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1321
1322

Hey Tim. (i.imgur.com)

submitted ago by Tanglez

all 135 comments
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[–]ep311 49 points50 points ago

Would you suck my dick if I washed it?

"No!"

You dirty dick sucker.

[–]Satafly 12 points13 points ago

funnier than the comic

[–]RoaringWindz 219 points220 points ago

This seems like a Cyanide and Happiness comic.

[–]Crackity_J 189 points190 points ago

It's like a cheap Cyanide and Happiness rip off, but still amusing

[–]SeekretSquirrel 79 points80 points ago

MS Paint version

[–]MrDoe 57 points58 points ago

MS Paint windows 98-version.

[–]syllabic 26 points27 points ago

I can't draw a mouth so I'll just use the circle tool and cut half of it off.

[–]BabblingCrap -5 points-4 points ago

I think that there is already a half-circle tool implemented.

[–]SexualPie 7 points8 points ago

You could do normal Cyanide and Happiness comics in MS Paint.

[–]spazmodic- 39 points40 points ago

Arsenic and Contentment

[–]hand_in_kak 1 point2 points ago

Arsenic and Amusement?

[–]rock61920 -3 points-2 points ago

What ever happened to it anyways

[–]LoverOfBacon 92 points93 points ago

Or the insult version: "Suck my dick, faggot." "Sure thing buddy." " :O "

[–]el_bhm 89 points90 points ago

Sure thing daddy

Enough of reddit for today.

[–]SteelGun 37 points38 points ago

"Suck my dick, faggot." "Sure thing buddy." " :O " " <===8"

[–]AxumArc 14 points15 points ago

:x3

:)..=3

[–]thefreq 18 points19 points ago

:O <=====3

:====3

:3

[–]Goochzuntite 2 points3 points ago

He ends as zoidberg?

[–]Navevan 5 points6 points ago

(\ /) (;,,;) (\ /)

[–]vincentk18 18 points19 points ago

        /            \_                       /            `  `    \
      /                \                     |.                     \
     /                   \                   \                       |
    /    .--._    .---.   |                   \                      |
    |  /      -__-     \   |                    ~-/--`-`-`-\         |
    | |                |  |                     |          \        |
     ||                  ||                     |            |       |
     ||     ,_   _.      ||                     |            |       |
     ||      e   e      ||  Hey Beavis,         |   _--    |       |
      ||     _  |_      ||   pull my finger!     _| =-.    |.-.    |
     @|     (o\_/o)     |@   Heh,Heh!!!          o|/o/       _.   |
       |     _____     |                        /  ~          \ |
        \ ( /uuuuu\ ) /             No way!    (/___@)  ___~    |
         \  `====='  /              Ass wipe!!    |_===~~~.`    |
          \  -___-  /                         _______.--~     |
           |       |            //             \________       |
           /-_____-\       .  _//_                      \      |
         /           \     \\/////                    __/-___-- -_
       /               \    \   /                    /            __\
      /__|  AC / DC  |__\   / /                      -| Metallica|| |
      | ||           |\ \  / /                       ||          || |
      | ||           | \ \/ /                        ||          || |

[–]thefreq 3 points4 points ago

No, Zoidberg is 

^O;;;;O^

[–]EllKayBee 10 points11 points ago

(V)(;,,;)(V)

[–]ComplainsAboutDvotes 16 points17 points ago

This is Zoidberg

(\/){;,,;}(\/)

[–]thefreq 0 points1 point ago

Damn, I knew I was messing it up somehow. Close enough though I guess

[–]Goochzuntite 2 points3 points ago

Are you sure that's not a prawn from District 9?

Source: http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/d/d7/District_nine_ver2.jpg

[–]thefreq 4 points5 points ago

District 9 might be a Futurama spin-off or something I don't know

[–]LibraryRulesRule 2 points3 points ago

(V) (;,,;) (V)

[–]nadams810 3 points4 points ago

It's the ending smile that really makes this upvote worthy.

[–]bouncehaus -1 points0 points ago

:O<===8

:O==8

:O8

:O==8

:O<===8

[–]Manisil 2 points3 points ago

I am reminded of this

[–]evanthesquirrel 70 points71 points ago

STORYTIME!

Friend: blah blah blah argument

Me: blah blah blah counterpoint

Friend: suck my balls

Me: present them

Friend: *unzip

Me: *lick

Friend: you win

And that is the story about the third grossest thing I tasted that night.

[–]nshady 28 points29 points ago

Good on you for following through. That takes balls.

[–]Some_Young_Atheist 12 points13 points ago

Don't forget about the tongue!

