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top 200 commentsshow all 425

[–]IBEATUPKIDS 828 points829 points ago

This is r/funny, don't you dare bring that shit in here.

[–]dirtysanchez1 111 points112 points ago

I'm Australian and think it's hilarious.

[–]byzantium_[S] 52 points53 points ago

That is why I could not figure out why people were freaking out here. Only a fellow Aussie would find this funny.

[–]wheels52095 20 points21 points ago

I'm from the US and I still found it funny! I guess its just because i like spiders.

[–]JoshZilIa 9 points10 points ago

You like wut?..

[–]I_like_spiders 7 points8 points ago

Thank you!

[–]A7X4REVer 6 points7 points ago

I'm in Canada and I find this funny, spiders aren't scary at all.

[–]arkanemusic 12 points13 points ago

I hope you're sorry for that.

[–]nonslip-paperclip -1 points0 points ago

I'm Aussie and find this terrifying, and I know most of my friends would, too.

[–]Tetchy 235 points236 points ago

Definitely a more /r/WTF sort of thing.

I "noped" so hard.

[–]Randamba 33 points34 points ago

Is the bigger spider being eaten by the baby spiders? Or are they just sitting on her for no reason?

Edit: I'm not trying to ask a stupid question here. I don't know about you, but I don't make it my thing to go around researching spiders, and I tried googling baby spiders ride adult spiders and it didn't help. It brought up a video that was supposed to be an adult spider being squashed revealing dozens of tiny spiders, which didn't work.

[–]filterspam 60 points61 points ago

They're hitching a ride. They keep telling her to go but she can't because some asshole trapped her under a CD cover.

[–]byzantium_[S] 83 points84 points ago

The spiderlings sit on the mother's bely until they get a little older I think.

[–]MimeGod 36 points37 points ago

The wolf spider is the only spider that carries its young like that. Wolf spiders are non-poisonous (to humans anyways), and eat other spiders.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wolf_spider

[–]anxiousalpaca 76 points77 points ago

good spider greg, eats other spiders.

[–]sweetcarolinessweets 18 points19 points ago

Do they eat their own young? Maybe if you just leave it under there log enough, it will just take care of business.

[–]Texas0324 20 points21 points ago

The children eat the mother.

[–]IAmLyingRightNow 86 points87 points ago

This kills the spider.

[–]Terrance021 28 points29 points ago

Who is your daddy and what does he do

[–]onecheeseburger 11 points12 points ago

Think of them like baby kangaroos in the mother's pouch.

[–]wolf_man007 45 points46 points ago

Only 85 times more evil.

[–]Skizot_Bizot 21 points22 points ago

I think you might be low balling that figure wolfie.

I mean kangaroos are no saints but they don't liquify the organs of its prey while it's alive for easy digestion.

[–]Squallish 8 points9 points ago

They're paralyzed, they don't feel a thing!

[–]Roflkopt3r 9 points10 points ago

No. Don't send this bullshit to r/wtf, this is r/pics or whatever.

[–]muchbacon 12 points13 points ago

I think r/aww is really more appropriate here

[–]RuyIsHere 10 points11 points ago

I noped the shit out of this

[–]Wooooly 42 points43 points ago

Hello friend of Hagrid's..

[–]BlindRat 35 points36 points ago

Why did you leave it there all night?

[–]byzantium_[S] 42 points43 points ago

It was raining so didn't take it outside.

[–]ignisnatus 349 points350 points ago

Good thinking. First wait until it stops raining, then burn the house down.

[–]BlindRat 7 points8 points ago

Soooo...what are you going to do with them now?

[–]EnterPasswordHere 241 points242 points ago

Leave them in there, but provide no food. Eventually they will become hungry enough to turn cannibalistic. Fairly soon after only two spiders will remain, these will be the strongest of the brood. But what to do with them then? Burn them? No. You release them. You see, they now have a taste for spiders. They will rid your house of all spiders!

[–]Painting_Flowers 30 points31 points ago

Upvote for Skyfall reference.

[–]Damwing 10 points11 points ago

ha was sure i heard it somewhere, but couldnt remember where. ty.

[–]byzantium_[S] 22 points23 points ago

Umm..... I don't know about this you guys...

[–]DomDomMartin 2 points3 points ago

shhhh shhh shhh. Let it happen.

[–]Detectiveoftheeast 5 points6 points ago

Ironically, this type of spider does eat other spiders.

[–]Rowan93 3 points4 points ago

I'm pretty sure most species of spider eat other spiders. I remember reading somewhere that there's like, only one species of tarantula that doesn't eat members of its own kind, and I went to wikipedia to check and fuck, fuck, fuck, why did I do that, there are spiders in the spider articles, fuck, fuck.

