and would not be upset that he was typing one handed.

[–]danyul91 5 points6 points ago

How did he type the exclamation mark?

[–]ACEmat 70 points71 points ago

Okay, listen closely and pay attention:

  1. Thumb on "Shift."

  2. Index finger on "1."

[–]SamWilber 38 points39 points ago

im sorry can you repeat step 2 im confused

[–]danyul91 25 points26 points ago

Shit.

[–]Ice_tail 32 points33 points ago

http://i.imgur.com/6MBwS.jpg

[–]arcanition 21 points22 points ago

Fuck I got my dick stuck in the ceiling fan.

[–]Ice_tail 7 points8 points ago

I dont know what I did wrong, I killed my cat :(

[–]Oxtorius 2 points3 points ago

My dick is stuck in a fan. Your directions were not clear enough

[–]elad661 2 points3 points ago

Or, for the incompetent, most modern OSs has accessibility features such as "sticky keys"

[–]AndDuffy 2 points3 points ago

  1. Hook on shift
  2. Index finger on 1

[–]Thelonesomemoo 0 points1 point ago

wtf is that really how you type an exclamation mark?

I do pinky on shift, ring finger on one...

[–]BijasBcrazy -1 points0 points ago

Doesn't work on left handed guy like this pirate. Try pinky on shift and thumb on 1. Good luck.

[–]DetectiveObvious -1 points0 points ago

You can also right shift or caps lock.

edit : actually i just released that i have an azerty keyboard and i don't need any key modifier for an exclamation mark.

[–]tchoob 8 points9 points ago

No, you can't.

[–]QuilleFace 2 points3 points ago

I don't know why but this sent me into a giggle fit.

[–]Taatero 0 points1 point ago

As he is disabled, he was issued a guide parrot, just as blind people can get guide dogs. Amongst other things, the parrot is trained to remember the most common key combinations required for messaging.

[–]lovelydayfora 0 points1 point ago

xmodmap

[–]BearsAreCool 2 points3 points ago

Sticky keys.

[–]Bushinoeight 1 point2 points ago

Obligatory "GF texted 'what are you doing?' as soon as I read this response"

[–]MrKrowe 2 points3 points ago

False, this requires the woman to respond in the first place.

[–]Snipererer -1 points0 points ago

I wonder if he pirates.

[–]Arealpanda 0 points1 point ago

One handed +100

[–]Richard_Kuklinski 0 points1 point ago

It's his fault for winking.

[–]zanii 0 points1 point ago

Wouldn't blame her... The blink-smiley face can be quite the ambiguous e-mote.

[–]Hookhand 0 points1 point ago

Yarrrr...... : (

[–]jeremylew416 1 point2 points ago

Ewwww.... so he was masturbating with his hook?

[–]mrizzerdly 0 points1 point ago

My ex can type one handed faster than with two. I type like I have socks on my hands.

[–]The_5th_of_November 0 points1 point ago

Pirate's username is Jack.

[–]StefanThePro 1 point2 points ago

forget women like that.

[–]tupungato -1 points0 points ago

Relevant

[–]Trenchyjj 3 points4 points ago

...ish

[–]dubious_orb 0 points1 point ago

Relevant

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TdeSh3vLvYI

[–]thegreatwhitemenace 1 point2 points ago

bro don't use the semi-colon eyes if you're not tryna mack

[–]usernamenottakenwooh 1 point2 points ago

Fapping with a hook hurts, that's why he's crying, isn't it?

[–]D1M1R 0 points1 point ago

To be fair, every time someone makes a winky face I instantly think it's perverted in some way.

[–]disappearingboy 0 points1 point ago

Captain Hook's first name is James.

[–]monstereddit 1 point2 points ago

After recently breaking my right hand, having to explain why you are typing with one hand (while typing with one hand) is annoying as fuck.

[–]Peacefulrun4 0 points1 point ago

For someone typing with one hand, he has amazing grammar compared to that bitch.

[–]cjb630 0 points1 point ago

this isn't funny!

[–]BarneyBent 0 points1 point ago

Secret last panel- he's masturbating with the hook (up to you to imagine how).

[–]laur7620 0 points1 point ago

What did you expect she'd think after saying that with a ;P

[–]sage101 0 points1 point ago

why would that even be mentioned? It's not like I message someone and tell them I'm wearing a blue hat or something.

[–]DerHelm 0 points1 point ago

I used to do tech support for an ISP. Some times when I asked people to type something, they would say something like "Give me a second, I only have 1 hand." Took me a month to realize it was cause there other hand was on the phone, and not because it was missing.

[–]LaboratoryOne 0 points1 point ago

Clarity clarence suggests that he used the semicolon because he couldnt hit shift with one hand to make the colon.

[–]smash_grab_job 1 point2 points ago

Pirates need love too :(

[–]ACEmat -1 points0 points ago

It's sad, because many women would just jump to that conclusion. :/

[–]Nenor 4 points5 points ago

Indeed. Much more likely that a guy with a hook-hand is on the other end.

[–]sometypeofperson 2 points3 points ago

Anyone who does jump to that conclusion is the pervert.

[–]Average_Joke -4 points-3 points ago

This title applies to anyone who thinks this is funny.

[–]KatoTheWeirdKid -4 points-3 points ago

How does he surf the net and jerk it?

[–]Rof1_Waffl3 -2 points-1 points ago

"don't you dare write me again"

[–]Thricefold1 0 points1 point ago

Poor misunderstood pirate... Wenches think he's only after the booty

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