[–]Cynikal818 11 points12 points ago

such an Evan thing to do

[–]Navevan 7 points8 points ago

As an Evan, I really hope people don't expect this of me...

[–]Cynikal818 5 points6 points ago

no worries...apparently he's a squirrel...nuts in his mouth comes with the occupation

[–]NoSleepForMeEVER 3 points4 points ago

Having dated an Evan, this is something an Evan would do... At least while he's drunk

[–]evboyce 3 points4 points ago

As an Evan, this explains a lot.

[–]Insecurity_Guard 1 point2 points ago

But, what were the other 2 things?

[–]evanthesquirrel 2 points3 points ago

Vitamin pills and a banana cream pie from a convenience store.

[–]Insecurity_Guard 2 points3 points ago

TIL vitamin pills and banana cream pie taste worse than balls.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]evanthesquirrel 7 points8 points ago

Because we made passionate love last night

[–]CorneliusJack 0 points1 point ago

Baaazzzing

[–]ComedicChaos 80 points81 points ago

Being named Tim, the title freaked me the fuck out.

[–]thefreq 16 points17 points ago

Hey Tim, would you suck my dick for 5 bucks?

[–]mehugz 9 points10 points ago

Probably. Let me see it first.

[–]thefreq 14 points15 points ago

8===========D

*Not to scale

[–]mehugz 4 points5 points ago

You know what? I'll give the ole college go. Besides, I've got this itch in my stomach I need you to scratch.

[–]thefreq 10 points11 points ago

Lemme send you a real pic of my penis real quick ;)

EDIT: For those of you who might have thought I was being serious.

[–]Akasazh 2 points3 points ago

http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m80os5B0lj1qfdk7b.gif

[–]LearnsSomethingNew 2 points3 points ago

Two things:

1) [Link text](Link URL)

Example: 

 [Hey this is reddit!](http://reddit.com)

Turns into Hey this is reddit!

2) Upvote for using the reverse gif. Thank you. Seriously.

[–]toaster_waffle 0 points1 point ago

Just cutting straight to the reverse? You don't mess around. Respect.

[–]timmlyy 18 points19 points ago

I agree.

[–]ManUfan101 14 points15 points ago

As another Tim I also was concerned.

[–]ladyk0420 4 points5 points ago

I am here to confirm this is my baby daddy Tim, just sayin.

[–]Timinator490 2 points3 points ago

Another Tim here.. the title definitely got my attention

[–]Timbo2702 1 point2 points ago

What these Tims have said

[–]tim_ninethousand -1 points0 points ago

Ditto.

[–]Olive_Garden -2 points-1 points ago

Whats with most of you tims having some form of tim in your name?

[–]Timthos 3 points4 points ago

It's obviously an amazing name for amazing people.

[–]timwasson 0 points1 point ago

Agreed.

[–]TimmyBash 0 points1 point ago

Timception.

[–]treacherous_tim 1 point2 points ago

Right there with you brother.

[–]Snarkdere 5 points6 points ago

We should form a tim club

[–]Futant55 0 points1 point ago

I'm in

[–]StoryTimeTim 0 points1 point ago

I highly disprove of this post. I charge at least 20.

[–]Modiga 34 points35 points ago

Churchill: “Madam, would you sleep with me for five million pounds?”

Socialite: “My goodness, Mr. Churchill… Well, I suppose… we would have to discuss terms, of course…”

Churchill: “Would you sleep with me for five pounds?”

Socialite: “Mr. Churchill, what kind of woman do you think I am?!”

Churchill: “Madam, we’ve already established that. Now we are haggling about the price.”

[–]TheMuffinMan98 12 points13 points ago

Note, this is not an actual Churchill quote.

[–]Bipolarruledout 0 points1 point ago

Oscar Wilde?

[–]IgnosticZealot 0 points1 point ago

But Oscar wild was gay, (and imprisoned for being such)

[–]AdvocateForLucifer 8 points9 points ago

Source?

[–]superINEK 7 points8 points ago

I had a friend who was exactly like the guy on the left. He would always do jokes like this and whenever I reacted like the guy on the right my friend was ready to pull down his pants. Fuck!

[–]Bipolarruledout 0 points1 point ago

So how many beers did it take to seal the deal?

[–]Thehealeroftri 25 points26 points ago

Classic Tim.

[–]mad_maxx17 7 points8 points ago

I went to jail for a week. One day while I was there four guys said come here we have to show you something. So I followed them and they all line up against the wall. Just then they all pulled out their dicks and one said "how many of these would you choke on?" at first I said "none of them" but then I realized there was no correct answer to that question. I then shook my head and walked away.