[–]kungtotte 23 points24 points ago

Obviously train them and use them for home security.

[–]wakenm 6 points7 points ago

One person helps with this for best results, but if you're daring, like James Bond or the Guy on a Buffalo, you can do this alone.

One person/hand, removes the CD cover. The other drops a substantially large textbook. Proceed to jump on the textbook, stomping violently.

[–]borfrousseau 100 points101 points ago

Kill it before it lays... oh.

[–]this_whomps 25 points26 points ago

OP has doomed us all.

[–]justinj1125 21 points22 points ago

I say she should relase them into an arena to fight to the death. Which ever one lives will be the strongest of all. When you have a winner, put its head on a stake as a warning to all of the other spiders who dare to go to your house. If any other spiders dare to pass the warning put their heads on a stake outside your house too. Soon you will have a house encircled with spider heads on toothpicks and you may call yourslef the spider overlord.

[–]TheVitrifier 83 points84 points ago

I have an idea on how to deal with this. Soak that piece of paper in gasoline so that the gasoline GOES UNDER the spiders. Then light a match, and burn your house down.

[–]Budddda 37 points38 points ago

and carefully...

reeeeaaaalllyy carefully...

Burn the house down!

[–]sandybell751 2 points3 points ago

Boy...

[–]GirlWithThePandaHat 22 points23 points ago

Now I am normally a rational person. And when I see a spider I let it out. But this, this fills me with dread, like staring into an abyss and having it stare back. With 600 eyes by the way. At least that's my guess on how many freaking spiders there are.

[–]im_a_zombie 5 points6 points ago

When you let it out side this is what happens and they all come inside

[–]lunchbawkx 130 points131 points ago

Better burn the house down just to make sure...

[–]ultimatefrizzzbee 131 points132 points ago

burn the house down, build a new house to trick the little fuckers, and then burn that one down, too. just to be sure.

[–]Skizot_Bizot 42 points43 points ago

Well yeah... What if one of the little ones slipped out? The whole area is compromised.

I'd just leave the state and change your name to be safe.

[–]iamplasma 24 points25 points ago

Nuke the site from orbit, it's the only way to be sure...

[–]jsaidoo 12 points13 points ago

Use the Death Star to blast the planet, it's the only way to be sure...

[–]kevingrumbles 6 points7 points ago

exterminatus. its the only way, the human race will understand.

[–]sweetcarolinessweets 95 points96 points ago

This is not funny! I go to this reddit category to calm down at night. Now I can't sleep because I feel those buggers crawling all over me!!!

[–]Billwiz29 21 points22 points ago

Should probably lay of the ice then..

[–]The_Mosephus 3 points4 points ago

Ice... not even twice.

[–]AdmiralSkippy 3 points4 points ago

If you can feel them what makes you so sure you're not covered in spiders?

[–]cutthecrap 8 points9 points ago

You're high on LSD? Don't think of spiders, motherfucker, don't think of spiders all over your face!

[–]luftwaffles1337 21 points22 points ago

[–]theshannons 8 points9 points ago

This is funny the same way Leatherface is funny.

[–]ExplodingUnicorns 35 points36 points ago

You fed it after midnight, didn't you?

[–]Royd 25 points26 points ago

this is more of the "don't get it wet" thing

[–]Momentt 26 points27 points ago

This is kind of cool actually. Nature at work!

[–]byzantium_[S] 17 points18 points ago

Yeah, funny thing- my sister who is a nurse/midwife-in-training mentioned that the spider looked pregnant. No idea how. Probably by the eggs at the underside of the belly.

[–]just_coffee 14 points15 points ago

You should put something heavy (like a paper weight) on top of the cd cover to prevent it from accidentally getting knocked over and letting the baby spider army escape.

[–]GrimxPajamaz 14 points15 points ago

Or use the heavy object to smash the fuck out of them

[–]im_a_zombie 14 points15 points ago

How do you plan to take care of this if burning your house down isn't an option?

[–]cutthecrap 6 points7 points ago

how about implosion by cold fusion? Not technically burning it down.

[–]bean220 9 points10 points ago

Holy. Shit. Balls.

[–]2dollarb 5 points6 points ago

Wrap it; this would make a perfect Christmas gift!

[–]nympho_dora_tonks 13 points14 points ago

I feel like I'll never be happy again. This picture is like a fucking dementor.

[–]Amongus 36 points37 points ago

Nope. Nope...