[–]FabGay 3 points4 points ago

Congratulations, you have lived my number one fantasy.

[–]bstormy 1 point2 points ago

Well... did you?

[–]spiralshadow 10 points11 points ago

This is such bullshit. Every dude has a price, and has thought about the question enough to know exactly what that price is. I for one, as a straight guy with no other particular inclination to suck a dick, would probably do it for about $1000.

[–]Some_Young_Atheist 15 points16 points ago

He'll, I'd do it for a Klondike bar!

[–]mctoasterson 2 points3 points ago

How many PMs did you just get?

[–]johnmcawesome 4 points5 points ago

http://i.imgur.com/pbcgk.png

[–]Bipolarruledout 0 points1 point ago

Do I get to choose the dick?

[–]wulfen 1 point2 points ago

That's grand that you've come to terms with your price.

[–]LawrenceM 3 points4 points ago

This is a dangerous game of chicken.

[–]seantonsoup 7 points8 points ago

As a gay man, I will have to try this. For science.

[–]Nathafae 2 points3 points ago

Language can be so cheeky sometimes.

[–]Freddy_Chopin 9 points10 points ago

/r/im14andthisisfunny

[–]thefreq 23 points24 points ago

/r/repostthingsfromsubredditswhilemaintainingthesmugsuperiorityineedtofeelgoodaboutmyself

[–]NoSleepForMeEVER 6 points7 points ago

/r/thesetitlesaregettingmoreandmoredifficulttoreadandieventuallyjustgaveuponthelastoneanddecidedtowritethispostinstead

[–]wevcss 0 points1 point ago

I don't think this subreddit exists.

[–]PalermoJohn 28 points29 points ago

r/imunder26andstilltooconcernedwithbeingcooltofinditfunny

[–]Ceejae 2 points3 points ago

This is juvenile and I fucking laughed.

[–]Timtasticc 1 point2 points ago

I can confirm this comic is accurate.

[–]TimIsWin 2 points3 points ago

Ready?

[–]ExtraLives 1 point2 points ago

I'm Tim.

I clicked.

Now I'm confused.

[–]foreverahipster 0 points1 point ago

This applies to everyone named Tim...besides me.

[–]JonCee500 0 points1 point ago

Hey Tim, can you even read this?

[–]hand_in_kak 1 point2 points ago

Me: Hey Tim, would you suck my cock if I cleaned it?

Tim: Nope

Me: You dirty cocksucker! Hahahahaha!

[–]timtooltime 1 point2 points ago

You Called?

[–]Anaract -1 points0 points ago

/r/Iam14andthisisfunny

[–]LOLasaurusFTW 0 points1 point ago

The code takes you to Rage Comic Maker, just in case you're wondering

[–]chewyice 1 point2 points ago

If he's clean, I don't see a problem here....

[–]darthn3ss 1 point2 points ago

I don't think so, Tim.

[–]epicbanhammer 0 points1 point ago

My name is Tim and no one likes to play the akward game with me since I win...

[–]LemonCent 0 points1 point ago

I almost fell for this when I was little but the question was how much I would let Michael Jackson fuck me for. I said a million dollars :(

[–]stevie_gee 0 points1 point ago

i felt terrible as i slowly clicked on the upvote as i realised the number of upvotes was 1234, ive never felt terrible for doing something good before

[–]guy_following_you -4 points-3 points ago

Fuck I used to hate this joke, well I still do. I never knew how to get out of it and still don't.

[–]CorraTerria 5 points6 points ago

How about, "I'd never suck your dick"?

[–]wulfen 3 points4 points ago

"I'd never suck a dick"

I think this just about covers it.

[–]AriBBCP 5 points6 points ago

don't knock it until you try it

[–]Bipolarruledout 0 points1 point ago

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Loaded_question

[–]donottakemeseriously 2 points3 points ago

Yes, this joke is so clever. Gets me every time! Anyway, updog.

[–]TheFundleBunny 3 points4 points ago

heh...heheh...

What's updog?..

heh...

[–]donottakemeseriously 1 point2 points ago

Nothin much, just drinking the days away. What's up with you??

[–]AUREL1EN -2 points-1 points ago

I tried this on my friend once and when I asked how much he would suck my dick for he thought for a second and said "I dont know, like 2 billion dollars?". I haven't let him live it down yet haha

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points ago

A little confused that he wouldn't just take the 5 bucks and do it... not a very smart fairy... not at all...

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