[–]Delkomatic 4 points5 points ago

i think its more funny for the posters that he was able to ruin all of our nights....you evil genius!

[–]RuyIsHere 1 point2 points ago

Fuck off

[–]Good_Guy_Graig 4 points5 points ago

Spray raid around the base of the CD case. Be generous with it. Then slowly remove the top and go Saw series on them.

[–]LWJR2552 13 points14 points ago

/r/spiders would appreciate this, don't kill them!

[–]sworeiwouldntjoin 0 points1 point ago

Don't kill them? What the fuck is wrong with you?! There is no other option, they must all die!

Jesus Christ, coming in here, saying people shouldn't kill spiders, what's wrong with this guy...

[–]byzantium_[S] 30 points31 points ago

LOOK AT THE SPIDER MUM'S BELLY! CRAWLING WITH SPIDERLINGS!!

[–]Puppy8897 19 points20 points ago

MY EYES YOU ASSHOLE

[–]amacleod426 10 points11 points ago

The goggles do nothing!

[–]nympho_dora_tonks 26 points27 points ago

I thought she was just furry or something... This picture just went from bad to never sleeping again ever.

[–]soulofgranola 3 points4 points ago

Oh God. Could you imagine being a momma spider, afraid of spiders?

[–]harmonicoasis 12 points13 points ago

I never understood how spiders could stand being covered in spiders...

[–]tehcezar 6 points7 points ago

That's unbelievably cute.

[–]tinker-tailor 4 points5 points ago

They have separation anxiety.

[–]TheVitrifier 2 points3 points ago

OH... oh god... I did not see that before. Now I will never be able to sleep. Ever.

[–]ooo_shiny 2 points3 points ago

Why, oh why, did I choose to look at that picture? Now my skin won't stop crawling.

[–]throwaway_41 3 points4 points ago

Every person making some form of "nope" or "burn down the house" joke is such a beautiful and unique flower.

[–]Macnerdboy 6 points7 points ago

Now you have to move...

[–]ArtAndMusic 2 points3 points ago

I understand why you posted this in funny as someone who is not afraid of spiders. the other peoples comments of nope

[–]Alaskatar 16 points17 points ago

Why is this in /r/funny? Seems like this should go in /r/WTF

[–]TheRoyalSniper 7 points8 points ago

a spider reproduced

WTF?

[–]TheActualAWdeV 7 points8 points ago

Why, did you say what the fuck?

[–]Roflkopt3r 4 points5 points ago

It's a shame what has become of r/wtf... thanks to people like Alaskatar.

[–]Vinr-Alfakyn 2 points3 points ago

Makes me think of Apollo 18.

[–]FauxFancyPants 2 points3 points ago

You can see her body is covered with the little fuckers as well.

[–]stephanieisanerd 1 point2 points ago

That is so not funny. Better burn that fucking house down. I mean look at the size of that thing!

[–]Mine6chan 0 points1 point ago

i know this is not the norm on reddit but... SO CUTE!! >.< all those baby spiders!! aawwwww .... but seriously, you probably need to nuke the neighbourhood

[–]wakkey2 0 points1 point ago

I think this is more sufficient than burning the house down...

http://www.guntruck.com/Resources/W54davy1.jpg

Just to be safe...

[–]crowhorse 0 points1 point ago

Just burn your house down.

[–]EggbroHam 2 points3 points ago

what the hell kinda cd cover is this?

[–]XschlotsofrageX 0 points1 point ago

So I see you didn't kill it with fire quick enough.

[–]digital_chef 2 points3 points ago

so, where do you live now?

[–]Bounty1Berry 2 points3 points ago

Repost this to /r/aww. It's showing paternal concern, carrying its young with it.

[–]andisaid8 0 points1 point ago

Burn that shit right now

[–]Buncan 2 points3 points ago

Nightmares.....

[–]Thinkbotc 3 points4 points ago

You need to go Hitler on those little bastards.

[–]Shirubot 6 points7 points ago

NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE

[–]ignisnatus 18 points19 points ago

This is how I hear NOPE

[–]DesuNinja 8 points9 points ago

That... that made my night.

[–]Tasgall 3 points4 points ago

I'm surprised nobody's posted this one yet.

[–]matthewbowers88 1 point2 points ago

Hell no

[–]LaserOstriches 0 points1 point ago

If that paper is in the correct position, then I would get a trash bag, sweep that paper off the table and into the trash bag as quickly as possible, triple tie the trash bag in record time, and run outside to throw it in the trash bin. Soak contents of bin thoroughly with gasoline and BUUUUUUURN.

[–]Lamb3ntSpartan 3 points4 points ago

r/funny: now with 97% more "NOPE!"

[–]Summon_Jet_Truck 0 points1 point ago

Fuckin hell fuck I just woke up in a good mood and now its a bad mood fuckin reddit.

[–]lumberwizhard -1 points0 points ago

So much nope...

[–]Average_Toaster 0 points1 point ago

Nope. Nope nope nope nope. Nope. Nope nope. Nope.

[–]poopshackle 0 points1 point ago

Fire, USE FIRE!

[–]giveemhellkid -1 points0 points ago

This does not belong here. Put in r/wtf

[–]goatman11 1 point2 points ago

lol i had that once at a farm my family owns. my one was the size of my palm and there were thousands of them under there. spiders i can stand but spiders with babies growing in pimples on their backs can go fuck themselves.

[–]b0op 0 points1 point ago

you caught that fucker just in time! wow.

[–]DeexEnigma 0 points1 point ago

Now I know ALL THE ANSWERS!!

[–]WrinklesTheFalmer 0 points1 point ago

I immediately shouted FUUUUUCK that! How long can a spider go without food? After moms gone of course.

[–]oberoi 1 point2 points ago

Time to sit back, relax, remember the good times you had in that house, turn on the gas and light a cigarr.

[–]Gabe_b 0 points1 point ago

Hilarious o.0

[–]zrollo 0 points1 point ago

Immediately my feet were off the ground.

[–]nytemare99 -1 points0 points ago

How could you find that funny D:

[–]00000000000m -1 points0 points ago

The horror

[–]DrPingu76 -1 points0 points ago

Ewwwwww!

[–]Aertan 1 point2 points ago

"They trapped me, those poor bastards."

[–]rina_onyx 0 points1 point ago

thank god you trapped it in time....

[–]Mauldeth 0 points1 point ago

KILL IT BEFORE IT LAYS.... Oh shit, never mind.

[–]Alleric -1 points0 points ago

Damn it, it made me scream like a girl! Not cool man... not cool.

[–]Bskulsky -1 points0 points ago

Wtf is wrong with that spider lol .... Oh shit am TRAPed!!! I guess there is nothing else to do but make babies, enjoy suffering with me! Lol ....dies

[–]Bjoernzor -1 points0 points ago

THIS ISN'T FUNNY AT ALL

[–]bammer06 -2 points-1 points ago

NOPE!

[–]nguyenpc -2 points-1 points ago

noNONONONONONONONONONONONONON

[–]CantHugEveryCat 1 point2 points ago

Be kind to her. She's a very distant cousin of yours.

[–]Kaninbil 0 points1 point ago

HOW IS THIS FUNNY?!

[–]LkM_ -1 points0 points ago

FUCK. FUUUUUUUUUCK

[–]Michi_THE_Awesome -1 points0 points ago

That's... That... You're terrible person. My eyeballs are scarred now. This is the wrong subreddit for that kind of nightmare. That image is my nightmare. Go to r/wtf you evil creature.

[–]j9p3s -1 points0 points ago

Please take this elsewhere.

[–]FightTheFade 0 points1 point ago

Well I'm sure you had a great time at your house… so I guess it's time to go ahead and burn it down!

[–]gloopding 1 point2 points ago

And this is why you read the heading before you click the link. Aaaaaaaargh high-definition spiders.

[–]Schobbo 0 points1 point ago

spider was carrying the babies around on its back ^

[–]Joradnc -1 points0 points ago

I was prepared for 1 spider, not many. Now I feel them on me.

[–]anonymous_drone 0 points1 point ago

One of the best anti-procrastination ads ever

[–]Arco1338 -1 points0 points ago

Nope!! Fuck that shit, and nope once more!!!

[–]cutthecrap 0 points1 point ago

I guess you didn't want to move that anyway.

[–]calliope24 -1 points0 points ago

I've had nightmares like this

[–]Wuek 0 points1 point ago

I want to just burn everything right there

[–]suddenly_awkward 1 point2 points ago

Awww those are just so cute! What are you going to name them all?

[–]Langorian -1 points0 points ago

Bwahahaha this is what r/funny gets for shitting on r/wtf with r/funny content

[–]Ubernook 0 points1 point ago

It's the spider's house now. You should leave.

[–]PinkNinja72 0 points1 point ago

Had one of these in my classroom, didn't get close enough to notice the babies on her back. Sprayed her with Raid and suddenly dozens of babies shot off in all directions like a spider firework. Never again.

[–]NUKEDxPENGUIN 1 point2 points ago

I like the spiders tag. It allows me to avoid my greatest fear, or at least be aware of it.

[–]I_am_medusa 0 points1 point ago

Run!!!!

[–]ger_guy 0 points1 point ago

unit 43 ready for action

[–]DublinItUp 0 points1 point ago

Poke a hole in the top and blow smoke into it. Problem solved.

[–]PLATOS_LEFT_TESTICLE 0 points1 point ago

those lil spidies are gettin all over dat ass

[–]davidpoole -1 points0 points ago

yuck

[–]superayds -1 points0 points ago

BURN IT NOW

[–]tcbeavin -1 points0 points ago

BURN THE MOTHERFUCKER DOWN!!!! No use trying to save anything

[–]TodaysChaos -1 points0 points ago

This creeped me out so much. shivers

[–]GVE2008 -1 points0 points ago

KILL IT WITH FIRE!!

[–]TechnicalPony 0 points1 point ago

Congratulations on becoming a grandfather.

[–]kazwad87 -1 points0 points ago

TIME TO GET YOUR GENOCIDE ON

[–]Joshjelly -1 points0 points ago

I hope you have no emotional ties to your house, cause it looks like you need to break out the gasoline and torch the place.

[–]cali_guy760 -1 points0 points ago

Time to burn your house down.

[–]_kittykitty_ 0 points1 point ago

I am just thankful that OP used label 'SPIDERS' as well as in the link name. Didn't click.

[–]kendigjl 0 points1 point ago

If you leave them under there long enough, she will eat her own babies. Then when you let her out she will no longer have a taste for flies or gnats or grasshoppers. Instead, she will only want to eat baby spiders.

[–]kliks -1 points0 points ago

WHAT THE FUCK! WHAT THE FUCK! SWEET JESUS! WHAT THE FUCK!

[–]Mrs_O 1 point2 points ago

Oh no! The spiders have all of the answers!

[–]ajfeiz8326 -1 points0 points ago

Okay. Find glue, and paste the CD cover to the paper; if you decide to take the "wait and see" approach, then accidentally knock into the paper, I predict a series of sleepless nights.

[–]AlusPryde -1 points0 points ago

this is what fire was invented for

[–]woodbear -1 points0 points ago

fuck fuck fuck shit shit fuck shit fuck shit shit fuck fuck fuck fuck shit fuck shit shit fuck fuck

[–]rushesh 0 points1 point ago

when the hell did spiders become funny

[–]kezza596 1 point2 points ago

Cut a hole in the top. A small one that you can cover when necessary. Make/get some tool that aims deodorant sprays. Choose hairspray etc. Spray. Result.

[–]TehMannie -1 points0 points ago

Well only one thing you can do... Find a new home, it belongs to them now.

[–]discoliz -1 points0 points ago

This is how we die...

[–]NapoEz3 -1 points0 points ago

The joke is in the comments, not in the picture.

[–]Sparkvoltage -1 points0 points ago

"Mr. Johnson, would you care to explain why you DON'T have your homework today?"

[–]frrrni -1 points0 points ago

Did they come directly from her? Doesn't she have to lay eggs first or something?

[–]mythicalmarine -1 points0 points ago

Sir please listen to these instructions and do us all a favor.

Take your smallest drill bit and put a hole in the top. Then proceed to drop any or spider or rat poison down the hole. Tape over the hole, wait for those little buggers to die and carry on with daily life

[–]engelMaybe -1 points0 points ago

"Advanced grammar" something something "Answer key"
What is it? I must know!

[–]kionay -1 points0 points ago

BURN IT!! BURN IT WITH FIRE BEFORE IT... wait. shit.

[–]Gneissisnice 0 points1 point ago

AAAAAAAAAAAAAH AAAAAAAAAAAH AAAAAH WHY IS THIS IN /r/FUNNY AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

[–]MarleyPants 1 point2 points ago

Apply direct pressure until THEY ALL STOP MOVING

[–]LiquidBionix 0 points1 point ago

Let's all sing the nope song...

[–]glennart 0 points1 point ago

Nope!!!!!!!!!

[–]Sircumalot89 0 points1 point ago

NOPE!

[–]laserbeanz 0 points1 point ago

This shit happened IN THE MIDDLE OF MY LIVING ROOM FLOOR. I had to vacuum in the middle of the night.

[–]LordEnigma -1 points0 points ago

I think you dodged a bullet there.

[–]bebopbopeep 0 points1 point ago

Absolute nope

[–]dat828 0 points1 point ago

Obviously you took the most rational approach, immediately drilled a hole in the top, and gassed them to death, right?